Sunshine09 Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 Reading through your message to him, my heart tore in half for you, seems like we are very much in the same boat as one another, there's just no describing that feeling of realising you've been used, constantly being pushed and pulled at the same time, its like your gut is in a constant state of turmoil, I haven't been as upset as I am now in my lifetime, for a week solid a day hasn't gone by where I haven't cried, the sad part is, it isn't through longing or missing her, its through the pain and the cold words that she said, they stick like a knife to the throat, I can tell your a lovely person just by seeing you try to comfort a complete stranger, someone as nice as that doesn't deserve what he did to you, we must remain strong and fight! if you need some one to talk to, you can count on me Thanks! and likewise I hear you on that. I am not sad so much because I miss him either, it's just how awful he treated me and the total lack of respect that kills. It really is a sickening feeling, especially because you would never do that to anyone, non the less that person whom you gave everything to. Link to post Share on other sites
Chronotrgr Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 Thanks! and likewise I hear you on that. I am not sad so much because I miss him either, it's just how awful he treated me and the total lack of respect that kills. It really is a sickening feeling, especially because you would never do that to anyone, non the less that person whom you gave everything to. Talk about drowning the self confidence, it cripples you completely, we must not allow it to dictate our sense of worth, that's the strangle hold I felt I was in and I think that's what allowed myself to be taken advantage of at time's, that and my good nature, it's like they see us as nothing more than toys they can play with until they get bored and then they want something else to do, we can't remain in that toy box for them forever, we need to draw a line and remain oblivious to their existence. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Chronotrgr Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 Seeing you back on Facebook dampened my day a little, I went on a 4 hour bike ride to clear my head and it did me wonders, it showed me how strong I am that even though I'm anxious and depressed, I can still break through the barriers in front of me, it was peaceful, the only part of me that felt numb was my ass from that stupid bike seat!. I'm glad you popped up as a recommended friend, it gave me the chance to block you instantly, somehow I felt bad about it but then I remembered that I shouldn't, you pushed me away, it should be no surprise to you now that I don't want anything to do to you, the pain I felt was reliving those memories, the pictures and the comments I'd seen, it brought them all back to reality, no matter how much time goes by, I will never get over that, but I kept my mouth shut in case it hurt you, that didn't stop you jabbing and picking at me for everything about me and my life all this time, but no matter, you can't do that anymore. If nothing else, I won't fall out with you, I won't shout at you or call you names or even look the other way should you look in my direction, I haven't got it in me to do that, I'd hate myself for treating anyone in a way that I wouldn't want to be treated, I never want to say anything again that I can't take back. My heart is telling me that if you want me again, your the one who has to fight, the effort has to come from you, if you want me to ever be a part of your life in any way your the one who has to reach out and sincerely apologise for what you've put me through, but my mind is telling me to walk away for good because nobody deserves to feel worse on the day of their nan's funeral, nobody deserves to be yelled at, woken up, dumped and thrown out, that's something that will live long in the memory as one of the most hurtful things anyone could possibly put me through. You made the whole grieving process up until now even harder than it should have been but when life gets tough, you seem to get tough on me as well and I can't ever remember you being there for me, that makes me feel overwhelming sadness, I don't know what to do, I know what I should do, I should close the door on you and shut you out of my life completely, I should do that, you couldn't hurt me anymore if I did, and yet, I'm a soft touch who will probably forgive you and repeat this process over again if I let my heart have its way. I loved you with all my heart, nobody has ever been so precious to me, nobody could ever hurt me like you do, and that's why I have to make the decision to shut you out and move on, its going to tear me to shreds but no matter what, from now on, it's no contact. Link to post Share on other sites
RightThere Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 You are one of the most self centred individuals I have ever met. Everything you do is just to be purposefully mean but you'll pull your victim card out at every opportunity to garner sympathy from what ever sucker who is within ear shot. I truly wish you would disappear and just leave me alone. Do not call and ask me to help you out with things. You are an awful human being and I hate that you still continue to affect my life in negative ways. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Chronotrgr Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 I wish more than anything this could have been so simple, I wish we could have met with you feeling for me what I did for you, rather than the round about of guys at the time, I wish so much you would have been there for me when I needed you, I wish so much that you would have shown that you cared, I wish you could have made time for me rather than have me fight so hard for that time with you, I felt neglected and unimportant, begging you to just take notice of me, I wished so long and hard to feel close and significant to you, instead I wound up with broken promises, continuously hurting me and going back on things, like the promises and the words were empty and meaningless. I've treated you better than anyone ever has, I gave you everything and loved you with all I had, I went above and beyond for you, I wanted nothing but simplicities in return, simply wanting to know for sure that you loved me the same as I loved you, I needed to see that, but it never happened, I hope one day you'll realize what you've carelessly discarded, I deserved at the very least to feel safe, loved and cared for, I asked for nothing else and expected nothing else, I wanted notching else, only to be a priority in your life. Right now, there are 2 people who passed away at the same time who meant an awful lot to me, the fact you choose now to disown me makes it clear that you just don't care for me at all much less love me, I only hope nobody ever puts this strain on you. Link to post Share on other sites
Chronotrgr Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 Feels so out of place going to bed without you like this, I lived with you for a long time, at least it seemed that way, I got really attached to you, I don't know what you expected from me for us to have wound up in this situation but clearly it was too much, I don't know how your feeling or how your coping, I guess I'll never know and I guess its better that I don't, hopefully one day I'll meet someone who will truly love me so that I may never need to feel alone like this again in times of need, the thought of someone warm hearted coming in to my life is what is keeping me going, I have a feeling someone really good for me is just around the corner, I'm not ready to meet her yet, but definitely one day, definitely, goodnight. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Throldur Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 Can any one explain to me why every time things are starting to look up.. she somehow makes her identity known? Every girl I've gone on dates with since, either live at an apartment building she lived at while we were together or has ties to where she's from. Now, I'm ready to start at college, have some social events booked for the next 3 weeks.. and her name comes up all over the internet, in my online banking, paypal accounts, auto-filling into all these fields when they HAVEN'T in the past 8 months. Go away. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dyna85 Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 Thank you so much for doing what you did. I really appreciate it. You made my life sunshine and rainbows and I'm so thankful every day for your kindness. I smile so much more than I used to and am full of bliss now that you're gone. Link to post Share on other sites
Chronotrgr Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 I hope you've had a good night out, can't say it doesn't hurt that you have it in you to go out and enjoy yourself like this, so soon after leaving me behind, maybe I'm just jealous that I'm not at that point yet and instead I'm stuck indoors playing Monster Hunter on a Saturday night, I'm actually a little surprised, I thought I'd be tearing my hair out worrying about what would happen now your single and on the loose, instead I'm thinking back to how disappointing it was that when you had a night free from the shackles of being a parent, I was the last person you'd wanna spend that time with, I wish simple things like that would have come easy in our relationship, I feel if they had, we wouldn't have wound up like this in the first place, but I shouldn't look back, I don't want to be the kind of person who holds grudges, I need to look forward and going forward, your not a part of what's in store for me, and you know, you really don't deserve to be. Link to post Share on other sites
NoMoreJerks Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 I love you. Despite everything. You broke my heart with your email yesterday. My heart is in a billion pieces. Listening to our songs that we used to listen to together.. crying... Link to post Share on other sites
Oregon_Dude Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 I've pulled about 5 phone numbers in last few days on online dating. So, this thing is continuing with or without you. This thing being my life, my libido, my interest in women and my insatiable desire to be with them, feel them, charm them, engage, interact, touch, kiss, f*ck, love. It was a week ago that you sent me that email about money, never betraying a single feeling you may have for me, playing your stupid f*cking cards so close to your huge chest, even though you know and I know that you miss me. I've made definite steps this week in retracing our relationship and the many selfish ways you acted. I'm no longer traumatized or uncomprehending of the way things went down. I've realized just how young you are and how impossible this thing continuing would have been. But g*ddamnit, I'm p*ssed at you for ruining our connection. We had something good and you chose to throw it away because you somehow thought that life would be better with someone else, or on your own. And maybe it is. Maybe you're having as boring a time as I am living without the person with whom you'd been speaking to and trusting and contacting on a daily basis for four months. But we both know there was something unique there, a meeting of minds, humor and sex, that doesn't occur in every relationship and with every person. We're both smart and deep and funny as hell. Do you really think your next person (male or female, I don't know, you're bisexual so you can have them all, I guess) is going to be as amazing as I am? No way. You suck for making me feel like I'm commonplace. Like you could find another one of me or anyone even resembling me within a 50-mile radius. Newsflash, honey: you can't. You won't. Someday down the line, you'll think back on the guy 9 years older than you who you broke up with when you were 21/22, and realize that he didn't beg, plead or "fight" for you, and the fact that he didn't do those things means he has self-respect and self-worth far greater than anyone you've ever been with or are currently with. I'm not the one who got away, I'm the one you let go, and you're a f*cking idiot for it. Connections like these don't grow on f*cking trees, and you're remiss to think there's anyone who will ever be simultaneously as patient and as self-knowledgeable as me. But the joke is on you, sweetheart, because one of these women I'm talking to is going to understand she's dating someone special, and isn't going to throw me away, because I'm rare and I'm priceless and better than any boy she ever got close to. So fffff*ck off, I know the truth, I know what you lost even if you don't. What I lost was a whip-smart, dirty-talking young thing. In fact, it's hard to think of many other complementary adjectives than those. You're replaceable in different ways, but yes, I will always miss some things about you, and you in particular. So good night, don't think that just because I don't hear from you doesn't mean I don't know that you're thinking about me, you're too scared to call me, you're afraid of being rejected, you want to win since you've always won and you refuse to be vulnerable. I know you operate from a place of fear. You always have. I've seen you and you cannot be unseen. Link to post Share on other sites
Chronotrgr Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 Reading the post above just makes me think back to how much you expected of me, I did everything for you, far more than anyone ever would, not even god himself could have matched your expectations, I expected things that should have simply gone without saying, you to be there for me and you to spend some time with me, I fought long and hard for something so simple like that, giving you the world all the while, I've done all I can, I'm sure now if I gave what I gave you to someone else, I would get in return the simple things I needed from you at the very least, I know one day soon you'll regret this and you'll come crawling back once again, only this time, I'm stronger and I know what I deserve, I won't get that from you and after all this. I don't want it either. Link to post Share on other sites
HandyMan101 Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 Hey H, I saw a pic of you yesterday. You were smiling the only way I loved you to smile. It killed to see you so happy. After all the memories we shared and all the rough times we got through together it amazes me you got over me so fast. I was undoubtedly the best guy you every dated. I do look back now and recognize where I could have been better in the relationship, being a stronger centered guy, not letting you get away with so many things I was not ok with, basically not putting you up on a pedestal you clearly don't deserve to be on. You are a lying, cheating piece of **** and took advantage of my love for you like a best friend that robs you right from under your nose. You acted like you cared but when I wasn't looking stole my trust, dignity, and respect without a care or consequence. At the end of the day it comes down to me though. I could've dumped you that time you told me about N, but didn't because sometimes people deserve second chances. You on the other hand did not and that is where I went wrong. Like they say you live and you learn. Repetition is the mother of skill and you have taught me beyond measure how to not be treated in such a way ever again. I love the good memories but they are over shadowed by the hate I have for you and what you did. I know I will eventually run into you and despite wanted to spit in your ****ing face and call you all kinds of terrible things I will keep my composure and act as if you are just another part of my past. You will never take my power away from me again. I will forget you. The memories will fade with time and you will just be a snap shot of a girl I once gave my all. Some girl, some lucky beautiful creature will be allowed to share my gift with her life in the future and you, you ****ing retard will be envious of how accomplished I have become, what I have made myself into, and who I surround myself with. You will probably end up with some average dope who will also unknowingly get taken advantage of and eventually you will feel it. That bitter lonely emptiness. Not when you are around your friends, or family or new lovers, but when you are alone, in your room one night staring at the ceiling and I will pop into your head because I gave a **** about you and some part of you misses that. It will haunt you and you will have dreams about me and that is it. Because you will never get to have me again. And thats the way it will stay. -K 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Samuel_22 Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 This one is for that mother**cker who left me with this pain Listen bitch, Listen, I didn't have the momentum to tell you this... Figlio di puttana, sai che tu sei un pezzo di merda? Hm? You think you're cool, right? Hm? Hm? When you used me as your band aid and kicked me out of your life... I tell you this, one of three bastards like you die of cancer, You know? *******. You're gonna be one of those. I don't have the momentum to kick your ass directly. don't have enough momentum for that... Fu** you. Die. Bastar*. You think you're so cool, hm? *******. And if I ever see your ****ing face around Well I'll, that time I'm gonna kick your ass. You're gonna die outta cancer, I promise. Bang bang, deep pain No one does what you did to me. You wanna know something? Fu*k you. I want your face smashed, eat ****. Bastar* Pezzo di merda, figlio di puttana. I hope somebody in your family dies soon. Crepa, pezzo di merda, e vai A sucare cazzi su un aereo! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sunshine09 Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 I really hate you a lot today I hate myself more for the way I let you treat me with so much disrespect and cruelty. I don't think you have a compassionate bone in your body, I don't understand how you go through life treating people so horribly and never having any remorse. I hope that it catches up to you one day and you get to feel the pain that you have caused other people. Maybe then you will actually think before you do the things you do to others. One would think that losing someone close to you would make you want to be a BETTER person, not a worse one. I don;t think I'll ever be able to understand. Link to post Share on other sites
BriNyc82 Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 I really hate that you continue to occupy space in my head. It's not fair that I have to live with this aftermath while you get exactly what you wanted. I never deserved any of this. I'm a good person who always treated you right and you know it. I don't know what will make you happy bc deep down you are miserable. If I couldn't make you happy then I really don't know what would make you happy. I just want you out of my head because I know I am out of yours. I don't know why I am wasting so much energy on someone who didn't care as much as I did, even thought you acted like it. You always said you hate actors, well you sure put on a good show for me and boy did I get fooled. I just want to forget you. It just wasn't worth the good times. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Chronotrgr Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 So I saw you tonight, I had to pick up my stuff, we had a nice open and honest chat, we cuddeled a little even, I nearly fell for it all over again, you wanted me to wait around till you was ready to start again with me, just what do you think that does to me hearing that come from you?, it ain't fair to say that when I'm trying to remain strong, I asked you to tell me you didn't want me, that it was over for good, but you wouldn't, you wouldn't cut me loose, you want it all your own way but this time, I wouldn't let you have it like that, I told you I gave up, couldn't do anymore and couldn't be around you anymore because of the pain you cause me, I didn't want or expect to be the one to put the final nail in the coffin, but I don't regret it, this whole saga needed an end so that I could finally begin to accept this and heal again, its too late for us, this time, I'm gone for good. Link to post Share on other sites
Oregon_Dude Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 I'm not over you. You are over me, I'm sure. I wish it worked both ways. You had the head start, though. All I can do is stay far far away, forever. I just have this creeping feeling sometimes that I KNOW you're thinking about me. I know it with every fiber in my bones, like you're trying to telepathically send me a message. I'm sure we all feel this way, but it feels real. I know he's with you, I know she's with you, I know you're getting your insatiable sexual needs met. But what happens when he goes to sleep? Do you think of me wondering where I'm at? I know, you think I'm at home, but check it out: sometimes I'm not. Do you know I have dates lined up? Would it make you jealous? I'm sure it wouldn't, because jealousy requires love and lust, and you have neither for me. Still.. I know you're curious. I know you're also angry at me. I know you've twisted this thing into a story about how I left you. It's bullsh*t. You're a professional victim. What about those days you were pushing me away before we broke up, those days you didn't f*cking contact me at all? Was I supposed to wait? You know g*ddamn well if I had treated you the same way, you'd be dead silent to me like I am to you now. I keep replaying things and wondering where I went wrong. Nowhere. I've done everything right, including walking away without needing to be told twice. If we're all a bunch of c*cks and p*ssies to you, then yes, I meant nothing. Because there are plenty of those out there. But if you wanted a good mind and pure soul, you've rejected a man who has more to offer than all of them combined. Stupid, stupid little f*cking girl. You think we're all the same, here to serve your changing moods. Go f*ck yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
True Gent Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 Almost 2 years since we parted and I still think of you and dream of you often. It's not through choice, I've tried to get you out of my system. I guess after 9 years with you, you'll always be a part of me. I matured while I was with you, perhaps more so now I no longer have you. I miss you so much sometimes. The dating I've tried always makes me wish I was sitting there with you. You aren't on a pedestal, I know your faults, but no one else as of yet comes close. I wonder how things would of been if our hopes and dreams had worked out. I wish I was this new improved version of me that I am now when I was still with you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ellie35 Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 I hope you are okay today. Know that I wanted to drop you a letter or a text or an email on this day. Why haven't you called me ? Why haven't you contacted me? It's been 60 days!!! They have been painful and anxiety ridden and I have missed you so much. I am getting stronger and I am enjoying doing new things and meeting new people. Please don't contact me now but feel free to contact me in another two months when I have totally moved on, you prick!!! Link to post Share on other sites
BriNyc82 Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 Please don't contact me now but feel free to contact me in another two months when I have totally moved on, you prick!!! ? roger that! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Calidude6 Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 Can I please break NC and ask her why she broke up with me for him? She left me for another dude... I just wanna know why he does nothing with his life. I don't get it Link to post Share on other sites
Ellie35 Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 Can I please break NC and ask her why she broke up with me for him? She left me for another dude... I just wanna know why he does nothing with his life. I don't get it NEVER contact her. It will make you feel worse if she doesn't reply or if you don't like her reply!! NEVER contact her again and give your power away! Eventually, it will get easier! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BriNyc82 Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 Can I please break NC and ask her why she broke up with me for him? She left me for another dude... I just wanna know why he does nothing with his life. I don't get it Maybe dating down makes her feel better about herself versus dating someone who has their **** together. Who knows why! All of us want to know why. But there is a reason in their head. Whether they want to disclose it or not. Do not contact her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Calidude6 Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 NEVER contact her. It will make you feel worse if she doesn't reply or if you don't like her reply!! NEVER contact her again and give your power away! Eventually, it will get easier! I know and I never will give her that power. Not going to contact her. Wonder if she will ever try to contact me again Link to post Share on other sites
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