Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[yume]

i'm so broken i feel as though i can't be fixed.

 

i should have known the indifference wouldn't last.

 

i should have known i wasn't grieving.

 

i should have known i was blocking it out.

 

i should have known all this so i wouldn't be suffering.

 

but i'm suffering now.

 

i miss you so much it hurts my stomach. and i'm never going to have you ever again the way i used to.

 

and i ended it.

 

i wish i could recall all those feelings i felt about being doubtful and not feeling chemistry with you and it doesn't even ****ing matter. my heart does not care.

 

i want you to care. about me. i want to see it. you moved away from me today like you couldn't stand to be close to me. i know i lost that priveledge. but i still love you.

 

i still love you so much it hurts.

 

how am i supposed to get over you when i have to be around you?

 

why do you say hi to me?

 

are you rubbing it in? are you being nice? is it mean?

 

all the things i can never say to you, ever.

 

i can't go back to you.

 

i can't keep suffering like this.

 

can you come to me in a dream and tell me how you are? what you think? if you miss me?

 

i miss you. i miss your voice, i miss talking to you. i miss your arms and most of all i miss your hugs.

 

where am i ever going to find someone else like you?

[Nikki Sahagin]

i'm so broken i feel as though i can't be fixed.

 

i should have known the indifference wouldn't last.

 

i should have known i wasn't grieving.

 

i should have known i was blocking it out.

 

i should have known all this so i wouldn't be suffering.

 

but i'm suffering now.

 

i miss you so much it hurts my stomach. and i'm never going to have you ever again the way i used to.

 

and i ended it.

 

i wish i could recall all those feelings i felt about being doubtful and not feeling chemistry with you and it doesn't even ****ing matter. my heart does not care.

 

i want you to care. about me. i want to see it. you moved away from me today like you couldn't stand to be close to me. i know i lost that priveledge. but i still love you.

 

i still love you so much it hurts.

 

how am i supposed to get over you when i have to be around you?

 

why do you say hi to me?

 

are you rubbing it in? are you being nice? is it mean?

 

all the things i can never say to you, ever.

 

i can't go back to you.

 

i can't keep suffering like this.

 

can you come to me in a dream and tell me how you are? what you think? if you miss me?

 

i miss you. i miss your voice, i miss talking to you. i miss your arms and most of all i miss your hugs.

 

where am i ever going to find someone else like you?

 

Oh sweetie, why did you end things? How long ago? Why can't you go back?

[Woggle]

I hope you enjoy prison.

[shikio011]

I ended it but i thought i did what was right only i was scared after everything became so right.

 

Now its wrong, you being with someone else is the biggest single mistake you'll have to ever live with. I'll never go back now, not after realizing the anxiety & the fear i had to put up with you.

 

this 'friends' thing is a load of bull crap. To you its fine only because you're happy again while i have to watch & suffer for my loss. Screw you. If i cant have everything then i rather have nothing & let time help me forget it all as if nothing ever happened. But i can't get rid of the happiness we had.

 

Instead i can use that happiness on someone else who'll be more deserving & more worth it than you are. I'll wait for you to crawl back to me. But right now, i'll NEVER-SELL MY DIGNITY FOR MORE CRAP LIKE BEING FRIENDS.

[romer]

I can't believe you did this to me. After everything we have been through, you walked away without even looking over your shoulder. You left me when I needed you the most, and for what? Someone who can't even hold a candle to me...is that what you want? Evidently it is. One day I hope you regret what you did to me.

 

I hope you are the one in despair. I hope I am the one walking away, not looking back, and I will have someone worthwhile walking with me.

 

F#&ker

[CLC2008]

You're not my ex, but this is how I feel about you:

 

[elits0]

A month ago you say you aren't with him anymore and you don't want to be in a relationship with anyone.. Yet my friend sees you in his car.. you meet with him and kiss him.. and you're still able to say you love and care about me? I know you better than you think.. go ahead and act like I don't know how you really are on the inside. Don't ask how I am just to make yourself feel better. I want nothing to do with you. Don't try and weasel your way into my life. It's over. Everything I assumed about you was right. Go be happy with your new man. You can't even stick with your decisions. You and your empty words...

[northstar1]

I know there is no going back and I doubt we'll talk again, but the word that comes to my mind about the end is disappointing. There was so much promise. I know I made mistakes. I know that you'd never had a healthy long term relationship before and maybe you just don't believe that they can overcome problems. And I wish you could see that it would have worked out if only we'd been willing to give it time and understood each others needs a little more. We had something special and I hope one day you realize that.

[Nikki Sahagin]

A really random girl started talking to my brother and bringing you up. She likes you. But she knows about me. Weird.

 

Just like someone wrote above, i'm upset because you promised so much more than you gave, you and me had such potential to be amazing partners. And you didn't want it anymore. And i'll never really understand why.

[freckles3131]

Dear C,

 

Life lesson #12

Lying by omission or commission is a bad idea

The meaningful lie, the kind that involves being untruthful or deceitful about important stuff to those you love, is like poison. Telling the truth hurts, but it doesn’t kill. Lying kills love.

Dishonesty has taken your life.

 

10 years….and you are still the same person.

 

I hope you can live with yourself and with all the bull**** you have fed me, the things that you hid from me, and the dishonesty that you bestowed that I was expected to swallow.

 

I am kicking myself in the ass for taking you back for a second chance.

For believing you had changed and put truth on the top of your priority list.

 

I am angry that I kept giving you chances to be that man, while I drove myself crazy trying to figure out “hints” and what is real, what is a lie, what is fake.

 

Only to be slapped upside the face with more omissions, half-truths, and someone that couldn’t be a man for the sake of love, respect and the value of trust and truth in a relationship.

I do not need people like you in my life.

 

Screw me once, shame on me.

Screw me twice, shame on you.

 

Good luck and good riddance.

[freckles3131]

Boy, after re-reading my "letter" I really, really want to send it! ;-)

[worlybear]

There are times that I feel that my heart is still breaking and I wonder if our messy divorce will ever be resolved- even now you are trying to pull my strings and manipulate the situation- but I'm not playing that game anymore. As your finances come crashing down around you I truly hope that youare left with zero emotionally and that your wonderful new life built on lies trips you up and you experience some payback hurt for the terrible experiences you have put me and our children through.

Perhaps you will even see the lying, cheating ow for what she really is... shame on you for turning your back on your own daughter and taking on her spotty ugly sprog. Whatever happened to your brain?

[In-The-Wheat]

wow, some of these are difficult to read. i can barely get thru some without tearing up. i feel ya everybody.. anyway, here is mine.

 

Dear L....

 

I know you probably wont respond to this, but I don't really care at this point nor would I be terribly surprised if its ignored. I know we weren't together long, but you and I both know we fell for each other - Are you afraid it might have worked out? How is it possible for you to cut me out of your life like I never existed, like all the good times we had together meant nothing.. I feel used L.... What was I to you? And I know deep down you feel ashamed of how you handled this - that's why you can't look at me or respond... Breaking up with me through a text message and then ignoring everything else I did because I wanted to fight for us. I know you are still hurting from it. Why not come back and try this? Do you enjoy being with shtty guys that are only going to hurt you in the end? You realize I would have done everything in my power to make you happy and never have to be heartbroken again. But now, I am the one picking up the pieces - still to this day & it sucks but I'm getting better.

 

We had real potential, cute stuff - remember when I called you that, or when you had to stand on your tip toes just to kiss me? Yea, I sure do and I loved it. Or how about when we'd just kiss and stare at each other? - and its all gone now, has been for a month and a half. And why?... Well I have no idea because you never told me. You know how hard it is to see you out and resist waving or saying hello? Do you know how hard it was the other night to not look over while you were working, looking absolutely gorgeous? I remember when you would go out of your way to talk to me while working, and now its like we are strangers.

 

And please tell me wtf you are doing with this new guy? Yea, unfortunately I looked at your FB..Is he a rebound from me, someone you were messing around with, or an ex? He is F'ing ugly and probably an idiot. I'm calling it now that he will burn you... and to think you actually passed me up - something that could have been real. I hope you figure your sh*t out L... & give this another shot. It will be hard for both of us, but we can fix it.

 

 

 

I almost want to send this, but whats the point?

Edited May 11, 2010 by In-The-Wheat

[yume]

Oh sweetie, why did you end things? How long ago? Why can't you go back?

 

Sorry for the late reply, hadn't checked back here since I posted. I can't go back because we broke up once before then got back together....the first time we still spoke and things constantly went from ok to awful; we were amicable one day and fighting the next. It's just hard this time around because we don't speak. It's hard to let that go because we formed a deep connection when we first started dating (I was his first serious relationship in the sense that he was brave enough to speak at length about his past and the deaths of both his parents when he was young, as well as being juggled through government housing, etc)

 

I really pray that someday things will be ok and we can have a peaceful friendship...I just miss the connection we had.

 

----

 

for today...

 

i miss you. it's a dull, scraping ache inside my heart and all i want is some acknowledgment that you still recognize my existence.

[Entitled]

Dear A--,

 

I would have never thought I'd be writing this.

To begin with, thank you for breaking every promise, for betraying me, for going behind my back, and for breaking my heart.

The last week has been hell for me, but, I tried my best to stay on my two feet. At times it was hard, and it still is.

 

I gave everything for you, every single ****ing time you needed me I was there at your door, when you were sick, when you needed help with school, when something was wrong, absolutely everything. I was always there to cheer you on and support you. I never abandoned you, never treated you with disrespect, you were my everything.

 

But, people change in a matter of days. Like you.

You told me that I wasn't there for you, you told me I was starting to drift away from you, you blamed me for everything. Those were all lies to just bring me down, to make me feel like garbage and to cover up your bull****.

 

YOU were the one who went behind my back, you chose me over some guy you just met. It kills me to think that you kissed him behind my back, and that you slept with him. It still hurts.

But I have to move on, you obviously weren't the one for me. You didn't deserve my respect and love. You won't ever get that chance again.

I'm done kicking myself over you, I'm done blaming myself for everything, and I'm done loving you.

You lost every ounce of respect I had for you the second you left me for him, you lost everything.

 

Maybe one day you'll realize it, I doubt it though. Goodbye to you.

A word of advice, grow up. I've come to realize that you're a spoiled little brat and you live in your own little world. When it comes crashing down maybe then your eyes will open up and you'll realize all the mistakes you made.

 

Just remember, you're dead to me now.

Edited May 11, 2010 by Entitled

[jv032889]

D,

 

I don't even know where to start or what to say. This is the FOURTH TIME this has happened. You give me the same ole story each time. I'm numb to the pain. I refuse to become a cold hearted B**** because of you. Someone out there may need someone as loving, caring, and honest as me.

 

You asked me to leave on Monday and I complied. I can't explain what I'm feeling because I dont know. I know I've only cried twice. This is a huge achievment. A year ago I was on my knees asking for your love. Why? Why do I want to be loved by someone who is so confused and unhappy with themselves? I did everything a wife should've done. What more did you want? I don't care at this point. I did my best. I was always there for you, even while working and going to school. I'm to damn good for you. I deserve more than what you can offer. I needed someone to be there for me and you weren't. It was always about work and money with you. Life isn't about money. I will live my life and continue to do what I want. Hopefully, I will remain strong enough to say NO if you come crawling back.

[bluz73]

I can't believe you did this to me. After everything we have been through, you walked away without even looking over your shoulder. You left me when I needed you the most, and for what? Someone who can't even hold a candle to me...is that what you want? Evidently it is. One day I hope you regret what you did to me.

 

I hope you are the one in despair. I hope I am the one walking away, not looking back, and I will have someone worthwhile walking with me.

 

F#&ker

Sending a HUGE HUG to you romer...what you wrote brought tears to my eyes, cause thats exactly what i feel for my ex

[Sari]

I had a great night last night but when I came home I thought of you. I miss going home to you and hugging you to sleep. I miss you stroking my hair and calling me beautiful. I miss wasting the day with you. You didn't text me. Do you think of me? I know you flirt with new girls...is it an act like I hope it is? Or am I still in your mind? Every now and again I feel i've been gutted and the emptiness really hurts. Sometimes I think i'll never fully get over you, just accept that we can't be, but the fantasist in me can never accept that. I miss you.

 

That made me cry. Whoever this man is, he's just as big an idiot as my ex to let you go.

[Sari]

Oh my boy... where to begin.

 

I think I'll start emotional and see where it takes me.

 

Well, I've spent my Friday night driving fast around the country lanes, listening to music that alternately makes me weep and feel strong. The country lanes that we visited last Saturday, looking for a house to call a home for you, me, and my little kitty that you bought me for my birthday just a few months ago. I was so happy that day, I felt like we'd finally begun to put all our past behind us, like this time we would make it. You were so boyant and happy, we were like a couple who had never had a care in the world past loving each other. People must have looked at us in envy, just like I'm looking at people now. Who would have guessed that just a few hours later you would be telling me that you'd met someone else, and didn't want 'us' anymore. You said you could've gone down one of two paths; Marriage, kids and a home with me or the freedom to do what you want, see whom you choose. And you told me that you'd picked the latter, and there was no going back. I held your hand and tried to be dignified, didn't beg, didn't yell, just told you how much I love you. And you told me you loved me too, and I know you meant it, which makes this harder, maybe. When you looked back at me through the car window, I blew you a kiss and my life died.

 

How can you leave me after nearly 5 years together bubs? I know I've hurt you so much in the past and we've had issues, and you know you hurt me so much when you left the first time 2 years ago. Couldn't you have forgiven me for being clingy and sad lately? I explained it was only while I had so much short-term stress in my life, I hoped you understood. But we both know that you can only live in the moment, and unfortunately the moment you decided to let me go was obviously a moment you couldn't see us working anymore. I wonder if anything's changed? I'm assuming as you like this other woman, and she likes you, that you've just decided to sweep our wonderful, wonderful relationship under the rug and to get on with having the fun you seemed so sure I would stop you from having.

 

I've got to admit something to you my beautiful boy. I did still have feelings for E while we were together, I don't know why. I think maybe because you hurt me so much when you left, and he was there to pick up the pieces, albeit for only a short while and he certainly didn't have my best interests at heart. I think something was missing in our relationship for the last few years, the sexual passion, and we both knew it, we just didn't know how to overcome it. I just wanted to say, you are the most beautiful, perfect boy I have ever known and it was my own issues holding me back from being the girlfriend you needed, and giving you the validation you needed to feel attractive. For that I'm so sorry, I never meant to push you away, I was just in so much emotional pain after what happened in 2007. I guess I never dealt with it properly. I tried, but counselling didn't seem to work for that. I feel sick to think that this other girl will be there to give you all I couldn't now, all I wanted so much to give you.

 

I just can't believe you've gone again, after all you said last time about making the biggest mistake of your life letting me go, and that you'd love and worship me forever if only I'd take you back. I trusted you so willingly, I was arrogant I guess, but you knew really that I was just so happy to have you back in my arms my love. Why couldn't you talk to me about it? You say you've been feeling this way for a couple of months, I asked you several times if anything was wrong on the rare occasions that you let it show, and you promised that nothing was wrong! Why couldn't you have learnt from last time that we need to communicate? Why couldn't I have learnt?

 

Anyway, sometimes I feel mad and sometimes I feel like I will surely die without you, but right now I only feel a deep sadness that something so beautiful has died. And I want to thank you. You helped me through some really hard times and helped me mature in to a woman who is ready for commitment and true love, not stupid Hollywood stuff like I used to want. I love you like family my angel. I would still stay with you in the middle of the ocean if our plane crashed, never leave you. I can't believe I'm finally all grown up, and now I have to find someone else to share it with. But if that's the way it has to be, then so be it. I'm ready for real commitment, marriage, kids, the works, and I'm not going to be able to hold on to you if I want to find it. Even though you are 32 you're still not ready. So I have to let you go. Oh god I don't want to. Even as I type this you are probably with that other girl, having a great time, while I sit in my parent's study typing this. This time last week we were cuddled up in bed watching a film. I'd give anything for one last night with you, just to hold you and tell you how I love you so. Because I do my darling darling boy. And I feel so stupid for letting your feelings die.

 

I guess I have to go now, although I could type forever to feel you near. I hope you have a happy life whether I am in it or not, but I can only pray that you please realise that what we had was so special and real and hurry home to me soon. I love you so much.

 

Love little one x

[carrie3107]

Saw u today like always on a weeekend. My heart had a flitter. U came over and pulled me aside. He told me my mates had been slagging me off to him and he defended me and that he care for me. So wanna text him to say i care for him as well.

[Nikki Sahagin]

That made me cry. Whoever this man is, he's just as big an idiot as my ex to let you go.

 

Thankyou

[yume]

I had a great night last night but when I came home I thought of you. I miss going home to you and hugging you to sleep. I miss you stroking my hair and calling me beautiful. I miss wasting the day with you. You didn't text me. Do you think of me? I know you flirt with new girls...is it an act like I hope it is? Or am I still in your mind? Every now and again I feel i've been gutted and the emptiness really hurts. Sometimes I think i'll never fully get over you, just accept that we can't be, but the fantasist in me can never accept that. I miss you.

 

How I feel to a T.

 

--

 

right now, I'm just afraid I'm never going to stop loving you.

 

I saw you limping yesterday and it was automatic for me to say "Are you okay?"

 

It seemed like an eternity for you to turn around and see that it was me talking to you...and you said something I couldn't understand, so I said "what?" and you said it again...but I still couldn't hear you..

 

It tears me up inside that this is what we've been reduced to. You mumble at me now instead of talking to me.

 

Why did I have to open my mouth?

 

Can you at least see that I still care about you?

Edited May 16, 2010 by yume

[Tamia78]

Nate,

 

I had to write one last time to tell you that I'm coping. I've made it! I still think of you from time to time, and sometimes the longing is there for the person you used to be, but it's ok. I'm happy. No, really, I'm happy without you. I have no desire to look at your pics, your FB, your email....nothing. I really do hope all is well with you. I think you will be thinking about me for a long time, even tho you are probably in a relationship. But that's only because you've never healed from any of your relationships, you just jump from one to another. I gave myself time to heal, and I'm still healing, but I found how just how amazing of a person I really am, and how much you will miss out on from me. I found an amazing guy, Nathan. We found each other, and he's made no promises like you did. We simply are just enjoying each other's company. We like being with each other, no rushing into anything, no "I love you's", no sex (for now--I'm sure even that will be amazing), we're taking it slow- as we should.

I am so ready for this. I've never really experienced an actual healthy relationship. If this is what it's like, I should've not picked up the phone when you called me back after breaking up with me the first time. This man is different in so many ways, and it's refreshing to know that he likes me because I'm ME, not because I look a certain way, or I'm different from his ex. He likes my personality, he likes the way I look, and I like him alot too. I don't know where this is going, but I'm not afraid of where it's going like I was with you. You constantly kept me on my toes trying to please you when you KNEW it was never going to happen. Even if this guy and I break up eventually, it's okay, I think, because he never promised me anything. We're getting to know each other, and I like it that way.

 

I will always have a little place in my heart for you, and my heart misses who you pretended to be before I met the real Nathan. I'm moving on, baby. You lost.

 

--T

[jv032889]

D,

 

You hurt me tremendously. I don't know why I stuck around for 4 years.

D, You told me you did everything you could to push me away but I wouldn't budge. I'm not you. I don't run away from my problems. I deal with them. That is your problem. You run, run, run. Typical Danielle behavior. Please, don't ever lie to my family again. You told my dad it was my fault the relationship failed. NO, THIS IS NOT TRUE. IT WAS ALWAYS YOU. I take responsibility for my actions.

I will no longer be a doormat for you to wipe ur feet on. I deserve better than that. I'm an amazing women. My head is held high for the world to see. I love my life. I truly do.

[NABDP]

Been in NC for over a month after a breakup back in late March, been feeling temptations to contact her despite her cheating, as I continue to regret MY part in what led to us growing apart...No link to a full story or anything, but just posting this here so I'm not tempted to send it to her...Just hating myself for missing her and craving that stupid contact.

It's been almost 2 months since we talked and I'm doing great. This has really allowed me to take a step back and reflect on the time we had together as well as the unfortunate way it all ended suddenly back in March. Emotions were running high and I feel like we both didn't know how to handle it, as it continued to just spiral out of control, to the point where we had no other choice to but to end up where we both are today.

 

I think you and I both agree that what you did was wrong. There were much better ways we could have ended things, but I think by the time we even started talking about us, you had already decided you were done and it was too late. I don't know if this even matters to you at all, but I do want you to know I have forgiven you for what happened. You don't need it, I realize, but I wanted you to know that I did anyway. Not to condone it, I think it was bad judgment on your part, but you were unhappy, you are human, and we all make mistakes. I am not going to look back on 4 years of being a part of each others lives, every single day, with anger or resentment. Just because it ended that way does not totally negate all the memories and good times I had with you, nor does it make me hate you.

 

There were a lot of things wrong with us that I ignored, but I also know that they could have been fixed. It would have taken work on both our parts, but we could have done it. Our sex life was atrocious, I'll be the first to admit it, and wow have I ever learned a lot about that. We didn't talk enough. We didn't do things together. We really did stay home too much. And the idea of having a big wedding was a mistake. It's been tough to look in the mirror and take responsibility for my contributions to what led to us splitting up, but that's what I'm doing. It's hard to admit when to yourself when you have taken someone for granted, but that's what I did.

 

Obviously with you now dating someone else, I need to keep you out of my life, I'm sure you can understand all that. But I did want to at least write you this one last time to let you know where I stood in all of this. And I also wanted to thank you for the good memories and lessons I will carry from our years together, and wish you a lot of happiness as you move on. Take care of yourself.