Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[NYC_butterfly]

Hey TQ,

 

don't worry, it's not going to take long. I remember how incredibly busy and important your life is, and how after 3.5 years of dating I failed to get on a list of your priorities.

 

I wonder if you ever think about me.

 

I think about you every day, still. You showed me that life can be an utter misery, when minutes drag on like years, when breathing is like inhaling fire, when I want to crawl out of my skin and disperse in the air, because even being nothing is better than being me. I want to take up drugs, drinking, whoring, roaming and black magic, just to silence the roaring hole you left in me.

You also showed me the possibility of elation, of meeting someone who is seeing the better me that even I doubt sometimes.

"I don't think two people could have been happier than we have," is a quotation, someone else's words that I'll use to describe how I felt, because my own words fail me when I try to speak about you.

 

My only wish is that when you knew your love was gone, you would let me know (in words), instead of gradually disappearing from my life, forcing me to break up with you when I still loved you. I wish I never had to go through the last year of convincing myself we are still together, when you just couldn't make up your mind whether you still wanted to be with me.

 

I believe there is a reason for all that happen. I can't really see it yet, but I believe I'll find out soon.

[LoveTruthChaos]

This is probably the most astounding post of strength and conviction I have ever read on LS....T&C....excellent and strong post...a lesson to us all.

 

Thank you very much, Trippi

 

I wrote that ages ago, I'm surprised anyone read that far back! I printed it and stuck it in my journal, and I read it every day for a while, but I no longer feel the need to.

 

Which brings me to my next post....

[LoveTruthChaos]

Hey there R,

 

I'm moving house now, and along the way, I keep finding little reminders of you. I put them all into a (very small) box, and packed them away, not to be seen again for a while yet.

 

I found photos of the two of us. Looking at your face barely registers any emotion anymore. Soon, you will be gone from my mind, and I will be happy.

 

My last word to you was 'goodbye'.

The day that will be the last word to myself is coming.

[wrencn]

I am growing to despise you.

[smk]

You once told me you believed in us. You once told me that in your 29 years I was the only person to make you feel this way.... You once told me that you loved me and wanted to spend the rest of your life with me yet at you gave up on us at the first hint of a trouble... You left me at the first sign of trouble caused by other people... You told me you hated having your picture taken yet your friend (who you described as a loser) has your pic on his fb taken in the last week...

 

What did I ever do to you to feel this pain and grief??? All I did was love you and accept you and change myself for you so that I could become a better person for the both of us... In the last 6 weeks I have travelled to the depths of hell and still see no sign of leaving...my love for you is still growing each day, you once told me that you didn't believe that I loved you, but here I am with my heart laid out bare for you.... My love for you grows each moment that passes even though you are no longer there.... Now do you believe me??? I hope that you do find the happiness and peace that you had always sought with or without me...

 

I love you more than life it self because you were my life, for the first time in my life I was content with everything in my life....

[LikeCharlotte]

W-

How are you going to go and say THAT?!? You have given women with less than half of what I've got the benefit of doubt. You've attempted relationships that were impossible. How on the g*da*** f*** are you going to sit there, tell me that you LOVE me but nothing lasts and it wouldn't work out?!? Funny, you are rejecting me... As if I didn't have enough on my plate. I am calling you an idiot. I am hurt. Open your eyes.

To be continued

[LikeCharlotte]

W-

Cont.

Has it ever once occured to you that I do not want that? Get out of your head and LOOK at me. I have a man. If I wanted you in that way Id let you know. Rejection was not necessary. Thanks for making me feel like s***.

-Charlotte

[cookie2]

T,

You asked me to take you for a dirty weekend, in full knowledge that the last time you spread your legs it was him between them. No wonder you couldn't do it with me, that's called GUILT.

 

You said you couldn't talk to me any more; well I'm not surprised, when you've got that on your conscience. If I hadn't busted you, you'd be there right now with him, and I'd be wondering what I could do to help our marriage when you got back.

 

You took me shopping to Ann Summers, knowing that the PVC dress I bought for you was not for me to see, but for him.

 

You cuddled me watching TV, all the while sending dirty texts to him. I never asked who you were writing to or what you were writing, out of respect for your privacy, and you abused that trust.

 

I can't believe that you resorted to adultery after just 9 months of marriage. We were so good together. Did it mean so little that you would do that rather than try to work it out?

 

You know you've given up the best thing that ever happened to you, and you'll never find anyone as good as me again. Especially not him, he used and abused you and you can't even see that, even in hindsight. If you chose that over a good person like me then you're going to have a very unhappy future. HAHA you deserve it for what you're putting me through.

 

I still love you and I'd take you back in a heartbeat.

 

Oh I don't know. My head hurts.

[ngo_ng]

Although I am getting over you this is a letter that would have been sent.

 

If I was an angry man, if I was disrespectful, if I hadn't matured then this would be what you would have read.

 

To start off, what is wrong with you? breaking up with me because you couldn't deal with my father. What a lame excuse, seriously... I admit that I would not have acted without you freaking out but once I had talked with my father, which btw was not an easy feat, you still claim that all of our negative past makes it impossible for us to be together.

 

I begged, I cried, I begged some more. Do you know how hard it is for me to actually do that, to go against my ego and turn my heart inside out? I realized my love for you was undying and unconditional and wanted all the best for you so I subsided. You said you needed your space, you said you wanted to be single, but when you felt lonely, who was it that would be there for you to hold you at night. Although we weren't together, every time you called, I answered. Every time you cried, I was there to make you feel better. We spent the best time of our lives these past few weeks and you saw the change in me. You claimed that you still needed your space and you met him and it grew into something that I dreaded. Being one that loves and respects your privacy I did not intervene, you wanted your space I gave it to you. You were flirting with him on the computer and by text when I was there next to you wanting to spend good times with you. Now, you decide you want him all of a sudden. What is this change of heart...why so soon. I thought you wanted time to figure out what you wanted. You claim that this is what you want now. I respectfully bowed down, and let you have your happiness while inflicting sorrow on myself.

 

I know I did the wrong thing by looking his name up on your cell phone but I had to talk to him. I was being a gentleman and telling him he was a lucky guy and how I envy him and wished him all the best. I even held back from contacting you because he was too insecure to let you talk to me. Don't you realize that you are being manipulated? You are his and he is your rebound relationship...he is 25, and couldn't get any action with his 17-18 year old ex girl friend so he got pissed off and dumped her and jumped on the occasion when we were at our weakest while reconciling into something beautiful. You are so blindly under his spell that you believe everything he tells you, he tells you to be angry at me because I invaded your privacy. He is making me look like the bad guy when in truth I am mature about this and was a perfect gentleman yesterday when not even 4 days after you dump me for him he shows up at our friends birthday and just makes out with you and crashes the party in front of everyone. I greeted him, I felt no resentment towards you I was nice to you and him. I even held myself back not to act irrationally. When you first met me, I wouldn't care...last year, or few months ago I would have punched his teeth out and made things worst for the lack of respect both you and him have shown me and my friends. I took it all in and showed the greatest level of respect I could. I have matured a lot.

 

Now I assume you are still angry at me and he has made you even more angry at me. He publicly writes slurs about me on facebook how you should not be angry at douchebags and a_holes because they exist just so that the world appreciates people like him better. I laugh at how vain he is and how much of a spineless scum bag he is by manipulating you to believe this load of crap. He is so afraid of me, of how you still have feelings for me, on our past, he offers you all the material goods you can buy and gives you all this to feed his sexual needs. I just can't believe you can't see past his wall of illusions. So much for your much needed space. It is such a shame, that I have changed and you have not recognized it, in fact you despise me because he makes you do so. It is a shame that I have the ability to go out there and get any woman, and I don't because I am still in love with you. I met so many old friends and new women recently and it is sad that I can only think of you and how far apart we are now. My friends think you act like a slut, and I should agree but I go to your defense. Well you know what? I am moving on. I've made up my mind, you are not worth my being sad. The new me is too good for you. I hope you to be happy, but if you aren't, don't come running back to me. I will not take you back that easily. You have hurt me. I will have to trust you again to let you have an opportunity to try with the new me.

 

I wish I could say: "good riddance!" but it isn't true at all. that's not how I think but I feel that it is a big shame.

 

As for you mister T, I can understand the motive to do all these back handed manipulative ploys but in the end, who are you deceiving? I hope you enjoy the woman I've built up for you, the perfect lady. I taught her everything she knows, so enjoy it while it lasts. Because you dipsh*t scumbag, all the money in the world will not equate to true love. You do realize that I will always be in her mind whether it is good or bad. You will always be in my shadows as your sincerity is nothing but cowardice. You can insult me all you want, I am a mountain with unshakable foundations, all you do can only irritate the surface. If only you could go and find a girl on your own without resorting to manipulation I would applaud you but you can't, can you? So you use your deceptions to make the one girl I love to hate me so that you can have her. If it wasn't for her, I would destroy you. Few months back, I would have sent you to the hospital you slug. For now, this gentleman will tolerate your lack of respect but do not push your luck. The more you deceive her the more enemies you make so beware.

 

This was if I was an immature version of myself in earlier months. Now, I will post this and watch as my childish past leaves my mind so that I can continue to my path of healing.

[Sonolumino]

Here's the letter I should send, the one you deserve to read.

 

First off, you bitch. Listen up. I loved you. I loved you unconditionally. You tell me "We grew apart". Why do you think that was? Maybe it was because I actually sacrificed for this relationship. I changed my behaviors and my mannerisms because they began to annoy you. For the last month I busted my ass to make you happy because you told me "I'm going through a change that needs to happen on my own". I respected you and I respected your space. I even asked if it was me or this relationship, and you denied it. You played me well, I must say. Do you know why I did all of these things for you? BECAUSE IT WAS WORTH IT TO ME. We were apart for 9 months out of the year, and I had many, many opportunities to cheat on you and I never did. You would've never found out either. How dare you just brush me off after 3 years and say "when you're away I don't feel like we're in a real relationship". Really??? After I told you that I was glad that we were both mature enough to deal with the stresses of not seeing each other all the time, because we knew it was going to lead to something better. To something permanent. You can't see that though can you? You can't see past the small little town that you're from. I don't understand why it wasn't worth it to you. I don't understand how you can't have an ounce of foresight in your body that you would throw this all away. Instead of dealing with the vast "2.5 hour difference" between us like an adult, you take the easy way out. You make me feel like you never loved me. You even had the nerve to tell me "this isn't how I wanted it to end". But, you did want it to end in some way didn't you. You will never find someone out there who will love you like I do. After all our time together, I still got butterflies whenever I held your hand, or when you rested your head on my shoulder. I still thought about you every morning and every night. I loved you more than I loved myself. I would die for you. You will never find that again. I don't know why I did though, as obviously you weren't worth it. It was stupid of me to even think you could exceed your mental capacity one bit and appreciate my piano playing, or have an intellectual conversation. I'm angry at myself for falling so deeply, madly, and passionately in love with you. I'm sorry you are so damn emotionally needy that you'll probably jump into a relationship with the next guy who gives you a second look. I cried for you enough. Grow up.

 

Sincerely,

The guy who put up with all your bull**** and cranky ass moods, and the one who didn't deserve any of it.

[Username37]

So I've been on NC and you text me out of the blue.

 

You're wondering when we'll be friends again.

 

You dumped me. You want me out. Your wish has been granted.

[bonpaw2008]

GD it Mark get out of my head! I understand why this happened, you are absolutely right I don't listen. I didn't listen to all the times that you told me that this was going to happen. How many times did you say that you weren't ready? Why were your actions different??? Why did you finally CAVE and give in and love me? F you! How could I have put so much faith in this and us that I feel like I have nothing left?? How could I just ignore my instincts and feelings knowing that you were never really there???? How could I blame myself for all the times you pulled away, like it was my fault??? This is not my fault you selfish prick this is all about you. Stop attacking me, stop contacting me, I get it. I get that you never gave a **** about me, I get that I am not important enough to fight for. Stop telling me that this is not about me, duh dumb ****! This is about you, you are ****ed up, you are losing the best thing that you will EVER have, and I can't wait until I get to the point where I can rub that totally in your face. F you F you F you!

[LoveTruthChaos]

Thanks for setting me free.

I've just started to live out the first of many wonderful dreams.

None of them were ever going to include you.

 

Have fun with your hopes and dreams...all of which involve sitting in front of Facebook like a fly stuck in a toffee, talking to your 'friends' that you never see in real life, and feeding into 'nostalgia' so much that you're living your life BACKWARDS.

 

Maybe if you weren't so lazy, your life would be going somewhere.

I'm looking at you in the rear view mirror, waving goodbye as I drive away.

This is where the road divides now - mine lies ahead, while you continue to run backwards.

 

I love being 26.

Don't EVER think that I don't know I'm in the best years of my life.

I'm certainly not wasting them, or my future, on you!

[LikeCharlotte]

You just do not get it, do you? I'm cutting the line "friend". Leave it alone or I am going to get nasty. Stop trying to put words and feelings in my mouth and then telling me how you do not want to hurt me. I am not saying this crap. You are! I've told you twice now. I've always been sweet to you. Back off. Warnings are over. Back the F*** off. You haven't the slightest idea what you are talking about. I do not want you in that way. I repeat I am not interested in a relationship with you. Keep it up and I will tell you why and I will be nothing to you at all. Please, don't make me do that. If you care so much then listen. Hear me say this. I do not want a relationship with you. You cannot hurt me because I am not feeling the things you insist that I feel. I like you. I really do care about you very very much but honey, do not flatter yourself. I am complimentary to you because I like you and I want you to feel good about you. We have fun together and I like being your friend. I don't have to be. Is it really worth all that just because you aren't listening. Its getting weird because of you. Ugh. Why can't you see that.

[LoveTruthChaos]

Remember our first date?

Remember how I was flying home the next day?

Remember when I told you not to wait for me?

 

Why did you bother to twist my arm to make us wait for each other, when you knew full well that you had no intention to follow through?

 

I'm not interested in silly little relationship games anymore.

The next one will be forever.

Thanks for at least making me realise that.

[fresco]

Hey S, remember when we first met and you told me you weren't shallow like all the other girls and how you could never hurt me like they did? And remember all those times you wouldn't let me get off the phone without telling you i loved you back, knowing full well you never meant a word of it? And how about all those times you told me i was the best guy in the world and you are so glad you found me and that you couldn't imagine living a day without me?

 

Good job being a liar. But its ok i've told a few lies myself. Remember all those times i said you can make it into the army if you really wanted to? I lied. Not only are you too fat, your hearing is also terrible. Neither of those will help you get in any faster. And remember all those times i said you were beautiful? I lied. You're a disgusting person inside and out and you make me sick. And remember all those times i said a word and you had no idea what it meant and i said you are still smart to me? I lied. Your potential is as limited as your stunted vocabulary.

 

P.S i hope you get crabs

 

 

i feel somewhat better now

[bluz73]

I have picked up the pieces and moved only finally, you got your wish I am gone, i am actually proud I made it thru without sleeping around or rebounding, I just doing me and living for me for once in my life and It feels good.

So yeah I know all about your suave style in trying to keep your girl, with all your mushy messages and doing everything she likes, now suddenly you like, everything to please her and never doing anything that you actually like. This is how you were with me in the beginning but It will get old and all this fun and games will wear off when reality sets and and she has to become an adult and not a fun party time teenager.

I hope she leaves you in the dust and then you will feel used and hurt like I did.

I actually hate you, I no longer feel any sort of love or desire for you.

I think you are fat and unattractive and unhealthy and careless and I am ashamed I allowed myself to even let you in my life all those years.

I deserved better all along but I was too blind to see.

You think your all funny and ego trippin on having a high school girl want your old ass, wait til she sees the real you, the guy who is out for pleasing himself. I give it a lil more time and the ball will drop and I will have the last laugh.

So move off with her to her state, get married have some kids, imagine that...i already know the outcome in todays world.

Do me a favor when it does, dont come looking for me, dont you dare ever let that happen..you disgust me and I want no parts of you not even as a friend, you ruined ur chance in the way u treated me in the end.

your a cold hearted pig and I want to pretend that u were just a dream...I am almost there!

[Username37]

You broke contact 4 times already.

You told me we shouldn't talk over the summer

What are you doing to me? What do you want?

Did you finally realize that your FWB doesn't give two ****s about you?

I can't believe the new you.

Who the **** are you?

[marmaliade]

You were the worst thing that happened to me and I gave you so much...

[MixedMinh]

I believe it's been 4 months now. Life has been much easier and happiness comes often now, especially in the past month. I can say I'm on the right path if the right path is moving on. But out of all my strong days there are days like these where the truth is you're still very strong in my heart. Still to this day when I think about love I think about us. The optimistic side of me keeps saying that I'm so thankful to have had loved you and had you love me back, so I'm going to stick with that. I miss you so much and regardless of what happens I sincerely want you to be at your happiest.

[LoveTruthChaos]

Hi R!

 

Just some random thoughts as of late. I'm feeling so damn positive all of a sudden. I barely think of you anymore. My memories of the two of us are fading faster than I would have ever imagined, and you know...when I think of you, I think only of what I never want to repeat again.

 

Once upon a time I would have doubted how long that feeling would last.

This time, I can feel it's permanent, and it's gonna grow stronger from here.

 

It's really almost time to say goodbye now

[smk]

Just wanted to say thank you... Thank you for showing me what it feels like to love and be loved... We may no longer be together but that doesn't mean o stopped loving you any less... You will always have a special place in my heart... Love you...

[Achlys]

I miss you so much. Why are you so angry? Why wont you come home?

[Username37]

Been thinking of you again.

 

You wish the mind erasing procedure from Eternal Sunshine was real?

 

You missed the whole point of the movie.

Even though you BROKE my heart. I will always cherish the memories we shared. I enjoyed our relationship. Sorry it was a waste of time to you. **** you

[cookie2]

When are you going to come pick up your *****?