msfreebyme Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 What a sad....sad dissapointment....you are such a disdurbing man whore now. Congratz! I win!!!! XD Link to post Share on other sites
BigBear Posted July 26, 2012 Share Posted July 26, 2012 M, I had my first date with someone else last night. Let me tell you, what an amazing, refreshing experience. How nice to be with someone who actually likes to listen to me. All we did is have a light meal and then hang out at a bookstore and talk, but wow, what a bright ray of sunshine into my life. How exciting to hold someone's hand for the first time and see the excitement in their eyes at our first touch. Just touching fingertips at first, examining this new hand I was holding. It felt GREAT. At the end it was pouring rain and we ran through the rain holding hands and laughing...it couldn't have been scripted better in a movie. Truly romantic moment. At the end when I dropped her off at her house she said wow, I think that was the best first date I ever had. Seems somebody still values me. I thought about her on the drive home and as I tried to fall asleep. I also thought about you and I realized, wow, I think you've been out of love with me for a long time. I could suddenly feel how little you put into giving love to me. I didn't even make out with this new girl, I just held her hand a bit, and in that I felt far more passion than I had felt from you in a long time. I had thoughts to how you used to be excited around me. But compared to how you were at the end...well...I just can't believe how far it slipped and how much I just settled for whatever tiny amount of affection you were willing to give me. In the last 6 months of our marriage I realize you did virtually nothing in bed to please me. You wouldn't give of yourself even the most basic things, other than to "make yourself available" when I needed sex. But you put no heart into it, you just laid there and let me go at it. And somehow I didn't really realize, or didn't want to see, how little heart you were putting into it. So many of the things we used to do in bed you stopped doing or didn't want anymore, and I just went with it, I guess because I thought that's what happened in marriage, that things just cooled off. I say today you have done me a tremendous favor. I am very cognizant of the fact this is the first person I have been with since you, and I have to be very careful not to hurt her. Very careful to not be doing this just to spite you. I don't think I am. I think the lady is a very genuine, loving, caring REAL person. The excitement between us was awesome. We are both going into this knowing it will not be a full-time relationship. We both have sons and we aren't going to expose them to our relationship until we know it is very very solid. But we are also both healing from very sudden, family-destroying partners as well. I can see she is a good person, with a lot to give, and she's been badly hurt, as have I. But our focus will not be you and him. It will be us, healing us, feeling joy again, feeling the appreciation of another warm body, someone who gets it. Someone who cares. M, I thank you for this. You encouraged me to go out and find someone else and I just may have. I could not be in this very contented place without you. Enjoy your newfound freedom. Link to post Share on other sites
Blastoplast Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 So you admit that you've made out with somebody since we've broken up, I've slept with somebody else already. Why does this still hurt? When I first found out about it I really didn't care, but then when it came from you it set me back. UGH, and I'm even trying to do NO CONTACT. Then you send me you didn't mean to open any worms, I miss you terribly it hurts my heart, please don't hate me. WHAT THE **** DO YOU WANT? If this hurts so much, then GOOD. I hope it burns a hole in your heart, because you know what we had was special, and if you were in fact pining after somebody at the end our relationship, after every ****ing thing I had done for you and for us -- I don't ever want to talk to you then you insincere malcontent. Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 L, I found myself very sad today. Very, very sad...just thinking about all you did to me. I know you don't care. I know you stopped caring about me while you were still dating me. I don't know if you ever cared about me. I tell myself that it's just me you treated so horribly and you treated that thing you cheated on me with so well. But deep down I know that you probably didn't...and if by chance you did, sooner or later you were treat her very badly. How do I know this? Because it's what you do. It hurts so badly now, but I know on some level that I'm lucky. I learned what it's like to date a narcissistic, sociopathic man. I can be better prepared for the future. I commend myself for being strong and leaving you. You showed me what a very, very bad relationship looks like. Someday I will be grateful for that. You are a poor quality person. You have a problemed personality. You have too many problems to mention. These aren't my words. These are the words of the couple's therapist and a gal on the mental health hotline. They understand what kind of dismal, troubled, poor quality person you are. The therapist could see through your lies and decided you were not someone that should be believed on any level. I stood by your through your year of homelessness, legal troubles, and health problems. But that didn't matter to you. Through all the lies, your insults, your disrespect, I stood through it all. How I regret ever meeting you. Remember the legal troubles...the ones you never wanted to talk about? The ones you were never open about? I realize now it's probably because you did what you were accused of. You are a liar, a cheater, a con-artist, a user, a manipulator, and a control freak. To go around telling people that you are a marytr, a good person, and a straight shooter (an honest person) is absolutely laughable. You really are the sickest person I ever dated. Link to post Share on other sites
Jamesblame Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 Amanda, What the hell? Why the mixed signal text and later no reply? I would like to keep you as a friend in my life, but I've moved on and don't appreciate the fact that you can't. If you need to be reminded, remember that we both decided to not date and you were the one who "had no romantic feelings". I'd like to think better of you, but sending mixed signals to a friend without wanting to talk about those signals later is a rotten thing to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Gulf-Delta Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 Today is a rough day N. I really want to call you, just to explain why we haven't talked. To tell you I don't hate you, and I forgive you. To tell you I hope we can reconnect and become friends someday. Link to post Share on other sites
jmjacobs31 Posted July 28, 2012 Share Posted July 28, 2012 I miss you so much still. I still wish that we could have worked things out. I have cried almost every day this week because of you. I wish that I could make it stop. I wish that I could begin to get over you but its just so hard! God I miss you, and your touch, and just simply being with you. I dont know how I am suppose to get over you Link to post Share on other sites
SeventhFloor Posted July 28, 2012 Share Posted July 28, 2012 How could you **** him and then talk to me a few hours later like nothing happened. How could you kiss me? How could you face me? How could you lie like that? **** you Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted July 28, 2012 Share Posted July 28, 2012 I'm stronger...surprisingly...after all, it is the start of the weekend. I feel somewhat better. I want something that you can never give me...respect...that's right, bastard. I want respect and you can't give it. Screw you. Link to post Share on other sites
Viv Posted July 28, 2012 Share Posted July 28, 2012 I'm feeling so so sad today, whenever things go wrong in my life I remember what you said to me, that I would never be a success. I feel so down that all I can think is that if the person I thought was my best friend and partner for life thinks I'm worthless then I must be. I feel so stuck, it hasn't worked out where I am, and I don't want to move back and run into you, and then you can say it was all true, that I always make a mess of things. You treated me like rubbish, and you enjoyed making me feel bad, I feel like it was kind of trauma and I need help to get over it but don't have any support. You made sure to leave me in a vulnerable position. You are sick, you didn't just leave me but you destroyed me in the process, you treated me like rubbish and now I feel like I am. You always put me down, then put me down to other people when I wasn't living up to your expectations because you changed me into someone sad and anxious. You wanted to make yourself look better by making me out to be 'no good'. I do not understand how someone can feel better by making someone else feel so bad. I wish I had never met you so badly, our time together was bad and left in my such a bad position that even though I've tried so hard to rebuild my life, I'm tired and lonely and feel like I don't have anymore strength in me. I wish the world didn't have monsters like you in it, ones that can appear kind and charming but thrive on hurting people when they know they can. I'm so sad and tired today. Link to post Share on other sites
Gulf-Delta Posted July 28, 2012 Share Posted July 28, 2012 I'm feeling so so sad today, whenever things go wrong in my life I remember what you said to me, that I would never be a success. I feel so down that all I can think is that if the person I thought was my best friend and partner for life thinks I'm worthless then I must be. I feel so stuck, it hasn't worked out where I am, and I don't want to move back and run into you, and then you can say it was all true, that I always make a mess of things. You treated me like rubbish, and you enjoyed making me feel bad, I feel like it was kind of trauma and I need help to get over it but don't have any support. You made sure to leave me in a vulnerable position. You are sick, you didn't just leave me but you destroyed me in the process, you treated me like rubbish and now I feel like I am. You always put me down, then put me down to other people when I wasn't living up to your expectations because you changed me into someone sad and anxious. You wanted to make yourself look better by making me out to be 'no good'. I do not understand how someone can feel better by making someone else feel so bad. I wish I had never met you so badly, our time together was bad and left in my such a bad position that even though I've tried so hard to rebuild my life, I'm tired and lonely and feel like I don't have anymore strength in me. I wish the world didn't have monsters like you in it, ones that can appear kind and charming but thrive on hurting people when they know they can. I'm so sad and tired today. This person doesn't deserve a second thought. They're scum and you didn't deserve being treated like that *hug* You're better off with this person out of your life Link to post Share on other sites
esteem-jam Posted July 28, 2012 Share Posted July 28, 2012 I wonder what you told your co-workers. I see that one girl in town sometimes. Sometimes she is dressed fine (like yesterday), sometimes I have seen her so-so. I think back in school she said something critical to me, but I cant remember what it was. Now I wonder if she is worried I might act up somehow... she eyed me a couple of times. If taking away those awful events then, I think I might be on semi-good terms with her, if I happened to know her. Looking at the bigger picture- she does not seem so critical as you. Link to post Share on other sites
Jamesblame Posted July 28, 2012 Share Posted July 28, 2012 Amanda, I was sad today and realized that I miss you as a friend like you wouldn't believe. It's funny that I got over the pain of the ended relationship, but the friendship is what's killing me. I can't stand to think of our shared memories dividing forever, my time with you for over 3 years all gone. I've got different women to date, I've got a good job, and a nice social life. But you...as a friend...you I have to learn to let go. It's not easy because my guilt and pst mistakes are in part the reason why we're not friends (of course you were a major bitch too ) I can understand that this relationship was a learning experience, and I know that we would never do well together. But losing you as a friend is a tough price for maturity. I really held onto hope that we could be close friends. But I suppose it wasn't meant to be. Link to post Share on other sites
msfreebyme Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 I'm feeling so so sad today, whenever things go wrong in my life I remember what you said to me, that I would never be a success. I feel so down that all I can think is that if the person I thought was my best friend and partner for life thinks I'm worthless then I must be. I feel so stuck, it hasn't worked out where I am, and I don't want to move back and run into you, and then you can say it was all true, that I always make a mess of things. You treated me like rubbish, and you enjoyed making me feel bad, I feel like it was kind of trauma and I need help to get over it but don't have any support. You made sure to leave me in a vulnerable position. You are sick, you didn't just leave me but you destroyed me in the process, you treated me like rubbish and now I feel like I am. You always put me down, then put me down to other people when I wasn't living up to your expectations because you changed me into someone sad and anxious. You wanted to make yourself look better by making me out to be 'no good'. I do not understand how someone can feel better by making someone else feel so bad. I wish I had never met you so badly, our time together was bad and left in my such a bad position that even though I've tried so hard to rebuild my life, I'm tired and lonely and feel like I don't have anymore strength in me. I wish the world didn't have monsters like you in it, ones that can appear kind and charming but thrive on hurting people when they know they can. I'm so sad and tired today. Viv, Sometimes the monsters in our childhood aren't in our closets. They can be wolves in sheeps clothing. I can completely understand your story since your story was pretty much exactly what I went through. Some of the reasons that person does that is he/she has a lowest level of self esteem possible (he may or may not show it) and chooses to be a monster by belittling others. Most likely they have been bullied at home or just became that way through some sort of other bully. It gets tiring some days thinking about all of the reasons why that peice of shat is the way he/she is but in the end one thing is for sure. He/she will never change...and that you deserve so much better than that. Just hold your head high and remember that the best possible revenge on the jerk is success....and yes it is possible even though your ex said its not (btw they lied because they don't want you to succeed or do better than them). It takes time and learning to slowly love yourself a little more. But most importantly in the end learn to forgive that person in your hear and leave that past behind you. Learn to just be you. I am still healing and getting stronger and happier each day and you can too. Stay strong and stay beautiful, msfreebyme Link to post Share on other sites
Viv Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 This person doesn't deserve a second thought. They're scum and you didn't deserve being treated like that *hug* You're better off with this person out of your life Thanku so much, am feeling much better today, even after a year those sad days still come with a vengeance! Link to post Share on other sites
Viv Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 Viv, Sometimes the monsters in our childhood aren't in our closets. They can be wolves in sheeps clothing. I can completely understand your story since your story was pretty much exactly what I went through. Some of the reasons that person does that is he/she has a lowest level of self esteem possible (he may or may not show it) and chooses to be a monster by belittling others. Most likely they have been bullied at home or just became that way through some sort of other bully. It gets tiring some days thinking about all of the reasons why that peice of shat is the way he/she is but in the end one thing is for sure. He/she will never change...and that you deserve so much better than that. Just hold your head high and remember that the best possible revenge on the jerk is success....and yes it is possible even though your ex said its not (btw they lied because they don't want you to succeed or do better than them). It takes time and learning to slowly love yourself a little more. But most importantly in the end learn to forgive that person in your hear and leave that past behind you. Learn to just be you. I am still healing and getting stronger and happier each day and you can too. Stay strong and stay beautiful, msfreebyme Thankyou so much for taking the time to reply. I read through some of your posts, some people really can be monsters, can't they. I've never used that word to describe anyone before, but he is. His father is a bully and his mother idolizes him, so yes I guess belittling others is the ways he tries to repair his fragile self-esteem. Everytime I think about what he said about me not being a success I will remember that it is a problem within him that made him want to hurt me, and that he doesn't want me to be successful because that would make him feel bad. Because someone like him said it, it has no validity. I will TRY to remember this. I'm glad that you're getting stronger and happier each day, it's obvious from what you write that you understand, and I appreciate you taking the time to help me. Thanku! Viv Link to post Share on other sites
Jamesblame Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 Amanda. Today I'm devastated at your refusal to accept my olive branch. I mourned the relationship earlier, and now I'm in the process of mourning the friendship...this pain is less crippling, but I am sure it will be much longer lasting. It's really getting to me that you don't want to be friends --- it confuses me. We liked eachother enough to date but not to talk? What gives? We're both seeing other people so why don't you want to be friends with me? I'm so sad at the thought of losing you in every facet of my life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
zanzi Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 Today Im feeling defeated. Im not talking to you and you aren't talking to me. So its over. But a little voice in my head keeps saying " theres hope, theres hopes, there has to be hope." What do I do, say, or act out, what mental arithmetics should I do, what emotional and mental trapeze art do I have to complete, what 12 herculean tasks do I have to do, just to get a precious look, word, or final kiss from you. ( I keep thinking about the day you dumped me. You were so vauge and disineterested, as a pose to the last time I saw you. You walked backwards all the way across the bridge after we said goodbye just so you could keep looking at me. You said you loved me. What made you change your mind so fast? Is it too much to want to know that, I dont think it is. You dont use your old cellphone any more. Its all I had left of you. Just as well I suppose. I love you more then ever. Thats why Iv'e let you go, and I dont try to talk to you anymore. You wouldnt understand a word I was saying. Youv'e convinced yourself and made up your mind about me. I just wish my hope would die. There is no hope. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SeventhFloor Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 Seriously? Having your friend cover for you? What the **** were you doing? Fake ass friend, pretending to be there for me. **** you. Twisting my words around... **** YOU. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jennisfora Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 i still miss you. but, i know i am alone here. if you were thinking of me at all, or my son, you would reach out in some way. the silence shows me that i need to keep keeping on. someday i will be over it completely and be free of the sadness. *hugs & kisses* Link to post Share on other sites
start-fresh Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 I resent you for what you did to me so much. Crying for hours about your ex who is no longer even around, and then dumping me? What an emotional **** show. Whenever I see you around mutual friends I just want to tell you off. Tell you how emotionally immature you are. Tell you what a ****ty girlfriend you were. Good luck finding what you're looking for. Maybe you should take a look inside and realize you're just a scared little girl who runs to mommy and daddy to make decisions for herself. At this point, I just want to forget you even exist. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lvixen Posted August 1, 2012 Share Posted August 1, 2012 I can't believe I believed you when you said you would always love me. I hate you and I will never forgive you for what you've done to me! GO F**K yourself, a*****e!!! Link to post Share on other sites
dicky_fish Posted August 1, 2012 Share Posted August 1, 2012 Happy Birthday. It's been one hell of a year. Weird to think this time last year I was so worked up about missing it for the first time in years. I still miss you like hell, but there's just too much resentment for me to go back. I hope you have a good day though Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted August 1, 2012 Share Posted August 1, 2012 I'm feeling so so sad today, whenever things go wrong in my life I remember what you said to me, that I would never be a success. I feel so down that all I can think is that if the person I thought was my best friend and partner for life thinks I'm worthless then I must be. What? Don't let this bastard make you decide how you should feel about yourself. Screw him. Link to post Share on other sites
msfreebyme Posted August 1, 2012 Share Posted August 1, 2012 Thankyou so much for taking the time to reply. I read through some of your posts, some people really can be monsters, can't they. I've never used that word to describe anyone before, but he is. His father is a bully and his mother idolizes him, so yes I guess belittling others is the ways he tries to repair his fragile self-esteem. Everytime I think about what he said about me not being a success I will remember that it is a problem within him that made him want to hurt me, and that he doesn't want me to be successful because that would make him feel bad. Because someone like him said it, it has no validity. I will TRY to remember this. I'm glad that you're getting stronger and happier each day, it's obvious from what you write that you understand, and I appreciate you taking the time to help me. Thanku! Viv You are oh so very welcome! Funny thing is thats exactly how my ex's parents were too lol....weird. I hope you continue to grow stronger also. Link to post Share on other sites
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