0hpenelope Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 "It's been a while." I'm trying very hard - very hard - to not just fling that right back at you and your circle of friends. No amount of understanding will make things feel right again. You were gone at the darkest hours and perhaps that's for the best, because I learned how to keep quiet, keep my mouth shut, and keep my business and my pain to myself. All of you - every single one of you - will never see me miserable or hear me sad anymore. You can go back to mothering him, as you always have. It's true that it's just human nature to support the one whose emotional burden seems lightest and it's so obvious that you chose him. Text message? You got it! Text message right back at you. Good luck with everything. I mean it. Good luck with everything to all of you. You guys have no idea... in getting over my break up with him, I also needed to get over losing all of you. And now you're back. Right when I'm okay again. No! Not okay! But you will never know all of this. You won't. Link to post Share on other sites
brokendreamz Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 Yes my behaviour sucked No I don't blame you for leaving Yes I'm sad you won't give it another go Yes I am getting help and I am slowly getting better I'm starting to see the light at the end of a depressed few years and I'm scared how much I love you because if it's not returned I'm scared I'll go right into a deep depression. I love you, I know you love me, I don't NEED you to complete me but I just want you back in my life. I miss you - I miss everything about you - there really was nothing bad about you at all. I hate this. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 I've won the lottery! Link to post Share on other sites
brokendreamz Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 Congratulations! If she came back to me I'd feel like that too :0( Link to post Share on other sites
traces Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 Laying in bed, I suddenly thought of you. I can't stop crying. We haven't spoken in three months now. It's been forever since I shed a tear over you but here I am again. I know I won't contact you. I'm too afraid to find out if you've moved on. Hearing that, even after all this time, would just kill me. Link to post Share on other sites
TryTryAgain Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 Is it so bad that I love you and I'm hoping we'll end up together? Thinking of you always. I miss you. Link to post Share on other sites
Derek12b Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 Why didn't you try? Looking back, I can now see clearly that you never tried to make this marriage work from day one. Even after we were married you still kept secrets and was always looking to play the "victim" card on any man that would lend you an ear. I walked in our house tonight and noticed...there's not one picture or decoration you've hung in this house. There's no sign of a womans touch anywhere. Was it all a lie? You have destroyed our marriage, my parents marriage, our families friendship, our neighbors household and his relationship with his wife. You even went so far as to have an online relationship with your moms husband via email and now you live in the same house and your mom has no clue. You've hurt our kids, me, and the only one not hurt is YOU. How does this work? Do you not take any responsibility for your actions? What happens when you wake up one day and realize all the pain you've caused everyone around you? How do you justify your actions to our two little girls? How do you still go to church every Sunday and have the ability to walk through those doors believing your living the correct lifestyle? Why is it I was the only one trying and every time you ran off I was the one to blame. Did I not tell you I loved you everyday and showed it with actions too? In ten years I only got mad twice and all I did was raise my voice for 5 minutes each time. There were no affairs on my part. There was no abuse in any way. I loved you with passion and gave you anything you wanted. There was no drugs or alcohol and I came home every night. I had no friends down here so I always came home and made dinner...you never cooked. Oh theres so much more I want to write but it's just to damn hard to sum it all up. There's to many questions and no answers coming from you. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 Congratulations! If she came back to me I'd feel like that too :0( Why? What's changed? Link to post Share on other sites
proactivedreamer Posted April 6, 2011 Share Posted April 6, 2011 I struggle for the words cause now all I have is a physical response to your absence in my life. I feel lonely. I don't feel up to "it", you know? This complicated process of moving on, the pain of it, the terrible reality of watching you walk out of my life. It doesn't matter. What's the point of any of this anyway. You will never know. I really wish that I never met you sometimes. I just want to be over you already... Link to post Share on other sites
bl22 Posted April 6, 2011 Share Posted April 6, 2011 Take your hands off me I don't belong to you, you see Take a look at my face For the last time I never knew you You never knew me Say hello goodbye Say hello wave goodbye Link to post Share on other sites
Infomercials Posted April 6, 2011 Share Posted April 6, 2011 Hey, I miss you. I love you. I want nothing more than to call you and ask you to come over. I know you would if I asked. I understand you want and need space right now, and I'm seeing now how I smothered you out of fear that you would leave. I just wish you had talked more about how you felt before making your decision. I think we could have worked it out. I think we still can work it out. Not seeing or talking to you will be the hardest thing I've ever done, but I'll do it. I want to know what you're doing. I hope you're missing me as much as I'm missing you. Link to post Share on other sites
sniffys Posted April 6, 2011 Share Posted April 6, 2011 i dont know what i did but i miss you..i hope you find someone who loves you and wouldnt hurt you. you deserve a beautiful girl who loves you and wont treat you like scum like your ex did. i know you partly think that if you treated her better then she would be ur wife now..but your too good for her..you just dont know it. you deserve so much i wish u know that. i'll spend the rest of my life feeling like there was a little part of me that you have inside you. Link to post Share on other sites
SweetyBear Posted April 6, 2011 Share Posted April 6, 2011 Wow. I went to bed last night praying that God would either take you out of my heart and mind or make everything right between us. I felt peace after that prayer. Then when you called me in the middle of the night, I almost expected you to say you'd realized your mistakes in taking away all your time, attention and caring and that you wanted to try again. For you to call just to ask what I was doing was such a let down. I was sleeping, of course. That's what I was doing. I can't help that I'm thinking about it a bit obsessively today. I'm wondering what the real reason was. Did you just need to hear my voice? Did you want to say more than you ended up being able to? Was I just a fleeting thought, so you called me to get me off your mind? I really wish you wouldn't call unless you have something to say. Link to post Share on other sites
poopierabbit Posted April 8, 2011 Share Posted April 8, 2011 Hi Tonya, It's been a while and I need to get something out. Enough time has passed to give me some much needed perspective on what transpired in our relationship and the lessons learned so that I don't repeat them. Firstly, it needs to be said that I am better than you -- I'm better than you in a relationship and for what I can express to a partner and how I love them. Granted, our five years together was probably a time in your life where you were healing after your marriage. I'm speculating that it was somewhat impossible to expect you to even be in a loving, respectful relationship with all of your heart. I wish you would have saved me pain by being a little emotionally aware, however, and not putting yourself out there to be loved. There are good women out there. And believe it or not, they don't have the God complex to go with their career and education. I am seeing a woman I really like -- she has her own private practice, is educated, and has a great personality. It's interesting because she believes in something called "compromise." Please go look at the definition. I don't know when the anger stage passes and I'm left with some amount of peace. I'm hoping that will happen soon. I'm tired of hating you. Tired of wishing ill will your way. When it does, I'm sure I'll resign myself to loving you, but tucking it away in a corner of my heart where it can live. I don't mind to have it tucked away, but it cannot be front and center ever again. I'll never forget you and I'll always love you. Jordan Link to post Share on other sites
hunk Posted April 8, 2011 Share Posted April 8, 2011 it takes more than ****ing someone you don't know to keep yourself warm Link to post Share on other sites
SweetyBear Posted April 8, 2011 Share Posted April 8, 2011 I decided to text you so that I never wake up in the middle of the night to your voice unless you actually have something to say. I'm not criticizing you. How could you know how much that call would hurt, after all? You didn't care enough about my feelings during our relationship to try to understand me for two and a half years (you absolutely seemed to for the first six months), so why would I think you do now? I am a little frightened for the day I move past the anger of being out in a snowstorm alone when you were supposed to be coming to get me. This is probably the longest I've ever been angry at anyone. With all the hurt anybody's ever caused me, I've tried to look past it, be the better person and forgive. With you, I don't really want to do that. The anger is what keeps me from hurting. I don't think you did anything out of maliciousness, but I think there is something that keeps you from really empathizing with someone else. You held yourself out to be someone that you're not. It was more due to a lack of self-awareness than a conscious act, so I can't be too angry about that. I am angry, however, at whatever it is in you that kept you from me. I hadn't planned on ending things, but when faced with the reality that you really don't care, what could I do? Link to post Share on other sites
LoveBug1989 Posted April 9, 2011 Share Posted April 9, 2011 I see you joined Facebook again, under a different account so I wouldn't see you returned. You behave just like you did the last time you abandoned me. Eager to meet women, chatty, social, you sound happy and excited. The photo of you smiling hurt me. I used to think that smile was adorable but now all I see is a smirk. I noticed you posted many pictures of yourself, something you never did before. Are you that starved for the attention that I somehow did not give you 24 hrs a day? I'm still hurt that you could just break all your promises and create lies and then abandon me with a meager "sorry". Who was that girl that I heard you ran away with? An ex friend of yours called me and said you were missing for 2 weeks. You're a child in your mind. Take your therapist's advice and grow up. Link to post Share on other sites
Butterfly5525 Posted April 9, 2011 Share Posted April 9, 2011 Was just thinking about how you told me that you spent Valentine's day with ____ & how you said "we had so much fun"! Still feels like a knife through my heart when I think about that. Not only that you chose to spend that day with someone other than me but also that you then had the nerve to tell me how you had so much fun with her. Screw you!!! Link to post Share on other sites
0hpenelope Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 Still processing things. I remembered something that made me feel disappointed and hurt and how good it felt to say "That's for his next girlfriend to take up." It felt mostly good and a little hurtful, to be honest. I'll focus on the good instead. Link to post Share on other sites
Arikel Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 Here I am, heartbroken and barely able to hold myself together, I really wonder if you feel anything at all besides anger at being found out? I wonder if you even know the meaning of regret and remorse Link to post Share on other sites
SweetyBear Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 I was so glad for the busy weekend as it gave me less time to think of you. I had some bad moments yesterday, but I didn't call and didn't even really have the compulsion like I have in the past. Maybe I'm getting better. I think after texting you, asking you to only contact me if you have a solution to our problems and having no response, I realize finally that there is no solution. If you had anything to offer, that would've been the point to do it. The past few days, I've been extra sad, but also feel myself giving up hope which is just a part of moving on I think. No more bargains, just accepting that it did not work for us. No more blaming because it just wasn't meant to be. I wish you hadn't put yourself out there as something you're not though. I was fooled for a long time and your honesty in the beginning could've saved me a lot of heartache. Link to post Share on other sites
SimonSerenade Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 It's been quite a while since I've done one of these, maybe that spells progress, who knows, life has just been flying by these past few weeks and months, I don't think I'm over you but I'm definately getting there, I'm coming to terms with it more and more everyday, the sadness I feel mostly now is the disapointment at how things ended, how our son won't grow up the way he should of grown up, I don't blame myself anymore, not by a long shot, it's plain and simply not my fault, it's yours, you left, you ran us in to the ground, you were a pain in the ass for no reason at all, I'd be in great pain right now if I couldn't say I tried my damn hardest to put us right and that's exactly what I did, I don't even know who you are anymore or what went on in your head and to be honest, I don't want to know, I have absolutely no interest in ever speaking to you again or being a part of your life in any way what so ever, as far as I'm concerned were done and you didn't only lose a potential life partner who'd of stood by you and loved you through everything, you lost a great friendship too, all by your own doing so I hope one day you look back on that in regret and I hope I get an apology, I don't think I will mind, I don't think I'll ever hear from you again regarding those terms but I can only hope you still got that decent side of you that would want to do that, I hope one day you find someone who can treat you well and maybe be all that you wanted me to be, I won't hold my breath that you will mind cause in my heart and mind, I know I'm the best you've ever had and ever will have, this will be my last message here cause I don't feel a need for this site anymore, I'm moving on with life and I'm happy, I can't ask for more than that Link to post Share on other sites
IfiKnewThen Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 hey simonserenade i just want to say i was wondering how you are doing. come back once and a while and say hi... and vent or share a celebration if you ever want. good luck to you always. and just focus on that child of yours. she really wasnt worth it if she could try in any way to work it out and communicate. you will do fine especially down the line. take care and God bless. Link to post Share on other sites
ladeedee Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 Hey *******! So you did a great job in making sure that I caught wind that you updated your status to single again after 5 weeks of being single. You are such an attention whore. Why don't you just stop the drama. I can't even believe you anymore. I thought I knew you and you only keep hurting me. Why are you doing this to me? Never speak to me again. I want nothing to do with you. Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 (edited) So if I let you go you'll respect me and you'll "let me in more"? Hey, guess what? I don't respect YOU. You know what honey.. if it wuz just you and me and you wanted out I'd be FINE with that. What I struggle with mightily is the fact I barely see my son and I have to pay you out over a grand a month so you can go out and buy more trampy clothes to impress your new dirtbag boyfriend you lied about and who isn't divorced either!!! You're a horrible person. Thanks for all the bad memories. ps- i hope you pick up an STD, preferably genital wartz but I'd settle for herpes simplex 3. Edited April 13, 2011 by marqueemoon4 Link to post Share on other sites
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