Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[LikeCharlotte]

You lose. I will be gone soon and I hope your regret lasts the rest of your life. I will be giving all of it to someone else while you drown alone in your fear. No one ever loved you as much and you wouldn't deserve it if they did. May every love you might have get away before you do it to them as well. You did not ruin me. I am not damaged. I simply think you are dumb. Hearing that would kill you. You are dumb.

[LikeCharlotte]

O-

Hey. Thanks for considering it. I do not know what to say. Even if you cannot do it. Thank you.

-Charlotte

[ohno89]

I don't know if I'm supposed to be writing back to people on here but LTC, your post was touching...it made me feel a lot of things, but it made me feel calm... LikeCharlotte, i also liked yours too... I might hang about in here and read some more...maybe even post eventually if I pluck up the courage and figure out what to say!

[LoveTNT]

Hey M,

 

I dabble still at the thoughts of how you could just let go. I know that I'm the one that was so fed up with feeling lonely and wondering why you were being distant and blurbed out for the 3rd time that I was done! I feared the loss of you, and I was lonely. Yes your reason was because you were depressed and were stressed about losing your job etc, but I know it also had to do with you not letting yourself give in to our relationship after we got back together again. Like you said sometimes you felt like you had to watch out for yourself because you didn't want to hurt like the past. ANd you wanted to stay ready just incase we broke up again. That wasn't fair, I felt we were stronger than that. I know now that when I gave myself 100% was when you were backing out. But you loved me so much? I was your queen. That's what you said. Your words " I wouldn't want it any other way".. You were the one that mentioned,you said you were in-love with me, and for the first time I said I was in-love, you mentioned life partners, through the good and the bad, and anything that was yours was mine, and that your home was more of a home when i was there with you etc... all that is so deep and to just build up your walls? to say f it I can't give in now? well i have to respect that. I just hope that you truly are letting go and you're love for me is fading. I really hope that it's not your pride. Because if thats the case, and you find yourself loving me and missing me and reaching out, I've probably by then moved on, because baby I gotta love myself and I gotta move on. Take Care...

[Iselia]

I'm so sad things turned out the way they did. I just wish we could talk about this breakup openly and freely. Communicate and get past it, y'know? But I know you don't want this relationship anymore. You want that other woman... You chose her over me. You haven't even really known her for a year and you knew me fairly well for 4.5 years. We were in a relationship for 4 of those years. I keep thinking how you could toss me like that so easily.

 

I know I did (unknowingly) hurt you at some points. I wish you would have told talked to me about some issues you were having. We both hurt each other. The cycle needs to be broken, for sure, but I'm afraid by the time it's broken you and her will be together.

[LoveTNT]

Nicole -

 

You ripped my heart from my chest after I fell so hard for you after a few short months. 9 Months after you left me to fend for myself blindly in the dark... damning my thoughts... and suffocating the very life force that flows through me... and here you are on facebook asking for forgiveness? You expect my pity and forgiveness because you were not in the 'right place' at the time, but now that you're in a much better place everything is well?

 

They say forgiveness is gold... and that a new tomorrow begins in our hearts. That doesn't hold true for you. You knew how to destroy my heart... and can't even begin to fathom how much it affected me. My life. My work.

 

For months I could close my eyes and stand upon the sandy shores of the ocean dreaming for the day you would return... but with each passing moment that place I would dream about... where the sky was deep and blue... would end in tears. Until the day I found myself upon my knees digging deep into the earth where I would forever bury that place in my heart once held for you.

 

I had to learn to live with my loneliness... I had to endure the darkest, dreariest of nights in my head without you. There is so much I want to say... to speak my mind in truth and aphorism, but in my hour of desperate need I find myself here in a place I least expected.

 

Tell me now what is it about contacting me that will bring you peace of mind? No good may come of it. When you lose your self-esteem, that's when love dies....

 

We are human. We are weak. We are insecure. We are vulnerable...

 

 

...I am....

 

.....and you took advantage of that.

 

I write these words spoken in thought that encumber my heart... my mind... my soul... ellipses....

 

I've faced all my demons, finally content with everything I am. For once, I'm at peace... I was burdened, but I've found closure from within. You should too. I'm glad to hear you're well, but there is no place for you in my life. I'm moving on and so should you...

 

What's done is done... you left my heart in pieces... left me to fend for myself while I scramble to reassemble them blindly... for weeks I would pretend I was ok... and within the blink of an eye and a distant memory of you, it was all broken once more. I will not allow that... I cannot allow it.

 

It was hard to deal with the pain of losing you. It was hard to force a smile. I had to force myself out of bed... and because of you... now... my heart is not open. The only thing I could thank you for is allowing me to learn more of myself... who I am... took me nearly a year, but at large cost. I've lost so much... more than I'm willing to share on an open forum...

 

...you're so consumed with the thoughts of what we were. The only way you shall ever see a glimpse of my heart and my smile... No. You cannot. Not even if you begged. The power of goodbye is a systemic nuance... it is truly in the association of farewells that the human psyche can flourish without being held in contempt. You were my lesson... I had to learn and I was your fortress you had to burn... There's nothing left to try between us... friendship... acquaintanceship... this time, Nicole, my heart is not open to you. Not now. Not ever.

 

I loved you so... but now it's really over. Those tears I cried over you brought me higher than I've ever been before. Now that my loneliness is through.. I'm going to find a better you.

 

Goodbye Nicole... do not expect a reply from me. I will not be as childish as you and block you on Facebook...

 

...my phone number is no more... on which you do not have and I am thankful for this.

 

I do not wish to hear from you ever again, but I hope, upon hope... that on your journey forward in life... you find happiness, success, love, and all those other great things.... but not with me. Now now... not ever.

 

Good luck & best wishes,

 

Love Always,

 

Rob.

 

 

Oh my, Gulp..... Powerful.

[Thorgs]

I plan on going skydiving next month, getting a gun so I can go shooting with my pals, and saving up for a motorcycle. You will not be apart of any of it. You will be throwing your life away after you had so much going for you. I truly, from the bottom of my heart, feel bad for you and your girls. Best of luck taking Miserable Lane.

E

[LikeCharlotte]

I don't know if I'm supposed to be writing back to people on here but LTC, your post was touching...it made me feel a lot of things, but it made me feel calm... LikeCharlotte, i also liked yours too... I might hang about in here and read some more...maybe even post eventually if I pluck up the courage and figure out what to say!

 

Just start writing. No regrets. It feels fantastic to get it out. It is okay if your feelings change. They will and that is good. It is part of healing and learning.

 

So I will post something else

Dear W,

Aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrggggggg.

-LC

[Username37]

Why so bitter when you look at me?

 

Is it because i ignored you over the summer?

 

You wanted me too. This is what you get.

 

Your problem, not mine moron.

[Trovador]

You said today "you are important to me" and "what is going to happen it's going to happen"... guess what...

 

I am past that, I am out... I still miss your friendship but that is all... I don't want you in my life, not as a friend, not as a lover, not even as a nice memory...

[LoveTNT]

I checked your business website today, and for the first time I see you are making a lot more progress. I know it's been stressful and you've felt like it's not going anywhere, but It will n it looks good, I'm proud of you. I know it's been a journey and you need strict dedication on the projects you're working on. I wish you well, to bad our bond wasn't strong enough to work through even though were both really busy... It is what it is. I know our problems and issues got out of hand, and we needed to split.... I don't want to be resentful, I just want to accept. Siiiigh...

[LoveTruthChaos]

You better not have wished what happened today on me.

[Nikki Sahagin]

I don't know why you hate me or dislike me or ignore me. I don't know what I 'did'. If one day you are mature enough to want to be my friend, I would like that. Sometimes I feel I should do more, but I know there is NOTHING I could do. I really wish you the best; happiness and a good life. I don't know if you'd wish me the same. I hope so.

[Leandro]

Hey Kathy. I heard about you and Nate. I know you were talking to him while we dated. I know you left me for him. That grass isn't greener. He just wants to sleep with you and once it happens he'll leave you.

 

He doesn't care for you as much as I do. You know that. He won't do the things for you like I did. He's not going to go and get you the "Day after pill" twice when y'all have sex with out a condom. He won't give you the money I did for you to go to Hawaii with the band. You won't feel as safe with him as you did with me. He going to talk to other girls, while I only talked to you during our relationship.

 

He will get tired of you while I never did. He'll talk bad about you when all I did was talk about how much of a angel you WERE. He's going to break you heart when he leaves for college, while I would throw my future career away for you. None of your friends and family like him or you and how you could just start dating a month after leaving me. I don't see how you can talk to a guy for a week or two and decide to leave your love of over a year for him!!

 

I was a great guy. I let you hang with your friends alone and go to parties by yourself. I let you talk to other guys while we were together. I trusted you too much. I open my heart to you. You got in it and was enjoying it. When you decided you weren't ready for a real man that would take care of you, you just ripped you way out and date a boy. Do you think he's going to like you talking to other guys? Do you think he's going to let you go out on your own with out texting you 24/7? Do you think I was controlling? You have no idea what controlling is, but now that you're with him you will soon find out. I could keep going on!

 

What make me so confused is how you would talk to guys that like you but you didn't like them in anyway. You said you did it because you didn't want to hurt their feelings. I guess I'm less than them, since you don't talk to me at all. You said you loved me so many times, but you don't know what true love is.

 

I wish I had not met you two years ago. I wouldn't be in such pain. You like seeing me suffer don't you? I hate it that I have to remember you for the rest of my life. When my children ask me about my first love I'm going to have to think about you again and how you tore my heart apart. How you walked away so easily with a smile and started seeing someone else, but I'll also remember how it's you lose and not mine! There is so much more I want to say but don't feel like it anymore.

 

I miss the OLD you . I hate the NEW you .

[Leandro]

Why did you do it? What does he have that I don't? Was it because he sweet talked you a little while y'all were at class? Was it because you saw him more than you saw me? Why did you lie to me, to my face? I did nothing to deserve this from you.

[LikeCharlotte]

As always, as you wish. You wanted it. You got it. Cliché parental advice applies: "Be careful what you wish for"... I will not argue with you. I have no choice. I have only ever wanted to see you happy. I think I saw it for awhile. Was there something I was supposed to do? Did I miss it? I watched you build the wall and load the trebuchet. I was waiting for the enemy. Apparently it was me.

[LikeCharlotte]

There is only a small amount of time that I am allowing myself to get beyond my grief. I have to work at it so I can move forward without the excess baggage and writing to you here is the only way I can think of to do that. Private journals haunt me because I fear they will be found and read in the future. Private is also the same as 'keeping it in' for me. That has never worked. Putting it all here makes me feel like its going out into the world and more importantly, out of me. Talking about it is not possible and so endless anonymous posts will have to work.

 

I'd recognize your words anywhere. A reasonable fear that this is mutual has been killing my honesty. I am done being afraid. Funny. I read this and I see that this is exactly how I would sound were I speaking the words. Broken. Flat. Terrified. Unable to get the stupid muscle in my mouth to form a genuine or coherent sentence. The facade is crumbling.

 

I put myself on the line to make you stronger and happier and never thought twice about it. Love is not the colorful notions of songwriters and film makers. That much is true. Is it knowing that you would sacrifice your comfort for someone's happiness? I am not sure. I don't know much about it. I know that is what I did. I felt that your definition must be better than mine. I wanted to give you love. Unbiased, honest love. Nothing romantic. No flowery poems. No promises. Real and sincere love. You need it. Was it received? A thank you note would have been nicer than the "F*** Y**" and deceptive portrayal of your intentions and feelings. Funnier still; I don't mind. I will be content despite feeling abandoned and mislead. I did all I could and someday I hope you can know what it feels like to have given love.

 

After all this time I never expected you to push me away. Is it fear or apathy? Do you know how duplicitous fear can be? I finally learned that the treacherous chameleon called fear will make me behave in destructive ways and then let me rationalize the whole wretched drama. I hope it does not do to you what it has done to me.

 

After all I've put in to be your friend I have reached my limit. I will not challenge your decisions. I have faith that I will be remembered fondly if not accurately.

 

Fin

[Ajax]

How does it feel C?

 

How does it feel not to have me in your life anymore? How does it feel to have given in to your fears yet again? How does it feel to shut EVERYONE out who cares about you? I hope it feels ****ing fantastic because it seems to be what you wanted.

 

How does it feel to be unable to commit? How does it feel to change career paths three times in four years? How does it feel to screw your roomate over because you don't know where you want to live anymore?

 

You say you're confused, and I think that's the only thing you do know.

[Leandro]

Hey K.

 

Why didn't you tell me the truth from the start? Why did you cheat on me? Why don't you contact me? Why didn't you give me a good bye hug when you broke my heart? Did you think you were going to see me again? haha!!! You're never going to see me again baby! I was your first boyfriend so you have to learn what happens when you break peoples hearts. You might see me again, maybe 15 years from now!! Then you'll see what you threw away when I have tons of money and traveling the world! You be stuck with N!

[LoveTruthChaos]

You made yourself and the girl you cheated on me with 'Facebook Official' just 4 weeks after leaving me. You never wanted to make anything public with me. It's taken me 5 long months to realise that you never took the idea of 'us' seriously. We were together more than a year and a half, and you never took our relationship seriously. Everyone around us did. I did. Nice to know how you really felt. Nice to know that by doing this, you used my heart as a stepping stone when I gave you all of mine. I never got all your heart in return, did I?

 

I gave you all of me, and you didn't care. I meant nothing to you, but it was 20 months of nothing. I wasn't here just to keep your heart warm until she came along. You meant so much to me, but I meant nothing to you.

 

Well, guess what. You and her don't have ANY mutual friends. You and I have more than 300. They all LOVED the idea of 'us'. Who are you seeking approval from now?

 

Yes, you may be 'in a relationship' with her. She may mean that much to you. But to me, she will always be the 'girl you cheated on me with'. She is nothing. And in the words of our closest mutual friend - you never deserved me.

[Iselia]

It's been a month NC and I'm suprised you haven't contacted me. You were always such a dependent/clingy person... You must really be focusing on other women and moving on.

 

Is life without me really that much better than life with me?

[Buccaneer55]

It's been a month and half since you decided that you no longer wanted to be in our 5.5 year relationship.

 

I did all the stupid, begging, pleading I could because I love you so much.

 

You ended it with me, and yet you won't go more than 5 days without trying to contact me in some way?

 

I hate that I'm still so vulnerable to you that I can't ignore your calls or texts. It's not fair what you're doing to me. You tell me you don't want to be with me, but you're not over me either?

 

Sure I messed up at times in our relationship, but I never cheated on you, I never hit you, and I always reminded you how important you were too me. Even though you weren't always perfect either, I NEVER gave up on you, because working things out is what you do when you LOVE someone.

 

How I hate holding onto some sort of hope that eventually you'll want to get back with me, but when you won't leave me alone what else am I suppose to think?

 

I just want this all to go away, I know I don't need you, but it's so hard to not want you

[Ajax]

I drove by the park where we had our picnic over the summer. I didn't think to avoid it until I was there. Remember how I surprised you with chocolate covered strawberries? You said you didn't deserve me. But you did deserve me C. You did deserve me. You just let your demons get the better of you. I hope you beat them and come back to me. We have so many more picnics to go on.

[Leandro]

Hey K

 

You know I love you very much. That I would give you everything you want. I would walk through hell wearing a gasoline suit just to see you. I will never hurt you in anyway and I never did. I loved you for you! Not your body! If you were to let yourself go I wouldn't care! That's how much I love you K!

 

I have to let you go. It's the best for both of us. You have to experience life and I understand you don't want me in it. You have to grow up to become the person you're meant to be. I guess you're scared to be with one man your whole life. I wasn't scared of spending the rest of my life with you. I was really looking forward to it. Why did you have to be my first love? I rather have you as my last love.

 

You know that we probably won't ever see each other again. It's very rare that first loves stay together. You're still going to have a special place in my heart, even though you left me for someone else. We could have worked it out. There isn't one relationship in the world that is perfect, every couple has problems, they fix them and become stronger. . I never gave up on you. Why did you give up on me so easily?

 

I was never controlling you. I never told you what you couldn't do. I never told you who you couldn't text or hangout with. I never told you where you couldn't go. You had a lot of freedom and space. I was never disappointed when you didn't do something I asked! I just did the face to mess with you! I was never obsessed with you. If I was don't you think I would be begging for you to stay? I don't NEED you! I WANT you. You were your self when you were with me and I loved it. You just changed. Do you think you're perfect? You had some problems too, but did I walk out and hook up with the next available girl? Hell no! That's because I loved you and didn't let the little things bother me! Yea I had a texting problem but I could have fixed that easily if you had only said something, but you didn't. You used that as a excuse to leave me for him. I'm a great guy K and everyone knows that.

 

Someone sweet talks you and you drop me like that? I really hope you listened to your gut and not what he told you to do. You were different that day.It seemed like someone told you to do it. You never cared about our age difference, but yet that was another excuse. You refused to give me a good bye hug! You weren't ready for a serious relationship but you jump into another one a month later? That tells me how much you cared about me.

 

Did you ever love me? I'm starting to think you didn't. That you never cared about me. You were so cold to me during and after the break up. I needed you the most and you left me to suffer while you enjoyed life with him. How did it feel to hurt me? Did you feel relieved? Did you walk to your car with a big smile while texting "I did it !" to him? I saw a new you. That you forgot who I am already. I'm sure you threw all the things i gave you away to make room for his stuff. You replaced my ring with his. You probably flushed the turtles I gave you for your birthday down the toilet. You cuddle with him on the couch instead of me. You tell him "I love you", but don't say it to me anymore. Am I your first love or the biggest mistake of your life? Will you even remember me this time next year? Will you even mention me to future relationships? I don't think so. You'll probably talk more about him and never mention me in your life again.

 

It hurts knowing you cheated on me! When you always told me not to cheat on you! I never did!

 

What did I do to deserve this? Why did you lie to me over and over again? Was I a good bf? Were you happy with me?

 

One day you'll wake up and realize how much I really loved you. Later in life you maybe happy with your husband but I'll still love you more than he ever will. I do wish you a happy life with who ever. I know you don't care about me, you probably want me to go off and die in some cave. That won't happen.

 

You'll probably read this and laugh at me and delete it. Then you'll go call him and tell him what I did. You'll laugh even more.

 

(I really wish I could send this to her.)

[Banker Chick]

C-

I tried hard for 10 months to believe in you and see your potential, even when others told me I was crazy, that I could do so much better. I saw the positives. You fell short many times but I just repeated to myself that in time, with your goals and plans, you would become someone that I could be really happy with long term. As time progressed, I continued to see you make poor decisions and not come to any realizations, no matter how much I tried to be a positive role model and encourage and support you. This is why we fought so much; I just couldn't understand, nor respect, some of the things you did and said and the way you approached your life.

 

I wanted so much for things to be better for you. I knew you had a crappy childhood & teenage years and as such, didn't get a good start in life but you wanted to change, you wanted to make something for yourself and I wanted so badly to help you achieve it. You wanted to better yourself. In that way I felt we were a team ... I was a mentor. You looked up to me and always told me how you needed me in your life and what a positive effect I had on it.

 

Unfortunately, things have not gotten any better. Seeing you and spending time with you on Saturday only served to confirm that to me. If anything, life is worse for you now than when we met and things have rapidly declined in the month since we've broken up. You sound very depressed and down no matter how much I try to pump you up. Now, it seems you're even questioning whether getting your teaching degree is the right answer. I know it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when things are so bad and you have no money, no time and no good source of support but you can't live in the "short term" like you've done all your life. You have to grow up, mature a little and deal with it. You can't just quit when the going gets tough. I wish I had it in me to stick around and help you, even as a friend like we agreed, but I just can't. I don't think it's good for either of us. I know you're a hopeless romantic and think I'm "the one" and when you get your life together you'll ask me to marry you and we'll be together but I'm sorry ... I can't wait. I can't invest one more minute in someone that has so much growing up to do and so much to still figure out.

 

I crave a true partner ... emotionally, intellectually, financially. I realized a hard truth this weekend. Most of what we talked about was you and your issues. Sure, we discussed some of what was going on in my life but not at your prodding; just me offering it up as conversation. No questions about my family, my Guardian ad Litem program, work, etc. Just stuff that pertained to you.

 

I know you love me a lot and I think that's what's been so hard about this. The guilt is literally eating me up. I don't want to abandon you but I think my presence in your life is only hurtful, even though you won't see it that way for some time. I'm sure in the short run you'll just feel that I moved on right away to "find someone better" as you've put it numerous times and that I left you when you needed me the most. That's not true and I hope someday you'll be able to see that. It was apparent on Saturday that we cannot be friends, FWB, whatever it is we were trying to do. You are in it as much as you were in the beginning, regardless of what you try and say ... your actions say otherwise. I know you say you can just be friends but you can't C when you grill me on who I'm dating, what time I go to the gym and if there are a lot of guys there, if I've had sex with anyone, that sort of thing. It's not healthy...why must you torture yourself? Morgan mentioned that you'll say anything at this point to keep me in your life and that's not good. We need distance. I know you're racing against the clock trying to get your school done so you can have a career and show me you're worthy of me but it's only serving to burn you out and set you back. I know you're trying hard to accomplish something before I meet someone else but you can't view it that way. You have to do this for you and only you.

 

I wish I could have helped you; saved you but it's taken me awhile to realize that was never my job. You have to save yourself. I hope and pray you can make something of yourself because you have such a good heart, you really do. I want to see you be successful. No one can predict the future but I can control my present. I'm sorry that you'll reach out to me at some point and I will have to be silent because to do anything else would only be counterproductive ... for both of us.