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Post here instead of contacting your ex!

polywog

By polywog,
in Coping

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no_more_tries

no_more_tries

Posted
Posted

Best friends for 20-odd years. A relationship for 2. Grieving two losses at once, and I'm not sure which is more painful. I woke up heavy-hearted, fighting my mind about how to feel today. The only thing I know to do is go walk. That's what I've done since the morning you left. When the emotions overwhelm me, I just take off and walk until I have nothing left. And now, after hearing from you, followed up by a text this morning, I have a lot to walk off. This is really difficult for me. And still, I'm trying to make it comfortable for you. It would be so much easier without the the history of friendship. I wouldn't know who you are outside of the last two years, and the feelings wouldn't be so conflicting.

 

I am lost today.

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Ang.gg

Ang.gg

Posted
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*sigh* I hate that the urge hit me all of a sudden to message you. Even though I laid there in bed sleepless about what I would say if I texted I knew I could'nt bring myself to. The following came to mind

 

You told me not long ago you still thought about me a lot.

I still think about you a lot too.

I wish things could have ended differently for us.

 

But here's the thing, I'm processing more and more that if you wanted to change things you would have. You could have brought yourself to communicate with me after I reached out to you multiple times. I just wanted it to end amicably!!

What on earth makes you think I want to hear that you still think about me a lot or you're looking forward to seeing me?

 

I vacillate between sadness and anger to seeing who you really are and I HATE that I allowed myself to be taken for a fool.

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barese1

barese1

Posted
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I just miss your face so bad. I wish you would call but you never will. I wish you would just sit here with me and we could just hold each other for a while. You are the most beautiful person in the world to me and I mean nothing to you.

 

I hate that I love you.

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barese1

barese1

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Right there with you. :(

 

Probably the hardest thing about a break up...unrequited love. Their loss though

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ItWentWrong

ItWentWrong

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Posted

f**K you. You lied....you manipulated...you used me. when something better came along you left me here wondering what happened.

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Edtheduck

Edtheduck

Posted
Posted

God I miss you. You didn't reply to my message, I didn't expect you to.

 

At least you know I'm still around, and think of you every damn day since April, when you broke my heart.

 

Will you ever heal it? Doubt it. I hope someone does one day.

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BigBear

BigBear

Posted
Posted

Awful night last night but better today. My sister always stands with me. At least I have her to turn to. She knows what it is to be loyal and supportive no matter the situation. Unlike you. You run.... run run run away. Things are getting difficult, not everything is happy....RUN!!!

 

I didn't really understand the meaning of passive aggressive until all of this. The more I read, the more it IS you. Your refusal to address any of the legitimate things I've sent you by email says so much. You just deny that you could have been part of the problem. But I KNOW you, and I KNOW what you think when you go to bed at night. You hate yourself. You hate everything about yourself. You think you're fat, you think everyone else at work will find out you are a phony. You hated your life here. You really hate everything come to think of it. You're just as critical of other people as you are of yourself. You are simultaneously too good for others and not good enough for others. You need help.

 

It's a good thing we are not talking right now. Yesterday was very hard for me. An awful morning, I felt like dying, I was so depressed. Midday picked up. Then playing softball in the evening, I was doing just fine. Until, all of a sudden, standing in the outfield, that damn thought entered my mind: Your wife left you. And suddenly everything was ruined. For a few moments I forgot about you and was having fun, but then you just had to enter my head. I hate you. I did not deserve this.

 

Today, much brighter feeling. It won't be hard to not contact you if this mood keeps up. I hope for more days like this. After a few days of me not reaching out you always reach out for me. Which....I don't know if I want that or not. I am so mad at you, so distrustful. In the mood I am in today I don't want you back at all. But give me a day or so and I am in a whole different, weaker place. Yes, every time I find myself needing you I feel sad and weak. I want more days like today.

 

I will never rid myself of you because of our son. Reality is I have to deal with you in some form for the next 20 or so years and that really sucks. Getting over you will be harder than the rest because we can't just go our own way. I don't look forward to your controlling BS. But I do look forward to moving on with my life and having awesome times with xxxxxxxxxx. You better not screw him up lady.

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Dave41

Dave41

Posted
Posted

Daer T, Im sorry for last weekend. I behaved abnormal.

 

there is no excuse for what i did and i regret that i made myself look so overly obsessed with you, when in fact i really just wanted to frustrate things even more then they already were.

I know you dont believe me.

If you knew my situation you would understand maybe but i can't use that as an excuse. I regret everything. it feels like i made it worse for myself. I am over you (or at least getting there) i just cant stand being ignored.

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Toru

Toru

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I know you have your big audition to get into this acting course tomorrow.

Even though we don't speak anymore to get over each other, I wanted to wish you good luck.

You've hurt me like hell and I know we will probably never work. Heck I don't even know if we will ever say more than 10 sentences to each other. But I want you to be happy because I will always love you.

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Edtheduck

Edtheduck

Posted
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It's Friday, I wish I was leaving work early as I used to every other Friday, and coming up to see you. You used to be so excited to see me, and me too.

 

I don't know why it just went to pot. Am thinking of you today Betty, even though I really shouldn't be. I hope you're well.

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lovinglife21

lovinglife21

Posted
Posted

I ****ing hate you and everything you took away from me. I've given you your stuff back, and all of the memories. I 've passed it to you now. I'm free from you now and feel nothing apart from repulsion towards you. I wish I could tell you how much you disgust me, but I will not give you any more of my time.

 

I am happy. I know you will never come back and I'm thankful for that.

 

I wish you were dead.

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barese1

barese1

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I miss hearing your bullsh&t and randomness. I still think about you everyday. You made me so happy and I really thought I made you happy too....clearly not.

 

Can't believe you haven't rang me, guess I was wrong what I said that first day we went out with everyone. You are the same as the others.

 

I just wish you were here and spent the night with me, I never wanted to fall in love with you. great for you you didn't. F78king sucks like sh*t that I did.

 

Go be single, have fun, you will always have a string of men after you, I know most of which will be (unts, guess thats what girls actually go for

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no_more_tries

no_more_tries

Posted
Posted

Got through the setback of hearing your voice. One thing is abundantly clear to me, you are a wounded, wounded individual. I see now that there is nothing I could have done, nothing I could have been to save our relationship because you have so much healing to do yourself. I hope you will pursue that. Instead of seeking a new relationship, for your sake, and anyone in your future, I so hope you take the time to mend your own heart. I am going to do the same. I am doing the same.

 

I truly believe someday you will look back on this time, and wonder what might have been. But even if you don't, it doesn't matter to me. Because I am looking ahead... when I bring "what might've been" into the equation, I see I am experiencing hurt now that will prevent me from so much greater hurt later. And THAT makes this all ok.

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CopingGal

CopingGal

Posted
Posted

I'm doing okay. You emotionally beat the hell out of me. But I'm still here. I'm getting my confidence back. I'm feeling better as the days go by. I'm changing. I'm growing. But you...you will always be you. That is why I pray for you.

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BetheButterfly

BetheButterfly

Posted
Posted (edited)
I'm doing okay. You emotionally beat the hell out of me. But I'm still here. I'm getting my confidence back. I'm feeling better as the days go by. I'm changing. I'm growing. But you...you will always be you. That is why I pray for you.

 

I am proud of you CopingGal.

 

You're doing good. Keep growing. Art Critic has a wonderful signature that I love... "~~ One day someone will walk into your life and make you see why it never worked out with anyone else.. ~~ "

 

Blessings! :love:

Edited by BetheButterfly
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Phanpooh

Phanpooh

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Posted

I know you are hurting but that was your decision and because of that, i'm the only person in the world who can't make you feel better...

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CopingGal

CopingGal

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I am proud of you CopingGal.

 

You're doing good. Keep growing. Art Critic has a wonderful signature that I love... "~~ One day someone will walk into your life and make you see why it never worked out with anyone else.. ~~ "

 

Blessings! :love:

 

 

Thank you very much. I am doing better overall, but sometimes I have setbacks, which will be evident in this thread. But again, thanks. This forum has helped me so very, very much.

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Edtheduck

Edtheduck

Posted
Posted

It's at times like these I really do miss you.

 

Home, alone, on a Friday night. BS on TV, nothing to do. Mind switches back to you, and everything we used to do on Fridays. The excitement of seeing eachother after a week, the enjoyment of the company, the smile on your kids faces when I walked through the door.

 

I hate that I love you....still.

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CopingGal

CopingGal

Posted
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I'm feeling pretty even this evening...a little sad, but mostly even. I'm doing my deep breathing and Chi-gong. I try to do these several times a week. It keeps me calm and helps me focus.

 

I often wonder if you are thinking about me. Probably not since you took great pleasure in pretending to be my boyfriend via words while ignoring me, rejecting me, abandoning me (although not officially) and cheating on me.

 

One day, my anger will be gone and all that will be left is pity. Right now, it's mixed. I prayed for you because your life is such a mess. You live a very, very sad life.

 

Bye.

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