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polywog

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Haven't heard your voice since Saturday afternoon, eventhough you called a couple more times that day and Sunday. Sorry I missed those calls, but just can't call you. I want to stay NC and not break this time. However, if you call, I will talk to you sometimes. Just want to let you know I still love and miss you eventhough you hurt me. I haven't really missed you yet, but I think about you everyday and you consume my mind in a general way. Hope you got that job. Right now, I'm no longer mad at you, but I still hope you suffer and regret the things you did to me. It's just so amazing how you can be this loving and kind person, then have this dark secret side to you. Anyway, you have a B-day coming up, so don't expect me to go out of my way to wish you one Mr. Scorpio, guess many were right when they say scorpios are crazy.

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Sluts who look like sluts are safe, sluts who look like angels are dangerous, especially the ones who can hide their nature for more than a year.

 

I have an idea for you! You should write "How to build a family in two weeks": 1. Take ANY man who is ready to f*** you. 2. Move to his place in two weeks. 3. Write "Happy family" in your livejournal.

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strength-abounds
Sluts who look like sluts are safe, sluts who look like angels are dangerous, especially the ones who can hide their nature for more than a year.

 

I have an idea for you! You should write "How to build a family in two weeks": 1. Take ANY man who is ready to f*** you. 2. Move to his place in two weeks. 3. Write "Happy family" in your livejournal.

 

My God that's funny.

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I'm missing you greatly today and I wonder do you feel the same? Probably not, I think you hate me, I was so bad to you and mean. I still love you, but I want to let go, I do, it is so difficult!!! Yes you annoyed me ALOT and I would get fed up with you. I feel as if I lost you anyway since you put all the blame on me. What can I do just take it one day at a time until my head is clearer and I think of you no more. What a great time we did have. I love you dearly at this moment, just wanted you to know. Yes I know love is not enough, because I know you do not have the feeling to marry or have children and I would like to have a child and I know this would cause a problem for us, because I want things you do not want so how can we remain together? Maybe you will have that with another when the time is right for you, that is why I need to let you go, let you find your way and happiness. I too will find mine. Goodbye.

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ReturnToSender

Since you have yet to reply to my last message, Ill take it that my gut feeling was right. Yet again. I dont know why you feel compelled to tell me all the time how much you love me, how much you miss me, how you cant wait to see me, when you obviously dont. Finally after all this time, things have been super nice between us...and then you have to go on to purposely blow me off like this. You say you dont like drama and craziness, but seeing how it seems you cant stand it that things have been so cool and had to do something to shake it up, Id have to say you thrive on it.

 

Im still the same old boring girl who wants to love and be loved...that whole crazy drama thing, not for me. If thats what you get off on, then more power to you.. Im sure youll find another drug addict alcoholic gf who runs around sleeping with your friends, screaming at you in public who will give you that rush of excitement you seem to crave. Im not her. I think you love whining about how your relatinship is in the toilet and how your woman makes you feel like youre waking up having a stroke every day. I dont want a man who gets off on that. Kiddo and I are not your weekend-warrier rent-a-family to come to and spend time with when you want to "feel normal" No youre not normal, not sayng i am, but at least Im not bat **** crazy and trying to sabatoge any good thing that happens to me. You can do tht without me. We broke up a year ago, wtf...theres no point to any of this!

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I wish we'd not met up to exchange those things, you're right is was a bad idea, but why the hell did we then meet up later on that same day, i wish things hadn't gone as far as they did its thrown me right back in the middle of it all.

 

I still love you so much, but we can't be together because of what you did, i wish so much what happened hadn't but it did and thats the cards we were dealt.

 

I hear your possibly moving away, are you moving or running... you're not the only one who can't be arsed with their life at the minute and wants to start a fresh.

 

God i'm still so gutted about what became of us, you really really screwed us and me over and although i don't like to think of you suffering i hope the guilt over what happened and you missing me is affecting you as much as it is me. A part of me hopes you're still struggling with it a good while after i'm well and truly over it.

 

I know i'm going to get through this eventually i just need time to grieve and heal, i really hope i love someone like i loved you in the future and the next time i'm just allowed to love them with no complications.

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please call me.

 

tell me you miss me.

 

tell me you made a mistake.

 

Appreciate me?

 

tell me you still love me?

 

Tell me its been as hard for you as it has been for me?

 

Baby I miss you so much. I will always love you x

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Dear Anna,

 

I put the last of my energy into making sure you were doing well. Instead you returned it by coming up with 5 different excuses as to why you didn't want to be with me.

 

Why bother wasting either of our times by inviting me to visit?

 

Rot in hell, bitch.

 

Ryan

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I'd like to say to my ex.

 

You are a slut and I hate you for all the things You've lied to me about. I hope everyone find out about how you behaved and you'll get it back hopefully soon for all the bad Karma you've done. I dont trust women now because of you and I hate the Army. I hated the fact that you always had an excuse for everything you've done. And never even took the blame for the crap you did. I hate how you treated you own kids. Always complaining about how you never got to spend any time with them and every chance you actually had to spend with them you went out and partied. And even tried to drown your own kid at some points. And beat them. I hate you for turning me into something I'm not. And Screwing up my life for nothing. And I hate how you think you did everything for me when in reality it was only for yourself. I hate how you couldnt keep your own legs closed when it came to any other guy. And then came up with excuses for even that. And I hate how dirty you are. I'd rather slurp Rancid tuna salad out of my own @ss then ever sleep with you again. I pitty the people you lie to everyday and make them think like you something special when your really not. I hate the fact that you've told me that you think I'm full of drama and lies when it wasn't me that was unfaithful and is screwing up her own kids. I had to keep them safe from you. I hate how you always use to delete every text on your phone from all the guys you were screwing and flirting with behind my back. I hope you burst into flames and die slowly for all that you've done. And I really hate you for never letting you stupid ex go after 4 years of trying to keep you and the kids safe from him what did you do. You brought him down to colorado Springs. I really hope that people start seeing you for what you really are. And eventually you will get yourself into serious trouble with one of the people your screwing over and I wont be there to ever help you. And I swear I hope I hear about it. So I can do a toast to your pain and misery...............

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I don't know what to say cause there is so much pain inside.

I hate when I look at your fb page cause I hate u. I hate u so ***ing much. I wish I could spit in your ****ing face. I wish I could stab u in your heart. I wish I could pull all your mother****ing hair out. I wish I could slab the **** out of u. I ahte u deep deep deep deep deepd deep inside. I hate that I think about you so much. I hate that its taking so long to get over some like a bitch like u. I hate that I trust u. There is so much hate inside . I want to kill u and wipe u off the face of this earth. I'm sick of u and sick of it. I'm so tired of u u u u u u u u u. You ain't ****. You ain't worth it and that bitch u are with ain't worth **** either. I hate u both. I can't stand her ****ing ass. I wish hell and nothing good in your life. Why the **** are u on my mind like u are important when u are not. I ahte u. I hate u. I hate u. I hate u so much. Garbage!!111111I just want to scream!

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Take care of yourself baby.

 

I will always love you.

 

Find a man than can treat you like a princess, okay?

 

Please dont settle. You will always put a smile on my face.

 

Dont be offended we cant be friends, but I need my dignity/pride.

 

Dont forget your the most beautiful girl in the world and nothing compares to you. Yep I still hold you on that pedastool.

 

Sending you billions of hugs and kisses for the final time.

 

Mwah, mwah, mwah.

 

Take sugar plum.

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Your dick wasn't that good and u didn't eat good pussyy either. I faked so many orgasms. I love and hate u at the same time. You think u all that but u alright in so many ways with your non spelling ass. it funny that you can't keep a job. It cause u think u are so much better than everybody else. U not stupid!!!!! Cheap ...I hate almost every gift u gave me. They were alright. You thought u was doing something. I'm gonna be so happy one day that you are gone. Its so good to tell u how I really feel. Your not worth my pain my tears. Your a jackass!!!!!!!1!1111111!111!

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Well, no response from my last message, so I guess you have nothing more to say. Its lame that when I wanted to end the convo, you come back asking me not to be mad at you and then end up saying something so offensive.

 

I wasnt even thinking about our romantic relationship, it was just great to finally be able to see and be in touch with you and things were so nice between us, but you made me realize now that Im settling for niceties, and settling for friendship even though I actually love you and want more than that with you. But even as friends it woudlnt work, cause the friends I have look forward to seeing me and love to hear from me and value me. You claim to love me but want less to do with me than anyone I know.

 

Its my own fault for not doing this sooner...I chose to keep things open between us, I chose to believe there was more to us than there was, and Im choosing now to stop. I know Ive said it before, but time I mean it...dont write me, text me, call me.. Dont tell me how devestated you are or how much you love me or that Im the one walking away, you walked away a year ago... Im just accepting the choice you made which ended our relationship as we knew it and not going to allow myself keep thinking theres any hope for us. This has dragged out a year now. Im done.

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I have nothing to say to you really. :) I'm content with my life, sorry things didn't work out but I'm happy just being me. Hey better luck with the next guy and the next guy and the next guy and the next guy and the next guy and the next guy lol oh and hopefully you can get to where I am now sooner then I did. adios little girl. :)

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I have to do this. I have to let you go. All this hoping is killing me slowly. I have to tell myself every day to let it go and that it's over. A big part of me is afraid to let you go and leave you alone completely because I don't want you to think I don't love or care for you, but you know what, that's just dumb, I still do and these past few weeks I have let you know but you continue to stay distant for your own reasons which I have to respect.

 

I have to do this for me, IT IS OVER. Some people are just not meant to be...

 

I'm happy I stayed sober this weekend. I got dressed up and went out with my girls, I held it down and did not drink. I know I'm more emotional then other days currently and drinking would have made it worse than I currently feel.

 

I'm not your mother, I can't tell you how to live, learn from your mistakes... I'll let you be....

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You could come crawling on your knees begging for forgiveness. You could do everything to make up for what you have done to me.

 

But it's too late. I gave you so many chances. The only thing greater than my love for you is my determination to leave you behind for good.

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Burn in hell wench, invite me down to visit, then shoot me down. Does crushing me feel like a good past time to you?

 

There's a throne in hell for the Queen Devil Bitch with your name on it.

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Hey sweetie

 

Remember how i used to always call you that? Wonder if you miss it at all? I wonder if you miss the fun we used to have, or have you really just replaced me with someone else. What kind of person are you really?

 

You don't realise what you have done to me, I had you down and the sweetest person in the world. Seriously you had a heart of gold and I've never met such a nice person in my entire life, but how can you just ditch me for someone else after 2 and half years...all those memories, tainted.

 

**** today was hard, just non stop ups and downs as usual and today at work I kept seeing couples, couples we which reminded me of us, couples which heartbreakingly remind me of what you're probably being like now with someone else....right under my ****in nose you did this to me.

 

I would have never dreamed of doing this to you, and I always made you laugh and made you happy. I was your dream guy you told me, we had our future ahead of us and I'd finally found 'the one'

 

Damn this NC thing is so hard but I dont even think I can take you back anymore, its slowly sinking in just what you've done and how much of a ****in betraying bitch you really are. How can you sleep at night?!?

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strength-abounds

N.

 

I don't believe I'm writing this to you. I have been so steadfast in my resolve to hate you that I didn't have a chance to address us. I was fine until I heard you had some stuff for me because you said I would need it. That tells me you have some feelings for me and that truly hurts because I want to hate you so bad.

 

I will never send this to you or ever entertain the possibility of contacting you. I know if I reach out to you, the addiction I have for you will resurface, even after all this time. I were the only woman that ever touched me enough to consider marriage. I hate to say that but it's the truth. I just hope you know that my decision to go back to school was for US and the kids. I am deeply sorry that you and I will never be able to reap the rewards of this decision together. God forbid, should I not make it through my next tour, I always loved you the best way I knew how. I'm sorry it wasn't enough for you.

 

I hear that it takes a strong woman to be the wife of a LEO. I hoped that you wanted the job. Take care and PLEASE becareful with the new guy, I have heard he's bad news.

 

Love always and forever, even if you never find out.

B

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This horrible movie is almost over. Thnk god. I read somewhere that maybe in 6 months I willl deel better. That is good news. I wonder do u miss me or see any errors in your ways. I know there is no happiness in the past. No happiness in the past. No happiness in the past. I hope I meet someone soon that I really like. It seems so hard for me to meet someone I can enjoy but I'm working on it. I don't want to be by myself. I wish u would give me a sign that u still loved me or really cared for me or thought more of me but I think your gone for good with your new gf and could care less. I'm out your hair and good. So anywell I'm off to another day and I hope you will not think about u anymore today. The movie is over!!!!the movie is over the movie is over. The movie is over! Marriage...you marrying her...man...I can't deal with that news. Ithe movie is over the movie is over the movie is over the bad movie is over. The bad movie is over. The bad movie is over. The bad movie is over

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collegeguy_24

Hello Jen, its been a while.

 

Thought I'd drop by, see how you are. I am no longer angry at you, in fact, I feel pity for you. I've been hearing how ever since you left me for another man your luck has been on the down turn. You've been getting sicker and sicker as time goes on, one illness after another. Your grades have been suffering in your classes, your friends lives are falling apart, and everyone in your dorm thinks lowly of you and your BF. Life sucks eh?

 

Even your own mother said that if she believed in such things, then it would seem a sign is being given. You screwed up, bad. You downgraded from a guy like me to a douche-bag.

 

After you left me, for months I felt low, I felt like a failure, I felt like I failed you and forced you away. But you know what, I've recently begun to learn that it wasn't my fault. None of it is.

 

But I am not here to point fingers, I am above such things.

 

I have recently started to date someone else, she asked me out. She knows full well I am still in love with you, yet she took a chance asking me out, knowing full well I could say no.

 

We've been having fun together. I like her, and I can possibly see a relationship with her.

 

It will not be as good as what you and I had, I have a love for you that goes beyond even my soul. But you made it obvious you don't want me.

 

This woman does. I will do my best to make her happy, to treat her with respect. I will treat her the same way I treated you. I will do my best to make her happy, because she gave me a chance, I will give my best.

 

Maybe once you see whats happening around you, you will realize what you left behind. The question I pose to you Jen is simple:

 

How long will it take for you to realize what you left, that I am in fact, the one for you, and will I even be here when you realize that?

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Thanks for making me feel like crap...breaking my heart, ruining my first love experience for me. I know you never had any feelings for me right from the start, why didn't you make that obivious, why did you lead me on and drag my heart until I admitted my feelings for you. Why did you come and apologizing, and ruined my possibilities of moving on.Only if there were a way I could see you go through the same pain and loneliness I went through all these years. Why did I love you despite of knowing everything. Why is the universe so unfair, what did I ever do to deserve this? Hope things are going great in your new college life and even better the new girl you have..yeah you will never know how I felt all these years and even after being rejected how much I had feelings for you..I can't put up with your sympathy friendship..its too much than I can handle..

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Glad I talked to you last night, eventhough my words didn't come out like I planned. However, I got closure from speaking...arguing with you. I said just about everything I wanted to and to my surprise :rolleyes:, you said everything I expected you to say. I expected an argument, i expected you to be defensive, and i expected you to still deny...that's why I wanted to send the letter. At the least, I hoped you would have been honest, at least I could have respected you for it. I have not an ounce of respect for you and you are now a total nussiance. I will never take you serious again. I was emotional, hurt, and angry last night. I feel stupid for breaking NC, but it was good because I no longer carry those questions and heavy words on my heart. I spoked my mind.

 

You know, I could have gotten over the actual things you have done, but what I can't get over is your lies, secretive ways, and disrespect. But I thank you for changing my outlook and perspective on relationships. I will never look at things quite the same no matter who enters my life. I told you I wanted to give it another chance, but I realized this morning, it's not you who I want that chance with, it's who I thought you were and who I wanted you to be. I want that sweet and loving guy who approached me at work, the guy that was always there for me when I needed him, the one who constantly looked me in the eyes and told me he loves me and tells me how lucky he is to have me, and how amazing I am. Where is he?? I often wondered again and again, how can someone be so sweet and loving have such a dark ugly side. You have great qualities as a mate overall, but your lies and secretive nature stomped them die in the ground. I hate you and I love you...what can I say...didn't want the relationship to end..well, today, I longer care. I realize that my feelings will continue to be a rollercoaster ride until I get over you. Today I feel alot better than I felt last night and I feel at peace. So, thank you ass hole.

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I took a chance on you. It felt risky and crazy from the start. It never felt 100% right because you weren't ready and neither was I. I had a gut feeling that I should have listened to. I should have ran from the start. It was too many obsticles, too many things to settle on, and one major problem that was and remains completely out of my hands: your lack of career, ambition, drive, assets, money, real future. You're life hangs on a thin thread, and you do nothing to change it. You keep saying you want the same things I do, yet you get angry at me for trying to get you moving. One day you say I'm helping you become a better man, the next you resent me. You made me believe we were taking on the world together and that we shared the same dreams. I wanted to be your wife, I wanted to have your child. We wanted it together, and yet you still did nothing. I know your life has been a stuggle, but when is it time to let that all go and move boldly and confidently forward? Together.

 

Escapism and denial hide the dangerous hook: a wasted life. I used to believe that love was enough, but you hardly have love for yourself, so how could any of my love help our situation. You are beyond the help of anyone because you already know all there is to know about what is wrong. You created it, you control it, and you control whether you do anything about it. So much talent, so many gifts, so much life- wasted. It brings me to tears to think about how much you throw away.

 

You are stubborn as hell. You are cynical. You are past your prime because you have given up on any real goals or dreams. You have lost your creativity. You have low self worth which brings me down when I am feeling up and makes you uncomfortable around hardworking, confident people.

 

You know how to make me very happy, you know what I need from you. I know what you need from me too. I want to be that girl for you if you will become that man you said you wanted to be. I need to see signs and you have given me none. You're afraid of failing and losing it all including your sanity if you failed, but failure only happens when you stop trying.

 

Without risk there is no reward.

 

I took a risk and fell in love. You made me believe in love again, that we could take on life's challenges together. Our dreams have become nightmares. I want to sleep in peace and be happy again.

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Dear Anna,

 

Thank you for texting me that you finally put a bid together for the businesses I encouraged you to buy.

 

Finally, I will know that in some small way I went out of your life on a good note, despite everything that you have said. I only regret that I am not here to enjoy the fruits of my hard work.

 

I only wanted you to find what excited and invigorated you, but you couldn't find that there. I will never know why.

 

Apparently, I was not worth working for. How on Earth you thought you would enjoy your time here when not trying to make any friends or do anything excited, I don't know.

 

How did you think that would make me feel? Did you think it was going to work out after that? Did you think I would just uproot myself after seeing you flailing in the wind?

 

Instead, you chewed me up for a year, and spat me out.

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