Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[SassyKitten]

What I want to say right now, in a nutshell....

 

**** you for deceiving me, **** you for making me love you, and most of all, **** you for damaging me right when I have finals!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Gettingtired]

I knew I should'nt have let myself fall for you, just like I told you. I was ready to accept that our "relationship" was only going to be temporary.

 

But you said "What's the point in that". So I thought why not, some thing may come of this.

 

Well, the point would've been I wouldn't be feeling like I am now if I'd held back my feelings.

I wouldn't have cared that you slept with some other guy the day after we went out for your birthday, the day after I spent £200 I didn't have to spend on you.

I wouldn't have cared that you constantly called me a C U N T, constantly mentioned how you didn't like the clothes I wore, called me a perve when I looked at you when you were naked.

 

It may have been only 6 weeks that we had together, but time is irrelavent [sp?].

It meant a lot to me, obviously not to you.

Just convenience for you really wasn't it. You were in your 3rd Year at University, studying for your finals, so couldn't go out, so you thought you might as well have some fun with the guy in the office.

I helped you with your revision, f u c k!!, I even gave you some exam questions as you were struggling so much.

 

You said "we're not Facebook official" but we weren't "F-Buddies as I have more respect for myself". Turns out you had no respect for me though.

 

I hate you, I hate myself. I hate what I became when I checked your facebook account and found out what you did. I hate that everyday I go to work I'm reminded of what once was. I hate that I'm still thinking about you.

 

Maybe I am bipolar, unstable, or maybe I was just upset about what happened between us and you couldn't see that as you're such a selfish evil little bitch!!

[mannpho]

I am so screwed up Im reading help books,today Im going to In Patient Pscy care, Im on meds and my MS has flared up so bad Ive been hospitalized. In addition to all this my wifes death anniversary is coming on the 17th. So screwed up I cant even begin to say. I posted a thread with my ex being matched for me on the EH....site.

 

I have a bday card signed should I mail it to the bitch? She is so heartless and bitter toward me.

 

Im pathetic and yet still love her just wish she loved me too. Looks like from the beginning she neve was is love with. Im here writing this and drinking just to drown out all this pain and emotions

 

Please talk to me. I wake up everyday knowing she is so happy looking on line for new men and I as we all are heartbroken.

[kjayscopio]

The past two months have been the worst for me. My moods go from extremely happy to darkened sadness. I really thought I was over you which I think I am but you never gave me the closure I thought I deserved. After dating for so long and things seeming so perfect you went behind my back, cheated, got pregnant and engaged while you still called and told me how you loved me, were my gf, and soulmate. What hurt me the most is when I found out you denied everything then when your husband found out you chased me out of your life like I was a complete stranger, a dog when I never wronged you. You dumped me via text message and said all those ****ed up things to me. You lied through your teeth that we broke up a long-time ago even though I had proof I let you have your lil slice of cake. I travelled 26 hrs to come see you and this is how u re-payed me when I arrived.

 

Well I really hope he's making you happy one day you will soon realize that you can't find happiness by making other people miserable. May you reap what you sow

[HighPlainsDrifter]

Hey XXX,

 

So have you had time to think at all about everything? I think you know everything I said was true. I wish you wouldn't fight the feelings you have inside you, and what you have expressed to me. I know you are still trying to get your divorce finished, but I think that I could help you with that transition.

 

I know we were supposed to get together last week, and I understand you panicking about it. I don't want to put any pressure on you. I just want you to look me in the face and tell me you don't still feel the same way you did when we were together. Tell me that and I will go in peace.

 

While I do think we could work this out. We just have to be honest with each other if you think we can't work this out. I need you to look me in the face and tell me how you truly feel instead of messing me up with sappy emails.

 

Please XXX... Give me that courtesy at least...

 

And of course, I miss you too and think about you all the time....

 

HPD

[aeren944]

So, I'm pretty much over you... at least mentally. I know that you were holding me down, that I'm a much better person than you convinced me I was. I loved you with everything I had... I waited for you, with our daughter, for 3 years while you were in prison. I ****ing cried that you were in there, that they wouldn't let me see you... that I had to do all the stuff alone. Then, you get out, and I send you every little bit of money I could get together, just so you could save up for our new baby, and move out here. Finally, all that happens, and you go into trying to change me into a different person, slowly destroying me from within... until, you finally waited till I'd proposed, and you'd accepted, and we'd bought a house... then you cheated on me, and threw my life... my commitment... my heart to the curb.

 

Thing is, emotionally, I'm not over you. I can be fine until I have to talk to you or see you... then I know I'm not. I ****ing hate that you have that power over me still... I ****ing hate that I think I'm LESS of a person because I don't have you. **** you and your girlfriend. I hope I can forget soon, because I don't want to hope for your heartbreak and your pain... I just want to get as far away from you as I can... I don't ever want to be your friend... I don't ever want to show you anything about me... I honestly DON'T hope you're happy...

[SnowAngel3]

J,

 

Did you ever truly care about me? Did you ever really "love me" even though you said "I love you" countless times? If you even truly cared about me, why the f**k did you add in "Looking for: Dating" on facebook and put back your online dating profile in less than 24 hours since you broke up with me??? Were you ever as serious about me as I was about you? Then why the f**k did you only disable your dating profile, while I actually deleted mine completely? Did you do that so you can immediately start looking again after this "fling" you've had with me ends? F**K YOU for screwing with my feelings, my love, and my mind. I F**KING HATE YOU.

 

I had loved you with my heart and kept you in my thoughts every waking moment. In those five months with you, I have given you my deepest and most accepting love, even to the point of deceiving myself and ignoring some red flags I saw in you which I had believed to be negatives in your personality that I could accept.

 

Now that I think back, I realize that you did so many superficial gestures which I thought were "romantic" at the time. I realize that those gestures were done to make me believe that you were true to me. You successfully fooled me into thinking that you really loved me. What a D A M N JERK you are!

 

You know what I hate most? I hate how you basically listed all the things I did wrong in that break up e-mail you sent, and I allowed you to make me feel inferior. I can't believe I thought what you said made sense! With my clear and logical head now, I can honestly say how pathetically selfish and manipulative you were. You said you wish I'll "learn" something from our "relationship", like I was the one who ruined the relationship? Well the sad thing is, you will never "learn" something because you are so self-centered and pathetic to believe you did everything right and are so "giving".

 

When you finally came clean with how much you resented me for not paying most of the time, you showed me how truly "calculating" you are. I wonder how early on in the relationship you started counting the money.

 

If you were to really "count", you would remember that I kept offering to go dutch with you through the first two months we had been together and yet you never accepted, so I thought you didn't like it. Also, whenever I asked you to go to a food place with me, I would pay for it. From time to time, I would also make you these "care packages" that included many snacks and chocolates you enjoyed. I had given you a handmade present for our third "monthiversary". When we go to museums, I would pay for us because the admission price was suggested donation. Also, my mom would sometimes give you some of the food she made.

 

Most of all, you KNEW FROM THE BEGINNING that I am a college student without a job while you're a working professional. You were completely aware of the financial limitations I have. I guess you were just too self-centered to be considerate and think about things that I do for you. And I guess my deep love for you never did worth a D A M N to you, because you only counted the gestures (which can easily be faked as you have proved). Everything I did for you was from the heart.

 

Thank goodness I have already sent you back every gift you ever gave me before you even asked me to, to show you how much I am not the gold digger you think I am.

 

I can NEVER wish you happiness.

[LoveTruthChaos]

I hardly think about you anymore.

Once, when I would have wished for your Karma, I now no longer care.

I think about you and your new girlfriend, and I don't care.

 

I am so much better than the two of you combined.

I am setting myself up for a new chapter in my life, and it's so bright that I'm almost blinded.

 

Oh honey, don't EVER think you were good enough to be a part of it!

:laugh: :laugh:

[Username37]

I am a better person than you. You call me the phony? You're the phony. You're being someone you're not in order to make friends and be accepted. I don't know the real you. You're trash in my eyes.

[listen_to_me_please]

its been about 3 years now.

a little over 2 years NC.

broke my heart when i found out you was cheating, i wish you would of told me. Maybe we could of still been friends.

wish you the best in life.

hope you don't keep hurting people.

 

i'm not angry or hurt anymore. it took a while but i got passed it.

Edited August 4, 2010 by listen_to_me_please

[HighPlainsDrifter]

Jeeze XXX,

 

I can't believe I haven't heard from you yet. Why did you send me that email then? Why not answer the one I told you to let me go if you didn't love me anymore?

What kind of game are you playing here?

 

You can't seriously tell me you are attracted to this guy you're hanging out with. Don't you think I deserve to know the nature of your relationship? Are you spending all your time over there because you know nothing can go anywhere and that's why you're afraid to be around me?

 

Don't you think I deserve a proper explanation as to what the hell happened? You just disappeared without even breaking up with me. And you still haven't said I'm supposed to be free!

 

You need to be honest with me so I can move on with my life with the proper closure I deserve!!

[wholelottahurt]

You are throwing me away. When you do, at first it won't matter to you at all...but some day it will hit you, it will truly matter much deeper than you ever thought it could. you will think to yourself, "What have I done?" You will think "I have thrown away the one thing in my life that has been true and honest and genuine without question". I have thrown away the one person who loved me for all i am and not what i do. When you figure that out, I will be on to whatever is good enough for me and you will be just someone who didn't recognize all that I truly was and would be to you. I pity you because it will be a difficult day, just like today is to me. farewell.

[listen_to_me_please]

i was stuck on you for a long time.

your the only person i ever told said the words "i love you" too.

you was leaving me. you left me. you hurt me and blamed me.

i didn't understand, it broke me and messed up my head for 2 years.

i lost so much. i was foolish. i thought you were mine. you were fooling me, and using me for money. i give you credit for not taking total advantage of me. i was blinded. you only took what was owed to you. in the end though, you tried to walk over me. i don't know how it got so bad or went on for so long. i couldn't leave you, you had to be the one to leave me.

 

i turned the relationship down a notch. you got comfortable. i didn't know you were that type of girl, but I suppose I always knew. I fooled myself. I don't think you felt guilty at all. I think you think I deserved it. One day you'll remember and by then I would of have forgotten.

 

haven't spoken to you in years.

i still check your facebook. I know you know I look at it.

You must of known things would never be the same.

Look what you did to us.

I know you regret it.

I know you don't think about it. Maybe sometimes.

I think about it everyday for the last 2 years and 4 months.

Your not a stranger, your like the enemy.

I have to kill off the rest of the love I have for you as well as the memories some how.

 

I will find a way.

I think I need to enter into another relationship and find love again.

I'm smiling now, thinking about our relationship. You were nice and funny. Thats my mind talking though, my heart, I feel as if you stabbed me in the back. Sometimes I still can't believe it.

 

No tears anymore. Its almost gone. Soon, I won't remember.

As I'm reading my post, I realize I am talking to myself. I really need a hobby.

 

Later whore.

Edited August 5, 2010 by listen_to_me_please

[MJEW]

Posting in here instead of telling you....

 

Dear IC

 

I know that I shouldn't be doing this as it has been 2 years since we have said good-bye, and yes I know that was my doing. But I need to tell you that in these 2 years my thoughts have been of you, reminders, daily reminders of what I chose to give up, what I didn't fight for, what my choices did to our once happy family.

 

I tried very hard to push you out of my mind, to give you peace and happiness that you so deserved, I gave you a divorce because I knew that you hated me for the things that I did, I wish I was still married to you, I wish that I didn't do the things I did. I wish I wish I wish....

 

I have left him because I couldn't fake it anymore, I couldn't live in the turmoil that my heart was screaming at me, telling me no, to leave and don't look back. I thought the last 2 years, thinking that I have to make this work because this is what I choose over you"....but I couldn't lie to my heart anymore. I couldn't see myself walking down the isle to any other man but you, I can't see myself married ever again to anyone but you. Even though I wore that ring on my finger, I was embarassed when you saw it there.......

 

I told you in January that I was sorry....do you remember that conversation? I do, because it came from my heart and all I wanted was you to know that I was truly sorry, I didn't expect anything from you, I have tried many times to close the door to you and I, but for some reason I can't.

 

I can't seem to let you go....this is not a game, this is not an attempt to get you back, because right now I am not ready to give to you my everything. No, for I am still healing and I am still learning about me, for as much as I can say that I still love you, I am no good to you right now as I am. You have come so far in healing and growing, I would just be a lag in your life. And you are happy with her, I don't want to let you know any of these things because you have let me go.

 

But one day, I hope that we are in a time and place and we can come together again like we did before, out of pure luck, not looking, just happened....do you remember that night? On your birthday, I do.....

 

One day I hope that the door that I can't seem to close we can both walk through together...

 

Love.... MW

[wrencn]

D-

Thank you for leaving. I would have never left you. I would have remained miserable just for the sake of being married. I am happier now that we are apart. I'm getting stronger. My pride is back. I realize now that we could never be happy together. We want two different lives and I refuse to sacrifice my happiness to make anyone happy- even you.

[kelsmommy]

I'm so glad you're gone. I'm getting stronger and I'm doing so much better. I'm doing the things I felt I couldn't do when we were together. And I'm finding myself again. You're right - we are done. And I'm better for it.

 

I almost feel sorry for your mistress. She has another baby to take care of now. Oh well.

[Thorgs]

Thank you for teaching your daughter to be an honest individual. Without her I wouldn’t have learned the kind of person you really are. You are a liar, a hypocrite, greedy, and on top of it, lately just a sad excuse for a mother.

You broke up with me to be single, because you didn’t want a relationship. Little did I know you really were trying to get back with your ex husband. It now makes sense that you would get mad at me when I would pick up your phone. He turned you down so now you’re going out all the time to the bar and getting trashed while trying to hook up with any man who has a fat paycheck. News flash, none of them will ever love you as much as I did and knowing that will eat you alive. Your daughters are at home scared and hurting while you are out living the life of a girl in her young 20’s. Get your head out of your ass and wake up. When they need you the most, you abandon them. When I needed you the most, you abandoned me. You have given up on yourself and, to be honest, it’s sad. Feel free to destroy the letter I wrote you. I wrote it not knowing who you really are, but now that I know, those words would not have been written.

Take care.

X

PS – Call me crazy, but I still love you and wish I could help you be a better person.

[bonpaw2008]

Ugh I miss you. I miss the thought of you. I miss how easy it was with us, how easy we fell together and became such a big part of each other's lives. I miss you touching me, I miss the way you looked at me and told me how beautiful I was and that you didn't deserve me. I miss your kiss and the way that I fit perfectly in your arm. I miss talking to you constantly, I miss your humor, I miss the awesome life that I had 17 days ago and how happy I was...

 

I am lonely and I don't want to start again. Seems like such a daunting task to try to have all of those things with someone else....but looking back at all the above I guess that how great I thought everything was was just my own delusion. How can you not miss all of that??

 

I want to ask you if I can spend the night next Mon because I have to be at the airport so early, I just want to feel that bliss again of being with you no questions no fights no discussions, but I know that in just a couple weeks it will turn into this again, it always does....I am just so devastated and sad still....

Edited August 6, 2010 by bonpaw2008

[maria gostrey]

you visited this morning.

 

i dreamt you were a part of my big happy family. you were back and asking for forgiveness. i was cold and distant. you sat next to me on the couch while my father interrogated you. my sister hated you and told you so. you kept rubbing your feet with mine, a gentle attempt at trying to get my attention.

 

i woke up missing you raw. i can't believe i'll never see you or meet you. it hurts so much that really, in the early hours of this morning you were most likely cuddling up to that girl you chose over me.

 

 

why her kev? why her?

[cdt76]

Dear L:

 

I truly loved. You don't know the meaning of the word. You are a shallow gutless piece of trash as well as the POS you decided to cheat with. I hate you both and I hope you get cancer. I want nothing but the worst for you both. What you did to me, left me with nothing, no money, no friends, and what you did almost destroyed my career. I will never forgive you or him. If I ever see him on the street, I will beat him to within an inch of his life for being a lying POS. I will never talk to you again and I would only love to hear news that you jumped off a bridge. The world doesn't need people like you two. The world would be a better place without you in it. Die already and take him with you.

[aeren944]

Hey,

 

It's funny... I can feel the distance and time stretching between us. A little over 3 months have passed since you ripped out my heart. Back then, I thought I was going to die... I thought I'd lost the best thing in the world... but now, I realize you were poison for me. You were killing me slowly. Now, you don't have control.

 

I'm not helpless. I'm not hiding now. I think you know that... and I think you're trying to check up on me. You texted me a whole bunch, trying to get us together for our son's birthday. I told you I wouldn't go there with you... you said ok, but I have a feeling you're curious now, and I think that's funny. You don't have any control over me, and I think you're starting to realize that. Sucks, doesn't it? I hope it hurts, cuz it's getting numb with me.

[MJEW]

Polywog.......what a great idea this is.....I just want to say thank you, I have read through the entire post and I have realize something within myself....it's ok to hurt..it's ok to feel this way...it's also going to be ok because I am healing within...

 

The last couple have of days have been great for me...I get up and get moving..my mind wonders through-out the day about him...hell it's been 2 years that its been happening...but everyday I seem to be able to cope with it a little more.....to learn to accept your mistakes and carry on...it is better because I don't have the constant reminder of the bad choice that I made 2 years ago...( that reminder being the OM in my life).

 

I guess it's just nice to be able to come on LS and see that I am not the only one in this world that is going through this....the stories are different..yet in some ways..I find something within them that helps me..

 

Thanks Polywog

Cheers to you :D:D

[bluz73]

Well, looks like "i told ya so" is in order. Told ya she would trap you with a baby. What can I say, you were unsure about having a child, but looks like you have no choice now, you are stuck with her and the kid for 18 years. I dont know why anyone of her age in this time in the world would chose to bring a child into this world, without any secure job or home for them, but I guess she needed to keep you some how.

I knew from the day you left me behind, this would happen, and ya know It didnt supriise me or even make me sad, I actually laughed cause you have no idea what you are getting yourself into. But this is your problem.

This is obviously the deal breaker of me ever being cival with you in the future. This has given me an easier way of being over you even more.

I am glad I was smart enough not to have a child with an unstable man.

[LoveTruthChaos]

Well, looks like "i told ya so" is in order. Told ya she would trap you with a baby. What can I say, you were unsure about having a child, but looks like you have no choice now, you are stuck with her and the kid for 18 years. I dont know why anyone of her age in this time in the world would chose to bring a child into this world, without any secure job or home for them, but I guess she needed to keep you some how.

I knew from the day you left me behind, this would happen, and ya know It didnt supriise me or even make me sad, I actually laughed cause you have no idea what you are getting yourself into. But this is your problem.

This is obviously the deal breaker of me ever being cival with you in the future. This has given me an easier way of being over you even more.

I am glad I was smart enough not to have a child with an unstable man.

 

Wow Bluz, congratulations honey!

You are so absolutely right.

Your story is an inspiration to me, because I am actually hoping that my ex gets trapped in the same way.

Thank for the hope! :p:laugh:

[bonpaw2008]

**** you M **** you, **** you for not caring enough about me, **** you for making me have to go back out there and do all this **** again. I don't want anyone else, I want you. I don't want to have to start all over again. **** you for being so gd selfish, **** you for being able to turn off your gd feelings like you have. **** you for not missing me, for not putting in any gd ****ing effort, **** you