Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[favoritepills]

I hate to say it, but I miss you. It's Day 2 now of my first breakup ever, and my roommate's been helping me get through this. We went to Target to buy groceries, but that reminded me of how much fun it was to go shopping with you, and how I'll never share that experience with you again.

 

I wish I could distract myself by thinking about something else, but there's nothing else to think about.

 

How are you doing? Have you told your parents yet? What did they say?

 

We said we were confident we could be friends again, but now I'm not so sure. Every time we were together you were my love, and most of our conversations were about work (I could talk to some other friend about that, probably, but none as witty as you), how much we loved each other, our future, and how good the food was at whatever restaurant we were at. If we became friends again, I'd have no idea what to talk to you about.

 

We fell into the trap of young love -- our relationship ended like a supernova, getting bigger and brighter until it just exploded and left a black hole. But now that I've had time to think things over, I've come to the realization that we could really make this work, if we committed to working harder towards our relationship. So this breakup is a good thing, it gives us time to grow, I just wish it didn't hurt so much. I am willing to try harder for our love, if you are, but you have to be the one to call and tell me you miss me and want to try again. I'm not hopeful, but I am open to the idea.

 

You left me, and every day is another day you choose not to be with me. Every day is a rejection, and knowing that makes every hour feel unbearably long.

 

All I can do is look at my phone, dying to call you, and then walk out of the room to ask my roommate to talk me out of calling you.

 

NC sucks.

[IfiKnewThen]

Today I became so inconsolable over what had happened i was hospitalised. What a very dark place I have found myself in

Todays my turning point now...

 

 

hang in there xxSRMxx

[CopingGal]

I thought about you today and prayed for you today. It must suck having sociopathic tendencies. I feel sorry for you. I really, really do. It must be such a burden at times to have people enraged at you because you are so selfish and evil. I really do feel sorry for you.

 

It must be hard being a sad sack of human crap. It must be hard, venturing out from your job as King of the Sandwich Makers, only to get fired every time, having to return to your former position. It must be hard runing around and around in circles and never getting anywhere. I expect you will be homeless again in about a year or so because you won't pay your rent but will lie to the landord and say "I mailed it in." I feel so incredibly sorry for you. You're incapable of having any kind of healthy, deep relationship that lasts. You're incapable of being honest. You're incapable of being consistently kind. You move money from account to account. You can't live in one place more than a year. Wow, sis was right. You really are a loser.

[favoritepills]

Another night without sleep. God damn it. I want so desperately to stop thinking about you.

[coltsfan1]

Seriously, damn...... old news and old wounds, sometimes you look and laugh or look and cry. I try not to look at all, well back to working on the house.

[jennisfora]

i still miss you. you say this is what you want. i want to believe you. i am sorry i made you angry by cutting you off. i have my reasons. if you dont want to give me false hope, it is for the best to not contact me. i want real hope. but i know that it will be many months before that is even possible.

 

you may not like the dating scene, and you may like being a lone wolf. but i know eventually, you will get lonely. you will miss the companionship. i just don't know where i will be, or if it will be easier for you to take up with someone new, or if i will still want you.

 

memories are starting to fade. i suppose i am grateful you hated having your pic taken so much. i have hardly any pics of you, and the few i have, i dont look at. the only pics of us together were taken at your party, and i never got to see them. by the time they were put on fb, you had ditched me. us slow dancing, us looking at each other lovingly. right after the break up i wanted those pics so much, to at least see them, to see you loving me. to remember. but now, i suppose im glad i dont have access to them, i never got to see them. they aren't around to remind me of my loss.

 

you are so angry, what was it you said? infuriated? that i texted you, and then said to not contact me. it is upsetting when someone cuts you out of their life for no discernible reason, isn't it? it is so frustrating not being the one to do the rejecting, to not be the one in control of the situation. must be hard having me say, no thank you.

 

right now, you are waiting for me to break. but what you and your family never realized about me, is that i am very strong. i look sweet, innocent and fragile, but i will tell you, i am as stubborn as they come, and i am willful, and i have a ton of pride. i will not break. you have to lose me, i think, in order to realize what you lost.

 

as long as you think i am waiting in the wings for you to change your mind, you will not respect me, and you will not come back. i am removing myself from the boardgame. i hope you still love me somewhere, deep inside there, and i hope you conquer your fears, get some counseling, and return, a stronger better man. but, i know that is only hope, which isn't real but merely dreams.

[xxSRMxx]

Its not ending im constantly aching for you, my heart hurts, the tears dont stop. This seems to be the worst part of the day again!!!

 

Why couldnt you have just given me the chance to prove myself? I know I let you down, Im sorry....If i could put things right what i did wrong i would in an instant! I miss u.

[brokendreamz]

Nearly emailed you the other night. Nearly, but not quite...

 

Still think of you all the time - saw the perfume I was always trying to find for you has been re-released. Weird!

 

Still wonder if you think of me, and more importantly 'what' you think of me.

 

I've come such a long way because you left, I just wish I was still on this journey with you.

 

Hope you are all good. Hope you are happy (really).

 

Still love you.

 

Guess I always will huh?!

[robkris8079]

I want you back. **** you for not wanting to be with me. **** you for being a coward and acting how you did instead of talking to me. **** you for making me cut you loose, **** you for asking to still be friends after 5 years of commitment, **** you for moving in, **** you for building this life up, **** you for treating my daughter so good then leaving just like her mother, **** you for being so damn good looking, **** you for using me for what you needed then running as soon as you got where you were going, **** you for just being you!!

 

**** me for caring!

 

(wow had a little moment there, I have been so good about this BU. Guess I needed let something out)

[CopingGal]

I'm better off knowing that you would not change a thing. But allow me to say this...if I could do it all again, I would not. If I could have a choice between dating an unbalanced, worthless slut and being alone....yep, I would chose to be alone. I pity any woman who ends up with you. Make sure she has a good psychologist.

[Phanpooh]

Every nite, I wish you best luck! So, please let me dream without you!

[coltsfan1]

I just don't get it, after all the hurt, suffering, and pain you caused I still miss you. It seems like madness to think about, I question myself at times. I look at all I have done since the breakup and I have came so fair. I really don't know what has brought this all back up and I am ready for it to be buried again. I have posted more in this thread in the last month than the last year combined.

[favoritepills]

Thinking about you now only results in a dull pain rather than a sharp, stabbing ache. This makes me feel hopeful.

[msfreebyme]

Monster,

I have finally started to realize why you act exactly the way you do.Sadly there isn't anything a psychologist can do for you. What you have from my understanding is that you are a Psychopathic Manipulator.

 

Here a video explaining you...I prefer video:

 

Pretty much a Psychopath is:

 

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][sIZE=2]Psychopaths cannot be understood in terms of antisocial rearing or development. They are simply morally depraved individuals who represent the "monsters" in our society. They are unstoppable and untreatable predators whose violence is planned, purposeful and emotionless. The violence continues until it reaches a plateau at age 50 or so, then tapers off. [/sIZE][/FONT]

 

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][sIZE=2]Their emotionlessness reflects a detached, fearless, and possibly dissociated state, revealing a low-state autonomic nervous system and lack of anxiety. It's difficult to say what motivates them - control and dominance possibly - since their life history will usually show no long-standing bonds with others nor much rhyme to their reason (other than the planning of violence). [/sIZE][/FONT]

 

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][sIZE=2]They tend to operate with a grandiose demeanor, an attitude of entitlement, an insatiable appetite, and a tendency toward sadism. Fearlessness is probably the prototypical (core) characteristic (the low-fear hypothesis). It's helpful to think of them as high-speed vehicles with ineffective brakes. [/sIZE][/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][sIZE=2] [/sIZE][/FONT]

 

 

 

 

 

 

THIS IS WHAT YOU ARE MONSTER.....DO YOURSELF, THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU, AND THE POOR GIRLS THAT DATE YOU A FAVOR AND GET HELP. i WANT NOTHING BUT TO HAVE YOU NOT BE A MONSTER.

[CopingGal]

Thank you for all the lessons I learned from 3 years with you.

1. Just because you are 60 years old, it didn't make you mature.

2. Trust my inner self always.

3. Love myself more than anyone else, always.

 

Your lies, manipulation, abuse, then ultimately leaving me and immediately marrying another woman taught me that I should have been my own best friend first, should have been the best me first, before ever trying to persue any kind of relationship. A whole person would have never put up with 3 years of you. May your 4th wife put up with your foolishness the rest of her life.

 

 

I hope not. She sounds like a victim too. And your ex sounds like my ex. And yes, it is important to figure out why we put up with these bombaclots. I'm bombaclot free these days.

[xxSRMxx]

I dont know why, but the mornings are SO HARD!!

I would usually be listening to u showering for work and instead im at mine, alone, I just dont know what to do. You said you want space and youve got it. the selfish part of me does not want you to meet anybody else and come back to me, but i have a bad feeling you will.

 

Im going to work abroad this summer, I cant face summer here without you when we had so many plans..

 

Its really weird but i dont miss you that much at nighttime but in the morning and day im terrible.

[Reddice]

One of the last times we spoke on the telephone, you told me that I could always call you if I wanted to. It's not so much the words, as it was the way in which you said it that stuck by me. It was as it you felt pity for me... As if you were doing me some kind of favour and you would do this against your will, just for me. How big of you! I have never been so vulnerable in my life, and all I got was pity. I felt so small. I felt as if my masculinity had been taken away. It still hurts.

 

For almost three years I was not only your partner, I was also your best friend. Heck... I was your only friend. I took care of you when you were ill. I picked you up when you were down. I tried to bring out the best in you no matter what. I was the voice of reason when you came up with stupid ideas. You always did your thing, but I was always right in the end. you were so intent on experiencing life, that you made a stupid decision. The wrong one in my opinion. One I still hope you will repent. You left me for another man. You did not love me anymore, I was not making you happy you said. So why all those shed tears if you didn't love me? Why all the lying if I meant nothing to you? Why all those love declarations even till the very end? I guess it must be true though, otherwise you would have come back to me already.

 

So, I have no intention on contacting you ever again. Not now, not ever. Quite frankly, I cannot think of a single reason why I should. Though I miss you dearly, there is nothing I can say or do to make you change your mind. The worst is, I still cry for your loss you know... I wish you all the best, but at the same time also all the worst. I hope you die a horrible death, and I also hope you live long and find the happyness you seek. I'm a bit lost without you, but I guess I will be fine. I will find my way again, I will manage. I chose you to be the most important person in my life... you did not do the same for me. In the meanwhile, I will do all I can to erase my memories of you. I am already starting to forget what you looked like and what your voice sounds like and I hope it won't take long before you are nothing but a bad dream. Farewell.

[CopingGal]

When I decided to go to bed with you, it was because I really liked you and had wanted to be with you for so long after you had gone back to your ex. Once you two broke up again, I never thought to wait longer to see if you would turn out to be the bastard that you were.

 

I realize now, going to bed with someone is not strictly about emotions...it's how they treat you as well...that is a really big component. You have to wait and see how they treat you further down the line. I did not do that. You have damaged me in ways you will never know. You have damaged me in ways that you do know and don't care. You have taken pleasure in causing me to suffer. You have taken pleasure in ripping my heart to pieces and bragged about not changing a thing about that.

 

I never knew evil could be so close to me. I never thought I would date anyone who was so disgusting and dastardly. I wish I could cleanse myself of your stench.

[jennisfora]

so, after me simply saying i wouldnt be contacting you, you tried to reach me so badly, but i know from your last message it was to tell me the same things you have been saying. i need to find someone better, you are better off alone. i know you don't want to reconcile. so, i have no reason to talk to you. you text me on tuesday "how long?"

 

i wish i could answer you, i wish i had an answer for you. how long does it take to forget someone you love? how long does it take to stop caring for someone? how long does it take for you to realize what you threw away? how long will it take for you to realize you can and will really truly lose me, unless something changes. unless i lose all emotional attachment and we can cobble some platonic thing, or unless you decide you want to reconcile rather than lose me. i dont know which will happen first, i dont know if either will happen, because i dont know the future, or how you or i will be feeling or not feeling.

 

when im over you, i may have no desire to reach out. or i may, think, well you were a nice guy, and not abusive, maybe we can be fb friends. or i may never be fully over you. i may have to disappear forever. i just dont know. so i wont answer you, because i dont have an answer for you. and i still think you just want the last word, or to be in control of initiating NC. so now i dont trust your motives, so i really cant say. but i know you dont want me back, and that is all i need to know. good bye, darling. *hugs & kisses*

[xenomorph]

Dearest Darkness,

I see that you are still moping around, despite how "happy" your new life was suppose to make you feel.

 

Wherever you are, there you are.

 

I do hope you grow up and get your **** together. Only then will you be worth my time and effort.

 

I despise that you are taking up so much of my emotional space. You don't deserve any of it right now.

[coltsfan1]

Sometimes I feel like I am screaming in the dark. Does this story end? I can't seem to write the final chapter. Each and every passing moment I grow, continually stronger and wiser. Moving up the mountain that I climb, with the hopes of a new dawn and fresh beginning. What will occur is still to be seen, I only wish to see that dawn. To bask in the warmth of a fresh day. Soon very soon I shall arrive at that peak and bath in the accomplishments and triumphs that lead me on!

[CopingGal]

I think you are an absolutely disgusting person. It's so sad that you are you.

[Jadempk]

I still can't believe 3 weeks on that you don't want me anymore. You always said you loved me more and I started to believe it. 7years and you are ready to walk away because your not happy with anything in life - you don't want my help? You get angry when I try to help. I want our normal happy life back. You always made me laugh and smile and I still love you. I don't really trust you, though. How can I? I don't know what to believe anymore? I bet you don't even think of me, or care how I feel. You said this is hard for you and when I was trying to text u I was making it harder for you-WTF ABOUT ME????? I was pushing through the hurt to reach out to you, because you sound depressed. How do you even have a right to be upset when this is your choice? I hate you and I love you but just want to not miss you.

[jennisfora]

i miss you still. even though i know if you wanted to reach out, and wanted me to talk to you, you would know what you would need to do. i know you are scared. i know you are a coward. fear has always held you back. every endeavor every regret you told me about, came down to a fear of failing, a fear of getting stuck.

 

i know that's why you bailed, and why you dont want to try again. you are scared. now, you are scared of losing me, even though you walked away. im a little surprised no new text today. but, then i know this is hard for you too. it must be hard to pretend life is better without anyone. i know the lack of responsibility is appealing, and i know you dont want to make a mistake.

 

i know you dont want to disappoint your family with another divorce. i find it sad that you must sacrifice your happiness to your family's altar, but, if i meant much to you, i feel you would have fought for me. you would be here now. you wouldnt have put me through this. you wouldnt have put my son through this. but then, you always did make decisions in the moment. i dont know how much thought you put into this. i dont know if you regret it. im sure part of you does, that part that hates making decisions because you always wonder what if...the path not taken, is your curse. i had no doubts about you. i thought we had a sure thing, im sorry you didnt feel the same. im still mourning the loss. *hugs & kisses*

[SilverBlueAndGold]

I know you are hurting, and even though you refuse to believe it I am hurting too. Everything I said to you I meant. I never lied to you or used you and it hurts me so much when you say that you think I just kept you around until I got tired of you. That is so untrue, you meant the world to me. We tried so many times and just found ourselves back in the same spot; you asked me early on if anything could tear us apart and I meant it when I said that nothing could break us apart but if we don't get our insecurities in check that will be the end of us. And it was.

 

Even after your angry outbursts, the hateful letters you have sent and even after attacking every fault of mine whether physical or emotional and putting it into writing, I still care for you and hope you find what you are looking for. But we are not meant to be together. Please, just let me go. Live your life in peace and let me live mine.

 

Let me remember you as the beautiful woman I fell in love with.