Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[jdids247]

Can't say I'm over you yet, but I'm getting there. Hell, 5 months out of a 6 year relationship I didn't expect everything to be peachy right now anyway. I still get anxiety when I drive into town or go into a bar. I just hope I don't see you. And if I do, I don't know how the hell I'll act.

 

I was talking to a friend and he says he still loves his ex of 7 years and they ended it about a year ago. I think I'm doing better than him. Do I love you still? I guess I don't know. Do I still care? You damn right I do. I can still remember dates of when things went down like it was yesterday.

 

I'm still bitter about how everything went down though. I still think you cheated. You were so distant about those two friends of yours and your stories never matched up. I know I was acting like an interrogator but I shouldn't have to wonder who my fiance is talking to at 3 in the morning and where she is when she doesn't come home.

 

Oh well...I know I can't turn off feelings like you can. I wish I could act like I don't have a care in the world, but I do. I don't sugar coat anything to make people feel better like you do. I say it straight up. You, on the other hand, never have faced your demons. You drown them (well I do too, but at least I talk about them). I don't know why you hold everything in and don't talk to anyone about your emotions. It's not a weakness to cry or to talk. What's weak is sweeping problems under the rug. Eventually that pile gets big enough to where you trip on those problems. That's what happened to us...we tripped over them because you didn't want to talk or put in the effort.

 

They say sometimes love isn't enough...well that's exactly right. I put my entire heart into this relationship and it wasn't enough for you to save it.

 

I wish you didn't get yourself into these risky situations. You know you were asking for trouble when you did. There's no way I would have gotten away with what you were doing. Granted you claimed you didn't cheat, you sure were getting yourself into situations where it was easy to do so. I never gave my number to any women...ever. You, on the other hand...well you know what you did. I'm sorry my insecurity got the best of me. I had a pretty good grip on that issue for years until you started to act the way you did. How was I supposed to act, like I didn't give a damn?

 

I wish you didn't act like a child, maybe everything could have worked out. That was my biggest complaint about you was your immaturity. That and you were turning into your mother, and no one deserves to be treated like that. Your mom is the reason for who you are. I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

 

I know you'll think of me. There's no way you can't. One day we'll run into each other and you'll be kicking yourself. The saying "The one who got away" will be all you'll be able to think about, and I hope you continue to ask yourself if it was worth it acting the way you did to me.

 

Hopefully you're filling my void in healthy ways, but I doubt that because I can't say I'm dealing with my loss in the healthiest of ways either. Well I can thank you for that trait that rubbed off on me!

Edited July 6, 2012 by jdids247

[Ponzzz]

I really wish I could tell you that im over you, but im not. When you came and picked up your things I told you I was happy and socializing/making new friends and the fact that you felt happy because of that made me smile. You told me that you hoped that you didn't make the biggest mistake of your life when you cut me off but what you don't know is that I knew that you need this time apart.

 

You talked about how you struggle with your depression and how it was hard for you to love yourself. You knew the entire time that I could see right through you and that I could see the most beautiful, warm-hearted soul behind those masks and layers. And at one point, I did finally get to you. During that time you were the most amazing individual that I had ever met, and you still are. Our connection was instant from the moment I met you and we still share that connection.

 

I hate the fact that you ran away from me when the time was convenient but I do not hate you for it. I hope you become a better woman and that someday you realize that you really did make the right decision to learn to love yourself again. Just because you went away to find your own happiness doesn't mean that you will never be with me again. I would like to believe that you would come back into my arms someday and that I could see the new, complete you. We all have problems, we just choose to deal with them differently.

 

You always envied about how understanding and how much of an amazing guy I am, even after our breakup. The fact that you still care for me so much shows just how deep we've bonded over this time. You don't even realize how much better of a person you have molded me into. For the first time in my life, you've made me feel complete. You have shown me that there is somebody out there that I can truly care for. I am not the selfish bastard that I was when I first met you. You have made a significant impact on both my perspective of life and most importantly my heart. I will take this experience with you not as a finished book, but as a chapter in this magnificent journey we call life. Lastly, I want to let you know that I love you with every last inch of my heart <3

[BigBear]

Yes I am paranoid. You get all pissed off because I don't believe you are working on a Saturday morning. In 7 years together you have never once worked on a Saturday morning. So now that you've left me and you're suddenly working all sorts of ridiculous hours OF COURSE I think you're seeing someone else and making up stories. I took you at face value and trusted you fully and where did that lead me? You left me! I didn't see that coming. So now I have no idea what is real and what isn't. You expect me to trust you, but I *did* trust you, and you betrayed me.

 

But you know...you getting mad at me tonight, pissed that I didn't believe you, I'm glad that happened. Because usually when people are falsely accused of something they DO get pissed. So at least I know one thing that is real. And at least I am starting to be able to detect when you are lying to me. When you laugh it off and call me "silly" then I know I am onto something. When you get really pissed that I am calling you on something, I know I was wrong. But at least I know.

 

I know I don't know the whole story, but I am getting closer to figuring it out. God you make me so angry, the way you turned all our lives upside down. Yes, I'm not giving up on why you did it. Screw you.

 

BREAKING MY HEART IS NOT FREE. See you in mediation on the 17th when we divide our assets and you take another loss.

[chuldasnow]

I was happy in my relationship with my boyfriend for 16 years. We are older and were both divorced with grown children, so I did not want to get married.He also has a stock market gambling addiction. Anyway, in March 2012, he quit his job, went to Thailand for a vacation, and married a Thai woman, and is staying there permanently. I recently found out that he had been skyping with her for 3 months and they fell madly in love/lust. She insisted that he had to buy her a house in Thailand (has to be in her name only because foreigners cannot own property in Thailand). He did buy her a $200,000 house, $3,000 ring and $6,000 of furniture. He also just spent $3,200 at a music store, probably bought a piano. He tells me he is in paradise and just so happy and madly in love with this Thai woman (18 years younger than he is). She has a 5 year old daughter that he also loves. His Thai wife cooks fresh salmon for him every night and they have planted fruit trees. I think she only loves his money. However, they are both getting what they want from each other. I am just sick about it and I am very angry that he is happy and I am sad and that now, at 63, I have to rebuild my social life. I can't stop wishing that she will eventually toss him out and keep the house and furniture. He will be penniless and realize he is a pathetic fool. Is there anyway to let go of my hope that he will suffer, suffer. I want him to be as unhappy as he has made me. I wish the coward only misery.

Edited July 7, 2012 by chuldasnow
typos

[chuldasnow]

I hope you still have the terrible Bad Breath you had before you left. My daughter asked me about your bad breath which radiated from your mouth. She wanted to know why your breath was so foul. I said it was from all of your medicine. I told her that your horrible smelly breath was a hardship for me when you wanted to kiss me. In fact, I preferred to kiss your clean (I cleaned it first), privates, than your stinking foul smelling mouth. You remember that I would brush your teeth for you and encourage you to use dental floss. Your Thai wife deserves to have to kiss your stinky mouth. Now I know that your foul breath came from foul stinky thoughts. Foul, devious, stinky thoughts. Evil, cesspool thoughts. You skyped your Thai mail order bride, "We are playing a dangerous game".

 

I know you were even skyping her while I was driving home from my daughter's house and you were in the passenger seat of my car. Boy, you sure thought you were a wise guy---a real agent 007, James (his name) Bond. I hate and you and wish only misery for you.

 

[[Thank you all for this most wonderful forum]]

[chuldasnow]

Don't feel so proud of yourself. Any bozo western man can get third world country mail order bride. From the time they are little girls, all they dream about is marrying a Western man who will buy them a house (in their name). Her childhood dream has come true. Your nightmare has just begun.

 

How does it feel to sleep with, and have sex with a woman who only does it for your money. You are paying for sex. Don't ever believe it is love.

I know from your skyping conversations, that she refused to marry you until you bought her a house. I guess she won you over with sweet talk and took away your suspicions. FOOL!!!! You are pathetic!!!!!

You deserve venom for a snake like you. Poisonous venom is all you deserve and all you will get.

I hear there are venomous snakes everywhere where you are. Watch out!. You never know when a snake will strike you.

Snake upon snake. That will be a nice show.

 

Don't think for one minute that I will let you live in peace. I will NOT. Until you express true remorse for what you did to me I will be relentless in sending Venom your way. You know what I can do. You have seen me take revenge on others in the past. I know how to do Revenge.

 

Are you so delusional that you think I care about being endearing to you. You can hate my guts as much as I hate yours. It will make it easier for me to get my revenge on you. I have spent too long feeling sorry for you, thinking you had a bipolar manic breakdown. Now that I know the whole ugly truth, I am free to let my anger RAGE. And you will feel it. You will know it.

I should put the entire pathetic text of your skpying on facebook. I will Not do this because, unlike you, I am a decent, moral person.

Edited July 7, 2012 by chuldasnow
typos

[msfreebyme]

YOU DRIVE ME INSANE! Just when I think I get a little farther I run into a memory of you. I can't stand that I still care for you...and how the hell do I love you. I don't want to Monster!!!! I want you gone so bad...and the pain you've caused gone. Whats worse is that I might have to see you tomorrow and all it's gonna cause is trouble or more pain. I can't freaking stand this!!!

 

You may think I didn't love you because I ended things but I did truly love you. I just gave you so many chances damnit!! Why are you stubborn....I gave it my all and you still wouldn't stop and listen!. I sure as hell never want to be with your lieing, controlling, manipulating, jerk-off, hypocritical ass again. But I wish this could have all been avoided....if you had loved ME enough to change. To not insult me, to not control my future, just make me happy and stop thinking of just yourself.

 

You are soooo frustrating you know what?!? You get the second chance most guys would die for with the ones they love (and you supposebly love) and you somehow **** it up. You could have walked away like a gentlemen but nooooo you had to get your stupid revenge and get a rebound chick and bang her and proceed to date her to help your ego....when you said you loved me. **** YOUR EGO.....you sure as hell got your revenge...I hope it has a huge backlash and pain.

 

Let us get this staight....I Still Love You.....you could never have the compasity to truly love me even if you thought you did. You broke my heart..I just bruised your ego.

 

FUUUUUUUUUUCK!!! Why couldn't you just listen to me for once in your life! We wouldn't have to live like this! I know you hate it! I very much dislike it...but love my freedom. Just YOU make me sooooo mad!

 

Its too bad I can never say these words to you!!!!

 

 

SOOOO **** YOU! For being YOU! **** you!

[DuchessKaye]

You definitely raised the bar for my standards. I wouldn't say anything more today. Period!

[Yoda26]

Going into the house we shared together to get some things while you are round your mothers and the only thing on your mind to do is to mow the ****ing lawn?! Are you kidding me? breaking of a 8 year relationship and all you think is to cut the grass?! Or get members of your family to do it?

 

Do you not realize how this hurts? Saying you do not have an easy ride of it either, your not homeless nor are you sofa surfing!

 

You left me and chucked me out, left my heart on the floor and torn it to shreds, my heart hurts so much and none of it makes sense. You were never supposed to of hurt me, you even promised but you have hurt me probably the most and yet you don't even recognize it. I hate you but oh how I love you so much.

[ihateslowjams]

Honestly, i miss you dearly. I never knew i could feel this way with anyone before. I was always guarded in the past and i never trusted anyone. However, you came along and convince me to open up to you. I did, but at what price?

 

It hurts knowing you believe I'm not good enough for you. Yes, I've made many mistake in my life which caused me to miss out on graduating college and moving out on my own, but I'm trying to resolve those issues. I could have taken school more seriously, but i didn't because i knew that was going to minimize our time spent together. Throughout the relationship, I've always planned things around us and how anything would affect us. You are the first person I've ever felt an attraction to and I've lost you forever.

 

Ive lost all of my friends and i currently have nothing going on in my life. I wish you give us another chance but i know your fed up waiting for me to graduate; You'd rather find someone else who already has all of the things you want in a man.

 

You said during the BU that we're just too different because you want to go out and experience new things while i want to stay home. That only happened the past few months because I've been exhausted with life. You knew the issues I've been dealing with, but you didn't want to hear any of it from me because its too depressing for you and ruing your good mood. I needed emotional support and you weren't there for me. In fact, you left me and wondered why you were with such a depressing person for so long, which hurt me.

 

I really thought we had a deep connection with each other. I really thought we had an uncanny understanding of one another. I really thought we were meant to be for each other.

 

It sucks and I'm still in pain. I do feel better than i did on day 1, but it doesn't mean much. I truly love you, more than anything in the world. I know that i shouldn't ever bother you with any form of contact because it'll just give you negative emotion. If i truly love you, i have to let you go if you believe thats the best route for you. I hope you find what you're looking for and find that happiness you dream of. I just hope you truly enjoyed my company during the past few years, but I'm sure you've forgotten already because you've always believed in out of sight, out of mind. this is my goodbye to you because we're both going to disappear from each other's lives from now on. Goodbye my love, i will never stop thinking and missing you.

[BigBear]

I am starting to forget why I loved you. What a great feeling! I did a list of the pros and cons of living with you, and another list of the pros and cons of life without you. And I realized when it was done that the list of cons of being with you were all about you, but the list of pros could apply to anybody. There literally wasn't a single thing in there that was positive that was unique to you. How eye-opening!

 

You, my (ex) dear, I think I am realizing you can be replaced! I'm still pissed at you for how you left, and especially for how this will affect Xxxxxxxx. But now maybe I can see a lot of my pain is more the hurt of rejection and the loneliness I feel more than it is my need for you in particular.

 

It's a great day and a great breakthrough. I hope when I get down I can remember this.

[Moonchie]

fuuck you...yeah, I said it, bitch. Fuuck you:o

 

That wasn't directed toward anyone I know. I did that for BigBear. That was directed toward the person that hurt him.

[toomuchtohandle]

first post...

 

i met you through my best friend. you came to my house for a few parties and we had a strange connection... and then my best friend invited me to your beach trip. it was last may and we never did anything sexual and you wondered what was wrong with me... but it was also your time of the month and thats not cool bro.

 

we never really asked eachother out... we just kinda became a relationship. its was a weird relationship. i feel that we were both introverts, but you are an extremely selfish person so you never wanted to do anything i enjoyed... and it was ok for a while, but.... it turned into watching netflix every time we saw eachother... 2 times a week... and it got boring, fast.

 

i felt like we never communicated... like you didn't care enough to want to communicate. you always ditched me when we were around your friends. on our one year we went back to the beach with some of the same friends. one of your friends just broke up with her boyfriend and you made it your top priority... and thats cool... but you got extremely distant... and at this point you got drunk and started talking about how you used to be a slut and how fun it was. like what the ****?

 

we get back from the beach and the next month goes by you stop telling me you love me and you started ignoring my texts and getting back to me at 12-2 in the morning... and then my birthday comes and you dont even get me a card let alone think about me, we hung out and you didn't want to do anything i wanted to do so we stayed home and i got so miserable ive been drinking every night since then... 3 weeks ago.

 

a week goes by and we break up because i feel like you dont give two ****s about me... and your logic is that youve been too stressed with your job that we never spoke about and your grandparents whom always wanted to meet me apparently but you never had the time, and that you couldn't handle fixing a "damaged relationship" that quite honestly was damaged because youre such a selfish person that nothing cared about me. you led me on for so long... just to lie to me about why we broke up in the end. you went out clubbing in the last month we were together and i never knew.

 

its only now i realize that i have my own problems too, and that yeah maybe i got clingy because you were distant BUT SO WHAT F YOU. your such a terrible human being. you even got so pissed that i deleted you on facebook... something that you never get on. like wow. really? i heard from a friend that you've changed 100% from what you were, like what the hell? i wonder if you feel that we were just f buddies like i do. i wonder why i care. i feel in love with you and it was all just a ruse.

[Follower]

I am seriously considering giving into my urges to contact you, the only thing that refrains me from doing so is the fear/knoledge that you probably wont be receptive at all to any form of contact.

 

I really wish we could just talk, about anything anything at all without any hopes/expectations of each other like we used to, but i know i ask to much as i doubt you will ever let go of whatever you hold agaisnt me.

 

Its because of this that i wish i never met you, the time we spent together was both amazing and terrible, i have only reminise on happy times now and that bothers me it takes the logical side of my mind to override this and remind me of the negatives, but it also takes my emotions to remind my logical side that no it cannot be solved as you hurt me in a way i never thought possible.

 

Ohh i need some relief today.

 

[CopingGal]

Another weekend is going by without you...hurray! Every weekend before I left you was full of stress, since you saw it fit not to see me on weekends and almost never contact me on weekends. With your pathetic lies, I'm sure you were cheating on me throughout that joke of a relationship we had. I'm sure that trash you met on the internet was not the first one you cheated on me with. I'm so glad I never have to deal with your lies...ever again. It's such a relief.

 

It feels so good that you are out of my life. Gosh. I'm so glad. Giving your heart to the devil is no good! I'm glad I figured out you were evil and left you. I think of googling you...but NO WAYYYYYYYY! I have no time for evil, depraved losers that scrape the bottom on the barrel so they can cheat on their partners. You are so, so pathetic. You are trash. F-you.

[Edtheduck]

I hate to admit it, but I'm still in love with you J

 

It's a shame I can't tell you this, or every other feeling I have.

 

This void needs filling. Bad day

[DuchessKaye]

Oh honey, I'm busy scheduling for my lined up dates and now I'm going to do some shopping. Will buy new clothes, bags, shoes, accessories, make ups, perfumes and some hot lingeries!

 

I'll post something for you when I get back, alright?

[CopingGal]

Oh honey, I'm busy scheduling for my lined up dates and now I'm going to do some shopping. Will buy new clothes, bags, shoes, accessories, make ups, perfumes and some hot lingeries!

 

I'll post something for you when I get back, alright?

 

Hi Duchess. I hate to say this, but posting and posting so that you can "talk" to your ex means that you are not over him. If you were, you wouldn't even be thinking about him. Please keep that in mind. It's not good to bring baggage to a new relationship. Be careful. Take care of you. But by all means, don't stop posting. But realize that the desire to say all of these things to your ex seems to me you haven't healed yet and therefore you are not over him.

[CopingGal]

Yeah, yeah. F**k you, you stringy-headed bitch!

 

 

:eek::eek::eek:

[Kaye]

You don't call, we don't have any contact outside of work but you try and KISS ME ! I don't initiate contact with you but yet we have stupid random meaningless conversations and as soon as I try to accept that you are probably seeing someone else or pursuing someone /something else you go and do this ? and why does everyone want to know what time I leave for the day? I go out of my way not to bother you or the people who I suspect are in collusion with you so why do you torture me like this...

[Edtheduck]

Today is exactly 3 months since I last saw you.

 

I can't believe it's been that long. I've done a lot of thinking, processing, tweaking in that time.

 

The outcome....I'm a better person now, BUT.....

 

I still miss you. I still love you J

 

I wish you'd open up and talk to me. It feels like you want to. Something is holding you back, I don't know what though. I won't chase, you know where I am, and how I feel.

 

It's hard without you around.

[coffeeloverx]

I miss you. I miss you so ****ing much. I feel like I'm moving on. I feel like I'm in control, but no, I'm not. I'm ****ing lonely, and it's not fair, it's not fair. I feel like I got the short end of the stick with this, I cried, I pleaded, I did everything to try to get you to stay. Promised you drastic change, I was willing to do it to. It was stupid, and then you go and have sex with me, say you want ot make it work, and then you say having sex was wrong and you left anyway.

 

What was I thinking?

 

I ****ing hate you, so much. My heart is not a toy. You didn't get to promise me that you'd always be there, that you'd never leave, and then go and leave. It doesn't work like that. I thought you loved me,I thought you were the one.

 

In between all of this, I hate how I still love you. I hate how there are still times, even though I feel like i've moved on, where the only thing I want is you. The only thing that I want more than anything is to lie in bed next to you and just cuddle and watch bad TV. I miss you so god damn much, it hurts.

 

I am lonely, hurt and so confused. My life is so confusing and the one part I thought would be there is gone. So thank you. I appreciate it.

 

I just really, really miss you.

 

(Thank god I have somewhere to put this, it's early in the morning and I miss my ex and I was going to email this to him, but that would've been a bad idea. Much thanks to this thread!)

[Ang.gg]

I'm so stupid!!

 

But first let me say that all of last week was a better week for me. When I did think of you it was more with indifference. I only had a couple of sad moments. Bonus? I was sleeping better. I wasn't laying awake at night thinking of you.

 

But then!! Then! You had to go and message me yesterday about a position your mom had available in her office doing admin work? When I asked more about it you said she was asking where to post it to? I'm so STUPID because I didn't realize it until 2am while I was lying there awake that it was your excuse to talk to me! WTH! She's the office manager! Don't they have a hiring department?? Not only that but she's been doing this for years. She knows how to get the position out there!! And then!!!!? You proceed to take offense at my responses as if I wasn't interested. I apologized to you!! I've always done the apologizing dammit. Why is it so hard for you? So not only did I apologize 3 times about the confusion in the end you still didn't give me your moms email address.

 

To boot you even asked if the work dh was doing for you was coming along. After all the grief you gave me then you had the nerve to ask me for help getting answers about the work you're requesting to get done by Tuesday? What was my response? I obliged you. I got you the answers you were seeking. I wasnt a bītćh about it.

________

 

Stop playing games will you? If you miss me you don't have to look for a reason to talk to me. Just say so. I miss you too. I miss your company but I realized it was always about you. Instead of being a give and take relationship it was always take, take and take. Instead of responding you ran away when I reached out to you so I gave up because there was no other choice. I need to move on and I am

[Thisisbs]

You don't know how it feels to be told you're loved and leave the next day

 

You don't know how it feels to watch you love someone else, be happy, even when you told me there was no one else, when you were with them the very next weekend.

 

You don't know how it feels to wake up every morning and have to face this all over again.

 

You don't know how it feels to hear you talking behind my back about "him".

 

You don't know how it feels to be played like a game.

 

You don't know how it feels at all.

 

Stop pretending like you do, because you haven't felt like this before.

[CopingGal]

You used summer time as an excuse to run around and do things behind my back. While I was at home suffering, SUFFERING from the rejection you inflicted on me, you bragged to me that you were having a GREAT summer. You tried to make me think that I was over-sensitive and clingy while all the while you were laughing behind my back with the woman you cheated on me with.

 

When I ask you why did you do those things to me, you said "I don't know."

 

You immaturity reaches levels like I've never seen in an adult before. It's mind-boggling. You saw how upset I was when you threw your up coming marriage in my face to that woman you cheated on me with, a woman you proposed to after only 3 months after our break up and 4 months after first dating her. You laughed at my pain on the phone. There I was damaged...damaged, crying and you chuckled.

 

After all this time it still horrifies how cruel you were to me. You decided that once you came clean to be about cheating, that you could be as mean as you wanted to me.

 

YOu brushed off my pain, made fun of my pain, threw other women in my face and told me it was worth it to treat me this way. And then after all of that, literally tried to FORCE me to be your friend.

 

As the days go by I see more and more of just how sick you are. Thinking back what our couple's therapist said about you. "He has too many problems to mention."

 

Was it difficult to pretend to love me during those years? Was it hard to keep all of your lies straight? I wonder. I never dated a person that was that sick before. KNowing there's no well-known cure for you, or probably any cure for you...it's just so sad. Knowing that there is almost no chance for recovery...it's just so sad. Your prognosis being so overwhelmingly bad...it's just so sad. I hope your family sees how lucky they are that you rejected him.

 

I hated the fact that you rejected your father, just because he had a stroke and no longer recognized you. I put myself down for being so judgmental. I really didn't like the fact that you rejected your mom when she was cold and just wanted money for heat. I forced myself not to be judgemental. So many awful things you did and I forced my feelings down....down...down...down.

 

I don't have to settle for someone who is cruel to others and pretends to be nice to me while being cruel behind my back. I know it's not your fault you were born without a conscience. I get that. But that doesn't mean that I have to condone your behavior...your sick, freakish behavior. Your personality is the stuff serial kills and serial rapists are made of. And thank God you didn't try to end my life or rape me, although at times you exhibited pre-rapist behaviors.

 

You are a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. You want to be Hyde all the time, but it's not sociably acceptable, so you hide behind smiles, kisses, big words, the manipulation of words so you can say what you want without coming right out to say it. You are a coward. You are not strong. You are weak. You are sick. You are cruel. You are depraved. But most of all, you are unhuman like.

Edited July 9, 2012 by CopingGal