Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[whatarmy]

Well what's new, I had to come crawling back one more time?

 

I f#$%ing hate this right now, I hate not being able to see past it.

 

You piss me the f%ck off.

I just want to see something REAL from you...passion, desire...anything, anything that feels REAL, that feels like raw emotion.

I can't understand how apathetic you are it drives me insane!

It's incredible that you can sit there and look down on other people, how I somehow let you make me feel like less of a person, when in reality, you're the zoned out one.

 

Now I'm gonna have to start day 1 ALL OVER again.

But at least I start back at work next week, it'll be a bit easier.

[LoveTruthChaos]

It was your birthday on Monday.

On your birthday last year, we were in Montreal.

On your birthday the year before, we went on our first date.

 

Today when I opened a USA/Canada travel brochure, the page I opened it on had a photo of the hotel we stayed in, a year ago tomorrow. I remembered the morning of our check-out, and how we played around in our bed, mucking around and having so much fun being silly. I'd never felt so loved in all my life...

 

Yesterday, I rediscovered a song that sums up my life right now.

I walked into the CD store to buy the album.

I walked into the CD store and saw all the music you love, all lined up in a row.

Could have sworn that you'd put it right there in front of me.

I walked right up to the CD I was buying.

Right next to it was the CD that the girl you left me for had recommended to you.

The one that I had recommended to you while we were together.

You replaced me so easily.

 

Did you expect something from me?

A signal, a sign, a well-wishing, a gift?

 

Everyone keeps telling me that you would have been thinking of me on your birthday.

How special both the birthdays that I spent with you were.

That you would be thinking of the time we spent together.

 

I don't believe it for a minute.

 

What I do believe is this. Syncronicity is a valuable sign. Yesterday, a song kept repeating itself in my iPod so often it was enough to make me take notice. It's a song that never plays, any other day.

 

The lyrics are unintelligible, except for the repeated words...'it didn't turn out the way you wanted it to, it didn't turn out the way you wanted it, did it?'

 

Well...did it?

[LostInTurn]

I cannot handle the fact that I am so bothered about this situation right now! I really just want to hate you. You have no idea. On the other hand, I wish I could talk to you. But do I really? I don't know anymore!

 

You tried, I was pushing you away. And now I look like an a** because I'm upset. Why can't I remember I wasn't happy anymore?!?!

[LostInTurn]

Dear B,

 

I hope you have a nice time at Dave this weekend...

 

Looking back, I realize a break was needed. We both needed to take a step back as I had mentioned a few times and just breathe.

 

When I recount our relationship, I remember the dinner we had just days before the break with the 'trio of desserts'. We both did so much for one another. We both gave our all. Things did get tense. I started to pull away and I know you knew this. My reasons for doing so, are my reasons. I suppose that was my way of taking a break; rather than actually taking one.

 

When I reached out after the break. I reached out too much, I know this. I know I looked weak. I know it pushed and you hate being pushed. It was reactions to your actions. Cause from emotion.

 

I remember all the things you said to G, and how you said they were said out of anger. They were still said though. They were on the same level as the things I said. All hurtful to each other. Yet, never in a day did you apologize for speaking out of anger. I also know I said things that were mean as a reaction. I apologized because it was the right thing to do.

 

I reached out to you twice in the past 3.5 weeks. Looking back, I'm not sure why. I didn't understand why you wouldn't just avoid the texts and emails and pick up the phone. It really made me think about you as a person who couldn't have a conversation with someone.

 

I think things could have been handled differently, in a more adult fashion. I don't think it was necessary to make me feel as though I was a terrible person when that is far from the truth. I think we jumped the gun on many issues and should have been able to communicate more effectively.

 

I could have walked away sooner. Do I wish I had? Perhaps. The night it all happened, do I wish I had just left and walked away? Absolutely.

 

There are days when I wish we didn't try to accommodate in any way. Maybe things would have been different.

[Iselia]

I miss you really badly. I wish you were still here. It's hard to accept that you don't love me anymore.

[WolfRouge]

I miss you more than words can say. Why don't you miss me at all? How did you stop loving me so easily and quickly? I don't understand it at all! Feels like everything we had was a lie. Everything you said to me was a lie! I love you so much, and I do still want you back. Even after everything. But at the same time, I wish I could hate you. Just so I don't have to feel like this anymore.

 

I just want answers to all these questions going through my head. I'll probably never get those answers though.

[Anela]

I hate that I spent any time at all this year, crying over or talking to that douchebag. Not just this year, but the past two-and-a-half years. I, as everyone else tends to do, miss when I was first getting to know him, and I resent the time he took up in my life, when he was only going to turn around and lie/mess with my head. I can't believe I wasted so much time this year, missing him. Utter tosser, that's what he is.

[collegeguy_24]

I can't take it anymore. I love you, you had my heart. Now its dead, god I would give anything to have you back. I am losing my battle with reality and sanity. I've already been put on suicide watch before, and it might come again, i can't take it anymore Jen, I just can't, I want you back!

[Username37]

October, November, December....once those months come up, I'll be in so much pain. Those were our months and I want to spend it with you. But I can't. I can't be your friend and if I did become your friend, it would be so painful and you would treat me different from everyone else. You selfish bitch. You think FRIENDSHIP would make things better between us? Hell no!

 

By those months, you'll find a replacement already. I mean, you replaced me as a boyfriend in 3 weeks....

[hurt and devastated]

Guess what? I went on a date last night. Yes, A DATE. With someone that's very nice, very pretty, and I had a very good time with. You aren't the only one out there, and certainly not the only one for me anymore. It still hurts that after almost 5 years of being together, you decided the company of others is better than my company, but that was your choice. YOU live with it.

[boosh]

I thought I was turning a corner recently I really did. I was feeling better about everything between us, about my life in general, about the people I was with, EVERYTHING. I went on vacation with my friends, and had a great time for the most part, but well Saturday night was rough. Perhaps it was the alcohol, but for some reason everything, and I mean absolutely everything reminded me of you, of us, or what we had, and how great it was. I was on the verge of tears and my mood just went from good to terrible in the course of 10 minutes. I had to explain the situation to a friend who was asking, and everything she said I wanted to believe, but I just couldn't. She told me you are worth my time. You aren't worth emotional pain. You aren't worth it at all. She said you sound completely immature and unsure of what you want in life, and while the second part of that I can tend to agree with, none of the rest of it did I agree with. She's engaged by the way, so no worries there.

 

 

I miss you so much you don't even know. Seems to me you've moved on with life, even though last time I talked to you, which was a great talk by the way, and I know you'd agree, you seemed unsure of yourself, and unsure of the decision you made. It seems like you've replaced me already, 5 weeks after everything happened? Did it really mean nothing to you, that all you needed was 5 weeks total, 3 weeks after our talk? I have no words to even describe how I feel anymore. I want to be happy around people, I try to be, but I am absolutely miserable, and I hate it.

 

Nothing makes me happy anymore. I find happiness in small things, but they immediately go away because you creep into my thoughts. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.

 

I wish I could give up on this. I wish I could move along, move past even thinking about you forever, but we both know that is unrealistic and impossible. Perhaps I expected too much from you, but I can't take this. I love you so much, being away hasn't changed that one bit, as much as I wish it could, and would. I miss you. I wish everything would just fix itself and we could find comfort in each other again..

 

I...I don't even know how to end this. I'm a wreck. One day I'm fine, and the next I'm not. I know it's part of the healing process, but I can't take this anymore! I just want to be back in your life so badly.

[deux ex machina]

-----------

Edited August 30, 2010 by deux ex machina

[LoveTruthChaos]

There's a song that I listen to that reminds me of me.

I smile when I listen to it, because the song is written for me, I know it.

It was written before I was born, waiting for me to come into the world and be its essence.

It's the kind of song that you listen to.

I hope that every time you hear it, you think of me.

But...knowing you, you'll hear it and assign her to the song instead.

I know you'll do it because you'd do anything to stop my memory from haunting you, even if your association is a lie.

 

I'll always be the Rainbow.

Nothing that you will ever do will change that.

She's too vanilla to ever fit the description.

That's your problem.

Edited August 30, 2010 by LoveTruthChaos

[ChrisMc]

I'm starting to really hate you as a person. And **** do I wish that was never the case.

 

Fine we're not together anymore. I can live with that, I hope. But do you even care? Did what we have matter at all to you? Because it sure doesn't seem that way based on how easily you live your life, happy go lucky and with such joy.

 

Was I that bad to you? If so, why did you never tell me.

 

The part that makes me most angry is YOU made me this way, and then decided you no longer wanted this? Remember it was YOU who wanted marriage and kids. YOU who wanted a life together. YOU brought me to that side. And now, you just want to be single and enjoy your youth.

 

Well **** you.

 

I'd love to say I wish you the best, and I hope one day I will, but right now, nope.

 

I really didn't have to be with this way. While we could never be friends in the true sense of the word, in terms of hanging out like pals, I'd hope you'd still care about me in some way, shape or form. We spent TWO ****in years together, went through good times and bad, and you KNOW how good I was to you for a lot of it.

 

I wasn't perfect, but I supported you both financially and emotionally for 4 months TWICE when you were without a job or a hope in the world, so down on your luck that a lot of days you didn't get out of bed.

 

Now that you have a great paying job, it's out with the old, huh?

 

You know, when your whole family either abandoned you or wouldn't make that connection, how I was there for you, a shoulder to cry on.

 

Now that you and your mom are close again, who needs me, right?

 

When all your friends either disappeared or wouldn't return your phone calls, too busy to care, who was it that tried to spend every waking hour with, at the expense of my own personal relationships? And then get ****ted on when I did want to hang out with my friends for the first time in weeks.

 

Now that they no longer have boyfriends or are done school and suddenly have time for you again, I was no longer important enough.

 

It's like THAT?

 

Again, **** you then.

 

Remember that what goes around comes around honey. And I truly believe one day, maybe years down the road, you'll see just how good I was to you.

 

I'm tired of waiting for you to call me to say something, anything. I know it's not gonna happen.

 

You taught me how to love, and how to be loved, but you're also teaching me how to hate, and I hope you know I don't want it this way.

 

I now see, the girl I loved so much no longer exists. You're a new person with a new life, and someone I don't WANT to love anymore. Let someone else fall on that awful sword.

 

Goodbye

[bonpaw2008]

6 weeks into our breakup and I still struggle. Mostly because I miss my friend, you were such a part of my everyday life. But I know now that I am better off. You are not good enough for me. You gave me nothing in the past year and a half of any value. You made me insecure and scared and I didn't deserve it. So many other guys M, much better than you. Thank you for everything including letting me go. Showing me that I settled for a loser like you and forced me to find something better. I haven't found it because I am not ready, but I am having fun. I have been told that I am amazing and beautiful many times over these past 6 weeks. Only time you ever said it was when it was predicated by "what are you doing with me?" I wish I would have listened the first time you said that to me, because anyone that doesn't love themself has no love to give anyone else. I do wish you luck but all of my wishes won't change the miserable person you are and will continue to be.

 

I will not wish you a happy bd today, and I will not have contact with you until I can write you a letter with no bitterness or hurt. I try to make it positive and start out that way but it always turns into this. I will keep trying and I will suceed and be able to wish you the best and mean it. Right now I still think you are a stupid ass for ever letting me go...

[ShannonMI]

D,

 

I'm writing this to tell you that I want nothing to do with you ever again. You say you want to be friends with me, but you don't deserve to have me in your life. You wasted 8 good years of my life and why the f*ck would I want to waste another minute being your friend? I can't stand the person you've become. You gave our 8 year relationship up to revert back to your college days. You're dating a 20 year old for christ sake. What on earth are you getting out of THAT relationship? You are such a piece of s*it. Honestly, I hate you. You've ripped my heart out and you couldn't care less. I'm seeing a therapist, taking anti-depressants and you're f*cking a 20 year old. Living it up. How is this at all fair? I wish you could feel just an ounce of the pain I'm feeling. You deserve to feel all of it and then some.

 

I just want you to know what you've done to me. How does it make you feel? If I were you I would feel pretty f*cking low. After all we've been through, after all the love and support I gave you, this is what I get. "Oh, I've changed and we aren't right together." Is your 20 year old a good fit for you? Does she deal with you never being around? Working all those hours you work. Does she listen to you vent about your job and give you advice? Does she make your f*cking lunch everyday for work? Does she deal with all the hours you spend with your band? You were such a shi**y boyfriend to me, now that I look back on it. What a waste our relationship was. You were never around. You never spend enough time with me. Maybe that's why you think we grew apart and we weren't "right for each other." IT'S BECAUSE YOU NEVER GAVE A S*IT! YOU STOPPED PUTTING ANY EFFORT INTO US A LONG TIME AGO!! I never nagged you because I knew how important your career and band was to you. Now looking back, I see you were a selfish pr*ck who didn't care. You don't deserve my love or friendship. I will NEVER be your friend. After all the pain you've caused me, why the hell should I ever give you the time of day again. You are a f*cking waste.

 

You can forget seeing Miloh, as well. You gave us both up. You don't deserve to see the dog. "Contact me when you are ready to be friends and let me see the dog" you said. That day will never come, a**hole. Keep dreaming. You can't have the best of both worlds. Me, giving you my friendship and letting you see your precious Miloh. F*ck you. Go get yourself a new dog. You replaced me, now you can replace the dog too.

 

Have a nice life a**hole,

Shannon

 

P.S. And when your little college skank dumps you because you never spend time with her or she gives you herpes, don't call me. I'll have no sympathy for your pathetic a**. You deserve to feel all the pain that comes with getting s*it on. I hope she burns you good. That's what you deserve.

Edited August 30, 2010 by ShannonMI

[D-Lish]

I spent a night on skype with my ex last night.

I thought I was totally over him. We were an intense item for a few months, then we dragged things out for a year and a half going back and forth between being "on" and then "off again" because he was such a CP and he knew he'd be leaving one day.

 

He went back to Ireland recently, his whole issue was that he was always going to go back to Ireland- so he always fought against getting close to anyone.

 

After almost 2 years of the push and pull, I walked out and stood my ground. He pushed and pushed to rekindle but I KNEW it wasn't in my best interest to go back there and walked- even felt liberated in doing so and stuck to it. He left, his visa expired and he went back to Ireland not so long ago.

 

I thought I was strong enough. I answered his e-mail and skyped with him for over an hour last night. I've felt like crap all day today. What a bad decision I made to chat with him. I've been in tears behind my sunglasses all day... I didn't need to hear him re-hashing how much love we had- what a bad idea.

 

I could have avoided this had I been smarter....And more true to the advice I would candidly give to others!

 

DO post here instead of having contact with your ex people- it never turns out like you plan. I was doing so well- and now I am back in the pit- and I totally had the power to stay NC...I blew it and now all I can think about is how much I miss him all over again. I invited the pain when I had a choice not to go there.

 

Just don't do it- don't open yourself up to it. It's like inviting a nightmare back into your life that you've forgotton about- why invite it to come back?

[Meaplus3]

Hope it's ok if I join in here. You see I just ditched a special friend who I loved for years. Ummmm that was hard to do. I keep feeling the urge to explain to him why I ditched him, but I know it will do me no good and will only prolong the pain of this. So I am going to write him a letter here.

 

Dear pretentious x friend, I let you back in my life after years because I trusted you. You charmed me.. And feed me lines of bull only for your own self seeking pleasure. Your a snob who carries around some false sense that your entitled to any woman you want. Well not this one. I am far to good for you. And shame on YOU .. Your a married man now. Cya.. Jerk. Lol

 

ahhhhh. Much better.:laugh

 

Mea

Edited August 31, 2010 by Meaplus3

[Username37]

You're so fake. You have no respect for yourself, that's why you're whoring and acting like a party animal.

 

I laugh at you you pathetic waste of space

[SlevinKalebra]

HA HAHAHAHAHAHA

I AM BACK!!!!!!! I DON'T NEED YOU, I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DO, THINK, OR SAY!!!!!!!!! OUR RELATIONSHIP WAS TOXIC AND YOU TOOK YOUR ANGER OUT ON ME, TURNING ME AS BITTER AND MISERABLE AS YOU ARE.

 

I HAVE MOVED ON

now I just have to keep this in my heart. AND I THINK I WILL:D

[shadow2213]

Why do I still care about you? What is so special I can't just let go? You hurt me the worst possible way not just the cheating but they way I found out everything especially after I told you how I'd been hurt before and not just in relationships. You had to go and hurt me I will always wonder why and I hate that, and I think I'm starting to hate you for the pain you've caused for the happiness you feel for the new guy and just for treating me like garbage when I did nothing but give you my heart. I want to tell you this so bad to your face but what would be the point you stopped caring months ago I want to be able to do that so badly because you aren't worth this pain.

[listen_to_me_please]

You know, I'm going days now without thinking about you. I think I really loved you. I don't know what happen between us but I know the fall out. 2 years 6 months NC. Allot of money lost. Business destroyed for a long time but i'm a solider, I'm rebuild, I'm doing it now, slower than I thought though. not young anymore, had a dream about you the other day, haven't had one fora long time now.

 

Soon I'll forget, I think I'll forget completely once I fall in love again, with another. Thats life, I liked having sex with you. I miss it. You were always warm.

 

nothing more to say, I'm talking to a ghost.

[Meaplus3]

Dear Jerk. There is NO way I'm going to give in an contact you. How dare you use me in the way you did. Go suck on a rotten egg. Ok.. this venting works! I can and will let you GO!!

 

Mea:)

[DustySaltus]

How can the best and worst moments of your life come from the same person? I tried as hard as I could and it just wasn't good enough. There isn't enough dirt in the world to fill your bottomless pit of needs and wants. You always thought I was going to abandon you. You always thought that I was never serious about the relationship. Here I am a YEAR LATER still thinking about you from time to time.

 

Life is rough for me right now but of course you'll never know about it. You would probably just tell me how great your life is anyway, just out of spite. You painted me black and as someone that you couldn't trust.

 

I was the one who moved to your country. I was the one who was willing to sacrifice a career. I was the one who spent countless money on lawyers to settle any immigration concerns. I was the one who had to rebuild my life, which took a long time...time that I can't get back.

 

I never loved and despised someone so much at the same time.

[shiftedblue]

I haven't spoken to you in a month, and I have no idea what's going on your life and for some reason it bugs the **** out of me even though I practically never knew what was going on. Because even though we called eachother constantly and saw each other a few times a week, you never let me really be in your life. For three and a half years you slammed the door in my face. You didn't want to be emotionally intimate with me, only physically. You are a cold person.

 

And you don't care, never cared about me. I just need to accept that. You cared about possessing me, controlling me and my body and having ownership, but you didn't care if I was sad. You'd get mad if I was upset, and madder if me being upset had anything to do with you.

 

Actually I should thank you. I will never tolerate being emotionally abused again..