no_more_tries Posted June 30, 2012 Share Posted June 30, 2012 (edited) **** you! I'm done. DONE!! No more tears over you. No more hoping. No more wanting. No more waiting. No more precious time wasted on missing you. No more wasted thoughts. No more energy typing these notes. You think I can't walk away, too? You think I can't write you off, and pretend you into non-existance, also? Watch me, baby. I AM DONE! Don't ever turn back. Edited June 30, 2012 by no_more_tries Link to post Share on other sites
ihateslowjams Posted June 30, 2012 Share Posted June 30, 2012 (edited) Its been 4 weeks since the BU and i still feel horrible every day. Out of all the reasons you broke up with me, i feel like they were all BS and you just wanted to go out and party and flirt with all the new rich guys you've been hanging out with. I know I've been boring lately, but thats because I've been going to school still and don't have as much money anymore since i cut my hours. For you to not see all of the sacrifices I've made to ensure you're happiness, is a direct stab to my heart. I gave up drinking, partying, and hanging out with all of the girls i used to hang out with because you hated all of it and were "uncomfortable"/jealous of it all. You had no friends when i met you and wanted me to stay home with you instead of going out with my friends for the length of the relationship. Then, for you to tell me we weren't compatible? BS!!! I handled all of your tantrums/anger/depression easily and made sure you felt great about yourself afterwards. We would even lay in bed for HOURS just cuddling and talking to one another (even weeks before the break up). If we weren't compatible, how could we do nothing with each other and you enjoy the moment together? you even said that you could just lay there for days with me. I know that what you actually meant about "not compatible" was how i didn't want to go out for the past 6 months because i didn't have money anymore since i cut my hours at work. You only saw that as me being boring and not having the same feeling of wanting to go out and do new things. When you first met me, i was ALWAYS out and about. It was YOU that told me to stay home to save more money because we didn't have any at the time. Then, when you got a BIG raise (that you didn't deserve and only got because of pure luck), thats when you wanted to start going out and saw me as "holding you back". Again, BS!!! How could you not see what i was going through? how could you not see the sacrifices i made for you? and how could you SAY we weren't compatible? I never told you that you couldnt go out with your friends and stay home with me. If anything, I've always encouraged you to go out with your friends and ill wait for you at your place since you loved coming home to me. How can you say i held you back or even how you felt restricted with me?? i know what you meant was how you wanted to be able to talk to all these new rich guys and not feel guilty for flirting with them or even vying for their damn attention. I can't believe you are that shallow. I remember how i was there for you through your DARKEST times. Remember those times when you would cry every night because you had no one? how you didn't know what was the point of your life? when your mother disliked what you were doing with your life and said you were a nobody? how you would feel like crap because NO ONE hired you (out of 11 damn companies)? I was their through EVERYTHING, lifting you back up and making sure all you had to do was relax when you got home. ESPECIALLY how you felt sad in LONDON because no one wanted to do what you wanted to do. so i flew out there for a week so i could be there with you and do EVERYTHING you wanted to do without forcing other people to go with you. And then there was that time where you worked in retail at the mall and hated the damn job. You wore the wrong shoes and were in pain from it. So i drove to your house, picked up better shoes, and dropped it off for you at your work so you could switch shoes. You were so happy when i did that without you asking me... too bad i know that you'll never remember it ever again... too bad i know all you care for now, is immediate satisfaction... too bad i know that you just want someone there that can pay for your happiness (even though you have money yourself)... too bad i wasn't good enough financially at the moment (even though I'm going to school to get a higher paying career)... too bad all i could offer you at the moment was loyalty, effort, thoughtfulness, love, care, and comfort... Too bad you only care about image and money... I hate how your new money and your new friends changed you. I hate how you didn't even warn me of your waving feelings beforehand. I hate how you look down on everyone and their dreams/ambitions in life after you got your big raise at your age (23). I hate how you judge people by their financial wealth instead of their character. I hate the look you give everyone because you think everyone is below you (including your friends). I hate that look you give me because you think I'm worth nothing in your eyes... You broke me and have made me feel like I'm a loser after you told me ill never be successful in life. I still remember the look on your face when you said it... it showed that you KNEW it was going to hurt me more than anything in the world. Yet, you still said it with conviction and belief... I wish, you only luck and true happiness... but to be honest, i hope to God you get a reality check one day that knocks you off your high horse and I'm there to witness it. Edited June 30, 2012 by ihateslowjams Link to post Share on other sites
DuchessKaye Posted June 30, 2012 Share Posted June 30, 2012 Stop right where you are... Don't you ever dare try take a step closer to me again. I'm doing fine without you. Take that! Link to post Share on other sites
coltsfan1 Posted June 30, 2012 Share Posted June 30, 2012 After all this time it still hits me on occasion. I never thought it would come to this, but that was your choice. I guess I keep writing here since we can't speak, I do hope things work out for you. I don't know where you are or what you are doing, but I truly desire for things to be working out in your life as well as things are in mine. Link to post Share on other sites
iambookworm Posted June 30, 2012 Share Posted June 30, 2012 I dreamt of you last night. Something happened and you were in the hospital. I took care of you. Is that how it will be? Will I always be thinking of you? I am told that I have to tell powers that be about what you did. That someone who can do what you did should have their security clearance taken from them. Should I be that bitchy? If I do tell on you, you might lose your job and any hope of getting any more after that. Too many people will be affected. You, your wife, your kids. But it is the right thing to do. Sigh. I still don't know. Link to post Share on other sites
iambookworm Posted June 30, 2012 Share Posted June 30, 2012 How come your pictures with her are a totally different person? How come your pictures with her, you are barely smiling. But with me, you are always smiling. Always happy. Dang you. Dang you. Dang you! Link to post Share on other sites
Niaka44 Posted June 30, 2012 Share Posted June 30, 2012 Wow. I just read through all my old posts in this thread, and I can't believe how much has happened since I last wrote in here. When I posted in November, I had no idea that only a few weeks later you would contact me, and that a little over a month after that, we'd be back together. And we tried so hard this time, didn't we? We thought we could just go back to the way we were, but slightly modified, slightly better. We were communicating just like I always wished we could the first time around. But it didn't last, because neither of us was as ready to change as we thought. Communication failed once again. Funny thing is, this time we were communicating too much instead of too little. I pushed and pushed and pushed, sure that if I could just get you to keep talking, everything would be fine. You resented me for this more than I knew. We stayed together for 5 months, but we were only happy for the first two. When things started to go downhill, we let them drag on, neither of us wanting to admit to a second failure. Even at the end, I was in denial that we could possibly be on the same page about how our relationship was going. I was sure that once again, it was just me who was having doubts, and that you were just waiting for me to figure things out. Turns out you were just as doubtful, and you were just better at hiding it. You initiated our ending this time, and though I agreed it was for the best, the finality of this decision shocked me. This time, there will be no getting back together, because we fell out of love for good. And all those years of friendship are in the past. There's no future for us that I can see, and this makes me sad, but it also makes me realize how much I've learned from you. It took me a month to accept that I'm better off without you, and now that I have, I'm thriving on my own. I want to thank you for teaching me that life is about the good stuff more than the bad, and that happiness isn't something to constantly be looking for - it's something to create for yourself. Even though I can't share my newfound understanding of life with you, it's okay. You have your happiness without me too. And if we ever speak again, I think we'll be civil and maybe even happy to hear about each other. I'll keep the good parts with me, and I'll never forget the way we used to laugh. I hope you always remember that too. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
billythefish Posted June 30, 2012 Share Posted June 30, 2012 your work mate is beautiful & she likes me...people are trying to set us up & i hope we get together....not to piss you off cos she doesnt deserve that.. but because she is a better person than you so get lost loser.....LOL Link to post Share on other sites
billythefish Posted June 30, 2012 Share Posted June 30, 2012 having sex with you was like throwing a sausage up princess street in Edinburgh.... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
DuchessKaye Posted June 30, 2012 Share Posted June 30, 2012 (edited) I just saw your newly uploaded photos with some random chic... New girlfriend? Weekend fling? I don't care! Shocked? Yeps... But hurt? Definitely NO! I'm wayyy prettier than her, you know it! And I bet, she sucks in bed! :laugh: Who else can give you blow jobs better than I did? Edited June 30, 2012 by DuchessKaye 3 Link to post Share on other sites
billythefish Posted June 30, 2012 Share Posted June 30, 2012 oh & by the way....you are a crap lay...thank god for my right hand.. LOL even more Link to post Share on other sites
billythefish Posted June 30, 2012 Share Posted June 30, 2012 why did i get lumbered with you ?....i remember you saying that you could be a total bitch some times....i saw it & was on the receiving end of it....you are a cow & i hope you are lonely...i some how doubt it though cos you are a slut Link to post Share on other sites
SerCay Posted June 30, 2012 Share Posted June 30, 2012 You used to say, ''everybody is looking at you, you're the centre of attention'', you used to notice people were looking at me all the time, even though I never paid attention to this. You used to say how hot I am and how I was the most beautiful woman you had ever been with. Well...what happened? why did you need the attention of those girls you banged in the past? your explanation: ''I like to talk to a lot of people'' Is that the reason why you slowly started to talk less to me and more to others? Is that the reason why you didn't want to put me on FB as your gf? Because you ''liked to talk to other people''? If there's one thing I regret it's that I didn't look or snoop for solid proof you were either cheating or chatting up others...I would have had my closure and I would have moved on looong time by now. Because of your constant ''I never did anything wrong rants, now I'm here, at 3 weeks NC still sitting home Saturday night, thinking about you.. You insecure, shady, sneaky, pretty-from-the-outside-rotten-from-the-inside F**cking narcissist. I HATE YOU. Link to post Share on other sites
billythefish Posted June 30, 2012 Share Posted June 30, 2012 your moustache now looks like Sam Elliots....including the grey bits. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BigBear Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 So you see me hurting, really hurting, and the first thing you think to say is "I suppose you are going to tell me this is all because of me?". Hahahaha. So like you, to think of yourself first. I'm hurting and you could inquire as to how I am doing, but instead your first instinct is to try to cover your back and make sure you're not the focus of the blame. You will never take accountability for anything. This is becoming clearer and clearer as the days go on. You always have a stockpile of things you did in the past to vouch for how you are not wrong, and another stockpile of things I did in the past that were horrible. You are always ready to defend the fact that you were not wrong....at anything. It's tiring fighting with you, you are so professional at it. There is no reaching you at all. I hope in our lives we are able to raise Xxxxxxxxx and not screw him up, or turn him against the other parent. I don't know how we'll do this. I'm getting closer and closer to falling out of love completely with you. But whenever I start to slip you inch back a bit. Damn you. You sense I'm slipping, you don't want that, you still want all the control. There will be no getting over or getting away from you if you have any say in it. The best I can hope for is that I soon feel nothing for you and we can coexist as acquaintances who have to work together for Xxxxxxxxx's sake. I really look forward to the day when I can hang up the phone after speaking with you and not feel any sense of loss...just me moving on to the next task in my day. Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 Hey, I'm holding out for a hero, not a friggin' sociopath. F- you. Be gone! Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 I went to bed thinking about another man and woke up thinking about another man. Ha-ha! Link to post Share on other sites
Edtheduck Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 You know whats ****ed up? I find myself thinking you shouldn't ever feel that I'm not thinking of you, when I always am. As much as you were an amazing partner, and your kids truly were great kids, I was a good man to you too. I never cheated, stuck by you through some low times, and we always came out smiling. Now, you can't even say hello or pick up the phone to see what I'm doing and how I am? You went from loving me completely to not giving a ****. And here's the funny thing....I still think you're special. Clearly not special enough else we would still be together. Link to post Share on other sites
Mariana345 Posted July 1, 2012 Share Posted July 1, 2012 I don't wish you happiness. I wish you would be as hurt as I am, but I doesn't seem so. I'm angry, because you left me for the same cause you didn't wanted to left me 3 years ago!! And at that time would have been better than wait this long!!! For your so called "friend"? Nah! I don't believe you. I know that you give up so mucho for me, but I did that too, I give up my dreams and you don't worth it. I loved you truly, I give up so much just to stay with you, and that makes me angry, angry with you and myself, to be so stupid to believe in you! It's not fair that you can recover so fast, and that I have to go through so much to have my life back!! I can believe it!!! And the worst part is that, even though I know all of this, and I'm sooooo hurt for you to breakup with me... I stil have a little part of me that want you back But I will move on, that's for sure Link to post Share on other sites
msfreebyme Posted July 2, 2012 Share Posted July 2, 2012 I feel like my tie with you is so thin now. I barely thought of you today. But I realized for me to even consider you gone from my thoughts for good another guy needs to be just the right guy. But I don't need a guy to save me anymore....you and I are similar...we do both want to just find the one to love....I just take my time and make sure I will find true love and well, you don't. I do feel like I can face you now....just not intentionally. I am feeling prouder of myself though. But I continue to feel nothing but sorrow for you and your family. Having your bother sent to jail. My thoughts really reach out to your nieces...I wish I could hug them and let them know I love them. I will always care for you...but your life just saddens me. I realize why you are so bitter and why you are who you are. I wish I could help but sadly I know you're just as stubborn as I can be. Plus it's not my life to fix. Link to post Share on other sites
Gulf-Delta Posted July 2, 2012 Share Posted July 2, 2012 I'm finished with you, N. I'm over it. I figured after time apart, and me giving you space, you'd come to your senses and realize that you threw away the greatest person you'll ever know. I hope you know you threw away someone who loved you no matter what. Always remember that I tried my damnedest to make it work. YOU walked out. My only crime was supporting and loving you unconditionally. I hope you cry over me. I hope that it all hits you one day. When I meet my TRUE soulmate, and I have a beautiful wife, amazing children, and wonderful home, I hope you find out. I hope you realize it all could've been yours. I hope one day, you look down at your left ring finger where my ring was and realize that you had it made, and you threw it away. I hope you think of the first nite we kissed, and cry yourself to sleep at night, because you will never experience that spark again, and you realize you will NEVER be able to fix what you did. For you, N, I would have done anything. And I did. But in your eyes I was never good enough. And I'm furious because I wasted 2 years of my life on someone who only thinks of me as a memory. I thought you were sent to me by God, and it turned out you were just another run of the mill girl that I had spent my whole dating life avoiding. I am thankful now, because I'm not stuck with your kids, and not stuck in a marriage to a woman who could leave me without any explanation. In the end, it's good you left, because I don't want to spend my life with someone who could just drop me like an old cup. Instead, you led me to realize I deserve better. I know that I should have higher standards now, and hold out for a woman who will actually respect me, and never leave me. There was a time that I envied your new Zack Galifinackis lookalike "boyfriend". But I began to realize I have no reason to be envious. He has done nothing but gain a confused little girl who will leave him in two years anyway. I guess I feel sorry for the bastard. It's only a matter of time before you walk out on him, just like you did to me and _____. In fact, he has just gained a naive, insecure girl he can use and throw away at his will. And he will. We all get what we deserve, N. I did nothing but treat you like a queen. I held you when you cried. I encouraged you to do something with your life. I fixed you when you were broken. Karma will treat me just fine. Fate will bring me a woman who recognizes how great of a man I am. You on the other hand...you have left a path of broken men in your path, and you will be doomed to this for a long time. The ginger loser you're dating now will break your heart and you will have no one. You'll look for me and I will do nothing but pity you. What goes around comes around. You never loved yourself N, and that's why no one will ever respect or love you. You already had that, and you didn't care. I dont want you to think that I hated our time together. Not at all. We had a great time. And I really did love you. But in the end it just wan't enough, which is fine, because, while you betrayed me, it set me free to meet the woman who will have my children someday. Now, I know this letter is harsh and you might be in tears....you probably are. But it's a pittance compared to the tears I shed for you and the way you made me feel. I really wish it wasn't this way. I wish you would've come back. I wish you'd have reached out for friendship at least. But you have made your bed. Now you must lie in it. You wanted me in your life, but your actions have cemented you in my mind as a lesson. A lesson in my past. Goodbye and Good Luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Edtheduck Posted July 2, 2012 Share Posted July 2, 2012 Why do I miss you so much right now? Night J, hope you're well. Link to post Share on other sites
DuchessKaye Posted July 3, 2012 Share Posted July 3, 2012 Oh my f-cking goodness. Why did you let her hear you scream my name while she was riding you? :laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
DuchessKaye Posted July 3, 2012 Share Posted July 3, 2012 Ohh Baby, did you just realize that I'm not like the rest!? ♥ Link to post Share on other sites
iambookworm Posted July 3, 2012 Share Posted July 3, 2012 I saw the Katy Perry video "Wide Awake". It sums up what I feel. And the purple butterfly was the exact sign I asked from God. I am wide awake and I am letting you go. Link to post Share on other sites
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