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polywog

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J,

 

Its Sunday afternoon and im just chillin in my room. Im trying not to look at your myspace but once again curiosity gets the best of me. You posted that you went to Seaworld and you wrote that it sucked cause all the shows were closed. Then you wrote C+J. Your mood said that you are happy with no problems. I know i should no longer be looking at your myspace/ Today is 11 days NC since i broke my 3 months NC. I will do NC until forever from here on out. I really hope that you truly are happy and are not lying to yourself. I spoke with your sis and she told me how your parents had a talk with you about not allowing your new girl in the house. Sorry J...but they dont like how u destroyed our relationship and just jumped into another like i was nothing. I dont understand how this girl makes you happy. Your sis said its because she does whatever you say and cooks for you everyday. So in other words you want a slave. Sorry you know that was never gonna be me. Im too smart J...you just cant hold me down. Im a woman that has a mind of her own and needs intelligent conversation. I wonder for how long this girl can keep you happy. If i know you well...you will start to get bored soon. You will start hating how you always have to pay and hate how she dresses. So when are you gonna make her your official girlfriend?? Youre such a punk!! You cant even give the poor girl a title. You are a selfish prick and i truly feel sorry for her at times because she has no idea how evil you are. Its going to be a complete shock to her. Oh well that will be her problem. Anyway...the holidays are on their way. I guess you wont be able to invite her to your house...but you will go to hers. Remember all the good times during the holidays?? Im gone J...you wont hear from me again. With Gods help i will NEVER contact you again.

Edited by angelface78
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N--

I was looking back through some messages we had shared together. When did you realize that I wasn't the one? Did some chick finally decide to be with you, and so you dumped me? I asked you point-blank whether you could handle a long distance relationship, and you told me that you could. LIES! The thing I can't understand is why you get under my skin even now? In the last week, I have met some really great guys, but all I can still think about is you..........that upsets me. These guys want to hold my hand, hold me close, and I can't let them, because I'm thinking about you. I'm just not ready to be dating again. I really just wanna call them up and cancel, because I'm waiting for you to call me, not that it's gonna happen. All I can think about is you with your arms around some other girl.

Why do I pine for you when I know you're not good for me? If we did get back together, how long would I be happy? My family and friends would kill me, I do know that much. How do you fall out of love with someone in the blink of an eye? How can anyone be better for you than me? I KNOW you. I'm your soulmate, or was that just more lies? Thing is, you THINK someone is better for you than me. How long will it take before you do the same thing to her that you did to me? I don't deserve to be treated like crap. I wonder if I'll even know what being treated good feels like. I hope to never treat the man I love how I was treated.

 

I'm loving myself these days. If I love myself, then someone else can love me. Unconditionally and completely. I deserve this. I loved you the same way I deserved to be loved. I only asked you to be yourself, and even then I felt I could endure that as long as you loved me. You didn't love me like I deserved to be loved. You pointed out my faults, in order to make me change them to prove I loved you, and I did everything you asked. I CHANGED for you. Doesn't that deserve an A for effort? It wasn't enough and you cast me aside. I have so much anger towards you, and I want to punch you in the face. If I see you again, I might actually do it. If I see you with a girl...........I can't be responsible for my actions. Sad, but true. You hurt me. Bad. I hope someone does it to you. And when that happens.........DON'T come crawling back to me. I'll be out of reach and way out of your league by then. I got thru 7 days without wanting to contact you. Each day is going to get much easier. You will miss me, you don't think you will, but you will.

 

I hate you for what you make me feel.

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rainbowsandkittens

hey.

 

well, today is 4 weeks since we broke up. not a month- 4 weeks. you know how i do that sort of math. :) i miss you so much. sundays are the hardest but i think of you every day- as soon as i wake up, during the day.... i wonder what you're doing and who you're with and if you're on a date. i wonder if the divorce was finalized and how work is going. i wonder if you miss me and think of me. if you wish i never left even though you left me. i wonder if you're talking to your ex, or the friend i hate, or the girl before me. something tells me you might have gone back to her. but maybe not.

 

this morning as i left for work i stared at the spot where you used to drop me off most mornings. i realized that you still pass my house every day on the way to work. is that hard for you? it would be hard for me.

 

i feel like there's a hole in my chest where my heart used to be. i know this was the right thing. i know i couldn't date you while you were dating other people. i know you took me for granted and didn't treat me well in a lot of ways. but i also know that you felt like home to me too. and that i haven't felt the way i felt about you in, well, forever. i know you calmed me and made me want to be a better person. but i also know how great a person i am. how funny and generous and kind and lovable i am. and i'm sorry for you that that wasn't enough. maybe you're meeting girls better than me. surely they're younger and prettier (though i'm sure they're not funnier) and whatever. maybe one of them will mean more to you than i did. i truly only want you to be happy. i want you to come back, but mainly i want you to be happy.

 

i wish you would call or write me but you won't- not for real. you took me seriously when i said we needed space. you have written me here and there but nothing important. mainly just getting me to acknowledge you. it's been a week and nothing. you should have been at my show on thursday. more than anyone else- you. should. have. been. there. i cannot tell you how much it hurt that you weren't. i looked for you the whole night. and part of me will never forgive you for that. there are other things i think will be hard to forgive you for but that's the top.

 

it sucks that this was so much of a timing thing. that if this was a year from now we would have had a fighting chance. but maybe not. maybe that's wishful thinking too. maybe this person that you're trying so desperately to be if who you really are. and i'm not sure how much i like this person. i like him cause it's you but some of it feels a bit phony. like you're trying too hard. and i liked who you were.

 

i want to hate you. some minutes i do. i wish i could let you go. and some hours i do. but it's not enough. it's been 4 weeks and i want to be over this. i want to meet new people and be able to fall in love again. because, like i told you, i deserve that. i deserve all the things you gave me and all the things you didn't. i deserve the world and believe me, one day i'm going to get it. someone will love me the way i want and need to be loved, it's just sad that it isn't you.

 

anyway i wish i could say this all to you but i know i can't. i wish i could be a part of your life again and vice versa but i know that's not possible. i just miss you. so much. but i know that it will pass.

 

love,

h

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hey.

 

more than anything else, i hate you. you disgust me. i wish you were never a part of my life. you naive, impressionable, backstabbing, lying piece of ****. **** you. die.

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things're weak 'n bleak lately. can't say if it's for you or other reasons. as i continue to feel bad, it's getting more and more ridiculous that i feel bad. which kind of makes me feel even worse.

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J,

 

When am i ever going to get over you?? I want to start living again. Im dead inside :sick: All the things i enjoyed are on the shelf. How is it that im dead inside and youre living it up with her?? Who the hell is this chick??? Why the hell did you throw it all away for her?? Nobody likes her...cant u see?? I need to get my **** together. I need to take better care of myself. I need to get the hell on with my life and leave you behind me in the dust....its soo hard. 5 years of my life down the drain...now i dont even know if i want to fall in love again. Love is a ticking time bomb just waiting to blow up in your face!! I hate you!!!

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Annoying Girl,

 

You rubbed the back of my neck today, I don't really know why. You always want to find a reason to touch me or get close to me. You always find dumb excuses to talk to me, then you pull away. What is it that you want? It's been about half a year since the break and thankfully I ignore the hell out of you. Sadly, I can't NC you fully at school, god do I hate school. Randomly seeing you in the halls or talking to people, I feel rage. Thankfully, it's better than before. I don't get panicky when I see you, and your presence means less and less everyday. It's actually kind of sad. To think that I used to look at you as if you meant the world. Now you're just another person that I don't want to associate with. At least I know that I did try, and I didn't do anything wrong. Your loss not mine. I'll probably see you tomorrow. You most likely will attempt to talk to me again. *sigh*

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The Blue Pill

N,

 

I found out not long ago that you are engaged! The part of me that is your friend is happy for you, but the part of me that loved you hurts. I hope that you have finally found what you wanted, and I wish you the best. I'm not mad or depressed, just a little sad when I think about the years we had together. It seems like everyone we knew is married already, and now you're adding your name to the list. I think I'll hold off a bit, myself. But you deserve to be happy, so congratulations, and best of luck.

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Northwesthunny

D

 

its been almost 4 month since you broke my heart for the 2nd time! how could you have so little disrespect for me that you would call me from afghan and tell me you couldnt do it anymore - after you had been asking me to send you stuff and planning things for when you got back! Its been 2 month since i made NC and it was so much easier when i knew you where over ther in the sandpit! Now i know your back and you are safe i keep expecting to hear from you, to tell me your back and you made a mistake but i know deep down you wont!

 

I hate you but at the same time i love and care for you but i know that i have to start to get over you! which is easier said than done¬

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Dear Ex-Partner,

 

I am SO sorry I don't even know where to begin. I'm sorry I didn't put more of my life plans on hold so my world would revolve totally and 100% around you. I'm sorry I didn't listen to your Mommy who tried her best to explain to me how very special you are and the standards of conduct that apply to other people don't apply to you. How dare I have the nerve to expect you to pay half of the household bills after you moved into my fully furninshed home? I'm terribly sorry I didn't completely bankrupt myself spending even more money on you to redecorate the home I set up prior to meeting you to suit your tastes. How dare I expect you to contribute financially to redecorate a place we were now living in together? (heh- not anymore!) How dare I continue to pursue my career while putting off moving out of state so you could pursue your own dreams? All of those extra hours I worked was time I should have spent at home with you admiring your specialness! I'm very sorry I took you seriously when you said you would replace items of mine you "accidentally" broke or ruined. The worst thing I did was expect you to be accountable for your words and actions. If you want to lie to me, lie to all of your two friends, and lie to your parents what business is it of mine? I'm sorry I asked the kind of questions that would make you have to lie in the first place. As you were quite fond of pointing out exactly what you did and did not deserve you surely did not deserve that from anyone- least of all the person you were calling your life partner. You're a truly special person (just like Mommy says- you're 25 but you shouldn't be expected to set up and maintain your own household!) and now that you have moved back in with Mommy (so she can support you just like she always has). The only way I feel I can make up for my many transgressions against you is to never have contact with you again. I wish you nothing but a very special life. I'm sure you'll get it- especiallly with me out of the picture.

 

Sincerely,

 

ME

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I've just seen but not read a couple of emails you have sent me. Why do you keep contacting me? I would respect your wishes if i rejected you but you just won't let me be will you?

 

You know i'd be back with you in a shot if you asked me but i dare not read them because my nerves are shot to ribbons! no-one has ever had such power over me before. I was with my partner before you for just short of 10 years but i never loved her like i do you.

 

You are the greatest girl i've had the pleasure of knowing, of meeting, of being close too but you are also bad for my mental health. I'm a strong laid back individual, i pride myself that i shrug stress and emotions off like the next man but i can't shake my feelings for you, mainly because i'm in 'love with you but also because you won't let me forget about you

 

If you want me come and get me, if you don't then do the decent thing and respect me as a human being and leave me alone

 

I love you baby and always will

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You've just text me!!! How did you get my new number?? I've avoided you for 11 days straight, not read any of your emails. I thought I'd nailed it by avoiding you and then you somehow get my number to text me!?!

 

In answer to your question I'm not doing great but I'm not gonna tell you that! I'm not going to respond, I already feel anxious, wtf!? Your out of order Amy! Just leave me alone to pick up the pieces!

 

I DONT WANT TO FEEL LIKE THIS ANYMORE!

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Hey dear, i really miss you. This feeling sucks. There are new people coming into my life, but i cannot seem to return them the feeling because it's still tied to you.

 

I cannot let go.

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I'll probably run into them in town because we travel in the same circles:

 

"Hey, F**** head, B****, you two look happy.

FH, you are nothing. You were my friend and co-worker and I trusted you with my life only to find out I couldn't even trust you with my girlfriend. You having nothing inside you the world needs or wants, so do society a favor and suck start your pistol. Oh I talked to your ex girlfriend recently and she told me a completely different story about how you two ended, than the version you told me. Odd. Which version did you tell B****? Either way it wasn't the truth. Who could expect the truth from either one of you.

 

As for you B***** you left the best thing that will ever come into your life for this piece of s***** and tried to blame it on me. You ended up with a circle of friends that are neither worth a dime and who have no honor. You should fit right into that little circle.

 

So, I suggest the two of you leave right now, before I forget what we do for a living and I put FH in the hospital."

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Dear ex,

 

so all this time, after our happy times together, you don't see yourself spending the rest of your life with me? I've been a great girlfriend, and you know it. Your friends know it, your family knows it, and I sure darn know it too. You tell me that you want to see what's out there. Well let me tell you this. You may find "better" but you know what? Chances are that I will be the best you've ever had, because you're a selfish man. Never satisfied with ANYTHING I've done for you. It's always never enough. No other self-respecting women will ever want to be with someone like that, and I sure learned my lesson. I am surely NOT staying friends with you, sorry, I'm worth so much more than the scraps that you've given me, SO SCREW YOU!

 

From me =)

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Here I am again, filled with doubt about how you feel. Am I just obsessive as some have suggested or do you bring out the worst of my insecurities? I love you and I know that you're not "the enemy." I wanted to give you all of me this time around. I wanted to convince you that my changes are for me and are lasting. I know that they are. I am a better woman than I was before we broke up. Now, we're back together...well, kinda sorta anyway. We spent a lovely night together. I felt so close to you. Now, you are giving nothing again. It's been almost 5 weeks since that night and I have not seen you. In church once while we were broken up, the pastor was talking about how love compels you to action. He was talking about our relationship with God, but he likened it to a romantic relationship. He gave the example of how when you're really in love with someone, it compels you to be with them and to look after their happiness. Your love for me seems to compel you to do nothing. I understand responsibility. I have been on my own, raising two children, working full-time and going to school for years. I have a tight schedule, too, yet I make time for what is important. I asked you how you deal with it when you're really missing me and you said you just work through it and you think of all the love we share. I've tried that. I have been extremely busy and kept myself even busier than usual during the downtimes when I'm tempted to get bitter about the time we're not spending together. When we got back together, I asked you if it was realistic of you to enter back into this relationship, if you really had the time to spend. You assured me that you did. Your actions tell a different story. I'm not saying all this to you because I don't want you to get the impression that I'm reverting back to my old habits. I'm not accusing you of not loving me. I'm just wondering when that love will compel you to spend time with me and look after my happiness. I'm just wondering when I'll be moved a few notches up on your priority list. I made mistakes in our relationship. I thought if you didn't do things my way, then you weren't doing them right. I came back into this with an open heart and mind to accept you and love you for who you are. I'm scared to say any of this to you. I'm scared you'll tell me this is all it's ever going to be. I love you so much and just want back the emotional intimacy we had before. I don't know if you haven't really forgiven me for walking away and so you're scared now to put everything in it. I don't know if you're testing me to see if I'll do it again. I love you and I just want to be close to you and to nurture and grow the love I know we have between us. I am willing to what it takes to work these things out. I know the issues we have are not so huge. I hear stories of people do truly heinous things to their partners. We haven't done anything like that. If it is just a time issue, I will wait for you. I am in intelligent well-grounded woman. Please trust me that I can handle whatever it is. What I can't stand is words that say one thing and actions that say the complete opposite. Communication must be honest. Be honest with yourself and be honest with me. If you don't have the time, I can wait, but I can't sustain on empty promises because that just makes you out to be a liar and makes me question how you really feel about me and about us.

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J,

 

Hey just writing to tell you i didnt miss you today. It feels weird. Not depressed today. I know i am making progress. I know one day i will be over you...and i know one day you will realize what you lost. What can i say..i hope you made the right decision...as for me...IM GOING TO BE ALLRIGHT WITH OR WITHOUT YOU.

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dear ex

 

i really dont feel comfortable having things in limbo, even though your non-action is enough action for me to come to my own conclusion. to tell you the truth, i feel ok actually, i'm actually pretty ok with this, however saddened, that for all that we had, i just hoped for a little more open honesty from your part. honestly, it's a lot easier to say we're moving on, instead of just stone walling me, i feel is very disrespectful and hurtful, especially for the last 4 months of communication, as well as our re-meeting. I've come to terms with the behavioural patterns and, i just know who are you, we don't have good communication, and i could go on about what we had, and etc, but it is all in the past, and anyway, we are different people now, i knew that seeing you again would just be rehatching past emotions which wouldnt necessarily translate into the present, but risked it because, well its you, but it was really nice to see you again as brief as it was. you will always hold a place in my heart, afterall you are my first boyfriend, ever, haha. I've learned a lot, which makes it all worth it. I feel like i tried as much as i could, and i really couldn't have dont anything more, i waited a year and a half for you, so if you did doubt any loyalty or sincerity, which had hurt you, I think i proved i would have loved you forever. However, as things stand, of course it would best for me to find a healthy, loving (reciprocal) relationship, which i am excited for, i'm eager to find someone to share my life with, and love, and for yourself as well, of course. something real, something unconditional, someone understanding, and hopefully someone you can open up to. I didn't want to wait too long to send it, didn't want it to be insincere. I dont except or need to hear anything from you, i'm sending this for myself. I feel that leaving things in silence cheapens our relationship, and i feel like despite the demise of our relationship, it was all i could have hoped for, it was a passionate loving relationship with someone who was my best friend... and i miss him, but we could never be friends, and i'll just have to let go.

take care.

 

j

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Back2dabasics

dear ex,

 

why did you lie to me? after we were talking and thinking about getting back, I had to find out you been having a boyfriend that past few weeks. all I can say is what comes around, goes around. i always defended you but my family and friends were always right and i was so stupid not to listen to them. they told me you were never good enough for me and you were shady and they were right. i was just blind not to see it. right now i hate you with every I got but you know what? I'm gonna grow from this and hopefully one day I will be able to forgive you and hopefully forget you. things happen for a reason. it is what it is. I KNOW God has BIGGER and BETTER plans for me and you aint it.

 

your ex bf

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You text me again today, i didn't, well I couldn't read it - it's still sitting there, I can't read anyone else's texts now otherwise I'll see yours. I'm not strong enough to read it at the mo

 

I've had the best day in ages today! Been on a bike ride & been to church, in fact I've been out of the house for quite a while - maybe the agrophobia is subsiding a little? Maybe it was just a good day, I don't know?

 

I'm writing to tell you I love you! I have never cared for another as much as I do you. There's a girl who I think is interested in me, she asked me out for a drink after church & I said yes ... I later cried out cos I can't, I only want you. No-one else ... Just you

 

been back to the gym again but can only lift half what I could before before we split. I'm aching so badly but it's nice to speak to the guys again. It's almost as if they know I'm broken cos they are being so kind and sensitive ... All these steroid muscle bound freaks actually seem to care? Wow!

 

Yes I'm in pain and thats why I can't read your text. I'm hoping these meds kick in soon, I've another docs appointment tomorrow @ 20 past 4 to up the strength of the meds. It's hard to let you go. This time last year we were in London watching a west end show. Every bloke was looking at you, you looked so beautiful, so stunning. I felt the luckiest man alive. I hate to say it but you were way above my league. The truth hurts but it's true

 

Anyway I've popped a sleeping pill, it's the only way I can sleep more then 5 hours now.

 

I love you Amy Burt, I love you with all my heart x x x

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So like a dumbass I decided to go and read someof your posts at the website where we met. Low and behold you talk about having sex with random guys helped you get over a broken heart. Yikes. I felt like puking. This is the woman I thought was my soulmate.

 

Sad thing is...it hurt to read those words...as much as I want to deny it...it did. Oh well...enjoy your STDs...I hope you used protection. Good bye.

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Dear Ex:

 

Hello: well I know you've clearly moved on. And yes, our little chat 6 wks ago where you poured your heart out about our need to "take a break"...so we could both recalibrate our lives and figure out what we both wanted, so we could move forward together, was clealry deceit on your end. In the end, you've disgraced yourself. I'm quite thankful you showed your colors when you did. Hell, I only lost a down payment on a ring. Imagine the cost had I not only proposed to you (like the plan we discussed just 2 mths prior), but the legal costs of what most undoubtedly would have resulted in divorce. Your 3rd and my first. If I never said thank you....let me do that now! THANK YOU! After a friendship that rivaled the sitcom "Friends", where we all hung out in the mid 90's.....you and I re-acquainted 2 summers ago, like we always thought we might? Of course, I never realized how damaged you would become since our innocent late 20's days. Our first year and half+ was pretty damn good. All of the confiding, sharing, emotional and physical bonding. My GOD did I think that was real! Oh, well....you've chosen poorly in your life, and now you've decided to NOT take a break ( as you were clearly lying and letting me down oh so softly right?) but rather you've gotten involved with a man whose ex-wife, was your former "good friend", right? You two were friends for nearly 20 yrs....you stood up in her wedding, right? WOW! Let's talk "taboo"! Now she can't stand the sight of you anymore, can she? Good friends are hard come by, for your sake, I hope this works out for you....I can't fathom ever doing something like this to one of my closest and good friends....the thought wouldn't even cross my mind. Of course, I pride myself on personal integrity and trying like hell to have good character...at the end of day, that's really what separates the good, from the bad.

 

You once told me that you never felt you deserved to be with me? Why was that, exactly? Is it because you never had a concept of a better life? One where you were actually treated with respect and were expected to deliver the same? Do you recall after making love, you would tell me how much you "needed" me and would I take care of you? Do you remember my response...yes I'll always take care of you...but I don't need you..."I want you"!!! Was your problem with me because you've never dated, been serious or married someone who wasn't a "project" guy? I mean seriously, you've been married twice, re-dated your 1st love, prior to our meeting 2 yrs ago, where all three guys, mis-treated you, the last one, you could never let go of....despite always telling me you were just helping him. YOU....always had to be the rescuer of adults in need! Truly sad! Just curious, who appointed you Ambassador to adults with problems, be it an ex's drug addiction and otherwise miserably existence or a friends ex dealing with abandonment looking for support from his wife's good friend? The former's alcoholism, drug addiction...blahblahblah....you know I never cared that you helped him. How can you ever move on if you can't let go of your past? Of course shame on me! I saw the warning signs after our first xmas together when you retreated back to your ex. What a fool I was for not heeding our mutual friends "warnings"! instead, a week later, I let you come grovelling back into my life, all teary eyed, begging for another chance! Do you recall me telling you, you're on a 3 strike count, babe...this is strike one! How dumb am I? Yes, Love is blind! In all honesty, someone of his sorts was never a threat to me. Seriously, how could he be? I actually supported you in July when you tried to help get him straightened out. Despite my support, please tell me how in the hell did you ever plan to move forward in our relationship while maintaining your "bff" status with his sister-n-law? Don't get me wrong, I loved her and her husband, but how many times did she drag you back into his life? Worse yet, you allowed yourself to be dragged....that's real disappointing for someone in an "allegedly" committed relationship? Maybe your new guy will stand a better chance since you've apparently cut off all contact with him? I'd like to say your new guy is the lucky one, but I suspect at some time in the near future, he will clue in on your depressive, negative and highly passive aggressive personality, and he'll show you the door. 90% of rebounds fail, and this one will not be an exception! Of course, since the 4 of us, prior to their divorce used to spend time together, I hope for his sake, I never see him in public! What must it be like when their 5 yr old returns back to his mother after visiting daddy for the weekend? I can hear him now, "Mommy, why does you friend sleep in the same bed with daddy?"

 

I guess at the end of the day, there's winners in life and regrettably, there are losers....unfortunately for the losers, the world punishes them the most, and clearly your're no exception! I've always known I was a few cuts above you....on a number of levels. Socially, intellectually, emotionally and most of all, the way in which I've always communicated with you. Of course, honest and direct communication about "us" never really appealed to you, did it? Instead, if you had issues, you lobbed text grenades at me....real mature! Seriously, how old are you? Oh yeah, your 41!...oh, I mean, approaching the 13th anniversary of your 28th b-day...my bad. Never could really let that time in your life go and just cherish the memories, could you? I used to pine for my fraternity days and my girlfriend always told me, just let it go, you can't go back...obviously....and I moved on! Of course, I was 24 at the time...WOW, you're so damaged!!! Truly sad! Unlike most mature adults, who move on to the next chapter, you just can't seem to let go...what are you hoping for anyway? Thanks for wasting 2 yrs of my life on what I believed was pretty damn good for 23 out of 24 months. You clearly never learned the communication lesson during all of your failed relationships, did you?

 

Einsteins definition of insanity....repeating the same things over and over, yet expecting a different result. What were your SAT scores again? Oh yeah, probably never took them did you? How could you? You lived in a household where your mother beat you down and never encouraged you. What's truly sad is that your mother, while good at heart, never made it past the 8th grade. How could she possibly value education? Silly question right? Not really...most people push their kids to achieve more than they did....not in your household though! Truly sad, you never stood a chance for a healthy life long-term, from an early age. I thought I could help you re-write your past mistakes, while getting you focused on what you always wanted....to be with someone who is clearly beneath me, and of course you..funny thing about you, you surround yourself with friends (the couple you actually still have) who are less than you...but are they really? Who knows....hey, as long as they make you feel good about yourself, knock yourself out!

 

Do you have any idea how awesome I could have made your life? What's worse is recently finding out that your friends while growing up, ridiculed and took advantage of you. That breaks my heart...your self esteem and self image, never stood a chance. How do I know this?...we share a lot of the same mutual friends, most of whom no longer associate with your current, closest friends. They did at one time, but like you, their true colors shown brightly long ago, and they too moved on. Come to think of it, who are your real friends these days? You really don't have any do you? I mean their your ex's sister-n-law....and then a couple of former subordinates who used to report to you before you were demoted twice in less than 2 yrs....attitude's a big deal, and clearly your up line noticed your poor attitude....such a shame, because I've believed you to be very talented. Of course, supporting you and encouraging you didn't really go too far did it? Not something you were ever used too!

 

Enjoy banging your former friends ex.....best of luck to you and the low brow guy you traded down for......wow....beyond the gorgeous face, hair and nails, you really have nothing between the ears, do you? How tragic!

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I don't even know how I feel about you anymore. You have tied me up in knots now for nine months. You didn't turn out to be the person you pretended to be. At the end, you turned out to be a selfish man out to protect his own interests.

 

You TOLD me that you were in love with me. You TOLD me that you wanted a life with me. You TOLD me that I was your perfect match.

 

Why do you consistently need to act in a way that is only about you? I have so much regret for opening up my heart to you. And now I have regret for being unable to completely shut it down to you now.

 

You have made me question who I am, my self worth, my value as a human being. I was broken to begin with and you just finished the job. I HATE myself because of you.

 

I know it's time to let you go. I know it's time to say goodbye to you. I know it's time for me to stop caring about your feelings and to start worrying about my own. It's time for me to take back my power.

 

I hope you wake up one day with this huge pit of darkness surrounding you knowing that you gave me up.

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