bikinibeach Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 you know what your problem is? you have no sense of self whatsoever. that's why you have to look to other people: to fill the void. face it, you use people - - not because it makes you feel better. but because you're a person who is constantly looking for approval and acceptance from others and the kicker is, you're very good at getting it. you're extraordinarily intelligent; have a multitude of interests; are engaging; flirtatious; and highly intuitive. you can get pretty much any woman you want. that line you fed me telling me how you can't get women is pure BULL. you were just trying to come off as humble. it's just another role you play. you're anything but. you know how to walk that line between confident, swaggering wing man and appear vulnerable at the same time. it's a winning combination. but underneath the act -- you're hollow. there's nothing inside you. there could be if you would be willing to let people in - - if you werent so busy trying to impress and entertain them in an effort to get them to accept you. instead, you use people to get the acceptance and love that you crave but you refuse to give it in return - - in part because - - you feel as though you have nothing to give. so you use people (namely women), you drain them of whatever it is you're looking for at the moment: a shoulder to cry on, an ego boost, a bj - - whatever. then you quietly discard of them. not for good though. you are smart enough to keep them around for when you need them next time; checking in to make sure they are still available. it probably also helps ease your conscience; so you can feel like less of a dick for using these girls. even though that's exactly what you are doing. make no bones about it, as much as you try to sell yourself as being the opposite, you are no different from any of the other players out there. you're just more clever about it that's all. it's not impressive it's sad. i've honestly never seen someone so deprived of a sense of self that they would stoop to such a level. it's unbelievably pathetic. WOW. BINGO. Thanks for this Link to post Share on other sites
Sassygirl2 Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 It's been almost 3 months now since you broke my heart. Then 2 weeks ago I had my heart ripped out again by giving away our dog that I had grown close to. You said you would help me with her expenses and her care. You didn't even call to take her in the last 5 weeks. You "declined" my offers. Then when I find a good, loving home for her - you flip out and tell your family that I did this without talking to you first. Sure, I didn't call you that exact day but what the hell did you think I was doing the last 2 months? I asked over and over to have a "conversation" with you about the dog and you couldn't do it. You avoided me like I had some disease. I just don't get it. Now you family hates me. Thank you for that, you piece of ****! I can't believe I loved you like I did. What was I thinking? Was I so desperate for companionship that I just settled for a lump like you? You weren't there for me when I needed you. You were not affectionate or supportive when I was stressed out. Instead you ran the other way which made everything worse. I am so tired of grieving over this relationship. I want the pain to go away. I'm tired of being sad. I have read so many self help books - talked my friends' ears off - cried many tears - started talking to God - because of this relationship. Some good things - wonderful things, have come of this breakup. But the worst has been having to give away my dog. I know it hurt you too and that is why you are so angry with me. Then there is a part of me that wants you back - shocking I know. I even surprise myself. Why would I want a miserable ol louse like you? Probably because we were comfortable together. I know someday that I will find someone that is perfect for me but right now I am stuck here. I am using this time to better myself because I have found that I need some fixing. I guess I can be thankful for that. I hope someday you will talk to me again, even if it's 10 years from now. I would hate to think we never spoke again. I cared for you and your family so much. I hurts bad that they think negatively of me because I have done nothing to hurt them. I hope that you will someday tell them the truth and that you lied to make me look bad. That would be the right thing to do. Goodbye. Link to post Share on other sites
The_Good_Me Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 I've always said since day 1 that I'd never hate you for breaking up with me. I convinced myself that I could never bring myself to hate the person that meant the most to me in my life. Last night I came to the sad realisation that I do sincerely hate you for causing me this pain! Our relationship wasn't perfect but no relationships are perfect and you're going to find that out the hard way! I made some mistakes, you made some mistakes and none of them were ever bad enough to warrant a break up! We were so strong and could have gotten through anything if only you had talked to me. Instead, you have bottled things up over god knows how long and now 10 years of our lives are wasted! I have memories of you, fond memories that mean nothing without you by my side! Not only have you left me with the pain of losing you, you've left me with terrible fears. Fear of myself that I have unknown imperfections that I cannot work on because I don't know what they are! I fear that I'll never trust another partner ever again! If we could be that great together for so long and one night your sleeping with me, the next you're avoiding me and dumping me a few days later then how can I believe it won't happen again? I'll always be paranoid since you hid your true feelings so well! Why should I risk a relationship that can just end without even a warning? You owed me at least something for all the years I've given you, all the help I gave you through your tough times, all the love and romance I've given you throughout! How can you treat me of all people like this? You knew I would have respected your wishes to leave me and I have done but why not tell me the reasons? Surely it's better to give me the pain now so I can heal from it? Why leave me in a state where I could only mess up another relationship? Do you not want me to be happy? Has the decision to break up with me also just suddenly filled you with hatred towards me? How the hell can I mean absolutely nothing to you? When I eventually get over you, I'll find someone, I'll start to care for them and then what? abandonment issues? running a mile? Will I end up treating a person the way you have treated me? You've made me feel worthless, incapable of being loved, incapable of holding down a solid relationship! I'm not saying you should have stayed with me to prevent that, but you should have been cruel by telling me what went wrong to be kind! Thanks a lot putting me through this and for showing me how much of a coward you are and yet again how truly selfish you can be! (Yeah I know, pretty childish but thank god for places like this for us to vent! feels great to write this down and not have to send it!) Link to post Share on other sites
TheVSilent Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 This has been the hardest time of my entire life and I miss her so much and wish I could tell her over and over, but it is no use, so I will just tell her here. Link to post Share on other sites
california15 Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 really bro really? 2 weeks? 2 weeks and you've moved in together & 'shes the one' 2 weeks Link to post Share on other sites
bikinibeach Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 i want to write you an email telling you that i ****ing hate you but i dont trust any form of future contact with you whatsoever, you are an emotional void, a black hole of common sense and you and that dumb s**** trying to help each other is like the blind leading the blind. ....in the dark. you both are morons. her online dating profile looks like an ad for always stayfree with wings. the fact that YOU TWO are on an online dating site right now is enough to turn me off of those things for life. you want a connection with another person- YOU HAD ONE you ****tard. i KNOW that i am wasting time over this really, because you and that girl are hopeless cases, both of you. even if she were never involved, you are also critical, mean, jealous as well as a liar and a cheater and a loser who has to try to make other people feel jealous so obviously on purpose that its laughable. you know the magic you felt when we were together? i am able to recreate that at will! it has happened before you and will after as well. remember how when you first met me within hours you remarked that you hadn't felt this relaxed all week? guess what- not the first time i've heard that. or the last. i have special powers to make the man i am with feel amazing. or in your case, easily discarded like the trash that you are. you are also dumb enough to have likely believed that i was with another guy. no, i'm not selfish and blind like you. you are going to drag some other innocent into your drama and use them to get over you ex while they have to fight her tooth and nail and do your dirty work for you? do you realize that...you are NOT that good of a catch? your own mother tells you you have a fat ass. she was never nurturing towards you and you resent her control over you to this day. you are book smart enough to at least know what that equals. i am shocked that you havent gotten help yet. sometimes i catch myself wishing that i could just go back to you and accept the apology that you no doubt would have and to,, well, change you. ....into a man? how the hell would i do that? why would i want to? by the way, i love how you wrote your longest relationship was 2 years...lol sorry friend but living with someone who you fight with, don't have sex with, who keeps your balls in her back pocket, orders you around, makes your life miserable,, you cheat on her the whole time and tell your girl friends behind her back that you would move out but can't afford it......wash, rinse repeat for 2 years......ummmmm......that is not a 2 year long "relationship". that is a pathetic codependency that will be the blueprint for every relationship you have after it with a woman weak enough to put up with it. enjoy your miserable existence. your online flings will only leave you feeling more empty and realizing what you've lost. i can guarantee that you'll never hear from me again. Link to post Share on other sites
dicky_fish Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 So tomorrow is Sonisphere. Remember last year when it was held on your birthday? The weeks before you kept telling me how much you wanted me there, even though I told you I didn't have the money or time off from work to go. But because I loved you and wanted to make you happy I did loads of extra shifts to get the time off and the money to afford the ticket, travel, and food costs. I came on the second day because I wanted you to have fun with your friends by yourself before I got there. I even bought a bow and stuck it on my head because you said that's what you wanted. Did I get a thank you at all for going through all that just for you? No. You just moaned that I was "clingy" even though I gave you as much space as you wanted, and spent as much time socialising with your friends as I did with you! All I ever heard from you this last year is how much you seemed to resent me being there! In spite all of this I still love you. I don't want you to be getting over me by meeting up with some random guy in the tent village, considering that's how we met it would just hurt too much. I'm at Sonisphere too this weekend, please think of me and what we could still have. I love you xxxxx Link to post Share on other sites
Flowerzzz Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 Oh B, haha! I am almost completely over you. I swear it to be true! Almost a year since you broke up with me...I went to the fireworks this year with my gal pal, A. We had fun: we brought wine and smokes and lived it up! Good luck with yr new woman. I mean it. Oh, I made out with a very cute guy the other nite! He read to me and made me laugh. It was great. B, I will never forget our years together and maybe one day we can be pals. But not today. Link to post Share on other sites
DontWorryBHappy Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 Bravo.... bravo.... Do you want a standing ovation? Ha... I know you don't. You want to do the "right thing" and stay away from me while you "fix the issues". The thing is that tonight I'm feeling weaker than ever because I don't know if you CAN fix your issues. So when you said we needed to be apart until they are fixed.... it was almost like saying, "Hey so... it was nice knowing you because I may never see you again!". You live in the apartment building right across from me, that is, if you haven't moved yet. I've had terrible urges today to talk to you, to tell you that I still care just as much. I don't know anything about how you feel now. Have you moved on for real? Did you determine that I'm crazy and you don't want me in your life anymore? Are you smiling right now? Thinking about me? Hanging out with a friend? I still care so much but I am SO ANGRY WITH YOU for asking for me back and then telling me we have to stop that cold because it just can't work right now. Do you have ANY IDEA how much that affected me and is continuing to affect me???? I don't think you even have a clue..... I was ok before. Not amazing, but I was alright or doing better. But now i'm a MESS. I'm a ****ing mess, I'm crying right now. I miss you. Link to post Share on other sites
luvbug89 Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 I admire my ability to erase people from my life that have no place in it anymore. So, when I said "I never ever never want to hear from you again, delete my number and email" I meant it. Yeah we've had NC for the past few days since the fresh breakup, but I don't want you to come crawling back with your "I want to be your husband" text messages or your totally 'depressed' voicemail. I don't want to hear that again. I was a fool to believe it the first time, and take you back with openarms because I love with all my might. But, not this time maaan. You ****in blew it for you. Forever. I'm the type of person to not change my mind once it's set on a certain decision or choice. So what I said is said and I honestly don't take it back. What hurts the most? Let's see, the fact that you kept giving me false hope of living together -- oh but, then saying "I can never live with you, your the one that pisses me off the most! I couldn't live with you because you like to be active I just want to lay on my couch all day" (Btch, you smoked weed most the time I was over and was high over 90% of the time of our entire relationship, NO BUENO) --And then there's the "I dont need to tell you my personal problems, because they're personal it's my life. Your not my Dad or my Mom so you don't need to know anything" (REALLY? First off, I had no intentions of being 'nosey' I just wanted to be there for you and support you through your crises, Heck! I would even gone to church and prayed for you if **** was that bad for you! I wanted to be your support system and this is what you say to me?) --Oh, and the last couple of lines you yelled during our last conversation was the "There's nothing for me in [city] anymore, so I can't be here" OH, OKAY. Nothing's here for you anymore? Nothing's a valid reason for you to maybe pick up a second job and afford to live here? Nothing? Nothing at all? WAIT -- not even me? ... That explained everything I ever needed to hear right there and just cleared up the whole 'situation' we were in. Let me tell you something, when my Uncle first laid eyes on my Aunt, he was visiting from the islands, knew no one and was there on vacay. Fell in love at first sight with my Aunt, and stayed and lived in the city. Didn't go back to the islands after vacay, nope. Basically risked everything to be with her, didn't know anyone in the city, no job, no family -- but just met the love of his life. .. But yet you mean to tell me there's nothing of value for you to remain in this city. TOM FOOLERY. wishyouthebest, but do not contact me once you realize what you had buddy. Won't reply and won't read it. Bye! Link to post Share on other sites
69ways Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 you said we would grow old together and that the distance we had between us was not an issue. you said you have never been so sure in your life about anything till you met me. why did you say these things if you did not mean them, why Isabelle? why you misguided me and you got engaged to me. you did not decide over night to leave me, you have been processing it for a while. I loved you, you stupid cow, i wanted to have babies with you. I am not perfect and did mistakes and people who love give a second chance, how much did you love me to leave me so easy? you did not even appreciate me flying to you to just give you flowers. You f..... up a few times and i always forgiven you, was not i deserve the same? I have missed you soooo much , to hear you, see you ,cook with you. I lost myself Isa. People say you be ok,time will heal,maybe i dont want that,i dont want to stop loving you.you are my angel baby, my sun. I will always and always love you , for ever Isabelle. I know myself, i mean it baby. You dont care i know but i am sorry about not been mr perfect..... Link to post Share on other sites
Net Jedi Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 I was cleaning up my hard drive today and found some old music that I thought I had lost when my computer crashed. I started to listen to some of it when I came across this song. I dedicate it to you now. http://www.youtube.com/user/deecoyc#p/search/0/Ch8Ect0KHzg Link to post Share on other sites
Thieves Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 Dear O, It's been months since we've talked to each other, though if I could change that I'd be talking to you right now. But no, scratch that, because then I would become just a nuisance to you again, wouldn't I? It's strange. On some days I wish you were here, and on other days I'm perfectly fine. Maybe that proves that I'm moving on more and more each day. On the days that I long for you, I wish I could tell you that I miss you so much, so much it hurts. I wish I could tell you that I love you. But would you even care? I doubt it. It didn't seem like you cared one bit back when you were with your ex, rubbing it in my face that you found someone new to love. How classy of you. Even when I was supportive of your relationship and said good things about you, you ignored it and STILL rubbed it in. How did you not think that would hurt me? And don't even act like you didn't know you were doing it. You KNEW I was hurt, you KNEW I was jealous as hell and you did it anyway. WHY? Because you wanted to get revenge on me for not recognizing that I liked you in the beginning? I was young, I'd never been in a relationship before, and though that's no real excuse I apologized to you a THOUSAND times for hurting you and tried to make it up to you by BEING there for you through thick and thin. Even when your ex ended up CHEATING on you, I was there for you! I never rubbed it in your face, did I? But how do you thank me? You do the same thing with your new girlfriend now. Going on and on at first about how much you miss me more than anything, saying you 'love me', and then switching it up the next time and bragging about your girlfriend. That really ****ing hurt. Even when I try to be happy for you, I get the sand kicked back in my face. No doubt about it, you are the King of Mixed Signals. And that's why I had to break away from you, because 90% of the time I think of you it's in sadness, anger, or pain. I never know where I stand with you now. What kind of way is that for a person to live? Link to post Share on other sites
Yona88 Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 Dear Justin I just want you to know your mom helped me think things through and realize things. I know what I did. I know why I drove you crazy. I know what issues with myself I need to fix and SHOULD have fixed long before we ever got together. I know that I have anger issues where I bottle things up and blow up in your face like I did. Over stupid little things. You had every right to be mad. I treated you horribly and I sabotaged a 2 year relationship with a good guy who treated me well. You were a great boyfriend to me and you were there for me thick and thin. If I had just told you when something is wrong, when it is wrong, instead of holding it in for all I know we would have never fought the way we did. These are all my issues that need to be dealt with. Looking back on how I acted makes me so angry with myself. I am looking around at therapists in Pocatello I can go to once I finally get paid. I have an anger problem and it ruined our relationship. I just wanted to say all this because I REALLY had to think about what I've been doing to you. And if I could redo the past, I would in a heartbeat. I wish you the best in Washington and I hope someday you will forgive me. I really miss you. -Babygrr. Link to post Share on other sites
Ally-65 Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 Oh god, I just want to hate you. I didn't like you. But I loved you so. Why did you do this? You have no idea what you have done to me. You don't care. If only you knew... You are: cold, selfish, dominating, controlling, totally un-feeling. Some day, I will be able to see you and feel nothing. I can't wait for that day. I'll show you that I am better than you will ever be. And better than anyone you meet in the future. F... You. Link to post Share on other sites
Ally-65 Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 I check my emails every day, as you do too. Do you always wonder whether there is one from me? I do. I always wonder if maybe you have decided to give in to your pride and write to me. But then I think to myself, you've never done it before so why would you do it now. I wonder if you miss me at all, I wonder if you think what how it could have been given the chance. Maybe I'm kidding myself.... there were many things I didn't like about you. Having said that, why the hell did I feel that I loved you so much. I want so much to talk about motorbikes with you. I love driving it. I can so relate to you using it as "therapy". Do you know that my mum has always been so against them, but has even offered to lend me the money to buy one. I cant wait. But when I pictured us riding together... it all goes a little faded. Still.... I'll join a bike club... the world is then my oyster!! I'll show you that I'm better than anyone you have or will ever meet. I would love to say that I write this with a "healed heart".... I almost can! Link to post Share on other sites
Ally-65 Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 It's your birthday today. So Happy Birthday. I hope you spend it alone and lonely. I know what you will be doing. Just that. But to you, it's just another day. You have no sentimental values or sensitivity whatsoever. Link to post Share on other sites
shook187 Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 feels like your about to come and **** my world again!@ Link to post Share on other sites
Ally-65 Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 I didn't acknowledge your birthday today. You would have been expecting that. I'm glad that I didn't. Not to say I haven't been thinking of you. Now you know that I can't/won't ever be your friend. Link to post Share on other sites
amethyste Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 Some day, I will be able to see you and feel nothing. I can't wait for that day. Me too! D, Last night I had a dream about you. I don't like dreaming about you because in my dreams everything's perfect between us, but then I wake up and realize that the reality is entirely different. Anyway, in my dream you sent me a message telling me "I miss you, kitten." - I was so happy... but I was also wondering if it's a good idea to break NC or not, hah That's all I remember. After I woke up this morning, I kept thinking that 2 days before I went for NC, you were telling me that we're close & that you care about me. Yeah... so "close", and you "care" soooo much about me that you let me go. I assume your ego is much more important, or that everything was a lie... Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
londonbloke Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 ''Hey hun, hope you're okay. Call me before I close my doors completely. You and I both know the score, things can be better if you just take a chance. Me." Link to post Share on other sites
seventhcircle Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 i'm having a good day today. I really wish I knew why you called me 3 times last night. Did you want a lift? Did you want to abuse me? Why don't you reply to messages or answer your phone. you were my best friend and you've left me on my own. maybe i'm not having a good day. you deserve to hurt for putting me through this. you said you'd be there to make this the easiest it could possibly be for me. you're not doing that was that you that called me from blocked number tonight? are you even upset? at some point it will click for me and i'll realise that someone who doesn't want me isn't worth my time or energy. and you're not. my head believes it but my heart doesn't because I thought we had a real connection. Guess not. I wish I'd never met you. I wish I was still the independent person I was. Or I wish I waited for someone amazing, rather than the first guy I got along with. You're my biggest regret. I hope that you're the one chasing after me one day. Link to post Share on other sites
Ally-65 Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 I ignored you today when you said hello in your too friendly way. You are nothing. I have only anger left now. You lied to me over and over and I didn't see it. You don't deserve anyone loving you. We are all pebbles on the beach that you pick up as you go through life and throw them away when you dont want it anymore. You deserve to be alone and I truly believe you will be. You are despicable. Link to post Share on other sites
dicky_fish Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 What a mistake Sonisphere was! I saw you 3 times and it killed me each time. And being surrounded by so many memories was just too much. God, I love you so much and I just want you back. The real you. Not this person you've become. Please call me. I love you Fiona! xxxx :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
RodG Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 I have no idea how this could've been so easy for you. You made up your mind one day and that was it. I guess I will never really know what made you change your mind so fast; friends, family, your change of scenery...who knows. But you always said you loved me. Why'd you do that? Why didn't you explain your feelings when we were physically together? Why'd you have to drop me from up so high over text? I know you pretty well, I think. I know you didn't mean to be so harsh and you actually did care about the pain you caused me. I pushed too hard after you just wanted out. I know I should've been stronger and my inability to do so was probably a reason you left. Deep down I know we probably both needed this, but one day I hope we can be on better terms. I need to change myself and I'm doing that. I was naive for believing you when you talked about our future. You're too young. I still miss you Ally. I still love you, not like before, but I will always love you this way. I always loved you for who you are, unconditionally. I would never have pushed you to do something you didn't want to do. I was willing to wait for things to change. I guess they weren't going to change because you didn't feel the same. I don't really know. September 6 is what would have been our Anniversary. I'm just trying to make it through the summer. I know you're happier now. I wish I knew what you were doing or where you worked. Good luck with everything, I hope I can see you in person again someday. Link to post Share on other sites
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