collegeguy_24 Posted August 20, 2010 Share Posted August 20, 2010 Saw you on Facebook last night, I guess that means your back in town. I wanted to talk to you, but I didn't, I will remain strong and let you come to me. I will admit, I am nervous about running into you, I don't how what I will do, except simply smile, nod, and be on my way. Link to post Share on other sites
LostInTurn Posted August 20, 2010 Share Posted August 20, 2010 I was heartbroken at first. Then I was angry. Then I tried NC. Then I contacted you. Then I went NC. Then I contacted you. All you are is mean. Now, I have a new job. I was excited for 2.3 seconds and then I started to think of you again. People are me tell me I won't think of you as much. They tell me I will move on. I want to. You have no idea. I want to find a true, honest love. You claim you don't want to hear from me, yet you won't block me. You must not have any regard for my heart. Shut me out. I need to be shut out. I'm asking you. Shut me out. You should find that easy. I want this all to just go away. Link to post Share on other sites
Username37 Posted August 20, 2010 Share Posted August 20, 2010 So yeah I looked at some old pictures of you and me. You were such a fatass ya know? But here's the thing, I didn't care about your weight M. I loved you for you. And now you're hooking up with people that would've have found you attractive ONE BIT if you were still fat. I feel used. I stuck by you always and you even told me to leave you because you called yourself fat and ugly. You're beautiful on the inside and that's what matters to me. Now you're a whore. I can't believe it. You're so needy and you cannot live on your own. You hurt me so much, why the **** do I still care about you? You may be physically attractive, but inside, you're ugly and trash. And you got tired of our relationship? We couldn't do anything because we were working and we had finals. I wanted to spice our relationship up over the summer, but you and your indecisiveness and your impulsive behavior caused you to dump me. I know I stressed you out, which I'm totally sorry about. But we could've talked everything out! I noticed a change of your behavior when you started sheading a few pounds. I was actually kinda worried about you. You were losing weight rapidly and you became more....flirtatious. Then that's when you probably realized, "I can do better than him!" I feel used and it shows that 1.5 years together didn't mean jack **** to you. You probably regret the relationship too. And you want to be friends? Are you aware of the pain I'm in? Seriously. Think for yourself. Your trash friend is ruining you, and you don't even realize it. Damn your gemini ways. Link to post Share on other sites
molimo140 Posted August 20, 2010 Share Posted August 20, 2010 The funniest thing (well ironically funny anyhow) is how the last time we talked, everything you said was a god damn lie. That's what really bothers me; you could just sit there, crying, and lie right to my face. I feel stupid even for even having fought to keep things going. Your own best friend told me that she was on MY side. You are such a child and you have no idea what is good for you. Your loss. Link to post Share on other sites
LikeCharlotte Posted August 20, 2010 Share Posted August 20, 2010 You are making me nervous. I do not like it. Link to post Share on other sites
LikeCharlotte Posted August 20, 2010 Share Posted August 20, 2010 No, really, I don't know how I am supposed to act. I have to be around you sometimes but everything I do is perceived incorrectly. Im nervous. Please dont judge or attack me. I just want to be left alone if we cannot be friends. O probably have to see you tomorrow. Id rather not. Link to post Share on other sites
flyguy23 Posted August 20, 2010 Share Posted August 20, 2010 Hurts to see you are enjoying your life without me. Link to post Share on other sites
howlong Posted August 20, 2010 Share Posted August 20, 2010 This rollercoaster is so not my thing....but I'm feeling pretty good despite it all...think about you still ALL the time, and I'm STILL really tired of it. It sucks to think that I most likely rarely even cross your mind...what sucks even more is the thought of you with someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
User1029 Posted August 21, 2010 Share Posted August 21, 2010 So it's past 3 months now and I know I messed up earlier in the summer when you tried contacting me. I am still so in love with you that hearing your voice just put me in pure ecstasy and I needed to ask you questions about the relationship to try and ease the pain of this breakup. If you only knew how much pain and sacrifice I am going through this summer by giving you the time you wanted and the freedom you said you needed after the 4 years we dated. I cannot see myself with anyone else but you because something just feels so right. We go back to school in 1 week and you said that going back to school will be your "test" to see if you needed me in your life because you do not have your family there for you while you are away. I wish you could tell me how you feel, but I know you are going through a flux of emotions right now, as am I. I love you so much, and this absence apart has made my heart grow fonder. Just know that I am here.....always. Link to post Share on other sites
Username37 Posted August 21, 2010 Share Posted August 21, 2010 I read through my old messages. You loved me so much....what happened? Can we go back to that? Link to post Share on other sites
Nappeal Posted August 21, 2010 Share Posted August 21, 2010 I wish you'd just let me know I'm on your mind. Things between us faded, but there was no drama, no anger, no resentment, that led to the end. I'd like to think that sometimes you want to check up on me, but I guess its wishful thinking. I think of who you are, and I'm genuinely relieved that it ended - I couldn't forsee myself living like that for long, only to see it get worse. I know what your ex-wife went thru w you, and I could never imagine living like that. But I still just want to know I'm in your head. IDK that you could just forget how things were...the good things anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Nappeal Posted August 21, 2010 Share Posted August 21, 2010 And I can't wait to move on...I just can't wait to get on w my life. It happened w my ex-husband of 8 years, itll happen w you. I WILL feel better and I WILL be back to the old me, in time enough. I've never believed in good, solid, forever love, and you've proven to me why I shouldn't. Link to post Share on other sites
Jabez Posted August 21, 2010 Share Posted August 21, 2010 this is a song about me and my ex that I'm gonna record soon. Whether she eventually hears me or not is irrelevant but it sums up what I'm feeling I'm sick n tired of the pain / everyday / I struggle to restrain / thoughts of loneliness, anger / depression n disdain / but I can't / not again / what the **** is you playin / at, toyin with my emotions / infecting my brain / my boys try to console me / they say "homie forget that dame" / but it's too late / you've murdered me / can't put it no other way // I just wanted to be with you / but now I just wanna forget you / I try to drown you out with alcohol / but it ain't that simple / cuz when I wake up hung over / I realize that I'm not over / you, the **** am I supposed to do? / how am I gonna get past you // I've careened off the brige / n now I'm at rock bottom / cappin off every lonely night / with a bottle of straight vodka / don't even wanna go out / I can only sit back n wallow / I won't lie, it's crossed my mind / to down that pill bottle / you think it's easy for me to find someone like you / find someone as beautiful who'll listen to your problems too? / it's not, believe me, I know from my own experience / to find a girl like you / the odds are one in ten billion / when I stumbled onto you / I realized what I been needin / but since you ****in dropped me / my heart hasn't stopped bleedin / I feel empty and hollow / I no longer believe in love / n the only thing I can do now is pick the vodka up // I just wanted to be with you / but now I just wanna forget you / I try to drown you out with alcohol / but it ain't that simple / cuz when I wake up hung over / I realize that I'm not over / you, the **** am I supposed to do? / how am I gonna get past you // Link to post Share on other sites
shadow2213 Posted August 21, 2010 Share Posted August 21, 2010 Why do I still care about you? why can't I be like you and not care about anything? Link to post Share on other sites
LostInTurn Posted August 21, 2010 Share Posted August 21, 2010 Of course I still care about you. There are days I imagine what it would be like if you would agree to see me again. I would run up to you and hug you and not let go. I would cry. I probably wouldn't say much. But that doesn't even matter now. I want to write you a letter. I will hold onto it for 2 weeks of NC and see how I feel. If I want to send it at that point, I will. If not, I guess that means I'm ok and perhaps moving on. There are things I want to say but could never say because you wouldn't listen. We would just get frustrated with one another and be too mad to answer the phone. I just wanted to be heard. All I was ever asking for was a phone call. And tell me this. Tell me why you cannot tell me you do not love me? You should be able to. That would help me move on. Link to post Share on other sites
LostInTurn Posted August 21, 2010 Share Posted August 21, 2010 I can't feel like this anymore. You need to see what life is like without me. No contact from here on out. As difficult as that may be and goodness knows I just cried about it for 15 minutes, but I need to. I need to be happy again. I want me back. Maybe one day you will realize, probably. Until then, I cannot help you. Link to post Share on other sites
Iselia Posted August 22, 2010 Share Posted August 22, 2010 I need to stop thinking about you. You're too immature. You're too selfish. I feel defeated and torn up. My, how your true form has emerged. Link to post Share on other sites
nittanylion Posted August 22, 2010 Share Posted August 22, 2010 I have been NC for over 3 weeks now. Trust me, it does get better as each day passing by. I hope everyone hangs tough. Link to post Share on other sites
Iselia Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 Why is it that the longer I stay away from you, the more I miss you? You don't want me anymore. Why, why, why do I keep coming back around? I need to just let go. I know this relationship will never work unless certain issues are fixed. Does it even matter, though? I think you've moved on 100%. I think all the "I love you"s are just trying to keep me waiting... I'm your plan b. This hurts so much... I don't even know what to do anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Username37 Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 Tomorrow. Prepare to see the real me. Can't wait to see ya Link to post Share on other sites
GraceNote Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 (edited) I so miss talking to you. I miss interacting with you on Facebook, even though seeing details of your life with your family caused me so much pain. I really wish we could be just friends, but I just don't think that is possible. You're married. I'm married. And my feelings for you are just too strong, even after all these years. Today is the first day that I haven't cried because of you. And that makes me both happy and sad at the same time. Happy that I no longer have that searing pain in the middle of my chest when I think of you. Just a dull ache. But sad with the realization that I have to go on without you in my life. Just like before. Except now I know where you are and it would be so easy to contact you again. But I know I can't. Maybe some day circumstances will change and we can see if there is anything really there, or if it was all just a fantasy. Maybe we're in love with what we were 30 years ago. But, I can't help but think that we would be great together. But, I have to put those types of hopes and wishes away and get on with my life. And so do you. Be happy and know that I love and miss you so much. P.S. I was wrong about not crying today. Edited August 23, 2010 by GraceNote Link to post Share on other sites
IsItMeOrHer Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 /rantON I'm so f***ing disgusted by you. I don't trust you. I hate you. I wanted so much for us. I tried, I really tried. You and your f***king illness... all the guys who made you feel lame or handicapped, afflicted... Your lungs. Your knees. Your EVERYTHING~~~~~!!! But I took care of you. Better than anyone else. Any time! Anywhere!!! I ALWAYS looked out for you; I did everything I could think of for you! Accommodated you. Loved you. Built you up. I thought about you when I went to the store, I thought about you when I went to meetings... anything I could do to f*cking CHEERLEAD (as you put it) for you, I did it! We wanted to be King and Queen of this industry!!! All I god****ed asked from you was a little courtesy... to think of me when you did things. Don't f**king rearrange my kitchen. Don't f**king obsess over cleaning my bathroom. You did those things for YOU. Not me. So what was it? Were you suffocated? Were you judged? How about dealing with it like a f**king adult and TALKING about it, rather than "acting out" to punish me. Us. And You. Yes, you. If you had any god****ed sense of humanity, responsibility, accountability, empathy... you would have called when you were late. Or how about NOT BEING $*($^ LATE AT ALL? HOW ABOUT NOT BEING SELFISH? AND MANIPULATIVE? HOW ABOUT SOME GOD****ED INTROSPECTION AND FOLLOWING UP ON YOUR PROMISES? Self-deprecating apologies after-the-fact, every EVERY fact, without follow-through are just LIES!!! No matter what we talked about... no matter how sincerely you promised to "make sure never, ever lose you/us..." You just do the same sh*t again and again -- or WORSE -- and then blame me for not accepting your behavior! For holding you accountable! Well F*** YOU! DID THAT EVER OCCUR TO YOU? THAT THE BULL**** YOU PUT ME THROUGH IS GOING TO WEAR ON EVERY #$*$*& RELATIONSHIP YOU EVER HAVE? YOU shafted us! YOU! And YOUR FEARS! You had to prove that everything can go to Hell because it was an either/or for you. Either you get your Fairy Tale, or you get dramatic, traumatic disappointment. Well, Yes. You got what you want. You got what you deserved. ONLY I DIDN'T F**KING DESERVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU F***ED ME OVER AND YOU DON'T EVEN CARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! /rantOff By the way... I SO wish I could just call up your mom -cuz she's awesome (thanks for TAKING THAT WAY TOO!!!)- and tell her how f*cked up her daughter is!!!!!!!!!! I can. But I won't. Sigh. Link to post Share on other sites
bestrong Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 I miss the time when we were together; I miss seeing you every morning when I opened my eyes; I miss driving 2 hours just to see you fall asleep; I miss every singe thing about you; and of all, I miss you voice. I believe you didn't hurt me on purpose and you were in pain when you tried to push me away by hurting me. Maybe you felt nothing, but I'd rather believe you did that just to lessen my pain in long tern. So now, you are seeing Sandy. It hurts, but your happiness is what I care about. I hope she treats you well. I wonder when we are going to talk again. I miss you, my love. Link to post Share on other sites
Jabez Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 It's two days until my birthday. I was really looking forward to this one because it would have been the first birthday I would have had someone to spend it with beside my family. But you dropped me and now I'm dreading this one more than I could ever know. Link to post Share on other sites
molimo140 Posted August 24, 2010 Share Posted August 24, 2010 So much for staying friends, eh? I'm not going to pretend like I didn't screw up, but I repented and I wanted to fight to keep things going.. you apparently didn't feel the same way. So much for COMMUNICATION, eh? I don't know why I ever cared so much about such an immature person. Happy F*#$ing Birthday. Link to post Share on other sites
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