Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[sadlittlebee]

I'm sorry what happened with B. She completely humiliated me and made me look bad. I went out last night. I thought it would help dancing with other boys and having fun, but it just made it worse. They're not you. I don't want to be with them. I want to be with you. I had you blocked on Facebook.. but my STUPID friend showed me what was on there. I'm seriously so mad that she did that. You know how much I hate all my "friends". That's why I never did anything unless it was with you. I hate going out. I hate talking to other people. I'm completely miserable. And now because of B, I look like the bad guy now. It sucks knowing you're completely happy, and probably hate me now. I can't stand anyone hating me. I don't even want complete strangers that I'll never see again to hate me. Because I really try to be a good person.. I vow right now that I'm never talking to anyone or going out again. And now I'm posting messages to myself on a stupid forum thing like a loser. I need to pull it together and stop being stupid. Stupid was always your thing, I was the smart one. I'm an idiot. No wonder you left me. You probably looked into the future and saw me like this. Now I'm rambling. Now I'm crying. Now I'm wanting to kill myself.

[sadlittlebee]

I love you..

[leannesagoodman]

Jade,

 

I wanted to put 'my beautiful Jade' but then I suppose I can't anymore, seeing as you aren't mine. I wish you were. I wish you were mine again more than anything, but it's my fault you aren't. If I had closed this distance earlier then you still would be, but I couldn't, I didn't, and now you're gone, probably for good.

I miss you. I miss you more than I ever thought it possible to miss a person. I never knew that love like ours could have existed. It was so powerful, so strong, and I loved it. I loved our love. And now, even though it isn't our love anymore, I still love you. I love everything about you. You're still perfect. You're still my Bernadette, even if you don't belong to me anymore.

I have a plan to see you again, if I can get through, but every day hurts. I fall asleep every night thinking of you and wake up realising that my dreams about you aren't true, and that you really are gone. In the day I miss texting you all the time, calling you whenever we both weren't busy, and going on skype when we were free. Time's empty now. There's no reason for anything other than getting you back. I sit and wonder sometimes - is this how normal people live, with no motive, no real point to aim for?

Even though you're not mine, I'm still living for you, and I'm living to see you again and see if when I'm there you'll fall for me again how you did two weeks ago. I know things are different when we're apart and that you want someone who's always there, but believe me, sometime I will be. If you asked me to come and live with you right now I would, no questions. I'd drop everything to be with you forever, how I should have done before. I hope there is still that chance.

And even if I don't make it, then please know how much I love you, and how I always will. I meant it when I said it. I know you did too, at the time. Maybe if we could be together forever right now then you would still love me.

It sounds silly, but even after all this it still feels like we are soulmates. Reading through your letters today showed me that. Had we not had to endure so much last year because of the distance involved, we'd still be together. But we know so much about each other, and understand one another so well, and loved each other to a point that we didn't think was possible - that can't be for nothing. I know, and you did know, because otherwise you wouldn't have held my hand and held onto me two weeks back. We should be together even if we're not. That's not me being in denial because I know how relationships are. This one was just different.

I'll do anything to have you back. I'll learn to smile again, to find myself, to stop posting things like this for good (I've stopped, this is my one relapse), to be there all the time to tell you how special you are to me and how much I love you and to make you feel it every day. Anything at all. You won't name it anymore, but I would and I will. If I'm here I know what I'm going to do.

I just hope that someday I'm allowed to love you again, and to make you feel as loved as you are. You deserve that and to be happy because of it. I'll always wish for our future where I can make you happy every day just by being there, the way I used to before this ended.

I hope you read my letter and know how sorry I am for not being with you already. One day I want to be the someone that you need there, and that day I'll be there always. I'm always here for you anyway; one day I'll be there forever.

I love you darling. I always will, more than anything else in the world.

 

xxxxxx

 

 

PS 6 misses you too. We both miss creeping.

[CopingGal]

I thought about being with you again. But again, it's not you, it's the man you pretended to be.

 

I hate what you did to me. I hate the fact that you thought it was perfectly find to rip my heart out and make me physically sick. I hate the fact that you are a monster, but most people see you as good looking and charming. The couple's counselor told me you didn't fool her and she had you pegged from the beginning. She said she believed NOTHING you told her.

 

You're a worthless bastard and I feel soo sorry for your child to have you as his role model. I hope he can afford a lifetime of therapy sessions when he grows up.

[lovelylashes]

so i finally accepted our relationship was over. Told myself i was too good for you an that i deserve better. I was prepared to keep up with NC. Then you text me some random message an heart started thumping and before i knew it i was thinking about you all over again. But this time i realise its all a game and im not falling for it. I will not text you anymore as im tired of being rejected by you. im tired of the games you play. So the hold that you had over me is wearing thin.

[Dragonsden]

Dearest S,

 

Meow!

[padparadscha]

How could you have been married? Why did you lie? You knew how I felt about you why did you lead me on? Why were you looking for other American women? Why if you were married were you searching for other women? Our breakup you claimed was over our religious differences. You told me that was the reason. I broke up with you. I changed my number. Yet I did it out of fear and quick feelings of helplessness. You should have known me well enough to understand that I was scared of how you were treating me but did not really want to go. I only wanted you to fix things. Why did you cease talking to me and responding to my phone calls and emails? How did you go from acting like you loved me to REJECTING ME as if I harmed and offended you? The way you never allowed me to have closure hurts like hell. This is so silly. All these new painful feelings are creeping up, again. I clearly meant nothing to you and you were being deceitful all along using religion as a cover. So why am wasting my new tears on old vicious wounds?

 

I don’t want a relationship with a man who plays games with God. I don’t want a relationship with a man who can be so deceitful. So why cant these new tears stop falling and this old pain stop creeping up? I now see all the past red flags and I know for a fact you were seeing other women or at least keeping your options open even though I had access to your apartment. You crept probably on the days you said you were at church. I know now that those were signs from how you looked at me like you did not like me. You said you loved me but your eyes were cold and hateful at times. I remember, but brushed it off because you would kiss me or make me laugh. I remember the day you gave me the expensive earrings for my birthday how you looked as if you wanted to throw them in my face. But I brushed the look off because the gift was the very first you had given me in over a year. It was also the most expensive thing you ever bought me. Yet 2 weeks later you broke up with me. So with all this knowledge why am I crying over you? Am I an idiot?

[Tiera D]

theres so much i have to tell u,how much i love u i cared u,i believed in u im sorry sometimes i have to lie to protect u.u lied to me y do u wana string me,u kno ur mum will never accept me u kno we can never be together y wont u give me closure why!Why!why! i am going LC now and unless u interested me recon pls i beg u do not come near me and get lost i dont care abt ur reasons just leave me alone!

[sadlittlebee]

this is dumb. i wasted so much time on you. that dumb quote where it's like "don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened" is the dumbest thing i've ever heard and i want to seriously injure whoever came up with that ****. like no. no. i'm gonna punch my wall because it's over, and cry because it happened. next time i want to get into a relationship with a complete pig, i'll make sure he's semi attractive and i can kiss him without the need to brush my teeth 5 times after because your horrible stench transfers over to into my mouth. ew. i wish you didn't live so freaking far away so you could randomly bump into you in a grocery store so you can see what you're missing. like really. i hate you. okay, i take that back. i love you. but i dont ****ing understand. i need to stop cyber stalking all your friends too. because ever though you're blocked, i know you're out having the time of your life and this isnt even phasing you, and i'm sitting in my bed watching forgetting sarah marshall and lord of the rings every single day of my life. i leave for florida in a week, and you better not be on my mind and ruin it. i need a ****ing vactation. and i want to shave your new girlfriends head. bye.

[sadlittlebee]

And i want that ****ing picture that you stole against my will back. That had sentimental value *******.

[CopingGal]

I know , that's the sucky thing , that we miss who we thought they were. You have such a good heart and you will find someone who will love you the way you deserve . It angers me that someone like you got so hurt by some fcked up twit. x

 

Thank you very, very much. I'm so glad I found this place. It angers me that you got so incredible hurt too.

[CopingGal]

this is dumb. i wasted so much time on you. that dumb quote where it's like "don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened" is the dumbest thing i've ever heard and i want to seriously injure whoever came up with that ****. like no. no. i'm gonna punch my wall because it's over, and cry because it happened. next time i want to get into a relationship with a complete pig, i'll make sure he's semi attractive and i can kiss him without the need to brush my teeth 5 times after because your horrible stench transfers over to into my mouth. ew. i wish you didn't live so freaking far away so you could randomly bump into you in a grocery store so you can see what you're missing. like really. i hate you. okay, i take that back. i love you. but i dont ****ing understand. i need to stop cyber stalking all your friends too. because ever though you're blocked, i know you're out having the time of your life and this isnt even phasing you, and i'm sitting in my bed watching forgetting sarah marshall and lord of the rings every single day of my life. i leave for florida in a week, and you better not be on my mind and ruin it. i need a ****ing vactation. and i want to shave your new girlfriends head. bye.

 

Hi Hun. So, so sorry you are hurting. It's gonna be okay. It's just gonna take time and I know that sucks. My roommate told me "give time, time." I have to work on that too.

[padparadscha]

How could you betray my trust? I am so lost and so confused. Years of my life with you. Years of you calling me four and five times a day. Years of you telling me you never in your life felt love like mine. You told me you never been so blessed. How can you tell me that I was your greatest joy and meanwhile hide the fact that your wife and family lived in another country? How could you give me keys to your apartment and tell me you want to marry me when you were married? Why go on the internet and cheat on me and your wife and look for more women. What the FU***??? Are you serious? Really? Honestly? Is all this reality? Was all that I did to help you get through school so invane that you chose to decieve me and crush me like a bug. NO CONTACT after I find out the truth? Honestly? Really? NC to treat me as if I am the dirt and the liar that you proved to be?

[ThatDudeXO]

I know you're stressed...you may hate me but it's a shame we don't even talk no more. We were so close now we are so far away, we had such a connection...I miss that.

 

I knew I could have been a much better boyfriend, I did take you for granted and didn't do enough nice things for you but I guess I got lazy because I didn't want to distract you from your studies because I know it's hard.

 

I really miss you. I really love you and I wish I could have another chance at being your boyfriend because I know I would be so much better.

[CopingGal]

How could you betray my trust? I am so lost and so confused. Years of my life with you. Years of you calling me four and five times a day. Years of you telling me you never in your life felt love like mine. You told me you never been so blessed. How can you tell me that I was your greatest joy and meanwhile hide the fact that your wife and family lived in another country? How could you give me keys to your apartment and tell me you want to marry me when you were married? Why go on the internet and cheat on me and your wife and look for more women. What the FU***??? Are you serious? Really? Honestly? Is all this reality? Was all that I did to help you get through school so invane that you chose to decieve me and crush me like a bug. NO CONTACT after I find out the truth? Honestly? Really? NC to treat me as if I am the dirt and the liar that you proved to be?

 

I purposefully did not sign in because I wanted to read just a few postings and then get back to doing schoolwork. But...geez...OMG, I had to respond to this. This is terrible. I'm so incredibly sorry that someone would do this to you. I too dated someone who had a double life. My dad had a double life as well. It is just disgusting how incredibly selfish and greedy some people are.

 

I have done a lot of stuff on the internet...lots of charity work. I love the internet...but...it just makes it sooo much easier for people to cheat. I would love to meet someone who is not computer literate...sure, people cheated before the internet...but the internet just makes it so much easier. Anyway, so, so sorry this happened to you. You are not alone. Even my therapist had a terrible, terrible boyfriend.

[padparadscha]

I would love to meet someone who is not computer literate...

Hello CopingGal. The incredible part is there are people I have talked to online who have proven to be remarkable that I never met. Just wonderful friends. Internet friend. The truth is it is within you to have honor. Wether you are on the internet or in a remote part of the world your aura follows you where ever you go. You are still you. I went to Amsterdam three times. I was surrounded by people doing drugs and magic mushrooms. I felt the pull of temptation but never did it. Instead I enjoyed the other aspects of Amsterdam such as wine and cheese, the shows, the culture, the markets, etc. I did go to that world famous strip club, but again there is a naughty side of me. I went with a group of people. I would not ever hire a male prostitute, but I did go to the club. My point is that the internet can not change who you are. If loyalty, honor and truthfulness is apart of your persona, then you will grapple with your subconscious if you mess up and do something you know is wrong. Don't ever think that its the device. I met you by internet. This amazing site is on the internet. Its not the technology it is the weakness and immoral ways of another.

 

He did all this because he did not like Americans. He pretended and I never saw that damn redflags. If he claimed to be a devout 7th day Adventist he should have never talked about other cultures but he did. Even talked about other Africans not from Ghana. I thought he was pure of heart. It just kills me that he is HIDING. He is such a coward and will not respond to my messages not because he is guilty. But because he knows I did everything I could to help him with college and get him out of dept without paying his bills. He knows I was in love with him and he is hiding because I saw him as good. I just cant stop crying and its almost a month now. This part is the killer. I feel like there is something wrong with me when he is just a danger. It's futile to view him with love any more. It's time to forget and walk away. He was selfish and very, very low. He deceived me well. Yet my fault lies in the fact that we were so close now we are so far away. we had a connection I thought and I miss that incredible companionship. For this reason I am an idiot at this point.

[coltsfan1]

what the heck.... Bet I was a ball!!

[IfiKnewThen]

its way too painful to look back. i want to leave the pain behind. i've done so well for all this time.

[lovelylashes]

i am actually starting to hate you. All the mind games are making me see you for the weirdo that you are. Ive wasted far to much time on you i wont waste anymore. Ive wasted to many tears on your an ive finally realised your not worth getting upset over. I find it hard to understand how any sane person can act the way you have. But your not sane are you. I have nothing to feel bad about as you contacted me this time. I know i deserve better than you. I feel sorry for any girl that ends up with you.

[padparadscha]

Your so lucky that I believe in Karma. You see I know I am a good person and I don't deserve the way you treated me. I know if you had died I would be mourning your loss but knowing in my heart that I gave you all I could and have no regrets. Karma rules me because it keeps me from calling immigration on your dirty ass. It keeps me from making that phone call that I am sure would devastate you and your apartment guest. You dated someone who not malicious. You chose well. Had I been anyone else your life would turned upside down with one phone call. You were the most awful, cruelest liar I ever met in my life. How dishonest can one man be? I never known such hatrid in all my life. I will not call immigration. You live with your demons and keep watching your back. Im gone! I may be in pain. I may still be hurting. I may truly wish we had that fantasy you lead me to believe in back. But I am gone. I can never see you as decent man who is a 7th day Adventist again. I will always see you as a low life FRAUD. Dirty inside and out. No, immigration need not hear this from me. Live your life and I will know as I sit here in pain and cry my tears, you live with a torchured soul no matter who your with. You will never be at peace because you do not have it in you to be good.

[CopingGal]

Hello CopingGal. The incredible part is there are people I have talked to online who have proven to be remarkable that I never met. Just wonderful friends. Internet friend. The truth is it is within you to have honor. Wether you are on the internet or in a remote part of the world your aura follows you where ever you go. You are still you. I went to Amsterdam three times. I was surrounded by people doing drugs and magic mushrooms. I felt the pull of temptation but never did it. Instead I enjoyed the other aspects of Amsterdam such as wine and cheese, the shows, the culture, the markets, etc. I did go to that world famous strip club, but again there is a naughty side of me. I went with a group of people. I would not ever hire a male prostitute, but I did go to the club. My point is that the internet can not change who you are. If loyalty, honor and truthfulness is apart of your persona, then you will grapple with your subconscious if you mess up and do something you know is wrong. Don't ever think that its the device. I met you by internet. This amazing site is on the internet. Its not the technology it is the weakness and immoral ways of another.

 

He did all this because he did not like Americans. He pretended and I never saw that damn redflags. If he claimed to be a devout 7th day Adventist he should have never talked about other cultures but he did. Even talked about other Africans not from Ghana. I thought he was pure of heart. It just kills me that he is HIDING. He is such a coward and will not respond to my messages not because he is guilty. But because he knows I did everything I could to help him with college and get him out of dept without paying his bills. He knows I was in love with him and he is hiding because I saw him as good. I just cant stop crying and its almost a month now. This part is the killer. I feel like there is something wrong with me when he is just a danger. It's futile to view him with love any more. It's time to forget and walk away. He was selfish and very, very low. He deceived me well. Yet my fault lies in the fact that we were so close now we are so far away. we had a connection I thought and I miss that incredible companionship. For this reason I am an idiot at this point.

 

No, no, no. You are not an idiot. Don't put yourself down like that. Be proud that you have a pure heart...a heart that trusted him...a heart that loved him.

 

I still maintain that the internet makes it much easier for people to cheat...and of course, hide. But I also agree with you that that type of behavior was in them any way...and yes, the internet can be a very nice way to connect with people. I agree:).

 

We are not stupid, but we are going to have to get smarter. We need to analyze relationships better and if we keep getting nagging negative feelings, not to dismiss this feelings and pay attention to them. All this stuff that happened with this man and you is fairly new. It's going to take a long time to get over this, so be patient with yourself.

 

This book teaches you how to spot a loser within 3 dates: "Red Flags: How to Know When You are Dating a Loser" by Aumiller and Goldfarb.

 

Take care of you.

[CopingGal]

I am glad you are out of my life. You are not good for me. You are not good for anyone. You are not even good for yourself.

[Bradly]

I told you I was fine today after you sensed something is wrong. Well there's a lot wrong!! My therapist is not happy about you leaving me and the kids. Thought you might like to know that. Since your therapist thought it was great idea to get away and find yourself. You promised to call every night and say good night to the boys and or Skye more often. Now the calls are getting farther and farther apart. About 4 days now... I guess you just didn't want to be a mother anymore because you sure didn't want to be a wife.

Edited February 20, 2012 by Bradly

[TaintedHeart]

Thinking of you is annoying me. Good luck with finding someone that will put up with your weird ways.

 

You're 27 next month aren't you? And you're still living at home.

 

Well done.

[Bradly]

You don't deserve my love anymore!