Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[tealeafbud]

I do better when you don't contact me.

So please, don't contact me.

When you do, it makes me very curious as to why.

When you do, it makes me want to cry.

 

You aren't doing either of us any favors when you ask how I'm doing.

How do you expect me to respond to you besides the standard cordial response?

Are you trying to hurt me intentionally like when you shared details about your new love interest?

You are poison to my life, and I'm dealing with the after-effects, slowly but surely.

 

So please, stay gone from me.

[Rav]

Ever since the start I've had so many things I wanted to say to you and never did. Now I can't wait for the day I've got nothing left to say. It seems like you've already been there for awhile and I don't think that's fair.

[Ariadne]

C'mon Mr. Wonderful, don't take that ****, man! Where are your balls, man??? Kick that bitch to the curb!!!!!

 

...............

[Ariadne]

Now I gotta go date some "normal" chick. They're not gonna have a clue what this music is I'm listening to.

 

Girls, he is going to start dating.

 

Anybody want to date Triple Y?

[purplepoodle]

YYY

And what kind of music would that be?

I really don't think you are even close to being able to start dating again

[KHAOS]

I told you that you coulda just said "No, I don't want to hang out today, I have plans." And I would've been fine with that. Instead, you ignored me all day. And then as I predicted, I saw you with him while I was out running errands. I knew you were working beforehand, and I knew you'd probably go out with him. And yet, like a fool, I go on believing that some part of you still wants to be with me.

 

Why do you contact me repeatedly? I ignore you for awhile, then I give in, we talk and end up telling each other how we still feel about one another...then you ignore me and go back to him.

 

I hate being your ex. I remember the times when you'd ask me every day, "So what are we doing tonight?" I remember when we'd hold each other for hours on end and be close. I remember when when...but now it's all gone. Why do you still talk to me if you have the new guy? What does he have that I don't? Or rather what do I have that he doesn't that makes you still contact me?

 

You tell me I'm the most loving, caring man you know. That men are pigs, but I'm so different. Well, if I'm so different why aren't you with me? The new guy treats you like ****, or so you say, and you say you deserve that for all the times you've messed up your previous boyfriends. So that's what he's got that I don't. I don't have the ability to treat an SO like crap. If that's what you want, and that's what you need - I'm not the man for you.

 

Do you still love me or something? Do you want me to come back again some day? Is that why you text me on my dates? My insignificant, 'going-through-the-motions' dates that I go on to keep myself sane, yet at the same time drive me insane because they're not with you, and with somebody else that hasn't clicked with me on so many levels like you did.

 

I told you, "You could've just said no. Didn't have to ignore me all day." You replied with "Sorry, I've been out. I told you I wanted to hang. Don't be mean to me." And with me saying "I know, but I didn't hear back all day." You tell me that "it's been a busy day." Yeah...work, then him. Now I wonder if you really did see me or hear me pass by you two last night, then flip around to see if it really was what I thought was going on.

 

Like a tool, I grudgingly said to your 'busy day', "That's fine." And left it at that. We'll see what you say next time around. I can bet money that you'll want me to come over on a weeknight, when you know I'm busy at work. I still can't get you out of my head and I don't know why. Prove to me that I'm worth more to you than this. After what we shared, and all that you say...do something about it, dammit. ****ing prove yourself. I've done so time and time again, and this is what I get?

 

Is this your salvation? Is this all you can give?

[Tony]

Please keep the vulgarity out of your posts on this thread and don't forget to be civil. I know many of you are very hurt and very angry. However, being extremely vulgar and showing almost violent anger only proves to the other party that they did the right thing by leaving you. Nobody wants to be with a person who is capable of that.

 

Express yourself freely here but not to the point that would embarrass most people and with language that you would not see on the wall of the mens' room at the Texaco Station outside Oklahoma City.

 

Show some class. If you are so angry you want to shoot somebody, get emergency counseling. Break ups are a very hurting thing but also a positive thing. Nobody wants to be with someone who doesn't want to be with them and we can't force them to want to be with us. By dumping us they free us to improve ourselves and find true love.

[earthling]

Wise words Tony.

 

Here goes another one. It's been a month and a half since the break up.

 

I love you. I still do very much. I was so cold to you throughout our relationship, just because I didn't trust that I was capable of being loved and returning that love, but you still loved me for almost 3 years. And that's why I love you. You've done what others have only attempted and for that, I love you. But I know it was a heavy price. To be with someone that did not love themselves let alone show love. It must have been lonely for you to drive so far to be with someone that did not smile your very sight. It must have been sad for you to drive so far back, to not even receive a phone call to hear of your safe return. I'm sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am. I'm sorry everyday, for allowing our relationship to fade so slowly away. I love you still, but this time away has taught me many things. One of which is that I do not truly love myself and that I'm not happy with myself and that it'll require lots of time and planning inorder to heal my mind, body and heart to what it once was, before you met me. I need to be alone in order to do that because you became my only supporting pillar. Something that I relied on solely, which made me feel even worse because I already knew in the back of my mind that I can't hold a relationship in this kind of state and it finally showed. Now that I have the time for myself to grow and learn and improve... I pray everyday that maybe in the future, when our pain has fully healed... that maybe you would want to be with me again. The next time... I promise, we'll be spectacular.

[kizik]

Dear X,

 

I haven't talked to you in two weeks now. Two weeks! Did you ever think we'd have such a time in our lives as now? It was unimaginable.

 

I hope you think of me. I hope you think of me in those long hours alone in your condo. I hope you don't fill your heart with unreasonable hate or anger.

 

I tried, X, tried to save us. But you're too angry. You are so unhappy. You thrive on stress and I'm never going to be that way.

 

Don't let your parents run your life, OK? They're only going to get you into trouble.

 

I can't wait for the day when we can be friends. Until then, it's going to hurt not talking to you.

 

I miss you.

[Aquarius Rising]

Dialling his number..... He pick up

 

Hi _ , it's me

 

Listen, there are a few things that I just can't seem to get my head around after our final goodbye 10 days ago and I just want to run a few things past you if that's ok?

 

What do you mean exactly when you say, 'I can accept this for what it is' ? What exactly is 'it' in your eyes....our relationship that is?

 

You'd like me to come away with for your sporting tour for three days......you'd like me to keep emailing you because you LOVE our talks....you want me to send you copies of my recorded music........ and then you say in the same breath almost.....

 

We have to be logical about all of this and remember that it's all about the "KIDS"......even if that defies some higher logic about you and I having a relationship.

 

Sorry..........but I'm more than a little confused. You really are screwed up and am sure as hell not going to settle for a relationship with you on these very sketchy terms that you talk about......you are a player.........a repeat offender..........

 

I have given away so much of me to you..........is it any wonder I am Fu&*ing exhausted!

 

One big MFer of a life lesson this is for me.................stop selling my self short!

 

I have protected you all the way through...........it's time I started to protect me.

 

I could so easy go down that road of revenge right now............as you said yourself........if your wife ever found out the TRUTH about us........your marriage would be OVER!

 

I'm a better person than that.........I have more self-respect than to do that.........unlike you who sold me out with all your lies to your wife about me. I'm the one that copped the abuse from her.............when it should have been you.

 

I will work through the Karma I have created for myself.........but it's time now that I start to see and believe what you REALLY are, a self-fish, self-seeking, ego-driven cheater.

 

I hope one day your wife wakes up........stops taking your repeated ABUSE and walks away. Maybe then you'll have a real chance and self-awareness!!

 

I am officially BLOCKING you from my LIFE.........

 

It's all about ME now!.

[Aquarius Rising]

And, read this thread as well when you get the urge to contact your ex.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t56954/

 

This is one of the best threads ever and has helped many.

 

And I agree with No Foolin, we can and do support each other on this forum through all the pain......other people do care about you!

[LikeCharlotte]

Wise words Tony.

 

Here goes another one. It's been a month and a half since the break up.

 

I love you. I still do very much. I was so cold to you throughout our relationship, just because I didn't trust that I was capable of being loved and returning that love, but you still loved me for almost 3 years. And that's why I love you. You've done what others have only attempted and for that, I love you. But I know it was a heavy price. To be with someone that did not love themselves let alone show love. It must have been lonely for you to drive so far to be with someone that did not smile your very sight. It must have been sad for you to drive so far back, to not even receive a phone call to hear of your safe return. I'm sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am. I'm sorry everyday, for allowing our relationship to fade so slowly away. I love you still, but this time away has taught me many things. One of which is that I do not truly love myself and that I'm not happy with myself and that it'll require lots of time and planning inorder to heal my mind, body and heart to what it once was, before you met me. I need to be alone in order to do that because you became my only supporting pillar. Something that I relied on solely, which made me feel even worse because I already knew in the back of my mind that I can't hold a relationship in this kind of state and it finally showed. Now that I have the time for myself to grow and learn and improve... I pray everyday that maybe in the future, when our pain has fully healed... that maybe you would want to be with me again. The next time... I promise, we'll be spectacular.

*sniff* That was so beautiful.

[replicator]

I miss you. I've wanted to send you an email, but every time I'm done writing it, I know that I'm not being honest with you.

 

I would never accept anything other than you complete love. I don't know what happened. How could you change so suddenly? Were your parents an excuse? Did you find someone else?

 

I loved you. All my memories of are us together, being happy. Nothing is the same without you. I'm putting on a brave face, and looking to change every bit of me. I know that I didn't have much to offer, but I gave you everything I had. I'm going to keep working hard, and I'm not giving up on you yet. You told me that maybe with time you'll find what you're looking for, and if you do, you would find me. I hope that day will come. I can wait forever if I knew you would return to me.

 

I love you.

[Karyyk]

I miss you. I've wanted to send you an email, but every time I'm done writing it, I know that I'm not being honest with you.

 

I would never accept anything other than you complete love. I don't know what happened. How could you change so suddenly? Were your parents an excuse? Did you find someone else?

 

I loved you. All my memories of are us together, being happy. Nothing is the same without you. I'm putting on a brave face, and looking to change every bit of me. I know that I didn't have much to offer, but I gave you everything I had. I'm going to keep working hard, and I'm not giving up on you yet. You told me that maybe with time you'll find what you're looking for, and if you do, you would find me. I hope that day will come. I can wait forever if I knew you would return to me.

 

I love you.

 

I feel for you man, I really do. I've been there before, and feel like I'm there again in some way. I read your original post about what happened...10 years is a long time. It will take a long time to heal. Your head is in the right place, even if your heart still hurts like hell. I wish you the best and hope that you receive your heart's desire.

[Nevermind]

No letter. Just this feeling. I wish I could see you. I wish you would see me. I wish you would love me again. I wish you would have meant what you wrote in those last e-mails. I wish we could at least be friends.

 

I wish I would have been worth your honesty, if not your love. I hope you'll write that letter.

[hurting_in_MA]

How are you doing? I hope you are happy. It has been two months since we last spoke, and I still feel the same way about you. I have tried to focus on things that were wrong with us, or you, or the situation, but it does not make it any better. I am trying very hard to work on me, to become happy by myself, and with who I am. I have realized that I was constantly running from my problems, but at the same time chasing things; or people who I thought would bring me happiness. I know now that I have to work through my past, and find contentment/ happiness within myself before I can bring anything to a relationship.

 

It is difficult for me to not think about you, and wonder what your life is like. Do you think of me too? Do you miss the good times we had together? I am sorry if I made you feel like I didn't want to be with you on that last night we spent together. I think that I was starting my descent into myself, but took it out on you. I should have communicated all of this with you better. At that point, I didn't realize what was going on with me.

 

I really, really miss you today.

 

Thinking about you.

[JustPassingThru]

Every morning is the same. I reach for my phone in hopes to see a missed call or a message from you. Thinking perhaps you've come to your senses...

Yet every morning I am reminded of the harsh reality. There are no messages or missed calls. I have been erased.

 

I watched you change last month. No matter how hard I tried, it just wasn't enough. You looked right past my love and pushed me away. The more I loved, the further you drifted.

 

Once again, I'm sitting here after a night spent tossing and turning. Debating wether or not I should contact you in some way. My mind tells me no, but my heart says go. Well, I know where my heart usually leads me, so I'll trust mind instead.

 

I feel like I could cave in and call you any day. But I refuse to at this moment. I hope I can stay strong enough to not give in to this.

You turned your back on me after everything. One day, you will realize what we had, and what you lost.

 

This emptiness is overwhelming. I keep telling myself you're not worth my tears. Yet I sit here with them running from my eyes.

How could you just let this dissapear?

[LikeCharlotte]

Hey ____,

 

I'm really disappointed. I wish we still had something. I'm sorry I couldn't play your little game of stringing me along while you live with someone else. I miss you. I miss you a lot. You know that though, and you don't care. You have someone. You're happy. I'm not. I always wonder what I could have or should have done differently. I'll always remember you. I really loved you. I'll always care about you. I can't talk to you because of how you are. I guess I hope you'll be happy, but at the same time regret the way things ended between us. I hope you'll call me again someday. I don't want you to hate me. I don't hate you, even though I should. I don't want to talk to you, but I want you to call. You know I love you, ____. Why did you do this? Why?

much better y. keep it calm

[tealeafbud]

not a text, just a few thoughts:

 

 

I am not mad, and I'm sorry I was cold to you when you emailed me. I was just taken by surprise. I knew that "he" wasn't around which is why you emailed me. Maybe he had to go out of town or something. For whatever reason you're trying to get a hold of me, please stop.

 

I've been in 3 weeks of NC with you and I'm feeling stronger than ever. I don't need you texting me or emailing me about how I'm doing. I did respond to you "Fine thx, u. Pls send my guitar". Then you email me about why I felt "numb" on my myspace page.

 

You need to stop and get over this, like I am trying to do. We were together for so long, which is why it's hard to move on, but we must for our own benefit. You don't know how badly I want to reach out to you, but you're in a relationship. I really don't know if we could ever be friends, but for now, you just need to stay gone and quit trying to communicate with me.

[kizik]

X,

 

I wake up every morning, hoping you've sent my a text. I wait for 3 o clock every day, when I know you're out of school. Maybe you'll call then. Maybe you'll apologize. You'll say, "I was so mean to you. Please give me another chance."

 

But you won't. You are moving on and you don't love me. These are things I'd rather not see. You've got a life planned, and I'm no longer involved.

 

I don't think you regret how you acted. You will only justify it. People on this board keep talking about how their exes will one day understand what they lost.

 

You won't. You'll never understand what you lost. You'll blame me for all our fights. You'll call me a loser in your mind. You'll say we had "different goals" and were "different people."

 

I'll tell you this:

 

I will never sing you to sleep again. I will never listen on the phone while you complain for an hour. I'll never hold you through the night. I'll never squeeze your knee. I'll never burn you another CD of my music, or those bands we love.

 

You should regret everything you did. But the truth is, you won't. I hope these people on this site understand that their exes are just as blind, stubborn and mean as you.

 

The world is yours. The world is against you. The world doesn't understand you.

 

Why don't you just move in with your parents when you get home, and you can complain to them all day, and they'll complain to you, and you'll be one big, unhappy, elitist as*hole family.

 

Enjoy always being right. You only get what you want because you're beautiful. You know that, right? You are going to break so many more hearts. I feel awful for those guys. But thank Christ I'm not one of them anymore.

[v33]

Hey you,

 

Its been two months today. I am going out on a date with a girl I met last night. She seems really great!

 

Thanks for setting me free!

[motive2002]

Mr. Y

 

I think if anyone was a candidate for some serious counseling, it would be you. I'm not trying to be mean here, it's just that you've been on these boards for a while and ranting the whole time. Even as devastated as I was, I still have at least some amount of perspective. She's not the only woman in the world. There will be others! Please get some help.

 

I do however have to give you some credit for you're creative use of "swear" words. The "Oh Darn" part really made me chuckle. I hope you can see the light in that and maybe feel a little better. Lord knows you could use a little breather from your constant ranting.

[sid3]

Sounds like Y is starting to feel a little bit better, key word> little bit

[Nevermind]

Hey Y,

 

how are you spending your days? I mean work, friends, free time? Is everything okay in that department?

[LoserAtLove]

Its been one week and one day since I last spoke with my ex. After finding her profile on match.com I want to contact her now more than ever. I finally deleted my myspace page which was a blank page anyway. I just had it to torture myself and view her profile. We where in a 3 year relationship. And officially stopped dating in march. But have been seeing each other almost every weekend in april and may. She was a liar and a cheater. But also the only thing I had going on in my life. Its been 5 months since I have had a job. Im trying hard in that department. And impossible for me to look a women in the eye and start a conversation after this breakup. I was cheated on my previous girlfriend as well. That I dated for 4 1/2 years. I really think it would help if i did start dating just to take my mind of the ex's. But I don't know what to do. See my last ex was my best friend too. So she was the only person I talked about anything real with.