Post here instead of contacting your ex!

June 24, 2011

YEA and if your planning to go the same time as me i'm sure you wouldn't be hard to miss you'd be the one on your knees with Mickeys d**K in your mouth

:lmao::lmao:

June 24, 2011

i miss "you".

....who i thought you were. what i felt we had. i think i'm over it but then i just find myself reeling in pain and not fully back to square one but halfway there, maybe.

i know i can't contact you.

i STILL can't get over how HORRIBLY you treated me. sneakily. you were an ******* disguised as a sensitive man who loved pets and had only girls for friends.

......until i found out that all those girls were needy and socially inept and messed in the head. i am not of those girls.

be "friends" with you after this? oh, how i would truly love to, damn my heart. but i just can NOT let my dignity dip SO low.

those girls disrespected me and our relationship purposefully, testing your backbone which proved to not exist except when defending their actions to me, vehemently.

shame on you. i was the best thing that ever happened to you!! do you know how AWESOME i am??? i am the best girlfriend ever.

yet you chose your horse faced insecure "friend" who is jealous of any girlfriend you have and treats her like **** and walks all over boundaries, your joke of a "best friend" ex who ....good god, i don't even know where to begin with that ****ed up ****. she is dumb ****ing bitch. crazy i*****. better watch out, one day she'll trade your friendship for peace pipes and fire water. guarantee it. her ghetto ass family that drinks in the street, begs for money, brothers in jail and now she wants to drag you down too? doesn't want you to be happy and you willingly allow it? just so that you can make random comments about old men lawnmowing and have that make you feel validated in life????

i loved you because i saw so many of the traits in you that i despised in myself and i think deep down i wanted to prove to myself that someone like that is lovable.

i wanted to love someone like that who would understand me, but not use me, emotionally abuse me and constantly chose other's comfort over my happiness.

that person is myself. i can't stop YOU from hurting me, but i can stop MYSELF from hurting me by never letting you into my life again.

it kills me so much.

i don't know if i will ever forget your holding me all night in that top bunk. driving wildly with me through the desert at dusk with out a map, a full tank of gas or a plan.

you made me happy.

i was so blind to why i kept on hurting.

i love "you".

i hate you.

June 25, 2011

also

you do realize that a year or years or manyyears down the line, when this wound is no longer fresh, i still will not be able to deal with anything to do with you?

to maybe find out that you married her? or that she kept you lonely all that time, still?

i never want to know.

in making the choice s that you did, you lost me from your life forever, do you realize that?

flippantly say see you soon, thinking i will display the same level of interest and attachment that i did when we were together.

do you think i am one of those weak unhealthy girls that you are friends with??

yes, i obsess from time to time. yes i spend too much time on online forums seeking to vent and find people who have greater troubles than me (there are many) and sure its pretty sad ... but this is just a short phase. i am learning so much.

especially about this side of myself that i have NEVER seen before.

i am now loving myself the way that i tried to love you.

also, i probably don't care as much as these past few posts would suggest even....

i have pms.

ps: also, i always thought that you kind of had fat guy hands. and you're a little bit pigeon toed.

i'm not sayin! just sayin

June 25, 2011

I hope you choke tomorrow. I want you to fail in every way possible. I hope you chase your dream endlessly and never achieve anything in life. You have been nothing but a bane to my existence. And when you are at your very lowest and lonliest I hope that you look up and realize that the one person who really gave a damn about you and took the time to get to know the real you doesn't need or want you anymore. You gave up a life of happiness and joy for your future of lonliness and sadness.

June 25, 2011

Hey *****

I am just sending this to say that, well, I just don't care any more and I hope you know that as well.

I don't hate you and I never loved. That isn't meant to "spite" you or hurt you. I sat down and thought about it and just realised that, I trusted my best friend more than you and in my opinion, if I loved you, that wouldn't be the case. I cared for you more than anything but it wasn't love.

In all honesty, I just can't give a care about what is going on with you. I just realised that you aren't my problem any more. I blocked you on facebook as I didn't want to just spend all my time on your profile.

I started not caring about 3 weeks ago. This is significant as, well, I had a "light bulb moment". I realised that I couldn't go on like the way I was and it was only after you left that I truly opened my eyes to what I was.

I realised negative feelings/emotions I had towards you were useless as it just made me think of you more and more.

Anger, hate, spite and jealousy consumed me for most of my life due to my childhood and other factors but I can say, with a positive mind set, that these feels are starting to go. I understand that they will always be there in my mind as they are natural but feelings of happiness, self worth, trust are starting to flood in. I've changed, you may not think it but I have. I'm not saying this to be like "Look how much happier I am without you" or "Take me back as I have changed". I guess I am saying thank you as it was the break up which made me change.

When I see you next year in physics, I am going to treat you with respect. In my mind every human deserves respect. I know that you didn't give that to me when you rubbed your knew guy in my face but that is your decision.

With your new guy, if he makes you happy, GOOD LUCK. I honestly wish you the best with him. I hope that you 2 stay together for a while. If it makes you happy, it makes me happy. I just want you to be happy.

Regards,

Rory

June 25, 2011

It's exactly a year since that horrible time when you got hospitalised. Remember that I was there for you every step of the way through that recovery? You have always been my top priority.

It finally hit me two nights ago just what you've done to me. You did the worst thing you could possibly do to me. You lied, cheated, gave me everything I'd ever wanted, then threw my good grace back in my face! I don't deserve any of this! And no matter what your friends may say I don't deserve "someone" else. I deserve the proper treatment from you! We are made for each other, I won't do better and neither will you so grow up, realise what we have and come back to me. I'll be waiting.

June 25, 2011

*email*

I have been wanting to talk to you since we decided to not speak for a while. You really hurt me and it would have been nice if you were a bit more sympathetic instead of filing reports for your job afterwards. You did not and do not care how I feel or felt. You are not as nice as you think you are. You are mean.

You could care less when someone you apparently care about is hurting because of you. I know about your twitter flirting and your obsession with your co-worker.

I am tired of all of your lies and you really pissed me off. You could not even make time to see me even though you said you liked me since you first saw me and said you always wanted to see me. I could not see you even though we were 30 minutes away. It was YOU that contacted me after two years after our first meeting and chased me for a year. I care deeply about you and always made sure that you had a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on, but you would not even give me the luxury of the truth which I still do not know.

I should not be upset about the way we ended things, but I feel like you are not telling me the truth and the truth always surfaces. I never wish anything bad on anyone, but the way you treated me was unacceptable and it will come back to bite you. You knew all along what you wanted and you would just hoped that I would conform to what you wanted while you completely ignored and failed to acknowledge what I would wanted or needed.

I know that I will talk to you in the future, not for a while, because I do need to tell you this in person and I want the truth from you. I am YOUR LOSS, you are NOT mine. You will never find anyone as good as me. NO one could have cared more about you than me. Maybe I am being a b**ch because I am still upset because you hurt me and you need to know that you did, even though you don't care. I can't believe I fell for all of your crap and shed as many tears as I have for you. Don't come crawling back because I will not be here. I will be with someone who can treat me better and who actually will spend time with me, not just say that they will. You say you are not ready, you were before, but just not with me and you never will be. It is best that we not talk so you can realize what you missed out on. I lived without you before and I can do it again.

June 25, 2011

I still love you and I miss you like crazy! =[

June 25, 2011

I love her. Today is her birthday and she will be out in clubs. She told me she considered us to be friends since May but was telling me she wanted my baby.

She has hurt me so much I hate women (I know that's wrong but it's how I feel at the moment).

I keep getting songs that remind me of her playing in my head.

I hate the thought of her with other boys and the fact she is a slut makes me sick.

June 25, 2011

I heard your name today and was reminded of the things we used to do when we were together. I remember our first date, i took you out to eat and then we walked the riverwalk. You were crying, i knew why. it was bc your ex never made you feel appreciated and it was i who showed you what its supposed to be like. Later that night i asked you "can i keep you" and you said "yes". I still have you, but not you, but a part of you and you have a part of me as well. Im not mad at you at all, im glad you showed me what love is and im glad i had the opportunity to experience with you, too bad it didnt last, but thats what love is and experience. I'll always remember u as the girl that i fell in love with, the one who i used to make laugh, tell her how beautiful she is, and how we used to make love. Now when i hear ur name i dont feel angry or sad at all, i feel happy.

Ty, Amanda

June 25, 2011

guess what...going to vegas with steph some other girls and some guys that (unlike you) are hot and successful!!

i wanted to say 3 things:

1) when that guy in your group said you had man boobs....he was right.

2) google narcisisstic harem. funny when you say that the people closest to you reflect you the most:

a) a codependent basketcase with depression, social anxiety and probably a myriad of other undiagnosed issues because she refuses to get help for any of it.

b) a single, extremely unattractive woman with no self esteem who uses you as an emotional tampon (google that as well) and while you will not be a couple, is determined that if she can't have you, no one can (kind of dumb because...well, you're not that good of a catch. she is probably interested in you (even if subconciously) for the same reason i was: a self hating belief that she can't do better, doesn't deserve love and should have to prove how great of a person she is, for however long, BEFORE earning your respect (which she'll never have because deep down, you realize that you could never respect someone who accepts the crumbs that you dish out).

i always felt that something was wrong there, now i know what it is. i'm grateful that meeting you brought something out of me whose strength i had underestimated. now i can get help. you, on the other hand, are likely still in deep denial. you are SERIOUSLY the most messed up young man i have EVER met in my entire life, my love.

no joke.

oh yeah..

c & d) (again) severly unattractive young woman with self esteem issues (who on earth would want to be friends with a loser of a guy who rejected them??) who might see you as someone out of her league LOOKS wise..not too hard with her though, let's be real here.

and also your pot smoking, emotionally unavailable, codependent on his mother, consistently unemployed late 30's cousin.

........these are people who best reflect you??? ouch!

June 25, 2011

oh yes, the third thing.

i am glad our affair didn't last as long as it could have if i hadn't seen the light. i can't say that it would though, because i always knew i couldn't have a future with someone who couldn't hold down a job, even a ****ty one that paid 14 dollars an hour (what is the point of even showingup for that meagre amount?), had a very disturbing relationship with his parents, and also has some kind of fight or confrontation with someone at every job he is lucky to get.

come on, you got fired from v@lue village ffs

.....lol

ah gosh. time to stop obsessing. this has nothing to do with you, by the way. i have obsessed like this about friends or women who have done me wrong.

June 26, 2011

A thread started by No Foolin' a long time ago.

Hope this helps everyone who needs to do NC.

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t56954/

June 26, 2011

A thread started by No Foolin' a long time ago.

Hope this helps everyone who needs to do NC.

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t56954/

It's Thread Gold.... and is one of the greatest threads I've read on ANY relationship board.

In Jan., during a particularly low period of my marriage and life (read the thread I started here on that) was seriously considering contacting a woman I ALMOST got engaged to in 1988.... It devastated me when it ended against my will and suddenly, 22 yrs. later, I got all these feelings of what it felt like when she dumped me.

Was like I felt all the pain rushing through me again...

What did I do wrong? Why couldn't I have done this and that?

Would burst into short periods of tears. Was a wreck at work for about a week.

Desperately searched for any photos I had of her and I. Found one. Scanned it and viewed it.

Wanted to call her best friend and inquire about how my EX was doing. Had the phone number and was ready to call her...

Then did a quick web search on contacting your EX.

Read the thread whichwayisup referenced... and BINGO !!! Ain't gonna initiate any contact.

No Foolin' is a wise man who offers a wealth of experience for the heartbroken who think they can "go back" to the sweeter times when the other wanted them.

As the thread is closed (timed out), no one can post new replies or stories to it. Understand the OP can always update it. Wish No Foolin would go in and "bump" it with a new reply so others can update their stories...

June 26, 2011

I wish it was a sticky at the top of this forum. But, it isn't and that's why on occasion I pop in here and post his link.

Glad FM that his thread helped you so much!

June 26, 2011

I wish it was a sticky at the top of this forum. But, it isn't and that's why on occasion I pop in here and post his link.

Glad FM that his thread helped you so much!

No Foolin's advice was a godsend and just what I needed.

My wife and I have lived in sep. states since July (she's returning this summer however).

Last fall, had a lonely weekend and thought our marriage was over.

This is all explained in a thread I started.

Refusal-Long time refused & considering leaving..

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t253953/

Began making progress trying to restore emotional intimacy to our marriage. Figured the sex would return, and it is.

However, being alone in Jan., started down old memories and thinking about the pain the breakup with that 30 y.o. virgin I dated at 26...

It still hurt, the rejection and pain I felt. All the expectations I put in her and how she was the one who would make me happy and end my loneliness...

That was all of 22 years ago !!!

Yet... I couldn't avoid the pain. Was like I hadn't really healed.... and wished I'd tried to reinitate contact, which likely would have backfired big-time.

Thankfully, that pain lasted only a week...

http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=143872&p=4649481&viewfull=1#post4649481

Thought contacting her friend would be a good idea.

Wanted this first real love of my life to say something like:

"Fla. Man, it will be all right. I know you loved and cared for me. I once loved you and I'm so sorry... You're a good guy who treated me well..."

But she likely wouldn't have said that to me....

Realized I needed to focus on improving the relationship with the woman who chose to go to the altar with me rather than long for a seemingly simpler time.... a past experience which wasn't reality.... and stop wasting my emotions thinking of someone who didn't value me or the love I had to offer her....

EDITED TO ADD:

Met my real love just 4 years later, so things tend to work out... So something doesn't work out with one, there's likely another down the road....

Edited June 26, 2011 by Floridaman

June 27, 2011

I had a girls day today... to try and help keep myself busy and to feel better. Got our nails done and went and bought some new sexy lingerie and out to dinner.

As I put the lingerie away all I could think about was how you'll never see me in it.

I really just want to call you and catch up and hear your voice.

But I won't call you.

I know she's there.

In your bed like she is everynight.

Damn today is hard.

June 27, 2011

I had a girls day today... to try and help keep myself busy and to feel better. Got our nails done and went and bought some new sexy lingerie and out to dinner.

As I put the lingerie away all I could think about was how you'll never see me in it.

I really just want to call you and catch up and hear your voice.

But I won't call you.

I know she's there.

In your bed like she is everynight.

Damn today is hard.

hugs***************

June 27, 2011

Hi ****,

It's me again....

It's strange how as time marches on, while I still think of you, it doesn't hurt as much with each passing day. Hurt is replaced with easness, sadness is replaced with comfort.

While I only knew you for a brief period of time, I fell very deeply for you.

Maybe we will see each other again one day in another life. Who knows.

~Me

June 27, 2011

What a beautiful, sunny day today. I've been puzzled as to why I didn't tell you what I did and didn't like about you. I realise now that I had figured you were too keen to behave in a way that would please me, and that's not what I wanted. I know you'd do that to begin with, but that wouldn't last, and an act is not the same as the real thing.

I don't know what you want from life. I know you want to belong, but I think you think that means belonging to someone, not belonging in a particular relationship. I just don't know what you want. Not really. And I don't think you do either.

I know you envy your sister's relationship, and that's easy to understand with a big, rich, lovable gent like her fiancée. I know you haven't let go or forgiven your ex and you wanted him back. But I am not them, nor am I your father. I am me.

Thank you. Thank you for the moments of naked love we had. It's been a long time since I've had that, too long, and that night, when you sang Roxanne, I felt like poison had seeped out of me, left my body, left me pure and clean, and I slept so well for the next 3 days. It was as if I had lost years of shackles and pain. Thank you.

And I know I compared you to my ex. I had not let that go. I am sorry that I made you feel you had to compete with a ghost. No-one can compete with a ghost; neither of us could. And a relationship with 4 personalities is, well, a bit too crowded.

The way you present your experiences upsets me. You said you "were sold" and that your colleagues husband "wined and dined you". I don't know if you see it like that or if you're tailoring things to suit what you think will appeal to me more. You're beautiful, intelligent and accomplished. You're well educated, bright and free. You had sex for money. You dated your colleagues husband. That's your past, and it's not that that bothers me. It's how you phrase it.

It's childish and I don't mean that in a nasty way. I mean it when I say, you are so young. And, at heart, you are very young. There's that 13 year old voice of yours, the one that comes from inside. I don't know what happened when you were 13, but it's left a terrible injury.

I hope you're healing well. I am. It's a beautiful, sunny day today.

Take care.

June 27, 2011

[FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]You didn’t fall out of love with me. You hated what I became but instead of try to work things out with me or talk things through, you fell for his chat and began to distance yourself from our relationship while you let your lust for him replace what we had.[/sIZE][/FONT]