onewillburn Posted December 25, 2009 Share Posted December 25, 2009 What is this going to push me towards? Whenever I cave and think about everything you said versus everything that actually happened I feel this strange pain. Like something ancient within me is awoken and all of these strange ideas come together. This break up has resulted in a lot of changes in me, but where will it take me? I'm obviously more of a romantic than you, and I mean that in the traditional sense of the word "romantic", as in the depraved, free-spirit type. I have the brains to do anything I want, and the drive to do anything. I have all of these paths toward a free life, through certain friends, through certain ideas. How will I put this all together? I want to put an end to the negative energy I feel when I think of you, too. It can't really do much good, can it? I guess more time is all that will remedy that. I don't want to go crazy thinking about how everything happened. I always pity myself without realizing it, framing the story so that I'm this hapless victim who has been left behind. I do feel that way, though. I know I shouldn't. More and more I feel like I'm part of some bigger, horrible story. But I want to realize those feelings and hopefully they'll develop into something that makes more sense. I have some thinking to do. Link to post Share on other sites
jjaded1 Posted December 25, 2009 Share Posted December 25, 2009 Thanks for ur very condescending(do u even know what that means?) 'Merry Xmas' text. Thanks for trying to make me feel guilty for not helping u to get home when I know from other people u are already there. Nice try. I won't dignify your text with a response. This display of maturity has helped me tenfold in getting over you now. I have realized fully how you have changed so much over the last 2 years and truly are not the man I fell in love with. I'm seeing everything so clearly now and while I am sad that it didn't work out the way I thought, I will move on, learn from this and come out better for having experienced it all. So, thanks for showing me who you have become one last time. It was just what I needed at just the right time. Link to post Share on other sites
nobmagnet Posted December 25, 2009 Share Posted December 25, 2009 lowlyworm, take very good care of our kids.protect them from your parents.PLEASE you mightnot have noticed but..............****! last chance. Red card is in my pocket. im nice. i dont want to use it. bitch mother from hell. Link to post Share on other sites
AliveAndKicking Posted December 26, 2009 Share Posted December 26, 2009 Merry Christmas Link to post Share on other sites
amilyah Posted December 26, 2009 Share Posted December 26, 2009 Look you low life *******,How was your Chrismas?Mine was awsome see i lost lots of weight,died my hair ,and look hotter than ive ever looked before.But guess what youll never be able to touch this again.you threw me away and now im ****ing your best friend(lol really not).But would love to tell him that. Link to post Share on other sites
carolinawanderer Posted December 26, 2009 Share Posted December 26, 2009 M, Guess what? You had me all wrong. I'm tired of hearing "you can't." You thought I couldn't improve upon my moodiness and my so-called negativity. I did. You thought I couldn't embrace your interests. I did that too. Imagine me without the faults you disliked so much. I can and would have been that person had you stayed. If that's still not the person you wanted, I accept that. Believe it or not, I love life. I'm sorry I was stressed out for a while. I'm sorry I burdened you with it. But do you remember all the times we had before that? I think I was a pretty damn good boyfriend. I showed you so much love and I wanted nothing more than for you to be happy. I know my own life got in the way sometimes. I know I had my moments. But my life with you was the best thing ever. But even without you, I'll be happy. I'll find someone better. And you actually have the gall to call me "immature?" And say I'm "miserable" because I wasn't in the best mood for a while? Let me tell you something. At least I listened. I was mature enough to listen to your concerns, mature enough to take your concerns to heart, and mature enough and MAN enough to try to better myself! It's a shame you could not recognize that. No one is perfect. But many people are so stubborn, they can't recognize their faults and blow off what their partner wants. Consider yourself lucky I wasn't one of those people. I am sorry I could not be everything you wanted. I'm always here to reconcile...because despite the fact you ripped my heart out and stomped on it, I love you more than anything, still. Because when I said "I love you," and "I'll love you forever," I truly meant it. That's what love is. But I don't expect you to come back. Have a nice life. --J Link to post Share on other sites
HEG Posted December 26, 2009 Share Posted December 26, 2009 (edited) Happy holidays to you. Edited December 26, 2009 by HEG Link to post Share on other sites
HEG Posted December 28, 2009 Share Posted December 28, 2009 I feel like the world's biggest fool right about now. I'm sorry I intruded on your space. You can have it back. I have been weak and I am going to attribute it to the holidays. Can I have my dignity back, please? Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki Sahagin Posted January 2, 2010 Share Posted January 2, 2010 I don't know how you got under my skin. I don't know I let you. I don't know why this hurts so much. I don't know I keep letting it hurt. I don't know how my eyes have so many tears. I don't know how I can keep on crying. I don't know why the light in life's gone out and I just want to kill myself. I don't know why I slept with you or why I stayed. I don't know what i'm feeling or thinking. Nothing makes sense. Nothing is real. I am numb and under the surface there are loads of crazy emotions i'm scared to confront. All I want to do is run away. Although I know I can never out-run this. I just want to hide. Though I know i'll rot away if I hide. I don't understand what this pain is. But it hurts so much. You hurt so much. My hearts so broken the pieces cut me when I move. I don't understand you. I don't understand me. Craziest of all, I don't even know if I want you. There's so much hate and mistrust and anger and hurt in me now. I don't know, I don't know, i'll never know. Just wish God out there would take my pain. Please take my pain. Link to post Share on other sites
lostboyuk Posted January 2, 2010 Share Posted January 2, 2010 Who the hell do you think you are? running around telling me you haven't done anything wrong, left me, came back, promised everything would be ok.......3 weeks later, left me alone at Christmas, dumped me on the phone 2 days after Christmas, don't call me, take things from our home while I'm not there, then........take my my favourite Tshirt unwashed that smells of me, come home becuase you think I'm not there because you're unhappy living where you are, then cry all over me. You tell me you don't feel the same anymore, I do because I can see passed the nose on the end of my face! Who the hell do you think you are?.........the woman I love more than anything of course. Link to post Share on other sites
sugahoney Posted January 2, 2010 Share Posted January 2, 2010 Tonight is going to be a rough night I will have to sit at the same table as you for a few hours and pretend I am ok. This will be the first time since you broke my heart again that I will have to see you face to face. I really dont know if I can handle it. Link to post Share on other sites
Brightmoon Posted January 2, 2010 Share Posted January 2, 2010 Miss you very much indeed. Link to post Share on other sites
sedgwick Posted January 2, 2010 Share Posted January 2, 2010 Happy new year, Joe. It's been 2.5 years since I've seen you and I still love you unconditionally, always, for exactly who you are. My heart belongs to you now and forever. In my dreams, we see each other again someday, but in reality I face another year of loving your ghost. I tell you every morning that I love you, and I tell you again at night before I fall asleep. I am so sorry I wasn't good enough for you and hope (if you even remember me) that you will someday forgive me. The thing I wish most in the world (other than that we could get back together) is that in 2010 you would just acknowledge having hurt me. An apology for hurting me would be amazing, but even just to know that you remember me would be great too. I love you always, with all my heart, and hope sometimes you can feel all the love that is out there in the universe for you. You are a beautiful, amazing human being; I've never met anyone like you and I never will again. Play lots of music, my love, and bring others the happiness you bring. I would do anything in the world just to hear you play one more time. Link to post Share on other sites
almostpassedit Posted January 3, 2010 Share Posted January 3, 2010 sarah, its really hard to remember your face. its like my mind is moving in another direction, like its putting the past behind me, its almost like you never existed. its so weird, i think i'm finialy moving on. i waited for you a long time, almost two years, u never came back. you mess me up in life. its hard to remember now, my mind is blocking you completely now. i wanted to marry you, i don't know why you did what you did. we can't even be friends or talk anymore, i will never contact you. your stupid. Link to post Share on other sites
4givrnt4gtr Posted January 3, 2010 Share Posted January 3, 2010 Happy New Year Darling. I love you. I might do so for a while. I wish that would make you happy. Someone loves you regardless of anything you think you are or arent or confusion you may have. Funny how that works...you feel so lonely and Im dying for you to step up so I can make it go away. But its all on you baby....and I know thats gonna take a while..if ever. Oh well. Dont be too sad....at least someone loves you and wishes you the world and ridiculous amounts of happiness despite it all for this year. If only you knew that and cared... Link to post Share on other sites
drew86 Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 Hi K I hate and love you at the same time. You put me through 3 months of agony, all because you met somebody else and wouldn't admit that you wanted to break up with me to be with him. Well, guess what... In the end you still ended up sleeping with him so you should have just been honest with me eh? My favourite part is how you said "when you come home for the holidays we should hang out every day so we can work on getting back to being the best couple ever"... and then when I got home, you flaked out on me and started f---ing this guy you kept promising me was just a "friend". So in summary, F YOU. You were always so insanely jealous of when other girls talked to me. Yet you expected me to sit around while you went to that guys soccer games, his house parties, and to the bars with him...right after we broke up? And that I would be ok with it? I gave you so many chances during our relationship when big red flags popped up. I guess it was naive of me to think you would give me 1. There is no way you loved me as much as you said you did if that's all it took for you to leave me. All the times you talked about getting married (while we were broken up)? You hurt me so badly and you don't even care. So whatever, Karma's a b----, I deserve so much better than you. Link to post Share on other sites
bananaboat11 Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 To my ex - Hope things are well. Clearly, I am going against everything that is defined by the unwritten rules of companionship, dating, and friendship. Maybe I'm crazy? maybe I care? perhaps I got attached. I will honestly never know. What I do know is that at one point in my life, I was happy? from the moment I met you. Despite all the heated arguments we may have shared I did enjoy whatever time I had spent with you. You made a choice and I failed to respect it, at first. I?ve lost count of how long it's been.. I can't change whatever may have been before me? and I do not hold anything that was between us, whatever it may have been, against you. We are. By no means do I wish to exonerate myself, but I am anything but the typical guy. Here and there, thoughts of you race across my mind. Like any breakup, it?s always pick up the pieces and move on. And I have no other choice? but yet again, you were once a part of my life? and whether you choose to acknowledge it, I was yours. As closed off as you may have kept me - I hope you remember the little bit of good we shared and keep out all the rest. Sometimes it's easier to let go and never look back, but I do not want to. We shared something? regardless of the degree and level of the connection. We are both mature adults and I am hoping one day, we may reconnect on a platonic level and at least maintain an acquaintanceship at the very least. I am not one to loathe, despise or let hatred and pain dwell deep within. I guess I've nothing less to lose than ask this of you. And all I can do is hope you come to terms and forgive and forget. Call me selfish, but if you?re happy now, then I am. Just.. don't resent me? I've never been perfect and neither have you. Thanks. -Me Link to post Share on other sites
doushenka Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 Dear T, You were right. Look after him for me. C. Link to post Share on other sites
DustySaltus Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. To have the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. I can't change you. You can't change you, because you refuse to. I just hope you eventually learn that you need serious help. Because depsite all the terrible things that led to the demise of our relationship, I will always love you and do want you to get better. Not for me, for you. Link to post Share on other sites
angelface78 Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 J, Its been a long time. Its a new year and i dont know wether to say happy new year. The truth is you dont deserve me wishing you a happy anything. However this is not why im writing to you. J i am finally moving on from you. I dont think of you as much and i have a bf now. Hes great J. You know because of you and all the pain you caused me i was treating him like crap!! Ive hurt him and i dont want to do that anymore. He has been there for me...and he doesnt deserve it!! Im going to treat him like gold J because hes worth more than that! You..i dont know how your life is. All i know is that with him i feel safe and i never felt that w you. Its a new year J and im very excited im going to get a lot of things done and someday you will see what i was made of. YOU COULDNT AND DIDNT DESTROY ME!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
amilyah Posted January 4, 2010 Share Posted January 4, 2010 Well guess what x.I know i love you and part of me always will.But guess what im over you i dont even want you back anymore.Maybe its because ive never had a single life.And now i am getting so much attention from other guys.So thank you for leaving me babe.I love me now.I love who ive become.Lost weight,changed hair color.damn i look good now and im loving it.Just wish you could see me.See what you cant have anymore.You said you loved me for 20 years.I wonder how many of them did you really love me for.I wonder did i really love you,because its only been not even 2 months since you left and im over it.I dont hate you anymore.I acually hope you are happy with her.I do hate the fact you didnt have the guts to tell me the truth.I hate that you left me with all the bills and havent even called to say your sorry.Your the one that wouldnt let me work and you know i cant pay the bills.But i guess you knew my parents would step in and pay.Its not fair you did this **** to me.Your not the man i thought you were.SO nevermind i dont want you to be happy.I want you to have to pay.I want your brand new truck to break down.I want your dick to fall off.I want your new girl to cheat on you.Damn maybe im not over this **** yet.Im over you just not the **** youve done to me i guess. Link to post Share on other sites
Sinensis Posted January 5, 2010 Share Posted January 5, 2010 I'm supposed to go out of town tomorrow. I want to stay in town and just rest for a bit, but mostly I want to be here so I know I could go to your place if I wanted to, and be held. Except common sense says that's the stupidest thing I could do. But I tend to distrust common sense. It's so easy to understand why you are the way you are, I just can't live with someone like that as my romantic partner. I can't be put through the constant yoyoing and distance. It hurts me too much. I get panicky sometimes. Of all the times we've broken up (shouldn't that clue me in?), this is the first time I've done it. And I feel that makes it more permanent. Which is terrifying. I have a hard time believing I'll find someone else. I miss you. I want to be held. Link to post Share on other sites
Blueberry7691 Posted January 5, 2010 Share Posted January 5, 2010 I know I hurt you and I'm sorry for that but you know it's the best thing for both of us. I almost felt like picking up the phone and calling u but what for? I need to deal with my emotions alone and not run to you with it. That won't help you, will it? I'm sure we'll run into each other one day. Of course, I'll say hi. I don't hate you. I just want to move past this. Link to post Share on other sites
Fitness Dude Posted January 6, 2010 Share Posted January 6, 2010 I've thought about you so much the last few days. I'd love to speak to you but know I can't and it kills me inside. I want you to know, that no matter what I'll always love you. As time passes and we drift further apart I understand just how delicate relationships can be. I should have done a better job of protecting it, making it safe from doubt. I want you to know that even knowing what I know now, understanding that I would have to endure all this pain over again, I would still fall in love with you again and do this all over again. You mean the world to me, in ways I never got to show you. Link to post Share on other sites
Blueberry7691 Posted January 6, 2010 Share Posted January 6, 2010 Hi. I'm wondering how you're feeling. I shouldn't really care, right? I need to get on with my own life. And i REALLY want to and I will!!!! I didn't miss you at all the first 3 weeks. I was sooo happy to be set free!! WOO HOO LUCKY ME!!! Today makes 4 weeks from the day I broke up with you! But the past few days have been different. I feel like.. I don't know. An emptiness.Ugh! WTF!! I look at your stupid FB pix and I say 'Ew..Wtf did I see in you??!!' and to think once I was madly in love with you and thought you were the best!! Was I on drugs then? I'm sorry... at least I know you won't be reading this but.. I don't know. Not sure if I miss you really. Maybe it's the sense of loss I feel that I'm dealing with and now I have to find something to fill that void in me. Been going to the gym.. and I'm feeling good about it. I need too!! I ate and drank my way to gaining weight bc I said F it!! But now it's time to do the right thing for me!!! I gotta move forward. I have to leave you behind. I feel bad you know. We did have a connection. We got along soo well. We were great friends. Like i said, I hope when I see you in 6 months, I see you and only think of you as someone I care about.That's it. No longing..no missing you. It's time I move on dude!! GET OUT OF MY F ING HEAD ALREADY!!! Do what you gotta do. Don't expect me to contact you bc even though I feel like it, I'm not going too!!! Do you understand that at all??? I NEED TO LIVE MY LIFE WITHOUT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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