Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[teanoranges]

u,

 

hey, how have you been? I miss talking to you and brainstorming so much crazy information.

I hope your life has been good.

 

I'm sorry if I made you feel so confined, and if I really did seem to hold you back from being happy in your life... that was never my intention.

 

I think about you so much. I hope she's good to you.

 

God, I miss you.

 

-Teanoranges

[Blueberry7691]

Hi!!

I'm feeling sooo good today!!!!:)

 

I hope this feeling lasts... Although I still feel bad for hurting you but you know I had no choice!!! It was an unhealthy relationship. I forgot to say that to you. You'd probably look at me like I had 10 heads. Unhealthy?? How?

 

I'm sure in time you're going to see it was the best thing for us.

 

You'll be okay. Just stop thinking so much!!

[ginyi1111]

I don’t know what am I doing writing to you

Maybe this is my way of saying goodbye to the person that I have truly loved because I feel I never had the chance to

For these past weeks I have struggled with myself to not contact you, to let you live the life the way that you want to

I wanted to tell you how much I Ioved you, to plead with you not to throw our relationship away, to convince you there is a way for us to work it out. That I have found a solution to be together.

 

But it is all pointless. Because you have made the decision that this is over. I have told you before, not only that I love you above all things I respect you.

I respect the decision that you have made. Because I cannot force you to love me, to stay with me, to build your future with me…no matter how much I wanted it.

By telling you how I have been suffering these few weeks and to remind you that I love you and to bring up our happy memories together would just be an emotional blackmail to you. To try to guilt you to coming back to me.

 

I understand a clean break is the best way for both of us to move forward but I cannot help but feel disappointed and sad the way you are treating me.

I never imagined you have it in you to be this cruel to me, and I don’t mean you’re cruel by breaking up with me. You’re so cruel to just get up and leave and discard me like trash. Now no one wants pity but it took my breath away that it seems like I never really knew you at all.

 

But I do know that I am not the one for you. I am not the one that can make you happy. I am not the one that can make you forget your painful past. I am not the one that you want to have by your side. I am not the one to fill your life with love and laughter and all the bright shiny things.

 

And with that I know you will be happier without me. And that is all I need to know to move on in my life.

Edited January 7, 2010 by ginyi1111

[gaudi]

Babe .......it kills me to say this........but .............F*CK U !!!!!!

[myhearthurtsbadly]

giny you just made me cry, yet another post that explains exactly how i feel. However im gonna post my angry one because i feel like it!

 

A month after you broke my heart and slept with someone else to ease your pain i have realised what i was to you.

Remember before i met you you were belemic? I still remember you refusing to let me see your legs during sex, you would always cover them up and say "dont look at them". Do you remember how i responded, do you remember me one day gently holding your arms and taking off the covers, looking at your legs and telling you they were beautiful? Do you f****** remember that sophie? Do you remember how for a year and a half how i built up your ego so you felt good about yourself. And what did you do? How did you use my help? What you did was to wait until you felt strong and powerful and attractive again, whilst this was happening i was becoming less attractrive to you because i let you know me and to you that is far less exciting than sleeping with a random boy isnt it? You have no idea the pain you have caused, i wanted to throw myself off a cliff, so strong were the feelings of betrayal. Right now i absolutely despise you, it insults me that i tried to reconcile with you so we could move forward as friends. You are a cheap hoar and to be frank you disgust me, even if you came back begging and apologising i would kick you to the kerb so hard you wouldnt know what hit you. Do you know that i would have loved you forever? Do you know that if you were made paralysed in an accident i would have looked after you everyday for the rest of your life? You are so selfish and manipulative and its so ironic that im the only one who really knows you. Im disgusted that you were my first love, i wasted it, something i can never take back, i hate you for that. You robbed me of something so incredibly personal and theres no way in the world i can have it back.

 

Yes im crying when i write this, do you want to laugh at me some more, like you did when i called you crying and you told me i was pathetic? Im gonna save this on my computer so i am reminded of how i really feel about you when i take you off the pedestal i put you on. One more thing and something you said that hurt me so deeply, but im laughing now. You said you wouldnt even notice me in a club because you dont fancy me. Just to let you know i was just offered a modelling contract from one of the biggest agencies in the world, so they obviously think im attractive. Interestingly one of my girl friends (who incidentally is twice as beautiful as you) said to me yesterday that i can do better yet you can only do worse, worse in every single way. Wave goodbye to your dream. Very soon you will realise what you gave up although i really hope you dont so i never have to speak to you again. Yes i miss you, but im damned if i want you. So go on p*ss off.

[ms.ac]

T,

I hate you for doing this to me, you ruined my heart. I loved you sooo much and you knew that. You knew my past and you knew my worst fears and you made them come true. WHY DO I MISS YOU, WHY DO I WANT TO CALL YOU AND SEE HOW YOU ARE? I want you to be the person I knew. I dont know you anymore. why would you lie to me, why would you come back tell me you loved me, wanted to be with me, but wanted time by yourself for a while when you had someone else?? why would you bring me into your house, in front of your mother again, in front of your family who i love, tell me i was the love of your life and make jokes about things we wanted together. Why would you do this to me? Let me take the chance of getting pregnant while you were with someone behind my back.. You hurt me so much, and you dont even care, you laughed in my face when you told me you had a new girlfriend.. your a piece of sh*t.. I hate you for telling me I would never be happy because my dad cheated on my mother, I hate you for telling me this other girl was better than me and that she was everything im not.. I hate you for throwing it in my face that you bought her all expensive things, and went on vacation with her and did a bunch of stuff you never did with me, why would you want to hurt me like this, after 5 YEARS?? What did I do to you? I loved you.. with all my heart. Just 4 months ago you were telling everyone you loved me and wanted to marry me. What is going on? What has happened to my life.. after everything you have put me through why am i the one who misses you so much, why do i want to have you back??

 

How could you throw me away like i was nothing and find someone else?? How could you put her in my place and make sure i felt the worse I could about it. You told me she knew you were talking to me too and that i might be pregnant and she didnt care and if i was i was on my own and it would suck for me... who says that you were with me for 5 years.. how could you pick her over me...

 

she is older, divorced, has a kid... she is ugly! You lied to me and told me she was a girl that liked you but she was nothing compared to me.. you lied so much about her...

 

I hate hearing about her from other ppl that tell me she is ugly, a horrible person, and does drugs!! why would you leave ME for someone like THAT?? Now Im worried your doing drugs too... why why do i care!!! I love you with all my heart, you took my heart and you took your family from me, she sleeps beside you, you kiss her.. what the hell is going on, what happened to us, what happened to our future... I hate that i dont hate you.. I hate that I care about you...

 

My biggest wish is for you to regret everything you have done, I wait for your number to show up on my phone so i can know you regret it.. and then not answer.. but i know you will never call.. My heart is in so much pain.. someone take it away... I dont know if I can be with someone else because you took my trust from me... for a wh*re,, for a horrible person that you should be embarrassed to be with....

 

I HATE YOU,,, BUT I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU...

[ginyi1111]

giny you just made me cry, yet another post that explains exactly how i feel. However im gonna post my angry one because i feel like it!

 

Thank you for MYHB for this. It is good to know that I am not the only one that is feeling crap like this and at least it evokes some emotion because that is how I truly feel. Doubt it will make any difference to the ex tho..

 

Im gonna save this on my computer so i am reminded of how i really feel about you when i take you off the pedestal i put you on. One more thing and something you said that hurt me so deeply, but im laughing now. You said you wouldnt even notice me in a club because you dont fancy me. Just to let you know i was just offered a modelling contract from one of the biggest agencies in the world, so they obviously think im attractive. Interestingly one of my girl friends (who incidentally is twice as beautiful as you) said to me yesterday that i can do better yet you can only do worse, worse in every single way. Wave goodbye to your dream. Very soon you will realise what you gave up although i really hope you dont so i never have to speak to you again. Yes i miss you, but im damned if i want you. So go on p*ss off.

 

You are HOT! Dont waste time over some silly little b*tch that will ever put you down like that. You have a lot going on for you and you will find better girls than her when you are plastered all over billboards and magazine ads.

[Blueberry7691]

Helloooooo:D

Well bf, I'm feeling really good!! You probably don't want to know that but F it!! You're not gonna read this so I can write anything I want!!

 

I'm feeling good. Yeah, I was upset at the loss and all BUT, I've realized it's NOT YOU, I miss, It's NOT the RELATIONSHIP I missed!! Heck NO!!!

I care about you... BUT I'm NOT in love with you!!! Nope! I feel good. I'm moving on...

 

Feels great and I hope I stay this way. So please...don't contact me bc u will be disappointed. I'm sure you'll be calling me in March but whatever. I will be indifferent then.

 

Have a good life...WITHOUT ME!!

[bananaboat11]

Baby - do yourself a favor... block me on FB again. I won't let you bring me down again.

 

these passive mind games you're playing are working, but you don't know it... and you NEVER will. You're a heartless bitch... leaving me after you told me for the first time (after 4 months) you loved me... only to **** your ex boyfriend the night you go home the day we get back together and fall in love with him again and leave me / dump me over FACEBOOK the very next day. You went out of your way to make it known you didn't care about me... (whether it's true or not) and that I was only a sexual comfort for you while you were in a 'bad' place...

 

..that doesn't feel good. And if you really do miss me and are slowly working up the courage to contact me again.. DON'T. Save yourself the trouble. If you do - I will block you. I know you've unblocked me. I saw on RM's FB page. Your friend JL is a whore and not CLASSEIGH.. you're almost 24. That girl is almost 21 and immature. Have some respect for yourself... think for yourself. Grow up. You're a spoiled rich girl.

 

I was infatuated with you. You were infatuated with my body and my penis.

 

Save yourself the time... b/c even if I'm pretending to forget you now, I'm being selfish for once. Our relationship was always YOU, YOU, YOU.. and I gave you everything you wanted.. everything you yelled at me about... well now .. I'm yelling (even if t's online). I can do better than you... I have and I will again!

 

You have NO RESPECT for yourself. I AM A FOOL TO HAVE EVER FALLEN FOR YOU.

 

ARGH!

 

GET OUT OF MY HEAD. YOU ARE NOT WORTH MY TIME. I AM GOING PLACES IN LIFE. And I will meet a woman I am worthy of and she is worthy of me... that happiness everyone hopes for.. I know I will find it. You never will b/c you're not happy with yourself.

 

You love me. I know you do... but you are a low self esteem girl who doesn't know how to cope with a good thing.. go back to your cheating ex boyfriend.. I don't give a fck. I was too good for you and would NEVER have contemplated undressing another woman when I was with you.

 

Goodbye forever N. The moment you contact me... and break this 3 month NC... which I expect you will by NC month 5-6... you will be blocked.

 

I am pretending now so that I will forget you.

 

don't come back, please... for both our sakes.

 

Love always,

 

me.

[myhearthurtsbadly]

Blueberry am i right that you broke up with your boyfriend? Did he do anything such as being abusive or cheating? If not then i cant help but feel you are being a little heartless advertising your happiness when he probably feels like sh*t. You need to be happy, but if he is the innocent party and is merely a victim of you falling out of love with him then show him the respect not to stand on the rooftops and scream how happy you are without him. Thats not nice.

[bananaboat11]

Helloooooo:D

Well bf, I'm feeling really good!! You probably don't want to know that but F it!! You're not gonna read this so I can write anything I want!!

 

I'm feeling good. Yeah, I was upset at the loss and all BUT, I've realized it's NOT YOU, I miss, It's NOT the RELATIONSHIP I missed!! Heck NO!!!

I care about you... BUT I'm NOT in love with you!!! Nope! I feel good. I'm moving on...

 

Feels great and I hope I stay this way. So please...don't contact me bc u will be disappointed. I'm sure you'll be calling me in March but whatever. I will be indifferent then.

 

Have a good life...WITHOUT ME!!

 

 

Do the initials NLL mean anything to you?

[LovelyDaze]

Hey there!

 

I know your fighting for the US over there in Afghanistan. Hope your safe. But you know what I hope? That you get your head together and grow up. You are in your 30s, why are you stringing an 18 year old girl along?

 

You told me that you KNOW she and you won't work out. You asked me to wait until January 2011 for you to return so we can start again. Are you that big of a d***? Why do you think you are such a great catch that I will sit on my porch for the next 350ish days waiting for an idiot like you????

 

Marry her, that's right! I said it!! MARRY HER! You don't want kids with her you say? She does! You don't want to let me go you say? I'm gone, Jack! You don't want her to keep texting and calling you 50x a day? She will!

 

Enjoy coming home to the drama you say you didn't want in your life, enjoy having a clingy, smothering prepubescent wife that you say you didn't ask to marry you in the first place. Ha...at 17, SHE asks you to marry her! LOL.

 

You have the smallest of cojones, and the weakest of spirit and the lowest of self esteem. You taught me to be strong. To be brave. To be confident. To know that I AM worth more than miserable crumbs.

 

Thanks a mil for giving my life back...you will never ever get the chance to hurt me again!

[amilyah]

Well goodbye the love of my life.I know we was together 20 years and it was the best 20 years of my life.I know you left me for her and really dont know why,You said you loved me and never wanted to lose me and that was just a week before you walked out the door.I did everything for you.I hope shes taking care of you like i did.Because see dont matter how much you hurt me i do want you to be happy.I know i will love you forever,but i will never forgive you.So when you wake one day and say, i want my wife back,dont bother.Even if i did want you back i know it wouldnt work. and i do want you back.But i know i would make both of our lives miserable.BEcause i would always be asking where your at and what your doing.I would not be able to trust you ever.I really dont know how im gonna make it without you but i know i have to.I havent talked to you in 6 weeks and it is killing me.But guess what babe i am moving on.I have dated, even though im not ready to move on.I have a few men interested in me.But i will never call you again.And i dont ever want you to call me again.I dont ever want to see you again because i know when i do its gonna kill me.Im so scared to see you in court.But i have to file for this divorce.Being you left me with all your bills that you know i cant afford.You loved me for 20 years how could you leave me like this.Broke and having to pay everything.I guess you knew my parents would pay so i wouldnt lose our home.Oh and the boat my parents bought you i want it back.How stupid was we all.How could i be so ****ing stupid.And all the savings we had together you took and bought brand new truck.How could you be so heartless.Guess we let judge work that out.But no matter what i still love you and always will.I even dont know why.You did nothing for me.I ask you for something you say ok in a few.a year later still not done.But your family asked you for something you get right up and do it.I was always second.To your family and friends.Well guess what im tired of being second.

Im gonna be first from now on.Oh and hope your new girl is not spending all your money cause your gonna need a good lawyer.Still cant believe you left our nice home to go live in our camper with her.Well anyway i guess ill see you in court.I love you forever.Lol dont know why.

[Blueberry7691]

Blueberry am i right that you broke up with your boyfriend? Did he do anything such as being abusive or cheating? If not then i cant help but feel you are being a little heartless advertising your happiness when he probably feels like sh*t. You need to be happy, but if he is the innocent party and is merely a victim of you falling out of love with him then show him the respect not to stand on the rooftops and scream how happy you are without him. Thats not nice.[/QUOTE]

Yes, I broke up with him.

Yes, he cheated on me, lied to me, and was very manipulating.

He's NOT merely a victim of me falling out of love with him.

Also, this thread is so that we can say whatever we want without contacting our exes. It helps me to say how I actually feel. I was never mean to him, and would never say hurtful things to him even though he wasn't the person I thought he was or wanted.

It's just me venting.

I understand many of you are on the other side (the ones who got dumped) and so you find it hurtful to read what I post. I understand that. Try to understand my perspective. thx.

[Blueberry7691]

Do the initials NLL mean anything to you?

 

No. I don't know what NLL means.

[bananaboat11]

I wish she could see this...

 

 

You win, but I’ve made the most of all the sadness. You claim I was only a rebound, but I don’t believe this true. Regardless of everything that’s transpired… I hope you are happy. Yes, I was falling in love with you… and suddenly was removed entirely from your life. I will never understand, and can’t hope for reconciliation… it pained me to hear you tell me it meant nothing to me and end up being a bitch to me because you could. I can never be able to appease your sufferings; I can never exercise the demons from your past…

 

…you win. I didn’t think someone could be so cold.. so heartless, but if you wanted to know if you hurt me… Yes, you did. you may have your own reasons, but they will never include me. I should’ve taken my hearts advice and not written this… I am in repair now. It’s over. You made your point clear when I was your lover, no one else would do, but you got me crying as you seemed to want to do, but one day, I’ll find another you. Someone just as beautiful… just as smart… but hopefully a little more sincere and truthful about what she wants… and nicer too. Closure comes from within, but I never got to say goodbye.. and since I will not break the no contact… this is the best I will do. Thank you for reading this. Nicole, I almost love you.

...in my heart lie a special place. And you will never see it.

[McGrupp]

i was thinking about coming up there but i know that would be a bad idea.

 

besides making you uncomfortable it would be downright creepy and i dont really need a

restraining order

 

so...ill just type an email that you can trash and like we can both keep moving on.

 

i wish i could put into words how i messed up and what i did and how its so lame the way we ended.

 

we both had communication problems

 

 

i know it hasnt been that long. ive had a lot of time to self evaluate how i was acting and

what i believed

 

 

 

i did not listen to you and didnt respect your boundaries.

 

i was so afraid to lose you and then i did.

 

none of this was/is me but i take full responsibily. i just became so caught up in it all.

idk.

 

as i stepped away from all of this i realized how i acted, what i said. i just got back from california

for 6 weeks and how it was all just so sad the way it ended.

 

looking into the pacific i thought about all we had been through.

 

how we both worked so great together.

 

what we had was beautiful and pure

and it was ruined by a lack of communication. by stepping away i realized why i acted the way i did.

i just want to have fun with you again.

 

i learned a lot annd i know you can roll your eyes at this.

 

but i used this whole thing as a catalyst to change how i feel about everything

and to get my life on track for me.

 

and maybe that means walking away with my head up and to stop losing my self respect to you.

 

i know you want to find yourself, be alone...all that. im notsaying your wrong.

 

i just miss my girl. maybe your someone else's girl now.

 

well thats nice if your happy... but if your around lets talk.

 

not like old times but like new times. its cold without you.

 

i just want to have fun again with you.

 

----

[Blueberry7691]

Hi.

 

I almost texted you today. Glad i didn't.

 

I don't feel bitterness now and hopefully it won't come back. I feel good...I've accepted things for what they were at the time. And it's all okay. I don't harbor any bad feelings for you. I wish you well.

 

I know you will never forget me and will always think about me and us and what could've been. And I'm sure we'll run into each other one day and I know your heart will skip a beat.

 

As for me, I'm getting better. I'm dealing with my feelings as they come and trying to figure out what it is I want out of life.

 

I'm so grateful to be able to publish this without sending it to you. I'm feeling lighter every day.

take care.

[MississippiMama]

Happy New Decade.

So, you never answered my last question. It leaves it to me to decide on my own what part you now play in my life. What kind of garage band are we now? Are we just email acquaintances? (How are you? I'm fine. What's up? Nothing much. Da-dink da-dink da-dink.) I'm not playing anymore. It leaves me open to another JT sucker punch...like how you've found true love with some receptionist or grocery clerk or waitress you've been chatting up. Every time I see an email from you I feel that tug. It makes me happy and sad at the same time. I need to get to the point of indifference.

As for me, I've dated 2 different guys lately. Neither of those dates did I feel the immediate chemistry, connection or as comfortable as I felt with you. But I don't feel as comfortable with myself as I did 10 years ago...still working on the mojo thing and every new person and experience leads me a little further down that path. I'm embracing "moving on." (from the last conversation that we had before you cut off communication...you shouting at me to "MOVE ON!" before you hung up on me)

We tried for 10 years to form that garage band. Most of my major life decisions were based on that; investing in property with you; (I wanted a tangible "partnership" toward our future together) refinancing with this bad mortgage; (I only need 5 more years in this house. When it readjusts you and I will be moving on together) deciding to move to the mountains to be with you, what you always wanted, right?; (I don't know what disturbed you more, me moving there or marrying me) It comes down to...it's impossible to form any kind of a garage band with a "one man band."

This is more than you wanted to know, I'm sure. I can just hear you. (see, that's what's wrong with this chick! I ask her how the dog is and I get back some emotional manifesto!) That is, of course, the point. I tell you that I miss you...you tell me da-dink da-dink. I tell you that I'm having some kind of an identity crisis, feeling defined by your opinion of me, feeling disoriented (I remember helping you out once with all of that) and you answer back da-dink da-dink. I obviously can't be as impersonal about all of this as you. I can't join you on that fence that you seem to be sitting on as far as I'm concerned. I've been pretty accepting of that quality of yours in respect to everything else in your life because you have other qualities that I have always loved, and I never felt (even with the mountain of tangible evidence to the contrary) that you were on the fence about me. But I can't, won't, will never accept your being wishy-washy where I am concerned. Love me or hate me, man. Go strong or leave it alone.

I realize that I have invited some of this. I have written to you and called you just to maintain the minimal contact that we now have. I have missed you and read into your "shades of gray" stand that we might yet work something out. I can offer no more that I already have and can't see you making any offers yourself...just da-dink da-dink until the next sucker punch. Enough already!

As far as details about my personal situation; the loan, the dog, my health (not that you asked) I can't see sharing that with you anymore. Why would I give out details of my personal business to someone who isn't even comfortable enough with me to talk to me on the phone? (verizon to verizon is still free, by the way, even without the family plan) Your saying that "you still care about me" or that you are "still concerned with my welfare" may very well be true. It's hard to break a 10 year habit. I will probably always care about you, your life, your welfare, but I don't want it rammed in my face on a regular basis that that is all there is...care and concern when I was counting on the "love forever" thing. I need to get to the point of indifference first.

[dreamer84]

Jae

 

Im missing you like crazy...how could you do this to me? after everything i did for you...we had an amazing connection...and you just play me? say you never was attracted to me when you sent text, emails, phone saying otherwise? You know even if you weren't sure then or even telling the truth then...TELL THE TRUTH NOW...you write in your blog you just NEVER gave me signs and that i was just begging you to be mine, like thats all i constantly do...when you said you wanted me, you wanted to be mines, your heart was with me...tell them that...does that sound like someone who wasn't attracted to me? Man i loved you, i listened to you, I respected you. Hell if it was another situation, i would have spent a little money, ****ed, and never called...again. but know...i asked you once...what does it take to win your heart and you told me, honestly i dont know...but you got mad when you said I "painted" a picture of a woman who doesnt know what she wanted in love...excuse me but i stumbled across a ****ing face book quiz dated apr of 09 (this was in aug) and you were talking about how you missed and kiss your baby D...and at that time (in aug) you were loving you some R....now you loving DJ...(that you met in sept) what about tulips with that Jay chick? what about E? this was from sept 08-aug 09...but I painted a picture...i mean everything would be all fine and dandy if you were "dating" but you professing your undying love to them...D is the biggest reason why you came to live with me...(in july) o D was trippin because you started dating someone (yet again) and didnt tell you there was feelings until then...um hell anytyime you are sucking face with someone, and hinting that you hate scary movies and how you miss them blah blah blah there are going to be feelings...esp being LESBIAN...ugh...why am i in love with you? you are so stupid! instead of focusing on yourself when you got here with me, you trying to start an online relationship with someone who couldnt even afford to go to school, even the place they were staying an they were at home with mommy! and you...you making min wage...WTF were you thinking...when do you think you'd be able to visit or she visit you? cause obviously you'd have to take her to a hotel....omg i just cant understand....how can you say...A, i shall have you one day, know it ...to I never loved you...really? who said i love you first? who started thinking mind boggling thoughts? but you never loved me, no types of feelings...nah...i guess being unofficially offical wasn't any feelings...your friends telling you that we sh ould go ahead and get together...you telling me there is something there....WTF...really? tell them ****ers that....don't lie and say you've told me...you started telling me in aug (09) weve known one another since march 08....phone sexed...but never attracted to me...ok...but out of all of them i was there for you, i gave you my undivided attention, i checked on ou when you needed it, i gave you space when you needed it, i bought you food when you needed it, i bought you bras when you needed, i put money in your account so you wouldnt over draft when you needed it....jae you have a wonderful soul other wise...you'd make a great home maker and mother and once you figure out a great lover....you talk about me being stuck in the past you need to do the same,....im stuck because my brain cannot make sense of it...how do you go from being head over heels for me to just nothing....

 

 

im having a bad night

Edited January 12, 2010 by dreamer84

[Blueberry7691]

Hey,

I'm contacting you this way but I really wanted to text you today. Just when I thought this was a piece of cake, it isn't!!!

 

I don't even know what I want from you. Ugh!!! I'd like to hear you voice for a split second. After that, I don't know how much more I could take. There's nothing we could say that would make everything okay. This sucks big time!!!!

 

I know you want me to contact you. I KNOW you do and believe me, I want to. But then I think, it's going to make us go back to square one. I don't even understand my feelings. I don't even want you anymore. We were such good friends. Maybe that's what's bothering me. I don't know. I just want to scream. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

 

Why won't you contact me??? I know what you're gonna say. Because I told you, it was over, I was done. I know and it's soo true. But here I am, day after day, going through this f ing emotional rollarcoaster.

 

I can't wait for time to go by... hoping by month 6, I'll be free from this sadness and confusion.

 

We will always have something between us. Let's face it. We were in a relationship like no other. I guess it hurts. Yeah, I'm hurting now. But at the same time, I've accepted it. It's okay. It was, what it was and that's it.

 

You're probably thinking or wondering how I could even let you go so easily without a text, a call, a song... It hasn't been easy. My heart has ached too.

 

I have to stay strong. Talk to you soon, okay.

[JaneDoe35]

Stop calling me.

 

Stop texting me.

 

Stop asking how I am.

 

Stop asking me for money.

 

Stop saying you miss me.

 

Stop telling me that you love me.

 

Stop forgetting your daughter exists and is shattered.

 

Stop the lies.

 

Stop the manipulation.

 

Stop, please.

[Brightmoon]

Dear *****,

 

I realise now that what was going on here was unrequited love.

My love for you was unrequited.

 

I feel so ashamed and humiliated.

In realising this, I feel I have lost you all over again. The pain and shock has returned.. as well as the aching loss.. but all tinged with shame and humiliation.. no, not tinged.. deeply, deeply coloured.. with shame and humilation.

 

I know now. I wanted you to know.

 

I did, and in fact still do harbour hopes that you felt something for me.. but I see that you didn't... anyway, that is what unrequited love is..

 

I feel so hurt right now.... Raw.

 

 

God!, it's like starting all over again. The hurt is unbearable. I can bearly cope. Tears won't stop.

Edited January 14, 2010 by Brightmoon
To add something...

[DiscoChick]

When I first met you, I was afraid. I thought you were way out of my league, which is why I instantly assumed I was in the friend zone. You were my best friend in just five months. A month later you confessed you want to date me. Great. We went through a lot the first seventeen months. Then you broke up with me because you were moving, but you couldn’t tell me that. I should have known then that you were a coward. I cried like a little child. It took me days to get the nerve to just ask you why. You didn’t think we could do the long distance thing. You called me two months later to check up on me. You emailed me every day after that. You wanted to try the long distance thing, and you came back home to start school for the new semester. We broke up again right after Valentine’s day. I did not cry. I was simply confused. I realized that you did not know what you wanted. I am the one who returned to you this past August. You were always too busy to see me unless you wanted something, and I always gave to you. I was not surprised when you told me you had someone else. Well, you broke up with me the day after you initiated that new relationship. I just wish you had explained what happened.

 

I did everything you wanted. I waited for you each time you secluded yourself. Sometimes, I felt like dealing with you was like dealing with a child, but I love you so much. You were my best friend. I am not angry. I just love you so much. God, I find it so ironic that when you first initiated our relationship you were the “Fool in the Rain.” That’s what you said. When I was down you always told me you had me. When my father died, I did not have to ask you for anything. You were there. Even when he was in the hospital, you were there. You were there when I needed you, but never when I wanted. I can only hope that somebody you will love someone half as much as I love you, and you will know. It hurts, but it is the most beautiful thing I have experienced. In that Lauryn Hill song she mentions that, “no on loves you more than me and no one ever will.” And “No one’s hurt me more than you, and no one ever will.” Both are true. You asked, I gave. I told you I probably couldn’t have children. You said we could adopt. You said you would go everywhere I wanted to go. I think the fact of my father’s death is so recent that it makes losing you seem insignificant. But I do miss you. I simply miss talking to you. I miss the way you told me I was more beautiful than I’ll ever be able to see. I miss the way you whispered that you love me and the way you held my hand.

 

I’m not waiting on you anymore. I wish you nothing but complete happiness. I want you to find those things you are lacking. I want you to complete yourself and be happy. You never laughed when I sent you those silly songs. You listened. I’m sorry we could not go on any longer but, “I’ll always love you, even if it hurts.” I have no regrets of what we shared. I would do it again each time, even if I knew where it was going. Have a wonderful, beautiful life.

[Bulldozed]

Dear Todd -

A little over two years ago we bumped into to each other downtown. It was so great to see you that night! It had been such a long time. My boyfriend Jamie was with me at the time and I know you talked with him a bit. I asked you for your number and then texted you later that evening. I know as we progressed in re-connecting over the next few weeks, I told you that I had emotionally moved on from Jamie and that I stayed with him the last year for support through his mother’s battle with cancer. You told me what a truly self-less thing it was that I did. I understood your concern about not getting involved in a rebound relationship, and I assured you that wasn’t the case. You must be a trusting person, considering that you’ve been hurt in your past? Establishing trust in a new relationship can be difficult. I know that from my own experiences. Well a month or two later, we went to Vegas and I had such a great time with you that I was really looking forward to having a great relationship. I know you felt the same way!

 

It wasn’t a month later that my dad got really sick. I was terrified since the Dr’s couldn’t really seem to pinpoint exactly what was wrong with him. You were so supportive, visiting him at the hospital 3 times with me when not even my own brother visited him. I also didn’t know you went there one afternoon during work to see him but he was asleep. Not even my BFF Christine went to see my dad. But you did…

 

After moving out of Jamie’s house, I was concerned about my cat. You agreed to take care of him. Very considerate! Of course what I realized however was that I wasn’t really over Jamie and that you were right, maybe we were a rebound, I just didn’t realize it; because at the time, you were good for me and treated me in a way that made me feel good about myself. I thought I was really happy? Shortly after putting up a Xmas tree for us and decorating it with you, I came to visit you the week before Xmas and told you teary eyed that “I can’t do this anymore” and got my cat and left. I then spent the week of Xmas w/Jamie. I chose to go to Christine’s house Xmas eve with Jamie and also took him to my own family’s Xmas gathering and not you. Clearly, I wasn’t over him. Wonder what my parents really thought about that? I should have left you for good or at least maybe come back once I’d really closed the Jamie Chapter?

 

I guess Tom now gets to benefit from the absence of that crap since I’ve put Jamie behind me! Lucky for Tom!

 

Regardless, it was a chapter that remained open for 2 years. And yes, I know after that first Xmas, you were never threatened by him. Annoyed maybe, probably more so for me than you? After-all, you did tell me to maintain some contact w/him so I could occasionally snag you some party favors. If we’re like most guys, you would told where to go if I continued on with him on any level. You were actually supportive this summer when I tried in vain to help him get to re-hab. Concerned about him driving his un-insured car, you suggested keeping it at his brother’s old house. Good suggestion! I know I threw Jamie at you this past August in one of my classic text messages as if you didn’t have enough crap on your mind with your job insecurity. Perhaps that was a low blow? Even though I felt like you didn’t trust me, I know deep down you did…though I don’t know why? I mean seriously, how many times did I tell you that Tom and I were just “good” friends and all I was doing was helping him deal w/his separation? And I know I joked with Kim the first time I saw her after their separation, when she came to see me at work. I honestly don’t know why asking her if I could date Tom, since they were separated, upset her or you? Don’t you two know me better than that? It was a JOKE, silly!

 

Maybe after that first Xmas you should have never taken me back. I know I probably wouldn’t have been that understanding if things were reversed. Of course, that’s something you probably would have never done to me in the first place. Perhaps I should have pressed Jamie with all my might to go to grief counseling or better yet, since he was my true love, couples counseling. I guess in a way, I let his mother down as just a month or so after she passed away I was making my moves with you. Who knows how his life may have turned out had I remained persistent and fought for him? Maybe a real intervention with Ken, Christine, Jamie and I two years ago would have worked out for the two of us? I guess I’ll never know? It’s safe to say it hasn’t worked out too well for him since then. Oh well....I sure hope “Squeeks” is okay!

 

I don’t know what my deal is, it seems that wherever I go and whoever I’m with, I manage to leave a trail of **** behind me, marking where I’ve been? I guess that should serve as a cautionary trail for future unsuspecting guys who make the mistake of trusting? Though I’m not proud of some of my past and some of my decisions, and I know in a lot of cases I wasn’t treated well or fairly, maybe on some level it’s me who actually needs counseling as a means of moving on and cleansing my past and perhaps reaching a higher and happier level of existence! Maybe I truly need to just focus on the relationship I have with myself? Who knows?

 

Of course applying tough love to one’s own self is much easier said than done! Could I actually seek the advice of a professional rather than the subjective advice of friends and family? Could someone whose education and commitment to his or her practice actually benefit me? Maybe one day I’ll have the courage do that strictly for myself!!

 

With Jamie I continued playing along in his texting game (which by all accounts is a big no-no when trying to move on- talk about creating false hope). In fact, in one of his text messages asking me to come back, I actually told him I wouldn’t do that until he proved to me he could change. Of course, I had you hanging in the on-deck circle in case he didn’t change. I like to have my cake AND eat it too! Maybe that’s the passive-aggressive side of me? Who knows……knowing him too well, I knew he probably wouldn’t change. Of course like with you, there is no better way to work things out with someone you love than text messaging. I gave it my all with both Jamie and you! Clearly that’s one of the benefits that the inventors of texting had in mind when they developed this form of communication as a means of greatly improving interpersonal relationships? Texting things to you like, “Kids never seemed to work with us, or I don’t know what you want or I had a miserable time at Sammi’s b-day party or my mom doesn’t think you’re the right guy for me” are perfect examples of how to use text messaging! Forget actually talking with you about these feelings I was experiencing, what could that possibly accomplish? I know you told me multiple times that communicating like this was bull**** and we needed to actually have a real talk, I ignored it…as if that’s a good idea! I’m sure you had nothing better to do during your workday than contemplate why on earth I would text things like this to you? I wonder what your mom thought about me? You probably didn’t know as I’m sure she doesn’t intrude in her 43 yr old son’s life and is confident that she and your dad raised you to make good decisions in life? Kind of hard to avoid that Todd, when I live at home still with a sometimes over-bearing mother, don’t ya think? That’s okay, I’ll be moving to beautiful Madison Heights soon enough! I sure hope the “fluff” lasts, as I’ve probably worn out my welcome at home? Of course my parents love me very much, so I’m sure their doors will always remain open for me.

 

I know when you were with Julie you thought she cheated on you as she was texting some guy she met a couple wks prior to you two breaking up. After crossing your boundary, you promptly kicked her to the curb. This was the same woman you took to Europe twice, the Bahamas’ for a week, Key West for a week, multiple trips to the Leelanau Peninsula and you ended it after 3 and half years simply for texting some guy in Indianapolis she just met? WOW! Why didn’t you have the same boundary with me? What was it about me that allowed you to drop your guard, especially after treating our young relationship the way I did? I’ve never stopped to ask myself how I would have handled all of this if the circumstances were reversed. Would I honestly stick around with a guy who took me to Vegas, was a long-time friend of mine prior to dating, who insisted to me that I wasn’t a rebound, but who still couldn’t seem to let go of his ex girlfriend? Probably not! Wow, you must have really cared for me! In any event, shortly after Xmas, first or second week of 08’ I found myself texting you things like, “You’re my soul mate”….” I want to have your babies”, “will you marry me Mr. Lenk”…”there’s no-fluff with us”….what was I thinking, sending these words to you, just weeks after telling Jamie that I wouldn’t come back unless he changed. Am I really that insecure? And what were you thinking actually believing these things?

 

What a regrettable experience these 2 yrs must have been for you? I mean at this stage of your life, you were probably tired of games and looking for someone & something that was finally grounded in stability?

 

It wasn’t long after the holidays that I lost my position as GM at the shores store. As you recall, someone inside complained to management about me. Early on I suspected it was Michelle and you continued to believe that. If it was, she must be carrying around a lot of guilt inside of her, since she’s one of my few remaining friends. I also recall you telling me prior to being demoted that it’s never a good idea to be overly social with your subordinates as the corporate world tends to frown on that sort of thing. What do you know anyway? Oddly enough, that was one of the reasons cited in my demotion. I used to call you my “Brilliant man”, for your advice. However over time, the only reason you shared your opinions was to make me feel bad and inadequate about myself, wasn’t it? You never really cared about me did you? Why couldn’t you be less opinionated or at least give me a little latitude? Why couldn’t I tell you how some of those comments made me feel? I guess in the end, successful couples that openly communicate with one another based on trust, will use each other’s strengths and weaknesses for the betterment of the relationship. I know you’re not the tidiest of guys and your house, to put it mildly is a wreck, but shame on me for not communicating with you exactly how frustrated that made me. I also know that you did have strong opinions that I found to be sometimes hurtful! Instead of confronting you, I just internalized it as though things would magically change without ever having to say anything. I know there was a lot you wanted to do to your house and places you wanted us to go, but taking a 30k pay cut to work for John, put limitations on some those things. Regardless, you needed a huge kick in the ass because you did sometimes hurt me and you were at times lazy! Maybe the uncertainty of what was going on at work for most of 09’ had some affect on you? Probably the same uncertainty my dad’s job had on him; fortunately for him he’s always had my mom there to support him. That’s where you failed Todd. You never leaned on me or opened up? Why is that? Regardless, I suspect that being out from under Freer has to be one of the best feelings in the world for you?

 

Well, as I suspected, Jamie didn’t change, as clearly getting drunk, dealing drugs and watching porn was more important to him than I was. So I guess you were my back-up plan. Note to self “always have a guy standing by”….I had Jack who I was ……. while married to Jeff, I had you who I was messin’ around with, while still living with Jamie….you get the point. I don’t think I need to go into more recent examples. The thing with Jamie is that he treated me so well during both of our relationships that I only thought it fair to give him MULTIPLE opportunities to fix things. You however, were terrible to me, that is why I moved on so quickly; of course the opportunity to snatch up my friends catch of an ex-husband “Tom”, helped speed things along. Getting my number changed this past August was purely for my own sanity and of course to spare Tom from the annoyance of my getting threats of“suicide” messages from my ex. I’m sure, like you he probably wouldn’t have embraced that drama. Seriously, who would?

 

I’ve realized that the thing about me Todd is that I suffer from low self-esteem. You, more than anyone should know that….regrettably, I can’t simply be alone, at least not for long and definitely not while my biological clock is winding down. I need my ego stroked. I need to be w/someone new as I’m always searching for that perpetual “feel good & fluff-filled” relationship. When it’s “fluff”, you don’t really have to work at it, everything’s so easy! I guess I never understood why you asked me to clarify for you what I meant by us being “no-fluff”? What did you mean by asking me that anyway? Were you somehow implying that all relationships are nothing but “fluff” early on? Is that what the “honeymoon” phase is all about? Well regardless, I knew you made me happy and everyone around me knew it! That’s all that mattered to me. You were caring, considerate and always generous to me. Maybe you dropped your personal boundaries with me because you truly loved me for who I was, and wanted so badly to give me everything you possibly could?

 

The problem I have is that I can’t let anyone truly love me unless I can learn to love myself. In all my past relationships, my ex’s all managed to disappear on me. Whether it was with themselves alone in the basement w/pot, booze, friends, or other women, they all managed to check out. Why did they do that? What did I do to deserve that?

 

 

Is it possible that I’m the one common denominator in all my failed relationships, or do I just not know how to pick guys? There are, after-all, always two sides to a story, and honestly Todd, you really only heard my side of things.

 

Perhaps, you, Jeff, Jack, Jamie all became predictable and therefore, the fluff faded? Strangely enough, maybe the fact that Todd isn’t spelled Jodd with a “J”, had me thinking you might be the one? I’m not giving up on “T’s” though Todd, now I’m hangin’ with my new soul-mate, Tom! To be honest, I guess I never believed that you really didn’t care about my past or even Jamie and that you truly only cared about me? Was it because you trusted me? Shame on you! You’re not real bright are you Todd?

 

What was it about me that pushed these guys to seek solace away from me? I guess you might have found out had I actually moved in with you, although who knows, some of the things we talked about doing together might have actually been positive for us? I know you wanted the best for me in everything, but I could never accept that from you. I don’t know why? I’m conflicted inside, I think it’s that passive-aggressive thing and I can’t accept that people do truly care for me.

 

I think my real problem is I spend too much time trying to make everyone else’s life better at the expense of my own happiness. I know I’ve had no formal training or education in substance abuse counseling, child development or marriage counseling, but in my own mind I’m great at trying to help, regardless of whether anything changes? Of course, in the case of marital problems w/my friends, I’m real good at consoling their husbands, and who knows what could happen? I mean long-term friendships after-all, really aren’t that important, are they? And in most cases, at least for my convenience, there’s only one side to a story. Of course, when you’re eyeballin’ a friend’s husband, that’s what you convince yourself of, regardless of what your friend may have had to go through? Is it really possible to “tango” alone?

 

The intelligent side of me knows that there’s probably a reason people don’t share each other’s dirty underwear? However, the insecure side of me has tuned out the fact that people must wonder why my only remaining friends these days are two former subordinates and my exbf’s sister-n-law? What does that tell you about me, seriously? Don’t answer that! I guess in the future I should pick my friends very carefully, and vow NEVER to let them down. That’s really the mark of true friendship. Your friends are clear examples of that mutual devotion as they’ve been with you since junior high school.

 

To be honest, character, integrity and loyalty was never really that important to me. That was a life lesson that regrettably, I never learned. Most of my old friends have moved onto different phases of life; marriage, family, kids, while I’ve been trying to find that allusive fountain of youth and somehow get back to my Rock-star 20’s. That’s why I never thought I wanted children. Frankly, it would cramp my style. But tell me this; did you really used to fantasize about me one day being a hockey mom? Just curious?

 

Todd, I know you were committed to me, but did I ever really do anything for you from my heart, that proved I was ever really committed to you? Yeah, I know I took you on a date to Luigi’s the week of Kid Rock, and told you that night that I wanted to move in before the holidays. You didn’t actually believe that crap, did you? Please tell me that when you responded “I’ve got a lot of work to do” you didn’t actually invest in re-finishing your basement, did you? Especially not knowing what your future at Freer held? And don’t even tell me you thought our conversations real when we discussed whether Christine or Mindy should be my maid of honor. And all that talk about how lucky we were to have two sets of grandparents so close by that would allow us to have a nice balance in life when he had a baby one day? Please!!! Words vs. Actions Todd! Didn’t anyone ever tell you that you need to pay more attention to what a woman “does” vs. what she “says”? I thought all guys new that?

 

Thankfully I ended things when I did. Who knows what other plans you may have had on deck or already in progress? But seriously, who was I kidding? I was really only biding time until Tom was officially divorced. Todd, please remember that…why do you think I wanted to bring him to Def Leppard; for you to get to know my “Good friend”? Pleeeaze!! I know you like to put me on a pedestal, but seriously, DON’T! I’m not that special. I’ve never been treated as though I was special in any way. I’ve got a pretty face, nice hair and nails, but beyond that and like I told you early on, I’m not the sharpest knife in the drawer. I know you chastised me for saying something like that about myself…I guess looking back I can understand why saying that would be upsetting. If I don’t believe in myself, who else will? I know you always did…..why?

 

I always asked you if you were going to take care of me. I hope that didn’t come across as “needy”? Maybe I am needy? Maybe I’m tired of always being the cleanup person? The one everyone turns too for support? Maybe for once I just wanted to have someone take care of me for a change? I often wondered why you never told me you “needed” me. Is it because you never needed me, you just “wanted” me? I guess it has to be a two-way street though, doesn’t it? You were always there for me, whether I was stressed about work, or upset over Trenton, or offering to help me study for my abo test…or being supportive when I got demoted again…or when I didn’t have time to take a lunch break… there you were with my Jimmy John’s Beach club, minus sprouts! I guess looking back, there probably wasn’t anything you wouldn’t have done for me, was there? Why couldn’t I do the same for you? I guess the “Fluff” faded? Our two years seems to be my typical relationship life-cycle. What I was now in, was the real relationship phase. You know, one that’s based on trust, commitment and REAL communication and not junior high texting….and of course, a comfort level that sometimes can lead to the mundane, as is often true in most mature relationships. I know I was the first person to ever text you the nite of the Art Party. I guess in hindsight that was a mistake as maybe I corrupted you? Of course, you could have had the texting turned off, though things didn’t really start souring on the text front until this past summer? Hopefully I won’t make the same mistake in the future? Probably will though, as I really don’t like discussing real issues. I’d much rather launch emotional grenades through cyberspace. That’s my own special way of coping once the fluff has faded. I think it’s fair to say we we’re both guilty of this and really should have known better.

 

Why couldn’t I give you more support when you lost your job in June? What a horrible thing to learn in a voicemail while being on vacation with me? I tried though! I distinctly remember asking you at least three times this past summer, “when is John going to call you back”? Wasn’t that enough support for you? I mean, if I spent more time supporting you and the stress you were under, when would I be able to talk to you about my constant urge to “snap off like a twig” from all the drama at Lenscrafters? Seriously! I know you had monthly expenses that thankfully I didn’t have to deal with (thank you btw) but seriously, how stressful could it really be? I know you worked for an abusive business owner, who beat you down almost daily. What could I possibly do? I guess I didn’t realize that this summer, not to mention most of 09’, was in fact pretty rough on you. All I can say is, do you know how stressful it is when a rude customer complains that we messed up his prescription or his new Maui Jim Sunglasses don’t fit right or some cheesy deigo is acting all full of himself and irritating the **** out of me! That’s stress!

 

I know John told you he’d call you back, month after month, and the fact that he never did probably had you terrified, given the fact that Automotive sales engineer jobs weren’t growing on trees, but honestly, what’s the worst that could happen? I mean you were collecting unemployment weren’t you? Tell me, $1500/month couldn’t cover your expenses? At least you had savings built up? I wonder what those savings were actually for. This actually caused you stress? It couldn’t have been as stressful as wondering what a couple of families on Erben St., were saying about you? I mean seriously, they don’t even know me. Do you know how life changing and traumatic that was on me? Why didn’t you care? Of course maybe I was guilty of being a little delusional? I guess in the end, who cares what they think anyway, they aren’t part of my life. They know I dated a friend of a friend’s brother at one time and that I dated you and I worked for Lenscrafters….why was I so insecure about this? Maybe I should have realized that when Lou was drunk, the only things he naturally would bring up to me were the only things he knew about me? Jamie, you and Lencrafters stuff? The fact of the matter is he didn’t really know anything else about me? Can I blame him for not being the greatest conversationalist? Did I honestly believe that beyond running their successful businesses and juggling their big families that they actually had the time or the inclination to actually discuss or gossip about a person who was at best, an acquaintance? Oh yeah, the self esteem thing….my bad. Regardless, I let this insecurity come between us, didn’t I? You really didn’t deserve that. I’m sure you were more concerned with whether you were actually going to get paid from week to week, illegally?

 

Truthfully, the only people that should have mattered to me on that street were your family. I know they loved me, and like you, would have provided me with any support I needed. I guess I never really deserved their love. Is that what it’s all about though, really? Support and love, unconditionally? Not so sure about that Todd? I’m confident that you haven’t shared much, if anything with them. I know your dad adored me and I know you wouldn’t want to taint the image he has of me.

 

Todd – one thing that really upset me though is just couple weeks after we put the boat in the water at the cottage (where I thanked you on the way home for insisting that I go and how much we needed that time together), that was such a great weekend btw!! (PS: try to steal the potato & bacon soup recipe for me next time you’re up there.) You upset me at my parent’s fireworks party the day after MJ died. I know I didn’t say but 2 or three words to you the entire evening, as I was enamored with Christine’s little girl, Lilly. I mean after-all; I only really got to see her 2 or 3 times a week. You left the party and appeared upset! I thought that was soooo selfish of you. Of course as soon as you left, I started cutting you down to my friends and parents just like I cut you down to Jim and Mindy when you failed to show up for Biz’ birthday party.

 

A piece of advice for you; and not to beat a dead horse, but seriously, in your next relationship do try to pay more attention to what your girlfriend DOES and less attention to what she says. Believe me; this will shed serious light as to her true character. Sniff it out early on! And don’t, I repeat, DON’T ignore your instincts! I can tell you this; if your parents were having a fireworks party and you invited Julie’s brother (your best friend) and family to come hang out with us, I wouldn’t have a problem with that, as I’ve told youmultiple times that I liked her brother and family, especially after the first night I met him, along with you and his mother. Knowing that it was my brother Michaels birthday and a friend was having a duel-themed “kid friendly” Fireworks/B-Day Party, I would have been sure to let you know that it was important for us to at least make an appearance; you know, to wish my brother a happy birthday and see friends we don’t get to see that often. I know you would have agreed to go. If however, you later decided that you would rather stay at your folk’s house and hang with your ex’s family, I would completely understand that decision even though they too could come along. It’s not like my brother won’t have another birthday, right? We can catch him next year as I know how important your ex’s family is to you.

 

There are many things I could say to you Todd that would clearly shed some more light on me. Regretfully for you, these were things you should have picked up on a long time ago. Who knows, maybe you did, but for whatever reason you chose to ignore them because maybe deep-down you really did love me and believed the two of us could actually work out our problems like adults? However, had you paid closer attention to my actions and not my words, you could have saved yourself a lot of time, spent emotion and money. Seriously, I have to believe that some of our mutual friends warned you to be careful of me? You really didn’t have to look too far in my past to realize that we’re very different on many levels, save for celebrity gossip and of course, Rock-n-Roll trivia. I got ya beat there!

 

 

Take care,

 

 

Susan