Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[Nikki Sahagin]

I don't think I can ever understand what went 'wrong' with us and I think thats the hardest part. I want an answer, a real answer. I want to UNDERSTAND and to KNOW. I know that might not change much but its what I want. Sometimes I wonder if the relationship was real or was it my projection, my fantasy. Our love/lust was so intense and crazy. There were so many obstacles that when I finally had you - I never wanted to let you go. I was shocked when you could...and did.

 

To make myself better I try to just imagine you with loads of girls - not the man I thought you were. But then that hurts too. Because it makes me feel i'm not good enough. Although I know I am and everyone tells me I am. But for all I gave you...you could throw it away? Did that make me not good enough..FOR YOU...or did it mean you were frightened? You always said I was too good for you and that you wanted me but just couldn't have me. I guess I understand that. I was so afraid to let someone love me...in case I let them down. In case one day I wasn't funny or sexy or perfect. The pressure to be the one that someone wants above all others.

 

I love you so much still, I always will, like there's part of my heart cut out for you. We haven't spoken and i've met loads of new people; its still your face I see before I go to sleep, you I think of in the mornings, its still you I wish for, hope for.

 

I really miss you baby I hope us ending brings us both greater things but I know I could have been so happy with you if you'd just let us.

 

I love you.

[deux ex machina]

[justaguy123]

Thank you.

 

[affairshipper]

You're a cake-eater and a hedonist who doesn't care about me or anyone else. I'm done with all your lying and cheating. You have made it clear you only wanted me for sex. Go and f*ck yourself.

[Nikki Sahagin]

So you text me to say all kinds of nice things. You want to be my friend, sometimes you seem to want me back, other times you want sex. I am SO confused. What DO you want? Do you even know? Because you don't make it clear to me if you do. Please don't make your confusion mine. I'm resentful that other peoples relationships are working out and ours couldn't. God i'm so f-ed up.

[twhisperer]

I don't let myself think about it anymore but I woke up in the middle of my sleep and my first thought was immediately of you and tears swelled my eyes and I started sobbing. I was fine the whole day and I don't know why I woke up like that and I wish I didn't because it only reminds me of how much I miss you and how it will never make sense to me.

[Chitowngirl]

Why the hell am I still thinking about you? Why do I say I love you? to myself? Why do I say you were the love of my life? Why does it still hurt when I tell people about you? Why do you still have this affect on me? I dont want to get back with you, but I'm just sad that things didn't work out. You had a horrible temper and are abusive, so no way Id go back with you, but I miss you. I miss the good times. I miss you. I hate it. I'm moving on of course but I think about you every damn day still. It has been almost 10 months. I think about seeing you again, just to look at your face. I imagine it and I cry. I know it would hurt me a lot because I still care about you. I hate this. I don't know why you have this affect on me. I wish you wouldn't block me on facebook. I wish we could talk. I think it would help. what is wrong with me. I guess it's because I haven't been in love since you. When I'm jogging along the beach or working out, I think of you and how we had fun working out together every day. I haven't dated anyone since who has that in common with me. I miss you but I hate you for all the pain you caused.

[MrsPeaSoup]

To Robert, the guy I thought was my life mate:

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why did things happen the way they did?

 

WHY DID I SEND THOSE 2 FREAKIN' LOUSY E-MAILS?!?!?!

 

I mean, if I hadn't I wouldn't have lost you... I know that there still would have been a big chance you would have broken up with me sooner or later, but at least you would have given me one last chance to change and be happy with me again! It's not fair. I have said it to you a couple of times, but just after our last fight I knew I was changing, that I was being able to cope a whole lot better with this freaking long distance.

Why didn't you give me another chance???

 

Just 1 more chance to bring back our love, that deep compassionate love we allways felt. That love that made even you cry sometimes when you said we were meant for eachother.. I can't believe this! YOU SAID IT!! We were meant for each other! YOU said we would be together for the rest of our lives.

 

What an idiot I was to actually believe you AND give you my whole heart with it!

 

Now I'm here, stuck in my own misery... Trying to work on myself and be happy again, but every moment I'm alone with my thoughts: you pop in my brains and I can't let you go.

 

Why did this happen? I really thought we would be together for allways... you were my soulmate, man. Damn you.

[Tamia78]

Try Sleeping with a Broken Heart-- Alicia Keys

 

Even if you were a million miles away

I could still feel you in my bed

telling me, touch me, feel me

And even in the bottom of the sea

I can still hear inside my head

Telling me, touch me, feel me

And all the time you were telling me lies

 

So tonight I’m gonna find a way to make it without you

Tonight I’m gonna find a way to make it without you

I’m gonna hold onto the times that we had

Tonight I’m gonna find a way to make it without you

 

Have you ever tried sleeping with a broken heart

Well you can try sleeping in my bed

Lonely, only, nobody ever shut it down like you

You wore the crown, you make my body feel heaven-bound

Why don’t you hold me, need me, I thought you told me

You’d never leave me

 

Looking in the sky I can see your face

And i knew right where I’d fit in

Take me, make me

You know that I’ll always be in love with you

Right til the end

 

So tonight I’m gonna find a way to make it without you

Tonight I’m gonna find a way to make it without you

I’m gonna hold onto the times that we had

Tonight I’m gonna find a way to make it without you

 

Anybody could have told you right from the start

It’s bout fall apart

So rather than hold onto a broken dream

Or just hold onto love

And I could find a way to make it

Don’t hold on too tight

I’ll make it without you tonight

 

So tonight I’m gonna find a way to make it without you

Tonight I’m gonna find a way to make it without you

I’m gonna hold onto the times that we had

Tonight I’m gonna find a way to make it without you

 

I miss you, baby. I have to let you go now, so I can move on. You will always have a place in my heart. I love you.

 

--T

[thisdayforward]

Baby, I miss you so much.

 

I miss how warm you always were to me. I miss your smile and your incredible, loving hug. Oh, that hug is the best of hugs. You got down to my level. You squatted down every single day, many times a day, to warm me with your hug and love me.

 

I miss how you took care of me. You were always there when I needed you. Always. When I needed you that one day last summer, you dropped everything and drove two hours to be with me. If we could still be together now and you could know how much I am sobbing writing this, wherever you are, you would run to my side to be with me. When I was sick last May, you told me to stay put and go back to bed. You talked me through so much stress. You held me when I had the panic attack in bed. You took care of me through all of my messes. You rubbed my shoulder like there was no tomorrow. You rubbed my growing pains. You rubbed me when my leg locked up on the dad chair that one time...You built the vanity just for me. You painted the bookshelf so it would match my new room. You remodeled and remodeled. You took care of that mouse nest and kept the secret until it was safe to let me know. You endured that terrible job with those terrible bosses. You took such good care of me.

 

I miss how we talked. Oh my gosh, we talked. Road trips, all our vacations, day after day we could always keep talking. I miss how we connected that way. We had such an understanding. And all our ideas. We had dreams. We made so many of our dreams come alive, too. The house, Big Red, the agency project, going back to school, parties, trips, the G-ride, that last trip to Venice... I even miss listening to you talk to others.

 

I miss how you inspired me. I miss how you supported me and believed in me. I admired you so much. Even at the end, you were doing things that impressed me so. I can't imagine having more admiration for a person. To me, you just take the cake.

 

I miss your humor. I miss seeing you get excited about Burn Notice. I miss the dream that one day we would be snowed in and you would force me into a Godfather marathon. I miss watching you drive and watching you ride.

 

I miss you, Baby. I really wanted to see you dance.

[ingridh]

I miss you, baby. I have to let you go now, so I can move on. You will always have a place in my heart. I love you.

--T

 

Oh, that is hearbreakingly sweet. How could he have let you go?

[ingridh]

Baby, I miss you so much.

 

I miss how warm you always were to me. I miss your smile and your incredible, loving hug. Oh, that hug is the best of hugs. You got down to my level. You squatted down every single day, many times a day, to warm me with your hug and love me.

 

I miss how you took care of me. You were always there when I needed you. Always. When I needed you that one day last summer, you dropped everything and drove two hours to be with me. If we could still be together now and you could know how much I am sobbing writing this, wherever you are, you would run to my side to be with me. When I was sick last May, you told me to stay put and go back to bed. You talked me through so much stress. You held me when I had the panic attack in bed. You took care of me through all of my messes. You rubbed my shoulder like there was no tomorrow. You rubbed my growing pains. You rubbed me when my leg locked up on the dad chair that one time...You built the vanity just for me. You painted the bookshelf so it would match my new room. You remodeled and remodeled. You took care of that mouse nest and kept the secret until it was safe to let me know. You endured that terrible job with those terrible bosses. You took such good care of me.

 

I miss how we talked. Oh my gosh, we talked. Road trips, all our vacations, day after day we could always keep talking. I miss how we connected that way. We had such an understanding. And all our ideas. We had dreams. We made so many of our dreams come alive, too. The house, Big Red, the agency project, going back to school, parties, trips, the G-ride, that last trip to Venice... I even miss listening to you talk to others.

 

I miss how you inspired me. I miss how you supported me and believed in me. I admired you so much. Even at the end, you were doing things that impressed me so. I can't imagine having more admiration for a person. To me, you just take the cake.

 

I miss your humor. I miss seeing you get excited about Burn Notice. I miss the dream that one day we would be snowed in and you would force me into a Godfather marathon. I miss watching you drive and watching you ride.

 

I miss you, Baby. I really wanted to see you dance.

 

Wow. I teared up reading this. What happened?

[MrsPeaSoup]

Baby, I miss you so much.

 

I miss how warm you always were to me. I miss your smile and your incredible, loving hug. Oh, that hug is the best of hugs. You got down to my level. You squatted down every single day, many times a day, to warm me with your hug and love me.

 

I miss how you took care of me. You were always there when I needed you. Always. When I needed you that one day last summer, you dropped everything and drove two hours to be with me. If we could still be together now and you could know how much I am sobbing writing this, wherever you are, you would run to my side to be with me. When I was sick last May, you told me to stay put and go back to bed. You talked me through so much stress. You held me when I had the panic attack in bed. You took care of me through all of my messes. You rubbed my shoulder like there was no tomorrow. You rubbed my growing pains. You rubbed me when my leg locked up on the dad chair that one time...You built the vanity just for me. You painted the bookshelf so it would match my new room. You remodeled and remodeled. You took care of that mouse nest and kept the secret until it was safe to let me know. You endured that terrible job with those terrible bosses. You took such good care of me.

 

I miss how we talked. Oh my gosh, we talked. Road trips, all our vacations, day after day we could always keep talking. I miss how we connected that way. We had such an understanding. And all our ideas. We had dreams. We made so many of our dreams come alive, too. The house, Big Red, the agency project, going back to school, parties, trips, the G-ride, that last trip to Venice... I even miss listening to you talk to others.

 

I miss how you inspired me. I miss how you supported me and believed in me. I admired you so much. Even at the end, you were doing things that impressed me so. I can't imagine having more admiration for a person. To me, you just take the cake.

 

I miss your humor. I miss seeing you get excited about Burn Notice. I miss the dream that one day we would be snowed in and you would force me into a Godfather marathon. I miss watching you drive and watching you ride.

 

I miss you, Baby. I really wanted to see you dance.

 

...

 

[twhisperer]

I dreamed of you the other night, for the first time ever. And I'll I could see was your face but it was transparent and started to fade. It's like you vanished right in front of my eyes. I fell in love with you and no body was there to catch me. I just wish some part of me knew that it wasn't one sided, that you felt the same. It's so hard to believe that you ever did.

[phoenix1]

I never, never, ever thought I would feel the day where I actually hated you. And I pray for the day where I just don't care. How foolish I was to think that you had the ability to part with love....really it just gave you yet another opportunity to **** me over.

 

I feel like everything you told me at the end of our relationship was a lie...a lie not to let me down easy, but a lie to make it easier for you. Because you are a coward. I wonder sometimes if you ever loved me. Right now it feels like it was all a dream from a long time ago..not real.

 

Don't forget who loved you when you didn't have much. I didn't love you because you had this or that, or were this or that. I loved you for who you were. And sadly, that's not who you are anymore.

[Tamia78]

N,

I noticed that you've been checking up on me on the forum. For what reason? Your relationships not working like you thought they would? Well, you know what? You don't have the privilege to know what I've been up to. I won't let you have that. You can't see my FB page, I haven't posted on the forum since Christmas, so you can't even have the pleasure of reading that. You got rid of me, you don't get to know what I'm doing. That makes me happy. I hope I don't get an email or anything, but I'm gonna be strong and try to just delete it. I don't need you. You don't get to know whether I'm happy, sad, single, married......nothing! Go on to your gf, I'm sure you're doing the same thing to her anyways.

One more thing: I looked up verbal abuse---that was YOU, you stupid f*cker! You had the gall to accuse ME of something you were doing? I can never be like that to anyone, and I think you know that. You just wanted a way out. Fine, you're out. Completely. You should probably stop checking up on me, then. I'm sure your gf would love that, if she knew.

 

I forget- WHY were we together? Sex was awesome, I'll give you that, but that's all you and your kind know how to do, isn't it? Take that away, and all you are is a lying, cheating, VERBALLY ABUSIVE, f*cked up guy.

 

I saw a pic of a kid who looked like your son. Don't f*ck your kids up. Whatever you do, think of your kids. I miss them, and I hope thinking of them will get you out of whatever mess you've gotten yourself into this time. I know you're too selfish to do even that. God, I hope they're ok.

 

I'm ok. 50 days NC. I did come across some pics of us. Took me back for a minute. But only for a minute, I deleted those f*ckers quickly. I really am doing better. Don't contact me, I don't want you anymore.

 

--T

[2yearsNC]

Hi, Come help me make some money.

What ever happen to your boyfriend?

[The Non-Student]

You destroyed me. You f***ed up my life. And I hope you feel like s*** for it every single day. I hope you cry. I hope you weep. I hope you feel like the a**hole you are.

[Nikki Sahagin]

I don't miss you anymore stranger.

[Tamia78]

I caught you on the forum again. At least I know you are missing me as much as I miss you. I'm happy that I restrained myself from messaging you. I know it's over, and it really is, but I still can't help but miss our good times. We had alot of them. I wish things were different, and then we could be together, but it's just not meant to be. I'm okay with that. I think deep down I always knew that. I still hope you are okay, and that the kids are ok. I'm okay too.

 

Please don't contact me.

 

--T

[bettedaviseyes]

thisdayforward, your letter made me cry too, what happened? =/

___________________________________________________

 

Hey you,

It makes me sick when I think about what you've done with those girls. I know we were just friends since last June, but I always promised to listen to whatever you had to say no matter what. I would've dropped everything on the ground if it meant having to run to you if you ever needed something, that's how dedicated I was to you. I was literally living my life and making something of myself just so I could be with you and make you happy.I now realized how selfish I was making myself for you. I tried during this whole time we had a relationship and friendship, and you didn't do ****. You can't just tell people stuff and not ever mean it. I guess you never thought about other people's emotions. Well you know what? You toyed with mine. Big time. Maybe in life you'll find this out for the best or worst, but this will catch up with you later in life.

I can't fathom how I feel about you now going out with two girls. One you just met and barely knew, the other one legit. You're a two-timer and it's in your blood.This is messed up. I hope you realized you made a mistake.I'm not saying that for myself but for you and the sanity of those girls.The pain you cause me is so much that I find myself starting to numb up. Maybe it's a good thing in this case.I deleted alll of the texts that you've sent me that I've kept for almost a whole year. Next, I just gotta bring myself to delete and trash all of your pictures. I decided to not talk to you until you want to talk, and I'm not going to be as friendly as I was to you as I've been the past two years.

 

-me

[futago]

How are you? I guess it is pointless to tell you, so I am saying it here. Our supposed wedding day is end of the month, it will be just another day, yet i will remember it for a very long time. Anyway, i still miss you a lot, take good care of yourself. Cheers!

[bettedaviseyes]

I thought about you when I woke up, and I somehow felt relieved that I'm not under your wing anymore. So that being said, I could care less about how many countless girls you hookup with how much drugs you take, or how other girls be all over you. If you want my help or listening ear, you're going to have to get my attention, because that's what I've been trying to do for the past two years with you. Forgiving myself is the best thing I've done here, and second is forgiving you, but I'm never forgetting.

 

-ME

[allez102]

You have an absolutely stupid hold of me. Sometimes I find myself seething with you way you treated me and other people. Other times I just want you to be here so you can be with me and lie next to me.

Its getting easier. But the fact that you lied to me so much, and that I know that the sweet words you said to me you were saying to other people, still stings so much. You were the only person who ever loved me, or so I thought. Turns out you didn't love me at all. I'm still checking your FB every day, I need to stop that.

 

I've come on leaps and bounds. I don't think about you near as much anymore, or feel the need to contact you. I feel like i'm finally detaching myself from you. I feel like if you got with someone else right now I wouldn't be nearly as upset as I would have been a few months ago. I think thats because I know I deserve better than you, it's just a painful and lonely process waiting for that someone to come along because i'm still thinking of you in the meantime. I wish you knew how much of a hold you had on me.

[Nikki Sahagin]

In many ways I feel like a failure because our relationship didn't work. My friends relationships are going strong, and ours failed. I feel bad about that, partly because I feel competative. I want to know WHY ours didn't and couldn't work and there's can. Why do they deserve that happiness, and not me? I realise its because they BOTH see their happiness together, but you took me out of your equation.

 

I see all your friends out with you, taking their girlfriends as well. Does that make you wish I was there? The presence that used to be by your side? Or are you glad i'm not there now? Feeling a little bitter tonight.