Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[cerridwen]

You really hurt me.

I want you to know that and I don't.

I want to tell you that but only in the moment.

I don't want you to see or hear me this weak.

 

If I told you that, when I got off the phone, I'd feel stupid--like I blew it.

Like once again, you had the upper hand.

So I'll resist.

 

But you've disappointed me.

Terribly.

[AlisaMarie]

Really? You are going to go from the best to the bottom? You are the victim now! I can't believe how many tears I lost for you! I can't believe how many lies you told that surfaced! I can't believe you skip along your day with a clear mind! Yeah... that gut wrentching pain that you feel every morning? That's me! You said there's no life after me? Then why did you go?

 

I would have stayed forever. I never lied or snuck around behind your back... I was accused of your actions! You slime! YOU PIG! You knew how I was treated in my past relationships... you hated my exes and couldn't believe how much they hurt me! YOU ARE WORSE than any of them 10 fold! Suck it!

 

You are my biggest regret! I also regret the last thing I said to you.. "I will always love you" I am not a liar like you and I meant that! I wish I lied and said "Go eff yourself loser." I wish I could go back to that night you picked me up.. our first night together and said ... ha ha ha I am not going out with you!!! You're an idiot and I see right through already!

 

Have a great xmas you freaking lying moron! I HATE YOU!

[SimonSerenade]

Dear Samantha

 

It's been yet another bad day where I'm tossing and turning to get you out of my head, Being so in love with you yet at the same time feeling so many angry feelings towards you for what you put me through, For how you felt could justify talking to me like I'm nothing but bad rubbish, For all the time's you easily discarded me, Despite everything I stood by you cause I thought what we had was true, I never wanted any more than what I had cause what I had despite the bad was the best damn thing in my life and I'd never take it for granted.

 

Time after time you always wanted more, I gave all I could yet it just wasn't enough, We could of had so much together had you only been mature enough to try rather than figure the only solution is to end it, We could of made it made, We had 3 great years together, My only regret is that there wasn't more, I was your first and only love, Your first and only time being intimate and to top it off we have our first and only child together, If good things come in three's they sure as hell did, Whatever I did to lose that, I'm sorry, I feel if you ever came back only one of those bonds we have will remain true but being with you would be all I'd ever need regardless of how many people you'll end up with before making your way back to me and though I'd never ever admit it I hope like hell that day comes, So much feels unfinished, I hope it finishes where it began, So hot with love we burned our hands...

[SimonSerenade]

Dear Samantha

 

It's little times like these that I don't look back at us and think "God why I did I go there", I may be young and I may have so much more to learn but as for appreciating what I had... I feel I always did that though sometime's I know I lost my way, Life is hard without you, I'll be a man and admit that and despite all this pain I wouldn't change a thing, I wouldn't go down a different road, I wouldn't do anything any differently aside from doing it your way cause it's a hell of a lot better doing that way than facing this high way all by myself.

 

What I'm grateful for this Christmas are memories, All the memories that you gave me, I don't know what they mean to you but damn they mean the world to me and always will, I can't regret anything and that's me being honest, My love was well placed in you, We have a beautiful child together and for once in my life I had something meaningful, Something to cherish and though I hoped that would of lasted my whole life, It sure did feel like a life time with you, Just so many perfect moments I'll never forget forever gazing into your loving eyes, Just waking up knowing I was loved, I'd rather wake up feeling like hell now knowing I never found heaven at least once in my life.

 

Right now I feel my faith is being tested, I feel like a right old Joe, The guy god make's bad things happen to just for a chuckle, I'll never lose my faith as that's all I've got left and I still believe in true love and just how far people will go for that one feeling, There are so many lucky people that find there way back to each other, I hope and pray I become one of those lucky one's one day, You gave me everything and you took it away, Surely something good is just around the corner, Whatever or who'ever it is, I just hope its you.

[mgene15]

god bless you

[angelboots]

At the end of day 4 no contact......

 

(email never to be sent)

 

I still think about u a lot.. just untangling the games from the truth, basically for my own sanity Ive decided to just accept things are the way they are. there is no real "why" or "how could you" answers that can give me peace.

 

Im getting a lot of male attention at the moment, guess a lot of ppl feel lonely over the holidays. Im still not interested. I dont even feel flattered. I just feel like im a piece of lamb at an Irish meat market. I want to be alone at home in my pjs reading a book or something.. but i keep forcing myself to just keep going on with daily life, staying busy.

 

I do wish you well still.. and i wish "H" well too.. i dont want to hate you. I keep hoping that if i put good out into the world good will come back to me as well... but the thought at the moment seems unlikely. Its hard to be happy when everyone you love and all your friends are having babies and getting married and your alone for christmas for the second year with out your children. It really takes the magic out of the holidays.

 

I know Karma will sort you out, but i do wish u well. I miss you.. in some ways. But on a whole.. i dont. Im just fighting the addiction of you in my life. I need a cuddle. Think i might do a "free hugs" run or something to fill the ache in my arm. Anyway gnyt "j"

 

the girl you "hate" for no logical reason,

Gabii xx

[collegeguy_24]

I am thinking I may contact you soon Jen. I have come to b eleive that enough time has passed that we can talk to one aanother. But I will admit I am nervous, especially with your recent actions.

 

Everytime you see me you act like your in shame, the look on your face says it all. I know that look from when we were together. Makes me wonder what is going through your mind.

[Surfer203]

How could you discard me like a piece of garbage. After all I did for you, after all we shared. You didn't communicate to me your feelings and you just left. Walked out the door with my hopes and dreams. We were weeks away from starting to try to get pregnant. You had paint colors, cribs and furniture selected for the babies room. You made it to this point in your head and you chose to leave me for another man. A guy you don't even know, a guy who will drop you when something better comes along. Neither of you value marriage or an established relationship so how do you expect to have one of your own now? You have severly hurt me, our families and close friends. You lied and let everyone down. You have dug yourself in to a hole. Goodbye to your home, car, cats, money, belongings, respect of family and friends and most importantly.. goodbye to ME, an awesome person with a heart of gold. I would have done anything for you for the rest of your life, anything. I showed you unconditional love and you spit in my face. I hope you enjoy your choice and I don't want you back, especially since I have finally seen your true colors.

Edited December 9, 2010 by Surfer203

[BlindRage]

Hey A,

 

Let's see, I've been calling/texting you but I keep getting your voicemail and no replies. It's been nearly four months of not having you in my life. I am so sorry for calling you all those bad names after our break-up. I was scared of losing you but know you cannot lose what is not yours, and when you started talking to that person, I knew I was out. I was especially mad when I read your inbox and you were speaking with her on how great your day together was and talking about being together. I was willing to work with that though. I wish you could have given me a chance. I know that I was not the best person to be with but I could have changed all I wanted was loyalty from you, you said you loved me, I just wanted your actions to match your words.

 

Fast forwarding four months, I've even driven 100 miles just to talk to you. I was grieving over the fact I got dumped through a text. I remember a week after our break up you still told me you loved me, why did you dump me if you still loved me? I guess once you stayed with me an entire month you saw how much better that girl was from me. I already told you I don't have feelings for you but its all lies, you still mean everything to me. When I read the text I was so scared that you would forget me. I didn't want to let go of everything that we had(to me it was everything). Now, you have already told me you don't love me nor have any feelings what-so-ever for me. I used to hear heartbreak songs and just understand the lyrics, now when I hear them, I truly understand the definition of them. Before all the ones I understood were love ones, funny how things change right?

 

I miss your voice, I miss your 2 am texts saying "I love you so much, I want to stay with you forever." I miss talking to you over the phone for hours. I miss receiving calls from you. I miss holding you. I miss you holding me. I miss your smile. I miss the way your lips move. I miss how you move your hands while you speak. I miss how you rub my back. I miss holding your hand. I miss your kisses. I miss your feelings for me. I love you so much but you've already moved on and told me I mean nothing to you.You said you wish we could just be friends, I'm ready to take you up on that offer. You don't want my friendship anymore though, I know because I've tried, I've tried suppressing my feeling and telling you I'm okay without you as a lover. It doesn't seem to work though. You aren't interested in me being a part of your life anymore. I remember the days you told me I was your life. "I'm busy" is all the words that seem to come out of your mouth to me on the few days you even answer me. I want to leave you alone. BELIEVE ME! I do, its just difficult. Love is the strongest drug of all. I'll try, I'll leave you alone now. I won't promise but I'll try with all my heart.

 

- Sincerely,

A fool.

Edited December 10, 2010 by BlindRage

[kaygato]

Wow this is such a good idea! If only i'd been on this website a month and a half ago...would have saved me a lot of patheticness. I'll definitely be coming back to this thread lol.

 

Dear M,

 

I'm really sorry I'm having such a hard time letting you go. I understand why you broke up with me, and I did deserve it, but I just hope your love for me and faith in how great we were together will guide you back to me. I love you more than I've ever loved someone...and it scared me. I'm so sorry I hurt you, and made things so much harder than they had to be. I was very immature in my actions, and I think I had to learn a lesson. If I could change the way I acted towards you I would. So...I understand that between the way things ended and the other issues in your life you just can't be with me right now. I'm going to try and do the mature thing and give you the space you deserve. I hope that once you see I've moved on and am becoming a better person... you'll realize how we're meant to be. I know you're the one. I know you'll come back. I can't be angry at you when I think like this.

 

...But I'm sorry for getting angry after we broke up. I'm sorry for saying hurtful things. I hope you see the pain hidden underneath my immature and angry words. It was my way of trying to put some balance into the situation. I was ashamed at my tears and pleading with you...and I know that you'll never want me back if I sit around teary eyed, pining away for you. My anger is simply my transition into no contact...please miss me. I miss you, and I'm waiting. But I'm not gonna let you know that.

[kaygato]

Dear M,

You know what I really hate? When I convince myself I'm going to stick to NC then 3 days later you send me a text at 1 am saying "Goodnight, _my name_". That was how we said goodnight when we were getting together!!! We always said goodnight, M and goodnight, K. That is an intimate thing that reminds me of when we were together..don't do it. Just leave me the hell alone unless you want me back...if that ever happens. I know I said I'd like to try and be friends, but love is partly selfish. And I refuse to go from you being my friend and lover to some lame friend you feel sorry for. Un-uh. You say I'm a good person...well, I'm not. I'm selfish. So are you. So I can't be your friend until a very, very long time has passed and we've both moved on. Seriously...I wish you'd go do something like screw some girl and tell me about it so I could hate you. It would help me get over you quicker than trying to be nice to me. I'm sorry...I don't appreciate your kindness. And I refuse to talk to you any more. Instead I'll go type my feelings here like a raving lunatic.

[angelboots]

(early early am on day 6 NC)

(txt never to be sent)

 

So glad we broke up before the summer holidays and party season kicked in... *******.

 

 

 

Im going home for the summer, my sister is having a baby, and all my old friends are going to be in town. New years is going to be a blast single, it will be my first new years single in 5 yrs. In all honesty i will probably spend it thinking about you, unless Joe and hes boyfriend get me too plastered to give a rats. It will be mad hanging with my gay friends with out your judgemental homophobic ass bringing us all down. I love hanging with Joe. He is one of my best friends. One you cant try to tell me is only my friend because he wants to sleep with me. That pissed you off lol you couldnt dismiss him so easily.

 

I still miss what i considered our friendship.. and i miss the person i thought you were. but you as a person still makes me sick and makes my skin crawl. I cant help but wonder if you have a new victim, but as fast as the thought enters my head, i dismiss it. If you have it wont last... you never last with anyone because your a total head case.

 

I am healing... and it feels scary. the future is again unknown... i am learning to re like that fact

[angelboots]

double post****

[BlindRage]

I want to talk to you! I want to just ask you how your doing and I know you're fine. I miss your voice and our conversations. I won't call or text you today though, don't worry It's depressing thinking about you. At this point I don't know whats wrong with me, why do I still love you so much?!?! Do I just enjoy this misery and thats the reason why I can't stop thinking about you? I wish you would call me and tell me you want to try to fix our relationship. I love you so much I love you and miss you so much. What I feel for you is the strongest emotions/feelings and something I never knew existed, the pain is un imaginable, it makes me feel so helpless and I saw you falling through my hand like sand. As much as I tried to hold on it went through my grasp and felt. You broke up with me and I wish you the best with that girl. I really do. I wish you didn't hate me and you saw me for me.

[LoveTruthChaos]

Dear R,

 

Well, that's it.

I guess your Narcissism rubbed off onto me.

 

Because I only ever wonder about you long enough to wonder if you ever wonder about me.

[cerridwen]

I'm under stress and unhappy with other parts of my life, so I'm tempted to text you.

 

That's why we got together I realize.

I used you.

I wanted an escape so I trumped you up in my mind, seeing things that weren't there, so I could be excited about SOMETHING.

I could escape my unhappy life.

I could undo some bad decisions.

I had another shot at a happier future with someone I loved.

 

I took your nice qualities and magnified them in my mind to eclipse the fact that you're dishonest, untrustworthy, selfish, and immature.

You made me unhappy W, but I wouldn't give up the fantasy.

Then, you pried my eyes open with your last stunt.

 

I have a lot of work to do--to figure out why I tolerated it.

Angelina said the other day, "Break ups are often a time of great growth for people."

She's right.

I'm going to grab this opportunity fatso.

I intend to use this time to figure MYSELF out, rather than try and harbor feelings of you coming back.

[Fermentum]

Last night hurt. The last few days have been really bad, all the stress of final assignments have made me miss the comfort and security of being with you. Plus dreaming about you, which exacerbates everything else.

 

But I talked to El last night, and she mentioned casually that she'd seen you and talked to you. I should have talked to her, stopped her immediately. But I let her continue to talk about you, how school is going, how you view yourself now, etc. And it hurt so much, felt like reopening an old wound. But El also talked about how you said you and the new gf (you're official, not a surprise) are in the middle of a fight. What about...well, I can guess. And for you to be so public about your relationship woes (which you NEVER are), especially to El (whom you despise because she would always flirt with me) means that all is not well.

 

And I hate to claim schadenfreude, but it's true. I felt a whole lot better afterwards. It may not even be true, but it helps. Because you throwing yourself into another relationship after we broke up is backfiring. I didn't do that, I've been seeing someone but have been taking things very slow, allowing myself time to heal before committing. And I know that if this relationship ends badly you will be back to square one. So all I have to do is resist the urge to contact you when that happens.

 

So while it hurt for a while, I talked to El about the whole epilogue to our breakup, and she was very understanding. And afterward, I felt a lot better. I slept like a baby, the best sleep I've had in a week. It's kind of petty, but I do wish you happiness...but not yet.

[LoveTNT]

It will be 5 months by the end of this month. A new year will start, which I probably will never be able to claim you were involved in; and although it's saddening; it also means I can have memories in 2011 that don't involve you. I haven't contacted you. I've been on and off with NC. But this time I feel more than ever it's pointless to contact you. The recent times I've wanted to are when I'm most annoyed with you.

 

The question that pops in to mind here and there is, "How could someone that loves someone just cut them out completely and or still claim they're angry?" I just don't understand how you say you still do, but still choose to not have me in your life....

 

anyhow, this is what's meant to be. It's been going down for almost 5 months and will continue..

 

 

 

You're WACK!

 

Sigh.....

[angelboots]

day 8 of NC for me, even though you messaged me yesterday i am proud to say i did not reply.

 

Him: Just so you know its not that i didn't want you to move on, i was just trying to protect our friendship, i want us to be friends.

 

ME: replying here instead:

 

‎"We can still be friends" is like saying "Hey, the dog died but we can keep it"

 

i have no desire for your friendship.. just as i would have no desire for a decomposing canine stinking up my lounge room.. if i had to chose between the two though, you or the dead dog,,, i would chose the dead one, because the type of dog you are doesn't mesh well with my personality and life style.

 

Your exact words were " i dont want you to move on yet because it will hurt me, please just give me a chance to figure this out" But even then i translated it to " please dont move on until i do or my ego will be damaged" One of my charming friends let slip that you went back to "A" your ex wife, the one you cheated on and who cheated on you..

 

That would explain why she was always in my ear telling me how i deserved better then you and she couldn't believe someone like you had found someone like me, apparently its a big secret though so her current Boyfriend doesn't find out. You two disgust me but you both seem like you deserve each other, you have a lot of traits inn common, deception and manipulation, infidelity, the desire for vengeance... yeah made for each other. **** i really hate u. i hope you dont contact me again.

[angelboots]

ok im am still mad at your message....... you were trying to protect our friendship???? by posting our video on youtube and sending it to my co workers? by trying to blackmail me into taking you back with the same video while calling me a selfish heartless parasite and threatening my children??

By messaging me telling me it was my fault you had a drug relapse because you felt so bad about your actions???? what the hell!!!!!!

 

You dumped me every time.. you ran at every turn, not me. You cheated, you lied. friendship? what friggen friendship? you mean you wanted to keep me under your thumb, walking on your egg shells dancing to the beat of YOUR drum, you wanted me to stay single in hope that you could still have your cake and eat it too..

 

you mean you wanted to keep me so wrapped up in YOUR pain, be your shoulder to cry on when you messed your life up time and time again, you wanted to have me on back up to boost your ego.. grrrrrrrrrr i am so mad right now.

 

How dare you contact me after everything you have done. I gave you chance after chance after chance. every time you begged and i mean BEGGED for another chance i gave it to you and every time i did you purposely stuffed it up again. Im sick of you and your constant justifications and excuses that dont have actions to back them up. i am starting to hate you. I dont like it please take the hint and leave me alone. now i have to change my number AGAIN!

[SimonSerenade]

Dear Samantha

 

It's been a good while since I last talked to you, Knew what was going on in your life and all that, I still haven't stopped thinking of you, I still haven't forgotten everything we had and felt together though it feels you've probably forgotten all about me, I haven't spoken to you since the 4th November so I geuss I've already proved to myself that I don't need you in my life anymore like I used to, I'm quite proud of myself if I'm honest.

 

I gave it all I could and all I had when we were together and I gave even more when we were apart to the point were I was emotionally exhausted and couldn't do anything for myself anymore, I said all the right things, Did all the nice things, Was so generous towards you, Helped out to no end and did everything you asked of me, I was your friend though I knew I couldn't see you in that way and I did you all the favours you asked, Really put myself out there.

 

In return I got absolutely nothing, Not even enough words to give me closure, I feel now feelings of hate of how me and our son was deprived of having a family life, How crappy you treated me and how you felt you could justify it, I was the best thing for you and I know deep down in your heart nobody could compare so why your trying to replace me is beyond me, I couldn't care less anymore if you were to drop dead is how much you hurt me.

 

Being your first and only time at being intimate was precious to me and I always wanted to be that though I know now that I just can't, I wanted to be your one and only love, The one you couldn't be without but obviously that was just too much to ask of you, You waited all your life for somebody who actually cared, Who could give you everything you desired, Who would stick around and stay loyal to you no matter what, You got that but then you went and threw it away like it was nothing, You'll regret that.

 

I'm not going to stay loyal anymore, I've broken out of the shackles you've had me in and now I live day by day for myself and nobody else, This break up taught me more than I thought I'd ever know about love and putting your trust in somebody else, It's given me unbelievable strength's and made me one hell of a great person inside, I have no regrets, I treated you right, Got you anything you ever wanted, Hung in there when it got tough, Did everything in my power to make you happy and be nice as anything.

 

What have you got to look back on? You didn't even get me a birthday card you were that cruel to me, 3 years and I did everything right, You threw me away constantly and time and time again made the wrong turn, I hope when you realise all of what you did and what you became you come to my door to apologise and on that day it'll be slammed in your face and that'll be far from what you deserve but I'll spare you the pain cause I love you though after all of this I should be praying to the devil to give you a tough time.

[Fermentum]

Why do I keep dreaming of you! I've never remembered my dreams before in my entire life, and now all of a sudden every second night I'm dreaming about you! It's either imaging us back together or you fit and happy and moving on. Ugh. It's been almost 7 weeks NC, and it's slowly, slowly, slowly getting better. It's not even the real you I'm pining for, but some made up conglomeration of what you were and we had. Maybe it's because of all the stress, especially of last night and all the pressure and not seeing A for a couple of days, but I want the peace and serenity I had yesterday morning back. El told me about you and her and troubles, and I know you well enough to know that that means you're in real trouble if you're sharing. Plus the holidays are coming up and I want to talk to you...it's going to be very hard not to contact you, especially since I have to study during the whole break. I don't want to set myself back. I just feel...in pain. I want the hurting to stop. I try to block you out, but it always sneaks back in. I have to keep writing "SHE"S NOT THINKING ABOUT YOU" on whatever it is I'm working on. I just want to not love you anymore. If this is the pain that love brings, why bother?

[kaygato]

Do you know how much I love you? I love you more than anything in the world. I love you more than I've ever loved another person. You were my first love. I thought I'd loved once before, but it was all fantasy and infatuations and never actually "real". We had the real thing and it was absolutely amazing until I messed it up and you ended it. I still deeply regret what I did and what I said to you. I know I have some things I need to improve on and I'm working on it. One thing I'm going to do to prove how much I love you is to not contact you and ignore any of your attempts to contact me for at least 6 weeks. I've told you to stop contacting me, so I'm being honest. But you said my actions weren't showing that I loved you....well, as you can see, I've told you something and I'm sticking to it. You always hated how I was indecisive and didn't always follow through....well I'm working on it. I made a promise to myself and to you to respect your decision to not be together, and I'm sticking with it. And the only way to keep myself from crying and begging to you is to not contact you and for you to not contact me. I love you so much I'm sticking to this....even though I have to fight myself.

 

All I want to do is be with you right now. I wish I'd decided to go to your school and not been so stubbornly indivivualistic just to see if we would have broken up if we weren't long distance. Well, really, I don't wish that would have happened because it probably wouldn't have killed our relationship and I didn't truly want to go to your school. But I just wish I could spend more time with you. I wish I was snuggled up in bed next to you right now. I want to be the girl who shows you they love you...not someone else. I want to be able to express everything I feel for you, and for you to love me back. Surely if I was around and demonstrated how great of a gf I "could be" through my actions you'd be able to see that I meant it? but I can't because I never see you and you won't ever know if I'm actually doing well or if I'm doing crappy. But even though it doesn't matter, I have to live well for myself. I must move on- with or without you as my love. Living for myself and enjoying my life doesn't negate the fact that I love you. And eventually I hope you'll sense how awesome I'm doing and want me back.

 

But yeah...my life isn't about you anymore. It's not about how you feel about me- it's about how I feel about myself. I can love you even if you have chosen to not love me. Sure, you say you love me, but you say it's not enough. Maybe you're afraid I don't love you enough. All I know is that you have decided to set me free...you said it's over. So you love me, but maybe not the same way anymore. It may have been my actions that led to this...but I won't let it get me down. I still love you though. And Im going to be strong and love you from afar. I hope that we can be friends and that I can accept it if that is all you can give me. It's still a type of love- the love of a friend. But I hope that someday you can love me the way you used to. I'm in love with you, and I miss you. But I'm going to stop letting you have that power over me...I will live my life for me from now on. I will love you and accept absolutely nothing in return. You still want me in your life...want me as a friend...ok, I'll still be your friend. Just give me a chance to accept this and quiet the hope that is in my heart. Then I will be your friend w/o bitterness, and I'll show you that I'll always be there. You'll realize you love me still...and that I've always loved you and still do. Then we'll get back together, and live happily ever after. Or we'll stay just friends, if that's all you want me as. I'll accept it. But I won't give up for a while. Not forever...but I'll give you a chance to change your mind before I try and fall in love again. It's not over between us, I believe that in my heart, and i hope that if I love you unselfishly you will see that.

[9Lives]

facebook is killing me. I cant stop looking at that bitch you are with now and every time I do it,,,,it ****s me up so bad. I just dont know why I keep doing this to myself. I am so jealous!!!!! i hate her so much and it aint even her fault. You are so amazing. You keep giving her more and more and I just hate it sooooooo much. Why you couldnt love me like that? Why you couldnt be that man to me. I just dont understand. Its been so painful. I know I need to move on but it is a struggle. being friends with mo....not sure if that is good for me. I cant talk to nobody about it cause they think im so stupid. I just feel like hurting myself sometimes. Just get it over with. It is no fun.

[cerridwen]

Texts I wanted to send today but didn't. Thank God for this thread.

 

--Wow, I realize now why you gave up. We really weren't right for each other.

 

--I'm going to start yoga. Mollie said I'll love it. I need to do something new.

 

--I put P & E on a plane to you Minus their carriers.

 

--What should I eat tonight? I'm kinda feeling Chinese. But Middle Eastern sounds good too.

 

--Seriously? 21 degrees there? What a crap hole. I love me some California!