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polywog

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roflmaaaaaaoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo THAT WAS THE FUNNIEST MESSAGE I HAVE E-V-E-R READ IN MY LIFE!!! I NEEDED A LAUGH TODAY! HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA

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day 9 NC

 

babe, i still cant believe all of this has happened... i still feel like this a some terrible dream that i cant wake from. what are you doing? dont you see that this is a destructive path for you babe? you were so cold, how you acted towards me, when i never did anything to harm you, was truly terrible. in spite of all this, i still miss you. i cant decide if its a curse or if im still in love with you. either way, you ruined it all with your insecurity. if there were problems with us, we could have fixed them, but you took the cowards way out. you got bored, and decided to do the wrong thing. it still hurts me, but this will not keep me down.

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SimonSerenade

You've thrown all this away, I hope your happy now, You got what you wanted, Being your first and only time and love and having our son together meant the world to me, Now you've thrown it all away and I can never hold them bonds close again, Hope your new guy whoever he may be is worth it cause now your pretty worthless to me

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id really like to talk to you right now.... i try not too, but many memories keep coming back to me, like when we went to the poconos, and looked for that damn waterfall, haha, or when we were sleeping on the couch and i woke uo with a charlie horse and damn near startled you to death, or the first time we went to the beach together, in the dead of winter.....

 

ive been trying, but i cant bring myself to delete all the pictures we have together, i dont look at them, but thats not the point. i miss holding you, cooking with you and waking up with you. but i realize that the girl i miss is dead now, and has been replaced with a stranger. i miss you, but in the end, this is your loss, and you know this.

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How could you plead to see me two months after we broke up and say you still loved me, if you had your eye on someone else? Is that even fair to that other person?

 

How could you just give up on us when you said everything to me first, said I was your world, asked me to move in with you?

 

Was I just a rebound for you so you could find someone else? Is she that much better than me??

 

Why did you pursue me so soon after K? We BOTH liked each other for a REALLY long time, we had that instant and constant connection for years... it was amazing and still could be amazing - but you came after me SO soon after your previous relationship... I thought it was because I was special but perhaps that was just nothing to you.

 

Why does it seem like you don't give a damn about how i'm doing or anything in my life AT ALL anymore? I used to be your number one, and now i'm absolutely nothing!

 

Why would you send me an email being bitter and angered and sarcastic when I was being polite asking for the one thing back that you NEVER returned to me? I should be bitter and angry with you! But I can't.... because some part of me is still holding onto hope and it really is killing me.... I've asked you if i'm wrong about how I feel in thinking this isn't it for us.... and you tell me i'm not wrong. What am I suppose to do? How am I suppose to start letting go when the fear of thinking that if I do, that's the time you'll come back and I'm afraid of never having that intense connection with someone again.

 

Do you have that intense connection with this new girl? You said nothing was going on, and that there was no instant connection like what we had. But are you just lying to me to protect me?

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Hi B, How's things? How's the new girl? Are you still seeing that ugly girl? Are you seeing just her or more girls? Oh, did you tell her about the girls you were sleeping around at the same time as her?mmm..let me guess you haven't!! if you are still seeing her, when are you gonna have the dignity to tell me she's more than your date, she's now your girlfriend!!and i feel sad about it, but to think that you did all that to her before being in a serious relationship shows me the kind of guy you turned out to be...if you were only seeing her why did not tell her about the other girls?

does she know about me? oh she might do right because i threw away everything she left in your place when we first broke up, am i for her a psycho ex girlfriend? if only she knew everything...tell her i'm sorry, not for throwing the things out, but for not talking to her about you...

you know you still need me for 'legal' reasons and that makes me really upset because all i want is for you to get lost...

i guess you won't tell me the truth- what's going on...since we broke up, you've turned into this new piece of sh**...was that because of our 7 years of a fight free, no cheating relationship? you just want to show the world the man you are now...

i guess some people just don't know how to deal with things in life...you are not that young anymore, you should be focusing on yourself, get a better job, better house, clothes...instead of seeing or being in a relationship with plain boring girls...oh yeah, she might be a good person and that's why you are with her...so...was i bad person for you? i guess not the break up was a mutual decision, we hit a dead end...i'm sorry if i sound upset, but all i wanted was for you to be honest with me and tell me what's really going on...

by the way, thanks for dragging me along in your new relationship, was really nice sleeping with you while you were with her...it has now been 3 weeks since we last saw each other and I'm wondering if you are now 'loyal' to her only? at the end of the day you are not contacting me anymore, and that's good...cause i can finally have a good talk with myself about how stupid and silly i was for begging for a second chance, chasing you, sleeping with you, then pretending to be cool with the situation so i could spend few hours here and then with you...but,you know what i realised if i wanted to be a booty call girl...i could actually make some money from it and also new experiences...but, that's just not me...i'll get over you, learn to love myself above all and find an amazing person that will not make me waste 7 years of my life with somebody that perhaps never really wished to be in that relationship...

so goodbye, have a great life and if you decide to call me, i have the courtesy to tell you i won't ever answer that call!!!

 

feel much better now.....

 

doubt i would say that on the phone though...

probably would be like, so when can we meet? and he would go, i'll let you know...and that would just make me sad....

 

i'm so stupid...arghhhhhhhh

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I miss you so much... I can't stop these feelings of loving you. I don't ever see us getting back together. I couldn't bare for you to walk out on me again. Yet the thoughts of you fill my head everyday.

 

Its like being addicted to some horrible drug. The truth is, I wish I never met you. I shouldn't have trusted you with my heart. I put everything I had to give into this relationship. Its sad how you could walk away like I meant nothing to you. I know my heart needs to let you go.

 

It leads me to feel like true love dosen't exsist, atleast not for me..

I hope your happy with your decision. The part of me that wants you to go away says" I hope you don't ever regret it and try to come back".

 

I no longer have anything left to give to you..

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SimonSerenade

Hey samm

 

Been looking at some pictures of you tonight, pictures of who you used to be, the person I miss more than anything else in the world, what hurts now is you killed that person and thought you were bettering yourself, you ruined yourself, you ruined us, you took our future and dreams and just threw them away, I don't know why I wasn't enough for you but I guess that's just the way it is and there's not a thing I can do about it, il always remember the great times we had together and il always remember who you were back then and even if I can't say I'm not the first and only for everything anymore, I can at least say I was the only one to have that amazing person and I wouldn't trade those times and that person for the world, you saved me from a dark place back then, you took my breath away, I love you, I hope life treats you well my darling, thank for the good times, now go have some of your own :)

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You left me speechless. What is there left to say to you that I already haven't? I guess I wasn't the one that made you happy.

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vtbrokenhearted

Seeing you again made me really confused. Maybe it was wrong. You left and I thought, "he's changing. He's really trying. Maybe I made a mistake. Should I have tried to reconcile and not jump to divorce you so quickly?" I cried, yup I cried. And then I talked to a really good friend who said, "STOP." She reminded me of all of the things I've spilled out to her over the past four months about our nine years together. She reminded me that you've lied so many times and that you didn't come to the hospital for the miscarriage. You didn't support me when I needed you to. I know all of this and that's what was helping me get stronger, but when I saw you, I melted. When I saw you, I wanted to know why. And you still couldn't give me an answer. It broke my heart to see you cry. I realized I really haven't seen you cry all that much in the past nine years. Your grandmother's funeral, when I told you I wanted to leave...those were the only times I can think of. You didn't cry with me about the baby, you were just angry at me and annoyed that I was trying to find answers. I think you're finally being able to feel the things you should be feeling. People have asked me if you have always been emotional unavailable. Is that what you call it? I don't know. But, yeah, you were never there emotionally when I needed you to be. But it seems like you're changing. MY friend and my mom said you can't change overnight. You say you've realized how selfish and spoiled you've been. Should I keep moving forward without you or should I try to win you back? I don't know. I don't think you moving back in is a good thing even it will help financially. I think it will bring more confusion. I think it will be bad emotionally. I love you, I really love you, but if you move back in I'm just supporting you again. You made the decision to leave me, you left, you told me you didn't want me anymore. I don't want you to suffer but when people suffer, they heal. If I let you come back, you'll never heal. I don't think you can come back. I'm so confused.

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wow, what can i say?? what have you turned into? less than a month after we break up, and i hear that ur already visiting planned parenthood?

 

disgusting.....

 

hearing this should have no effect on me since were through, but it makes me both angry and sad....

 

how people can change so quickly is beyond me.

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Hmmm so you can't afford your new sports car and your new Harley??? You bought both in 2010 while I was struggling with paying for my education out of pocket, thanks for the "support". With being in a position that works only on commissions and tips, that probably wasn't the smartest move. Now business is slow AND you have extra rent and utilities, since you no longer wanted to be with me. Did you really think I'd be ok with the idea of staying in our place as roommates? After 6 years of being lovers? Ha! No wonder you were and are under pressure and stress, maybe you should've invested a little more time in US instead of the financial burdens that will now get the best of you. Good luck sweetie! I will thrive debt free and heartache free, plus I will no longer have to clean up the messy beard shavings you always leave behind in the sink :-) There is a silver lining!!!!

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Its been almost 5 months since you dumped me and I never saw it coming. You threw me out like a piece of trash and haven't looked back since. I think about you through my entire day and this hasn't stopped since August. While I'm in pain and suffering you are continuing to live your life to the fullest. I'll never forget how you told me you were going to live your life with no regards to me. This whole time I thought you were also in pain, missing me, but its clear through your actions that you are over me and we will never get back together.

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I told you i had let go 100%. Well, I haven't. I'm not going to talk to you about anything other than our son going forward, NC day 3 right now. You're probably not going to change your mind about divorcing, but I really need to work on myself regardless of what happens. I miss you.

Edited by marqueemoon4
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TheGrimSweeper

I miss you and love you but you have turned into one of the most selfish self centered people I know. As much as I want you back, half of me wants to find someone else who is better then you.

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K,

 

I wrote you a letter and it turned out to be three pages long so needless to say I couldn't post it here. However, it did open my eyes. Notating and looking back on everything we've been through, maybe you leaving me will be the best thing to happen to my life. Maybe this isn't the end of the world. Maybe you really weren't the one for me. Someday soon I will be able to breathe again.

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You f*ckin b*tch, I hope some day you go EXACTLY through what I'm going through! God I'm praying for that actually! With your stupid psychopathic attitude without any regards to feelings for me(the one you supposably "loved"). I hope you party your life away and smoke pot until you die and become nothing! I hope you get your heart broken as bad as I did so you can see what it feels like instead of laughing at me. ENJOY IT WHEN THAT DAY COMES!!!!! I'll be waiting with a bottle of Champaign and some chocolates to celebrate when that happens. It'll of course only be a party with myself but, oh jeez, the pleasure I'll get of thinking about you actually being in pain over someone else, it will be priceless. I hope that day come soon. I will laugh at your misery. You think its so funny right now? Well lets just see when you are in the other persons shoes and see how funny it is them. You emotionless wh*re. Are you even human? Doesn't seem like it.

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SimonSerenade

I hope you never love anybody like you loved me back then, I don't know how you fell out of love with me but you broke my heart, I hope you regret and feel Shame from that one day, we could of had a great life and I feel you denied our son that life too, I should hate you for all of this but now I feel nothing, your not coming back and I accept that now, I just wish you'd of ended this with dignity and heart but you didn't, you ended it in the worst way, here's 2 words for you "grow up", i hope one day you have enough pride to stand on your own 2 feet and sort your life out, as long your around crap people then you'll never grow as a person, you'll just get dragged down to there level time and time again, hope your happy now, actually scratch that, i hope you wind up miserable and alone, everyone would be better off if you just dropped dead, don't kid yourself your a rubbish parent and Lucas will never lol upto you as one cause your stuck in childish ways, if I get my way you'll never see head or tail of either of us for the rest of your life cause you deserve neither of us, you deserve nothing.

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I'm sorry letting you know I love you and how much this situation is ruining everything for me is making you feel guilty. Maybe you SHOULD feel guilty. I can't believe how selfish you are.

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vtbrokenhearted

So we talk and I'm honest and I'm trying and you seem to be really thinking about things. And and and... Seeing you made me think I'd gone about this the wrong way, but now, now you've just left me with no answer again. Why can't you work this out with me? I'd like to really try to work these things out with you. I don't want to argue. I want you to be able to think on your own. How come you can't do this? How come it's so difficult for you to think and make a decision on your own. Yes, I'm definitely getting support from family and friends, but I'm not agreeing with their every word, listening to everything they tell me to do. Although, now that I think about it, if I did everything they said to do, I probably wouldn't be so hurt now. I'm trying to trust you. Don't ask me why. I couldn't give you an answer. I'm trying to understand that you are hurting, I'm showing compassion, and where is it getting me? I'm still very confused.

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