Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[CaliforniaSunshine]

Dear XXX

You hurt me more than words will ever say. I want to hear your voice--like last year when you couldn't stop calling me. When you loved me more than anyone on this earth. You loved me SO much you scared me. And now....you refuse to talk to me.

 

I pushed you away because I needed just a small amount of space. And you went to her. If you could have just given me a little bit of time our worlds would be so different today. But you wanted it all and you wanted it when you wanted it.

 

So I said no and three weeks later you ask her to marry you. You lost your job, your home is being foreclosed on--and you are very very depressed. I came to see you and instead of trying for our "one last time" you were on your cell phone the entire time texting "your mom".

 

I am a smart smart woman. That's how I got those phone records. And it CRUSHED me to see you called her over 100 times during my visit--while I was at the grocery store, watching tv, hell--even after we slept together---you called her.

 

And you told me it was your mom. WOW.

 

Then you tell me we have a chance. If I just leave you alone--you want space. But then I see you suddenly stopped calling her Friday. Hmmm--I knew you were with her this whole weekend--I knew the calls dont suddenly just stop. And yet you went basllistic when I confronted you and continued to say you were on a ski trip. No way. I don't buy it. I expect some time today I will see the phone records --when you get back home and you will be talking to her again.

 

I can't stop thinking about you and what I lost. I can't believe my best friend in the world could do this to me. Cause me SO much heartbreak. We were going to have the most beautiful house together, make super babies (our inside joke) and just live a life people dreamed of.

 

you won't answer my phone calls and simply screamed at me yesterday that it "was over" and to "get over it" .

 

Where did the good man go that I loved? Who in the world is this CRAZY fool? It isnt you.

 

And still--after ALL this CRAP you put me through. The other person I still more than anything want to be with you. That is what kills me. I know I deserve better. I guess I wish you would snap out of it. I guess I want you to WANT ME.

 

But you don't. You told me you love her.

I am lost and trying to find my way out.

God help me.

[professorTR]

I can't believe I made it through Valentine's Day without contacting you. I have mixed feelings: proud, for not giving in, but upset because it is just another reminder that you're really gone. I'm sure you had an awesome date with your new friend on V-day, the anniversary of our engagement all those years ago. I'm dating too, but I still end up missing you and the security of our old life. I just can't believe you could so easily dump me, then end up with someone else and not think you're rebounding, but moving on. I hope that you find yourself missing me now that we aren't speaking, but I feel that you're probably more relieved than anything. You're relieved because you cut this dead weight out of your life so you're feelings for someone else can blossom. I'm having trouble hating you, but you make me so furious. You left me in darkness, but you don't care enough to try to work things out because that would be "too much trouble." What kind of person can say that without feeling insanely selfish and holier than thou?

[CaliforniaSunshine]

Here I am again.

I didnt call you today. We talked this morning and you said if I call again--you will never ever speak to me again. Then I told you how horrible you made me feel. That what you did was WRONG. You were quiet and listened for the first time. Finally.

 

You finally apologized after I BEGGED for it. How pathetic of a man are you? You KNOW what you did was wrong. You still think you are right about everything. From leading two woman on---dating one and dating another---and then asking one to marry you.

 

It SICKENS me. I hate you for it. I wish you lived closer so we could get this over with face to face. But you don't.

 

SO---I talked to my family today. They said if I call you--you win. You would prove you are right. You acted as if I was REALLY going to keep calling. I want to--but I really will never call you. I am very very weak now---but I know I am stronger than I was yesterday. And that strength will begin to build and build and I will WAKE UP from this hell you put me through---and spit in your face. I will eventually want nothing to do with you.

 

You are not worth it. You are not a man.

 

Sadly--I can't stop checking me freaking email thinking you will contact me.

Still stupid. But not for long.

[Brokenlady]

I don't know if I'll ever understand why you ruined everything. Your lies, your duplicity, your apathy about my pain - I don't know how you could sit there and listen to me tell you over and over again how the things you were doing were hurting me and you did them anyway. Was it worth it? Did it make you feel good to get your needs met at the expense of everyone around you?

 

You fulfilled your own prophecy, now you're alone. But I am too. I am getting punished for allowing you back in my heart. I can't make that mistake again. It doesn't matter how much I love you. You will have a hold on my heart for a long time, but you aren't safe.

 

How will I cope with it when I see you with someone else? How will I deal with it knowing I wasn't good enough for you to treat me better? F*ck you for grinding my soul into dust. I'll be ok, someday - I think.

[ItsAllGoodAgain]

Hey Chica! I know this may seem ridiculous and unecessasry but I've been thinking about you lately. I understand our relationship was very brief and months have past since it ended. There's just a small part of me that misses you. It's not that I sit and think about things but every now and then I'm reminded of you. I think about some of the times we shared and how good I felt when you were around. The other night we were out and I saw a couple two stepping and it reminded me of our little two step attempt at the lake. The funny thing is I wasn't sad at all, watching them actually made me smile and chuckle. You made me smile quite a bit. I really appreciate the time we had. I know you've moved on and I don't want to interfere in any way. I just want to let you know that still think of you and wonder how you're doing. Maybe its because I have yet to find that feeling with someone else. Maybe I want to know you appreciated me the same way. I'm sure I'll never get that answer from you. I just have to realize that I was good to you. I was true with my feelings. I know with time these memories will fade and the thought of you will fade as well. Before they do, just know that I still care about you. I still think about you. I really hope things are good.

[Sadbutrelieved]

Dear bastard,

 

When you get your things back that you left at my house, don't eat the hot sauce. Bwahahahahaaaaaa

[Chitowngirl]

I don't know what happened over the last few weeks..but I'm over you. Finally. I saw the new pic you posted on your facebook, and wow you look cross eyed and ugly. I feel sorry for you. Why don't you come out of the closet already? You will probably be a much happier and less angry and hateful person once you admit you are gay, or at the very least bisexual. You are a manipulative weirdo who conned me into loving you. I thought you were weird as f*** and if you worked as a garbage man there's no way I would have stuck around. I can't wait until you have to tell your next fiance or wife about your disease that you kept from me for 7 months. I hope your next gf hates your ex that you're "friends" with too. I hope she ends up being a crazy flirt and you have more insane fights than we did. You were an ass to me and you don't deserve a nice wife b/c you treated me like dirt. I hope you treat your next partner much better, be it a man or woman!

Oh yeah, you have a flat bird chest that steroids obviously can't fix!

[worlybear]

Solicitor's letter today demanding contact with 8 year old daughter. Surprised you remember her...

Remember last year when you claimed you had done with family life and wanted to live alone?

So how come you've moved in and away with your s+++ and her 10 year old? Have you any idea how c**** that makes your daughter feel?

You couldn't even be bothered to see her over xmas. She knows that you are living with the s**** and her kid and she also knows that you have walked away from all the joint financial responsibilities and left us high and dry.

How dare you pretend that you care !!!

Good old British law means that you get to see her but she's smart enough to realise just what you're really like.

A decent man would have at least made sure that his family was financially secure-and no I'm not asking to be kept, just for you to pay what you legally owe.... but instead you've chosen to support another woman and her child.

I'll never forgive you for the trauma you've selfishly put us through and I hope that your life ends in misery and discontent.

We will survive this and smart 8 year olds know who to trust.!!

I REALLY HOPE THAT LIFE TURNS SOUR FOR YOU!

[cdt76]

Get the hell out of my head. I've spent the last 6 months trying to end the feelings I developed for you. I've been out of town for 3 months and for the past three months things have been ok. But now, knowing I'm returning home, knowing I'll probably see you and my ********* friend you cheated on me with around town, knowing I have to work with him, knowing I have to act like he doesn't exist, knowing all I want to do is rip his f-ing head off, the nightmares have started again. Yes, I still dream about hurting him. Yes, I still get bolts of rage flowing through me when thoughts of you and he together enter my brain. I force them out, I distract myself. I am tired and I am hurt and I can't even think about falling in love again. I might be ruined for the rest of my life because of this and for what? So you could get your nice big house in the city with a con man *********? I hope you both get cancer and die. Better yet, I hope you both get in a car accident and become paralyzed to live out the remainder of your lives without feeling your bodies. That is what you deserve. That is what would make me feel whole again because I can't physically hurt him though I want to with all my being. I hate being in the same office as he. It will only get worse. And when you two finally break up and crap on each other like you are bound to do...I will be there with a laugh on my face and the vile things I will say to him will only be a shadow of the pain he caused me.

[bluewolf17]

Dear X.

 

I thought about you today. I normally don't. I guess it's because it's early spring and it's sunny and I remember driving through the woods to your country house and it always smelled so good out there. And your house was so..homey. I could stay the whole weekend with you doing nothing but hanging around the house and cooking and listening to the birds with all the window open. I miss little things like that. I miss our long drives through all the little hick towns. I remember how you would tell me that I was your happy place. You always pictured me in the sun.

 

I'm really sorry I broke you heart, but you broke mine first. I'm sorry I led you on for a long time. I'm sorry that I allowed myself to be friends with you. I know you didn't want "just friends". I know it would hurt you when at the end of the day, I still didn't want to be your girlfriend again.

 

We were just kids when we dated. I was 19, your were 17. We had a good run, and we shared so many good times. I could never forget you, but I'm sorry that I stopped loving you. We weren't meant to be together forever. I wish I could go back, and just break up with you and cut you loose. I shouldn't have tried to keep you around, and vice versa.

 

I hope you are well. I know it takes a lot from you, when you send me random texts. I know they are well thought out. I know you don't expect a response. So I am sorry that I don't respond. I just know what will happen if I do. I hope you have found a really sweet girl that makes you laugh and makes you think. Truth be told, I don't want to know anything about her, but I do want you to be happy.

 

xoxoxo

Bluewolf17

[bettedaviseyes]

J, you come into my life at the worst points in my life. I don't know how you do it, or how you manage to still believe you're a good person. I try my best not to love you, but no matter how much I try, you do something that puts me back in square one. I'm so tired of this roller coaster.

[just1guy]

You know what, I finally realized yesterday that there are bigger things to cry over than you leaving me.

 

I realize now the similarities between how we met and how you met your current bf so I am starting to think if what we had was a rebound, but lasted 2 years longer than it should have.

 

You do not understand that relationships take work, and when we finally hit our firt true test, you decided to run away to go for the easy out, then to stay and work. When we met, you'd just been back in town for a month and our relationship took off pretty quick. Almost identical to how you got into another relationship after we broke up... So I'm sitting here thinking that you are a serial runner. You cannot face what is troubling you so you constanting look for someone to numb those feelings. The sad thing, is that you'll probably end it with this loser and then go at it over again...and I feel sorry for you.

 

It'll be pretty hilarious when he cheats on you or leaves you at home with his kids while he's out partying. I wish I could be there to see that look on your face.

 

Oh by the way, I kept the cell phone that I gave you active since the contract isn't up yet, and you're even more irresponsible that I remember. I got a call from your apt saying that your electricity was turned off without them knowing, and now your fridge is damaged! Ouch. I guess you're so into your new loser boyfriend and his two kids, that you've forgotten the simplest responsibilities. Oh, and your credit card company has been calling becase it seems you've forgotten to make that payment...for the past two months! How hard is it to remember to pay ONE credit card!! I can't believe that you're still too lazy to change your address from when you lived with me six months ago, so I am still getting your credit card statements, school loan info, tax info, and other mail, and guess what..it's all going in the trash..haha

 

Ah, and by the way, I have friends that are a million times more grounded than yours, and instead of giving me retarded "go get a rebound" advice, they've helped me become a stronger me. So you leaving me has helped me find my friends again. One of which has introduced me to someone who, so far, seems like a really good girl.

[Pentel]

dear o,

i heard you were watching me today at school, weeell, i don't look at you anymore : )

im getting a new girl and i get along with her faaaaaaaaar better than with you

aand im getting along pretty well with another girls too sooo

yeaa, it was really for the best : )

[apollo2588]

Dear N,

 

I miss you so much. I want nothing more than to go back to the way things were... but you've made it clear that the door is closed. I feel like I'll always be in love with you.

 

I'm sorry but no, we can't be friends. Not while you're with him and I'm... alone with memories of us.

 

I hope you're happy somewhere and you don't forget about me.

 

Love,

 

Me

[icyness]

Dear G,

You know, I find it very odd that for someone who believes he's so perfect and amazing in every way possible a man can be, you have have some pretty big skeletons in your closet.

 

I can't help but mull everything over and over in my head lately, I'm still damn angry and I think I will be for a long time unfortunately.

I know you say all the things to her that you said to me.

So you think you've found the love of your life huh? Second girlfriend ever in your young adult life and she's it for you...just as I was at one time.

For someone so smart, you seem to be clueless when it comes to relationships and how to handle them.

 

It must be more than easy for you to forget me and what you did to me being supported and surrounded by people like your mother who believes her son is God and incapable of making even the slightest mistakes in life.

 

It takes everything in me everyday to not message your new girlfriend telling her about me and what you did. It makes my blood boil knowing she thinks she has the best man ever when it's the furthest thing from the truth.

(I'm assuming she doesn't even know I exist, I think it's safe to say you lied to her saying you were single when in fact you were still with me.)

 

Keep up the flawless act all you want, it doesn't change how you behaved towards me and what you did in the end one bit.

Acting like the good guy doesn't mean you are one; perhaps you were a few years ago, but I think you blew that the moment you decided it was perfectly fine and normal to become a full blown liar/cheater.

Edited February 21, 2010 by icyness

[PuggaGirl]

Dear A,

You called and asked about the divorce paperwork again. Strange that you called on the 2 month anniversary and now on the 3 month anniversary... Anyway, I'm not lifting a finger. If you want it so you can be with your new girlfriend (stop lying and just admit you are together), then get started. You were unhappy with me. I get that. I can't just let go of 14 years of togetherness - even if there were bad times - but I will walk away from you. I am the cause of most of our problems. I admit that and have no right to cry and expect sympathy when I gave you no reason to stay and give it another try. A, I will always love you and regret what happened. I still do hope that one day we can find each other as friends - we've been a good team in so many ways. I have to distance myself from you. You trying to be around and giving me a shoulder to cry on - that wasn't fair for either of us. I know I've been weak since you left and did everything wrong - I begged, pleaded, tried to remind you of the good times, the plans we had made. I'm done. I will leave you with her.

 

Lotsa Luv, L

[leoine]

this is a really good thread being able to read what other people are going through and its surprisingly similar. I'd previously typed a draft email to get it out, no addressee of course !

****

 

I would love for you to email me. but i don't want to reply with any news on my behalf because you might think that i was okay with being friends. i'm not.

[Getting_stronger]

I fell in love with the idea of you. The romance, the attention, the amazing thrill of it all, and yes- the lovely things you can afford to do. But the reality is- thats all you have- an image. I fell in love with an image and there is no fdepth there. Being with you has made me see that I value somethings more than all the things you brought to me- I value love and depth and reliability and genuineness and steadfastness. I will be ok. I am a wonderful person who got sucked into something that is beneath me. No more. I am on a solid path from here on- its straight and clear. I'll focus on staying on my path. You can focus on yet another failed relationship in your life. Maybe we can be friends one day- but not now. Goodbye D. We had agreat time, but I need something real.

[coltsfan1]

I miss you everyday, I know that I have to let go but it has been so hard watching you totally change who you are. I miss your son so much I thought that I was going to be his dad and your husband. I truly pray for you everyday, I can't even cry about it any more. It is all I can do to just put one foot in front of the other. It is so strange to think that a few years ago I couldn't have cared less I didn't even know you were alive, and now I can hardly breathe with out you! I just hope its all worth it.

[lunar_rabbit]

I wish I could get an explanation out of you for why you suddenly decided to hurt me the way you did. I wish even more that I could get an apology. Consider your cellphone number and email blocked. Just like you inexplicably blocked *my* cellphone number.

 

I'm furious, but I'm still sitting here looking at the IM program we use, waiting, expecting, *hoping* that your little green light will come on, even though I'm not intending to speak to you at all (unless whatever you have to say contains the word "sorry"). Even though you've realised your (and my) worst fear of breaking my heart when I entrusted it to you, I still want to see that light come on and know you still exist out there. Even though the stronger part of me is sick to the core at having to live under the same sky as such a coward and wastrel such as yourself. That's why I haven't deleted your number or removed you as an IM contact yet.

 

And it's only Day 2 of NC, part of me still thinks there's a reasonable explanation for all this. But in the eventuality there isn't, I still need something small to hold onto...

[Gcm]

Technically not my ex but I was seeing her for the last 7 months and to everyone else, we were a couple, I think we were both just playing ignorant.

 

She cut ties with me two days ago, today she leaves to go on a cruise with her mother and sister for a week - how convenient.

 

I was on Facebook earlier this morning but appeared offline. I noticed she was online. I was so tempted to get online and wish her a safe trip but didn't.

 

I know she's missing me as there's much more to this story. Here's to hoping she fools around for 7 days, comes back, and realises she actually missed me and wants to start a relationship. In these next 7 days, I'll be sure to play hook ups with girls I've shrugged off for the last 7 months.

 

Edit: So I've just read a few posts in this thread and realised it's more about posting what we'd say to them if we were to contact them. So here goes.

 

Dear "X",

 

You came into my life pretty much a week after I broke up with my ex. Initially, I wanted nothing from you. We started off as friends with benefits until one day you opened up about your feelings. I changed the subject in a nice way as I still didn't know how I felt for you. What started as hanging out maybe once or twice a week quickly turned into 3 to 4 times a week.

 

You were with your ex for 5 1/2 years. He went on a cruise, came back, and told you he didn't know what he wanted. You found out he cheated on you. You're 21 so he was your first everything and I understand that. You've been honest with me in the past and told me that you'd missed him. You told me that he'd be the man you'd marry if he didn't ruin things. Only 6 months after breaking up with him, you met me.

 

It took you about 3 months to open up to me which I actually respected. If you had opened up within the first few weeks / month, I would've felt like a rebound. You assured me that your feelings for me were so strong and that you were scared of falling in love with me. Your ex came back into your life after close to a year with minimal contact; only because he knew you had someone else in the picture. You did the right thing and brushed him off, after all, you were moving on.

 

I know you booked a trip overseas for later this year and a cruise which you're leaving for today when you were single. I told you that I didn't care what happened overseas. I told you that I understood you booked that trip being single and I didn't want you to think about someone at home while you were travelling. I gave you a "guilt free" pass and told you that I'd still be here for you when you returned.

 

You respected that so much but told me that you couldn't do that to me. You told me that by the time you left for your trip, your feelings would be far too strong and you couldn't fool around with anyone else. I continued to back off seeing as you had so much on your plate and you continued coming back. You told me that "I wasn't that easy to give up".

 

Two days ago you cut ties with me. You told me that you haven't experienced the single life and feel like you need to. I was pretty hurt by this (even though I didn't really show you) simply for the fact that you kept coming back into my life when I tried walking away from everything. This should've ended last year in November.

 

I hope you get what you want out of this cruise. IF you're planning on hooking up with others, I hope it makes you feel great about yourself. I'm not being sarcastic either. You told me that I'm the perfect guy and you said the exact same thing to your mother and sister. You told me that I just came into your life at the wrong time. I do hope that one day things can work out again. That said, I'm not holding onto hope and I'll continue to go out and have fun with my friends until you decide to contact me, if you ever do.

 

Thank you for the last 7 months. Although I was frustrated about the way things ended, I simply can't hate you as you were nothing but honest about everything.

 

Take care babe.

Edited February 22, 2010 by Gcm

[Porter Royal]

Hey Baby,

So I think I finally get it. On Jan. 7 when you said its over, I thought it was the bipolar talking. I figured that when your winter was over we'd get back together. I told you I'd wait until you surfaced.

 

We saw each other exactly 4 times since then and two of those times were last week. I thought you were coming around - saying nice things to me, sending me signals. When I finally break down on Monday and tell you I'm dying to be with you even if it means only smelling your hair, you say it will lead to more. Hello! Of course it will. you equated our thing to quitting smoking. Nice.

 

Last week when you said you don't want to use me, I dropped the ball and didn't ask you what that meant. I guess it means you knew then you weren't going to get back with me. And when you broke it off back in Jan., you said you wanted me in your life. I dropped the ball again and didn't ask what you meant by it. I see now you want me around for some laughs, or take you to lunch, or something, anything other than sex. My mistake.

 

For two months, I kept thinking we would get back together. I see now that you are much stronger than me. At most, you'll see me during the day, at work, when its safe. You won't agree to see me during the weekends when we might be alone. I get it now. You're done. You've had enough. You told me before, but I didn't believe it. Now I believe you.

 

At least I can hold my head high when I see you. When we started, I said you'd be the weak link in this relationship. I was right. I also predicted that if I laid the pipe right, and I did, you'd fall in love with me and follow me home. Our deal was no falling in love and sex would be it. We both broke that last deal. We both said that we'd get out of this deal if, at any time, it wasn't working for the other, and we'd end it nicely. No hard feelings. I said it before and I say it again, you are the ***k of my lifetime. Nobody ever did me like you or looked at me the way you did.

 

I don't regret a single minute I spent with you or thinking about you. You blew me away and made me feel like a human being after 20 years in a difficult marriage.

 

I can't see you or be in your life at all. Seeing you only makes me crazy, like a wild animal. You'll never accidentally find me in any of the places we went together. Those places only meant something to me when I was with you.

 

When you see your mockingbirds in the garden, think of me once in a while.

 

You're so effing powerful and awesome.

[mizundastud]

Yeah ummm T its Me

 

I just want to say that I F**king Hate You, you selfish bastard. I'm the best you ever had and the best you'll probably ever have. I heard you just had a baby ' I feel sorry for the poor child. I don't know why these woman chase after your sorry, broke, selfish, irresponsible a$$. You think your the ***** but your just a piece of *****.

 

P.S. Pleeeeeeaaasseee come back to me

[hisprincess41407]

so for the first like 3 months I was TERRIBLE at NC but I don't think it's ever too late to start...

 

Daniel,

 

I truly don't understand you right now. You were always the guy that I never worried about cheating on me and then you're the ONLY one to ever do it. But I know that I can forgive you for it but I really don't know why I am the one wanting you back when you did all the bad ****. SERIOUSLY that girl that you left me for is fat and ugly and has been in a 2 year community college for 3 years!!! I go to a PRIVATE school on FULL SCHOLARSHIP and I have a 4.0 and I LOVE YOU. What the hell is wrong with you? I know that I deserve you and I do sometimes wonder if you deserve me but I have given you my whole heart. I am open to working things out and YOU know if we worked through this we'd be better but I guess after the thing with that ugly slut fell through sleeping around seems like something on your to-do list. **** YOU. Seriously I don't even know why I want to work it out with you sometimes other than the fact that when I made mistakes you worked through it with me but you won't give me a chance to work through your stupid ass mistakes, because believe me they are mistakes and I know that I am really scared you will never come back but I do know deep down inside of my soul that I am the best you've ever have and ever will have. I AM WORTH IT! I am valuable and if you don't want this back then there is something wrong with you and honestly if you never try and fix this then I cannot believe anything that you ever said to me because someone who loves me and wants to marry me and will do anything for me and who crys over me when we can't go to college together doesn't throw it away forever for a few sluts. I understand that you've only been with me since college and yeah you haven't had your "guy" phase of being an idiot so TAKE IT now and right now know that I love you and I am working on me as well but for us because WHEN you come back not if, I know what I want and I KNOW we can work it out. So please just realize it soon. I love you more than I ever thought I could love anyone and I KNOW we can make this work, I know that when we get through this we will be stronger than ever. YOU are the only man that ever made me want to be married, to start a family. YOU are the only guy that truly understood me and cared for me. We have been friends for 7 years and we were together for 3 so just hurry up and remember that. AND when you're sitting there thinking about how big of an idiot I was when I wouldn't leave you alone in the beginning of the break up why don't you open up your BIG STUPID EYES and see that it's because I care about you and I know what we had and I know it is worth more than giving up. I love you and I will forever.

 

-Emily

[Rearden Metal]

Babe,

 

Quit ****ing manipulating me!

 

Sincerely,

 

RM

 

...more to come