Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[brokenheart789]

I wish you could see how great I'm doing after being so down for so long. You walked away from an amazing future. You showed me who you truly are. I never thought this would happen and you would be the way you are. I still can't believe that you moved on already, having her live in my home. You say you're not over me but still with her. Guess what I think I'm over you now. I have done so much in the last week and had so much fun. I truly feel free now. I'm so happy to find myself. I'm so happy with who I am. Work is great, I just got a publication, I'm working on research. I'm going out, doing all the things I wanted to do with you but we never had time for. I'm living, thriving. I have so much going for me and you are fool to choose to not have a future with me. I can't wait for you to feel the depth of your regret. I'm sorry that you turned out to be such a terrible person, yes you are that guy now, I also can't wait for you to really feel that too. Good luck living with yourself.

[drade]

S,

 

Haven't posted here since the 26th of last month. That's big for me.

Well, its over two months of no contact. I think about you MUCH less, most of my obsessive speculating thoughts have finally left my mind. That was a rough two months, guess I really did like you more than I thought.

 

I did come across a few new pictures of you online. You look, the same. It's weird though, I look at you differently now. If it was a month ago, I would have regressed so much seeing pictures of you. But now, I kinda just don't care.

 

It's been two months. You haven't reached out to me. You blocked me on facebook. Good move, makes it a lot easier for me to forget about you. Thanks for doing that. I really don't expect you to reach out to me, and that's a good thing, I don't check my phone everyday, or my trash bins, at all really.

 

iI've had several opportunities to get laid. Gone on a few dates. Turned down every single person. Why? Because I am perfectly content forgetting about you without having to get under other peoples skin. I've done it on my own, and will continue to do so. Eventually you will become a distant memory, like the rest of them.

 

I've progressed somewhat. Hard to say that you can "change" in a two month time span. However, i'm not that sheltered boy anymore. And, in addition, I gave up childish hobbies and habits.

 

I do miss you. I don't love you. I lost my love for you during the breakup, which by the way, was a cluster fu%^ of drama. It was your birthday the other day. And guess what? I didn't even realize it until today, and I am proud of myself for not acknowledging your special day and reaching out to you. So, I'll say it here. Happy birthday.

 

S, I made a very poor disrespectful decision. I did betray you. I've never hurt a partner like that, and I am so sorry it had to be you. I did not cheat, but your right, it was similar in the sense because I destroyed your trust for me. And someone who needs 110% of that commitment, I didn't give it to you.

 

However, this has been an invaluable experience. I am way more personal, outgoing, I even have a sarcastic side to me I never had ! I know what I want in a girlfriend, and am ready to give 110% this time around.

 

Hope you had a good birthday,

 

J.

[Oregon_Dude]

I'm really understanding that there's no making you happy. BPD gets thrown around a lot, but I'm almost certain that you are a borderline. The way you told me everything I wanted to hear - only to throw me out when you got overwhelmed by life.

 

Anyway, I don't have much else to say today, except that I think I finally understand that trying to figure you out is an exercise in total futility. You are mentally unwell. I didn't do anything wrong, except to get involved with you. Boy, you sucked me in good, in so many ways. I can't believe I feel for another borderline again. But I'm learning. And I've got a lot of life ahead to choose the right one. Your pattern, however, is set. I shudder to think of the 50+ men and women you have yet to destroy. Because they WILL be destroyed. They haven't dealt with your ilk before. I, on the other hand, know enough to understand that this isn't my fault. Nothing I could have done. I forgive myself for getting involved. I even forgive you. You're just a child, emotionally and otherwise. There is absolutely zero point in analyzing the actions of a crazy person. So, f*ck you. You're a soulless b*tch. Bye forever, don't bother me again, because I am recovering, and you never will.

[brokenheart789]

So today is a bad day for me, not like you care, you're happy with someone else. Tomorrow will be 7 weeks, who knows how long it was for you. I doubt you care I doubt you're keeping track. You broke my heart so many times. I hate you for so many reasons, you were a terrible person to me and I was the most important person in your life. I was the only one that loved you. After you left me you realized that you had no one, you say you moved on only after but it was probably before. You're disgusting. She's living with you now. We both know the chances of this lasting is nothing. I was all you had for over 8 years. Our 9 yr anniversary is coming. You don't care. You left just as we were to get engaged and married. You're so immature. I doubt you'll ever grow as a person. You wonder why you had no one it's because you are a terrible person. Selfish. I made you feel like a bad person by telling you what you were doing to me. I'm sorry it was so difficult for you to see who you really are. It'll keep coming back to you though eventually. For your own sake I hope you do grow to be a better person, because I know you, I know you won't.

[Felicite]

I wish I wouldn’t wonder what end this path you have chosen will have for you. Could you really be that insensitive and heartless?

What will the result be for you? Will it make you a worse or a better person? From what I can gather, it’s not making you a very nice person.

If only I didn’t care for you.

 

I hope this path will bring you back to me. I wish I didn’t hope, but I can’t manage. I fight with myself every day, trying not to care.

 

I‘ve come to hate hope, and that’s awful and so sad.

Edited September 10, 2015 by Felicite

[Hell Yeah]

You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don't try to forget the mistakes, but you don't dwell on it. You don't let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space.

Edited September 10, 2015 by Hell Yeah
update

[GettingOverItDay2Day]

Been a month since I found out you were cheating on me

 

Im actually glad that I found out now and before marriage

 

Be happy with him as karma will repay you one day

 

Thanks for ending us as I know it was for the best!

[dyna85]

You are so cruel for having done what you did.

I don't even know how to live this life anymore.

Now stupid sh.t makes me so upset when it never would have bothered me.

I feel like I'm walking on eggshells with myself now, due to my experience with you.

Feels like I can't cope with even the slightest hint of brush-off from anyone without feeling like I'm being pushed off a cliff emotionally.

I just truly wonder when the hurt will end.

 

Sure, I am responsible for my emotions, but I was a lot better with coping with them before you came along and did me so very wrong and left me hanging with no closure.

 

I just want to put this whole experience with you to bed mentally and emotionally, and not have it affect me in this way.

 

I'm coming to terms with the fact that I'm a forgotten member of society in your eyes and meant nothing. It's sad of course, but I guess that's the type of person you are. You just black people out and erase them from consciousness. Must be nice. Wish I knew that trick. Then again, I could never do that to someone. Particularly not if I cared. So that's how I know for sure you don't care. That's why I should be over this and emotionally stronger for it. Sad to say, I'm still a mess.

[StrangerThanFiction]

Today I thought a lot about the person I was while I was with you compared to the person I am now and the person I am trying to become. I really didn't like who I was while we were together. I was weak, self-deluding, and willfully naive. In the back dusty corner of my mind I knew exactly what you were doing. I knew you were living a double life pretty much from the beginning of our relationship and it continued on until the end of it. The sickening part of it is that I made it so damned easy for you to do so. Yeah, I really don't like who I was. Keyword: was.

 

The person I am now is shocked and disgusted that I let things get to the point they did--To the point of you blatantly disrespecting me, using me, and abusing me. I am sickened that the main reason I stayed with you for so long and put up with so much was because I was afraid of being single. Ha! Better single and occasionally lonely than in a relationship that was crushing the life, joy, and dignity out of me!

 

Anyway, I hope that if you ever get it in your head to contact me one day, you reconsider. For your sake. You won't recognize the broken, vulnerable, needy girl that I was when I was with you in the strong, confident, and selfrespecting woman I am now. Your head would explode from the awesomeness.

[Hell Yeah]

Dear Ex

 

Loving

Considerate

Generous

Thankful

Mature

Emotionally Available

Honest

Sincere

Respectful

Romantic

Strong

Giving

Understanding

Sympathetic

Compassionate

Positive

Decisive

Appreciative

Faithful

 

Ive sent you a dictionary in the mail so you can learn and understand the above words and their definitions as you shown in your actions of having none of the above

 

yours sincerely

 

Ex

[brokenheart789]

I just hate you so much for ruining everything we had and were building to. Everyday is still so hard but it's getting better. I hate that I still think of you. You still haven't even cared to reach out to me. I doubt you think of me. I know you stopped loving me a long time ago. There is no way you have any love, respect, or shred of basic decency for me after you did what you did. I get that now, you didn't love me, not the way I loved you. I see who you are now and it's despicable. You're a sad excuse for a man. You have no one because you're such a terrible person. Liar, cheat, selfish, narcissistic coward. I can't wait for this to come back to you in spades.

[Hipster_22]

Here is my story, have a read at it if you are interested. This post references from my situation.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/546694-i-have-lost-my-first-true-love-best-friend

 

This is an email or even a hand written letter I would have sent to her (she blocked me on everything, maybe email too but I'm not sure). I haven't spoken to her since the day we cut ties (8 and a half days ago) but sometimes I get the urge just to tell her exactly what's going through my mind. I am determined to move on though and wait to see if she wants to contact me first. If she does, great. If not, thats okay too, hopefully by then I will have moved on so it won't make much difference if she does or doesn't. My email/letter would go something along the lines of this:

 

 

Dear ****,

 

I’m not going to sit here and say that I have moved on as it has been so little time and it will take a while before I am back to normal again, but I will get there eventually. I know you better than almost everyone and I know that you will be trying to get on with life and forget about me but deep down you will be hurt like I am (you never deal with stressful/emotional situations well). You won’t make time to digest what has actually happened, you’re just going to try and forget about me and pretend I was never in your life and it will all build and build. And one day, in the next few weeks, it will all come out and you will be feeling really s****y.

 

I have had a long think about everything and I had a realisation. I gave you everything and in return I got very little. You would always put a spin on things for yourself. It was always about you, how everything affected you. You would rarely say how it affected me. I did so much for you, I sacrificed sleep when you were feeling down, I would stay up late night on the phone to make sure you were okay, I helped you with your school work whenever you needed help. Just some of things that came on the top of my head, I could go on forever. You relied on me a lot to help you with these things. The very least I could expect from my best friend is for them to be there whenever I am feeling down but you weren’t. You would just leave me and then text me late night asking if I am better. Yes the space was good at times but a lot of the time I just needed an arm around me for support. You were not there to support me. But I was so fixated on thinking that I needed you to keep me happy. I know you have had a lot on your mind recently but you’ve always been like this. Have you never been able to make time for your best friend, really? Do I not deserve any attention? It’s fine when things are going well but as soon as there is any problem between us you just freeze.

 

The most hurtful thing you did to me was that day in February. In case you need a reminder, I was mourning the death of my grandfather after 7 years and you argued with me and the only reason I can think of is because I wasn’t giving you attention. I know you hadn’t had a great day but I was really upset and that was the first time that I didn’t put your feelings in front of mine and you couldn’t handle it. We even spoke about it a few days previously and I didn’t want to continue the conversation. You knew I was upset, you know how much my grandparents mean to me and yet you still couldn’t handle not having my attention. You couldn’t just be considerate for once and actually try and be there for me. Instead you argued and argued and made me feel so much worse. Of course being ignored for all those months from that point didn’t help, but I was willing to forgive you and move on.

 

I get the feeling you took me for granted. You didn’t appreciate me as much as you should have, or as much as I appreciated having you. As the saying goes “you don’t appreciate what you have until it’s gone.” I understand you didn’t want a relationship at the time but that is no way you treat your best friend. All of this on top of all the other stuff you put me through for 8 months (ignoring me all the time, the mixed signals) and you wondered why I was asking if you wanted me in your life. What you were doing to me wasn’t fair and you should have been clearer with what you wanted.

 

Don’t get me wrong I made mistakes. I got too attached to you and maybe I shouldn’t have pushed you as much. I just wanted to know what you truly wanted and why you were ignoring me all the time. If you wanted space you should have been firm with that decision and we could have worked from there. Perhaps I should have stepped back and took the initiative and made some space for you, but I felt I was too dependent on you. I felt I needed you and I couldn’t live without you. That type of attachment isn’t healthy and I need to learn not to invest so much of myself into anything and not lose myself in these things. I need to learn that I am important too and my feelings matter also. I have my own ambitions and hobbies I enjoy and I shouldn’t have made my world revolve around you.

 

I know you said you didn’t want to speak to me again but I would love another chance with you. We both made mistakes but I have learned from my mistakes and if you do too we could easily start again and build those bonds again. What we had was special and I am willing to give it another shot. If you don’t want to then that’s fine too, I will not hold that against you. You have every right to make that decision.

[EO422]

Hey, I miss you a lot. I miss everything we used to do together. I miss hearing your voice on the phone. I miss sharing funny things with you. I miss your personality and your smile. I miss everything about you. You were great and I don't know why you had to leave me and go and do this. I am so upset. I had all these hopes and dreams. We were finally going to be so close. I would have done so much for you and treated you amazing. I am just confused and don't understand. I don't get how you could hurt me so easily. How you could forget about me so easily after we have invested so much time, after we have been waiting for so long. I am mad at you for what happened but I will always love you because you were my first love I wish you well in your future...I hope we can both find someone special. I guess it's just not meant for me and you...

[Arient]

It has been months since I was here, and I felt like I'm a totally new version of myself. I no longer need to go into this thread and push all of my remaining feelings for you into it. So, before I completely stopped writing in this thread, just want to leave a few words here. I guess next time, if I have to re-visit this thread, it's going to be about another person, my dove Thinking back, our break up really was and is a precious experience to me. I'm grateful for everything that happened, dove, and the time we had together, was wonderful, beyond words. I truly hope you will find a good person, and lead a happy life. I truly hope we will cross paths again in the future, and if it comes, I will get to give you a big big hug, as a thank for everything. Farewell, dove, my everything used-to-be.

[purpledooze]

Please don't reach out to me again. I feel hurt everytime you do. I'm trying really hard to move on and forget about you. You've already made your choice. You chose Kay and you chose to push me away each time. You cut me off for a month, told me I was the least of your priorities. You left me and your son to die at the hospital so that you could go back to your surf trip with her. I've kept you as a friend on Facebook so that people/classmates/friends won't think of you badly.

 

I've denied you're his father to everyone. I've denied anything between us to people at work. I've sit back and watched you deny our relationship with everyone. I've sit back and watch you pretend not to notice your brother, so that you can avoid introducing me. I've done all that you asked to protect you and your relationship with Kay. I've lost all my friends and even Brian because they can't stand me defending you and your actions. What else do you want from me now? Did you want to rub Drake's loss in my face by bringing up Gerald's kid the way you rubbed your relationship with Kay in my face at Rox?

 

I'm tired of crying. Please go away. :(

[CopingGal]

Howdy Worthless!

 

How are you doing, ya dumb-azz? Kiss my azz, you worthless piece of crap. You are taking up my oxygen, bytch! Screw you, bastard!

[Cupid's Puppet]

Why would you wait so long to reach out to me? Now you want to meet? Now you want to talk? I don't understand. You say you can't give me what I want. So what do you want to meet for? Oh I know...a booty call. Kick rocks. I am seeing someone else and want to see where it goes. You had your opportunity. You passed on it. But as the saying goes, you never miss the water until the well runs dry.

[Felicite]

It’s been a while…I don’t want to hear anything about you because it will bring me pain, yet I wonder where you are and what you are doing.

Are you happy with her? I think, you think you are. Will it last? Who knows. How can she possibly care more than me?

How can I possibly have meant zero to you?

Seems like I got all the pain and hurt, and you got all the fun and the new madly-in-love relationship. Who treated the other like trash? You did.

How can this be? Seems so unfair.

Everyday life seems meaningless, dull and numbing. I have no hope for the future. How will I trust someone again? Do I need to start hurting people to be as happy as you are?

You were the “bad guy” and you‘re in a place of complete happiness. Yet, when I do the right thing I always get hurt. This isn’t fair…

[jonesey0]

Tomorrow marks exactly six months since you broke up with me and one month since the last time we had contact.

 

After all this time, and believe me when i tell you i've never in my life felt so desperate and sad as i've been these six months, i still don't understand why you left.

 

How could you just walk away from everything we had, from the life we had built together, from the house we made ours with so much love, from our litte dog who was like a child to us and whom we both loved so much, from our dreams, our hopes, everything we planned for our future...

 

You loved me so much, you couldn't stand to be without me even for one night..

 

And then you just walked away, and never looked back. No regrets, no second thoughts, nothing.

 

For 14 years you were my life, i gave you all of myself, the only thing i really wanted in this world was to make you happy.

 

Since i started working, the only thing i looked forward everyday was to come home to you, to our house, to our life.

 

Now, i don't look forward to anything. I'm a wreck, and even though you hurted me so much and you put me through so much pain, i can' get you out of my head.

 

I just wish i wake up one day, and i don't think about you.

 

You don't deserve me. You don't deserve the love i had and still have for you.

[Oregon_Dude]

Hey, what's up? Just letting you know what I've been up to. Not that you really deserve to know, as you cut me out of your life, but I'm guessing you get curious from time to time. So, here it is.

 

I got a second job. At a movie theater. Pretty funny, huh? I'm the assistant manager. It pays minimum wage. I'd be bummed about that, save for the fact that I make twice that amount at my day job. Which I still kind of hate, btw, but I'm not going to make this kind of money anywhere else, not for a while. Plus, I'm working from home - as you know - so it's super convenient.

 

I finished my core courses for that thing I'm working on. I'm actually not sure if I want to be a counselor in that field, tbh. I'm thinking about going back to my old university to get my Masters in Counseling. Individual counseling seems to be the way to go for me.

 

I've been on some dates. No real sparks, except for maybe this last one. How's it going with you and the new person? If there is one. I must admit, it makes me a little sick to think of, but maybe he/she is a better fit for you. Where are you working now? I hope it's something you enjoy.

 

I've missed you, really missed you a lot. But when you said you weren't sure about this, it was a kick in the face, and going no contact was what I had to do to protect myself. I know that you probably hate me because of it. I don't really care, though. You hurt me a lot during our last couple of weeks together. I wasn't going to wait around in a state of anxiety to see if you wanted to stay with me or not. I get that things were tough when you moved down here, but so what? You knew that going into it. Anyway, it just sucks that I never knew what the hell happened between us. I needed more than you could give. So be it.

 

I got a new guitar. Electric. My first ever. It sounds great. You probably don't care, as you never really cared about my music to begin with. Lame. Remember how your ears perked up, because I'd written one about YOU? Yeah. That's how it always was for you.

 

I might start drumming in J's band. Which is awesome, since I LOVE, f*cking love drumming. And I'm now recording my third album with him. A long-term project is just what I need to keep my mind off you.

 

I know that even if you wanted to reach out, you wouldn't. I've rejected you once by not responding to you - I'm as a**hole, right? Never gonna speak to me, ever again? I figured. You and your g*ddamn stubborn pride. Whatever.

 

I'm not a mess without you. But I'd rather be with you than any of these other women. Yes, with your moods and all. There are lots of things I like about you. I'm trying to think of you fondly. But tbh, I think of you in many different ways, depending on the day.

 

Anyway, just a note to say that I miss you. Maybe through some strange osmosis, you'll get this letter. I have a feeling you'll be important to me for a very long time. I'd say I'm sorry it didn't work out, but I'm not actually sorry for anything. I wanted to be with you. You made me feel unwanted. So, that's that. I have too much self-respect to lower myself to begging and pleading. I'm not gonna do that for you or for anyone. I know how valuable I am. Even if you don't think of me that way.

 

I'll send you another note in a couple weeks, once more things happen. For now, please know you're on my mind, but that I'm not going to reach out. I'd only get hurt.

 

Bye, you.

[unluckycharms]

I wish you would realize how abusive you are, take ownership for your actions, apologize, and let me go. But you won't, so I have to learn to be stronger.

Edited September 17, 2015 by unluckycharms

[darkbloom]

I miss that someone used to do nice things for me. I thought maybe that was the same as missing you and maybe it is and maybe it isn't. The thoughtfulness in doing something just because you knew it would make me happy.

 

No one has done anything nice like that since you left.

[Oregon_Dude]

Yyyeaaaahhh, I know I said I'd write you in a couple weeks when more stuff happened. But here I am. Plus I'm writing to the internet, not you, and probably no one else in this thread will even read this. So there we are.

 

Went to bed last night with this odd resurgence of wondering. Doubting myself. I looked back on the timeline of everything - something I've done countless times since we split - as I'm sure all of us who were broken up with do. (Note: I fervently hate the term "dump". Dumper, dumpee, dumped.. just reminds me of putting another person in a f*cking Dumpster. It's gross and disrespectful and maybe I'm just sensitive to it because I was the one broken up with. However, if I ever broke up with someone - which I never have - I would never say I 'dumped' them. Ugh.)

 

So I'm replaying things in my head in bed, realizing that maybe you just wanted some alone time in this big new city. It was scary. You wanted to do it on your own. You were basically punishing me because I was the closest person to you. I'll never understand it, I'd never do it to someone, but you wanted to do this on your own. Anyway, you came to my show, told me eventually we'd talk about things. Then you proceeded to ignore me for two days. Didn't text me until I got ahold of YOU. And then it was just to say you weren't sure about staying in the r/s.

 

So, I went silent. Blocked and deleted you. What else could I do? You wanted me to wait around, right? Do you know how crazy that makes a person? I would rather be DONE than to not know. Why act so f*cking surprised? I'm sure I just gave you what you wanted, anyway. You were a sh*t communicator until the very end.

 

I know you hate me now. Actually I don't know anything. But I wouldn't be shocked. If you ARE a person with BPD, you HAVE to hate me in order to be right. But I know you think I abandoned you. Just like everyone else. Except, what I did was to protect myself. Your wishy-washyness and lack of affection, mood swings and fading love had been hurting me for too long. I had to go away. Don't you get it? And I had to not respond to your text TWO WEEKS LATER - because it wasn't enough. You never expressed wanting me back, you just wanted some reaction to know I was still on the hook.

 

Listen, I wish I could be there for you. It SUCKS that you are now in my city, as we wanted to be that whole time, and we can't even talk. I know that this is what we are doing: we are staying silent from each other because we are both too scared of being hurt. Do you know what it would do to me to text you and have you not respond? It would hurt in maybe the same way I hurt you by not responding. But, you have to understand, I didn't respond because you had hurt me too much already.

 

It's been six weeks out of a r/s that lasted not even four months... and I still miss you everyday. You are RIGHT THERE, and I can't reach out. Do you know that in my mind, you are still my friend? Do you know how much I loved talking with you? We were in on things together. We had secret knowledge together.

 

I'm not angry at you anymore. I don't hate you and I never did. I hope you found a great job. I hope you don't miss home too much. I hope you are happy. I hope you made some new friends. I hope you are dating someone new and cool, someone who you genuinely care about who you have sex with and makes you very happy. I don't want you to be upset, or miserable, or lonely, or sad, at all. There's nothing about you being happy that would make me jealous.

 

When you texted me that you really, sincerely hope I'm doing well.. I found it condescending. But I feel the same for you. I hope you are being treated well by him. Or her. I hope you are socializing and discovering this city. I am dating, but I don't want them. They're all f*cked up, even more so than you. I'm seeing my friends and working on my music. I'm doing pretty well, despite missing you still, more than I should and perhaps more than you deserve. In a way, you breaking us up has opened up a lot of room and possibility in my life. I'm getting my podcast going again. Drumming. Lots of things. I am busier nowadays than I ever was when we were dating. In many ways, you did me a favor. I just have no faith in love or women at this point, though. And maybe that's how it should be right now.

 

I want the world for you, even if you couldn't find it in me. Maybe it's because I'm intentionally in the dark about your life, but nothing could make me jealous. I want you to find your match. Just know that our time together made a huge impression on me, even though we're at such different stages in our lives.

 

What I am, I will offer to someone else, if they deserve and earn it. It was yours. I wish you wanted it. Now go find it in someone else. I promise it doesn't hurt me. I promise I don't hate you. I don't love you either, but I care for your well-being, at all times. I don't want you hurt, physically, emotionally or otherwise. Go find your happiness. I am letting go now, honey.

 

Good night.

Edited September 17, 2015 by Oregon_Dude

[Draper]

Hey. I'm not sure why I'm writing this or what I hope to achieve by it but you left me with so many unanswered questions and so many destroyed feelings.

 

I would have given everything for you. In fact, I did give my everything to you. I truly put 100% of my energy into our relationship, but I see now that you didn't even come close to reciprocating that number. And after everything, you just walked away like I was some stranger.

 

I don't know what's going through your mind, or what your reasoning was, but I do hope you find whatever you were missing with me. I'm not angry at your for losing the feelings you once had for me. I'm not angry at you for walking away, if thats what you think was best for you. I'm angry that you hung me out to dry. That you let me give you so much of me right up until the bitter end when you cut me off.

 

Remember last school year? I'd go through a full day of classes and still get in my car and drive through a snow storm to just spend the night with you. There were times when I got in my car in the middle of the night because you wanted me beside you. My point is - when you needed me, I was there. Every damn time, whether it was 2 in the afternoon or 2 in the morning. Whether it was a blizzard or sunshine, I was there. I always would have been.

 

I sat with your family and chatted for an hour yesterday when I went to pick my things up. If you were wondering, yes, I strategically planned it so you would be it work. Your parents and sister are truly good people and I hope you cherish the fact that you have wonderful family because it's not a luxury we all have. I hope you never shut them out of your life the way you did to me because if there's anyone on this planet that cares for you more than me, it's them. And you'll need them. One day, you'll realize what you walked away from and you will need them.

 

I'll never understand how you could look me in the eye and tell me you see a future with me, and not two weeks later your gone, presumably with some guy. No, I'll never understand how you could do that to me. The only two things I ever asked for in our relationship were honestly and loyalty. You gave me neither, and I pity you for the fact that perhaps your simply incapable of those things.

 

Hold on to the people that care about you. They don't come easy. I told you that you were my princess, and I treated you like that. Now, you'll always be the princess that got away.

 

You were my love, my light. Now the wick has burned and the flame is gone, and I move on. Without you, but nonetheless I move on. And I'll never stop moving.

 

"It's not love that hurts. What hurts is being hurt by someone you love".

 

Good bye, darling.

[darkbloom]

Hey a,

 

I'm still here and you're still gone. You linger on the periphery but you don't make a sound. I can't believe it's going to stay like this. You and I in a stalemate forever. Maybe our friends and family will eventually stop circling and stop bringing 'us' up. When do we officially become uncoupled? When do a and db go back to just being regular names? When does it scab over enough in my brain to go an entire day without a single thought of you?

 

My patience is waning but it's the only thing I know how to do.

 

I thought praying in a diffrent state would reach you better. Isnt that silly? I thought by being a state above you, you'd be able to hear my thoughts and my energy. No luck.

 

Goodnight a. Like you always used to wish me every night before bed. 10 months and not a single word.