Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[Schat]

ik mis je en ik hou van jou...je bent prachtig

[Tamia78]

N,

 

Well, here I am again. We've talked and talked, and this morning was such a great converstation! I feel like we got into each other's heads..............only to find out that you honestly don't think that anything is wrong with you. What? It's comendable that you are letting me "find myself" and are allowing me some "space" before you want to start a relationship over again. But, trust me, you are FAR from perfect. You are a nice guy, but what do you really have to offer? You have a job, that's wonderful, I hope you can keep this one for more than 2 years. You never had money, I was always paying for stuff. How is that having something to offer for anyone else? Again, you are a pretty nice guy, but none of your other relationships seemed to work, ours didn't, so how come you never look at yourself? I think I have to make the decision to let you go for good. I don't think you are the one for me. I deserve someone who can look inside themselves and want to change for the better. I deserve someone who is going to help me grow, and not criticize me into changing for them. I may have loved you once, but I realize that I am settling with you, and that's not fair to you or me. I have to let you go. Neither one of us can move forward in this relationship. I hope you find someone, but I'm not sure that even she is going to make you happy. I couldn't.

 

It's okay that we're too different, I know that now. I don't entirely trust you anymore. While I don't agree that we brought out the worst in each other, we certainly didn't show each other our best sides. I know I'm better than that, and that's what I'm working to change. I wanna be right for someone one of these days. And when he comes along, I wanna be ready for him.

 

I hope you find what you are looking for, I'm sorry it wasn't me.

 

--T

[affairshipper]

It has been one month and five days since disappeared without a trace.

Is it over? You don't need or want me now? The last time we were together you seemed happy with me, what gives? You say I make you happier and you want to spend more time with me. What happened to you wanting to be there for me? You always say you miss me and the last text message you say luvu.

 

I am going crazy not hearing from you. I can't sleep. You are constantly on my mind.

 

Hurt and played is how I feel now.

[Nikki Sahagin]

We haven't spoken in about 2 weeks, you were contacting me every few days before then. We will probably see each other out soon, there are a lot of events coming up. I don't really like you that much as a person. I know the spell isn't fully lifted but I'm a bit conflicted. I loved you, now I don't even like you much but i'm not fully indifferent yet. You left it in the worst possible way.

[McGrupp]

babe i miss you so much. i am in so much pain. i dont know what to do i am so sorry.

 

please,please,please lets try again...

[weltrav]

You say that you don't want us to have regrets about our relationship. Well, sorry, but I do have regrets. I regret that I let us push each other away last spring when we went through some tough personal experiences. I also regret that I believed you when you said you wanted it to be temporary, that we would give each other another go. It turns out that I never quite gave up on you, but you did not give me the same benefit. And finally, I regret that you have associated me and being in a relationship with me with such negativity that you would throw yourself at multiple people this past month and finally date some dude off an online dating site, all this while not even giving me a second chance.

 

This has all devastated me, but I'm slowly learning that perhaps I am the better person.

[jjaded1]

Wow, i can't believe you are already on a dating site 49 days after our break up..and maybe sooner than that since I only found it today. Guess you didn't mean it when you said you wanted to marry me, have kids and couldn't imagine ur life without me when u said it a week b4 our break up. I especially liked the profile photo you used that I took on our vacation last year. And also the picture I took when we went hiking. I'm glad you made sure to mention in your "about me" section that u like laughing and you definitely know when something isn't working for you. I wonder if that was intentional bec you know I will cyber stalk you like I told you I did last time we broke up. Are you that callous? I hope not. I know I shouldn't be searching for you online, but I do miss you so much and really thought we'd weather this storm. I'm so dissapointed that you decided you didn't want to try anymore, and didnt even give me the courtesy of replying to the last text I sent. I told myself that at 60 days of silence I would be done. No googling or anything else. And I will be. I will get over you.

Edited November 5, 2009 by jjaded1

[bluestraps]

I gave you everything... My Heart, My Soul, My Body,...And now what do I have to show for it, a world of broken dreams. Memories are nice ,but without you to share them with me it makes it hard to think about them. We grew up togther, I was there for you when you needed me most. So many things hapened. Did you really ever love me? How Do I know? I'ts hard to think about things and not completly crumble. I dont know what is more painful, remembering the past with you or thinking about the future without you. If given the chance I would try again . But dont take too long, I may just be lucky enough to find someone who I can love even more. You many not be as happy as you thought you would be. That is the chance you took

[rickigal]

Here is a letter that I wrote to my ex to deal with my anger, confusion and hurt. I have come really close to sending it but I know that if I contact him it will just prolong the pain. It has helped me heal a bit to get some of the emotions out:

________________________________________________________________

 

 

 

Though we have been apart these months I still think about the tender moments we shared. I always hope that somehow you will come back into my life and we could share our laughs and our silliness that was brought out in each other when we were together. Your entry into my life made me look forward to every day that I could see you and when I was with you I never wanted to leave your arms. I have wanted to call, text or IM you so many times to just talk about little things like the Phillies or how beautiful the day was.

 

In all of my life I have never felt so close with someone, wanting to share my deepest secrets and desires. Everywhere I go and every song I hear reminds me of you and our time together. I still sometimes cry myself to sleep at night longing to be with you.

 

It stung so much that you posted a photo on a dating site that I took of you. I wondered what went through your mind when you were going through those photos we took that day. I still look at the few photos I have of us and remember you and us and what a great pair we made. You also posted on the site how you wanted a girl who "saw the good in people but wasn't blinded by their selfish intentions." Tell me, was I blinded by your selfish intentions?

 

I think about all of the times when you told me you bragged about what a wonderful girlfriend you had. How you called me your Ginger and Marianne. Loved that. You told me how in love with me you were. You gave me an unbelievable birthday writing in my card how you didn't have the words to describe how happy you were I came into your life and how you were looking forward to spending many more occasions with me two weeks before you broke up with me and invited me to your parent's house three days beforehand. I don't get it.

 

The girls ask to see you and the kitties all the time. It saddens me. I don't know what to tell them. I still don't understand why you couldn't be by my side throughout everything. It makes me wonder if there was something else...like you couldn't accept my children into your life. I also think about when you said "What did you want me to do, string you along until I told you I was sleeping with someone else?" The fact that you even said that makes me wonder...you would do such a thing?

 

I know that it isn't meant to be because if you really loved me you would have accepted my faults and issues and stood by my side to help me work through them together as a team...day by day, hug by hug. You would have been happy to support me and be my strength. I can't help but think you are selfish. I would give everything I have to anyone I love...they are just things and just money.

 

I replay in my mind all of the sweet things that you said to me, all of the things you opened up to me about, all of those times we laid in bed chatting and sharing our feelings.

 

It hurts even more that I was such a good girlfriend to you and I now feel like I was a placeholder in your life. I had deep, genuine, undeniable feelings that I haven't felt in a long time and I feel like you didn't reciprocate those feelings. When I left you said the most patronizing thing..."You're a sweet girl." Do you even know how degrading that was? That was all you could say after all of the moments we shared and conversations we had? Were they all meaningless to you? I'm a sweet girl???? That's all I was to you? I gave you all of me...trusted you, loved you, opened up to you, let down my guard for you. When we first got together I said I didn't want to commit to being your girlfriend because I didn't want to get hurt again. You reassured me that you wouldn't break up with me, you weren't going anywhere and that you wouldn't hurt me. I am so angry about that.

 

I will always feel something really special for you and I miss you like crazy. It has now been 5 weeks since you broke my heart but I still replay everything in my mind over and over all day long and I can't get you off of my mind. I love you and I always will in some way. I would take you back anytime. I hope you are well even though you hurt me so.

[twinklecat]

Hi Ex, hows things? Oh what's that you bought a new car and a new TV and felt the need to complain that my TV is too big so your smaller one will be better? WTF is that? Could you please tell me what you want? Would be nice! Oh, that's right you don't have a ******* clue.

 

You say you want to be on your own so you can do what you want when you want it, and without me dictating things? When in reality you are running round after some dumb bint and her child, at her beck and call, wow yeah you have really changed!

 

While we're on the subject of dictating things, have you any idea that's what I have had to put up with for the past 5 years? Going places YOU wanted, doing things YOU wanted, eating **** you wanted. Even moving to another country because YOU wanted to. The thing is, I have a very big advantage to you, I am way younger and can actually do something with my life, you? Carry on the way you are going and you will have no-one, except people who expect you to run around after them, sounds wonderful!

 

You make me out to be a complete monster, when infact that monster was YOUR doing. I have been there for you when no-one else was and I honestly did Love you with all my heart, and would drop everything for you. Shame you have lost that. Have a nice life!

[AMR]

how messed up is it that Slayer's "Manditory Suicide" makes me sad now??? it always was your favorite.

[almostpassedit]

Hey,

I added your brother to facebook on a false account i've created to try and see some pictures of you. Sad I know but I have no life plus I haven't heard from you in about 2 years.

 

On top of that, I wonder if you did anything like this, I know for a fact you were looking at my FB profile. I'm suppose to hang out with girl tomorrow, hopefully we'll end up having sex as I am in dire need.

 

I don't long for you like I use too. I guess its because your not around and not coming back.

 

An odd thing is, one of my rebounds I had post-break up is doing the same thing, she's talking to my sister, in fact they are friends and hang out, but I don't even spend 2 seconds thinking about her, I wonder if you don't even spend two seconds thinking about me.

[cheeze]

S,

I wont contact u again .... I hope

[Lamak]

Hello,

 

We haven't talked in a long period of time, but I see you around often. You probably could care less that I'm in the area, although I find it amusing that you acknowledge everyone in a group except for me. Funny thing is I'm starting to realize that you're an unhealthy person. There have been 2 instances so far where people have asked me why you have so many violent mood swings over small issues. I thought it was just me who saw you doing those things, but I guess others are noticing now. Remembering that you have problems makes the healing process easier, but not any faster. Sadly, it is still hard to see you living your life or to even be in the same as room as you. That will pass in time. Although I am still angry, I wish you the best. Life is tough, so there is no need to wish any bad omens on you. Take care and good luck.

[seriouslyconfused]

Hi H,

 

I guess I don't quite understand how you work exactly. We spend inordinate amount of time together, you move away against all people's advice, and now you say there never was a relationship. Sounds like you need to pull yer head outta yer ass and start taking responsibility for your actions. You've got booted or left the last 4-5 places you have lived all within 2 years. You keep blaming other people for this, well I got news for ya, its YOU.

 

Until you realize and admit that you have some mental health / substance abuse problems you will not get better and your life will be filled with pain. I really do like you H and enjoyed many times with you, but your pattern of ****ty choices has forced me to not talk to you, that and I'm still burnt about your denial of a relationship...I can't be around people who make consistently bad choices as you do.

 

There were a few times where I believe I was talking to the real you and I really really like that person, I just wish she would be there all the time...you truly are a kind and wonderful person, you just don't see it for yourself. I hope you decide that you need to change and become the woman you really want to be. I will always hold a piece of my heart for you H, really. I just can't deal with the emotional abuse, I hope you understand.

[affairshipper]

I deleted your cell number and email address from my contacts, but I still think of you. I'm now receiving blocked calls, and I wonder if it's you.

[lissar]

You are a coward.

[LostInLA]

I'm resisting the urge to lurk on your FB and your new gf's FB.

 

I don't need to know what's on there.

Going there only hurts me. I deserve happiness not hurt.

 

You texted me on Halloween day b/c I didn't respond to your text a few days earlier. I replied I'm doing fine, thx. I really want to tell you to not text me anymore but that would break NC. The irony.

 

Whatever, you don't care about me, so you can F-off.

 

Your stuck with an ugly girl now, and the world is my oyster. HAHA!!!

[angelface78]

J,

 

I never thought i would see the day that we would end up this way. You with her.. a total stranger. What does she have over me??? Why her??? Did you lose all feelings for me??? How??? I know you loved me...5 years is not something you just sweep under the rug. The holidays are coming J and they are gonna f*** me up!!! Thanksgiving and 5 Christmas' with you and your family...our anniversary in December, we were supposed to set a date to get married in December...(but i guess it was all bull****) New years without you!!! Remember our first New years together. We spent the night together. I remember looking out the window and seeing all the lights. We had a good time...if only i knew then what i know now!!! I wouldve ran away sooo quickly. You have caused me tremendous pain!!! I dont think i have ever been in so much pain in my entire life!!! I dont know why??? I guess i never thought someone was capable of inflicting such deliberate pain on someone they were with for so long!! I cant believe you did it to me!! How could you??? Youre a f***** bastard for what you did to me. Its like you spit in my face or stabbed me in the back!!! I could never hurt you like that J. Where the f*** did all the love go???? WHERE J??? Its bull**** ...that you dont love me anymore!!! Dammit i gave you sooo much!!! I gave you 5 years!!! We cried and laughed together...i was your girl...and now im just a f***** stranger??? How could you be so heartless. I f***** hate you!!!! I hope you regrett this someday and when that day comes i hope i dont give a damn anymore. I hope my heart belongs to someone else by then!! Youre a f***** hypocrit J...everything you claimed to not like is what you now have. Youre f***** trash.....you like trash and you are trash!!! I was always too good for you..in every imaginable way. Stay with your iliterate little girl!! She is at your f***** level!!! I pray to God i will someday recover from this agony and see you for what you are!!! A ****IN LOSER!!!!

Edited November 7, 2009 by angelface78

[JaggedRoad]

Greetings, old friend.

 

How have you been lately? I hope you're doing well. You better not be slacking off on course work.

 

I really miss you. I'm really saddened by the way things ended and the way I behaved. The last 14 months has been really hard for me. I'm sure you were aware, but I don't think you really knew how hard it was for me. You shouldn't have known anyway because I didn't want you to know how much I was struggling.

 

Exhaustion and depression took complete control over me when I came back to the states last August. I desperately wanted to be with you again. My thoughts, worries, and obligations took a toll on my mind and body. You are well aware of my relapse into illness last year. I can't tell you how I spent many sleepless nights thinking about you. Those were the good nights. The constant coughing and nasal drips threw me into a world of misery. Horrible thoughts flooded my mind and there were times when I nearly gave in. I hated my body; I hated how weak it was and how easy it was to succumb to illness. I wanted to end my life countless times to lift the burden from you and everyone else. I knew how difficult it was for you and my family to constantly worry about my health. But I knew ending my life wasn't the answer. It would have been harder for you if that happened, so I fought my way out of those thoughts. You gave me strength.

 

My performance in school was rapidly declining. I couldn't keep my focus, so I did the worse thing possible: I stopped caring. I did not put any effort into studying. I seldom spoke of my days in school and the course work because I didn't want to let you know that I was giving up. I filled the time I should have spent on studying with other things. I'm ashamed of what I did. I felt hopeless when I shouldn't have.

 

When the semester ended, I spent so much time sleeping because I didn't want to wake up. I wanted to rest and not have to deal with life. I was deep into depression. You were aware and you hated the way I was behaving. It was hard for me to talk to you then because I knew I was slowly deteriorating. I knew I was no longer the person you fell in love with. That's why I was quite for the longest time. I didn't know what to say. I was afraid--terrified. Instead of taking action, I was hoping things would just pass and get better. This way of thinking didn't stop until late March. Things got better and I was slowly regaining my strength, but I got used to being in my shell.

 

It was only when you were on vacation when I realized that I should open up again. I was so eager for you to return to England, so we could catch up on things and improve our relationship. But things happened when you were away. My mother was assaulted. I woke up to her wailing outside the house. It was horrible. She was bruised and covered in dirt. My grandfather made it worse by yelling at her. It wasn't her fault, but he yelled at her. I was furious, but I didn't know how to react. I shoved my anger to the side and did whatever I could to help with the situation. Was I wrong to be angry? It wasn't me who was assaulted, but I was filled with so much hatred and I still am.

 

I desperately wanted to reach out to you, but I was afraid. You were on vacation and I didn't know what to do. You asked me that day if I was ok, as if you were aware something was not right. But instead of telling you the truth, I told you that I was ok. I hated myself for saying that, but I thought it was the right thing to do. I still don't know what to do, but maybe this is a start.

 

I've said this so many times already, but my writing is horrible now. It's filled with so many references to myself. Every other sentence starts with I. I did this, I did that, this happened to me, my fault, et cetera. I hate the way I'm writing now, but I know this is just a consequence of writing so many papers over the years. This is my release from useless rhetoric that I've been so used to. This is the time for me to do things for myself. I'm sorry things between us ended the way the did, but thank you for giving me this opportunity to live my life.

[deux ex machina]

^

You made me cry...

 

I am so sorry for everything you went through.

 

((JaggedRoad))

[Nikki Sahagin]

I'm really tempted to check your facebook right now.

 

As time passes it gets easier, and in some ways harder. It becomes more final and sometimes I find myself wallowing in self-pity and 'why me's? and looking at others in 'happy' relationships and feeling envious because I remember once thinking our chemistry was more extreme than anyones...especially all the lacklustre couples I see around us. People used to comment on the kick we had when we were together. I can't believe thats over now and all these mediocre, vanilla couples have made it and not us...after all we've been through together; all the hurt and pain and tears and hugs and laughter - I thought that had bonded us through thick and thin. Into the fire together...out of it together.

 

I miss you at the moment and I don't know how I can fall in love with anyone else yet...or if I ever will. I hope so...but then you were the first everything and I feel thats cheapened by the fact that I will kiss and sleep with other people. If only I wasn't so damn idealistic.

 

I don't get still why you walked away from us. Do you miss me? Do you still love me? Do you regret leaving? Do you think about me? Do you want to contact me but stop yourself? Or are you happy now, moved on now, have you slept with someone or kissed someone or are dating someone? I miss my buddy, I miss my boyfriend, I miss what we COULD have been and what we once were, not what we became. You'll always be a sore subject, the ache is still there sometimes and when it hits, sometimes I think i'm not getting over you, just repressing you, because thats all we can all do right? Ignore the thoughts, focus on something else, push the memory away when it resurfaces...I wonder if somewhere i'm repressing you....I hope not.....I hope my heart can move on...sometimes wish it wasn't so damn loyal, tenacious and stubborn because I still held on a long while after you gave up. Even not being with you, my heart still recognises its own - you. I hope in time that fades...and then I hope it doesn't too...because its sad that love can die.

 

I hope deep down still, you realise you love me and i'm the one and come back and mean it. But I know probably...you won't feel that way, you won't prove it...or you won't come back even if you want to.

 

I guess I just hope...for the BEST for me. If that includes you or doesn't.

God, Fate, Me, angels, whatever....please just make me okay.

[ditched]

i miss my teammate.

[lilbelle]

I miss you terribly. I can't seem to let you go. I think about you and the great times we shared. The fun we had. The way you made all the negative leave and brought so much positive in. The way you held me, the passionate kisses we had. The hugs, the way you would watch me from across a room. I can't understand why you want to let go of something so great. I am heartbroke and hurting bad. I want you back. I'm trying to take care of myself and I'm having a difficult time. I feel like you don't care at all. Why did you come back to me? I miss you and I'm praying that you will come back to me.

[affairshipper]

You said you didn't want to hurt me, but I'm hurting now. You're on my mind day and night, and I shouldn't feel this way. You lied to me, and I went along with your deception. Now, I'm left hurting without closure since you decided to stop commiunication. Yes, you didn't hurt me, I let you hurt me.