Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[jyoun]

Dear B,

It's only been two weeks since our 4 year relationship ended and I can only imagine the pain you are currently suffering. I wish I could take that pain away, and experience for myself. I am terribly sorry for the way things turned out between us, it was NEVER my intention to let you down.

 

You say I led you on, making you believe you were "the one"... I truly wanted you to be the one for me, to live with, to marry and have kids with. To grow old together. I wanted you to be the one, it would've made so much sense because of all the similarities we shared and how great we got along... but my heart kept telling me something wasn't quite right. I truly believed if I was patient with myself my heart might change, or come to a realization, but it didn't, not fast enough anyways.

 

You will always be held in a special place in my heart. I care about your well-being and have always wished only the best for you. Please know how much I loved you and don't ever regret our time together. Please don't question your own worth, you are special, wonderful, beautiful, and the kindest more caring soul I've ever known or imagined. You deserve someone who will love you totally, in ways I couldn't manage.

 

I feel sick that I've lost you and won't get the privilege of your presence and warmth, but us ending is really for the best. I have not, nor do I plan on, seeing anyone else anytime soon. Please don't think I'm out and about with some other girl already. I'm working on myself, trying to sort out my issues, etc... I hope you are doing the same and recover from this a stronger and more confident person.

 

I hope you don't think my no contact with these past couple weeks is proof that I don't care about you. You needed space and time from me re-opening this horrible wound I've created within you. I'm not contacting you because I want you to recover in a more healthy manner. Please understand this. Please known how much I care about you.

-B

[Almond_Joy]

I don't count the days EVERY day now....but I think about how long it's been since I've seen you. 10 months - the same amount of time that we were together.

 

It was really sunny and warm today. Reminded me of all those weekends we spent sunbathing at the beach. You're like a daydream now - something I fantasize about, and let my imagination run wild over, but that I am well aware has no bearing or foothold in reality. I think if I never act on my daydreams then it's ok. Only daydreams have never hurt before. daydreams don't make me sad when they're gone. And I guess that makes the love I feel a fantasy too. Real love is reciprocal, and there's no reciprocity here.

 

I told you I loved you, and that hasn't changed. I don't think it ever will. I'm resigning myself to accept it as something I have no control over, like a law of gravity or something. If it can or is suppossed to change, I don't know how to do it. And I'm not going to waste more energy trying to. I love you. I miss you. And life just keeps on going.

[solobeary]

Still studying, still miss you. I hate watching shoes about love (which limits my movie/book/tv show options a whole lot!) because it makes me think of what we had. I'd love a hug, a late-night cafe date, a chat. I miss you so much. Why did you have to **** everything up? Grr. xxxx

[dicky_fish]

Please have another Harrogate moment! I miss you so much, and my reason for getting up on a morning has gone. You're the air to me.

 

You just don't understand how much I used to live for the days when I'd see you.

[LuluinAZ]

hey,

 

now that we have had our closure after a year, i find i am re-missing and re-longing for you after seeing you for just that little bit. in my life, i have only had feelings like that for you and one other, it's ridiculous to have that spark and not be able to enjoy it.

 

now i'm confused and stuck and re-wallowing. i hope this doesn't mean i have to repeat this last year of healing and asking God why?

 

your hands are beautiful, strong and masculine. i can't forget it, i was moving on but now? i'm stuck again.

[TLCbear]

Gee haven't posted here in a long while, but here I am again. Thank you so much for giving me that ego boost of contacting me. At least I know you have been hurting (like I am) and thinking of me. It took awhile...3 weeks for you to contact me, but you did. I am still waiting on an apology from you for what you have put me through. Not sure what the hell you want from me, but friendship is a no no...told you that a long time ago.

 

I must admit, I still love you and miss you...and want to be with you, but I know you are not going to change. We tried for a second chance and it didn't work...all because of you. Why do you have to be so stupid??? To not realize that you had the best woman in your life.

 

Guess I showed you huh? Warned you before that if I leave one day, I will leave the same way I came in...quietly. I guess you got so cocky that you thought I would never leave huh? Thought I was this weak woman...well, fooled you didn't I. After your hmmm....lets see...15th call...why are you still leaving messages saying to call you...when you know I'm not going to call. You are so stupid, but yet, think you are so smart. Wanna know what you REALLY are.... SAD....damn SAD.

 

LMAO...keep making my day....

[SimonSerenade]

Been such a long time we've been broken up now, hard to believe I've forgotten so many little things, how you smelt, how you felt when you were so close to me in my arms, how we felt in the very beginning, how much we meant to eachother in those moments, I geuss I may never know how you felt back then, you never really gave me a goodbye speech, I'd of given anything to have heard you cry for me like I did for you, I'm not sure if anything will ever feel as real as how it felt with you, I geuss me and you were one of a kind in our own little way, a part of me will always cherish what we had beyond all else I possibly ever will have, I hope it's the same for you... although you'd never show it, I love how I still get these little moments of sadness every now n then, lets me know that what we had was real and was once worth something.. if not everything, I just want you to know that there's still not a day on earth that goes back where I don't think of you, I still miss you every now and then but I can live with that.

[Viv]

I just had one of those moments, where I thought of something fun we had done, and forgot for a second where we are now. I'm still bewildered about what has happened. I just can't reconcile the man you are now with the one I thought I knew. I feel as though I imagined it all. You must have been keeping your cruel side hidden. I know you have one now, because I remember your stories about your exes, and can see what really happened with them. I'm scared of you, and I miss the man I thought you were so much. I'm sure you did this because you found someone else. It makes me feel ill writing it, but I know it's probably true. You broke my heart and you didn't deserve my love.

[jormungand]

posting my goodbye letter to her here, because if i were to give it to her it would just fall on deaf ears.

 

 

****,

 

you broke my heart for the last ****ing time. your lies about 'not being able to be in a relationship' right now are total bull**** because i know you're back with ***. don't even deny it. all the times you told me that i was perfect, and that you couldnt imagine life without me are complete bull**** - plain and simple. you never fully cared about me the way i cared about you in our 'relationship'. i always gave 100% of myself to you, but you never were able to give the same to me. you always told me you loved me unconditionally and now i wonder if you meant any of that at all. both of us know how ****ty you were treated in your previous relationship, and i was proud of you for being respectful of yourself enough to get out of it. i know now in the back of my mind, that you always second-guessed us. i guess i was just blinded by everything to really see that you weren't 100% commited, you definitely put on a really good front. i ignored it every time you previously said you were having second thoughts because your actions proved differently. i'm such a ****ing moron for believing all of your bull****. i thought you were legit interested in me, and loved me. i know it seems stupid to you, but those emotions are really important to me. you've absolutely ****ed me up forever, and i'll never trust anyone again out of fear that this will happen again. you knew about my issues about bailing for whatever reason, and ignored it. my feelings never really mattered to you i'm sure, and dumping my via ignoring me for the weekend and then an email is beyond disrespectful of what we had.

 

i sincerely hope your decision to throw what we had away makes you happy. you'll never find anyone who loved you deeper and unconditionally like i did.

[Viv]

So I finally finished, it's bitter sweet because id like to celebrate with you x

[BrettLost]

Dear ex,

 

What the **** is wrong with you?

Why hang with OM if he ***ked u over?

Why let me text you and have him read and reply to it?

Who the ***k stays friends with people who betray u, you (and me) apparently?

Why expose OUR children to this man, for him to only fade into friendship?

Why make out your on Jersey ***kin shore when u cant pay bills?

Why cant your 'friends' smell the BS like I can?

Why do I still care enough about you to help you out when u ask?

Why am i persistant in trying to make u become someone u clearly arent, the wife i originally married?

Why do you all choose to ignore the real world, and instead hide behind an active social life with people who arent there when it really counts?

Why want to be friends with me, only to become annoyed at my attempts to conversate, or re-establish a connection?

Why is my pain ignored, my sadness dismissed, my inability to 'move on' possibly ridiculed?

Why am I the nice guy, i get ***k all but dissappointment?

Where did you think this was all gonna end up when you pulled the trigger?

 

I'm sure i could go on...

***k, what a vent.

[Buttercup84]

I miss you so much , wondering if you are with someone now in our house.Are you having a good weekend with her ? taking her to the little forrest across the road ?

 

I really felt how much you hated being with me in the end.It hurts so much , like being with me was a chore.

 

I am sure you will be happier with someone else and not ignore her like you ignored me .

 

Why can't I move on ? you betrayed me so much by keeping that dating profile.

[allie_lgh]

you're right. I messed up. I beyond messed up. I ****ed up everything in every which direction possible.

 

but youre not ****ing perfect.

 

you say I "shoved you off a cliff and then called you weak for falling". That this is all my fault and I've left you no other choice. OTHER PEOPLE DON'T DECIDE YOUR CHOICES FOR YOU! YOU make your own options and choices. I know that what has happened between us makes it HARDER for you to choose US but that doesn't make me the killer of love.

 

You know what needed to happen, and what could still save us. Put down the ****ing bottle and let's finally do this the right way. Too late, too bad...drunk again all by yourself.

 

**** YOU FOR YOUR BULL**** REASONING!

 

you are just as destructive as I was, only your actions are intentional and mine were drunken and provocked. Not excusable either way, but really...go **** yourself.

 

 

 

Now for the truth. I miss you. I'm not angry at you. I'd give anything in the world to be angry at you. I'd give anything in the world to have you be in this with me instead of against me. I'd do anything, but you don't care.

 

God this is going to ****ing kill me

[karmaqueen]

I give up. You haven't changed. I gave you so many chances. The good thing is now we are not together, your lies cannot hurt me anymore. No more disappointment now that I've made it so you can't find me.

Yes, I'm curious to see what you make of your life, whether you stop lying, what treatment you get for it, whether she takes you back? I wanted you to change, wanted you to be true, but after so many chances I realise you won't ever.

[Wildabeest]

I thought to myself today. "I wish I never met you". You know what? I take that back. Since Ive met you I've never loved so much, hurt so much, laughed so much, cried so much and felt so much than I've ever had in my whole life. Thank you!

[Buttercup84]

I emailed you on Friday ( stupid ) about me changing my address and you haven't repiled. Either you are ignoring me or you are spending time with a girl.Maybe your girlfriend.

 

Can you really meet someone that special so fast ? It has been four months. I guess you have been over me for a long time.

 

I spoke to my mum about you today again and she thinks you treated me badly. But I still love you so much and wish I could be with you.Just feel you again...

[jormungand]

Sunday morning.

 

This is usually when we'd go get coffee together, sit somewhere beautiful and talk for hours about life and how happy we were with eachother. you'd smile at me and say you loved me so much.

 

Now you're back with your ex, and who knows what you're doing. You're probably sleeping off a hangover and being treated to really expensive gifts and meals to make up for all the chaos over the last few months. I hope you're happy. I'm not.

[DarianFrey]

Sunday evening.

 

We'd sit on your big sofa, you in my arms and steam rising from our tea cups, enjoying the last day before school. We'd turn on the TV, act interested in the movie for about 15 minutes before giving each other "that" look, say good night to your parents and go up to your room and make love for hours.

 

I miss you so much, I'm so sorry for not listening to you while I still had the chance. I understand why you couldn't take it anymore and broke it off, had I been in your shoes I'd probably done the same... I hope you miss me and falling asleep with my arms around you.

 

I love you but I guess I have to let you go.

 

(Thank God for this thread, 9 days of NC.)

[dicky_fish]

I hate this! I used to love the weekends with you, lazily watching telly after cooking a nice meal together. I'm really not looking forward to the next few months because it was always my favourite time of year, and it was always made much better with you.

 

I love you and I miss you so much that I'm starting to wish I'd never met you, because now I wouldn't be in this much pain having known what I've lost.

 

I really do love you my princess xxxxxx

[Desensitized]

I hate that I was such a fool. Fooled by something I thought I always wanted. I remember I wanted you long after I even knew you (creepy, I know). I remember you always hanging out in the hallways with some of your "friends" even though those people never cared about you the way I cared about you; they always talked **** about you behind your back. I didn't know that then, but I know it now. I remember when I always wanted to sit next to you in sociology class, you had the most beautiful smile and you made me look forward to class every day. You didn't know this, but I always hated when sociology ended and, I had to leave your side.

 

You just considered me a friend then, but I had such a huge crush on you. I remember that I asked you to prom and you told me you weren't sure who you were going to go with - I'll never forget how hurt I was. I would've never have asked you to prom if you didn't lead me on by sucking my d*** and doing other things with me. I remember when I found out that you were going to prom with your new boyfriend, it shattered me. I didn't want to be your friend anymore. I couldn't believe that you would lead me on like that. I've never felt so emotionally shattered. I remember when this guy used to treat you like **** and you would come crying to me.

 

I ****ing hate you so much. But at the same time, I should hate myself even more for allowing myself to become so blinded by your charm. You cheated on your boyfriend with me and funny thing is, he doesn't even know still! We started dating a couple of days after senior year in high school ended; you became my girlfriend a little before graduation day. That summer was probably the best summer ever, but also, the worst.

 

I can't help but say that it was my fault for falling so head over heels for you, but I couldn't help it. I guess I was infatuated with you, and I guess I also thought that you were someone different. I guess it hurt so much because you weren't the person I made you out to be. Rough lesson learned. As months passed, things became really toxic and yet I still proposed to you knowing that I would never be able to get over your sexual history. I guess it wasn't just your sexual history that drove me crazy, but also the fact that you kept this from me and never came clean to me about it.

 

You lied to me, and you lied about so many other things. Yeah the doctors may say that you have Borderline Personality Disorder, but still, I didn't deserve to be hurt like I was. I guess the worst feeling of all is not knowing whether our relationship was actually real or not. It feels as if I never really knew you and that really pisses me off! You were my fiancee, you were supposed to tell me everything, but you didn't.

 

Should I hate you? I don't know. I don't even know anymore. You're like the devil, I ****ing don't know who to hate. Should I not be upset with you because you have BPD, or is BPD just a bundle of **** and is just used as an excuse for people that want to play the victim and not take responsibility for their actions?

 

Sigh...

I'll never ****ing know! I miss you, Nay, you were my baby. I remember sleeping with you in my arms and feeling so happy. But at the same time, I also remember all those sleepless nights thinking about your sexual history; the fact that I couldn't trust you - you lied to me. I'll never forget when you slept over at that guys' house either; he wanted to have sex with you! Worst part of it all is that you never said no, you just told him you had a boyfriend! What the ****! How can someone so beautiful be so ugly on the inside? Why are you so selfish? Why do you treat your parents like ****? Why are you the way you are? Why can't you just be genuinely nice!?!

 

I'm honestly traumatized, and the worst part of it all is, no one knows that I am. No one knows that I miss you constantly. I'm so weak, and the only person that knows this is me.

[lost_one_01]

Been awhile since I have posted or even lurked here...thought I was doing alright. But last 2 days I feel like a huge ass wave hit me and knocked me down again.

 

Jayne I will never understand you. Last spring..like always you started your head games..and I played them..no one to blame on this but me. Why did you have to do that??? Do you enjoy it..have that many issues or what? Things were going well then bam..you got all distant and pushed me away for the up-teen time. Of course we end up in a huge fight. Then you had nerve to text me saying if I ever contacted you again you would call the authorities..lol..would have been good seeing we live 600 miles away from each other. I left it at that..told you before you said that it would be best if you deleted my numbers and just forgot me. Well fast forward a few months later you call me..I mean holy ****..do you know emotionally and mentally abusive that is??? Why I sent you email saying just leave me alone now..you have no idea what you put me through. You called me because of storms coming thro here..why do you pretend that you care..you never did..I was naive to believe otherwise. I was not all innocent but I never ever messed with your heart or your mind the 4 years we were together. But you had it in you to lie...cheat..call me names etc.

 

You said you went to seek help...wonder how much you twisted stories to make it look like you were innocent victim...you always had that down so well. Can imagine stories you told about me and how I was at fault for everything.

 

I don't hate that I loved you...I hate that I wasted all of it on you when you did not want it. I don't think I will be ever capable of loving some one as much as I did you or putting 110% into it. I am afraid I will never recover fully from this..you did a number on me. I am not dating..even that scares me..of caring for someone and then finding out it was all a charade..them not feeling the same even though they claim they did. I am so jaded..is love even real?? Most of all I hate that you come into my head..please stop..I am sad and even weak to say I miss you so much and I still am in love with you..how ****ed up does that make me??

[SimonSerenade]

I don't know why you keep creeping into my mind right now, I get to know some great people and right before I get to know more I give them the cold shoulder because nobody has given me that feeling you once gave me and a part of me will always miss the idea of me n you being a family.

 

Even though I'm over it for the most part, there's still a part that will always crop up every now then, I geuss I never really got them parting words I longed for from your lips, a sense of meaning on your part for the love and the life we shared, back in those days I thought you were the one girl who would always stand by me, I'd never in a million years think I'd one day be writing something like this.

 

I just want to move on properly and fall in love with someone, I geuss I've still got a ways to go before it will ever feel right with somebody else, I think maybe what's stopping me is that when I do finally get with somebody else then that's it for me n you, over forever and ever with no chance of ever going back, geuss I'm just going to have to get used to it.

 

I do miss you... I'd never tell you that but I do, I hope your doing well :>

[fistandantulus]

You know what, I am sad. But not because you dumped me the second time; I knew it from the start but I don't give up like you do. Also not because you didn't try it all, even if you promised so; I knew you have neither the courage nor the strength to try harder. Not because you dumped me with an email; I knew you don't have the guts to look into my eyes and say you don't love me after all I've done for you. Not because the emotional chaos you pushed me into after I pulled you out of the same impasse; I know I can cope with this but you can't. I am sad, because I regret wasting my precious 3 years trying to build something good and memorable with you. You never deserve to be happy, because you've never tried to be so. I regret loving you so much while you had no idea about what love is and never appreciated what I had for you. I now realize that it was all for nothing. But you know what, if it doesn't kill you then it will make you stronger. I am getting back what is mine: my heart. I wish you luck in finding another one to feed your hungry ego. You'll need it because you don't have one. Last, you said that you couldn't understand why I refuse to be friends. I tell you why: Why would I try to be friends after you didn't try to be something better? I can't hate you, because I pity you.

[karmaqueen]

I still want to know why you lived a lie. Have you learned from it? Will you carry on doing the same with someone else? Will I ever let go of this hurt and anger you caused? I want to. I want to forget all about you but its difficult.

[brazilian]

You are a selfish ****

I am moving on and i DO NOT GIVE A RAT'S if you care and are praying that I find someone to make me happy

I do not need someone to make me happy I am healthy, successful, caring and I can keep my promises, I am sure I have a wonderful future ahead