Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[Buccaneer55]

M

 

You finally went a day without contacting me. By the end of it I was feeling good. I'm trying my hardest to just go about my business each day, but it's hard.

 

If you only knew the range of emotions that you make me feel. How sometimes I get angry, times like I'm moving on, and other times so sad. I hate feeling like one person in the world can control my happiness, but right now you do

 

Tonight I was just listening to my IPod trying to just enjoy some music, and it's like every song that came on reminded me of you. How many times we use to jam in each others cars, and how many songs we had that reminded us of the other.

 

It just seems like I can't escape you. Although after finally starting to think of other people's advice, I've come to realize I can't make you come back, and I don't want someone who doesn't want to be with me, and right now you don't want to be with me.

 

The best thing I can do is to just completely let you go for now. I need to work on some changes in my life things that can make me a better person for myself.

 

Most people believe that an ex will always at least re-enter the picture just to see if there's a small possibility. I hope this is the case for us, but I know now is not that time.

 

The last thing I want to do is push you away by bringing us up, and showing you how hard I'm taking this. I need to let you experience some life without me, and see if that's what you really want.

 

I'm scared of losing you forever, seeing how we got into such a serious relationship when I was still finishing high school I can't seem to remember much of a good time when you weren't there.

 

I still love you so much though

 

J

[Leandro]

Hey K

 

I'm sorry for being this way since the break up.

 

I don't know if you cheated on me. You said no so that should be it.

I don't know if you left me for him or not. Maybe he's a rebound.

I'm still going to leave you alone and review our relationship to make me a better partner for future relationships. Hopefully you'll give me another chance to show you. If not oh well.

[LoveTruthChaos]

R,

 

I haven't lay in your arms for nearly a year, and she's laying in them now. Only 4 weeks after leaving me, you were 'in a relationship' with her. Just 2 days after you and her became friends on FB, she plastered that she loves you all over your wall. I'm sure you just LOVED that, you who hates displays of public affection. Or maybe that's why I can't get over you. Because with her, you like it, and I just wasn't good enough.

 

Thank you so very much for telling me that 'it's not you, it's me'. We used to joke about how much of a cop out that was, how we were beyond all that.

 

I really wanted to hear that from my first love...

 

Both of you make me sick.

[Iselia]

I've been missing you so much, it's crazy. I wonder if you'll ever come back to me. I know you think the grass is greener at college. You have no responsibility, and you can do whatever and whomever you like. It hurts knowing that your life is so damn great without me. I honestly just miss you and want you back. I still cry over this relationship so much. It's rare to go a day without crying at least little bit.

 

It keeps hitting me that you aren't coming back and I'm not sure how to deal with that. I know other "matches" exist, but honestly, I don't want to put any effort forward in getting to know someone new. I don't want to bother finding out every little detail about them, to love them and give them affection, to only be hurt again. I'm so tired of these tears. When will my crying end?

[ChrisMc]

I envy your able to move on so fast. You tell our friends you are doing great, enjoying partying every weekend, living life to its fullest.

 

**** do I wish I could say the same. Even when I go out, even when I'm with other women, I'm so miserable I wish I was dead more often then I'd like to admit.

 

Must be nice...

[collegeguy_24]

Well Jen, its been exactly a week since we last talked.

 

I still miss you so much, I still love you, an it hurts that you moved on as quickly as you did, that you broke up with me the way you did, and that you ran away like a coward instead of working on our relationship.

 

But, I have also accepted its over, and have begun to see other people. I refuse to wallow in misery. But, so far, all my efforts have been for nothing.

 

It so easy for you, your hot, you can **** and date anyone you want and you know it. But me, not so easy. I've been friend zoned by every woman I talked to and it sucks. I miss you, I miss holding you, I miss walking with you, I miss talking with you, I miss everything about you.

[Iselia]

Jisha you kept telling me that you don't want a relationship at this point in time. Then why are you all over her? I know you want something with her... Or some other woman. You lied to me, over and over again. Why? Why couldn't you just tell me the truth? The more I think of everything that has happened, the more I feel like you're a really sh*tty person.

[hurt and devastated]

Imagine my surprise when you told me you got put on Lexapro. I had no idea things were going so badly for you. You gave me every impression everything was fine and you didn't have a care in the world. While I feel bad you are on antidepressants, I don't feel THAT bad. We're apart because of the choices you made, and I'm afraid you're too late if you're going to decide you want me back.

[collegeguy_24]

I wish we could be together Jen. I wish you would contact me, tell me that you wan to try and work things out. I already gave it my best, now its your turn. I would give anything to have you back, but you need to contact me this time. In the past I always contacted you, now the balls in your court.

 

I still love you, I really, truly do.

[isitreal]

I see you driving 'round town with the girl i love and i'm like **** you.

 

I guess the change in pocket, just wasn't enough, i'm like **** you and **** her too.

 

And although there's pain in my chest, i still wish you the best with a **** you!

 

GO RUN AN' TELL YOUR LITTLE BOYFRIEND.

[summerl0vesyou]

I envy your able to move on so fast. You tell our friends you are doing great, enjoying partying every weekend, living life to its fullest.

 

**** do I wish I could say the same. Even when I go out, even when I'm with other women, I'm so miserable I wish I was dead more often then I'd like to admit.

 

Must be nice...

 

 

I totally feel your pain here....my guy was able to just move on, after he begged me and told me hed always be waiting and be here for me, not even a month later he retracted it and was gone for good. Must be nice to be him, all ripped and attractive, going to work and school and whatever else like i never existed.

 

When i see other guys, i think of C. over and over, over and over...

im sick of this life, im sick of being miserable over someone who doesnt give a sht if im alive...but i do and i cant break it. i feel so awful, so unwanted and not worthwhile. lost, confused.

 

So this is what i wish i could say to C right now:

I had to contact you today because of a legal situation were both involved in. And one of the first things i said was "Im not trying to bother you" cuz I know you think of me contacting you as a bother, you told me that every other time i tried to talk to you.

Its sad that I had to say that. Really sad. Just months after you promised your life to me, to love me forever and be here for me, YOU ARE GONE.

and you are COLD. and you dont CARE.

You replied, and stuck to business. you dont care how im doing. you just wanted to know the specifics of the situation. we texted for 30 minutes, then again, you are gone the same as before.

 

I dont know what I did that was so bad to you, to deserve this.

I loved you with everything in me, everyday we shared that love. And i know youll remember it someday. but you wont care. you're hard.

Cold. you put me in that zone in your mind and Ill never see the light of day again.

 

I still love you. I still cry all the time. Do you think of that? Of course not. You're off doing ur thing. And im happy you're happy but...im miserable.

[LikeCharlotte]

W-

I don't care what you know. I am an open book. Girl writes steam of consciousness on the internet. It is read and misinterpreted. Hilarity ensues. Really?

 

Just one thing, it is not about you. It is about me. So whatever you are looking for you are probably not going to find it by stalking my sites or posts. But hey, it is your time. Use it however you want. The other option is to just ask. Less is lost in translation with direct communication. I am not great with emotions or words but I am not above trying. No, I am not going to say that to you. That would require acknowledging your bizarre behavior and frankly honey this particular action is not at the top of that list. To confront you about any of it would be an exercise in futility. I know that much. Jesus you are a freak show sometimes.

-Charlotte

[Leandro]

Hey K

 

I miss you a lot. I miss you texting me. I miss your smiles and laughs. I miss you cuddling with me and calling me your teddy bear. You probably don't miss me at all since your with him now.

 

I hate to go and leave you out of my life, but I have to so that I can heal and grow from this heartbreaking experience.

 

I'm doing good I guess. Most of the days I'm fine but from time to time I break down and cry a little.

 

I don't know why but something keeps telling me that everything will be fine, that we're not over. I try to fight it and make myself believe your gone forever.

 

Its been two weeks since we last talked. It hurts. It's not easy being me. . It's going to be harder to ignore your phone calls and texts when/if they come. I have to do this for both of us. You have to learn that you can't break peoples hearts and not be punished for it.

 

I have a plan to bring you back in my life, mainly as a friend.

 

I'm going to stick to NC but move on with my life. I still plain on doing what I wanted when I was with you. I AM going to get in shape. I AM going to get as smart as I can. I AM going to see other girls. I AM going to get that job as a operator. I AM going to get the house I want. I AM going to travel the world and take tons of pictures. I AM going to get a tattoo of the Robotech emblem (It will help me remember you since we both loved the show). I'm such a nerd and I'll still be the same person you feel in love with. Then, maybe, after 5 or 10 years of NC I'll re-activate my Facebook account and friend request you. Load up all the pictures of where I traveled so that you can see what you're missing. You should be done with college by then or very close to it. I'm not doing this to get back with you. I'll be 25 or 30 and you'll be 21 or 26.

 

I want you in my life!! I want you to meet my wife and kids. Who knows maybe we might get together. Maybe I was the right guy at the wrong time.

 

Remember those dreams you had? One was of us getting married and I gave you a blue rose and later in the dream it dies and I leave. What happens after that? I came back with another blue rose, we kissed and danced. See there are two meanings to the blue rose meaning. 1. "The blue rose symbolizes the unattainable or impossible". 2. "To some a blue rose symbolizes "mystery" and to others "attaining the impossible". A blue rose given can symbolize the rarity of your partner. You have attained the impossible". Another dream you were watching me getting married to someone else. Then having another one of being with me later in life and talking about our kids. Maybe I get married, get divorced, then marry you. Maybe we're meant to be great friends. Only time can tell.

 

The break up is probably best. I need to focus on school to get my degree and do internships. I might even get a internship at Shell either next spring or fall! I said I would take care of you! I need to finish school before I can fulfill that. We still need to grow, experience life, meet new people, see what we want out of a relationship and what we want out of life.

 

I'm always going to love you. I'm always going to be the one that cares about you the most. I'm always going to be the one that's there for you when you have no one(except during the 5 years NC). I'm always going to try my hardest to make you happy. I'm always going to do what is best for you! Even If that means we can't see each other anymore.

 

I won't be mad if we can't be friends at that time. Like I said I'm going to move on and meet new girls. If you don't want to be friends that's fine, it won't hurt me one bit.

 

Well take care my love! I will miss you!

 

See you in 258 weeks or 518 weeks! (you might not even recognize me because I'll be in shape and well hell of a good looking MAN!)

 

P.S. you know I do what I plan!

[LoveTruthChaos]

Dear R,

 

Last night, I dreamt of you and her. You were so happy together, and you seemed so thrilled that she was more intelligent than I was when you quizzed her in the dream.

 

You remember that I dream in opposites...right?

 

*grin*

[stopthemadness]

What the heck are all you people talking about???? none of this makes sence..Guess its an inside joke that only the ones in on it get??Dumb Dumb Dumb!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[stopthemadness]

*dials*

 

*ring riiiing.... ring riiing.... ring riiiiing....*

 

Hmmm... she must have caller id and still screening my calls.

What the heck are you people talking about?????? Is this an inside joke??? dumb dumb dumb

[collegeguy_24]

What the heck are all you people talking about???? none of this makes sence..Guess its an inside joke that only the ones in on it get??Dumb Dumb Dumb!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

1: this is where we post what we wish we could say to our exs, but we won't.

 

2: your a troll, GTFO

[silic0ntoad]

T-

 

They say this place is a place of healing, a place to learn and grow. I'll never be the same, I'll tell you for sure. You really are my ecstacy. You really were my fantasy. I guess that was my downfall. This is a place of mourning, of gnashing teeth, of tears wept and spent on countless hours wishing for what was.

 

I heard the other night a friend saw you with R at the grocery store. Funny... You always denied you were seeing him, despite my fervor in that argument. Yet sin surfaces. And like a cleaver to well tenderized meat, it stung when I learned the truth. Now I simply shrug my shoulders. I used to mourn here, for you. I don't even know why I still write in this digital fantasy world to you- but I guess it does my soul good, eh?

 

I'm not sure we'll ever meet again, T. Like the breath of a passing wind, corrupted, I shall remain ever transparent in my quest to heal and remain fully apart rom you, untouched by the passing of time. Though we thought it was love, I see now you were with me for simplicity's sake, to get over your ex, and use me as a jump off.... I forgive you.

 

So, alas, we part. Preordained it seems. I was used, maybe uknowingly, but used all the same. And that's fine. You are a user, and callous. I'll keep rambling on the path to freedom, keep on digging yourself deeper, hun.

 

-Bri

[Buccaneer55]

M

 

Today was a good day for me. My internship is taking off a little bit, and I'm enjoying meeting new people, and trying to get a small grasp on a career that I've been looking forward to starting since I started college 5 years ago.

 

I went out for a run tonight something I hadn't done in a while. I've been thinking that I want to finally join a gym. We both know I don't need to for weight reasons seeing how I've always been such a stick haha, but I'd like to start working out just for me.

 

I hope you had a good day today as well. I always hope you're doing good, because I want you to enjoy life. I'm still in love with you just as much as I was 5 years ago, and all I can do is sit back and give you time, and hope you want to reconcile, and we can both give this a 100% effort.

 

I've learned so many things from our relationship, things I'd do again, and things I'd never do again. I hope we get one more chance to get it right, because there's nothing more I'd love to do then get it right with you.

 

J

[collegeguy_24]

I am feeling miserable today. I am catching a cold, my tear ducts are stocked up, and I feel like a failure. Every girl I've tried to get to to go out with me only wants me as a friend, or not at all.

 

You moved on so quickly, getting a new boyfriend, well its not so easy for me. Your hot, you can have whoever you want, not so simple for me.

 

I am average at best, I know that. Not the best looking, to skinny. I am nice and polite, but as I've learned nice guys finish last in this pathetic, horrible world.

 

My heart was ripped out, and whats left wants only you. But I can't have you. I want happiness, thats not to much to ask for. But I'm a nice guy, and we finish last. Always have, always will.

[summerl0vesyou]

C-

I cant believe you...you couldnt care less if your life depended on it. you have absolutely no care for me.

 

First, weve been texting about the legal situation. you were being a bit harsh and cold, telling me "you were served." and "trying" to help, according to your SIL. I told you that you need to remember im a human and asked if you would please just lighten up a bit and understand that ive never been thru this before.

you got offended and told me that you would basically just stop helping me, and "good luck".

 

Meanwhile, I was in agonizing pain and told you that I was going to the hospital because of it. you said that u hope it feels better. so-

1.the ER was hell. i remember when you went with me the last time and you were so amazing to me. now you dont care. anyway, they had to put in a foley catheter, they inserted it wrong 2 times then finally got it in and i was screaming in pain. I was given morphine IV and i still felt awful.

2. i was suffering in the ER. when i left, i texted you (remind you- just a few mths ago you said if Im ever in the hospital or if i need you, that you really want to know.) and I told you that I had a kidney stone and other issues and you said:

"IM SORRY TO HEAR THAT"

 

No, you're fjcking not. thats the worst thing people say to anyone and its SO insensitive.

I wish I didnt have to speak to you about anything ever again.

it disgusts me to speak to someone who cares that little about me, after supposedly they would "love me forever"

yeah, remember when you said that? I do.

 

You are seriously fkced. Im so angry at you, hurt.

I love you....and this is devastating.

[Caradavine]

W-

Well, it is day one of NC, again. This time I'm not calling or texting at all and it does not feel liberating. It feels lonely and cold, really. I miss you. I just want to be home and in your arms, watching TV or something, I don't care what. Even if it's me being downstairs while you are up in your den, just being anywhere you are would be good enough for me. Now I know that missing you like this is tons worse than missing you when you give no attention or love. I would rather have our unhappy home than this. I know I have to get to working on myself if I have any chances with you left.

 

I hope you call me tonight like you said, and that you don't forget me.

 

I am down, because I found this forum when I lost you and thought I could come here for support, but I am finding that people can be really cruel here and they are severely judgmental. I was really hoping to have some form of support. One guy said that my words emasculate men, and I wasn't even serious about what I stated, but I was coming from myself who is currently angry at a man. People never get my sense of humor. Another accused me of making my man a sperm bank and that it was no wonder he left me. She also proceeded to tell me that not having children was God's way of saying I wasn't meant to. That one hurt the worst because I have never loved anyone like I love you, and I never wanted children until I found you. Our miscarriage last year was devastating for me, and I couldn't believe anyone could be so cruel as to say the things she did. It doesn't make me abnormal or wrong because I want our children even if I lose you. I'm not sure why these people said these things, and I might not have handled it well, but I don't think this is a place I will find much help if that is how people will be.

 

So, I guess I will just post where I can, and I guess I will have to just let people judge me inaccurately. You know me, I can't stand being accused of something I didn't or wouldn't do, and I have to at least speak out. I really miss you, because I normally would have said all this to you, and you would have said, "Screw them, opinions are like arsholes" or you would have gotten angry because they were being cruel and told me they were nothing or to tell them off. Now, I'm on my own again and perplexed by this aspect of inhumanity on a supposed support forum and what to do about it.

 

PS - I want to hear you call me Pooky Bear again.

Edited September 22, 2010 by Caradavine

[blueline]

Aubrey,

 

I miss your presence so f*cking much. The way you looked at me with those adoring brown eyes, the way we would spend all night talking about nothing with each other, the way we would kiss each other so deeply and intensely in the mornings, and the way we'd make each other late to work because we couldn't stop talking with each other and made each other melt whenever we looked at one another. I adored you. I gave you everything. I let you in.

 

...and you proceeded to crush everything like a herd of wild elephants in the jungle. You had no regard for my feelings ever. I think the most sensitive thing you did was let me go. The only reason I was so harsh with you at times was because you had hit on some deep seated insecurity/suffering and you knew it. You told me I had "daddy issues" when I was refusing to talk about the death of my father with you (well, yeah, of course I'm not going to do that with you, you're a terrible person who doesn't understand loss), you told me I needed to get circumcised (what the f*ck), and you told me that I'm all image (and then tried to reframe it as if you meant to say that I care about my appearance). I was miserable when I was with you and I was miserable without you. You sucked all of the happiness right out of my system. You used me for my easy going, overall happy, and non-judgmental personality so you could help yourself get over whatever psychological problems you had.

 

I will never talk to you again besides an obnoxiously friendly "hi!" with a wide smile on my face whenever I bump into you. As soon as I get a new girlfriend (it's going to be any day now), I'm going to walk by your place of work with her. I know that's going to trigger your BPD reflex to attempt to ensare me again and it's not going to work because this girl is mentally stable, fun/spontaneous, actually a caring person, extremely articulate and much cuter than you are.

[bestrong]

I am fighting the desire to talk to you every single day. Sometimes I wonder what would I do if you are right infront of me. Would I give you a hug and say hi? Or I would just try to smile and be butt hurt inside? I don't know if I still have feelings towards you, I hid everything about you, even your friends' news feed on fb. I froze the feeling and hopefully I will not feel the sadness when I think about you one day. I hope you are doing well

[Caradavine]

Well, you called me at 3 am in the morning after work, just like you said. Being ever the optimist, I am now waiting for the day you won't call because it's bound to happen. I am forgettable. I wish we were married like we planned; we would be coming home from the honeymoon tonight. I would be in the momentary bliss of a honeymoon, sitting in the passenger seat while you silently drove and listened to music. I would drowsily watch the dark scenery passing by as I realized time and time again that I was your wife, and that little jump would happen in my heart like when a car rushes over a slight hill. I might be able to sleep when we get home or I might lay there with Adult Swim on and keep looking back at your face as you slept, this time with the hope and confidence of a love eternal.

 

I know things would eventually return to normal and we would have fights about why you're working so late, why you don't want to spend much time with me, and how your needs always come first. I have always known through each horrible one that we would make it through because our love is a super glue. Do you remember that time we were watching Discovery Channel and it talked about a female fish whose male mate would latch onto her side with its teeth and remain there? Remember how you would joke that it was just like us? I enjoyed that analogy; it made me feel special and I wanted so much more of that.

 

The super glue gave way, though, didn't it? And now the hole in my side is just a gaping, empty blackness that throbs with the memory of your teeth.