Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[reallyconfused2542]

its the third day of NC with you and i hope your suffering just as much as i am. but really im coming to think that your not. your young and immature and i guess if you cant believe in me changing why should i believe in you. i had all the faith in the world in you , sorry that i didn't always show it but not wanting to work and just stay home and be a housewife? i think in the end id like to be with someone that wants to work and contribute and not just throw all the responsibility on me and stay home and clean the house. while thats really nice in theory , i don't really think the real world operates like that. but i guess good luck with doing that for whatever new guy your going to be with. in the end though i guess i would like it to be me and i know that a contradiction to what i said above but if you were to be able to make me happy i would be willing do do that to ensure your happiness as well.maybe im just conflicted right now as to what i want. i know i want you but do i want everything that your going to bring to the table?

[worldgonewrong]

You're not going to break me, sweet heart.

[Disastor]

S-

 

I still love you =/

[IfiKnewThen]

there is to much to relate to on this thread

[Blueberry7691]

J-

 

Damn you. I'm so f ing depressed right now.

[heartbroken555]

Hey ! its been about 3 weeks ! How have you been doing you selfish, attention craving, bad attitude, immature heart broker ?

 

Its funny, that in your last email you said you have moved on already after 2 month, and found someone else, and that you are now happy and that you actually did love me, but that you dont feel the same way anymore. Whats even funnier, is i actully moved 2 streets down from your house, 2 weeks prior to you leaving me like a coward.

you claim in your last email that you were unhappy for the last 2 month... then why didnt you tell me, you would have savec me alot of money from moving so close to you, and so far away from all my friends and familly. How dare you say you didnt mess around with my feelings. You did ! just a few days before breaking up, i was the man of your dreams, who you would never leave. But now you did, out of nowhere, because it seems you just got bored, and you moved on to the next one. Like your previous boyfriends, i should have known when you told me you left them because, you were "bored' and you wanted something new!...

i guess you will end up like your mother, unhappy, 55 years old, divorced twice and with a stupid boyfriend you dont even love, who you dont want to live with after 3 yrs, just to keep you company in your miserable life and on anti-depressents !

 

I feel stupid that i didnt trust my instincts knowing you were a selfish little girl with some major issues in life. Like the fact your sister was a stripper, and she had issues in her life and all the attention went to her while you were younger. maybe thats why you need so much attention now, and you club wearing sexy clothe every weekend, boosting your ego with every dick that flirts with you !

 

Im happy its over now, and that it didnt go any longer, because i would have been really crushed if you had pulled the same stunt your mom pulled on your dad... leave him after 15 yrs of marriage for a bozo and take his money !

 

Im so gratefull i dont love you anymore. the only feelings i have for you now is hatred and disgust ! Im glad that you like bad boys, and that you though i was one, maybe becauseo f my looks, but turns out im a nice guy, and i got boring for you..

 

well hey ! i hope you meet a badboy who will treat you like ****, and cheat on you, and then maybe youll be happy .....

nahhhh i dont think youll ever be happy...

 

dont blame being unhappy because you were with me, i treated you like a queen and endured your bad attitude, and your lack of respect.

I know some people say i should forgive you, so i can move on...

well i forgive you, but that doesnt change the fact that im disgusted !

 

Have a nice life!

[hopeful4someday]

The last time we talked I said I'd take a few months and maybe get back in touch when I felt ready to be friends again. But I've had some time away and time to think and I realized that I was right all along and we were NEVER friends.

 

 

I found some things I wrote about you in my old journals:

 

05-May-07:

 

"So I'm in my longest adult 'relationship'. Though I'm not sure how much of a relationship it is, or for that matter, how much of one I'd like it to be. ... I meant it to be a one-nighter. I meant what I always mean -- make me feel wanted, then I'm done. And that's exactly what I got, but it's going on 5 months."

 

15-Jun-07:

 

"I'm not sure what I did with R yesterday. I think I broke up. I left him a letter saying we could be serious or we could be nothing. I think it'll be nothing. I'm not sure what happened. We met in December, about 6 months ago. Early on was good. He called me a lot, I balked a lot. We'd go and hang out and talk. Then New Year's we fooled around, and all downhill from there. He used to be all candles and compliments. One night was cute, he touched my dimple and smiled and it's stupid I remember, but it was sweet. And he kissed me on the cheek in the morning. I don't know. So lately it's been awkward. he doesn't call. I guess I should be done. It hurts. And yet he's the one person I want to call. I want to hug him and I want him there when I'm sleeping. And I hate it, because he doesn't care and he never will."

 

24-Jun-07:

 

I chronicled some text messages.

 

"'Do you even actually like me?' I texted. 'Cuz it's sure hard to tell a lot.'

 

Nothing. I got angry. 'Well i would come up, but i guess u changed ur mind," I wrote back. After a long pause, 'My phone died. I tried to say yes.'

 

'To coming up, liking me, or changing ur mind? There were a lot of qs there,' I wrote.

 

He called. 'To your question. The only question. Why would you think I didn't like you?'

 

'Well, you only call late at night.'

 

'I'm just trying to say hi. But nevermind. If you think that way you shouldn't come.'

 

So we negotiated. I went up at 4 am and he was asleep in bed. We got up around 9:30. He asked if I wanted breakfast. I said sure. He made us oatmeal. So we talked about needing to talk for a long time. He asked if I thought we should end. I said yes. He says he cares about me, but not relationships. Meh. He says he doesn't want to be upset. He said I'd really like his dad. Is it done?"

 

02-Sep-07

 

"So I'm turning 25 soon. I'm in a dead-end job and a dead-end relationship with R, who is always available when he is horny, absolutely NEVER available the rest of the time. I told him if we got in another fight I'd call it quits, and that moment is rapidly approaching. I want to do it before my birthday 'cause he's just going to f*** it up and make me feel like s***, but part of me wants him to prove me wrong. But people don't change.

 

Update, 5:19 pm.

 

We started the breaking up process. It's not done, but it will be. I know it's for the best. Mostly I see him as an old man, anyway. But I want to tell him how much he hurt me and how he should feel for leading me on, and how I hope some ass does what he did to me to his daughter someday. I'm 24. I want to be in love, not some plaything."

 

04-Jul-09

 

"Speak of the Devil. 2 years ago, 24-Jun. R. So it's appropriate now that he is again on my mind. Let me fill you in:

 

He never made up his mind. he pleaded for time and space and made me his mistress, enforced his boundaries. On Thursday 6/18 he refused to let me take a picture. I broke off our strained 'friendship'. Avoided him at German Park last weekend. He txted me last night, "hows life". F*** him.

 

I cant believe this has gone on so long. I can't believe I'm still hung up on a guy who only likes me because I'm good in bed.

 

F*** him.

 

I want to message his kids on facebook for kicks."

 

After that, I had a heart to heart with myself and somehow decided that *I* was wrong, that I was selfish and pushing too hard. So like an idiot I went back and thought if I was just nice enough it would work out ok. And to some extent it did. You stopped ignoring me, started paying attention, started being more helpful, starting acting the way I wanted you to. But we still had the same old fights.

 

And finally after we broke up we had this exchange in text:

 

Me: Question.

You: ok?

Me: Promise ull answer, y or n only

You: ok

Me: Notwithstanding ur relationshippal quirks, did u ever feel like u loved me?

You: no

Me: K thx. Wish ud have said that about 5 yr ago.

 

Go to f****** hell. You're the biggest piece of crap I've ever spent any time with. The only good thing to come out of this is that I know now beyond any doubt that I was right the whole freakin' time and that all the lies you told me to get me into bed again and again were just that: lies. I sure hope you get what you deserve.

[make me feel better]

why do i think about you every day every night? why can't i get you out of my head. you don't care that you've hurt me and still hurting me. so why do i still love you? maybe i don't love who you are now but how you were when we were together. why can't i stop hoping one day you'll realize that you were wrong for leaving and that you'd just come back to me...and we can start over. sometimes i wish i never met you so you didn't play with my emotions and lead me to this painful experience i'm going through because of you. you once made me so happy but now all i feel is extreme sadness because you took it all away. you can continue your life and never look back at what you've done to me and how you've hurt me over the past few months. i just want to know what you are thinking when you decide to leave without giving me a reason and do you ever think about me now? even though you are smarter than me, you suck at dealing with problems and your own emotions. even if one day you realize that you **** up our friendship things could never go back to the way they were because you've hurt me so much. you've proven to me that i am nothing to you and that our years of friendship meant nothing so things will never be the same between us. i just want answers and you refuse to give them to me and i hate you for that. you're are a cruel heartless person because you don't realize that you're continuing to hurt me by refusing to give me some sort of closure to our past relationship. even though u can move on, i can't... that is unfair. i hope i can forget about you and that i can stop hurting because of you.

[Kristie16]

I see you joined twitter a few days after i blocked you on facebook and started using that more. You were probably keeping tabs on me since my tweets were public, huh? Well, now they aren't. You don't deserve to know what I'm up to.

 

I also saw the photographs proofing you had a Halloween party without inviting me when you knew I was home alone and bummed that we weren't doing anything. You told me you had to work late. But instead you invited your sleazy girl friends over so they could parade in their lingerie "costumes" for you.

 

You also made me think I was crazy for casually questioning you on some of the gut instincts I had and when I realized things didn't add up. My day job is to question people and seek the truth and investigate people. It's second nature now to question something when things don't add up. There were lots of times in our relationship when things just didn't add up, but you always made me feel like I was crazy or being that paranoid girlfriend.

 

Well, now, especially, with these new pictures and catching you in other lies, I realize many of my gut instincts were probably right on and I wasn't so paranoid. I was just noticing things I

 

I can't blame it all on you. I had these instincts and thoughts and chose to either ignore them. But you also could have very easily just broken up with me back then, instead of keeping up a charade and lying to me. Now that I've got you in this lie about the party (what is that? the 4th or 5th major lie?), I'm questioning every time you said you had to work late or you were just at home watching TV.

 

And the far fetched time I got upset because SHE said that to me about you two and you TOTALLY denied it? It doesn't seem so far fetched now that I piece it altogether with these pictures.

 

I don't want to think i wasted a year on you, because I learned a lot. But I'm disappointed that I let myself continue and change my life despite these gut instincts I had. I can honestly say that will never again happen.

 

I also want to say that at this point, I don't ever see us being friends. There's really no boy. We don't work on even the most basic level, like whether or not lying is something you do in a relationship.

[Sassygirl2]

You said it would be forever. You promised you would always be there for me. You're such a liar. I told you about my problems with anxiety and that I get panic attacks when I get really stressed and scared. You talked me through them in the beginning. I always told you up front about everything! You say you just got tired of me always being stressed and that I took everything out on you! Yes, I did take some things out on you BUT I wasn't happy either. I just couldn't admit it to myself. I loved a lot of things about US but not everything. I was willing to overlook many things because I thought I tuly loved you. You weren't able to do that. You were quiet and sometimes when I asked you a question you would ignore me. I needed way more attention that you gave me. You were a dud sometimes. Especially in the bedroom. I have a high sex drive and you just couldn't deliver because you were always so f*#^en tired all the time. If you would get some help for your sleep apnea then maybe you would get more sleep.

 

But none the less, I miss you terribly. I miss hanging out with you watching TV and cooking dinner. I miss going to soccer games and concerts with you. I miss your phonecalls and funny texts all day. I miss your sweet kisses and holding your hand. Now I'm alone and it sucks. I don't like being alone without you. You had my back and we were always there for each other.

 

But I will get over this, I will. I will be stronger now. I just have to give it time and try to heal. Maybe there is hope for us in the future. Who knows. I have to work on some things first though. I'm glad we are going to remain friends (if thats possible.)

[allie_lgh]

I miss you, but you're not there anymore. I thought I missed you because you're not here anymore, but you don't exist anymore. What we had was special. What we had was strong. You let your boys into your head, began caring what other's who don't know **** think about your life. Where are you now? You exchange your prayer and your wisdom for binge drinking and beer sluts. You say you're sorry, that you'll love me forever. You're nothing more than a selfish dick. How dare you send me "I am sorry", like it's meaningful at all. How dare you blame me for my faults and my hand in the game when you've been dealing the cards the entire time. Who are you to tell me I'm the bad guy?! Am I the bad guy for making mistakes? For trying to fix them after? For owning my actions and making the changes necessary? Or are you for pointing fingers and placing blame with no comprehension of your own short comings. How dare you think you're better than me in this. I will be your haunting nightmare, I could have been your dream.

[proactivedreamer]

For whatever reason your news left me unsettled. Why rebuke me? Why punish me the way you did, initially, when I dream the way you do? You astound me! I am just really bothered by it all...

[dragonfly22]

I'm sorry for neglecting you during the last year of our relationship but you know I was having a hard time with work. We went through so much during our years together and we always had each other's back. I'm so sorry you never told me you started having feelings for someone else. I'm sorry you treated me like crap during the breakup and now I have a bittersweet memory of our relationship. But above all I'm sorry that we couldn't have one last chance. I hate that you are with her and not here. I hate that she is now your girl and not me. You said you would always fight for us. We would always be together. Why couldn't you keep your promise???

[Sassygirl2]

After I saw you today, I cried. I just realized how much I miss you. You were really nice and friendly today when you dropped the dog off. You were even nice to the girls and made an effort to speak with them. You kept your sunglasses on the whole time which was weird. You kept saying that you had to leave to pick up your kids (like I didn't know that). You didn't want to stay for very long and guess what, NOONE was KEEPING YOU HERE. You are a big coward. You were nervous and I knew it. You know i want to work things out - I think I made that clear. I'm sure you think I'm sitting around missing you (which is very true) but I would not want you to know that! I do miss you and love you. You were a pain in the ass sometimes but I was too. That was why we were SO good. I did freak out and unleash on you in front of the kids. I ****ed up big time but for you to just walk away and not try to talk to me about this. Doesn't make sense. Not at all. At least not to me. I know you're kids are going to come first. I did try to understand that but sometimes I would feel left out or ignored by you. I didn't like that at all.

[LikeCharlotte]

Hey...

"What is the victory of a cat on a hot tin roof? - I wish I knew... Just staying on it, I guess, as long as she can..." Maggie, Cat On A Hot Tin Roof, Tenessee Williams

for 48 hours that is all I have been thinking and I'm just talking to the air because you are the only person I know who I can say these things to. It is a blessing that I am too uncomfortable to consider the gray cloud over my future.

-Charlotte

[donelly1]

Im feel like I lost my best friend. I cant believe that it has been 4 weeks now and I havent heard from you. I was serious about us although sometimes you may have doubted that. I know that I need to move on and I am not sure that we could ever be together anymore. During one of the most difficult times in my life transitioning out of college and moving across the world you were not there for me. That is something I dont think that I can ever fully forget. I really wanna be over you but I cant stop thinking about you all the time and dreaming about you. It is unbelievable to me after all the good times we shared together and experiences we had with one another that you have disappeared off the face of the earth. I wish there was a way for me to delete those memories. I would rather feel physical pain than feeling like Im a shell of a person every day. I hope with time things will get better but it has been almost a month now. I miss you so much and wish that you would call me but I have already told you all that I feel and the decision is up to you. I dont know what happened to us. We had something others were jealous of, and I wish I didnt take you for graunteed as much as I did. I know that it is over but it will take some time for my heart to feel the same way.

[ironmanpower]

Dear Ex,

 

You're a bitch! I can't believe you've been cheating my feelings all this while. I hate you for turning down my proposal last Xmas and a week later saying that you want some time alone to sort out your feelings. I gave you time out and after a few months later, I heard that you're with someone.

 

For the record, you do not know what you want in life and jump from one boyfriend to another. Your loved ones around you are sad for your lack of direction in life, be it career or relationship coz you dont know what you want.

 

Good luck to you. I'm moving on. I'm treating myself to a 2 week holiday and am selling away the engagement ring to get myself a nice Rolex.

[cerridwen]

:D:D So...would you STILL vote for Trump?

[radiodarcy]

you. are. SCUM!

[inthedeep]

At this time last year, we were going to a wedding. We were a new couple and I was beyond excited you had invite me. The wedding was absolutely beautiful, you teared up and I thought it was so sweet. We had the greatest time up in the mountains. Upon coming home, you were so reluctant to help me move out of my place, even though it took less than an hour. I remember thinking that was a little hurtful. Fast forward to the end of the summer, you broke up with me and weren't there to help me move out at the end of the semester... again. Fast forward again to the end of our year and a half relationship. Here I am, graduating, moving out and guess who's missing.... you.

 

You always picked the most opportune times to leave my life. Basically, moving is a metaphor for when things got real, you left. You're avoidant and I'm aggressive and we used to balance each other. It's so painful you would break up with me 1 week before my graduation. We spent nearly everyday with each other for so long, and now you throw me out at what is supposed to be the happiest time of my life so far and don't care who I spend this time with.

 

Right now I honestly hate you.

[Blueberry7691]

I really don't have much to say to you.

 

I was reading my diary from 3+ years ago and it almost seemed like I was a different person. I remember it but it doesn't feel like me.

 

The funny thing is, I was reading how you would tell me 'communication is important' and I said 'we'll be friends forever' and yet none of that came true. We ended up both being lousy communicators and we are no longer friends. Kind of sad in a way. Didn't think we'd end it over something that could've been worked out. Ha! Go figure.

 

Anyway, I'm still glad it's over. Now, I'm going to focus on myself and enjoy life even if you're not in it. You don't define me. 4 months have past. I am stronger than I thought.

[TragicAlliance]

Thank you for showing me that I need to work on myself. I am obviously more gullible than I previously thought, and I guess I never would've found that out if you hadn't opened my eyes.

 

You. Are. Selfish. I can't believe I couldn't realize just how simple it all is! You're selfish. It's all about YOU. It was always what YOU wanted. What YOU needed. What YOU felt. You, you, you. What about ME? The only time I mattered ANYTHING to you was when I started getting the courage to desert you like you've done to me COUNTLESS TIMES.

 

You're a manipulating, lying child who was gifted with a silver tongue. You're a charmer - you won me over with a sweet disposition and knowing just what to say... and then you turned into a viper. You've wrapped around me and you're constricting the very life out of me. When I try to break free, you squeeze tighter. Eventually you're going to destroy me... then what? I guess you'd just go on to try and find someone else to sink your teeth into.

 

No matter how many times you tell me "I want to make this work" and "I can change," I CAN'T believe you. You show NO signs as to wanting to make this work; you show NO signs of wanting to change. I've stupidly made it SO OUTRAGEOUSLY EASY for you to know what I want, and you IGNORE IT! You sit back, stuff your fingers in your ears and sing "I can't hear you! La la la!" until I give up.

 

Let me pass along something you may not be aware of: Altering your habits for a few weeks only to go back to your old ways is NOT changing, it's deceitful. You dig in, convince me everything's gonna be alright, and then when you're comfortable thinking I'm complacent again, you start your same old games. You have absolutely NO RESPECT for me, my feelings, or my opinions. And if you can't be bothered to respect me, you know where the road is... don't let the door hit you on the way out (because I won't ask if you're okay... I'll laugh).

 

LEAVE. ME. ALONE. Go wrap yourself around someone else. Someone who will tolerate your childish nonsense and stroke your ego on a regular basis... because, damnit, I'm done being your toy. You treated me like dirt, like I was nothing... now YOU'RE nothing.

 

All I can think of is this lyric from Theory of a Deadman: "I'm fed up, so get up and GET OUT."

[TazoCoffee]

Dear EX,

 

I dont know how to put this in nice terms but "You breaking up with me was the best thing that happened to me this year". Screw the memories ;]. YES, it hurt like a B!tch and i was super UPSET for a while. I did hit rock bottom and it did take me a while to climb back up. During those times, honestly, i thought i lost the best thing that happened to my life but it turns out You weren't. But now i can clearly see that you were never there for me and you never tried to understand me. It was all about "what you thought was right" and everything i thought or believed in was wrong. You are too narrow minded and you need to realize that NOT EVERYONE IS LIKE YOU. YOu told me i have so much things to learn, but YOU DO TOO. I'm finally glad i got to see your true colors in our breakup!! I cant say I fully moved on yet but the minute i do, its going to be as if you never exist and i'm never looking back.

 

Even though things didn't work out between us and you are a jerk, i still wish you the best. I do forgive you because i know humans aren't perfect. It was my fault that i had great expectations from you. I know i can wish for karma so you can get what you deserve but I'm not (im going to be the bigger person here). Im just going to wish you a good life. So have a good life and hope i never have to see you again. Take care. Wish your family the best too. Good bye.

 

P.s. one day, hope you realize what you loss (especially our friendship). You have the most crappiest friends ever (they backstabbed you and everything). They were never there for you, i was the only true friend you had. YES, i know i have so much things to learn about this world but so what.. So what if i dont have street smarts? I can always learn. Its not a skill that i'll lack forever.. tsk tsk. At least, i have morals and values in life. I know i have every right to hate your guts but i'm not going to hate you. You dissed me so much when you ended it with me. You complained about all my flaws but yet, i haven't even told you about yours. You see, its not because you don't have any but its just because i didn't see a point in pointing it out. its pathetic that you think your perfect and GREAT. Perfect MY BUTT. ha! Honestly, im not even worried about meeting other better guys. I thought you were different from the rest of the PIGS out there but you turned out to be the same as them. I really liked you alot and cared about you so much but it doesn't matter anymore.

Edited May 3, 2011 by TazoCoffee

[TragicAlliance]

Glad I could help you out!

 

I feel TONS better having gotten that off my chest. It was boiling inside of me for most of the day, and I actually fought myself viciously about posting it.

 

But I'm glad I did. I feel better. =)

[Blueberry7691]

I was so full of anxiety this morning when I saw you wrote me.

 

I didn't want you to try to fix things. I just want to move on.

 

Thanks for sending it but it doesn't change anything and I'm not responding.

Edited May 4, 2011 by Blueberry7691
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