IfiKnewThen Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 Was so happy to read this, Simon. You will still have up and down moments/days, but you are well on your way to recovery and I'm really glad to see it. Chin up and take care, BB. so glad to see you BB. sorry for didnt mean for you to delete your good advise . sorry. i wanted to Pm you to apologize. Link to post Share on other sites
Blueberry7691 Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 You've gotten me to the point where I'm soo done with you and us. It's been 35 days... The more you ignore me, the better it is for me so THANK YOU!!! I swore to myself last night that I will NEVER EVER contact you again and I intend to keep that promise because you DO NOT DESERVE me in your life in any way,shape, or form. And I know, the worse thing I could do to you is to be out of your life. You've told me that a million times before. Well, too bad.You F ed up and I'm not turning back. You're an idiot. You think by keeping distance, it's going to bring me back when I'm ready. JERK!! You're pushing me away!!! You'll learn one day. The next time I'll speak to you, will be the day after your birthday and only because we'll have no choice but to be in the same room. You will see how I've moved on. And if i can, I will tell you, how you helped! Time to focus on me and stop wasting my energy on someone who has NOTHING to offer me. Adios!! Link to post Share on other sites
radiodarcy Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 i really really really really really want to contact you right now. but i know if i do i'll feel even worse than i do now. i keep trying to remind myself that as lousy as i feel now i felt 50 times worse when we were talking to each other. because i kept allowing you to string me along in the pathetic hope that you would somehow realize how much i loved and wanted to be with you and give me a chance. but in the end i just set myself up to be taken for granted. *sigh* my grooming habits these days are somewhere between a pre-pubescent boy's and a 90 year old woman. i still shower but i don't blow dry my hair or even comb it for that matter. i just let it dry and wear knit caps all day whether i'm indoors or out. at home, i shuffle about in my cat slippers and three layers of pajamas. if i have to go out. i throw an old plaid 1960's coat on over my layers of clothes. the dreary weather isnt helping my mood. they're calling for more snow, which means i'll be snowed in at home - - again. alone. while you're probably snuggled up in bed with your new girlfriend. bleccccchhhhhhh Link to post Share on other sites
alimpo83 Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 The shadow of your smile Still haunts me at night , when I wake up all alone I wanted to hold you tight But instead of your heart , I find a stone. You forgot the days, the nights, the moments Our hearts beat as one, no regrets, just a dream The love was so great, it could fill the world But now is sorrow, like never seen I used to write, to paint, to sing for you My pen is down, my canvas white, my voice mute I just wanted to go back, live everything as twice Just wanted to cuddle and say "my cute..." I still miss you K. I still do. Link to post Share on other sites
TG4MJ Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 I would have done anything for you chachita, you were gorgeous, smart, sassy, delicate yet tough in all the right places, down to earth and basically everything I look for in a woman. You are the source of many good times and saved me from myself during bad times. You truly were my better half. Now that I no longer have you am I lost, I am lonely, and I am incomplete. My days are long and dreary and my nights are cold and dark without you. The very last time we spoke you angrily demanded that I quit my current job, which made me miserable and didn't pay enough, and that I get back into working at a call center which takes better care of its employees. When a woman means as much to a man as you mean to me, when she says jump, he will say "how high?" and I'll have you know that this weekend will be my last two days working the very job you despise and on the 14th, I will begin training at the very call center you demanded I go apply to. I can only hope that when it is all said and done, you will see that I did exactly what you asked of me and upon seeing this, realize how much you truly mean to me and take me back. I miss you girl and can only hope I've done what I must for you to take me back......... Link to post Share on other sites
AcaciaStrain Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 Nearly 3 weeks today. I know you're with your new boyfriend and everytime i think about it my heart hurts. I just want to hold you in my arms and feel like i've got the world at my feet again. Link to post Share on other sites
SimonSerenade Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 Was so happy to read this, Simon. You will still have up and down moments/days, but you are well on your way to recovery and I'm really glad to see it. Chin up and take care, BB. Thanks love your words snapped me out of my bitterness, I owe you a big debt for that, Hope your well. Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 Way to go, Cerri! Way to set yourself back weeks. Criminy! Stop with the guilt already! What good is it doing? You owe him?! Does he feel like he owes you?! You have his back. Does he have yours?! You're a romantic fool. Get on with it already. Put your focus back where it was. Жизнь Продолжается !! Link to post Share on other sites
Free spirit86 Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 Every time my phone rings I wish it was you. Every time I get a text I wish it was you. I am frightened at the thought that this is really over, and that I will never see you again. You have become my home, so much a part of my life, and I feel so much unrest at the thought all that you said. You have always been so confused. You don't care about breaking women's hearts. I am not the only one. I weep so hard because I know you really don't believe in our relationship. You are so beautiful, funny, adventurous, lovable, interesting..all the things I would love to have in a man. But you said that I am not the one. You don't want to go further. How do I survive that kind of rejection? How does my heart sustain a blow so instense, so heavy, so cold, so dark, so unexpected. Why can't I see as you do? Why can't I see that it will never work because of the distance...I guess cause I made it to you twice. Why do I believe so much? You stole my hope! You tore me to pieces. Now I have to start again! Now I have to change all of my plans. I really don't want. I want to touch you again. Kiss your neck. Play with you. Cuddle. I want to do all the things that humans do...struggle, laugh, cuddle, sing, dance,have a glass of wine, travel, with you again, and I will never know any past what we have already had. Its so hard to let go. Today is not a good day. I go from sleep to waking with you on my mind. Up at 3 am thoughts racing, heat pounding at this troubling reality. I have rewrite my future. I know the pain will go away but that means you will too. I am so scared to start rebuilding my life without you...it doesnt matter. I don't want to love again. I don't know want to know what love is anymore. I feel so low now... Link to post Share on other sites
Anxiety Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 I miss you. I want to send you something for Valentines Day, but I know I shouldn't. I Love you C. Love you forever. Link to post Share on other sites
Bluebelle38 Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 Thanks love your words snapped me out of my bitterness, I owe you a big debt for that, Hope your well. Ah,thank you, but you owe it to yourself for taking it on board. I'm really glad you did because some people hold on to it for years and then look back and think what a damn waste that was:D One day at a time and all that. letting go of the anger is a huge step, but once it's gone, things start to fall in to place and make sense. Life is too short to carry around regret and what ifs. All the best Link to post Share on other sites
0hpenelope Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 We always reap what we sow. Link to post Share on other sites
SimonSerenade Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 Ah,thank you, but you owe it to yourself for taking it on board. I'm really glad you did because some people hold on to it for years and then look back and think what a damn waste that was:D One day at a time and all that. letting go of the anger is a huge step, but once it's gone, things start to fall in to place and make sense. Life is too short to carry around regret and what ifs. All the best Yeah I'm really glad I did, I don't want to hate her despite everything and it's pointless really when I'm looking forward because it just won't get me anywhere, I think I have one last cry in me before the pain can truly give it's goodbye's but I feel this experience has made me a better person all around, Stronger and built full of confidence, Kind of feels like the world threw it all on top of me and somehow I'm still here, Still fighting back, Nothing will ever hurt as much as this did that's for sure so no fear going forward now. I've been a lot more settled since letting go of the anger, Not so much happy but content with the way things are, Hoping to get to the happy stage soon though, Can just feel it coming on. Link to post Share on other sites
SimonSerenade Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 Hope your well darling, That's all I can say, Life these days is hard without you but I'm somehow making it through, I'll never forget the time's we had, They were very precious to me, Maybe I somehow messed it up, Maybe we both did, Either way I hope one day we can put it right, Not having you in my life is hard but the hardest part is thinking we'll never be the way we where again, I miss our phone calls, I miss our weekends together, I miss it all and I'd give it all away to go back to at least one of those days when we where happy together. You meant more to me than anybody ever has and probably ever will, I'm just sorry things didn't work out, Seemed like our time was endless but unfortunately it's ended and there's nothing to do now but pick myself up and carry on with my life, I'll miss you more than you'll ever know, Just hope that there's a somewhere deep inside you that feels the same. Link to post Share on other sites
Graceful Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 This is not for my ex. This is for someone who asked for my friendship recently, and has hurt my feelings: g, I honestly don't know what to make of your behavior. One day you send me a PM that is so upsetting, reaching out to me, and I respond telling you that you can count on me and ask you to let me know what's going on with you. You tell me, and I am more than able and willing to be there for you. You tell me that I am someone who restores your faith in people, after having your heart ripped out of your chest, and I understand fully what you are going through. My friendship is extended to you, and you seem so grateful. Then you disappear on me. I don't know if you are ok or not. I don't know if you feel you made yourself too vulnerable. I don't know if you like me too much, or if you're scared that you might get attached to me and want more than friendship and that you can't handle that. I don't know anything b/c you just disappeared and not only am I worried, it is hurting me beyond belief. All you have to do is contact me and say you made a mistake in asking me for my friendship. All you have to do is assure me you are ok. That is all. I just can't afford to sit here worrying about you if that's not what you want; additionally, I have not slept in the past two nights because I am so upset, and I resent that you have invaded my peace of mind. Yes, I resent it. There is no need for you to act this way. Just be honest with me. I am honest with you, and I deserve and expect that sort of respect in return. I am not your ex. I am not going to bail on you. I am not going to turn my back on you. I am a great friend. If you don't want my friendship for any reason, that is your choice, but it is your loss, buddy, because you are passing up something very special. I don't mean to sound immodest, but that is the truth. For everything your ex lacked in the way of integrity and character, I have in spades. As a friend. So what's the problem? Has your trust been so derailed that you can't even accept my friendship -- after asking for it? So for now, I will wait to see if you re-appear and let me know what's up with you. If I don't hear from you soon, I will transfer these thoughts to an email that I will send you, because I want you to know that I care about you, but also that you have hurt me terribly. More than you know. Yes, I want you to know because I always put other people first, and this time, I want someone (you) to know that treating someone who you reached out to this way is very hurtful and has caused me a lot of pain. Take care. Link to post Share on other sites
Free spirit86 Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 I wake up at dawn seized with thoughts of you. I find myself sick to my stomach. I cannot stomach this reality. I hate you so much for taking it all away so swiftly. I can't believe I entrusted you with my heart. I can't bring myself to function these last days. I don't want get out of bed. I start to fantasy about the future without you, but I find myself gripped with fear and curiosity. I want with everything inside of me to speak with you and laugh with you again. It drives me insane that there was no quarrel, no irreparable damage that separated us, but your mere insecurity. I should have known that your doubts would never subside. Your insecurity is what prevented us from being carried to the end. But life goes on, right? At the moment life is at a standstill, and everything I ever wanted is has been frozen in time never to move forward or back. I only have my memories to refer to. I remember your scent, the season, scenery, your laugh, the idea of you with songs playing, looking at pictures. I remember that overwhelming feeling of love, of possibilities. I had not accepted then that your insecurity almost caused us to never meet, and I should have known that we would have never made it. I feel so foolish and confused about everything we ever said to each other. Once again, I am confused that it was never real. That is was just a fun game to play. I often wonder about writing you, just to get some sort of response, but I know its pointless. I feel an overwhelming sadness. This is one of the most painful experiences I have had to endure...I hope it is worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
timchambo Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 (edited) You lying bitch. You took advantage of me for far too long. Either you never loved me and just was along for the ride until something better came along, or your a sociopath. How can we do the things we did together and not 6 months later your leaving me for another man. I showed you more love than anyone will ever show you again. I put parts of my life on hold for you to pursue your dreams. You found your dreams and leave me holding the bag. Where was my turn? You have always been selfish, I would never had imagined to this extent. Is it true your not in love anymore, or are you ashamed that I caught you leaving for another man? Funny how you wanted me on the back burner at first until I told you I wasn't waiting around for that. Your own friends know what your doing, what you did. Do you really think your fooling anybody? I love your parents, they deserve a better daughter. I hope one day you feel the pain I had to go through. I'm getting to the point now where portions of my day I feel like your not worth the brain cells to hate you anymore. But right now I hope karma catches up to you soon enough. **** you, you heartless bitch. Edited February 4, 2011 by timchambo Link to post Share on other sites
Blueberry7691 Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 Hi dummy. I'm writing here because I can't text you. You stupid jerk!!! I actually miss you and I want to text you or hear your stupid voice. ugh But I won't bc I'm keeping to my promise and YOU should be the one reaching out to me!!! Your'e sooo stupid, you're waiting for me to make a move but it's NOT GONNA HAPPEN JERK!! I know you think about me. I know you look at your phone to see maybe it's me calling, texting, and then you get disappointed when it's not me. How do i know?? BECAUSE I'M IN THE SAME PLACE!!! I can't wait for this feeling to be gone. I just want to move on. If I thought there was a way, I'd go for it. But we've been down that road over and over and it's the same crap. So now, we both have to suck it up!!! HOPE YOU THINK OF ME EVERY MINUTE OF THE DAY!! JERK! I don't wish anything bad for you. I know it's not your fault and when the day comes and we meet, I'll tell you that. I have to end this addiction to you. Hopefully you understand. Link to post Share on other sites
Graceful Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 I just cannot contact you yet. I need to wait a few more days. I want to give you the benefit of the doubt. You have no idea how badly I want you to come through and tell me why you just disappeared. I don't want anything to be wrong, but I am hoping that is the reason. I am so upset and frustrated. I want to believe you are better than this. Please be better than this, I just have to believe that. Did I overstep? I was just trying to figure out what you needed and wanted from me as a friend. I can't believe you would do this, after what you have been through, after what I have been through, to treat someone like me like *this*?? I have feelings, or is that not relevant? Please come through. Please. Otherwise I have no recourse but to send you one last message telling you what you have done and how much you have hurt me. I am not going to let you off the hook. You have to know. I feel so disrespected, so, so disrespected by you right now. That is a horrible feeling, as for me, respect and honesty are the bedrock of any type of friendship. Why did you ask me to be your friend? Why did you do that?? And why have you bailed? What do I have to say? I miss you, I am worried about you, I care about you, along with I am upset, angry, frustrated, and hurt? Please, contact me. I am your friend, did you want something more and not say so? Is that it? TELL ME. Link to post Share on other sites
jen_r Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 I see you unblocked me on facebook. Guess it's safe to say you thought of me, for a milisecond im sure. Curious to see what pic I had up??? I don't get it. F**K yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Lil1 Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 Dear X, I wish I had never given you a first chance. Please come and get your things out of my place so I can move on and forget you were ever in my life. I hope you realize what a mistake you made, you walked out on true unconditional love and on an honest and loving friend. I regret ever letting you into my heart. You are now nothing but a painful memory to me which will someday fade into oblivion. Years from now I wont even recognize you if I walk by you. You on the other hand, will always remember me because you will never ever ever find a love as beautiful as mine. After all is said and done, I will move on, and never look back. Link to post Share on other sites
Anxiety Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 Its been 2 months and I still think of you all day long. I miss you so much. I wanna send you something for Valentines day, but why should I? I mailed christmas presents to you and S. and you didn't say thank you or acknowledge that you even received them...so why should I get you something if you don't appreciated it. But, if I do get you something, you might think that you made a mistake by letting me go. I miss you so much. I'll love you forever. Link to post Share on other sites
Stilicho Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 i thought i was over you until i saw you at school........ the first day we talked that monday wasnt bad, probably bc i held the power in that conversation, and was mostly indifferent to you, but talking to you last night, and seeing you cry, finally hearing your apologies, and having you open up to me about everything that went wrong really affected me. When i told you i didnt hate you, i meant it, after all, wouldnt this be alot easier on me if i did? youve looked beautiful this week each time i saw you, and huging you brought back alot of memories. i miss you babe, i just wish you didnt give up us. You said you need to find out who you are, and you know what u need to do to do that, but you dont. Its sad to hear you admit everything you realize is wrong with you, and see you not take the measures needed to repair them. i know you miss me, and i you. i just wish we didnt take the present for granted, while expecting a perfect future for us. I know i wasnt perfect, and obviously that does not excuse what you did at the end, and you know this. Even now, while im moving frwd with another, i still want you, and you only. you say that you think we were too young, but those arent your words, and if we see the flaws we had, we could have corrected them. i love you, but you selfishly ruined a beautiful thing. We almost had it all. Am i a fool to believe that we can again?? Link to post Share on other sites
Free spirit86 Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 (edited) God! I hate how you kept saying you see a chance and then now you say you don't believe in it anymore! Why did I break no contact the first time. I hate myself for trusting that you will stick it out with me. I don't know what you believe about me! Why do you say things like you need to live for yourself? What the **** do you mean? How the **** am I living for you you dumb bastard. I just hate you so much for sending me on this roller coaster! I ****ing hate your ****ing guts. I hope you get fat and bald as you already on your way to being. You think so highly of yourself even though you don't seem all that comitted to taking care of yourself. You always complain about money! Well make a ****ing budget you ****ing dumbass! Stop spending 400 bucks a month on Cigarettes. I can't believe I ever loved you. I don't want to love you anymore! I want you out of my ****ing my mind! All you have done is mind ****ed me these last two months. Saying oh I don't know if you are the woman I want! What the **** you ****ing piece of scum! I am a beautiful, intelligent, open-minded, open-spirited, free-spirited, adventurous, loyal, trustworthy woman!!! I take care of myself! I try to learn more about the world. I take risks, although sometimes not calculated clearly because I took a ****ing risk with you! You say I want someone independent! What the **** you ****ing stupid idiot what do you think I was trying to do when I got hired as a Au pair- you dumb ass. That was me asserting my independence, and if you don't see that then you are you are ****ing blind mother****er. You are ****ing arrogant to think that everything has just been all for ****ing you. I want that life I told you I wanted with or without you. You are a ****ing scary little man. You don't know what the **** you want. Thats your problem. You say you do but you let doubts creep back in, and you have the audacity to say I let those doubts grow, and that I gave you good reasons? What are the ****ing reasons! Is it because I said I didn't want to settle down in Northern Cali? Is it because I talked about closing the distance in July? You were suppose to make it happen just as much as I!!! You are one stupid idiot who doesn't believe in personal growth. You are ****ing scared and I need a real man who is going to stand by me and believe in me and the relationship. If you didn't see my efforts then you are no ****ing good for my time. I ****ing loved the **** out of you. I would do anything for you. All you do is twist everything I do. All you think is I am using youand want to depend on you. How did you come to believe that I was using you? I bought both of my plane tickets to see you you ****ing dumb mother ****er!!! You are ****ing stuuuupppiiidd!!! So I could go to Switzerland I AM THE ONE WHO CAME UP WITH THE IDEA TO AUPAIR! You didn' think of **** you stupid thoughtless prick!!WHY? so that I could have my own independence, not depend on you, and so I wouldn't have to live with you! You are ****ing dumb if you don't remember that!!! I hate you for coming and going like you have over the last 35 days. Always ****ing confused. "Hi I am greg, and I am a ****ing idiot for letting one the best women I have ever known go without talking to her about how I felt. I just let my doubts get the best of me. That is why I am not a single bachelor, gaining weight, always sad and wanting to be somewhere, always lost, and will probably never have a very long term relationship because I am too ****ing scared and always have reasons for running away! Women if you want a serious relationship don't look at me because I don't want that. I just want to be picky about every god damn thing I can. I want to constantly criticize everything you do because I think I am so gosh darn perfect"! I just hate you so much for this. You are right not to believe it in, and besides you weren't any good in bed you ****ing little dick mother ****er. You think you are so good but you suck. Girls are just deceived by your good looks but you suck at satisfying women. Thats why your ex eventually didn't want to sleep with you and thats why I would eventually not want to either. You only think of yourself you ****ing bastard! uggghhhhhhh!!!! RRgggghhhhhh!!! **** **** **** **** **** ****!! %^&&%$#@##$^%&%*%W#%#%Q$@@#@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate you! I can't even talk to you!!! You are so ****ing rrgggghhh ##$^%#@@%#...hate youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!! I hope you never meet the right one for you. I hope you can't even reproduce. Until you learn how to treat women then you should stop wishing for daughters because I don't know what you would teach them about what to look for in a man! I ****ing hate your guts!!! Edited February 5, 2011 by Free spirit86 need to add more Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 You're 30 years old but emotionally, I'd put you at about 17. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts