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polywog

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I still commit the mistake of passing by your edifice on the car (I have to, and you know it's true), and taking a glimpse to my right, and tonight I saw the other guy's car in there.

Which is great because I don't even feel the urge anymore to go spy on you at 12 am just too see if the lights are off, just to see if he's there still.

 

Good for you, just take care not to get a STD out of sleeping with so much people in such a short time.

But now it's day 4 since I've felt great and without the need to spy on you, hack your damn accounts, or track you via GPS.

Niceee! :)

 

I think I'm getting over you slowly but going hard!!!!

 

 

wow seriously?

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It's funny how the tables turn...

 

At first all I could see was how wonderful of a person you were. How you were my everything and my future. I gave you it all! Every last trusting drop I could muster and squeeze out... I gave it to you.

 

Even when you hurt my feelings from time to time, and broke up with me once before. I sucked it up and just chalked it up to being "emotions" I could move past. You were perfect in my eyes... even with all of your imperfections.

 

Now I realize that although I may still love you (which I'm working on), You're a liar, and a perpetrator. You made it where you will never be able to deliver upon the promises that you made to me and that makes you a liar no matter what you say. You pretended to be someone worthy of all my love and all my effort, and pretended that you were able to reciprocate that and you weren't that makes you a perpetrator.

 

You were also a coward because although you found the balls to break up with me twice, not once did you allow me to be a part of the decision. Not once did you honestly just open up and discuss what the real issues influencing your decision were. You were able to do it with your friends, or alone but when it came to me... you'd just hand me the final verdict. Remember asking me to trust you and let you in? Remember promising to never hurt me? Newflash: I did, and you betrayed me.

 

F*ck you and all of your arrogance! I wasted years and opportunities with other people who were interested in getting to know me, to be faithful and committed to you because I loved you and I believed we could make it through anything. Through my moods, through your moods, through moments of unaffection, and cold behavior, I consistently let you serve as hope, motivation and a one of my sources of happiness. That's what real love is. Anytime I could be, I was there for you. F*ck me for ever trusting a word that came out of your mouth when from the beginning I should've known you'd be just another lie in a pretty package.

 

I'd say something cocky or bitchy because i'm close to being that spiteful. But out of the shred of respect and decency that I somehow manage to maintain for all of the people who've done me wrong in my life... I won't say it. You did a number on me. Congrats.

 

Almost word for word. Cept I'm the pathetic guy who let HER walk all over me because of her beauty.

Edited by Winherback
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california15

I miss you

 

remember when I told you that, and all you used to say was "Yeah I know"

 

I'm writing here because don't want to get another response like that, but I do miss you very much. Everyday. I think I will for a very long time, but I'm not waiting - I'm living my life :)

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bikinibeach

you're disgusting, i hate you and i hope this leaves you MISERABLE for a long time to come.

 

i pray for the next poor soul you involve in your ****ed up drama.

 

you are a failure in life and a failure as a boyfriend and a failure as a man....get it??

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Happy Father's Day you pathetic loser. I am so mad at you right now. I found a good home for "our" dog and it's breaking my heart to let her go. I feel like you did this to me all over again ..........you broke my heart walking away without even talking about what happened. Now I am left 9 weeks later with having to find the dog a home where she will be loved and taken care of because I can't provide that by myself. You knew that - you know that - you *******. You dumped me and walked away from the responsibility of the dog we were to take care of together. Now I have to give her up. I hate you right now. I have been crying all weekend over this and I want you to know how much I'm hurting. The funny thing is that you don't care! I have been trying really hard to wish you good things and be thankful for everything I had with you but not today. Today I wish you misery.

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TearyEyedPride

Oh yeah... I'm still angry. I've contemplated calling you like 4 times today. Why? Beats the f*ck out of me! I'm not even sure what I'd say to you. I could rehash my feelings... but for what? I could call just to say I miss you... but what would be the point?

 

I believed you at first when you said you loved me, but now I don't think that's true. I believed you when you said you'd always have a place in your heart for me. Guess how special I felt when I came to LS and realized that the same line was in the douchebag dumper "Hall of Fame". It hurts. It does... and I'm wishing it didn't. Smh. I wanna scream... but I won't. I wanna tell you this but I won't. Why let you have the satisfaction of seeing how much you hurt me and damaged me, when I know it won't make a difference? You've become just another person I have to pretend for.

 

I want out... out of this bond and hold that you seem to have on my heart. I want you out of my head. I want you out of my system. I just wanna flush all of these thoughts and feelings concerning you away. I think I'd rather be hollow right now. What happened to that numb feeling? Can I have another shot of that?

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You’ve made me feel so bad about being who I am. I don’t even want to do things like watch my favourite tv programmes or listen to songs I love anymore. I’ve even come to totally resent my job! All I wanted was to give you what I thought you wanted, because it’s also what I wanted. Remember back when you lived in Bradford? It was you who wanted us to move in together, I was dead set against it because I wanted to have my own place to be me for a bit, and then move in with you. But you convinced me that it would be better for us to try straight away, so in turn I’ve been trying my hardest to do that for you, and now that makes me feel like such a bad person because I feel like you and everyone in Newcastle has labelled me as a boring person, and that all I’m looking for is to settle down. Why is it such a bad thing that I could see a future for us? It’s not something I just want for me, it’s something I want for us, and it is certainly not something I want immediately, I wanted that future to happen over the course of many years. Sometimes I may act like it, but I am NOT an old man trapped in a young body! My sense of adventure is still present, and I was really looking forward to spending time with you enjoying all the things we both love. This summer was supposed to be the start of something amazing for us! We were meant to have trips to Alton Towers, I’d have probably come to join you at Sonisphere again, enjoy some more time in Bath making use of our Spa vouchers and going for another one of those fantastic walks around Bradford-on-Avon, I was planning on making your birthday the best it could possibly be, organising all kinds of surprises for you and your friends, finally topping it all off with your sister’s wedding. I was so looking forward to that! The time we could have had together that week was the perfect opportunity for me to show just how much I love you, and we could have had so much fun! Now I’m faced with nothing this summer.

 

And I was willing to do so much more to make things easier and happier, and importantly to show you how deep my love for you is. I’d even planned on doing things with your parents to integrate better and show them I was worthy to be with you, last time I was in Bath I even talked to your dad about how I could support you, both in terms of love and finance. I had intended on bonding with your dad by him teaching me to read music. I’d even started looking at how I could be of assistance to your mum for when things eventually start to get worse with your dad’s eyesight.

 

Now I know I have my faults, but when I stepped back to look at them I realised they are just silly little things that I didn’t appreciate at the time. I wish now that I’d kept the original business cards you made for me because that was a wonderful gesture you made for me, and a few days ago I really wished I had one to give to someone instead of the ones I made because I needed something for me, not work. I’m also sorry about the ginger bread men you wanted to make, and that was a genuine slip of the mind but I should’ve taken into account that it was something you had your heart set on doing and making the time to do it. It’s the same for me butting in whenever you were cooking, I was so short-sighted in not seeing that you just wanted to do something nice for me and I shouldn’t have stepped on your independence. And I know I’ve picked up a jealous streak recently, and in all honesty that came on just because I started to feel unworthy to be with you.

 

I have done nothing but adore you, be there for you no matter what the cost. I don’t think you can remember this but on the final night of Download last year I was so tired from my final shift, and so cold from getting the soaking I got from watching Porcupine Tree that after I’d been to see that film about Rush I decided to go to bed while you went off to party with L. At 3am H and R woke me because they couldn’t find you, I finally got through to your phone and you asked to come get you because you were lost and couldn’t find your way back to the camp site and your phone was going to die. I got up, went to the arena and roamed around trying to find you. When I eventually did, I helped you stand up and walk because you were so drunk you could hardly move and I took you back to our tent. On the way back you unleashed a torrent of abuse at me for supposedly judging you for being so drunk, you kept telling me to **** off because I clearly didn’t care, but I stuck with you all the way to the tent because I was so worried about you and more importantly because I loved you. I accepted a long time ago, in fact on my second trip to see you in Newcastle that you have this side to you when you drink and I would always tolerate it because that is a part of you, and I would never wish to change you. Can you understand why I don’t like drinking? I don’t like not being in control of myself, but I would never judge you for that, I’d just do my best to make sure you were alright, and the fact that you resented me for doing that for you just hurts.

 

I don’t think you ever knew the extent in which I went to make sure we could be together. The first thing I did when you moved back down to Bath was to start looking for work there. I was even contemplating just upping sticks and moving down to Bath and looking for work whilst there, especially when you had that job in Swindon but I didn’t want to be so presumptuous as to expect your parents to be alright with me living in their house. And I was always on the look out for jobs while you were in Harrogate. And the thing is I never minded doing that because that’s the nature of my industry, and if I couldn’t get that then I would not have cared. So long as I got to be with you.

 

I’ve sacrificed so much. You knew how much I did to juggle things to make sure you didn’t become secondary to my job! You also knew how much I’d come to hate that job because of the affect it was having on me. I didn’t tell you that if I had gone for that interview at the Drum Shop I would have got the job. They said that I was their strongest applicant and if I’d done a good interview it would have been mine. The whole point of me taking the time off around the Rush gigs was so I could prepare to move, and those concerts were ruined because of all this!

 

And now we’re apart all I can think about when I go into work is how much I’ve lost and still have to put up with. We had a staff meeting the other day where all the political **** came to a head and while everyone argued all I could think of was that I should have escaped from there to be with you until eventually I exploded in a rage, told everyone what I think of them, then stormed off and punched through a plasterboard wall!

 

Last year do you know just how much time and work I shifted around so I could surprise you for your birthday? You said how much you wanted me there, so I came, and since then I’ve mostly heard you complain about me being there. I can’t believe you resented me for doing something nice for you! And I’ve talked to the guys and explained about my jealousy issues and they’re fine with it.

 

You said that at Hammerfest I appeared to have more in common with H than you, but you were the one who kept running off and leaving me alone with her! I wanted to spend as much time with you as I could that weekend but you were always going off with L! I wanted so much to party with you because it was the first time in a long time you’d felt well enough to do so, but you were never there! The most I saw you was in the car on the drive home!

 

But the biggest thing I’ve given up in devotion to you recently was S’s dad’s funeral. I really wanted to go to that, but I gave it up because I knew how much you wanted me to be there for that MRI scan. You argued with me for not understanding your illnesses, but was I not there for you whenever you called? I got every glass of water, every pill, even ran baths and filled hot water bottles, I did everything I possibly could to try make you feel better, and for you to use your illnesses against me after everything I did for you is frankly unfair and insulting to how much I care for you, and I’m sorry for pushing the sex thing with you, but I’m a highly sexual guy, as you know, and I just missed your touch, and you’re all I’ve ever wanted so how could I not? I never had eyes for anybody else.

 

It looks like you’ve just used me since December. Back when we split before Christmas you pleaded with me to take you back. Why? If this was always the way things were going to end, why did you want me back? Was it because you were lonely? It looks like you stopped caring about me once I became surplus to requirements, and I even asked you when you were leaving Harrogate not to look upon me as something that holds you down, and that Newcastle would be the making of us. You just seem to have totally ignored my wants and feelings. Ever since you gave me it I’ve been listening to that usb mix tape you made you me. Did the words in any of those songs mean anything? Did that Seether video you sent me before I came up for Easter mean anything?

 

I’ve heard that when you go to Sonisphere you want a super hero day. And to be totally honest that massively upset me because, along with moving back to Newcastle, to me that looks like you are trying to regress back to the time before you met me. You asked me the last time you saw me if I thought you didn’t care about me, and quite frankly it looks so much like I just plain didn’t matter to you, like I was holding you down and you couldn’t wait to escape. If I was so wrong for you then why didn’t you just put me out of my misery years ago? And the worst part of it all is I’m so insanely jealous right now. I can’t stop thinking about you with other guys and me not being the centre of your world anymore. There was a point just a few months ago at the Katy Perry concert where you said to me that I was all that would ever matter to you, and it hurts so much to think that isn’t the case right now. The thought of another man touching you makes my physically sick to my stomach. I forgave you for cheating because I thought you were truly sorry for it and wanted to make an effort to show me that what you said about loving me was true.

 

After everything I’ve said in this message you’d think that I hate you, and by all rights I should. I’m so angry at you for making me have to go through this. But the fact is I just can’t hate you because I still love you and I’ll never stop loving you. I miss you so much, and it is killing me not hearing from you every day, not being able to tell you about every little funny thing that’s happened in my day. A few weeks ago G came home after one of her nights out and it was so funny, my first instinct was to call you to share how much I was laughing. I miss your cuddles, being in your arms and knowing that nothing would ever go wrong whilst I was there. I miss the laughter we had together because you made everything so much more fun. And most of all I just miss your presence. Whenever you were around my world was such a better place, and it was all down to you just being you. I’m so sorry if some of this stuff has upset you or made you angry, but please know that I don’t hate you and I don’t think you’re a bitch. I love and adore you. I can’t function without you. You complete me. My life just isn’t right without you.

Edited by dicky_fish
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monday is always my hardest day. just knowing your not contacting me spells out your okay. but i still have that little hope that you'll break down soon.

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brokendreamz

I was depressed but neither of us realised that was what was wrong -

I'd been going down hill for months - probably since we got engaged. I guess the old insecurities that I'd been running from for so long finally caught up with me and I spent way too long in my head searching for a way to marry you without confronting my them.

 

I could never tell you how I felt or show you enough proper affection - I thought I'd jinx our relationship. I even questioned wether I loved you or not! They say you don't ever truly know how deep your love is until it's gone... Mine is obviously bottomless!

 

You were always so kind and loving to me, you protected me from stuff and I let you. That wasn't a good thing but we didn't realise that at the time. I should have been protecting you and making sure I was making you happy.

 

You told me you wanted a break in September and dissapeared for a couple of days - I understood that you wanted time to think about the Vegas wedding, I was wrong - you were evaluating our relationship.

 

You came back telling me you love me, you wouldn't try to change me and we should leave the grown up stuff (marriage) for later. That made sense to me but looking back, I can see how you began to distance yourself from me.

 

Winter came and I got really screwed up in my head with everything and every one. While all this was going on, you started going out more and looking more and more gorgous but I couldn't bring myself to tell you how low I felt. I needed you sooo much but you didn't know; that black dog had sunk it's teeth onto my neck so deep it had a strangle hold.

 

You'd get back from your stressful job after getting up to go to the gym at 6.30am. You started going at that time cos I complained you were never home in the evenings! But when you did get in, all you were greeted with was a grumpy, un fit, screwed up, moaning iodiot.

 

You put up with that for as long as you could but rather than confront me and have a chat about how you were feeling after being together 8 years, you got sucked in by the guy at your work - you know; the tee total football freak - the TOTAL opposite of me!! - and started remembering how it felt to be in the honeymoon period of a new relationship. You felt lust for the first time in ages, you were confused because you know you LOVED me, but I hadn't made you feel special for years :0( I'm so sorry flower - I was ill but didn't know it.

 

You promised you weren't leaving me for anyone else. You promised me there was no one waiting in the wings, that you just wanted to be on your own, that you didn't have the time or inclination to get into another relationship.

 

The last time I saw you, you told me your were Dating him but hadn't slept together (not that I should have asked - it was/is none of my business anymore what you get up to!) but you said you would do. That destroyed me and any hope I had of us ever getting back together.

 

I HATE that you are with him - it has raised so many painful questions that I don't want to know the answer to, and made me question your honesty and faithfulness both psyical and emotional since the email he sent in 2008.

 

The girl I knew would never have gone with a blatant playa like that before but I can't help but think my depression pushed you into his arms.

 

It's unfathomable that I will never talk to or see you again after the house is sold. I had some of the best times of my life with you over the last 8 years, now I can't even look at a photo of you!!

 

I'm in the best psyical and mental shape of my life - I actually have girls chasing me and have been out with a couple of them but it never goes anywhere cos for me there's still only you. You're still the last thing I think of at night and the first thing on my mind when I wake up - I think about you all day and can't even escape you in my dreams!

 

It scares me that I still feel so strongly about you and the things I want to do to the man who ever so slowly took you away from me. I hope I never meet him!! The lads suggested going to your work to confront him but I know you'd hate that so out of respect for you I'll leave it... for the time being.

 

I love you sooo much and my god I needed you a few months back. I wish I'd only just met you and I hate that I'll never meet Amilee and Harry/Archie!! They'd have been cool kids - especially with a Mum like you :0)

 

I hope you're happy from the bottom of my heart!

See you next lifetime Pertle XX

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so - - i made it through the day yesterday without caving in and sending you the "happy father's day" text like i used to. and to be honest - - i feel great about it! it just would have been a lame excuse to contact you and i mean really, you don't need to hear that from me anyway. not that you aren't a great dad - - i know you are. but the only person you really need to hear that from is your son and maybe even your son's mother. besides, i saved my father's day greetings for another great dad i know - - my own :)

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GIGS!? What a f*cking joke! You'll never do better than me and I'll never do better than you! I sacrificed everything for you and this is the repayment I get!? Time for you to snap out of your little bubble and notice that you're not a student anymore, neither are your friends, particularly that poisonous witch who is only using you to get back in with her own friends! You are my whole world and I had built my life around that, now I've got nothing, just a hoodie of yours that I cry into on a daily basis. I keep it near just so I can be reminded of your scent and how safe you always used to make me feel. Did me looking after you while you were "ill" not show you just how much you mean to me and what a great guy I am!?

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I did everything for you, I would have done anything for you to make you happy because you were my best friend, my lover and soul mate.

 

You were my first love, you were at all the most important occasions in my life. My 21st, my graduation, everything.

 

It breaks my heart to look back on all the times we shared and I think how did it ever come to this.

 

I bought you an eternity ring because I wanted to spend my life with you.

 

I guess I felt more for you than you did me.

 

I guess I was naive. I'll stay strong.

Edited by Steven T
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You are the biggest piece of garbage I have ever had the unfortunate pleasure of knowing in my entire life! You are a 32 yr old pathetic excuse for a human being that decided to control, manipulate and abuse a sweet-hearted girl that is almost 8 years younger than you!

 

I should have known better judging by the way you treat your family, your ex-wife and your son. Stupid me.

 

I hate you. I hate that I still love you. I hate you for cheating on me multiple times. I hate you for getting me pregnant and destroying my trust and sanity to the point where I got an abortion that to this day I still think about. And then to use that against me to cheat on a regular bassi and manipulate me to that extent when you know I have a big heart and you know how much I love you... YOU'RE SICK. Disgusting pathetic pig.

 

You have done some horrible things to me that only a narcissistic monster like you is capable of... but the worst has got to be leaving me in the hospital fighting for my life after a serious car accident while you're out gallivanting with slut #673. That I will never ever forget!

 

I'm glad you jumped into a new relationship just 2 weeks after I dumped your sorry ass once and for all! You know why?? Because you never got over me.. and while I'm healing you're pushing yourself to move forward and will remain the sad miserable loser you have always been. And one day (sooner than later) you will wake up next to her and that sickening feeling in the pit of your stomach is going to return like it used to after every time you cheated..but this time I won't be around to make you feel better!

 

Keep asking my friends about me all you want.. because that's the closest you will ever get to me again!

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I spent all the money I had going to see you and treating you when I could, yet you said I -never- did. You know what, I would have taken you out more but you refused to come down my way! And how many times has the new man been for you, once, and where do you keep running three times a week? Yeah. I should have realised you were full of rubbish the whole time. Relationships aren't a one way street, the guy shouldn't have to do /all/ the work.

 

I can't wait till we meet in December, seeing your face fill with regret is going to be priceless. You know I was an amazing boyfriend and once that chav's done with you, I know where you'll come crawling. But sorry. You cheated. That door's closed forever.

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Hi xxxxx

 

There is a lot of thoughts I have in my mind and things I would like to say but actually putting it all into words is difficult. At the time when we broke up I felt like I was walking on eggshells and I do admit I did say some nasty things, which I did apologise for but you didn't want to know anything I had to say. I hope you understand I had to rationalise your silence and sudden dislike of me. I was annoyed that you didn't ever want to talk about it and I think it was a real shame we couldn't work it out but I cannot change you, you decided what you wanted and it did not involve me (all of a sudden) so I have accepted that and tried to move on.

 

2011

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marqueemoon4

I may be alone and missing my son, but I know I deserve so much better than you. you never had any business being with me, and never will.

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i would really love to give you a slap across the head for being such a idiot, grow up and realize what your doing, cuz i have.

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I have great news, for myself.

 

I am over you!

 

All I have left is anger for you, you dont even derserve my anger.

 

You have lost an amazing boyfriend.

 

I am happy and living my life :)

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Ouch.. My broken heart hurts so much.

 

I love you so so much. I'm so so sorry for hurting you and saying the things I did.

 

I should have kept all those feelings bottled up and never let them explode out as I did. I'm so sorry. I wish you'd forgive me and come back, because I love you so much and I'd be willing to do almost anything to make it work between us.

 

Love you so so much.

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I know I made some mistakes but I think everything I've done to show you how much I care and how sorry I am for hurting you would have shown you something. I know you're dating someone and I'm sorry I didn't contact you on your birthday, but understand it would just be too difficult for me to open myself up to any more hurt. I do belive deep down you are the same loving person I fell in love with, but please don't continue on like this. I know you want to be free and enjoy your life. I know that I was often way too hard on you but know that you were my first serious GF and I was destined to make mistakes the first time around. You've told me you are still in love with me and could see yourself as part of my family, but what does your love mean if you rather spend time slutting it up than hurting me so badly. You have scarred me in a way I never knew possible. If you didn't love me, you should have just said so and let me be. All the things you said to me just kept me in your back pocket for even longer and I can't imagine ever getting over how you treated me. I hurt you and spent 7 months showing you how much I cared. You hurt me and left me for dead.

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mine would go like this

we have to have contact at some point so she can et her things from me ,she said she'd call when she had the time to do it ,we were together for 4 yrs she just up and walked out of my place a month ago no explination,no reason all i got from her is ''i don't love you anymore'' ''i'm not in love with you anymore''

YEA

hi scott how are you, what ya been up to ?

HOPE ur gonna let me know when you can get your crap i'm not running a storage facility here

well i was thinking of maybe next thursday sometime

WELLi can help you i can throw tthe **** in my car drive by your place one night and just start tossing the **** on your front lawn

you sound bitter, down right mean even i thought we were friends

FRIENDS ? you must be taking some illegal drugs their OR maybe you're just a dumb ass B***H

what the hell is up with you geez

ME not a damn thing your interupting me planning my trip to disney land to celebrate your miserable existance from my life

ohh really ?

YEA and if your planning to go the same time as me i'm sure you wouldn't be hard to miss you'd be the one on your knees with Mickeys d**K in your mouth

go f***k yourself

AH go suck some character C**K ya slutty B***h

''SLAM'' end of that call

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light_vader

Yeah so, I have not contacted you for about two weeks.

Seems like you're still ****ing that bat-faced prick... good for you. Did you ever thought, by the way, of what his fiancee or ex-fiancee is feeling now?

 

Anyway, I've been great, now I'm even looking for a job, to start a new life that goes along my renewed mind, and if one of the benefits is not seeing your face all day long, hell yeah!

 

So I hope to get that new job soon, then I can finally say goodbye to even your presence.

 

Oh and you laughing today out loud saying those terrible jokes you always did (I'm sorry I lied, you're no funny really.. I am dark funny... you are... dumb funny) made me remember I hated that, or having to fake a smile everytime you tried to act funny or tried to tell a joke.

And no I don't say this out of anger at all... which is something you'd assume because you have no clue of who I am at all.

 

Bye

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