Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[Randybrandt]

Crazy, Crazy ex you really crack my up. My flatmate happened to check facebook your name happened to pop up under people you may know so he happened to click on it for **** and giggles as they say and he noticed wow you do tag your sweetie in alot of photos but somehow managed to block them somehow so I couldn't see them ( not that I care anyways) but it is quite amazing public can see your pictures but your ex boyfriend cannot see your photos but yet you still come after me for breadcrumbs ask me out for coffee but hide photos of your sweetie from me? I feel sorry for the poor fella I really do. He seems so innocent! He thinks you still love him clearly you do not you are using him if you loved him you wouldn't be asking me out for coffee and still be coming after breadcrumbs!! You sure know how to pick them! Based on what you have told me in the past when we broke up..... He drives a BMW, Buys you expensive clothing, bought you a yappy dog, let you move in with him and yes he is naive only I couldn't spoil you but I did treat you nice your loss sweetie. I look back and I see it clearly now my sweetness I had the looks, the charm but I couldn't spoil you! You didn't care what they looked like as long as they had the money you were happy and that is why you keep crawling back to me! You liked my looks, personality, charm but mr.boring and mr.money bags is probably wearing you thin I see it...... It doesn't take a genius to figure that one out my sweetness;) Cheerio!!!!! I do not want you anymore! Hopefully soon mr. moneybags will see that obviously you just like him for his car, the expensive clothing,etc,etc and soon he will soon and he will be saying what I just said cheerio only I will not be greeting you with open arms I will be slamming that door in your face and I will be ignoring your texts everytime you suddenly get bored. Edited April 22, 2012 by Randybrandt

[Jadempk]

I miss you. I miss you so much.

[passions]

I couldn't help myself. I've told you everything I had to say, including you being a cold emotionless stone. I can't remember everything I've said, I'm sure you do! It's really hard to be rude and nasty to someone you *like* but yeah you deserve it.

I will never never be able to truly forgive you, I will always feel slightly lost without you and I hate myself for it.

I wish you would pop up in my life saying "sorry ** sorry I hurt you, I really didn't mean to, hear me now I didn't mean to hurt you. I was a lost and dumb lamb and if I could do things differently I would" but you never even come close to sounding sincere.

 

I wish you all the unhappiness on earth.

[favoritepills]

It felt deeply rewarding to take the toothbrush you kept at my place and use it to clean the dryer lint trap.

[brokendreamz]

Just heard the news!

 

Can't believe it's been 15 months already, but I REALLY can't believe you going to marry him!!

 

Sheesh, that kinda rocked me to be honest. Lots of questions that I don't think I want to know the answer to.

 

Well I guess it doesn't acutally change anything as far as I'm concerned. I'm still living my life... Without you so what does it matter what you're up to?

 

I'm supposed to be coming off the anti depressants this week - think I might give it a little longer now though!!

 

When all is said and done, I just hope you are happy - I hope I can learn to be happy for you. He obviously rocks your world and to be honest, I think it could've been anyone - the way I behaved with you would have made most people look like a better prospect.

 

I wish I could talk to you and show you how much I've changed. I wish I could make you understand that it was down to this illness - the reason I treated you so badly. I look at these words and realise it comes accross like an excuse, but there must be something in it - I don't suffer like I used to and actually hate being around negative people where as before, that's who I felt most comfortable with.

 

Someone said recently 'Look at you, you're better off without her' I replied without even thinking: 'I may be better off because she left, but I am certainly not better off without her'.

 

I know the next bit of news I hear about you will hurt the most, but I'll try to be prepared for it - You know you're going to be the BEST Mum in the universe! Just wish it was me who was going to be the father. We'd be a great team!!

 

Take care.

 

X

[hurts_so_bad]

Babe

 

I just want to tell you how sorry I am for not being a better husband too you for the 17 years we were married. I know I hurt you countless times and wish that I could proove to you now how much I love you.

 

I know threw time you slowly fell out of love with me. I could tell by the way you kissed me something was wrong! Threw all the nights drinking, gambling, DWI's and not coming home, I cant say I blame you. The **** I put you threw no women in their right mind would have put up with. You did for a long time!

 

All I can say is if we can never be together again is, I thank YOU! I thank you for being a wonderful wife to me and for giving me three beautiful children that you can never do for any other man!

 

Even if it kills me I do wish you happiness no matter where it may come from!

 

I love you with all my heart!

[jennisfora]

last message from you was your "how long?" on the 17th. it is now the 23rd. i still have no answer for you, of course. and there is no magic date or number of days that i can give you. i miss you everyday, but i know it only hurts me to hear the same words from you, the polite rejection, and that you feel tremendous guilt. i am sorry you feel guilty. i'm sorry you got scared and bailed. i have come to realize i have other options. i havent made up my mind about anything right now, and am taking my time, and hope that you are doing the same.

 

it has been hard. at first, after telling you i was going NC, i had a feeling of taking control, which made me feel better. no one wants to be helpless and have a situation forced on them. but, now that it has been a week, and you haven't tried to reach out, which is respecting my wishes, i'm a little sad. i kinda wish you would send another text, saying please talk to me, or leave a voice mail. but, i know it is for the best that you dont.

 

i am not ready to give you any answers, nor do i feel that i can handle any more rejections from you. i think that time will bring clarity on both sides. i need to remember you arent the last man on earth. and you need to experience being single long enough for the novely to wear off, so that you can see if this is really what you want. being single and not dating is a choice that maybe i just dont understand. i have been single for periods of time, but generally i prefer companionship. perhaps, you prefer being single, and have found yourself companionship at times? it is an alien mentality for me, but i am accepting that perhaps it is what you want, and that it doesn't make me worth less. it is simply a choice.

 

i still miss you, i still love you. i hope you are well, and that you think of me now and again, as i still do you. *hugs & kisses*

[msfreebyme]

Babe

 

I just want to tell you how sorry I am for not being a better husband too you for the 17 years we were married. I know I hurt you countless times and wish that I could proove to you now how much I love you.

 

I know threw time you slowly fell out of love with me. I could tell by the way you kissed me something was wrong! Threw all the nights drinking, gambling, DWI's and not coming home, I cant say I blame you. The **** I put you threw no women in their right mind would have put up with. You did for a long time!

 

All I can say is if we can never be together again is, I thank YOU! I thank you for being a wonderful wife to me and for giving me three beautiful children that you can never do for any other man!

 

Even if it kills me I do wish you happiness no matter where it may come from!

 

I love you with all my heart!

 

 

 

 

 

If only my ex could realize what he did wrong. I can definately applaud you for standing up and realizing what happened on your part. Way to be a man =)

I think I can really draw some inspiration to forgive than to just hate...thank you.

[Follower]

You know one of these days ill wake up and finaly be over you, cannot wait untill that happens.

[robkris8079]

her message to me "hey! how r u?"

 

what I thought of replying but posted here instead:

 

I am fantastic, thanks for asking. Taking care of my daughter and the house, Going out, meeting new people, and being intimate with someone other then you! I don't know why you send me these messages but you should probably stop now. I'm moving on and I honestly don't see anything beneficial to having you in my life in any way at all. I am thinking about me only. Well that and my daughter of course and you in my life I am 100% positive will not help her. So I'd appreciate your cooperation with this. I wish you the best of luck in everything you do.

[robkris8079]

Her message: "I don't know why you can't say hello to me"

 

again what I thought of replying:

 

Hello. We talked about this during our relationship. I don't stay friends with ex's. I don't hate you, I'm not mad at you, I'm not anything toward you or too you. Just let it all go. I'm doing my own thing as you are yours. We had a good run at it for 5 years but now it's time to just leave it at that.

[DuchessKaye]

Oh really? You guys doing so well and staying strong in your relationship?

I heard from common friends that's what you both posted on your facebook statuses.

Then why the hell you're still contacting me and trying to get me back?

But anyways, too late for you buddy, where were you when I needed you???

2 years of being apart is long enough for me to recover and I have already made progress that I don't want you to ruin! Stay away from me!

[CopingGal]

It's been over 3 weeks since I broke NC to tell you about the disgust I have for you. I feel better now...more calm. I truly, truly feel sorry for you. Your life is a mess. You are a mess. You will never amount to anything, but a whore. I feel so, so sorry for you.''

 

I'm sorry you are a loser, but that's not my problem, that's yours. Good luck staying alive, I hope your medical condition doesn't kill you.

[coltsfan1]

really??? a text, thats a bit to little to late!

[SilverBlueAndGold]

I want to thank you for helping me get over you.

 

My initial sorrow and pain turned to confusion when you started drunk texted insults at me just hours after you left my place in tears. From there it moved into calm acceptance as you had given me a better idea of just how poorly you handle conflict and life in general. Then the emails, texts, fake Facebook page with my name on it and angry letters showed up the picture became crystal clear.

 

You have proven that you are not only capable but willing to lie and that is curious because your biggest complaint about the men in your past was always how they lied to you. Your claim that your last boyfriend stalked and harassed you holds no water anymore since you were doing the exact same things to me that you claimed happened to you. And since the public court records show that HE was the one who filed the restraining order, not you, I am not sure I can believe anything you ever told me.

 

Move on, find your next "soul-mate" that is "the first guy you could ever trust", fall madly in love with him then proceed to test, accuse, insult and push away until he wises up and dumps you. Then you can carry on your tradition of creating a whole new person out of him that you can lambast, a guy that was horrible to you, lied to you, cheated on you and is a big threat to you now.

 

Just like you did with me, and the guy before me, and the one before him...

 

I think you need some serious counseling and possibly some medication, and I hope you get it but I am also glad that I am not slogging through waist high mud anymore trying to be Captain Save a Ho.

[jennisfora]

i still miss you. almost two weeks complete NC. Friday the 13th after i received a fair sized fb message saying how you are better off alone, not dating, and guilty for hurting me, but not wanting to reconcile. it was a nice message, but the same message. you know i cant be friends right now, and i may not want to be. so, i sent you a very simple nc message saying i wouldnt contact you until i was ready and to please not contact me.

 

that caused you to send me 4 texts on my cell and you tried calling. more "attention" then i have received since the first month of the break up. next morning 4 more texts, then on the 17th, your simple text, "how long?" what surprised me most was how angry you were, that i sent that simple nc message. you were "infuriated."

 

guess you still have feelings for me, but they arent rational ones. i pointed no fingers, cast no blame. there was nothing in the message that should have inspired that response. the previous message was sweet and conciliatory, which is why you replied, no doubt. so, not sure why the anger, but i think i have an idea. it was because i took control and said, i am not going to talk to you until i am ready. having it on my terms made you angry.

 

i still miss you. i know you arent angry anymore, you just dont like rejection. who does, right? the how long text i was very tempted to answer yesterday. i had a hard time. the universe played a cruel joke on me, and my workplace hired a young man with your last name. he was a constant reminder that you are gone, even though you arent related, that i know of, not closely at least. the poor boy just had your name, and it was enough to inspire a crisis. so, now i know i am far from ready to be civil, and objective. i still have a ton of healing. i still have no answer for you. i know the silience hurts you. that isnt why im doing it. it is my turn to be selfish. you said you were selfish when you left us.

 

i can be selfish now to heal. relieving your guilt isnt my job anymore. i will try not to make you feel guilty, but i am not going to go out of my way to say what you did and how you handled things were okay. you led me on, for who knows how long, made me believe you saw a future with us, when i know you must have been having doubts. you let me keep believing right til the last day. i know it mustve been a hard decision, and you must have been stressed out over how i would take it. but it was cruel to reassure me that you would be there no matter what. it is cruel to be a father figure to my boy if you didnt mean to do everything in your power to make it work. it is cruel to tell me you want to marry me, if you don't. it is cruel to hold me close and tell me that you see a future when you don't. i am trying to forgive you for leading me on. i realize that it wasnt intentional. somewhere along the line, your feelings changed, and you felt you had all ready dug yourself in a hole. i am saddened that you couldn't confide your fears, in me. that you didnt trust me. i was open with you. i wish you couldve been with me.

 

i hope to someday be in a better place, where all this is safely in the past, and i no longer feel emotional about it. i do wish you well, i still love you, and i know you didnt want to hurt me. i dont know what the future holds, for me, or anyone else. but i hope you have a good one. *hugs & kisses*

[xenomorph]

going into 3rd week, no word from you, and that's a relief. looking forward to a full month of healing, and another on top of that. whatever it takes.

 

i hope i can get to know you again when we're both happy without each other, and neither of us know when that will be, but DO NOT contact me because your plans fell through. only contact me when you're at your best, because you sure as well wont hear from me until i'm the bomb-diggity again!

 

i don't need to deal with your baggage if you couldn't even handle my tote bag.

[IntoTheAbyss]

*calls stbxw*

 

Hope you've enjoyed the first 3 weeks of your new job. It's a shame you couldn't get off your ass while we were together and start working. Oh ya, that's right, you wanted to go back to school. Oh ya, that's right, you were a stay at home mom which meant the only option for change was divorce .. not getting a job. It's a shame you up and quit that good paying job you had last year .. when I was off due to back problems. That boss was such a jerk he said you got laid off so you could collect unemployement. Damn him and his $4 dollars in raises in 5 months! DAMN HIM!

 

Having fun going out now? Yeah? That's good. Good to know you can go out now, because before I would never let you go. Of course it had nothing to do with you constantly canceling on your friends to go for coffee etc, ya I know, I'm a controlling jerk who told you to stay home and play on the computer.

 

Speaking of computer, how's that guild doing? Still planning on driving 16 or so hours this summer to meet up with these guys? Yeah? Good for you, I'll be here with the kids while you are sleeping around with the guy you started getting involved with while we are together.

 

Me? I'm doing fine, yes, I'm still staying at home with the kids to make sure our daughter can finish the school year at the same school. Me missing work? Don't worry about it, you never had a problem with me staying home once a week because you had a headache, or didn't want to deal with the kids getting up in the morning. Guess you should have gone to bed earlier while I worked until midnight and you played with your little internet friends.

 

Oh ya, I forgot, these strangers aren't strangers, they're 'real friends' that you send pictures of my children to. A guy 10 years older than you has pictures of you and my kids, screw how that would make me feel I guess. I'm just the jerk who snooped into your e-mail to find the truth .. again.

 

When you come to get the kids, please don't ask me how I'm doing or how the car I had to buy and fix up is running. Hugging and kissing the kids goodbye is something they deserve, not you. So don't give me a snippy and snarky 'uh goodbye' when I walk away. I'm not being an ass, I'm not ripping you a new one. I just have nothing to say. Get over it.

 

Did you have a chance to look into that divorce mediator I told you I went and saw? Yes, I still want to just get this over with as soon as possible. Why is that such a surprise? How many times did you tell me you didn't love me anymore. Hell, I let you come back for 3 weeks after you left the first time for only a couple days and all you did was disappear at night and make plans to go on this trip without me because they didn't want me to go. Why in the hell would I not want to get this over with. Sure, I feel bad with how I came home and just flipped out on you, but you left me no choice. You expected me to put myself out there while you took your time deciding if you even wanted to work this out.

 

Miss you? Sure I do, it was 7 years and 2 children. I miss the person you used to be, the one who appreciated my open arms and undying acceptance no matter what happened. But over the years you stomped on that heart and tore the arms off. You couldn't let go of your past internet fling even after I worked so hard when we first met to get past those problems. Instead, you decided to keep in contact through the years and blame me for having to snoop to get the real answers. Now you are starting a new one, sure hope it's worth it.

 

The kids are doing fine, your week starts this Sunday. They miss you and our daughter asks why you never call to say good night when they are staying with dad. Should I really tell her what you said? That she can call YOU? No, that's okay. I'll spare my 6 year old daughter that heartache. Guess after your 4 day work weeks .. man it must be nice to not work Friday or get paid for it .. you are too tired to call the kids. Or is it because the guild needs your attention, or are to too busy data calling your old man boytoy in another country?

 

Yeah, whatever. Not my problem anymore. It's just fun to laugh at.

 

Although, it would be nice if you gave them baths this time around. 4 days without a bath is kinda sick. And don't tell me you didn't have time, you have 3-4 hours every evening with them. Those same hours I'm told you just sit on the computer while they watch TV with grandpa.

 

 

 

*click*

 

Bitch.

[DuchessKaye]

When will she ever figure out that you are just using her for money?

Is she really that desperate to keep you though it's obvious to everyone that you are just after her wealth?

You're too way older than her but she babies you all the time.

 

And now what? You were trying to get my number from my friends, and even trying to send me an expensive jewelries that prolly you bought using her money.

YUCK! How can you stomach that? You bettah put them inside your ass!

 

Like, DUH, seriously?

I think she's really the one for you...

The one that has to deal with your garbage...

[msfreebyme]

It's nights like this I feel at my worst. Which my worst is getting a bit better. The painful feeling of having to hang with couples and be that third wheel is excrutiating. But I can still take it over being chained down to you. I want my freedom! I wish I could just find at least someone to make me forget this pain you've caused me. But I know I must be strong. You probably don't give two ****s about me at all because of the way you treated me..you probably never did...which is funny because I was the one who left you. I want some sort of an apology...something. Is there no remorse from you?

I want to be fully free from thinking about you Monster and not have to go a day with you on my mind. You were like a drug...dear to my heart...but the worst kind of drug to take. I wanna cry...but you aren't worth the tears. I wish there was a way to get my revenge...but I guess the only way that'll happen is to move on and be happy.

Move out West and prove you wrong. I will find happiness without you. My love will find me and I can bet that he will be 5,000,000,000 times the man than you will ever be. And I hope you know Monster...I'm the one that got away.

 

 

If anyone on loveshack has ever walked away from an long term emotionally abusive, controlling relationship....give me some advice on how to cope. It's hard. I just need to talk with people who understand my situation.

[coltsfan1]

Well..... nothing new here, I hope things are going well for you. I have got to finish the house, someone has been messing with the garage code. I don't want anything happening to the house. Hope you had a good evening, I went over to my buddies house and a group of us celebrated his bday. Was AWESOME, just crawling into be alone wasn't. I wouldn't generally have to but my gal is out with her sorority sisters. Hope your night went as well as mine.

[CopingGal]

 

If anyone on loveshack has ever walked away from an long term emotionally abusive, controlling relationship....give me some advice on how to cope. It's hard. I just need to talk with people who understand my situation.

 

Yes, you can check out many of my posts. I dated someone off and on for 3 years. He lied to me throughtout the relationship, barely made time for me at all, kept me hanging with lies and false excuses because his life was so busy and when he got a good schedule so we could finally be together, he went after other women and cheated on me. There were big lies, little lies and just lies, and lies, and lies. Then after he did all that to me, threw the woman he cheated on me in my face all the time. Then harassed me so I would be his friend again. He has strong traits of antisocial personality disorder (sociopathy) and narcissitic personality disorder. He damaged my life immensely, made me physcially ill and di not care that he ripped my heart apart. He thought it was the right thing to do to get what he wanted and he told me it was worth it.

 

And then told the world on facebook he wouldn't change a thing. That is a brief summary to answer your question. My ex is sick...he's mentally ill but does not know it. He's a monsters, a compulsive liar, a user, an emotional abuser and an all around bastard. So yes, I know.

 

I know you are in pain. NC helps the most, also volunteer work, and school. Keeping busy has been very good for me.

[msfreebyme]

And then told the world on facebook he wouldn't change a thing. That is a brief summary to answer your question. My ex is sick...he's mentally ill but does not know it. He's a monsters, a compulsive liar, a user, an emotional abuser and an all around bastard. So yes, I know.

 

I know you are in pain. NC helps the most, also volunteer work, and school. Keeping busy has been very good for me.

 

Thanks for your help..our stories are very similar. The only part is that I haven't figured out yet if he cheated on me or not. I did figure out that he has a covert-agressive personality disorder (similar to antisocial) in which he can't help but to be controlling because sadly thats who he is. If he isn't in control theres caos.

It also started 3 years ago for me too. I had a low self esteem to begin with. I pretty much was easy for the attack. He wasn't a jerk until about maybe when I gave my virginity away to him. He had me for awhile...thats when he was the worst. Always calling me names and he would randomly smack me in the leg out of nowhere. I was scared of him. But at the time I was "in love" with him. He would have these blackouts if he got mad and would threaten to hurt me. He would leave me alone in his house and drive away when he got mad. The sad part is that I was the one who loved him the most out of any person in his life. And he would just neglect that. I left him about two years ago for four months and some reason he found his way back into my life to manipulate me back into his arms.

The next time I was back with him he tried to even convince me that I was controlling him and manipulating him. He would start every argument. Always tell me I ruin his holidays. Always asked for sex...and touched me even when I said no. This time...I smacked, I have even punched him from being so furious with him. I knew he was turning me into an angry person. I would get angry every time I saw him. Like an annoyance.

I just wish he could see that something is wrong with him...but I know he won't.

 

He even had to get the last bit of control by claiming I was stalking him. I was the messed up one. Oh and going and being a man whore too...which seems like a waste of my virginity.

 

Manipulative people....they are one hell of a ride.

 

Thanks for reading...I really do appreciate the help =)....I hope your healing is coming along well...mine is going good...I just like to vent on here. I know we'll all get through this...there's way better out there for us.

[jennisfora]

i still miss you. i hope someday we can talk and catch up, and that there is no bitterness in my heart and that we can be at peace. i understand sometimes the other person loses feelings and can't explain it. sometimes people need to be alone, and sometimes people need to fix their issues. i wish i could help. wish we could have worked it all out together. wish i knew what you were going through, wish i was a part of your life. but i know that i can't handle it right now. that i still care way too much. if you meet someone else, it would break my heart so much. it is better to not know. but at the same time, if i knew you were dating, it would be a quick wound, i would be healing. i don't do taken, ever.

 

instead we both remain in limbo. sometimes i wonder if this isn't some huge misunderstanding. i wish we had talked it out before making such a final decision, but, i know that morning i didnt understand. i couldnt compromise because i was in denial, i didnt understand what was happening or what you were doing.

 

i still dont. but, at least i can understand that you were doing what you felt you had to. and that you know your heart better than i do, if you arent feeling it, you arent feeling it. although, whenever we met, i could tell you missed me, and i know this is hard for you too. i believe that you believe that i wont accept anything else cept marriage, and that we can go nowhere from here. i am at the point where, i would love to have what we had. i miss it everyday. now i feel like a spoiled brat. wanting more when i had such a beautiful thing. why couldnt i have been happy with what i had? i let my mom and my coworkers heckling get to me, and pressured you needlessly. your family pressured you to back off too. having a close knit family can make things more difficult sometimes. neither one of us wanted to disappoint our families. when we should have just lived for us. i love you. *hugs & kisses*

[CopingGal]

Thanks for reading...I really do appreciate the help =)....I hope your healing is coming along well...mine is going good...I just like to vent on here. I know we'll all get through this...there's way better out there for us.

 

 

 

You are welcome. The first post I saw some from you- weeks ago when you referred to your ex as "monster," your ex reminded me of my ex.

 

This thread has been the most helpful to me. I have a lot of posts in this thread expressing my anger. My ex was very, very controlling, but he did it in a sneaky way. I did not realize how much my ex was controlling me until I got out. My ex was very agressive towards me but in a passive way.

 

I was very good to him, and he just took and took and took my patience. He's a patience sucker. He's a sick, cruel person who used and abused me and then tells me he is a martyr and a good person. He actually thinks he's a good person...it boggles my mind. But that's his problem and his new girlfriends problem. We have to celebrate being single and be glad we are smart enough not to go back to men like this.