Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[collegeguy_24]

This is homecoming week at Montana State Jen, and we both planned on going to all the events together. You were so excited to get to go with me.

 

Now you have another man.

 

I will admit, I am sad, bitter, and depressed.

 

I just can't understand, how you said you loved me one day, an the next you hook up with another man. You said to me that the day after you left me that Jakub asked you out, and you said yes. Meanwhile you were telling me to wait and see if we could get back together! You were with him the entire time!

 

Now I have him and his friends hounding me, telling me how often you swallow for him, how your nothing but a sex toy and how he won, and I can't defend you or tell you cause you won't believe me!

 

Even the people in your own dorm think lowly of you, and I tried to defend you, but dammit its hard when most of what they said, is true, and from your own mouth no less!

 

I have begun to question our relationship, was it even a relationship, was it all a lie, did I mean anything to you? If I meant anything to you, how the hell were you able to jump another man so fast? Guess that means I was never in your heart.

 

I still love you though, I honestly do, and that hurts because I know I can not have you. Even now, I am ready, and willing to do anything, to sacrifice anything, to have you back.

 

I tried dating other women, but I can't have them, either because i'm not good enough, or because I don't think we are a match.

 

You don't even know how much pain you caused me. You don't even know of my suicide attempt, because I was so low, and I still haven't climbed out yet.

 

I sill love you, and if you wanted another chance, I would yes. There would be conditions, and you would have a lot of work to do, but I would still say yes.

[Gdunkman]

I don't hate you because you left me. I did a lot for you and us, that's not what I think, your friends and relatives think so, you didn't value it, but that's not why I hate you.

 

I hate you for your lie. After three months living together in November you were not happy with me, that's what you wrote in your journal and showed me much later, when we broke up. Why did it take you 6 more months to decide to leave me? Why did you tell me you were happy with me and that you loved me? After you left me, why did you tell me you were afraid to lose me? The only your reason was you were afraid nobody would love you as much as I did. Why did you give me chances, if you knew you don't need me anymore? It was very selfish thing to do. That's why the only emotion I have now is hate. I don't feel guilty for it, I think you deserve my hate.

[Banker Chick]

I've tried to hang in there and see if this will work. I continue to be let down by your immature and idiotic behavior. Each incident brings me closer to just completely shutting this down.

 

Today might very well have been the last straw. I won't go into details here but you once again showed so little regard for my feelings. Yes, you texted me that you were sorry but the damage was done.

 

I have no desire to respond because I have nothing to say to you and I'm mad ... probably more at myself because I continue to tolerate this asinine behavior. I definitely deserve better.

 

I really need to let this go. I just need to find the strength somewhere because you always seem to say and do the right things right when I'm ready to cut you out of my life for good.

[Username37]

What's up quitter?

 

What do you mean by "don't get high expectations" on the topic of your new boyfriend?

 

Are you just using him?

 

You're ****ed up. You are a lonely, insecure, little girl who needs to be checked.

 

Feel bad for the guy....now is carrying your heavy baggage.

[SadGirl23]

I don't hate you, but I certainly regret ever liking you! You are pathetic, weak pus%y of a man. Took my money that I loaned you for college, and had the nerve to break up with me! I should of broke up with your broke a%s, but no, I loved you so much that I didn't care. I knew I deserved better, but I stay with your pathetic as%, because my heart loved you, but my mind said I need someone who will treat me so much better! Now, I don't talk to you as I went NC, and you wanted to know if I still give a shyt about you? Probably not so much about you, but as to why you hurt ME! Because you jerk, it's not all about you. Hopefully one day you will wake up and realize that! I can't stand you, believe me baby, I am better than you. I will never wish anything bad on you, not even on my worse enemy, but I am blessed to have everything going in my life right now! You text me the other day because you want me to feel sorry for your pathetic a%s, soo your about to lose your house? NOT my problem anymore. You are not my man, I could give 2 cents. Sorry, but always remember, you don't bite the hand that fed you! Cry me a river you son of a b*&ch!

[TLCbear]

DN,

 

How could you continously tell me you love me and hurt me throughtout the relationship? Why would you tell me how amazing I am, how special I was to you and yet hurt me? How could you possible do the same thing over and over again to hurt me when I gave you numerous of chances to improve yourself? Why could you not be honest and let me know you couldn't be the man for me? You are such a liar and cheater and yes I hate you right now, for what you did to our relationship. It would have been perfect if it wasn't for your lies and secretive ways. But I guess you enjoy drama and inflicting pain upon other people...I now see why your family is the way they are in regards to you. However, I felt sorry for you instead, well, not anymore. You are a sorry piece of **** and I hope you get what you deserve x 10. So go back to your drama filled life with same type of ghetto hoes you had before me because you will never find anyone remotely close to me.

 

Oh yeah, and I just loved how you called me and made me seem like the bad and crazy one, acting like you have no clue why I'm no longer taking your calls, why I'm acting crazy...when you know it's you who pushed me to this breaking point, it's you who can't sit down and communicate effectively, and it's you who can't be honest. So be my guest, go ahead and play the victim like you seem to do sooo well and tell the next chick I'm crazy, blah blah, blah, because I don't care.

[TLCbear]

Here I am today feeling so good the first part of day...until I try to get some sleep...but I can't because you are on my mind. Why did you have to push me to my break point? Why in the world can't you stop doing what you have been doing? I don't know, but I wish you would because I know then our relationship would be great. But now I'm so angry, so angry at you for ****ing that up, for hurting me. I pray for the day I can sleep peacefully again and you are no longer on my mind...but for now, I just have to deal with it day by day until time heal me...can't rush it, lol, but how I wish I can. Did I forget to mention you're a piece of ****? ... if not, yeah, you're a piece of ****.

[PSG]

I just don't understand how you could hurt me so badly. Everyday I tried to do at least one thing special for you....even it was just to tell you that you looked handsome. You KNOW me. You KNEW how this would break my heart. What is wrong with you???

[LoveTNT]

M,

 

Your B-day is on the 16th, and as it gets closer and closer, I feel as though there might be some relief after it passes. I knew beginning of healing. I just don't want to feel guilty for not reaching out. I've thought of mailing you a card for your b-day, or emailing you, but honestly I doubt I'll reach out, I can't break NC. I'm scared. I don't want any new hurt, I hope you understand. I hope you don't get angry that I didn't contact you. Believe me.

 

I think about your email that you sent, asking if I still love you. I didn't respond. But I do everyday to myself, yes I do, I still Love you...

 

Yesterday, as I turned off the light-fan in my room, I watched it slowly stop and I remembered the time when I had really bad allergies and out of your sweet-kind heart, you wet a rag and cleaned off all the dust that had built up on it. you believed it was causing the allergies. You did many things like this to show your love for me.

 

I appreciate the goodness and continue to learn the lessons from all the madness that went down.

 

I pray everyday for the strength and understanding, on why we had to part.

 

I hope you have a safe b-day, please don't drink and drive Brat.

 

Take care .....

[Username37]

Are you aware that you're using this new boy as a puppet? You don't care for him.

[You Go Girl]

Reading this thread made me feel it is the most precious thread on LS. Page after page, people releasing their pain. The humanity, compassion for what I read, and seeing just how much people had to love to feel that much pain....

My turn.

You'll probably never read this. I think you've stopped stalking my LS posts. It was a good thing more than likely, because it wasn't doing you a bit of good. Just like I logged into FB last night for the first time in a year, and saw that you had de-friended me. Good one.

I don't think you will ever realize the degree of pain you caused me. I think it would tear you up to much to acknowledge it. What was the most unbelievable, were the times that you were witnessing my pain, when I was a total wreck, tears streaming down my face, and you sat there in denial, gaslighting even through such visible pain you were witnessing. How, how, how, could you do that to a person you loved?

Last night I cleared out almost all of my emails from the account you pay for. It was like a trip back in time. I had to look at so many of them to decide whether to keep them and forward them or not. And I was astounded at just how much I hung on, in pain, all those years, with such hope, determination, that you would be for me the husband you should have been.

I am a strong woman. Too strong. A weaker one wouldn't have put up with that for so long. I took it, endured, self-sacrificed, because I loved you. But what it did to me, I wonder if I will ever be whole again. I feel ruined, destroyed.

I refuse to own the pain that you caused me. You did cause it. I never stood a chance against your addictions. You walked into a vulnerable woman's life who was raising a young child, and brought your twisted thinking with you. And I, in turn, neglected my daughter for years. She may never recouperate, because those were tender growing years. I own that. But I'll be damned if I will not place this particular blame where it lies, which isn't on my shoulders, but on yours.

So good ahead. Fix yourself. Let the next woman have the man I should have. Or stay arrogant until your life is over. I have never met a bigger ego in my entire life. I have also never loved as passionately.

Is love like that, with that much passion, a curse? A toxic combination?

Why, oh why, wouldn't you just stand up and be the man you should have?

Yes, I was dysfunctional. Hello! Who wouldn't be? Our lives were insane, because, even as you put it one time, you had to hover above ground a few feet instead of putting your feet firmly on the ground where they belong for any HUMBLE honest person.

And I gave you what you wanted during our courtship. I fed your ego. I gave you that status you wanted-- demigod. That's my fault. Vulnerable and insecure at that time without realizing it. I helped feed the monster.

 

I truly only wish you the best. I wish you health, stability, success, and humble self-love with the friggin' ego trip, the thing you've always been missing. I wish you strength to see yourself through fixing what you know is wrong. And one day, I hope to pass you on the street, you unaware of my presence, because I'd love to witness you whole.

What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Through my tears, I hope I am strong enough to save myself. Because NOTHING has ever taxed my hope, my happiness, and left me so much in despair. I just don't know if I'm strong enough for this. Nobody has ever had the power to destroy me like you did. This is testing my endurance, my ability to survive, more than anything probably ever will. And I just don't know if I'm gonna make it.

[PSG]

Still reeling......can't believe you did this. Also can't believe you haven't even called or emailed to see how I am. After 15 years??? Not that I would answer but I just thought might care just a little. I don't want to hate you. It seems after 15 years we should at least emerge with a friendship but don't think I need friends like you. Friends care about each other not just themselves. Still haven't told my family and no clue if you told yours. Can't believe your brother was in town just last week and we were all at dinner...him saying how lucky you were to have me. WTF??? You knew that whole time what you were planning to do to me. How could you just sit there and smile?

[lofi_tokyo]

So! I had a huge realization today. Its about myself, and its huge. You know why I started smothering you? Because when I get involved, my project becomes my relationship. Everything becomes the relationship I'm in. I lose sight of my life goals. So then I cling to the person I'm dating. I need to keep my mind occupied with thoughts of planning for the future, and when I stop planning I start only thinking about the person I'm dating (thats you).

 

I want to call you and tell you this. I want to say I know you think we're not working because I'm always upset and we can't change who we are. I want to convince you thats not how it is. I have problems and I need to work on them. You have problems too - and if you want to work on them, thats cool. If you want to be who you are, thats even better.

 

I'm not going to call today. I may have to post here 1000x to stop myself from doing so. I'm not going to call because if I called to tell you all this - I'd be doing it for me, because I want to know things are good. You on the other hand, need space.

 

I don't think you'll believe what I'm saying is sincere if I call after a measley two days of NC!

[michaelc82]

I don't want to be old n' grey.

 

Regretting the only love of my life that got away.

 

I've never met a girl as beautiful as you.

 

Your soul, your heart, it's the truest thing I know.

 

It's been almost 1 month now since we've spoken.

 

I wake up every morning with a heart that's broken.

 

I still think about you daily, even in my dreams which haunt me nightly.

 

I still love you Domonique, you are the girl I want to marry and spend the rest of my life with.

 

You consume every part of me, You are the fire that burns in my heart that makes me want to conquer anything and everything..

 

Yet it tears my heart apart knowing that I don't have the strength to talk to you or make any contact what so ever.

 

I dream about you everyday day, hoping to see your number come up on my phone or your sweet smile at my front door. I miss you so much D. More than you could ever imagine. I really hope you find a man that can love you as much as I love you.

 

From every single part of my heart n' soul. I don't know when I'll get over you.

 

Michael

[Crazy4what]

M,

 

Your B-day is on the 16th, and as it gets closer and closer, I feel as though there might be some relief after it passes. I knew beginning of healing. I just don't want to feel guilty for not reaching out. I've thought of mailing you a card for your b-day, or emailing you, but honestly I doubt I'll reach out, I can't break NC. I'm scared. I don't want any new hurt, I hope you understand. I hope you don't get angry that I didn't contact you. Believe me.

 

I think about your email that you sent, asking if I still love you. I didn't respond. But I do everyday to myself, yes I do, I still Love you...

 

Yesterday, as I turned off the light-fan in my room, I watched it slowly stop and I remembered the time when I had really bad allergies and out of your sweet-kind heart, you wet a rag and cleaned off all the dust that had built up on it. you believed it was causing the allergies. You did many things like this to show your love for me.

 

I appreciate the goodness and continue to learn the lessons from all the madness that went down.

 

I pray everyday for the strength and understanding, on why we had to part.

 

I hope you have a safe b-day, please don't drink and drive Brat.

 

Take care .....

 

wow did he really do that much damage that you engaged NC at this level?

 

Back to topic,

 

 

Hey why didnt you call or text me? why you always wait for my text or calls? Yeah I pay for your phone bills, I still love you you gave me multiple chances and NOW its my turn???? ha???? you made me feel obligated bcoz you keep telling me im a jerk and did nothing???? O yeah??? look im still patience in this relationship... thinking and learning how to get you back!!!! HOW???? By releasing all stress that can lead to arguments when we are on the phone!!!! but I dont regret loving you this much, it is so fun and thank you for loving me this much also.... Maybe maybe ILL call you tommorrow... NOO!!!!!!!

Edited October 12, 2010 by Crazy4what

[LoveTNT]

M,

 

So I prayed about it and I decided to email you yesterday to wish you a happy birthday. I feel as though you might be mad at me for not reaching out when you emailed me about 2 weeks ago. I was hurt. I need to protect myself. You wanted me to leave you alone. I'm sorry I broke up with you out of anger and I know that you feel I will do it again that is why you weren't sure about working it out. It was just really hard seeing your email asking me if I loved you.I felt it was selfish, because you know how devastated I was and how bad I wanted to work things out. Why would you ask that. I know why because I left you alone I went NC. But you told me to leave you alone..!

 

Anyhow, I emailed you yesterday to wish you a happy b-day I meant everything I said. I didn't go personal into our relationship but I did say some loving words. I do love you, you might be telling yourself I don't anymore.

 

Trust me a big part of me wants to forgive and move forward with you. I do think about it being your b-day this weekend and how sweet it would be if we could have some wine under the stars and just talk and not worry about the past, but I can't ask you to do that with me, I don't want to get rejected and spin out again....

 

I too am afraid of the thought that you no longer love me the way you did....

 

Some people say sometimes you don't get closure and you just move forward, but a part of me would like to talk to you and see how we both feel, even if it wasn't the same anymore and we moved on separately...It would just give me that relief of at least knowing you don't love me anymore....

 

I still love you though, it was so deep... these 2 months can't erase that....

[EyeAlone]

Dear Antoine,

 

Remember how I would write an email to you after work/school to tell you how my day was on the nights that we didn't see each other? Well, here's my last message to you.

 

Wow. You really did a good job of fooling me. I know we had a rough start but I thought you were eventually coming along. Apparently not! When I first met you, I thought you were 100x better than my previous ex. I could not have been any more wrong. I really thought highly of you but now it is time to take you off the pedestal and into the garbage can with the rest of my exes. While I was getting my oil changed, I took some time to compose a list of all the things I dislike about you:

 

-Your stutter. God, it would take you a whole minute to spit out a word while I sat there. I am a very patient person but that would annoy me. You need to be more proactive and see a speech therapist regularly.

-No A/C. Sh*t, when it is 90 degrees outside and you refuse to turn on the A/C, that should be a red flag in itself. I hated being sweaty when I visited you.

-Drove slow. I understand that you want to be a safe driver but sometimes you went too slow on city streets and that annoyed me.

-Scars on your back. I felt awkward hugging you because I could feel all of your moles, scars, and bumps on your back. I'm not trying to be superficial but you really should get that taken care of. That's why dermatologists exist.

-Gross food. Remember that time when we went to your favorite tea house and I said that I liked the tea that you bought for me? I lied. It tasted like crap.

-Saying that I make you feel uncomfortable. I should have dumped you instantly when you said that certain aspects of myself made you feel uncomfortable. But I was too nice and stupid.

-Disdain for plush toys. Ah, yes. This was one of the things that made you feel uncomfortable. It's not like I slept with them at night. Just like you have rocks scattered all over your apartment, those plush toys were merely mementos.

-Elitism regarding travel. Yep, another thing that made you feel uncomfortable. You felt so much more elite because you have traveled more than myself. If this was going to be such a big issue then you should have left instantly rather than drag this sh*t out.

-Baggage. You had issues with intimacy and opening up because of all your baggage with your previous exes. Well, here's to adding to more baggage!

-Unibrow. I don't need to explain this.

-Hated sports. I'm not looking for a guy that wants to watch sports all the time, but you could have at least tried to like one sport.

 

Well, there you have it. Looking at my list, I wonder why in the world I tolerated you. Yep, I said it: tolerate. I hope you never need a psychiatrist like your previous ex, but if you do, please don't come see me. I won't need business that badly.

 

Oh, just one more thing. I would like to let you know that ALL of my exes come back a few months later BEGGING me to take them back. ALL of them. Of course I have never taken them back because by then I have found someone better. How does that saying go...? Oh yes, history repeats itself. I look forward to hearing from you when I'm in a happier relationship.

 

-A

[Banker Chick]

C-

Yes, we've been trying now for over a month to "work on things" but I've continually had my doubts .. I mean ... I fought with you all those times for a reason, right? I can't just pretend now that we didn't have issues and that I was happy with you.

 

This Sunday though you once again did something to show how selfish and self-absorbed you are. That was the nail in the coffin. I no longer want you to be part of my life, there's really no reason, not even as friends because you weren't my friend ... even that was a one way street with you.

 

You have texted me now twice and I'm choosing to ignore you. You'll see it as me being a bitch but I'm past caring. I tried to tell you several weeks ago that we needed to let this go and that meant not contacting me and you basically refused to respect my wishes and said you'd do it anyway so me trying to explain my feelings and reasons now will only be met with your arguments and refusals and I just don't want to deal with it.

 

I'm sorry it's come to this but I need to move on once and for all.

[Gironbachs]

K,

 

we haven't spoken in almost 6 weeks. I miss you. I have my bad days and good days, but mostly I still can't forget all the promises and declarations - thats what hurts the most. You said you wanted to be my wife, a week before you ended everything, I didn't so anything wrong, I did nothing but love you and support you and that hurts. I miss you, I miss us, but I'm not going to contact you. That's entirely up to you. Hopefully if and when you ever do, I'll have the strength to tell you to go **** yourself. I've tried getting angry and I just can't. Despite that, I hope you're lonely and miserable

 

B

[Sonolumino]

You don’t give a **** about me. Because if you did, you wouldn’t have rolled your eyes at me when I told you I loved you. You wouldn’t have walked away from me disgusted and pissed off after I poured my heart out to you. You went and replaced me 5 weeks after we broke up, then immediately stopped talking to me as soon as you found someone else. You tried 10 days after our 4 year relationship to get with another guy and he didn't want anything to do with you. Then you lied to my face about it. You don’t treat somebody that you loved like that. Ever. You were literally annoyed that I still had feelings for you because you couldn’t understand what I was thinking, because you think you’re the only person in the world. You thought “well I don’t love him anymore, why would he still love me?”. You went and told people how “obsessed” I was with you, when we both know that’s a lie. I never would’ve gone to Ashley’s party if I didn’t think you wanted me to go. I even told you after we went outside and kissed “sorry if I made you feel awkward tonight” you said “You didn’t make me feel awkward”. Why would you set me up like that? If I didn’t make you feel awkward why tell people that? Nobody has ever made me feel so worthless. If you didn’t love me anymore, say it to my face. If I didn’t love you anymore I’d have the balls to say it to your face and accept the consequences for it. Don’t hide behind bull**** reasons like “you were always late”. After 4 years, if my being late bothered you then you should have ended it after 2 months. You don’t know what it’s like to wake up every day and be totally numb to the world and not have the urge to do anything. You don’t know what it feels like to feel like you’ll never be happy again. You don’t know what it’s like to not want to get out of bed in the morning because there is a literal weight on your heart that you can feel. You don’t know what it’s like because you tried to bury whatever feelings you had for me in someone else as fast as you could. All I did for you was fulfill that boyfriend need that you have. I wasn’t special; I was just a boyfriend that went on for a longer time. You know how I know that I meant nothing to you? By how fast you found a new boyfriend. And that you were pissed off I told you I still had feelings for you. We went from lovers to strangers in 2 months. Like it never happened. I don’t understand how I can be depressed for months after and you just switch off your feelings for me. I loved you with everything I had unconditionally and you ripped my heart out and didn’t think twice about it. I doubt you even had feelings for me in the first place to be honest, because how could you “move on” so fast? Explain that one to me. Actions talk, bull**** walks. Oh, and your new boyfriend is a complete dumbass by the way. I wonder how fast you'll erase him too? I am almost ashamed I was with you. I wish you would've grown the **** up while we were together and realized that when I say those three words to you I meant them. I am not over you yet but I'm getting there. I hope one day you see that I was a good person to you and you actually remember me. But alas, all I'm left with is nothingness.

[EyeAlone]

Ant-

 

A few more things before I sleep soundly in bed. We would bond over our distaste for the city that we currently live in. Remember when we went on our camping trip and all of the agony we felt when we had to drive back to the city? I'm glad to say that I will only have to experience this agony for 7 more months. Thank you for breaking up with me because now I will no longer feel guilty leaving this city after I graduate in May. You, on the other hand, are stuck here indefinitely with those horrible colleagues that you would always complain about and your boring 8-5 job in front of the computer. Enjoy this hell hole!

 

Aha, I see you've already put your Match.com profile back up. Didn't waste any time, eh? You told me how you hated that website because all of the girls there are Christian, conservative, and work for oil companies. You also get to deal with girls mentioning that they like dogs in their profiles and the fact that you're terrified of dogs (wtf?). Have fun sifting through them again! Be careful, you may find another one that calls you gay because you listened to Katy Perry when you drove her home. I never complained about your music choices or questioned your sexuality. But hey, I guess that wasn't good enough.

 

-A

[Marcia]

I want to say-

You have lost a lot of love and I doubt that any other woman is going to understand your difficult ways. One day you will see what you had. Bye.

[Ajax]

I can do better than you. I just don't want to.

[Sonolumino]

I should do better than you. I just wished you loved me as much as I love you. I wish you understood me as well as I understand you. I wish you didn't replace me so quickly. I wish you realized how bad this is literally killing me. I wish you thought it was odd that you could get over it so fast. I wish you thought I mattered. I wish I could hold you one more time, maybe then I'd feel something. Now he gets to **** you and hold you and love you, and I'm here venting on a website. I'm angry and I long for so many things, but mainly, it is to see you once again. I have lost almost all passion in my life, I think you took some of it with you when you left. I'll get over you though. Hopefully one day it will hit you this hard and you'll realize what a mistake you made, because I was worth the effort you didn't give.

[hurt and devastated]

Happy Anniversary!!

 

Funny, I didn't quite picture spending it this way.