Almond_Joy Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 I'm so mad at myself for thinking of you again. I'd gone months without caring about the past, focusing on my present. And today I find myself obsessing over what you're doing. Happily living your life, because you moved the f&*% on which is what I should have done months ago, and I thought I did. I don't even miss you as an individual. I can see now that you're selfish and immature, and I know I don't want to put up with that. Despite these things, I was able to open up to you. All my fears, my hopes, my happiness, my anger....I shared all of that with you, and you accepted it. You even treasured me, in my entirety, for a while. That's what I can't forget. That's what I want back. And that's what I'm scared to give again. Because I don't want to trust without reserve and be dissapointed like that again. I've got too many other things I want to do with my life to have to spend another year, year and a half, 2 years, nursing myself back to normal. I'd only be more angry and frustrated with myself that the time was wasted. Love's a b^&$#. Link to post Share on other sites
polish26 Posted May 17, 2012 Share Posted May 17, 2012 I hate the fact that you find the need to be friends with our neighbor and bring our dog around, where you know I will see him... I hate that you laugh and enjoy yourself, while having to see me keeping myself busy. While I do not miss you, I miss my feeling of constant happiness. Having to sit behind your new object of enjoyment, your new "man" so to speak, everyday at work. I got you a job because you were lazy in your endeavors, and I hated coming home to a person who I thought was useless, I never thought you would throw it in my face so much, and relish in the pain you cause someone you apparently cared about for so long. I don't want you back, you made me a walking disease, a disease that I know that I will not spread willingly. I can't enjoy being single because of what you did, and what you constantly live in denial with. I've tried to tell you, and I've tried to warn you of what you carry, but you are selfish and do not care about anyone but yourself. I can't believe I put my trust in you, just to have it crushed. I just hope that the next person realizes this before it is too late for them as well. While I may not die from what you gave me, it sure as hell as destroyed the person I was within. I haven't been sick in over 60 days since you left, that is a sign in itself that you are toxic, and whomever you touch may find this out soon. Wake up, and see yourself for who you are, be honest to the next person, don't put them through my pain, maybe then you can be forgiven. I don't wish you pain, sadness, or death... I just wish you would wake up and realize what you are... Link to post Share on other sites
DuchessKaye Posted May 17, 2012 Share Posted May 17, 2012 Well, all I can say is thankyou for being the one to show me what kind of guy I don't want to be with. And I heard your new girlfriend doesn't have wit. She will never get your humor like I did! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
polish26 Posted May 18, 2012 Share Posted May 18, 2012 I don't know why I started to think about you, I don't know why I started to think about us. This is what I do know though, you aren't worth my time, you have never once tried to admit to your 50% of why our relationship failed while trying to place all the blame on me! All I was trying to do was make a future for us possible! I understand that my 50% of the failed relationship was a lack of communication, and that you tried to speak with me, but I was not happy, I was trapped! You invited your parents to stay for two months, but told me their intention was to travel, which was not true, they were simply here to bring you your furniture, for your new place... Why lie to me about that, why put me through that stress, just so you could be happy and I could start to lose my mind. I gave up so much for you, my time, my money, even some friends in the end, but in all honesty what did you give up for me? Please TELL ME, what is so good about you? Because honestly, I don't see anything good about you anymore, I try to, but that's because I give everyone the benefit of the doubt... I don't see why anyone has given you the benefit of the doubt, I should have seen the red flags from the very beginning, but I was blind because I liked you, and I grew to love you... I am HAPPIER without you, but loneliness still creeps in from time to time, and wish I didn't think about you, but I do... Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted May 18, 2012 Share Posted May 18, 2012 I hate the fact that you find the need to be friends with our neighbor and bring our dog around, where you know I will see him... I hate that you laugh and enjoy yourself, while having to see me keeping myself busy. While I do not miss you, I miss my feeling of constant happiness. Having to sit behind your new object of enjoyment, your new "man" so to speak, everyday at work. I got you a job because you were lazy in your endeavors, and I hated coming home to a person who I thought was useless, I never thought you would throw it in my face so much, and relish in the pain you cause someone you apparently cared about for so long. I don't want you back, you made me a walking disease, a disease that I know that I will not spread willingly. I can't enjoy being single because of what you did, and what you constantly live in denial with. I've tried to tell you, and I've tried to warn you of what you carry, but you are selfish and do not care about anyone but yourself. I can't believe I put my trust in you, just to have it crushed. I just hope that the next person realizes this before it is too late for them as well. While I may not die from what you gave me, it sure as hell as destroyed the person I was within. I haven't been sick in over 60 days since you left, that is a sign in itself that you are toxic, and whomever you touch may find this out soon. Wake up, and see yourself for who you are, be honest to the next person, don't put them through my pain, maybe then you can be forgiven. I don't wish you pain, sadness, or death... I just wish you would wake up and realize what you are... Wow. I'm so sorry. This person sounds like a walking disaster. You are so much better off without her. Link to post Share on other sites
marsha80 Posted May 18, 2012 Share Posted May 18, 2012 My current feelings are: wow, that's it? the feeling only lasted 2wks? This is pretty awesome, but confusing. May be oxytocin related, because I have no logical justification for what I was feeling, because I'd never want to be back with you EVER. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
lovinglife21 Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 You have no soul. I went through hell and all you thought about was how best to protect yourself from caring. You sicken me, I don't know when I fell out of love with you, but I sure as hell have now. It's ok because I know one day you will look back on this and feel nothing but guilt and shame, and that will always be my revenge. Link to post Share on other sites
DuchessKaye Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 What you did was just OK. Because I've been cheating on you for months Link to post Share on other sites
DuchessKaye Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 And oh my f-cking goodness! You must have been reading my mind – I've wanted out of this crappy relationship with you for weeks now!!! Good Luck in finding someone better than me! She better be HOT! Link to post Share on other sites
jennisfora Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 nothing on mother's day shows me how little you care. guess you must be done with your training now. i wont be holding my breath for a call to catch up. i think you wanted the last word, that was your closure. i will be surprised if i hear from you. although, from our phone convo, albeit brief, i could tell you miss me still. not sure what is holding you back except that you feel unworthy, and you seemed overly interested in whether i got the job or not, i didnt, maybe you are a male gold digger? i have no money, therefore you have no interest? i have never dated someone for their pocketbook, so perhaps this is something i cant understand. i thought you were a better man, i have come to realize that you are a coward. you are afraid of upsetting your family. your love for me was always limited. it seemed so real, i loved you so much. i am so angry right now that i mean so little to you. you built castles in teh air with me, and my boy. i wish you hadnt. i have to mourn the man i thought you were, and am saddened he wasn't real. you have given plenty of examples of decisions made on impulse or fear, i still think the breakup was just one of these. maybe you dont want to seem wishy washy to your mom and your sister? you care too much about what other people think. i care far too much about what you think. i do still miss what we had, but i dont know if i ever truly had it. *hugs & kisses* Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 You have no soul. I went through hell and all you thought about was how best to protect yourself from caring. You sicken me, I don't know when I fell out of love with you, but I sure as hell have now. It's ok because I know one day you will look back on this and feel nothing but guilt and shame, and that will always be my revenge. If your ex can feel those things, you are lucky. My ex is not capable of feeling guilt and shame. For me there is no revenge except karma...which I really don't believe in. But my ex is a very, very sick man now. I feel like he has gotten exactly what he deserved. This probably would have happened if he was a good person too. But I'm glad that he is very sick because he is such a twisted and deceptive person. Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 Hurray for me! It's been over 7 weeks since I emailed you when I saw your ridiculous remarks on Facebook. I'm so glad I've kept NC going regardless of what you wrote. I'm so glad that I am trying to heal and not hop from partner to partner like you do. I'm so glad that I am not you. Women want to be with you because your are charming and good looking. They have NO idea of the monster that lives within you. But I do, so I stay away from you. It's not my desire to be with a lying monster who is a complete failure. Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 Obviously you felt our relationship deteriorated to the point in which you felt that you had to look for other women. Why did it deteriorate? Because I couldn't trust you. Why couldn't I trust you? Because you couldn't stop lying. I never met anyone that lies like you before. You go from woman to woman searching for someone who would put up with all that nonsense, instead of staying out of relationships and working on yourself so that you can at least come up to the level of human being. It must be terrible to be you...always hiding behind lies...always disappointing people...always using people...never getting what you want until you manipulate people. You poor bastard...You poor, poor bastard. Link to post Share on other sites
Moonchie Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 I hope that one day you realize that having a lack of conscience is a bad thing and not something that should be celebrated. I hope one day you come to understand that cheating is something bad and not something you should pat yourself on the back about. I hope one day you understand that throwing another women in the face of the woman you hurt is a terrible thing to do and not something that is funny. You thought my pain was funny. You thought, for some reason, that I deserved all the bad things you did to me. You thought it was acceptable to treat me so badly that my heart was ripped to shreds. And lets not forget that you told the world you wouldn't change a thing. You are a failure as a father. You are a failure as a boyfriend. You are a failure as an employee. You are a failure as a fiance. You are a failure as a husband. You are a failure as a son. You are a failure as an athlete. You have failed more than anyone I've ever known. You are just a complete and utter failure. Gosh...you poor bastard. You poor, poor bastard. Who is this arsehole? He sounds like a rotten enchilada. Link to post Share on other sites
DuchessKaye Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 If karma doesn't hit you, I will... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 You are full of toxic substances. There is nothing good in you. There is nothing clean in you. You are an insult to humanity. Your life is a joke. Your parenting skills are a joke. Your job is a joke. You are a joke. Your life is a series of meaningless events. You're a fool and a jackass. You're stupid and ridiculous. You fail at everything you try. You're a heartless bastard. You're a dull-eyed Neanderthal who does not belong in modern times. You haven't a clue as to how much soap it takes to wash your filthy, disgusting body. You're a clown, an idiot, a buffoon, and a slut. You deserve to be spat on and locked up away from society. You're a whiner, a user, and a 6 time loser. But most of all, you're a joke. You poor bastard...You poor, poor bastard. Link to post Share on other sites
Frank13 Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 I don't get it. I was so glad to get you out of my life 4.5 months ago. Not because I didn't care about you, but because you didn't care about me. I went full NC 4.5 months ago and never wanted to see you again. At first, all I remembered was the pain. It helped me to not want to see you ever again. I didn't want to go back to that pain and bad feelings. As time went on I began to miss you but just kept moving forward. What else could I do? You have no room for me in your life. Some days were good and others were bad. I worried about bumping into you knowing even a quick glance at you from a distance would make my heart flutter and set me back. Then after 3.5 months of NC I ran into you, work related. Although we both ignored each other and would not even look at each other, I was surprised that I didn't feel anything (although I didn't look into your big puppy dog eyes, which might have caused me to melt). I can count on one hand the number of words you said and on two hands the number of words I said, all work related. I do not consider this breaking NC in any way. When we were done, I walked away. I had no urge or desire to talk to you. I did not listen for, or hope for, you to call me back to talk. It felt as if I just gave the time to a stranger on the street who asked for it. It felt like you were someone else and I could now go back to missing some other person. I thought it would hit me later, but it didn't. In fact, it felt like I had turned a corner. Like you had been removed from the pedestal. I felt great for about a week or so. Then I started missing you really bad. I have had urges to break NC but I don't because I know it doesn't matter. There is no solution. No fix. You have no time or place for me in your life. I never meant much to you. I get that and it is okay. So why the hell after 4.5 months am I missing you like crazy? Link to post Share on other sites
DuchessKaye Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 OK, see yah later - NEVER! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Frank13 Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 OK, see yah later - NEVER! But then how will you hit him? Lol. Link to post Share on other sites
DuchessKaye Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 But then how will you hit him? Lol. Haha! I just... I just karate chopped his balls off. So, I'm done! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
jennisfora Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 still missing you. not surprised i didnt hear from you, but, ill admit to being disappointed. no matter how much i told myself you would flake out about contacting to catch up, deep down, i wanted to believe. i wanted to believe you still want us, despite the mountain of evidence to the contrary. every day that passes by is just another reminder of how little you care for me. no happy mothers day, and now your training is over, you didnt contact me at all. i can be in denial and say you are ultra busy, but i know the truth. you are never too busy if you care about someone. i wish i didnt care about you, i wish i didnt miss you. i hope my feelings go away. it is a horrible knawing pain, knowing i love you so much, and knowing that you can let days and days go by. i can barely handle it. i wonder how you can not miss me? was it all fake? did you ever care? will i ever be over it? i am tired of having feelings and nothing i can do to express them or get rid of them. i just wish we could get back together or that i could get over it. i hate being in this one way thing where i am the only one that gives a crap. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 Hey Bastard, What's up? Hope your life is still miserable. Take care Bastard, -S 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MadSworthy Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 You will always be my sweetest memory... Link to post Share on other sites
DuchessKaye Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 That's OK – It only takes one bad boyfriend to make me realise that I deserve SOOOOO much more! You're such a lying idiot! You used girls and their money! Link to post Share on other sites
DuchessKaye Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 I'm pretty sure my guy friend loves me more then you've ever loved me! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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