Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[sultry33]

well day 2 of no contacting you.. seems strange, feel lost and still upset.. thinking i pushed too hard fast.

im the type that if you want something fight for it.. well i did.

 

i cant wait to feel numb.. feel pretty dumb as you seem to be ok.. probably glad that i broke it off now.

still think back to how you used to fight for me.. miss me, love me.

but how can you say move on if you love me.. you want me to be with someone else?

i dont really think i fancy you anymore i think i just miss you.. no butterflies last time. hell i nearly didnt bother showing up!

you say "fate" will decide in future if we are meant to be together.. no you decided you didnt want to be together..

 

yeah kids.. you will always have a problem with anyone that has kids.. im sorry but you crave too much attention and need to control too much..

only child is prob the reason and your mum being so critical of you.. you will work this out someday..

 

you can get busy.. stay busy.. flirt with any lost soul.. but deep down you know we was right.. ok so we didnt have the drama like most couples but we had love..

im not waiting for fate.. miracle.. im not chasing.. hoping.. regreting.. im

going to live my life and you know what im going be just fine

i will miss you.. i will always love you but i will love again and trust again.

i wish you well i really do and i hope you will find a love you will go through hot coals for.. i was not enough i know this.

[Keelz]

It's been 14 months and I still go through life feeling like half of me is missing....it's the loneliest and saddest feeling in the world. I've tried everything to let you go and accept that you can't be with me, but I'm beginning to realise that I just don't know how to. I'm only 22 years old but I can honestly say that I have never loved another like I still love you....I just want the pain to go away. I don't want to hurt anymore

[inulg]

i'm so upset at you. i'm so frustrated. i heard what you said about me. i heard what you think about me. i know i look like some pathetic worthless peice of crap, sending you angry text after text this saturday. you've broken my heart, destroyed my dreams, ripped away my happiness. and yet you dont give a **** because you're a selfish ass who doesnt know any better. who doesnt understand how to feel sorry for someone. I *harass* you for only 3 days and i'm hearing that you want to get a restraining order? because i texted you 3 times for day 1, called you once. trying to apologize that things had gone bad. Day 2 i texted again 3 times, and called twice. I was being NICE again. and day 3... well i should have quit while i was ahead. i got kind of angry. especially since i'm a very forgiving person, but what you did those two times, abuse me... i'm still upset about that. you never answered my calls/texts. so, restraining order? the hell? yeah. 3 days of harassment. whatever. i'm not contacting you ever. for the rest of my life. for the rest of my after life. youve hurt me so much. i dont even know what kind of person i became before the breakup. you made me small and made my feelings seem insignificant. you never appreciated me. you broke my self-esteem. and thats why *I* should have broken up with you. i shouldent have hung in there and thought you actually loved me. i'm never NEVER EVER. going to talk to you again. and you know what? you dont give a **** anyway, because your BIG ****ING HEAD thinks that everything is my fault. (oh yeah remember how you told me it was MY FAULT you hit me? oh yeah, i'm lovin that too) because you're immature and dont know how to resolve ****.

[Issues & tissues]

I looked at myself in the mirror today and I could barely recognize myself. Just a shadow of my former self.

 

I've lost all faith in people and all confidence in love. I now think that being "in love" is vile. Repulsive. Almost peverted.

 

My life is sardine-packed full of activities. Yet, it is empty. I am surrounded by crowds of people. Yet, I am lonely. I see colours. Yet, everything is just a mish-mash of different shades of grey. I laugh out loud with friends. Yet, inside I am wailing silently.

[v33]

Hey, it's been almost a week since I contacted you and vowed to myself it would be the last time, ever. Good for me! And I will NEVER call you again, nor speak to you if you call me.

 

Sucks you live nearby and I might see you around sometime. Not because it would be hard, but just because you're a lunatic and I would prefer we never cross paths.

 

Oh, and I spent the entire weekend with a woman (she's younger than you, but has her life together and actually has something to offer me in her companionship, intelligence and love for life.... I see now you are just a girl, and a silly one at that) who is absolutely amazing. We had a great time doing things I would never have done with you.... cooking together, going hiking, walking around quaint little towns. And I'll be seeing her again, and often!

 

Anyways, thanks for leaving! I know I acted like I wanted you back, but my ego was just a little bruised. And I have realized since then that I never wanted you, I just had a sick need to take care of someone, and you are as messed up as they come. I've seen what it's like to be an equal and respected in a relationship instead of a caretaker.

 

Good luck!!!!

[Abomination]

F*** YOU BITCH!

 

Day 4 of NC. BRING IT ON! If you think I'll let you waltz back into my life whenever you need a shoulder to cry on, THINK AGAIN, you stupid BITCH. Kiss my hairy ass!

 

- A

[sunshinegirl]

Hey, it's been almost a week since I contacted you and vowed to myself it would be the last time, ever. Good for me! And I will NEVER call you again, nor speak to you if you call me.

 

Sucks you live nearby and I might see you around sometime. Not because it would be hard, but just because you're a lunatic and I would prefer we never cross paths.

 

Oh, and I spent the entire weekend with a woman (she's younger than you, but has her life together and actually has something to offer me in her companionship, intelligence and love for life.... I see now you are just a girl, and a silly one at that) who is absolutely amazing. We had a great time doing things I would never have done with you.... cooking together, going hiking, walking around quaint little towns. And I'll be seeing her again, and often!

 

Anyways, thanks for leaving! I know I acted like I wanted you back, but my ego was just a little bruised. And I have realized since then that I never wanted you, I just had a sick need to take care of someone, and you are as messed up as they come. I've seen what it's like to be an equal and respected in a relationship instead of a caretaker.

 

Good luck!!!!

 

This is wonderful. Bravo, v33!!!

[inulg]

Anyways, thanks for leaving! I know I acted like I wanted you back, but my ego was just a little bruised. And I have realized since then that I never wanted you, I just had a sick need to take care of someone, and you are as messed up as they come. I've seen what it's like to be an equal and respected in a relationship instead of a caretaker.

 

Good luck!!!!

 

bravo!! *clap* I think when you get to that point in the recovery you start to be able to see how much progress you've made and finally can move on!!

[kizik]

I never post here, but I hate your f*cking guts you stupid c*nt I f*cking hate you for not calling, I hate myself for feeding your ego with that stupid f*cking email, "ooh, I hope you're doing well, I wish you the best" What a f*cking joke I shouldn't have said a word, you c*nt, all it did was make you feel like I was still on that string, you don't feel any pain, do you, god I hate you and your f*cking family, I hate your stupid arrogance.

 

I Hate you I hate you I f*cking hate you Rachel, I hate your name and I hear it five times a day, I hate the city of Bend, Oregon because you lived there, I hate love and I hate anyone who thinks they're in it, I've lost control of my words, I never post like this, I hate that I sit home and get drunk and check LS and have no self-control, I turn my computer off and back on, and I hate that no one can help me, and I hate that I'm ranting, and I hate that you don't care, f*ck you, if you were dead, if you were dead I could get over you. I hope you get your heart stomped on, crushed, broken, I hope you get hurt somehow, please get hurt, you suck, you suck, you are such a cheap liar, I am not mature, I am a pretender, I am human, I am not a shell of a person like you. Say you're sorry. Say it. Say it, you stupid c*nt. You f*cking wh*re, you'll never call. You'll never call, but I'll never contact you again. Never. Not once. No. no. no. no. no. no matter how i feel.

[iwish]

Hey baby,

 

Miss you lots and lots. I'd do anything just to call you up and chat. No stress, no arguments just a nice friendly chat. You can whinge about your day and i'll try and soothe you, then maybe meet up tonight and take a stroll along the thames, stop in a couple of pubs on the way. Just like we used to.

 

Do you forget about them times babe? or do you only remember the lies your ex told? Am i really nothing to you now?

 

Is the guy i saw you with getting some loving from you? I hope not!..

 

AAGGGGHHHH!!

 

I hate missing you, i hate it so much. I want to be like you. Just indifferent. Just not caring one way or the other. I treated you good babe, i gave you my all. You gave me nothing in return (apart from great sex) and yet i'm the one pining for you, whilst you're probably happy as larry.

 

It's just no fair!!

[stolenheart123]

Its been 36 days since we last spoke or had any sort of contact. Its been hard to say the least, but in my heart I know u dont love me anymore. Even though you told me in not so many words I didnt want to believe it. I now feel it, i hope no one ever misleads you the way you mislead me.

 

I've been told love conquers all no matter how big or small, And although im bruised my words are true, You pretend i'm a stranger or sumone u dont even know, But love is a mirror of things we cant show, You can pretend I dont exist, but i know u, Deep in your heart, wen things fall apart, U run and hide like a frail little child, Put on a strong face, but inside ur dyin alive, These are things i've witnessed in ur life, I've seen u without ur disguise, And thats the way i choose to remember u in my eyes, I've revised who I am,Even if u feel u can never talk to me again, Know we shared something that cant be explained, Attained love cant be contained, but now i must maintain, All I can do is stay true to my beliefs, And in times of weakness, i ask god to seek our best interest, I am here for you, and i hope u stumble upon dis one day, And the day u do, i have forgiven u, i hope u can forgive me too, Theres so much we cant undo, i jus want to thank u, You always thought i was better off witout u, that was never true, I hope ur life brings sunlight again, and my whispers echo in ur life, I know u can do it, i believe in u, more than u will ever know, U dont have to block me out, ive got the key to unlock me now, i had to do this to come clean, To break free, and set my conscience to serene, If u choose for us to neva talk again, u have my blessings, I will see u in Heaven, and smile upon ur face, And give u da embrace i couldnt 2000 miles away

 

It will all get better in time

[stolenheart123]

I was doing so much better until I found out you really are and have moved on with sumone else. But now i must heal, i dont hate u, but u are so selfish, everything always had to be your way. I've learned from my mistakes, i hope you are happy now. I know we will never talk again, and its best that way. Im glad u dont live here, or the same state, ur 2000 miles away. Goodbye

[critter909]

I am having the hardest time not calling you today! I am obsessing again about you coming home. I keep thinking you miss me too but have too much pride. I can't lose my faith in you and what we shared, I'm trying, I really am. I keep trying to think about all the negative things and bad times, this worked for a while but for some reason not anymore. I hope you do get in touch with me, even if just to reject me again. I think the first time has worn off somehow, I need to be reminded that you don't want me anymore.

[ate_the_paint]

So how are you? I worry about you, you know. You used to come to me when you were down and times were tough. When you cried I used to hold you, remember? Now you're out there with some guy you barely know. Will he do the same?

 

I know there's another guy there because I know you better than anyone. I know you can't do it alone. You cheated on me and left me and ran right into someone else's arms. Remember when you told me that was how you always ended up breaking up with a boyfriend? Remember when you said you had grown out of that? You would never, ever hurt me like that? I was your soul-mate? Fate had brought us together? You couldn't wait to be old on your family's homestead front-porch with me?

 

Geez, I guess you spoke too soon?

 

I was crazy in love with you and I still am. That's why I proposed to you. Remember what you said when I was shaking and holding up a ring? You said "Yes!" and fell into my arms.

 

Spoke too soon again, eh?

 

Remember how you made love to me several times the night before you left? Remember how you said "I love you..see you in a week!". Remember how you shut your phone off and I could never hold you again?

 

You spoke too soon.

 

Remember how good I was to you? Remember how funny and adventurous and handsome I am? Remember how I always stayed loyal and never gave you a reason to fear that I would hurt you? Remember how I cooked you dinner and rubbed your feet and ran you baths and drank wine with you all night long? Remember how you could fart in front of me? Remember how you could do those cute little cheerleader dances in front of me because you "felt so comfortable"? And then you left me the way you did. Good luck finding someone else like me. You messed up when you left me.

 

You definitely spoke too soon.

[iain]

I'll wait for your answer but I can't put my life on hold.

[sunshinegirl]

Eric--

 

I am a strong person, but you brought me to my knees. I can't believe I struggle to believe I'm worthy, that it wasn't me, that it's you. I can't believe I compare myself to your hooch and wonder how I don't measure up. I can't believe how hard it is for me to say with clarity and conviction that "I deserve better." I can't believe I miss you even though I felt lonely when I was with you. I can't believe my anger and self-righteousness still fades to a deeper core of concern and care for you.

 

I always said I wanted you to be happy. I am not sure I understood - and I'm certain you don't understand - that real happiness will always be out of reach as long as you refuse to dig deep and do the hard work of understanding why you have done what you did.

 

Part of me wishes, longs, to hear that you have called off all relationships and dived into long-term therapy. I could be proud of you then. The part of me that always saw your potential could be glad that maybe you will finally uncover it. As it is, it is so upsetting to think of you blithely going along with the hooch, thinking your life will be terrific because you've somehow stumbled onto the right person. I think I finally see that you sleeping with her before your tears were dried from breaking my heart had to be some kind of self-medication, some kind of "let me shut off the pain of what I just did to SSG by screwing the hooch."

 

I am shattered by the loss of respect maybe most of all. Your lack of respect for me in letting things happen with the hooch behind my back, and my lack of respect for you for having done it and for going into shutdown mode two weeks later, in the face of my devastation.

 

I don't understand how you could be so cold and defensive. Name one thing I did, just one, in the entire course of our relationship that gave you any kind of reason to cheat on me, any kind of justification at all. There is none. So how can you act like it wasn't a big deal and wasn't the most profoundly hurtful thing you could ever have done to me?

 

Maybe this is all coming up because I will be with M and J tomorrow - your two best friends. I wish you could just be dead to me, but you won't be because I will hear your name every now and then as long as they are in my life.

 

I wish I had been in love with a mature, self-reflective person. It seems instead that I was in love with a scared child who is not able to think of others, despite any statements or appearances to the contrary. You weren't lying when you said you can't empathize with others, but I never thought I would suffer on account of that deficiency.

 

Still, my heart is entangled and sad about you. I wish I could roll back the calendar to last July and NOT get back together with you. We might have forged a great friendship instead. But now...now, there is nothing left but an ash heap.

[Nevermind]

We might have forged a great friendship instead.

 

Are you sure about that? It's what I tried...to keep contact, to lessen my hurt and to get something good out of it. Yet...it went all down in flames.

 

If somebody shows you this much disrespect...how can they be your friends? If they act selfish and cold towards others...how can they ever really care about you as a friend?

 

Friendship is another form of love, and your ex has shown that he has severe problems feeling it.

 

I am not saying that to hurt you. I just know how painful this idea is, and how much it makes you question yourself. I wondered if we could have been friends if I had never found out...and the answer is no.

 

((hugs))

[sunshinegirl]

Are you sure about that? It's what I tried...to keep contact, to lessen my hurt and to get something good out of it. Yet...it went all down in flames.

 

If somebody shows you this much disrespect...how can they be your friends? If they act selfish and cold towards others...how can they ever really care about you as a friend?

 

Friendship is another form of love, and your ex has shown that he has severe problems feeling it.

 

I am not saying that to hurt you. I just know how painful this idea is, and how much it makes you question yourself. I wondered if we could have been friends if I had never found out...and the answer is no.

 

((hugs))

 

If I could roll the clock back before we got back together? Yes, I think some kind of friendship would have been possible. Not a deep one (after all, our relationship never went deep), but an activities-based one where the big group of friends we used to hang with could go camping, skiing, climbing, etc and we could have enjoyed each other's company. PLUS, my heart would not have been entangled, and he wouldn't have been able to hurt me with his non-empathetic way of being with people.

 

But maybe I am fooling myself, because by then he had already broken up with me in a bomb-dropping unexpected manner once. I am so mad at myself for going back for more.

 

Thank you for giving me more to think about. None of my friends wanted to (indepenent of me) be his friend - none of them found anything about him especially appealing or interesting. They saw his aloofness and maybe sensed the coldness/selfishness where I was totally blind to it.

 

I wish I didn't still feel so confused. Luminous = not me today.

[FloraPost]

Go. Away. Just go. Get back on a plane and go where you came from. Someone there probably will take you in. No one here would miss you. Just Go. Away. Be gone.

[BlindleadingtheBlind]

I am freaked out every time I leave the house that I might run into you. I am also hopeful every time I leave the house that I might run into you. I still think about you all the time and wish I didn't. I feel so lucky to have saved my marriage, and wish what happened between us had never happened.

 

I wish I could rewind the clock and be smarter about what was going on between us. I wish we could still hang out and actually be the friends we thought we were to one another. I wish I wasn't so lame as to still be thinking about you nine months later, when I'm sure you're not thinking about me in the same way.

 

I simply hope and pray that we don't run into each other. This is a small town. And exactly one year ago is when this whole thing started between us. I can get through the summer, but I just need to not run into you.

[motive2002]

Your daughter is turning three. Say happy birthday to the little princess for me. I miss her.

 

I miss you too.

[iain]

I am reading into everything you said to me over the past week. Those precious few words since our breakup are all I have left. The harder I look the more I *see* and the more questions I have. But I know any question I ask will lead to 5 more until I'm sucked into my own hell of self-doubt and low self-esteem. That's one of the things that hurts me the most, without you I feel half a man, I don't have the strength of will to look others in the eye, I feel weak, I don't believe in myself. How can I? I lost you, everything for the past 5 years. I hate this person I'm becoming, feeling sorry for myself, putting myself down but I don't know how to get through it, I keep looking for your hand but it's not there this time to guide me through. I guess I'm going to wander lost for a while until I make my own way out. Rationally thinking I should hate you for putting me through this, but I don't harbor any, I love you, always and I pray you come rescue me.

[kizik]

Hey ex girlfriend of mine,

 

let's talk about sex for a moment. Then we'll talk about pregnancy. OK. You used to wanna get down - you even called me over one night b/c you said you were starting your period the next day. We used to have sex so frequently that I stopped masturbating altogether. Didn't feel the need.

 

But later in our R, you refused my initiations and were "tired" and all those dumb cliches. Made me feel like a beggar, pathetic, unattractive. You made me sexually frustrated and I resented you for it and treated you unenthusiastically.

Hey, remember how you told me you thought you were pregnant b/c you "might have missed a pill, I don't know, I can't remember"? And so I was freaked for a week or two until your EPT showed negative, twice.

 

And when we talked about you being pregnant, I said that whatever you decided was OK, I would help you raise a child because I love you and would do anything for you. Do you remember that. Do you remember how I didn't freak. How I stayed. How I would have stayed with you through anything.

 

And we went to the bar and you didn't have a beer because you didn't want to potentially harm the fetus that might have been growing within you.

 

And when you came out of the bathroom that morning (7 AM, when pee is freshest!), you whispered, "Not pregnant." And I released the breath I'd been holding while you were in there. And I played it so cool, and said, "I knew you weren't."

 

Well, xxxxxx, I wish you had been. Know why? If you'd been pregnant, we'd still be together. You'd have HAD to work on yourself in this goddamn relationship. For the sake of our child. We could have been great.

 

But you were not pregnant. And all of that worry and energy, everything I said in support of you if you WERE, didn't matter. Aren't you glad you aren't pregnant, sweetie? Do you like how I call you that? Honey? Baby?

 

Do you remember how you called me "Honey" one last time when I started to cry, when we were hugging in the park that Sunday when we broke up?

 

Well, sweetie, hope you read this someday.

 

Love ya!

[LikeCharlotte]

Well, sweetie, hope you read this someday.

 

Love ya!

Wow, I'm glad I am not your ex. Ouch! Oh, and that sweetie, honey, baby stuff would have really made me vomit. Yuck! Hairy arms? How's the burn fest going? hahahaha:)

[PhoenixFromTheFlames]

I wish it was me you chose.