stilljustme Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 I have known thousands of people in my life. None have ever meant more to me than you have. None have played a larger role in who I am. None have had a bigger impact on who I am. None have understood me so well or even cared to. None have have I known or understood so completely. I've loved you for over 1/2 of my life, never doubted it for moment, never questioned, never wondered... and I've never wondered if you felt the same of me - I don't even wonder now. I can still see your heart and the hole in it is as big as mine. I'll never agree with the life choices you've made. I may not ever really understand them but I can't love you any less than I do - I don't know how to be angry and I just don't really know how to hurt less. You don't owe me anything. You have already given me more than I could ever ask of anyone. I doesn't mean that such a huge part of me still doesn't feel dead inside right now. I want to say things like "I hope all your dreams come true" and "I hope you love and live life with passion" all the things I know I should say... but I don't know how to really mean them with this this huge cloud of loss that has hung over me for the last year and 1/2. It doesn't mean that I don't wish you smile and laugh each day. It's just that you can when I can't is very hard. In some ways it's strange, the dreams you see in your head aren't really different than they ever were, just the face you see with you has changed. Everyone keeps telling me it's time to start living my life again, looking for a new road. Everyone keeps telling me I'm the reason for my own hurt. But only I know that you were the reason I smiled every morning when I woke up. I hope he is really what you think he is. I am what you really know I am.... and I always will be. I know I need to say goodbye but I really just don't know how. I don't know if I ever will. Link to post Share on other sites
loveforever Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 Today my ex is cleaning out the garage (ceiling caved after pipe in master bathroom burst).... He's got one of his moody days and I try to be nice.... I let the dog out in the backyard not knowing that he had the gate open..... Sure enough the dog ran away.....he is a hunting dog so he looooooooooooooooooves to run and have his freedom.... I told my ex and he got pissed....he took the car to search the neighborhood... I walked around by our house and called him and sure enough there comes puppy.....it took a few tries to catch him, but I did.... Ex came driving by and I flagged him down.... He got out of the car and looked sooooooooo pissed.....it takes a lot for him to be that mad.... I said "It could've happen to you too !!!!!"...... But what I really wanted to say was :mad: "Why don't you divorce me over this, a@@hole !!!!!!!!!!!!" :mad: ..... Arrrggghhhhhh, going back to 180.....much stricter now !!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
SimonSerenade Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 Been thinking of you quite a bit lately and kind of get a feeling of sadness mixed in with acceptance for how things are now, You've been a real hard faced little bitch through this whole situation and things could of been so much different had you actually had a heart in your chest, I'm done blaming myself for what happened, I did my best and that's a hell of a lot more than what you did, The saddest part about all of this is that it was all set out on the table, family, marriage, house etc, it was all there to be cherished and enjoyed through out our life and you just threw it away, How you can fall out of love with me is beyond me, Make's me wonder who you'll fall in love with next and if he stands a chance of going a good round with you, Either way I figured out that I was never all that special to you, All of this is pointless and a waste of time, Just grow up and figure out what's best for you and when you find out it's me don't bother coming back cause I never want to see your face again for as long as I live. Link to post Share on other sites
Owz600 Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 It's almost 2 months now since our break up and start of NC and I feel terrible. I took you for granted and thought you would always be there for me. I don't blame you for disconnecting any feelings you had for me but you could have helped me or given me more time to try and fix the issues in my life before doing that. You are starting your new adventurous job now where you will travel the world with strangers, I can't help but think your going to meet men in your industry and date them. I feel I had nothing to offer you in the end, your only interest was your career and I have seen you grow fonder of a certain man just because you can talk about your work and such, it makes me feel left out and that I didn't or don't have a chance. I even went to a job interview and got offered the job in one you would be interested in hearing about. I filled in all the forms today and all I would have to do is send the forms off tomorrow then it's done. Problem is this decision could mess up my options of careers for the next year and set me back. My heart says go for this job but my head and family says maybe it's not the best option. Right now I am a mess, I am trying hard to better myself but you destroyed me. Link to post Share on other sites
SimonSerenade Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 Stay out of my dreams, I'm learning to hate you more and more each day now and life is good that way so stay out of that too, I know I should feel bad for hating you and wanting nothing more to do with you because your the mother of my child but as my sister never tires of pointing out NOT A VERY GOOD ONE HAHA, You deprived me of precious times of our son's life and you never once GAVE A DAMN, If there was any justice in the world you'd drop dead and miss out on the rest, Since that ain't exactly going to happen, I'm going to hope and pray for one thing and that's that you grow up! and grow up fast! for our son's sake alone, He deserves a better life than this and you deprived him of it so far, Unless you want him to see you as a pathetic spoilt little sponge then I'd get a move on in your life and stand on your own two feet for once, Regardless of how heartless you were towards me, I'll still wish you the best with your next feller, Who ever that may be. Link to post Share on other sites
Shatter3d Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 I love you. Now love me back please. That is all. Link to post Share on other sites
Tofu Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 im still finding it hard why you left me for this guy, didnt we spend good times together? didnt you say we were truely perfect for each other and that you want to be with me forever? When the time came we could finally take the next big step in our relationship you threw it away and stomped all over it shattering my heart in the process. now youre with this guy that isnt right for you, i wonder how he will cope with your insecure and depressed nature everyday. i was able to get you through those times cos i cared about you, lets see if this guy can put in this effort 24/7 just to keep you on your feet. the thought of being back with you lingers in my mind but i want to move on and think about myself and what my future holds with or without you. please just stay out of my mind and dreams so i can push forward for myself. Courtney whatever happens i will always still hav feelings for you, theres no shaking away this feeling... i really felt we connected, and you still want that but only as friendship. i can do that, either take me back fully or you lose everything that you cherished bout me for so long Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 seriously, why? why are you doing this to me? thats all i want to know. Link to post Share on other sites
SweetyBear Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 I'm so sorry I hurt you again. I thought things could be different and better, but they just got even worse this time. I haven't seen you since Christmas. When I talk to you, you do not comfort me or make the load I'm bearing easier, but you find fault with me for not being stronger. I don't have the strength to maintain this anymore. It's just not supposed to be this hard. Life is difficult and all day long people are around who are not supportive. I want my man to support me. I want my man to be someone I can support. Instead you suck everything from me until I don't have anything to give and then you find fault with me for not giving you anything. I should never have tried for a second chance. I wish I had recognized back then that I was right. Then both of us could have moved on and we both would have healed by now. I am in so much pain emotionally right now that I physically ache. I am mourning for the future I thought we were going to have. I had so much hope for that. Even when things were at the very worst, I could look forward to the life we were going to have. I guess last night, I realized I've just been fooling myself. If three years goes by and things are just worse and worse and worse, one has to wake up to the fact that they aren't going to get better. Link to post Share on other sites
SweetyBear Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 Crying, just fits of crying in between my work. I know I did the right thing. Neither of us was ever happy. You even said how I never supported you in your work. I tried to, but I hated it because it took you away from me all the time. I have to remember what it felt like to walk home in a snowstorm all by myself while you chastised me for being angry you didn't pick me up. How could you yell at me because I was angry you didn't pick me up? I am still sad though. I just know that this is for the best. Link to post Share on other sites
brokendreamz Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 I don't ever want to hear from you again. You have broken me. Link to post Share on other sites
radiodarcy Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 i'm trying to get over you. i set up a profile on ok cupid but it only makes me miss you more. why oh why did you have to pop back into my life if you didn't want to stay?? Link to post Share on other sites
poorguy Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 I'll be alright...I'm just missing you Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 i deserve another chance someday in not too distant future.. I have no idea why I'd want you back after the way you've treated me the last 6mos. I still feel like if we could start talking and working together I'd feel so much better. Link to post Share on other sites
layla1983 Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 I'm sorry I took you for granted. I'm sorry I practically forced you to let me go. I'm sorry I moved on so fast. I'm sorry that I stomped on you after I did. I'm sorry that you will never talk to me again, and that I don't deserve half of a man that you are. I sorry I tried to make you look like a bad person publicly. I AM SORRY HOW MUCH I HURT YOU!!!! I am amazed at how high you kept your chin up even though I know how bad you must have been hurting. I am amazed that, you, my love accepted my apology after everything I did. I am amazed that I had the opportunity to meet a man like you. I'm amazed that you actually thought I was good enough for you. Ryan you are truly an amazing person. Whatever woman is lucky enough to meet you isn't going to be stupid enough to do what I did. I know you'll have a beautiful life and I know you'll be a star in somebody elses sky, but I wish it were mine!!!! So good by my love-YOU ARE THE ONE WHO GOT AWAY!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
UncannyCookie Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 Dear Ex, Wow, how are you? It's great to hear from you. I see you've realized you're a fool, but come on, we all knew that would happen, didn't we? I mean, how can you find someone to measure up to someone you said treated you like a king and made you feel like a man? Someone you said you connected with and it was so easy. But yeah, the grass was always greener, wasn't it? Couldn't keep yourself away from the online dating sites, or talking to other women until the wee hours of the morning, just in case they turned out to be better. Well, guess what? They aren't. They aren't the problem. I wasn't the problem. You, are the problem. Nobody will ever measure up to what you expect, no person could. You'll never choose 1 person when you're so conflicted on how to feel because of whatever your issues are. You had a great thing, and passed it up. Now, you spend hours and hours online on a dating site. Was it worth it? Losing your best friend, your lover, in hopes of maybe doing better? Do you really think you even deserve better after how you treated me, and the one before me? You should be alone, and lonely, and realize that you did indeed have true love, but gave it away because you're too stupid to make a decision. Sure, you're book smart, but that wont keep you warm at night. Neither will lying on your profile to get women to meet you, saying you're 2 inches taller, because most women rule out men of your stature. I accepted you as you were. I loved you. You sh*t on me. I won't forget that. I.Love.This xDDDD My ex did the same thing, I'm pretty sure he must still be spending hours on dating sites, he was even paying for them! (Dumbass told me something weird came up on his statement, looked up the name and the rest is history). Also noticed he lied about his height too, 5'11?!? more like 5'7 if that, and pathetic size 7 feet...lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Dublin Chick Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 (edited) Aw op try to get over it you should move on Edited February 22, 2011 by Dublin Chick just found out op is 22 Link to post Share on other sites
Tofu Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 I like this thread, its like a virtual punching bag to let off all your thoughts and stresses and weirdly enough it really does the trick. Kudos to the guy who made this epic thread Link to post Share on other sites
radiodarcy Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 you're killing me. i hope you know that. you are absolutely killing me. oh - - and i still love you. Link to post Share on other sites
CM2009 Posted February 23, 2011 Share Posted February 23, 2011 Wow its been 2 yrs since I found out about your relationship with my friend, yeah it hurted and it still hurts today. I miss you from time to time but in the end I guess divorce was the best medication for us, im glad to hear that you and "him" are still going strong. I don't wish karma on you but just just be careful and I hope whatever choices you make doesn't effect your son's...... Link to post Share on other sites
SimonSerenade Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 I.Love.This xDDDD My ex did the same thing, I'm pretty sure he must still be spending hours on dating sites, he was even paying for them! (Dumbass told me something weird came up on his statement, looked up the name and the rest is history). Also noticed he lied about his height too, 5'11?!? more like 5'7 if that, and pathetic size 7 feet...lol. ahaha I love this, My ex was a smurf too Link to post Share on other sites
SimonSerenade Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 It's been so long since I last heard from you and do I miss you?, maybe a little but I'm getting on with my life quite well, every so often you'll pop in my head but it's nothing major, It's just remembering everything we went through and everything you were to me, That saddens me a lot sometimes, I felt we deserved a much better ending than you one you gave us, I thought you were different to everyone else but I geuss after all this time, I was dead wrong all along, your just a heartless spiteful selfish manipulative spoilt little bratt, I don't hate you by the way, At the moment I just dislike you with great intensity, one day I'll be over you completely and I can feel that day edging ever closer and closer, you hurt me more than anyone else ever could and what hurt most is how you promised you could never do that to me, hope your proud of yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
SweetyBear Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 Each day is harder. It's hard to know we love each other but just can't make our relationship work. I wish we could sit down and talk but it just seems like there's no hope for us. I wouldn't have said I wanted to end things if I thought there was anything left for us to try. I love you so much. Link to post Share on other sites
IfiKnewThen Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 quote : SimonSerenade "I felt we deserved a much better ending than you one you gave us" i feel the exact same way. i though you would give us a much better end, with all the love you professed and how we would always be friends and how you were always so prayerful. but in the end you were cold as ice. cold, unkind, uncaring. Link to post Share on other sites
tommy.is.my.name Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 She is logged onto skype right now. God grant me the fortitude to not contact her. Link to post Share on other sites
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