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wreckedhero

I dont know what to do. I am trying to move on but I was told yesterday that you attempted to put yourself on a plate to somebody else and that has reopened the wound. Yes I was insecure but that was due to your coldness and the way you treated me. I dont know what to do. The image of you attempting to bed somebody sickens me as does your whole reaction to me enquiring about it. I hate you but I love you. Why did you agree to being my girlfriend if you were just going to end it? Oh the lessons must be heeded. I will never get with someone like you again. You are a virus and too superficial for my liking. You refused to go on holiday with me, we never went to the cinema and it's over now but I just cant get over the fact you may have attempted to cheat.

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princess xena

Hey sweetheart, hope you are doing well, I miss you so much! I miss the way we can talk about everything, and how we always seem to be thinking the same thing. I miss the way you make me feel beautiful and wanted and safe. I miss all the times in the kitchen, quietly working together as a team. I know that our relationship can never work, your family will never accept it. I cant give you the children you crave and deserve. It hurt so deeply when you chose s over me, but I understand why you did. I am dreading the day that you drop back into my life, I hope I am strong enough to resist falling for you again. And yes I know you will be back, we both admit that we are like 2 magnets drawn to each other, its a crazy natural pull neither of us can resist. I dont contact you because I know it is the best thing that you move on, not because I dont care. Until the next time you pop in my life.......all my love, your princess

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Happy Birthday. Hope its the lonliest day you ever have :)

 

I hope you remember how special I treated you this time last year, and now look at what you have now....nothing... Does it feel good to be lonely and have nothing? Well that is what you wanted, I hope youre happy.

 

Hurry up and find a new girlfriend please. Do me a favour and take yourself off the single market...although I do feel sorry for your new (future/current) girlfriend.

 

You'll never get a piece of me again. I'm way too good for you. Yes I had my flaws, but Im only human, and the man who truly loves me will accept me flaws and all.

 

Its been over 60 days NC with you, I plan to continue this for the rest of my life. No more counting... this is it... Goodluck, I hope life treats you as you deserve...that may be good or may be bad...I'll let the higher powers decide that.

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giuliano-3

I wrote you a letter, which is more than you ever did for me. At every turn in this saga it is I who has been the bigger person. You know this, though. It makes you feel guilty. You need to let go of your guilt and move on with your life as well. I may have forgiven you finally for what you did to me, it doesn't mean that if we got back together I'd be able to forget everything which transpired. Deep down you're a good person, and if you learn from the past you will be happy and successful in the future. I hope you do. IF we ever see each other again I'll greet you with a smile, a fresh start and the possibility of a friendship. Relationship probably should/could never happen again. All the best...I remove the curse and wish nothing but the best. Thank you for everything you've given me, both directly and indirectly. Take care of yourself!

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The Great Gazoo

It's really starting to sink in, deeper and deeper. The shock is worn off and now it’s a dull deep ache in my soul. I miss you so much. But in reality I miss an idealized version of you. Unfortunately, one that really doesn't exist anymore. In reality you are a cold, selfish person, one who doesn't deserve someone as dedicated and loyal as I've been. I really thought you were my best friend and that's what hurts the most.

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MyTwoCents

I thought about contacting you to say hope you are well health wise, just because it would make my conscience feel at ease. Despite all the many many things you put me through and despite the fact that you ignored my letter. You know the letter you ignored in which I poured out my HEART to you, after dating you on/off for a year and half! Despite all that, I am not cold hearted enough not to show my concern about your potentially life threatening illness and wish you well. I'm sure you are well though, I read that in pretty much 100% of cases in young men with this illness, they get better. I hope I read the right information, but from the looks of your new profile picture, you look fine. Despite the fact that i took you off my facebook, I know that you are still keeping active, so I think I did read the right info.

I did offer you my full support for your illness in my letter, so I don't know if it's necessary that I wish you good health yet again, clearly you don't need or care for my support in any way, but i feel like my conscience dictates that yet again I should be the bigger person and check on you with good wishes.

I'm not sending you that message yet though, because I know there may be some ulterior motives attached to it, and until that is not the case I'm not sure I should break my NC not even for a second. I'm sorry but I can't I need to put myself first for once, until my feelings for you totally evaporate. Until I don't even need an explanation from you or a sorry or I made the biggest mistake ever, I love you or whatever, at least for my own personal vindication if nothing else.

I still have the blinkers on, quite a lot of the time in fact. I guess I still can't fully accept everything that you put me through yet, so it's easier to avoid the truth by putting the blinkers on. I also really loved you, and thought you were the one, we had so much in common, it was "love at first talk" lighting strike, it made me so devastatingly blind and co-dependent, especially because you reeled me in by treating me like gold at 1st. I realise that maybe there wasn't enough substance to it, and it was perhaps partly an act but it's so hard for my subconscious to fully accept that ego blow or understand it. I lost my usual composure and I want it back, it's still so hard to fully accept it's totally over, we had so many ups and downs. It's so hard to regain my composure, but I've made it 7months no NC, and I know with strength I can continue. I love you but I don't trust you to treat me like I deserve to be treated. I deserve someone who is WILLING to work with me on a relationship, and who loves me too much to EVER go a whole week without texting or ringing me. I also recently found out about a possible lie you told me, I was angry at first but now I'm back to denial, and acting like maybe in the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter, ugh, tricks of the mind!! I know I will come to terms with it at some point.

There is also a small part of me my dear, that wonders if you made up the illness to try to get me into bed, it didn't work as you well know. I didn't feel comfortable about you inviting yourself over, just because you found out about the diagnosis. I was about to as i felt bad for you, but i realised I wanted you to sleep with me because you were fully into me not because of any other reason. The best you could muster was " I THINK I really like you".. sigh..

Perhaps you were just too scared to acknowledge your feelings, after your ex hurt you, you were always too emotionally unavailable let's face it, and selfish and cowardly because of it, your ex's made sure to ruin you for me, either that or you were lying and I nearly fell for the oldest trick in the book: tell a girl you are ill, and she will sleep with you in two seconds flat. Even I don't think you would sink that low, but you never ever know, you did make me feel like you were stringing me along many times, so who can ever be 1000% sure. Or maybe the diagnosis made you horny and the most you could say to me was " I THINK I really like you" without lying, how rubbish is that?! ugh.. though there is so much more to what happened between us, so i dunno.

 

Good health to you my dear, I truly wish you good health, from the bottom of my heart but i don't think I am gracious enough to wish you a good relationship if you are with someone new right now while I am still hurting. If you are, I hope she is your karma, I hope you will learn what it feels like to be ignored by someone who professes they like you, by someone you've known for so long. As for the rest and for the future I hope you grow up or have grown up and live happily while treating girls right, and making someone truly happy. You could be just so amazing if you did that.

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Its raining tonight, can you hear it? I lay here and wonder if you're with soemone else. Why did you come back into my life? Over and over again. Will you ever let it go? Will I?

 

Last time we met all you could say was how much you missed me. But why couldn't I reciprocate? Why couldn't I tell you I missed you, my world is void without you, my heart aches, my mind freezes, without you. I miss you terribly.

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lordgrenville89

It took me me longer than I expected to get over you. But that's not because I was so crazy about you. It's because I was going through a tough point in my life.

Yeah you're hot. But you're not as hot as you think you are.

You're smart - but not as smart as you think you are, either.

You're sassy, popular, mature - but at the same time you're also very shallow. Because you can't face your own shortcomings. You've always got to be in control. Got to have then upper hand.

Maybe laugh at yourself once in a while. Accept that we're all human.

If you think there's one perfect guy who you will find one day you're mistaken.

 

Goodbye

I guess one day you'll meet someone as narcissistic as yourself and be very happy together

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I met another guy. We're boyfriend and girlfriend now. My mom and my moms friend said he looks like you. I guess I keep choosing guys that look like you.

 

I've been wanting to talk to you so bad lately. I thought that once I got into another relationship, everything would be okay and I would be over you. The truth is, nobody can replace you. He just isn't the same as you. He is a drug addict and his best friend is a girl who lives with him. I can't stand this. I miss my relationship with you. I miss how often you would text me. You really made me feel special and I miss it. I miss laying on you and cuddling and watching movies. I miss the way you smelled and your voice. You have such a unique voice and I still hear it in my head sometimes.

 

Even though you were the one who dumped ME, why did I get a boyfriend before you got a girlfriend? Why are you still single after 4 months?

 

I've been playing the game you play, Mabinogi. You were right, it really is fun. Everytime that I log in I wonder if you are out there online somewhere. I wish I could talk to you about my relationship and about the game I am playing. I loved telling you everything that was bothering me. You were the only one who was ever truly there for me. You used to listen to me and make it all better.

 

I still love you after 4 months. I still love you...

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Its been over two months and I still can't go a minute of my day without thinking about you.

 

I think the biggest regret of my life will always be ruining what we had. I never looked after you the way you deserved. And the worst part is, now I know how to make things right but its too late. You have moved on and I am just another ex to you now.

 

You used to tell me nobody made you feel like I did, that I always made you feel special and like a princess. Its easy to think somebody is amazing after they have left you, but I thought you were amazing from the minute I saw you for the first time. And I used to tell you everyday.

 

I miss you so much. I wish it didn't have to be this way. But I know you have to take care of yourself now.

 

I love you more then I could ever put into words.

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marqueemoon4

I loathe you. I loathe your family. I loathe your friends with the exception of maybe 1 or 2. In fact, the ONLY person worth a damn on your side is OUR SON. I feel bad for the poor guy being surrounded by such lowbrow, ignorant fools like you 70% of the time.

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I love you, but I don't want to. He's not going to love you like I do, and he's not going to stick around. I know you are confused, scared, and unhappy with the life you have lived, and even the life with me (not when we were in snuggleville, of course - but the work part). I'm sure this is easier, and if that's what you want I hope you enjoy it, but you've made a horrible mistake, and I'm done making excuses to myself for you. You will get everything coming to you. Freedom without responsibility is frivolity. Put that in your ****ing email sig.

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guitarxkid

I miss you so much sometimes. I think about you constantly and I miss how much fun we had. You hurt me so much and I wish I could just forget you but all of our memories make up for everything and I would do anything to just lie in bed with you right now and talk and laugh with you. You meant everything to me and you let me down. How could you lie to me and change your mind about everything? I thought we had something really special and I thought we were going to be together for years just like you promised me.

 

I hate you so much sometimes. I can't believe you told ____ all of my feelings. The only reason you think you're good together is because you forgot what its like when we're together. Its perfect and you know it, it brings out he best in both of us and I don't know how I'm gonna find someone like that again.

 

You're so beautiful and I can't get over that. I just want to hold you and kiss you and see you smile again because thats what made me the happiest I've ever been and now the saddest I've ever been.

 

I guess I'm not gonna talk to you anymore, you've got a new boyfriend and I'm extremely lonely without you and I feel so worthless no matter how busy I am. You were my everything and you told me the same but didn't mean it.

 

One of my favorite memories is when I played you the song I wrote for you and I was so damn nervous because I know I'm not a good singer and I've never sung in front of anyone but the song came from my heart and I really wanted to play it for you. I was sweating like a pig and I heard a little sound and I looked up and you started crying and crying and that made my heart drop because I knew then that I was so damn in love with you and I wanted to be with you for so long. I remember finishing playing the song and then I just held you in my arms and we both cried because we had been through so much and were finally together.

 

It's over now how could you find someone else... How could you ****ing put me through so much and then say you're in love with someone else now. How can you act so selfishly and say you care about me? I miss the old you, the new you is ****ed up and only cares for herself. I hope you get ****ed over by this new guy and you feel like I do.

 

We brought out the best in each other and now I feel like a lesser person and I can see that you've changed. It will never be the same and I don'lt know if I should regret the past years because of all this pain or be happy that I made those memories with you. Either way, you're gone and happy with someone else and I'm sitting here wishing I could hear you tell me you love me and that its gonna be alright

 

I love you

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zlatnapolja

I broke up with my boyfriend 2 days ago and I'm really wondering if I made the right disission. the thing is I don't believe that he loves me, although he says I mean the world to him.. In the beginning of our relationship he would always try to make me jalous by making comments on other women. When I woke up next to him for the first time and I looked around and saw: messages, cards and presents for old girlfriends, magazines with almost naked women and a calender with almost naked women. He used to cancel our dates al the time because he had to do something for his boss (illegal). When I went on vacation he ignored me for daysss, I would text him if he was still alive (after 5 days or something) and he wouldnt respond. He went to a stripclub at the beginning of our relation ship. He still steals stuff which I hate. He will still e very closed towards me. And the worst thing. His exgirlfriend used to call him A LOT, which made me wonder. She wanted to have sex with him and everything, so after a lot of drama he promissed he wouldnt text, phone or email her anymore (he thought it was extremely unfair of me to ask this, fact is he should have done it himself). Anyway he broke this promiss 6 times or something ad then 2 days ago, I saw a textmessage of her and she called him honey. He says that he loves me to death and that his mother (who isn't with us anymore, God bless her) knows how much he love me, but I dont believe it. did I make the right dissision?

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0hpenelope

"I miss you, (penny)"

 

:lmao: :lmao:

 

"I feel bad that I haven't kept in touch"

 

:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

 

All i had to say to that was me thinking that you're homesick and that I don't take your absence personally anymore.

 

Good for me. Bad for you. :cool:

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So, hey I just wanted to write a note since I know that you never want to talk about anything uncomfortable.

 

So, here I am just a little over 3 weeks since you said "we're done." That was hard enough but at least you still wanted me to go to your mom's wedding. Well, until you called 1/2 hour later and told me that was off, too. It's hard to fathom since we never fought and our last night together was calm and nearly idyllic.

 

It came as a shock but what came as more of a shock was how just 2 days after the breakup you were out all night God knows where and by the 2 week mark you were already having overnight visitors.

It drives me a bit crazy to not be able to talk to you at all. I constantly see cool things and want to tell you about them but then I remember that we don't talk anymore. I would love to call but would you pick up? I am keeping no contact because that's what makes sense, as hard as it is.

I worry about you because I know you are in pain. I saw the drinking increase every day as we get closer to your ex-husband's marriage. I know that you are going out late each night and bringing home random people. I wonder how you can even get up for work in the morning. Summer is coming so you'll be off until next school year but that has me worried for you even more. Not having any place that you have to be may horribly exacerbate your drinking problem. It's a progressive disease, you know.

As much as I care about you I am angry at the lies that you told. Some of them were pointless because I would have much preferred a hard truth. What came as a surprise was how quickly the lies came out of your mouth. No hesitation. The mark of a pro. I guess the first big lie you told me was when we first dated and you said "I'll never lie to you." But, I've always said that the liars will tell you the same thing as the honest people..."trust me." Well, I did...even when I started to know better. You told me that you weren't setting up anything with anybody after the breakup...that you didn't want to date anyone for awhile. Who knew that awhile was 2 days? It sure seemed like it might be a longer time but I guess I wanted to believe you. You'll have a great career in politics someday. That charming smile and sparkle in your eyes will melt the hearts of everyone just like it did me. Then you can **** over millions of people instead of doing it just one at a time.

 

I still can't believe that you told me not to contact you for 3 months and that we can NEVER hang out again. During our relationship when I questioned your constant contact with your ex-lover you told me that you were friends with your old lovers and that you couldn't give up on a friendship because you're not like that. But, I guess whatever we had was nothing. At the very least I thought that we'd be friends. You even remarked (as you dumped me) that we got along great. That things were good. Well, I understand if you're not feeling we're a long term match, but not even a friend?

 

I was good to you. Too good some would say. I actually did harm to my life trying un**** your life. And what did I get for it? Dumped. Not even a conversation. No explanation. Then, after the breakup, when I ran into you in that bar I tried to ignore you and respect your no contact rule but you were the one who came up to me and pretended like you hadn't just broken up with me. Like we were just some old acquaintances who happened to run into each other. You asked ME why I was being so weird and when I mentioned your no contact edict you said "who said that?" Aside from your drinking problem I am starting to think that you may have borderline personality syndrome or be bipolar. It was just that bad sometimes.

 

And I feel bad for the first boyfriend you had after your divorce. He got the same treatment as I. A nice, comfortable relationship and then WHAM! The sudden breakup with no explanation. But, I guess that's what happened with you and your husband. That's what he did to you and now you can repay the males of the species one at a time. Perhaps you're aware you're doing it. Perhaps not.

 

All I know is that you seem to be on a downward spiral. The drinking, the risky sex...none of it is going to serve you well. And, be careful, not every guy is going to be as comforting and safe for you as I was. Your episodes of acting out are going to catch up to you. I wish I could save you but I know that you are in denial. I know that you are caught up in some bad stuff and your friends are just enabling you. Giving you cocaine, alcohol and psychedelic drugs is their way of "helping." You're 38. You have kids and a good job. You may fool yourself into thinking that you can handle it but you know that's folly. You've been to rehab before and you should know that your path isn't going anywhere good. I feel for you. I hurt for me. I hurt for you. It sucks right now. But, at least I got this out. As mad as I am at you I'd still come pick you up out of the gutter if you needed me and could bring yourself to let your pride down... but I guess that's not gonna matter. You'll be in the gutter with some random pickup from the bar and I guess you can take your comfort in that.

Me, I'm gonna work on unf***king my own life. I love me and I'm going to take care of me since I lost so much of myself trying to take care of you. --- goodbye.------

Edited by tbsfw
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You left me in the deepest, darkest moments in my life, you walked out on me for your own selfish reasons. You are so ungrateful. And your punishment is that i will never allow you back into my life. Get lost.

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One day, when it is all said and done, when you are alone once again, you will have to deal with your lonely life without me. A choice that you made without hesitation. A choice that you thought was right.

 

I await the day you come back to me so that i can say "get lost".

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neghitzbrah

Hey I know we haven't spoken in a while and you have reached out to me a few times. The only thing I've given back to you was nothing. I know it seemed kind of rude but I needed to do it. I needed time away from you to heal and move on.

 

To be honest you are on my mind from time to time and I think about us and how it used to be. But I keep forgetting about the bad things. The reason why we broke up.

 

1. We needed to be apart from each other because it was preventing us from growing. At least that's how I feel it was for me. In the past few months I have become quite a different person from what I used to be. I have found new interests, but only am so far in discovering myself.

 

2. There was no independency. We relied much on others for living. This is the way I see it.. we lived in your parents house for so long, but never got a chance to fend for ourselves for a little bit. This is the part of growing up that I needed. And I never got it the longer I stayed at your house. This hardly constitutes for a breakup though.

 

3. I was confused. I felt that I loved you at times, but sometimes it was gone. Sometimes I just wanted to run away and be gone from it all. It was nothing personal, it is just something that I felt.

 

4. I felt as though this might not be the one. I mean, are we supposed to fight all the time like the way we used to? Not resolve anything only to leave it for a fight later on or get brought up again? I didn't think it was a healthly way to live. Is that really how it was going to be? Would it have gotten any better? I wasn't sure. You were my first Long Term Relationship and real girlfriend.

 

5. Pressure!! So much pressure. The engagement, the moving in, the rushing. It's not anyone else's fault but our own.

 

6. I felt attracted to other women. I'm sorry, I had the grass is greener syndrome. It was something that I regret from time to time but I didn't want to continue our relationship because it would only get worse. I never did anything nor would I ever. I know you felt this too, because you admitted you were attracted to that guy at work. I felt attracted toward other woman, too. But I never pursued, because that's not me.

 

7. I was seflish. I didn't care about you, your feelings. I didn't understand you sometimes because I never listened. I don't know why, but I understand now.

 

After realizing all this, I am not saying I want to get back together or anything because it probably won't be a good idea. I have progressed a lot. My sad days are behind me and I would love to be friends again with you.

 

BUT I am confused. I don't know if those feelings will erupt again. I haven't seen you in months. I haven't heard your voice in months. I don't want it all to come back because I would not want us to get into the same mess we were in before. But I want to let you know that I have changed.

 

I am not asking for another shot... I just would like you to be in my life again. It is what I miss because I always wonder how you are. I hope everything with you is okay.

 

And also, this world ending **** is kinda in the back of my head. I know we always spoke to meeting with each other again in case the world ends. But we have to continue this NC. And here I am on Loveshack.org continuing it.

 

:] A cracked smile because I am submitting this message here when I would rather call her and tell her this.

 

Sincerely

S

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The Great Gazoo

Every time I talk to you on the phone your coldness and detachment catches me off guard and makes me feel so sad. I should know better. I'm a fool. I still love you and I want to make that connection with you and it's so hard to remember that you don't feel it anymore or are denying feeling it.

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I miss you so much. I don't know if I could ever trust you again after this, and I don't think it would be a good idea to give you another chance... but I miss you. I miss your companionship, and your friendship. I miss waking up next to you, and I miss snuggling with you. I miss our intimacy. I want you to come back so badly... but I hope that you never do.

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I know this seems silly because you've only been out of the house two weeks, but for the last week I've tried to play the "tough guy, I'm doing fine" act this week. Coming and going quickly when its time to pick up the kids or when you call about something that is legit. Even this morning...I just wanted to talk and talk and talk, instead I was quiet, answered your questions and said goodbye.

 

That's now how I want this baby. I want you back in my arms, back in our home. I want to go back to knowing how everything is going with you on a daily basis, not wondering who is trying to move in on you, thinking you're vulnerable, but the way it was, when you'd laugh in their face when they tried anything.

 

This shouldn't be this way gorgeous. It was supposed to be us...forever. How could we have made it through everything we made it through to end up like this?

 

You come across like you're happy. I'm getting told you're not...if you're not...what the hell are we doing then???

 

I love you gorgeous.

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Banker Chick

I can't believe I'm back on here writing you another message. We've been so up and down ... bickering, arguing over minute crap, never the big stuff. I don't know, is that good or bad? Our timing sucks. We were so close to finding a place to move into together in just a couple months and now we aren't even together. Not only do we have the distance to contend with but once again, with you taking a summer class, our time is severely limited ... not optimal when two people are trying to figure out if they should be together or not. We are now in a holding pattern.

 

So I know you didn't really like it when I suggested we just take the next 5 weeks and do our own thing but keep in close contact as friends. I know you don't like it because that means I'm going to date but you've admitted you don't know what you want so I feel we both need to figure things out. This allows you to not have pressure from me to get together and you can concentrate on your class and it also gives us a chance to see, once and for all, if this is the relationship for us. That excites me and terrifies me at the same time. I know we've agreed to get together at the end of 5 weeks although you think we'll see each other before then. I know there's no chance you won't want to see me at that point because above all else, you've wanted to remain friends and you'll want to get together and hang out. I'll be nervous, as I'm sure you will be too ... will we still be attracted to each other? Will we want to remain friends only?

 

Time will tell I suppose.

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The Great Gazoo

I can't believe this has happened, that my pretty perfect life has taken this twist into insanity. You're gone and totally moved on. You're not even able to take a look back after 9 years. You don't even care how I feel at all :(

 

Today you're actually going on a motorbike ride with someone else. The activity that we shared and enjoyed, our thing. What I taught you to do and you started because of me. My heart is so crushed. The jealousy is breaking my back -- I'm trying so hard to not let it effect me but my heart just won't listen to my brain. Why even tell me about it? Why make it hurt even more? Why?

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