AwptiK Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 This thread really helps me out at times. I always act like i'm actually talking to my ex, so I say what I need to and don't add more to the situation that happened. K, I can actually say this is my first message to you without being upset.. I'm healing and I feel great. For what it's worth, I thought i'd share that with you. I do miss you and I certainly still find it difficult to be around you at work. This is how things are supposed to be though and I can accept that. I worry about you meeting someone, them having what I did.. That's my last "hurdle" right now. I know it's expected and obviously going to happen, the idea just doesn't sit right with me. I guess, it's just because i've always viewed you as "my" girl and I don't like sharing, haha. I know i'll get over this soon enough and I really do wish you the best in your future relationships. I made myself a promise and you were my witness, to work on the issues i've had and i've been doing just that. It's getting better and better by the day. Also, I'm really sorry for being short/off/mean, or whatever you'd like to call it. I guess you'd always use "ill" to describe this... I do want you to understand that right now, communication is difficult. It has been since the breakup. I never intend to be mean and being short is the opposite of what I wish I could be...but it's the easiest way for me to not attach to you and not want to continue pursuing you. I know in a sense it's pushing you away, but for both our sakes that space is still necessary. -S Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 CopingGal I enjoy all the posts you've been making in this thread. You could add my ex to the recipient line of these imaginary messages we'd like to send, they'd be fitting in my situation too. Exit, I am sorry that you are in pain. I do appreciate your posts too. They make me feel like I'm less alone in this situation, as do a lot of the posts on LS. Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 I think about how productive my life is. I think about how your life is so completely selfish, even your hobby is selfish. You say your new gf- the stupid bitch you are dating, is a better fit for you. I agree. You're both selfish, stupid, impulsive, disrespectful, and painful to look at. Good luck trying to get that bigoted, stupid, hag to actually be a mother to your kid. But then again, anything is better than you parenting that kid alone. You have the body of a little child. Remember one Christmas, I asked you if you wore child sizes? That's why. And you're not 5 ft. 8. You never were 5 ft. 8. It's just another lie you tell so you can pretend you are not short. That lie is so incredibly stupid. I tower over you, so you can't be 5 ft 8. Just another stupid lie, like you lied about mice not being in your house...like you lie about everything. Who in the world lies about mice? That is how ridiculous you are. You lie about mice. You lie about facebook. You lie about your autistic child. You lie about money. You lie about women. All you ever do is lie. You are as disgusting as those hemorrhoids you had. F you. Link to post Share on other sites
Nohbody Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 Just so you know: I will never forgive you for what you did. I will hate you until I die. Link to post Share on other sites
proactivedreamer Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 I have been working on trying to remove my emotions when thinking about your decision to end our relationship. It has been quite difficult to face these last few days with all that was said, and the only thing that makes this a bit less awful is knowing that you are being kind to yourself by stepping away in order to have peace of mind and happiness. I thought you were happy with me, and maybe you were, but the constant lying to your dad probably weighed on your conscience among other things. I really miss you, and I find myself fighting back tears at the thought of you. I really started to feel something special for you. I find, in my life, that I care less and less about what someone has in the way of practicalities. I find it strange that you brought up age difference after our break up when you were the one who insisted that it wasn't a problem. Some of the things you said were strange and baffling, and I am not sure if you were saying those things only to convince yourself that this wasn't "right." I have been waddling in anger off and on since this happened. I feel absolute fury because I thought we were working at a good thing. I miss you. I wish I could tell you that. I hope you are happy, and not suffering too much. These last few days have been gut wrenching and tear-filled. I'll just let the pain of this come and go as it will. Sending you positive thoughts. Link to post Share on other sites
Buttercup84 Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 I was getting on with my life pretty well until you contacted me again after so long . I still missed and loved you but was better . How could you say all those things then pull away ? saying how much you miss and love me , you would do anything to be with me again and make up for it for the rest of your ****ing life ? to me that is almost a proposal . And stupid me was already all giddy about seeing you again . I know you live so far away now and that is one of the reasons you are acting distant again . But you said you are worried that things won't work out between us again . Well if we do not try we will not know . How will you feel always wondering what could have been ? you said you are going to therapy soon to get your issues sorted out . If you really wanted me you would do anything to be with me again , move for me . Because I as planning on moving for you so many times . How am I supposed to get on with my life now ? after all that you said ? I miss you so much despite you being an ******* Link to post Share on other sites
Jarrod18 Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 Hello L, Look, I dont know what to say. I would of thought all this time I would of built up so many things to say to you I wouldn't know where to start but It must be a sign of how far I have moved on. I've been silent for such a long time, I went NC, not to move on from the relationship. But to move on from you. To move on from 4 years of spending intimate time with another person I used to have such great respect for. It feels kind of ironic really, your the one person who showed me how its worth putting yourself out there for love, after all my cynism about relationships you taught me so much but at the same time your left me no choice but to completly shut you out of my life forever.Shut out isn't the right word here, cut is more appropiate. I feel like I've had to cut more than just the thought of you out of me, alot of the last 4 years Ive had to cut aswell, a big part of that was a part of me I developed aswell and its what frustrates me the most. I know you have tried to make petite contact with me but its so void of context. Its like you think our relationship ended so beatifully we became best mates and we have jsut forgot to contact eachother in the last year. It was just too little...too late. And it makes me sad to some extent, I say some extent because it also makes me feel somewhat dull. That dullness is whats left from when it did hurt me to think about, but now its a mild dullness...which I know is better. I know it should be okay for us to be friends now, I know its what you want, for us to be civil, have random contact over email....to ease in part your guilt, but it just feels wrong. It just feels too wrong, so much is unresolved so much I already had to put behind me. Unless you were to do something I know you wont I dont think we will ever know eachother again. Unless you were to actually open up how you felt about everything in all honesty... to yourself first then I guess mabye I would reconsider. This is a small part of what I would like to write to you, I know I still have more to spill out aswell.. Link to post Share on other sites
CLS63AMG Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 You said I needed to be a University grad, via your mothers push. Meanwhile you are failing out of school and I am doing just fine. Your mother is over weight and nasty, she also took you and your brother away from your father in the scheme of a trip to another country and never went back 11 years ago. This has had deep impacts on you which you wont admit. You provide nothing, your life consists of riding a bus back and forth to school and sometimes hang with your 1 and only friend that couldnt secure a relationship if she tried (10 in the time I knew..every guy left after no longer than 2 weeks to a month). No car, no license, no job..nothing. Just leeching off your mom and me when I was around. In the big picture I know you were looking to switch the leech from your mom to me and know I dont roll like that, you must provide something. You are lazy and eat waaay too much candy and chocolate, you are going to blow up and look like your mother. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted January 22, 2012 Share Posted January 22, 2012 I dreamed of you last night. You told me you loved me and then you kissed me. I wanted to ask you "Then why are you with her?" but I didn't have the courage. I woke up and I realized I still love you. All the anger and pain are only there because I still love you. I don't feel angry anymore. I just feel so terribly, unbearbly sad. The thought that you don't love me (or at least not as much as I love you), that you divorced me, and that you're with her right now hurts me so badly. I can't stand the thought that she is sleeping in our bed every night, that she is sitting next to you in your car and airplane, that you took her on a romantic vacation, and you call her "honey." Why didn't you want it to be me? Oh, because you never truly loved me, I know. But then why did you always try to hurt me on purpose? Why do you keep sentimental pictures of us on FB where we're holding hands? Is that just to play with my heart? You want to leave room in case you have no one else someday and you decide I am your last resort? If that's the case, I will never trust you that you love me. You would have to do some crazy things to prove your love to me if you ever realize that you actually love me. We both screwed up, but you gave up on us completely. I wonder if you ever loved me. I think people leave when they don't love. But, then why do I still love you? I will make a deal with God because I can't go on like this anymore. God, if we're meant to be together, then bring him back to me before my next birthday. If he loves me, he will ditch the bitch and propose to me with a ring. If that happens within the next seven week, I will take him back and forgive him for everything. I will never look back and I will be a good wife and I will make him a good husband. I will help him with his emotional issues and not judge him. I know he has problems and I know I wasn't prepared to be there for him in the past because he acted so strong and he put me down. But deep down he is a good person and he needs someone to love him unconditionally - which is what my Dad said long time ago: he didn't have unconditional love from his mother and he desperately wants to either get it from his woman or to punish the woman for his mother's lack of love. God, bring him back to me and I will be a good girl. I won't drink, I'll stop smoking, I'll be nice to him always and I will do everything right. But, if he doesn't come back by my next birthday, I will take it as a sign from You that You don't want us to be together ever, and I will move on. I have to put a stop to this never-ending suffering. In seven week, it will be over one way or another. Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted January 23, 2012 Share Posted January 23, 2012 Hello L, L is for loser. You know what you are. You can't help yourself. You will always be a loser. You will die a loser. My roommate said your armpits smell like crap. I hope your stupid hag can put up with that. You are nothing. You will always be nothing. You get off on tricking women. You think it's fun to tell lies then run behind the backs of your girlfriends. You are a serial cheater. You think it's fun to cheat. You think it's fun to disrespect woman. You get off on it. You are a little, insignificant man who can't stop cheating and can't stop lying to whatever woman he is with at the time. You use women like pawns and then go crying to your next girlfriend about how badly the former girlfriend treated you. You are one of the most dysfunctional people I have ever known. Now I know why your ex-wife calls you Peter Pan. You are the most repulsive bastard I have ever known. Do the world a favor and get fixed. If you dropped dead today, the world would be better off. That's how much of a loser you are. You are a lying whore. You will always be a lying whore. You will die a lying whore. I pity any woman that hooks up with you. Link to post Share on other sites
SimonSerenade Posted January 23, 2012 Share Posted January 23, 2012 So it's taken a year and 7 months for this to happen... for this final breakthough but it happened and now... I can finaly truly forgive and forget, you've never once asked for that but I'll give it to you regardless because everything that once hurt me and put me through so much has gone now, it took meeting some special people in the process, it took realising the true good inside of me and realising I was so much better than what happened, I deserved better and now your gone I can finaly have that. A big part of me, maybe the biggest part of me will never forget and will always treasure the life we had back then, it's almost a dream now but I know it was once a part of reality and it the most perfect reality I could of ever wished for, just having that once in my life is enough for me I think, maybe one day I'll have that again with someone else, I hope that happens and I hope it's everything I remembered it to be and more. You was the biggest part of my life and I'll never forget the love and happiness you once brought to the table, for that I wish you the best possible life you can get and all the happiness and joy this world has to offer, I really hope you find your way through life and live it the way you always wanted, you was something special, I hope you find the best possible version of yourself and be that someone else again, it would be a massive waste otherwise, take care and be good to yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted January 23, 2012 Share Posted January 23, 2012 I read more about sociopaths yesterday. I feel pity for you. I really do. Link to post Share on other sites
goldengirl11 Posted January 24, 2012 Share Posted January 24, 2012 (edited) Thanks to you have just ruined my diet and ordered a pizza!!!!!!! Edited January 24, 2012 by goldengirl11 Link to post Share on other sites
goldengirl11 Posted January 24, 2012 Share Posted January 24, 2012 By the way, think it's a right cheek that you responded (ok was lucky there) to my new year message, but after asking me what I was up to you don't reply in telling me what YOU'RE uo to. A fitness plan didn't answer the question. Back to flippin' NC again. Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted January 24, 2012 Share Posted January 24, 2012 I feel better today. My life is so much better than yours. I do lots of things several times a week to help make the world a better place. What do you do? Lie, cheat, whine. I am in school. What about you? You have a job that you don't find fulfilling. I am kind, nice, and a good person. What are you? A compulsive liar, a user, and a compulsive cheater. I am trying to make my life better. What about you? You ruin everything you touch and think it's okay to run around people's backs and do terrible things to them. I spoke to my mom and brother yesterday. What about you? You have no contact with your family...not even your mom and you removed your dad from your life just because he got sick and could no longer recognize you. I tell my brother jokes to brighten his day. What do you do? You use your autistic child in your schemes to lie and cheat. Yep...I certainly have the better life. Here's some advice- since you spend your life crawling around on your belly, keep that going...crawl into the nearest cave and don't come out. Just stay there and rot. I'll send a rescue team out to you in about 15 years. F you. Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted January 24, 2012 Share Posted January 24, 2012 L is for loser And that is no yarn Your face looks like It belongs in a barn You tricked me You lied You cheated and more You're a filthy slut A disgusting whore You live your life at a ridiculous pace And you look like Someone threw up on your face -- You can't stand cigarette smoke Yet you are marrying a smoker You want more kids Yet you are marrying an old woman -- Never mind, Your cheating skills will come in handy You go from woman to woman just like we were candy You'll get yours one day When time thinks that you're due Until then I'll just say Good luck and F you! Link to post Share on other sites
shook187 Posted January 24, 2012 Share Posted January 24, 2012 still miss you. but doesnt mean u'll ever get me back bubba Link to post Share on other sites
LostJustLost Posted January 27, 2012 Share Posted January 27, 2012 I thought I was past this, the feelings, but this morning seeing all those items from you put me into a tail spin. You walked away, why didn't you stay away? Why do this to me? You must have known it would tear open the wounds you left behind. You have over 3000 friends on facebook. Why post on my wall? There's no way you could see any random update from me if you're not looking for it. Why did you comment? I didn't want to remove you, but you're not leaving me much choice. This morning it all came screaming back. Everything. I screamed, I burst into tears, confused by the mess I found myself in. Then I sobbed, I wanted to throw up, I wanted to die. Why, after months of ignoring my pleas for closure do something like this? Why ***? Why? Haven't you done enough damage? Please.. I hold no ill will toward you, I hope no matter where you go in life, you find peace and happiness. Just leave me out of it from now on, it hurts too much. Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted January 28, 2012 Share Posted January 28, 2012 I thought I was past this, the feelings, but this morning seeing all those items from you put me into a tail spin. You walked away, why didn't you stay away? Why do this to me? You must have known it would tear open the wounds you left behind. You have over 3000 friends on facebook. Why post on my wall? There's no way you could see any random update from me if you're not looking for it. Why did you comment? I didn't want to remove you, but you're not leaving me much choice. This morning it all came screaming back. Everything. I screamed, I burst into tears, confused by the mess I found myself in. Then I sobbed, I wanted to throw up, I wanted to die. Why, after months of ignoring my pleas for closure do something like this? Why ***? Why? Haven't you done enough damage? Please.. I hold no ill will toward you, I hope no matter where you go in life, you find peace and happiness. Just leave me out of it from now on, it hurts too much. Hi. Sounds like you need to block him on facebook. That's what I did. If my ex does a search for me on facebook, my page will not even come up. Link to post Share on other sites
moosekaka Posted January 28, 2012 Share Posted January 28, 2012 I was angry today. I remembered the last few weeks of us together and it was hell. I was at fault for 95% of it, but now I remember that you pulled away and refused to acknowledge that you were doing so to. Remembering those feelings brought me back into feeling like a lost and resentful 5 year old who can't get what he wants. I caught myself in time from falling deeper into that spiral and meditated, did yoga and now feel better. I wished I had those tools back then. It probably could have helped me from letting my emotions run wild. I am going to go to a dance class and attend a dance competition this weekend. That's funny because you were once a dancer and I thought it was gay, but now I find it fun and it provides me with some social interaction. What will you do this weekend? Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted January 28, 2012 Share Posted January 28, 2012 I thought about you today. Those songs I love remind me of you. It's hard to think of the good times because you lied so much, I don't know if you were cheating on me from the begining. You lied and lied so much, I don't know what was truth and what was not. The times you said you couldn't meet me because you were sick. Were those lies too? Because you had to work. Were those lies too? Is your name even what you say it is? Were you even born a man? You have a body like a woman. Maybe you have gender corrective surgery to make you resemble a man. Who are you? What are you? I don't know anything. F you! Link to post Share on other sites
dicky_fish Posted January 28, 2012 Share Posted January 28, 2012 God damnit I miss you so much! To think this time last year I was looking after you as best I could while you were ill, and you even used to say you felt better when I was around. What did I do wrong!? Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted January 29, 2012 Share Posted January 29, 2012 (edited) Hello dummy, It's me again. It's been 30 days since we have spoken...thank goodness I have arrived at the 30 day mark. I hope you have used this time constructively, such as getting yourself fixed and self-flogging. Your life is meaningless. You ruin everything you touch. You use every girlfriend you ever had. You are the most disgusting thing I have ever seen in my life. You're nasty, you stink, you don't use enough soap when you wash. I saw how little soap you use to clean your filthy, disgusting body. I could not believe it. Nasty on the outside, nasty on the inside. Only a dirty slut like you could appreciate filth the way you do. You are a dirty slut. You live like a dirty slut. You will die a dirty slut. You are just an insult to anything that is good and clean. You have poor cleanliness skills. You don't understand how to properly use soap. You are as dirty on the inside as you are on the outside. You like feeling your own hemorrhoids. You are disgusting. Edited January 29, 2012 by CopingGal Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 Hello you filthy bombaclot, F you Link to post Share on other sites
SimonSerenade Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 It feels good to be over you, of course every now and then I miss you but it's not really you that I miss, it's what we had, it's what you were, it's what your not anymore, life will always be so much better though now because you were in it, we have our little boy, the greatest treasure anybody could of hoped to have found, his love makes meeting you and going through all of this worth while, I'm not sad anymore, I'm certain I'll find what I'm looking for one day, I'm sure you'll do the same. The next time we see eachother, I'll try out a smile and I'll see how we get along, I had hoped you might of given me some parting words back then but I found my own closure and now that I have that I can finaly get myself on a few more dates and hopefully be ready for whoever might come my way . Link to post Share on other sites
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