BigDumbFoot Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 Just an update. I know it's been quite a while since we've spoken. I guess this is for the best.. I don't know. I mean i still feel like **** because of everythign that happened, but i guess I would feel much worse if I were still being dragged along by you. So anyway.. I just wanted to let you know that I'm not intersted in being friends. I know that I told you a while back that I might consider it, but I've changed my mind. YOu were just way too cold to me. I didn't deserve to be treated the way you treated me.. The thing is is, despite this, I still have this notion in the back of my mind that you and me could work out. That we could be together again. And at this point that notion just sickens me. Why would I want to be with someone who was so absolutely callus and ****ty towards me. When I was around you I felt invisible. It was so bad that you even texted your new ****ing boyfriend in front of me. Really?? I mean, are you so stupid and short sighted that you couldn't see me right in front of you, suffering because you were chosing to talk to him and not me.. You ignored me. You completely ignored me as if the previous 6 and a half years never happened. What is wrong with you?? I mean seriously, what kind of person can just do that to another? I know that I wasn't always great, but Jesus Christ I would never ever have treated you the way you treated me. And especially considering everything that happened the year before, with the break and the reconnecting.. How could you have done that to me?? Now when I look back on that year I just see someone who was dragging someone else along because they were too insecure to be by themselves.. And being able to treat someone like that after over 6 years together really makes me question your sanity. At the very least your mental maturity.. I just can't believe that ****.. As you can tell I'm still very bewildered by that. As would anyone else in my situation. And what REALLY gets me is that you tried to justify your actions. You said that because of my anxiety disorder it would feel much worse than it really was. As if you were telling me that whatever feelings I would have about the breakup were just going to be exaggerated. Like some kind of preemptive gambit on your part so you could get off without any kind of guilt. THen you told me you would probably regret your decision several months down the line, but you wanted me to forget about you anyway. This was the worst part. I think I might understand what happened to you at this time. I think you were probably falling in love with that other guy.. and all of the sudden you just couldn't feel anything for me anymore. And this really begs the question.. were you ever really in love with me? Or did you just keep me around because you had ****ty self esteem and didn't think you could be with anyone better? If this is the case, then all I have to say to you is "**** you, I hope you're real ****ing happy with this new guy, because it's going to fall apart just like it did with me. Then you're going to be up ****'s creek." And the worst part about all of this is, that I keep blaming myself for what happened! What a joke! I keep blaming myself for your neglecting me, for how you treated me like ****. I keep thinking to myself that I must have somehow deserved it if it happened the way it did. But I didn't. I didn't ****ing deserve to be treated like yesterday's news the way I was. I'm a ****ing man. I'm not a piece of garbage despite the way you treated me. I'm still recovering from this, and it's taking me a long ****ing time. I don't know if I'll ever really be able to trust another person again because of you. I know that I had problems before.. but now those same problems are even more rampant. They've come rushing back to haunt me even more. You know that I've had issues with rejection from my childhood.. Then you go and do the same ol' **** that my parents did to me.. Which really says a lot about me and my ability to chose a partner. I'm ranting I know, but this needs to be expressed. I can't sleep tonight because this **** is just running through my mind at a million miles an hour. I need to say this stuff.. even if you aren't really going to hear it. It needs to be said.. Anyway, I've really been questioning the way we got together.. We were both fresh into college.. You had dated a couple of guys.. I had never dated anyone.. I guess I was that way.. A shy guy, never asked anyone out, but had plenty of girls showing interest in me. I met you, you fulfilled some kind of need in me, so I clung on for dear life.. and for several years! It's not like we were only together for a couple of years.. We were together for almost 7 years. I work with kids who haven't even been around as long as our relationship lasted. That's surreal to me.. I'm 26. We were together since we were 19.. that's about 1/4 of my life with another person. You became a habit, a fixture in my life.. I guess you didn't see it that way though. Once you were done with me, you were done.. No more feelings.. no turning back.. not even a real attempt at trying to fix things.. Just done. Throw me to the curb along with yesterday's garbage, done.. So yeah. That's what I wanted to say. Enjoy your life, enjoy your new guy while it lasts, because you will be alone again. And you will deserve the heartbreak that ensues. Sorry that I can't be the great guy I should be and just forgive you and move on.. Let's be real here, have I ever been the rational type? Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 I'm so glad I did not go to your facebook page when I had the urge to. Why would I go, so I can get caught up in your life and you can psychologically abuse me again? Or should I go so you can lie to me constantly and use me again? Or should I go so you can cheat on me again? You are pathetic. She is pathetic. She is selfish and so are you. She is disrepectful and so are you. She has an impulse control problem and so do you...big time! Good luck with your marriage to her and all the years of Hell it will bring. By the way, if she's the woman you've dreamed of your whole life, why do you keep contacting me? Focus on her and leave me alone. Obviously she's not enough for you, but that's your problem. *$#% off! Link to post Share on other sites
dicky_fish Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 I just made chicken fried rice, like the way you used to make it for me. It wasn't as good as you could do it though. I really miss you. Just come back home xxx Link to post Share on other sites
perfectlyflawed459 Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 I just made chicken fried rice, like the way you used to make it for me. It wasn't as good as you could do it though. I really miss you. Just come back home xxx Aww I made Snickerdoodles the other day and I use to make those for my ex all the time because those were his favorite. Little reminders are a pain, aren't they? But on the bright side, they remind us of good memories and slowly cause the painful ones to die away. Stay strong. Link to post Share on other sites
dicky_fish Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 Aww I made Snickerdoodles the other day and I use to make those for my ex all the time because those were his favorite. Little reminders are a pain, aren't they? But on the bright side, they remind us of good memories and slowly cause the painful ones to die away. Stay strong. It really sucks. I'm a pretty good cook, and I used to love cooking for her, but I could never do chicken fried rice like she could. Isn't it funny the things we miss the most? Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Buttercup84 Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 Hey J Well it's been almost 8 months now and I'm sure I'm never in your mind . I'm going through a roller coaster of emotions . Blaming myself for it all . How could you treat me like that ? I loved you so much and you knew that , turning cold and ignoring me . Acting all nice after the breakup , yet calling me names during our relationship and ignoring me . Yes I hurt you a lot with the abortion , but im hurting too . A lot . I at least know and admitted when I went wrong . Did you ? And your friend Andrew egging you on to dump me . He is 40 , alone and single for 10 years . You want to end up like that ? I've read the way you two talk about women . You might get married before me but never be happy as you see flaws all the time , no ones ever good enough . At least I'm improving myself and am willing to work on the hard times . Relationships are hard , you go through **** because life throws crap at you . That's life , you don't just ditch someone when things get hard. Link to post Share on other sites
perfectlyflawed459 Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 It really sucks. I'm a pretty good cook, and I used to love cooking for her, but I could never do chicken fried rice like she could. Isn't it funny the things we miss the most? Thanks Yea it seems like the small things we didn't really acknowledge or took for granted are what we end up missing the most. Although I am at a point where when I encounter these reminders, yes it does kinda hit me, but it mostly puts a smile on my face because they were such happy times. Link to post Share on other sites
OnyxSnowfall Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 (edited) It was the only way I could find the strength to let you go: to cause a rift between us so large that I cannot forgive myself over... one that I would never accept your forgiveness over, were it even possible. Because you still want some part of me in your life and I knew I would always succumb to that. Because I knew I was hopelessly devoted to you... regardless of how dire our situation was and is. But now, I could not... within either a right or unsound mind, face you now nor allow you back inside of me. What remains of my integrity and of my interpersonal dreams cannot allow it, but more than that, they are incapable of allowing it. There is enormous panic and hurt within me nonetheless. The lingering woes of what I've done to my own heart. The cries, the shrilling screams and the constant nagging question it asks...... "Why?" CAN IT NOT HEAR ME? WE CANNOT TAKE THIS DEVOTION; WE WILL DIE REGARDLESS. This heart certainly belongs to you... though that nonsense must end. I handed the dismembered organ through a crowd of hollow admirers and gave some of my body to the one who struggled the hardest to have his way with me he reminds me of you --- perhaps that is also why I, chose him to betray my heart with still it screamed, it mourned, it grieves how could I? except that you did not want me and that your heart, in the palms of others, was content and could thrive but mine, mine is dying d y i n g never to love again and I am dying along with it..................... but at least, at least this knows it has to close. Edited January 5, 2012 by OnyxSnowfall Link to post Share on other sites
kimchi84 Posted January 6, 2012 Share Posted January 6, 2012 Why is it that you decide to break up with me for no clear reason.. I'm dying over here for the past 5months.. Finally was able to leave u alone n go NC for 3.5 weeks.After encountering you like once every so often since... Doing fine.. When u know I'm in NYC from who knows where.. Send me a text "hope you're staying warm...kris I miss you! it's been forever my friend..." I know you didn't want to be in a relationship with me.. But stay friends.. But c'mon... Why r u talking to me so strangely! I'm throwing my hands in the air saying, WTF? Really you had to throw in "my friend" damn rub it in my face nemore.. K I'm doe for now.. Link to post Share on other sites
TheJiltedGeneration Posted January 6, 2012 Share Posted January 6, 2012 (edited) So I did a slight stupid thing this week and wanted to see how my ex was doing with her deviant art page (I don’t know why, well I know why... I can’t lie.. ) and I saw her response to a journal entry on the efficacy of art with darker themes. The person posting the journal in question, was describing how he just didnt get dark art or did not like it, from seeing some pieces on display on a gallery, ( thought to be fair from what he described they were pretty abysmal, I.E dead animals viscera ,ect ) While most of what she said did have merit, I think she didn’t quite see the larger scope of what was the problem with art galleries like this one. I was thinking of responding but then again that indirect (though still contact) with her is a no no, so instead I wanted to post my sort of theoretical response to her post here (the stupidity of which should be crystalline for everyone but I’ll tell you why in a sec). in this post she, NEARLY does not miss a beat in her criticism of why certain types of art are bad, however there is some slight generalisations in what she says that I felt I really needed a response. I guess it’s kind of silly when you look at why I bother catering to your feelings like this. Maybe I am lying to myself and giving her more adulation to give myself a excuse to backslide. But I guess when looking at her response I saw just how different our personal ethos’ are. , I donno I guess I feel it’s just a way of clarify to myself how “different” I really am from my ex, and how well it just won’t work between us. I still love how she’s so dedicated to her art, her intelligence even thought she not apt in certain situations this does not put a Hamper on her creative stride... But I need to love myself and my own lot in life, which from my response should convey just how we would never work. But also I don’t need her ... I won’t attempt to vilify her or lambast her , as she does have a reasonably solid opinion, and in the articulation you can see why I loved this woman so much, but I really need to stop inventing my own parallels of familiarity in lifestyle so I can justify a potential relationship. We are obviously painted by different strokes... I love you more than you will ever know, I still feel hurt because of how stark some of your words were in delivery... I can’t quite forgive how the experience went down, but from how I see where you place your energy in life, the fact is your not ready for something like this and outside this lifestyle you don’t have the experience to know or feel empathy of anyone else anyway.. I did hurt you too, as my little pissy fit in june should have been controlled and was really a means to provoke you to respond as our connection was so sparse ( even thought my very last response was pretty accurate) and I just wanted to hear from you in some fashion at that point and I could not take that I really had lost you and for that I am sorry. I am sorry for the autistic comment regardless of how I meant well, it was pigeonholing and it was wrong to put it in the spot light. there are just ways you go about things I feel is worrying though some of my obsessive habits over you were not a gleaming beacon of perfection either.. I would apologise in person, I would but the reason I withdraw is cause I know it wouldn’t make a shred of difference to how you hold yourself in your current life, or your opinion of the matter in general. You probably still don’t realise how you’ve done me wrong also.. The bottom line is you had an inherent lack of apathy for others, and in order to find a respectable way to end respective enmity in each other, I think it requires both of us knowing and willing-fully accepting we were both at fault. I wish I could talk to you again about our interests like we used to, I know there was a lot of fallout with each other, but even those small close moments, made it worthwhile for me, and maybe if you did love me back I would have stuck by you to the end.. but I think the communication will just set up the abject ball and racket in our own little ball courts were we’ll probably just serve up our own recriminations back and forth. In tandem you are as much to blame for making this relationship fail as I am.. but I guess I should learn not to be so desperate and to control my anxiety so I may put forth effort into something that really matters like you have. And I guess in equal consideration, this lesson I need to learn is in similar focal point as your need to learn empathy and self-accountability. We both have our lessons laid out in front of us.. so I guess it’s time we went living it and then learning it... ok so her post...: “It isn't idiocy to want or make art that has positive messages and imagery. I find that dark art in general, especially when it's done just for the purpose of being dark, pretty boring. It's easy to make people simply feel uneasy or repulsed with art. And the emotion stops right there, like you're hitting a brick wall. The only meaning you derive from it is a singular, unpleasant feeling. People really want that? People appreciate beauty, colours (or very accomplished monochrome pieces ), and emotions that are enriching. Art should not be about alienating everyone (outside of a very tight circle of people that claim to 'understand' it). There is a sort of inherent snobbery in the art world that has been going on for ages. The people in the aforementioned circles seem to get a kick out of being pretentious with their work. There's far more meaning in a piece that everyone can enjoy, rather than only a handful of elitists. That will never change.” And my theoretical response: I think your kind of painting “dark art” with very a fine brush. Dark art can be creative too, provided that there is a level of candour in their work. Of course craftsmanship and expression should also go hand-in hand as well... which I guess some of the more recent artists seem to forget.... Sometimes people use such dark art as means to express something ineffable in their lives , as a way to express something they cannot otherwise find a tantamount medium for with tools such as words alone; be it a sense of helplessness, Anger, alienation, or whatever grips their creative zest. In extreme cases their ability in art is perhaps their only outlet shy from self-destructive activities, to do something at least remotely pro-active. In the grand scheme people may not appreciate it and some of it , yes , can be quite self-indulgent. But the intensity and unwavering verisimilitude in how they express themselves in some selective pieces is one of the factors that make a lot of dark art stand out for me( and how it’s translated with such intricate display). No holds barred, no sensibilities to appeal to as a means to dampen the honesty, just raw and heartfelt emotions cascading out of the end of the brush. (Provided that craftsmanship isn’t given the old heaveho, which I think is closer to what your trying to say.. but I could be wrong.. ) Dark art obviously is not right up your ally but it has much of a hold on people as lighter pieces’ enrichment . unfortunately dark art as a expressive medium is now welcomed with open arms by the high-end pedants who self- appoint themselves as the judicators of what is and isn’t art ( only a individual can decide that, as art is subjective) , it kind of lets cynically tasteless pieces like the one you describe, seep in like virulent bacteria into a open wound. In this case ( a friend had a similar problem) the real problem is when elitists feel they are the final say on what is or isn’t up to standard, and are the minority that give this kind of drivel the green light. Of course some of the art you’re probably referring to is the kind of thing produced in high volumes also, and to insure appeal to a certain clique in fashion right now and so merely adding to a current status quo. Because that’s what get’s them noticed, and so the inundated style for the du jour is really so they can toot their own horn, and from the admiration make up the digits from what’s popular right now. In this regard, if you’re talking about dark art as a means for simple shock value to get attention then I understand the natural baulk in regards to giving dark art a doff of the cap. Then again the kind of art produced for sole intention to cater to a particular group is only par for the course and should be quite obvious to spot when they use blatant and generalized emotional torques to get people to be onboard with what the person produces. This in a broad sense is called marketing and people have been doing for years, and yes this includes art pieces intended to invigorate people with lush and amiable colours or themes so accessible that everyone is likely to like it. But where you go wrong I feel is leaning towards lighter piece of art as the be all end all of good art. Really I think you should see the bigger picture, as what you describe really boils down to a lack of sincerity in a lot of recent “dark art”, so it does nothing for you. ( glad you spot the insincerity at least in one way,) I think you might want to direct the aiming reticule from generalizing dark art and maybe look into the semantics of why people make a certain type of art in general. I don’t think dark art is the only culprit for “singular” responses or to go a step further in the problem “cater to easy emotional responses”. (I.E seeing dead animals = horrifying, or seeing a litter of cute vivacious puppies = happy). Good Art for me is a way to make a inexpressible , expressible BUT also in a way that shows the fruit of the artists labour on the canvas (be it light or dark art) and shown they have taken time and effort to bring this piece to life ( unlike a certain art form coughconceptualartcough.) And if the singular feeling of repulsion is the ONLY thing instilled by others in said art, then is obvious that the person is just attention seeking and it loses any meaning. And expressing tit for tat, there are some “non dark/happy” pieces of art that appeal with such broad-stroke levity to insure awe from easy emotional torques (despite the glaring obvious token effort in overall design )That I myself sometimes find it more sinister and disturbing than dark art in ways beyond just being insincere... Just a thought.. Edited January 6, 2012 by TheJiltedGeneration Link to post Share on other sites
perfectlyflawed459 Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 Today I really wanted to reach out to you. I really miss you dude, and sometimes this silence is so unbearable. I need to remember though that this is probably the best option for both of us, even though it hurts. I just want to give you a hug...I miss your bear hugs. Link to post Share on other sites
EyeAlone Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 I'm having difficulty forming a clear image of you in my mind, but I'm not complaining. Your birthday is coming up in less than 2 weeks and I'm so happy I didn't have to waste my time, money, and energy for deciding on a gift for you. Actually...I do have a birthday present for you. it's called more NC. Happy 1 month of NC! Link to post Share on other sites
smartguy Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 Well I seen her log on to Facebook my heart sunk! Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 I've been thinking about you a lot lately. Most of my thoughts are full of anger and disappointment. I am very, very sorry that I ever met you. I wish I had never met you. I wish you never came back into my life. I hate you. You are a loser and a user. You are a disgusting piece of garbage and you can just go to Hell. Link to post Share on other sites
shook187 Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 i wish you'd message me.. Link to post Share on other sites
Buttercup84 Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 I miss you doodle , I miss you calling me by my pet name . I wish I did things differently . Link to post Share on other sites
lost_one_01 Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 You know Jayne I truly hate you. I have heard you are still a player and did to others what you did to me. Then you have the gall to look at my profile several times on sight we met on. Think I am going to fall for it huh??guess again bitch. I so regret having you come in my life...I could have done with out it. Was a waste of my time...knowing all the things you said to me were pure lies. All you did was use me and play me..nothing more. You have not learned a damn thing..you screwed with another guy and just like you you jump to another. Shows me you have no morals..any sort of a good heart or soul in you. I admit you got a reaction out of me...just leave me alone now...get the hell out of my head and stop thinking of me you stupid cunt!!!!!!!! I will never ever forgive you..what you did is unforgivable. I feel sorry for the poor bastard you are with now...he has not a clue what you are capable of. Wonders if he knows you are still reaching out to other exes..but like I said he will find out in his own way. You are so ****ed up that you think a moth between "relationships" is normal..maybe for a slut like you it is Link to post Share on other sites
kimchi84 Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 (edited) That lunch yesterday was defiantly something I wasn't expecting. Its great to know you're doing well, and enjoying your 20s. Going out and having fun with your friends drinking and partying and meeting new ppl. at least one of us is getting some action. Im in no hurry in that category though. I know this may sound strange, but im glad you told me you're "seeing" someone else. For that, I thank you for releasing me and cutting the rope that I was emotionally attaching myself to for 5months. Im now able to go about my day not stressing over you. I was aiming for next fall. Thought a year would be a good time for you to make up your mind about us. Apparently you still have lots of searching to do, finding out who you are and what it is that you want in your future. I know you may not have thought I was the right person for you. I hope you find that person, treats you well and makes you happy. I'll never forget all the awesome memories we made together, but its time for you to go make new ones with someone else. You're a great girl, to be around and to know in my life. You made me realize what love means to me, but im going to take that and move on with mine. I'm no way mad at you, because there was no harm done just lots of confusion. Now I may have a calmer sense of where it all may have came from. You may not agree with me, but from someone that went through it herself, i did and still do think you are suffering from GIGS. Even though, its 7days past New Years 2012, mine has started today. -Thank You! A whole bunch of weight has been knocked off my shoulders. Edited January 7, 2012 by kimchi84 Link to post Share on other sites
Chs Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 This is hard to say, and i don't even know if you want to hear it. I met this girl, i remember how we looked at each other and smiled. I think we had the shortest and wierdest conversation ever, but i still fell for her right away. Straight from that moment she was all i thought of, i couldn't get through a day of not speaking to her without feeling off. She taught me what it really means to love someone, and im sure she knows me better than any other person on our little planet. The girl is you, as im sure you have come to realise by now. I hope you won't hate me for contacting you again, but i want you to know that the memory of you is something i will always treasure. Thank you for everything you have given me, and trust me that is more than you know! Link to post Share on other sites
shook187 Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 so here i am again, thinking of you. i don't really have much to say except your always in my head.. love you so much. Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 I thought about some of the rotten things you did to me and I cried. Then I read notes I took from a self help book and I felt better. I came into 2012 without you. On December 28th I told you to not contact me. My roommate told me that next time, he's calling the police. I sent you an email telling you that the next step would be notifying the police if you kept contacting me. I'm glad that was in December. I am glad that I've had no contact with you this year. You did rotten thing after rotten thing to me and have the nerve to send me a text telling me you hope all my dreams would come true....when I repeatedly told you to leave me alone. Next step is contacting the police. Do you really want the police to investigate you again? You are a little dummy. Link to post Share on other sites
SimonSerenade Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 It's been long over a year since the break up, I used to resent you, hate you for it even but after the last few weeks I realise you did me a huge favour for walking out on me, you where an arsehole, your still an arsehole and the only thing that'll change from now until the end of your life is that you'll become an even bigger of an arsehole. You treated me badly, you moved out on me for no real reason, you kept me hanging around for a good year or so, you mucked everything up, you killed us long before you broke us up and now I have to live with the fact that I hurt over someone like you for so long, that I bent over and took it up the tailpipe for some so selfish, childish and pathetic, I am so happy that I'm away from you and I never ever want to be with you ever again, you wasted a good 3 years of my life that I may never get back. I spent so long on my own never once thinking I'd find anybody who I can relate to and connect with on a real emotional level again and then out of nowhere, someone comes along and completely blows me away, naturaly I'm going at a snail's pace about it but I hope something comes out of it eventually, she's probably the nicest girl I ever met and by far the most beautiful, just a completely genuine honest person, so much more than you've ever been and ever will be and if it dosen't work out then it dosen't and I'll find someone else who will eventually be better than you. I'm happy now, I don't even know what we had but it wasn't love... at least not on your end, you always said I deserved better and I geuss I'm getting that now thankyou Link to post Share on other sites
IfiKnewThen Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 just wanted to say..yay simon! Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 I've been thinking about the fact that you refused to email me and came up with excuses to do it while you emailed the person you were cheating on me with. You told me you could not email me, and then told her you could be her e-pal. It makes me angry that you treated me so badly, but I'm getting better as the days go on. My sis said years ago that something was wrong with your head and I found out this year that she was right. You are the sickest and the most diabolic person I have ever know. I feel so completely sorry for your new girlfriend. She has no idea what is coming her way. You lie about everything: big things, little things, and stupid things. You are the most ridiculous person I have ever known. Link to post Share on other sites
brokendreamz Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 So 12 months today huh? God, I can't believe how quick it's gone. Still miss you like crazy flower, but somehow the edges are blurred now. I manage to stop myself before I disappear into my head and get bogged down with such negative thoughts. It's take a LOT of really hard work but it's been worth every minute. It's still weird referring to you as 'The Ex' I guess you'll always have a place in my heart and I sincerely hope that you are really happy with life :0) I'm so sorry for not seeking help before I'm so sorry for the way I treated you I'm so sorry for the way I spoke to you I'm so sorry for not supporting you emotionally I'm so sorry for being selfish I'm so sorry for making no effort with your friends I'm so sorry for the way I behaved around your family I'm so sorry for pushing you into the arms of another man I'm so sorry for not letting you go I'm so sorry that we had to sell our house - I know you loved it there as much as I did I'm so sorry for not listening I'm so sorry for not stroking your hair more often I'm so sorry for moaning about everything I'm so sorry for not showing you how much I loved you I'll always love you and I'll always regret certain things that happened because of me... You were the perfect partner. You're such an inspirational person and I was lucky to have you in my life. I'll never blame you for leaving - you were so brave. God I miss our special hugs - no one else fits like you and believe me, I've been trying!! Take care Petal. Miss you.. X Link to post Share on other sites
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