Orionz Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 Its been a week since we have not contacted. Do you miss me? Have you thought of me? How are you doing? Hows work and everything? I don't know if im really moving on or am i still secretly gripping on hope. I know you want me to move on for it may seem to be the best for me. But each time i told myself, yeah i'm starting to move on, i never really did. Deep down in me, secretly, i still await for your call or your SMS, hoping that you will tell me that we can start all over again. You were the one i'm looking for. Not for your physical appearance. But your cheerful and beautiful character. How we shared common dreams and aspirations in life. How we plan into the future and wanting to grow old together. How we both were a sucker for romance. If there is something i've done wrong or somethign that has went wrong, please tell me. I want to know, so we can correct and move this hurdle away and move on together. I don't wanna lose you. I really love you. I told myself to move on, yeah. But i never did. I still secretly try to find out how are you and everything. Everyday i struggle and fight this temptation to want to contact you. I don't wanna control your life, i just wanted to contact you. I miss you so much. It is ironic how i want to sleep more everyday to shorten the day and shorten my pain. But each time i sleep, i dream of you and waking up is the hardest part. When i wake up, i feel like **** because i felt the feeling of losing you from the dream all over again. And so i went to sleep again to cure the pain, and the vicious cycle continues on and on. I miss you... Link to post Share on other sites
FauxVowel Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 What are you gonna do now? Are you gonna call me at work? Are you just gonna show up? Why are you draggin' this thing out? You didn't think I was serious? You thought I was gonna hang around some some annoying fly, like Mr. Ex-Husband did? I see a serious pattern here. Why are you freaking calling me when you live with some other guy??? What is UP with that??? You CHOSE him, so now BE WITH HIM!!!!! Why are you calling other guys????? That's the same **** you did with me!!!!! **** that!!!!! Why are you instigating trouble????? What is WITH you????? You are never gonna learn, ARE YOU????? What you need to do is get rid of this ****ing guy all by yourself. You tell him how stupid you were for jumping right into a relationship with him, when you will always love The Y. Then you need to get over here and convince me that you actually realized how dumb you were to not even want me as a friend in your life. Then maybe... I dunno... Probably not... You'd better just stay with him, and make things work, and quit calling other guys, 'cuz it's not cool. I'm glad you're not MY girlfriend. heh Link to post Share on other sites
iwish Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 Don't worry i'm not going to contact you. I can't do that anymore. I still think about you, do you think about me? Oh wait.. you do after 2 weeks, you told me that. Two weeks babe, i remember when you used to miss me when we were apart for one night!.. How was your weekend? Have fun? ****ed your flat mate yet? You know you've replaced me with him don't you. You acted like a couple without the affection the other night. We were the couple with the affection and you chose that?!. I am not going to contact you ever again. I am going to be a man for once. I told you that i'm here for you if you changed your mind. i told you that all you have to do is call. But in 2 days you haven't. Well i guess for you it takes a few weeks to think about me and miss me. Well this time i wont contact you. You don't want me, then i don't want you. You've hurt me babe. You don't seem to understand that. You make me feel ****ty and worthless and simply not good enough. I thought you were amazing, the most amazing creature on the planet and you think i'm just not worthy enough . Link to post Share on other sites
PhoenixFromTheFlames Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 So I've had a lot to drink, and of course, tears for you still come out. Why do I miss you when you have shown me you don't care and probably never did? Why the hell do I still love you? I hate myself for it. I still don't understand, you never said you were unhappy, you never said a word. I can only assume your new relationship will end up the same way in a couple of years. I can't hope for that though, I have to force myself to stop caring. That's probably why I don't get the 'i fell out of love line'. I have a hundred real reasons to fall out of love with you, the fact you left me for someone else being just one, and yet I'm still in love with you? How the hell does that work! It's not fair! Get out of my head! Link to post Share on other sites
fran82 Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 i've come to the conclusion that you finally fallen out of love with me, maybe you already had when i ended things. why dont you want to fight for us? why do you just accept it like fate? did i really mean that little to you? it feels like you dont care, and i dont know if you ever really did? was the whole thing just a selfish joke? was i just your piece of something you liked to dangle on a string, you use when you wanted? why do you confuse me so much! why are you so closed! part of me hates you why dont you care life sucks Link to post Share on other sites
LikeCharlotte Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 O- (I did it again) I've finally started to sleep. I just read a book you'd like and I have a huge bag of pixie sticks left over from the 4th. There are a ton of baby bunnies on the lawn at the new place and these adorable little birds that nest out back. Everything has changed but I'm okay so far. I survive, it's what I am best at. Just wanted to let you know. Hope you are okay too, it seems like you are. Can you stop being so cold now? I don't bite. We have to deal with it sooner or later... In hope, -Charlotte Link to post Share on other sites
FauxVowel Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 You called just to stir up my emotions, huh? Ok, it worked. You don't like me. You don't miss me. You just wanna remind me that you're out there, having a gay ol' time with Mr. Wonderful. I don't see you coming over here or anything. You must not miss me that much. No one even said you did. You were prolly afraid that I might be having a good time on the 4th, and drinking, so you called to mess with me. Haven't heard anything from you since. Cool. So you're just gonna like let me know you're still out there like every month or so? Ok... Um, yeah... Link to post Share on other sites
FauxVowel Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Hey there, it's me again. You got me thinking about you more again. Thanks for that. Thanks for the two phone calls on the 4th of July. That was really sweet of you to let me know that you were thinking about me. Is there like, something you WANTED? Well, it wasn't to come over... Did you just wanna bitch at me? WTF? This is what you wanted to accomplish, right? For me to be confused? Saying WTF? heh Ok... Are you comin' over here, or what? WHEN are you comin' over??? WTF are you waiting for? I'm so confused. Just leave me alone or something. Just cut your losses and move on. Or else just come over here and tell me how sorry you are. You gotta hurry this up though. I'm so glad I didn't answer. I would be even more ****ed up. Come over here dammit. You know I miss you. WTF? I can't believe I'd even talk to you. You see what a nice guy I am? WTF? I can't believe this ****. You need to hurry up and swallow your pride and get over here and apologize for treating me like complete ****, and then MAYBE we can have some sort of ****ed up friendship in the future. I'm not sure, but seriously, you need to hurry up and get over here. Why are you playing these ****ed up games????? Link to post Share on other sites
Wonderlandless Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 I want to call him and ask him if being considerate every now and then was boring. I'd buy him groceries when I knew he was strapped for cash, being available whenever he had some free time... But I want to so badly to contact him after the very positive flirting and meeting we had earlier today. ...Jesus christ. I feel so stupid. Link to post Share on other sites
Lookingforward Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 D I miss you so much tonight - I don't know why, I thought I was doing well, but suddenly I'm just awash. I hope that at least you are happy with your choice - that the pain and hurt was worth it for one of us. K Link to post Share on other sites
Crazy.S Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 You were my baby. I did everything for you. I gave you everything I can. I loved you. We were each other's first for everything. Four years just down the drain. Is that really okay with you? Do you really believe what we had is not worth saving? Seriously I treated you like a queen. I never ever lied to you. I thought being honest was the way to go. After all that you dumped me over the phone, on the same day my grandma figure passed away. You said you gave me a second chance. WTF? I didn't even know that a year ago you had such feelings. How is that even fair? I cried my dignity out many times in front of you and yet you couldn't even show some sympathy. You continued to lie to me after our break up. You gave me false hopes that we could be together again. You said we could just take a break. You later revealed you only said it to make me shut up. And now you have a new bf. And you expect me to be just friends with you. Wow.. you are so lucky I am a nice guy who truly loves you. I have taken a lot of **** from you. Now I am going to try to move on so, please don't continue to torture me. Link to post Share on other sites
PhoenixFromTheFlames Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 I dreamed of you last night, as I do virtually every night. I'm working through my emotions, but it's taking time. I dreamed that we were fishing, i'm sure you understand the symbolism of that. The thing I have failed to realise is that you let me go. While I feel sick at the thought of you with someone else, the thought of me with someone else doesn't bother you at all. You probably want me to meet someone else, so you can stop feeling guilty. You've not led me on since, you've not said one day, you've not said anything. You don't want me. Link to post Share on other sites
Orionz Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Today was a ****ty day for me. Bad weather and everything. I wished i could hug you and have your support again. I really want to share with you all that has happened in my life and i want to listen to your happenings as well. I hope you are happy today. Link to post Share on other sites
Graduate Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Hey you, I miss you. I can't stop thinking about you and don't understand why we can't be together. Do you miss me too? Why are not you calling me, what are you doing right now? Do you feel lonely and sad at night? Do you miss me when you go to the pool or are you staying away from that now? I just wish there was some way for us to be together again. Would it be bad if I called you, would that make it worse? Right now I feel like it would make it much easier to hear your voice and have you say you are thinking about me too. I don't want to move on and forget about you, I just want to turn back time. I wish I had told you how I feel before I left and had not pretended to be cool with the seperation. Is it too late to tell you this now? Why is NC the only way to get over a breakup? When is this stupid 'out of sight-out of mind' thing going to start happening? I have not stopped thinking about you for a second now and it has been 4 days. Miss you, please call me! Link to post Share on other sites
sunshinegirl Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 I don't understand how I can still miss you and forget about who you became when you cheated and left me. I don't understand how I can still care when the truth is that I have been liberated to find someone who really loves me and wouldn't leave me, twice. And to find someone who doesn't bore me, irritate me, and who is capable of caring, warmth, and empathy. The pain of rejection seems to override all of that, and my ego wants a chance to reject you back. Do you ever miss me? Are you ever going to reach out? Link to post Share on other sites
Orionz Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Suddenly, i felt so lonely. I really miss you so much. Memories of our happy times flood my mind. I'm feeling so cold and so lonely. Will you suddenly appear down the street? Can i hug you? Been telling myself to stay strong, but i crumble each time i'm home alone in this empty room. I hope you won't feel this pain and lonliness that i'm feeling now because its really terrible. Link to post Share on other sites
PhoenixFromTheFlames Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Do you want to know how I spent this morning? Researching on the internet how often dumpers come back, how often they come back in similar situations to ours, where your new relationship fits is, how likely a rebound is to survive past 6 months, and lastly both our horosocopes for the rest of the year. Frankly, it would have been far less painful to jab needles in my own eyes than read that lot! There is always hope if you look for it, and I looked, searched and found. Now, I wish I hadn't. Hope has no place in the reality i'm living right now. It hurts me more. It's not fair on either of us for me to still be obsessing over you. I know you don't consciously know that I am, but I think on some level you probably do. So, I have to let you go. I can't do that when I still allow myself to think of you. You may invade my dreams, I can't control those, but the waking hours I can. For now, I have to think you just don't exist, and we didn't exist. It is 'goodbye' because you no longer exist as the person I knew anyway. From tomorrow, your soul is free from the burden of me. Be happy. I love you. Link to post Share on other sites
stolenheart123 Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 I know you dont give a crap about me. I dont know why i still think of you, oh wait yes i do I still love u, while it was so easy for you to move on. I realize now i didnt know i had this strength in me. I didnt believe I could maintain NC for 49 days. Im glad I have, i miss you, the old you, but that is long gone like the love we once shared. I remember during our relationship I had to grow up fast, i acted like an adult even at 20. Im 23 now and your 31 and I still see nothing has changed. I remember you promised to come and live with me so you could help me with my business. Well since you broke that promise i've been working 16 hour days everyday. At least my job keeps me from thinking of you. I remember how I use to tell you to save money, even if it was 5 dollars a week. But no you couldnt do that for me. I remember you getting 300 dollars in bank over draft charges like every month. Who paid it? Me, who paid your rent? me.... Who loved ur daughter more than anything? Me... i got an email today from the bank saying your account was over-drawn. I still see you havent changed. I hope your new love interest can deal with your shi* Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Integrare Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 I went to the cabin with the guys and their wives, it was great being the only single there...not. It really sucked watching them interact with each other, looking at each other like we did, play fighting like we did, etc. It especially sucked because you were supposed to be there. Ever since last Wednesday when we talked, I've been waking up with the horrible stomach ache. I don't understand why you told me how much you loved me and that it would be forever when you probably never had the intent of staying. Ever since we met, I thought we were meant to be and we were soul mates, it sucks being without you. I have to remember that you are having a great time without me though. Enjoying times similar to what we had when we were happy with strangers. The harsh reality hurts, but I need to let go... you have already but much earlier. You were trained to quit, and I was trained to stick it through. It sucks knowing you'll be unhappy/unsatisfied for most of your life, but that is your problem... Enjoy all your mom has to offer you, hopefully you won't pop a kid out from each man you end up with. Link to post Share on other sites
Crazy.S Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Wtf I am so pissed off that you are already with someone else. I don't know why you trying so hard to stop loving me. I never ever did anything terribly wrong. Now your jumping to another relationship. You are just going to mess that up too. I am sure it will, because you haven't changed. I hope you are happy ****ing up people's emotions. It disgusts me to even think that you are doing this. Seriously I woke up this morning almost puking, because my stomach hurts so much. Link to post Share on other sites
Karyyk Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 I wonder if anything you told me was true. It doesn't seem like it now. I refuse to let this control me any longer. I'm moving on. I told you I'd always be there for you, and in some way, I will be, but not how I wanted to be. You took me for granted, you threw me away. You'll regret it one of these days, but that's no longer my concern. I hope one of these days that you learn to work past your fears, otherwise you'll always be controlled by them. You always wondered why people assumed you were happy...that's what you lead them to believe. You're miserable, but you put on a happy face for all to see. I'm the one person that never worked with. I saw the real you and loved you for it. That's what you never understood. Just remember that I didn't desert you...you tossed me. I didn't even get to say good-bye, to give you one last hug. I guess that's how you want it. If I never talk to you again, I do wish you the best. Ultimately, I want you to be happy. I don't see how you can be (you yourself said that to me once, didn't you?), but maybe I don't know you as well as I thought I did. I will always be your friend, whether you choose to remember me as such or not. I'm going to live my life, with or without you. Hopefully I'll find someone I can love and care for, someone who will return it. I don't exactly feel hopeful about that, but as long as there's hope, there's the possibility. I won't be a martyr any longer. You can be that if you choose that route, trapped by your own imagination, but me, I'm going to live, one way or another. The future is upon us...make of it what you will. Marshall Link to post Share on other sites
LikeCharlotte Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 o I'm not one to believe in signs but there is a huge "thing" that has built its web above my desk on the television. I think it is mocking me. I'm putting her outside because I don't need her help. She is wasting her time as there is no food for her in here and you will never be anywhere near this place. -Charlotte Link to post Share on other sites
Orionz Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Will you suddenly appear today? Link to post Share on other sites
FauxVowel Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Hello, I'm sorry I didn't answer. Please come over. That is the only way I can talk to you. I won't be a dick. Too much. Please come over I would like to see you I think. Probably not, but I would do it anyway 'cuz I miss you. Please come over. Link to post Share on other sites
Wonderlandless Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 Today is better...but I still am holding on to hope you'll pull a big surprise and call me for my birthday. Its stupid I want to go to the movie with you next week, and you'll probably find an excuse not to go but...please, for me. Link to post Share on other sites
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