Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[Oregon_Dude]

Good luck finding your perfect person, idiot. Newsflash: you are no f*cking prize, no matter what these sycophants tell you.

[Felicite]

exactly this

 

Good luck finding your perfect person, idiot. Newsflash: you are no f*cking prize, no matter what these sycophants tell you.

 

plus

 

I hope I’m the last person that truly loved you, that you get to throw away. All your other girls dumped you, I stayed through your every whim. No one else should go through this.

That means that you’’ll be left with people that don’t truly care for you, which I don’t wish for you, but ahwell you have your “buddies/brothers”. They ‘ll keep you going.

Especially when they 're living with their daddy’s money, stoning all day and telling you to go f*** other girls because I am too serious for you.

[Harradin]

Not an ex but a unrequited crush.

 

We'll see each other today, it'll probably be awkward. I hate that I have to walk on eggshells around you, especially as at some point its going to be noticed and I have to think of a excuse as I can't tell them that we aren't talking because I confessed how I felt about you.

 

I still don't believe that with the sexual tension between us and the way we acted around each other, you consider me a "close friend." If in the rare chance I'm right, it'd be crazy if we didn't go for it. Say something, before I give up on you.

[Harradin]

You came and said hello today then carried on your way, you were so cold and there was a completely blank expression on your face. I realize now that this is hard for you as well.

 

I promise, it will get better.

[seekingpeaceinlove]

The big ****ing difference between you and me is...that I have a heart. I forgive. I'm not christian but I show kindness even to those who I know have wronged me...especially if they've expressed remorse.

 

The big ****ing difference between us is that if the roles were reversed I would never treat you the way you treated me. I could never...for someone I loved or loved at one point.

 

Maybe that's it..maybe you never truly loved me.

[Calidude6]

After all this time of NC, should I say happy birthday to her?? I probably shouldn't.... She still has the dude she left me for, probably doesn't want to hear it from me :/

[brokensoul88]

This is the difference.. I loved you more and more with each day, although I already had someone, and you will love me less and less cause you met someone... what I dont get is how can you have feelings growing for someone you met just three weeks ago??? plus, she went and *ucked with you on night 1? is that really the type of girl you want to be with??? but I guess its so easy to be blind when you have your balls emptied a couple of times a week (as you told me)? really? thats how low you are.. going no contact is for the best.. and closing the account.. you may or may not have realized that yet, but you will, as soon as you decide to write me something.. anything.. dont think it didnt hurt me when I pressed the delete button.. it hurts like hell...but its for the best. I wouldnt want to be a witness of you falling completly out of love for me because of that *lut. excuse me. I m never such vulgar, but I do believe ppl who tend to do that are just that. you are probably not her first. maybe you are her 100th. and I doubt it will last long. but it doesnt matter. all you ve proven to me with it is that you are an easy guy too. you dont know how it is to be loved by a woman. its easy to fall for.someone you can *uck on the first date. try us. miles apart. never met. but still with me every single moment of my day. enjoy yourself. I truly regret wasting so much of me for you.

Edited October 5, 2015 by brokensoul88

[Harradin]

I spoke to your close friend tonight, I gave in after he pestered me. He told me that you'd never said anything about me in a intimate way, and guaranteed that you wouldn't change your mind down the road when I move on.

 

It was hard to hear, but it was needed.

 

Unrequitted love is a bitch.

[JFReyes]

After all this time of NC, should I say happy birthday to her?? I probably shouldn't.... She still has the dude she left me for, probably doesn't want to hear it from me :/

 

Naahh, don't do it. My ex's birthday is today and I won't, even though after 2 years post b/u she's still alone. I will admit that I'm thinking about her today (we were together for 10 years) but won't go any further than that. Tomorrow's a new day.

[pidgeon1010]

I had hope that my ex would find a new position and not have to move or want to try long distance for the short term if he did move. Yesterday, I inadvertently found out through a news article that he is heading up a new initiative for a company in a different state. We work in the same industry but I am on the legal side and he is on the business side and I was perusing industry articles and never in a million years did I think I would see his name. So with just one article I found out : 1) he finally landed a great position in a different state, two months ago, 2) he has obviously moved on without me. We are on different coasts now. I thought I was doing great after 4 months NC but I felt like I had been punched in the gut when I read the article!

 

 

I started to doubt going NC. We met to discuss reconciliation and he wanted us to think about it and get together again to discuss what a LDR would look like. He initiated emails with me for a month but at the time his job situation was up in the air so he put "us" on the back burner. I released myself from the situation and quit responding to emails. Should I have continued? Does the fact that I quit responding out of the blue make him think I was no longer interested? My mind is now playing tricks on me. I should realize that if he wants to be with me, none of this would matter. *Sigh*

 

 

After 4 months of NC and feeling better, I cried like a big baby last night and this morning. Sheeeeesh. I want the old me back. The old me before I met him! Even with all of this, I still have hope. That nagging hope that doesn't want to die that he will reach out again. Ugh. I am putting myself out there on dating websites and trying to move forward.

[Speirling]

So I broke the cardinal rule of NC and did it with a bang. We were always going to run into each other being colleagues and I'm surprised it didn't happen earlier. I did brilliantly and ignored you all night until you cornered me, and broke down. We spent the weekend locked away talking, and had a much better ending than before. We still love each other but it's over, at least for now, and I'm not waiting for you. I couldn't believe the mess you were in after months of imagining you being so happy and totally fine.

 

It's been great not to hate you and to understand you aren't a monster, that I wasn't wrong about you, and that there was something important between us.

 

But I have missed you all over again these last 3 days, my birthday, being at my aunts funeral and feeling that life is so short, and not having anyone to lean on or to help me get through supporting everyone else has been awful. My phone is dead, so that's all my phone photos of the last 2.5 years with you gone, which may be a blessing in disguise, but feels horrendous now. It's been a physical pull inside me to reach out to you, it's really amazing what the mind can make the body feel.

 

And then tonight, you email me saying that u read some stupid stuff about the world ending and that while you understand that I want NC to resume, you need me to know if you die tonight that you love me and you're sorry.

 

And it's taking all I have to not respond and ask you to meet me. It's as if you've somehow known how I was feeling.

 

I love you too, I always will, and I'm sorry too.

 

Sxxx

[Harradin]

I saw you out last night, I avoided you because I needed to for my own good. There's always been something between us, but I hate that you only see me as a friend.

[Speirling]

I knew that this would happen after breaking NC (not that you gave me much choice) but I can't stop thinking about you again. I know it will pass, I know I can get through it because I did before and I will again. I know NC will heal me and allow me to move on. I need you to stop emailing me to tell me you love me and you're sorry. If you loved me and were sorry enough you would be doing the necessary work on yourself to allow you to be in a place where you could have a functional relationship. You would also respect my request to leave me alone to continue healing and moving on. You're just trying to ease your guilt (which you should rightly feel). I want to reply. I want to talk more. I want to see you feel the impact of what you've done. But I know that I will just be kind and help you feel better. So while it would feel good for my ego to know that you're suffering now, you don't deserve the comfort it would bring - you deserve to feel the real consequences of your actions. It's not my job to comfort you anymore- God knows I had to get through the worst of the pain on my own.

A poster here says something like "if someone is willing to risk losing you from their life - let them" and that is what I intend to do. You'll never change if you don't lose something, and if I am in your life, you won't have lost me fully. At least now I know that you know some of what you've lost. It's just a shame you aren't inspired enough by that loss to do something about it.

There's no such thing as the right person at the wrong time. The right person is the right person at any time, and the right person at the wrong time is the wrong person. I know this logically, and in time my heart will be able to catch up. I'm better off on my own, so please leave me that way.

Sxxx

[Ace799]

Here is my story (which will link for those who do want to read it as would be a lot to post) http://www.loveshack.org/forums/general/general-relationship-discussion/550833-feeling-broken.

 

But I am close to breaking no contact for the 3rd time, the first time was after 2 days and then I broke on the 3rd day the second time around. This time it is again the 3rd day and close to breaking contact, although i'm determined not to (and feel this post will help) I don't even know what I would say to her if did contact her but am using NC to move on and improve myself as well as maybe trying to get her back, I know its a big IF but I know she will miss me one day down the line and if she comes back then she comes back.

 

Off topic but also seen her active on Facebook quite a bit today (I know its bad) and can't help but thinking she's speaking to someone else but that's just my mind wandering astray where its only been 13 days and if anything a rebound relationship might make her realize her feelings for me.

[Ace799]

I knew that this would happen after breaking NC (not that you gave me much choice) but I can't stop thinking about you again. I know it will pass, I know I can get through it because I did before and I will again. I know NC will heal me and allow me to move on. I need you to stop emailing me to tell me you love me and you're sorry. If you loved me and were sorry enough you would be doing the necessary work on yourself to allow you to be in a place where you could have a functional relationship. You would also respect my request to leave me alone to continue healing and moving on. You're just trying to ease your guilt (which you should rightly feel). I want to reply. I want to talk more. I want to see you feel the impact of what you've done. But I know that I will just be kind and help you feel better. So while it would feel good for my ego to know that you're suffering now, you don't deserve the comfort it would bring - you deserve to feel the real consequences of your actions. It's not my job to comfort you anymore- God knows I had to get through the worst of the pain on my own.

A poster here says something like "if someone is willing to risk losing you from their life - let them" and that is what I intend to do. You'll never change if you don't lose something, and if I am in your life, you won't have lost me fully. At least now I know that you know some of what you've lost. It's just a shame you aren't inspired enough by that loss to do something about it.

There's no such thing as the right person at the wrong time. The right person is the right person at any time, and the right person at the wrong time is the wrong person. I know this logically, and in time my heart will be able to catch up. I'm better off on my own, so please leave me that way.

Sxxx

 

Whoa its almost scary how similar your situation seems compared to mine. Obviously I know its not you because of the dates from some of your other posts but if you don't mind me asking what is your story?

[Speirling]

Not the right thread for it so I'll be brief ( sorry moderators!)

 

Found the perfect match and we got out of sync, it turned toxic. I didn't give him the space he needed to grow and change, and he became controlling and angry. We stayed together because we loved each other so desperately but ended up destroying our relationship, and causing a lot of damage to each other. After 2 months of living together post bu and hoping to sort it out, I left and started strict NC. My heart broke, I didn't think I'd survive, but after a couple of months I picked myself of the floor again. I saw him this last weekend, and he cornered me and made me talk to him. We spoke nearly non-stop all weekend. He's in a mess and is carrying around so much guilt and regret for the things he has done. But he hasn't managed to begin sorting out his issues, and I'm not fully healed, so as much as he still loves me and is very sorry, we'd slip into the old relationship which we broke, instead of starting a new one which could work, so I don't want to be together (as much as I do, obviously). I have done really well, but I also still have much left to do.

 

I read a few of your posts before responding, and all I can say is that it takes a lot of work and time to get to the bottom of these sorts of issues. I know this from my own experience with myself before this relationship. Until you can do that, truly, any relationship will be impacted, and you won't have a chance of getting your girl back until you've made some real changes and managed to be steady and stable for a while.

 

Don't break NC, and try to understand you need to work on yourself, for yourself. Anything that comes out of getting yourself straight will be a bonus then, whether it's her, or someone else for you to love.

 

Sxxx

[Ace799]

Not a problem and understand the jist of your story

 

Does seem like a kind of similar situation and don't mean in a offensive way if that makes sense. Kind of know that my ex probably feel the same way at this point in time because of what we had etc. Probably is why she's acting cold when have spoke to her and NC from her (which understand) Yeah I fully understand and see where your coming from and from someone who has caused that harm before would agree as well.

 

Yeah totally agreed that need a lot of work to fix these issues and have applied for professional help on Monday and accepted that done wrong and really do regret it so much (at this point in time haven't heard anything back which think is kind of weird but never done this before so don't really know)

 

It is very difficult not to at the moment (although don't have nothing to say to her honestly) Just hope that things will turn out for the best (know its probably false hope) but just doesn't feel fully over.

 

Also wish you the best of luck with your current situation and really do hope things turn out for the best.

[justanickname]

I am very disappointed with myself that I know you start to forget our 3 year-memories while I could not... You tried, I can see that, but yeah you do. How can I blame you? You are an illusion now, a far-away friend that I should not remember.

I have told myself many times, I don't need to contact you again. I thought I overcame it. Last night, seeing your message, I now knowing we have nothing left. For my own good, I have to move on. I do hope for some next time, I still can see you as a friend, regular friend, since this is one side emotion. It is hard, harder than I have thought.

I will find my strength to forget you with time. I know.

I did hope we can find another time to see again, but I don't believe it any more. I would travel to your place one day, I am pretty sure about it, but whether I contact you when I come? I don't think so.

I do hope this is the last time I write to you (to me, about you actually).

Air hug for the last time. Take care.

[TunaCat]

Now that the NBA season is starting back up, I know I'll see you at our team's games. We've loved the same team for 2 decades, so I know you aren't just gonna stop liking them because we aren't together.

 

I know I'll see you there with her, and I am going to make DAMN sure I look hot. Not for you, but for myself. Because I deserve to feel better about myself, especially in situations where I know I'll run into you.

 

I'll be civil to the both of you no matter how much my heart may hurt.

[Cora]

I'm sorry you felt like you needed to disappear on me and then lie to my face about the reason. For whatever reason you felt like I could not handle the truth so you told me you needed space because you were sick and dealing with your health issues. Instead you lost interest in me and was busy pursuing someone new. I just want you to know what you did to me hurts beyond comprehension. I loved you so very much and would have done anything for you. I would have given you the world if you had asked for it. I'm also sorry you had to pretend to like me. That must have not been easy for you. No matter how hurt I am right now, I still hope and pray that you don't fall in love with someone who hurts you like this. I hope you never have to endure this kind of pain. It's truly horrible. I'm going to miss you like crazy...I already do. I'll never understand what caused you to leave me or at what point you lost interest and found your new girlfriend. I guess none of that really matters now. Can't you see though that all of this could have been so much easier if you had just been upfront with me from the beginning? Instead you felt the need to tell me that you'd be back in touch once you got through your issues. Well I just want you to know that I know the truth now and I'm not simply sitting at home praying for you to get better and for you to hurry and come back to me. I know it's a shocker, but I'm not that stupid. You played me for a fool and I feel hurt, angry, silly, depressed, shocked and weirdly relieved. Relieved that I finally know the truth. I am still in disbelief that someone so kind, sweet, peasant and caring could do such a thing. But it's made me realize that that's not the type of person I want in my life. So take care of yourself and I wish you and the new girlfriend all the happiness in the world. I pray you will spare her the pain you caused me. Oh and about getting back in touch with me....don't bother.

 

Yours Truly,

Cora

[Draper]

I still have to wonder sometimes if I ever cross your mind.. have you ever cared about how much you hurt me? Do you ever look in the mirror and ask yourself what kind of person you are, to be able to up and walk out on someone who gave you everything without even giving them the courtesy of an honest explanation?

 

The first few weeks, I found myself asking myself what I could have done and why I wasn't good enough. I've come to realize, now, that when you said 'it's not something you did, i'm the one with the problems' you were absolutely right. I never once mistreated you and that's something I can take pride in saying. I was a good boyfriend, a good man. And when I come out on the other side of this thing, I'll be an even better man. I have faith that someday I'll find a girl who can reciprocate that, but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that that girl won't be you.

 

You tossed me aside like a bag of trash, with no respect or regard for me. I know you have a right to do what you like, and i would never have wanted to hold you back, but it's the lies and the deceit and the ghosting that disgust me. Maybe, in time, you will learn to treat those who love you a little bit better and in fact, i hope you do, because it will come back to haunt you one day.

 

I slept with another girl last week and, god, it was the most relieving feeling in the world to wake up with someone else in my arms. It made me realize that you weren't the be all end all, and there are plenty of other girls out there. One of which, im sure, will treat me in a way I deserve rather than what you did to me.

 

Have a nice ****ing life.

[Speirling]

Why would you email telling me that you couldn't bear it if the world ended tonight and I didn't know absolutely- that you love me and you're sorry? Apologising profusely for breaking NC but telling me that?

 

Do you want to reconcile? Do you realise you made a pretty drastic mistake? Or do you just want to make sure I don't move on too much in case you do decide to come back? I can't stop wondering what it means. I've nearly pasted it on here so I can get everyone's opinions.

 

I got everything so many people on here, myself included, dream of last weekend, short of reconciliation ( I don't want one, yet at least, I'm not over this yet and I'd just end up punishing you or expecting you to make it up to me. And you, my friend, are messed up.)

 

I'm obsessing again, I have hope again, and I'm really annoyed about it. You know I'll always love you, part of my heart will always be yours. I want you to email again. I also don't.

 

I know whatever happens now will be for the best, but I kinda miss believing you were gone for good and totally over it. 1 week of restarted NC. At least it's easier this time because I know it works, I just have to stick to it.

 

Ugh. I can't wait to have a relationship again, a good one that I deserve. I'm so far away from that now, and as long as I hold a wish that it could possibly be with you I won't be ready.

 

NC means NC. If you do love me, respect me, and understand that it's what we both need to heal.

 

I love you, I miss you, I hope you're ok.

 

Sxxx

[Harradin]

I'll see you tonight, I'm not looking forward to it.

 

I've had this nagging feeling for over a year now, that you feel the same way I do. But I've asked you out once, then told you how I felt over a year later and you turned me down both times. I thought telling you how I felt would get rid of my nagging feeling, but it hasn't.

 

Mutual friends have told me either I dodged a bullet, or they don't understand why we're not together, or they feel sorry for me and tell me to move on.

 

I'm finding this hard, but as soon as I find a new girl, I'll close the book on us and we'll never be together. If you feel anything towards me, say something before I give up on you, please.

[Ace799]

Today was a big step for me. On the train home from university I deleted everything, phone number, conversation history for both our texts and facebook, changed my phone wallpaper (I kept her on my facebook not to be rude and just in case she does want to contact me even though she probably has my phone number still) I won't be visiting your facebook and twitter anymore either as it seems you are happy without me and that honestly hurts a lot.

 

This is probably the hardest thing i'll ever have to do (as well as the BU) but hopefully this will stop me contacting her anymore. I will always love you, your the one for me and i'll never forget you but its time for me to move on with my life without you...

[seekingpeaceinlove]

I sent you a b-day card. You dumped me 2 weeks ago but I still sent you a bday card. I needed to send you that card...almost as a closure. I didn't send you a text or an email bc I didn't want to wait for your response...still I wait. I wait for an acknowledgement that you received it..that you don't hate me. I don't know why I should still care considering how callous you were with the break up.

 

I'm struggling really hard right now. I feel like crying every moment of every day. At the end of our relationship you put no effort into our relationship and barely paid attention to me...yet I feel the loss hitting me harder now than when you actually broke up with me. I'm left, for the second time, with no self esteem and a shattered heart. I blame you and I blame me. I can't get over the fact that you could be so angry with me.

 

I just want this pain to go away and right now..time is not on my side. Why is this getting harder to cope with as time goes by?