coltsfan1 Posted May 24, 2012 Share Posted May 24, 2012 Tae htis uyo selsgtu cfiknug rhowe... I had to say it, I would scream it at times like this. Strange how a person can go weeks or months even not thinking about something THEN the smallest thing can light a fire. Some days I wish you where a man, then we could have had it out. But he the bigger picture is clear now so you won't hear me complain. Link to post Share on other sites
MadSworthy Posted May 24, 2012 Share Posted May 24, 2012 You are my life and my everything... I know I am the man for you... Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted May 24, 2012 Share Posted May 24, 2012 One day I will put your behind me and I will feel better. Today is not that day...but one day, you will be nothing but a faint memory. And while you're still hoping from bed to bed and from one silly disfunctional relationship to another, I will be in a good, relationship with an honest, decent man. You'll be homeless again because you can' handle your bills, and I will have a nice home. You are destined to be a sandwich maker. Do yourself a favor and stick with that job. You can't handle any other job. You poor bastard...you poor, poor bastard. Link to post Share on other sites
kindest Posted May 24, 2012 Share Posted May 24, 2012 The day you will want me back in your life will be the day I don't want you anymore. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jdids247 Posted May 24, 2012 Share Posted May 24, 2012 The strangest thing happened yesterday. I checked my email and saw I had one from you. Thank God it was a spam mail otherwise I would have thrown my phone across the room. What the hell... I was doing so well too. I went about a month without any ill feelings and you're name was brought up about a coupe weeks ago and it killed me. A friend of mine was saying how you were visiting your parents and he saw it on Facebook. I went and saw out Godson last weekend and it was hard and great at the same time. Your parents knew I was in town and came over and drank with us for over 3 hours. They see what you threw away and they don't understand either. Your friends back home don't even know you are anymore, and frankly I don't either. You're pushing away the people who love you and you love, for what....fun? What are you going to do when the fun runs out and you're doing the same thing over again expecting a different result? It sill feels like yesterday when I told you to move out. We talked days earlier how we were going to turn a new leaf and make everything right and actually try. Then you didn't come home (again) and I flipped. I didn't care that you didn't come home, it was the fact you quit telling me you weren't coming home. I would wake in the middle of the night having panic attacks not knowing if you were OK and you knew I wanted you to tell me this...you always used to inform me. That one time you called at 4 in the morning on a work day and I told you not to call. I told you to text me instead. You always held that against me even after the numerous times we fought about it, you'd always turn it around on me. "You're acting like my dad"....then don't act like a teenager and I won't treat you like one! Maybe I overreacted, but I was sick and tired of being treated like I didn't matter. If you work with your friends and hang out with them 4-5 days out of the week, where does that leave time for us? It didn't and you were mad at me! You told me I was jealous you finally had friends after the move...that wasn't the case. I was happy you were finally getting happy, but I was livid that you didn't put me first when I was putting you first. It's like you were punishing me for something.....but since you can't talk about anything I'll never know what that was! Seriously, there was no winning with you unless it was about YOU. The most sincere thing you ever did for me was admitting you were selfish when we broke up. I'm glad you finally admitted that. Now if you'd only quit being in denial about everything you wouldn't be lying to yourself. I wish you could talk to me in a better way instead of telling me that my ideas are dumb and I'm "gay" because I have hobbies and interests instead of partying. Have you looked in the mirror? Has your way of life produced anything constructive? While you're living with your friends I bought a house. I was sick of living your pipe dreams and when they didn't happen, I was the one to blame. When you get sick of living with them, then where are you going to go, to the next set of friends? Have you ever thought out any of your actions? Seeing you update your Facebook statuses trying to convince everyone your life is great was pathetic. How can your life be great when you just got out of an engagement to your best friend? Are you delusional? When we talked afterwards and I apologized for my actions you broke down bawling and a month later did the same thing. That doesn't seem like a person whose life is great. It seems like a person who's living a life of regret. You said it yourself the night you didn't come home, your actions were not worth the result. These contradictions drive me crazy...you know what you're doing will be the wrong decision but you continue to do it? Why can't you learn....you're an adult now and should be acting like one. Then when we are done, you continue to text me, and I text you back and you tell me to stop because you don't want to cry anymore. I don't even think you know up from down anymore. I don't know why you're so confused. You knew what you wanted and as soon as a new group came in who had more fun than we did you flipped into someone else. I saw glimpses of the girl I loved but that was few and far between. Through all of this, I still deeply care about you. I know I could have put in more effort but it's pretty hard when we were working different schedules and you didn't give me the time of day...so I gave up. I hope we can be friends in the future because when we had fun, we had a blast. The only problem was is that when the fun stopped you turned into a selfish, whiny brat. I hope you figure yourself out. That's the only thing I pray for.....get better. Please get better. For yourself....not for me. You'll be a lot happier when you see what really matters in life. What we had mattered, not this phase you're going through. I hope you figure this out with your next partner. Every relationship goes through low points, unfortunately for us with new jobs, a miscarriage, and not finding a house you just couldn't handle the stress and had to run away to forget. And that's a shame because the next relationship will be the same, and then what...are you going to give up on that too? Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted May 24, 2012 Share Posted May 24, 2012 Tomorrow is my birthday. I am going to celebrate. My next bf will think that my birthday is important. I will not have to ask him to celebrate it. He will do it because he wants to...because he will be a good man. I don't know what it's like to be a low-life piece of scum like you are. I'm just glad I'm not you. I'm not going to be down. I'm going to celebrate. Goodbye Loser, -S Link to post Share on other sites
dsw31 Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 I'm missing you so much today. I wish we could watch the fight together this weekend. Link to post Share on other sites
xxSRMxx Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 Hi, you okay?? It really has become crazy hasnt it?? i rub u up the wrong way, i aggravate you, you shout, i cry, i threaten to smash your windows, I constantly accuse you of seeing someone else already. Truth is im just struggling with how you cant miss me as much as i miss you, but who knows, im sure when u are sat alone u miss me, u must. we had a great relationship. If i could turn back time i wouldve been a diff girlfriend, but youve heard that a million times so im sick of repeating myself. NC is tough, n ive broke it so many times, n got back into your bed but ive never been so serious about it this time, I need to free myself of you. I need to get some dignity back, I need to get over u, and most of all, I need to love myself and show u that letting me go was the biggest mistake of your life. maybe youll never think that, who knows. Hope u are okay. miss u, ever so much. It hurts that i was going to suprise u with the suprise trip next thursday, cancellin that hotel was soul destroying, believe me. Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 I went backwards when I went to your facebook page, but seeing how you are happy with the way you treated me is what really ripped up my wounds. I've been hurting even since I saw that...big time. It hurts more than I can say, but I should expect that from someone who is mentally ill. The pain you have inflicted on others is overwhelming to me. But I know no matter how much I am hurting, that I will come out of this okay while you will always be someone who acts sociopathic. I hope one day you get locked up because you belong behind bars. That way you can never hurt anyone ever again except for your prison mates. Link to post Share on other sites
DuchessKaye Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 CopingGal... I am following all your posts and I do understand your pain... I hope you'll be fully healed soon... You will be in my prayers, girl. Mwah! ♥ HUGS ♥ Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 I want to email you and curse you out and tell you what a horrible person you are. But tomorrow is my birthday. I have grown. I'm not going to do that. Firstly, because the grief and suffering you cause people either have no effect on your or makes you happy. Secondly because I have grown. I'm not going to waste my time trying to reason with a person who behaves in a sociopathic manner. I'll look to myself for calmness and comfort. If I could buy you a conscience I would...but you don't want one. You are happiest when you are inflicting pain on women, lying, and behaving like a slut. You are happiest when you are in the gutter of life. So stay there. Stay there you piece of filthy scum. Stay there. I hope you die in the gutter with just you, the stench, the dirt, and your own thoughts. Loser. F-you. Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 CopingGal... I am following all your posts and I do understand your pain... I hope you'll be fully healed soon... You will be in my prayers, girl. Mwah! ♥ HUGS ♥ Thanks. I'm still in the process of getting it all out. I know you have been hurt too. I'm sorry about that. Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 I want to email you and curse you out and tell you what a horrible person you are. But tomorrow is my birthday. I have grown. I'm not going to do that. Firstly, because the grief and suffering you cause people either have no effect on your or makes you happy. Secondly because I have grown. I'm not going to waste my time trying to reason with a person who behaves in a sociopathic manner. I'll look to myself for calmness and comfort. If I could buy you a conscience I would...but you don't want one. You are happiest when you are inflicting pain on women, lying, and behaving like a slut. You are happiest when you are in the gutter of life. So stay there. Stay there you piece of filthy scum. Stay there. I hope you die in the gutter with just you, the stench, the dirt, and your own thoughts. Loser. F-you. Gosh....I feel better! Link to post Share on other sites
Moonchie Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 I want to email you and curse you out and tell you what a horrible person you are. But tomorrow is my birthday. I have grown. I'm not going to do that. Firstly, because the grief and suffering you cause people either have no effect on your or makes you happy. Secondly because I have grown. I'm not going to waste my time trying to reason with a person who behaves in a sociopathic manner. I'll look to myself for calmness and comfort. If I could buy you a conscience I would...but you don't want one. You are happiest when you are inflicting pain on women, lying, and behaving like a slut. You are happiest when you are in the gutter of life. So stay there. Stay there you piece of filthy scum. Stay there. I hope you die in the gutter with just you, the stench, the dirt, and your own thoughts. Loser. F-you. Hee-hee-hee, F-you loser. Hee-hee :lmao::lmao::laugh::laugh::D:D:D Link to post Share on other sites
DuchessKaye Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 And also, Happy Birthday in advance, CG. I wish you all your favorite things in life. Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 And also, Happy Birthday in advance, CG. I wish you all your favorite things in life. Thank you my dear. Sigh....I really do feel better. It was a good release for me. Link to post Share on other sites
kindest Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 (edited) Happy birthday in advance, CopingGal. I really do hope you'll have good memories on your birthday. Speaking of birthday... To my ex: It's your birthday in two weeks. I want to wish you a happy birthday, not that I'm expecting you to respond or even acknowledge my greeting, but I sincerely want to send you good vibrations on your day. It's not a ploy to get you back or make you fall in love with me either. Just plain and simple, I do wish you have a happy birthday. I hope you have learned things from me. I hope getting older will teach you to act more consistently as an adult, who I wanted you to be. I hope you cut the habit of jumping ship, hurting people's feelings. You are human yourself, I'm sure you get hurt too. I hope you learn to practice compassion when dealing with people, and do your very best to not cause pain against another individual. I loved you, you know... and I still do. Everything that I ever did for you was all done out of love, especially when I let you go. I would like to believe that you loved me too, and I know I have made a mark in your heart, how could I not be there? I know who you are and that you are a good person, who may just have the tendency of losing his way from time to time. I hope you find yourself and in the process, be a better man, the man that I would be proud of even if we are bound to be out of each other's lives. Although it pained me so much, I am still glad that we ended things amicably. I will not forget that you were a part of my life, I hope you don't forget me too. Edited May 25, 2012 by kindest Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 Happy birthday in advance, CopingGal. I really do hope you'll have good memories on your birthday. Thank you, Thank you Link to post Share on other sites
DuchessKaye Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 Maybe I should start pretending like nothing ever happened between us, I mean, it apparently was so easy for you... </3 Link to post Share on other sites
DuchessKaye Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 Why is it just when you're moved on from someone/thing, they pop back up in your life? GRRRRRRRRR!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Tree_Salmon Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 Maybe I should start pretending like nothing ever happened between us, I mean, it apparently was so easy for you... </3 It's not. It always catches up with people. Link to post Share on other sites
jennisfora Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 i still miss you. i know we could have met up sunday if i hadnt freaked out. i dont know why but it made me so angry that you texted instead of actually calling. i guess it made me feel low priority, which i was since you didnt call when you got back. if i meant much to you, you would try harder, so it is just more evidence that you don't care. you promise you will call, but you made other promises that were never kept. i am not sure i can believe you anymore. i dont know what to think. im still hurt that you didnt bother wishing me happy mother's day. just being reminded constantly that i am unimportant to you. i think it is for the best we arent meeting. you will have to convince me it is a good idea, and actually put some effort in, because right now i feel i should have ignored your text asking for forgivenesss and kept the silence going. Link to post Share on other sites
kindest Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 Yeah I know you're asking someone out today, you just had to let me know, I know you wanted me to know. You blasted it like some sort of news bit on a public thread that you know I read, then made some comments trying to keep 'mum' about it (pretending is more like it. it's pathetic, anyway). Of course you wanted me to know. Yes, my friend also told me about you asking to be setup on a date with any of her single friends. Yes, I know you knew she would tell me, she's MY friend after all, her loyalty is with me. Yeah, I know you wanted me to know. Btw, I'm not angry with my friend even though she said she introduced you to someone. So, you want to date around. That's what you want me to know. I don't know why you had to let me know, though. Apparently, leaving me devastated wasn't enough for you. Of course I know you'd date eventually, but really... do you have to purposely make an announcement of it to my face? What is it you want me to feel? Jealousy? I will date someone else too, you know. At the moment, I know I'm not ready yet, but when I am ready, I won't have to let you know. When I meet someone special, I won't blurt it out purposely to let you know that I've replaced you. I won't do it to you because I'm a mature and decent person and although I, too, have an ego -- it's not as big as yours. You will grow up, eventually... and when you do, you will remember the way you handled things so immaturely. I hope the remorse you will feel won't eat you alive. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dsw31 Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 I miss you so much again tonight. I had my first dream about you since our breakup last night.I don't remember all of it but, I remember seeing a pink tornado in the sky .We held hands & ran away from it together. It felt really nice waking up & feeling like you were close to me this morning Link to post Share on other sites
raspberry.12 Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 I am missing him terribly. Everyday looking at my phone and always hoping he sends me a text, even though I know there will be no chance at all. It's been almost 2 months since the broke up and 3 weeks NC, time goes really slow these days. I always wonder if he misses me or even think of me like I do (he is a dumper). I still love him very much. Link to post Share on other sites
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