Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[coltsfan1]

Eat a dack you scallywag!!!!!

[beyond]

WTF?????

 

Nearly three weeks NC and then you send me that cryptic text today.

 

I'm not playing those games

[jmjacobs31]

suck it. loser

[Dog Woman]

Despite me going NC with you contact me and make some dramatic announcement that your seriously ill. I'm not that stupid I know you are lying. So I challenged you today for the truth. Whether you are ill or not, I am going NC with you again. All I can say is you are one sick guy in more ways than one and I just don't want to hear your tales of woe ever again.

[fallenheart]

I miss you, you god damn bitch. I wish I could erase you forever from my mind, Eternal Sunshine style....cause even though you were one ****tay gf, I still have fond memories of you. Very fond.

 

But I wish those memories were dead. As dead as your eyes when you told me you didn't love me on my birthday last year.

 

Wish I could just forget the whole bloody affair forever.

 

.................I hate you.

[D'1ThatGotAway]

Loved the way you lied

[Regrets58]

My you are taking some getting over!

I move ever nearer letting you go completely,it has been a slow and

painful process.

On reflection I know we weren't compatible.

You were so outspoken and had to say what came into your head.

I am thin skinned and sensitive,it was a disaster waiting to happen.

Somehow though for a lot of the time we made something good.

You were so shy when we first met.I found it charming,you fiddled

with your handbag and found it hard to make eye contact.

However as you relaxed with me,I saw the true force of your personality.

You were an exciting woman and we had some wonderful times.

The differences began to take their toll and you ended things.

Perhaps you did the right thing,I bear no grudges.

I am starting to feel positive and hopeful for the future.

I will remember you with great affection,it would be nice if you felt the same.

[InAFog]

Now you are starting to feel lonely. Looking for silly reasons to contact me. I wonder if you even realise it, or if you are as big of a liar to yourself as you were to me. But i can plainly see it. You're lonely. The novelty of being a bachelor is wearing off. You have no one to talk to, no one to share things with, no one to understand. Soooo selfish. Still all you want is to talk about is yourself. Attention monger. But guess what? The novelty of heartbreak, of losing you and everything we had and shared, is wearing off of me. I'm beginning to feel hope, and excitement about a future that you are not a part of. I am beginning to be okay that we are not and never will be. Your reaching out and lonliness has come too late. And I know that I am lucky for it. I don't wish you ill. (most of the time) I hope to be able to care about your pathetic self sometime. You look like such a loser to me now. I hope you will be happy with all your sh*t-stain, dirtbag friends. It's them you chose. It's them you have to go to now to talk with. That is not my part anymore. I hope you realise what you've given up, what you tossed aside. But still, thank you, it really does make me feel better that you are doing worse.

[kourix]

sometimes i wish i could show you how much we've affected me. just for you to be able to read about my feelings etc, not having to know if was my feelings, just a random paragraph about a stranger, i wonder if you'd be touched by such a story, think to yourself, wow, this person really loved him, i can feel it through her words.

 

i don't know how i'm coping. too much... it's all too much...

[SeattleBabe]

How ya doin?

 

Any good?

[CopingGal]

So I heard you moved back to town. You've been seen with a man. Is he your gay lover? I hate you. I've come so far in my recovery, and now I have to deal with you all over again. Did you drag your son all the way back in town again? Your relationships are so pathetic, most of them lasting for a few months. Are you going to run back to you previous town crying again with your son? HOw many times are you going to drag your son out of school, put him into another school then drag him out of school again and put him put into the original school, while you move around to be close to the pathetic boyfriends or girlfriends you lie to? Gosh, how dysfunctional can you get? Everytime I think you have sunk as low as you possibly can, you manage to sink even lower. THANK GOODNESS I LEFT YOU!

[El Dudarino]

V,

 

You broke me. Completely. I have wanted desperately to love someone since you but I can no longer open myself to anyone for fear of being hurt. I wish I could have some kind of closure with you but to the best of my knowledge you're gone now. And I know it's better that way. Would you apologize to me if we could somehow meet? I want so badly to know what you did. I want to know what to do to work through it. How could someone hurt another person as much as you hurt me? I know I was a fool, but I would have done anything for you. Why can't I be angry with you? I should hate you, shouldn't I?

 

You hurt me. On purpose. For fun, or whatever your reasons were. I know I'm the fool that threw myself at you. I made myself vulnerable to someone I barely knew. Now I feel like I can't ever know anyone well enough to be vulnerable again. Any time someone I trust even a little bit lets me down it's like you breaking me all over again. Would you laugh at me now? Would it make you smile to see just how much you can hurt another person? Is there anything about you that was worth what I gave you?

 

I can't help it. I always make excuses for what you did. I tell myself you were young, you were confused, you were hurting, you were discovering the power you had over men and were not exercising any restraint. Anything to keep from blaming you. After everything I still give you the benefit of doubt, no matter how far I have to stretch to give it to you. I wish I could stop. I wish I knew what was going on in your head then. I wish I knew for sure so I could just hate you already.

[MyHeartTakesOver]

Happy birthday bastard.

 

I hope today is really special for you. I hope today that it hits you in the stomache what you've done. I hope today is the day that you look at the emptiness around you and know, I mean know, that they don't have in them what I have in me and I hope you know that when that feeling hits I would rather die than even see you again. I hope you know that I'm so far out of your legaue and what your capable of giving. I hope you know that I would never, could never, go back to someone who violated our love like you did. Who poisoned it beyond hope of repair.

 

So yeah, Happy Birthday.

[Dog Woman]

I take back what I accused you of lying to me about your illness. Things are starting to fall into place while you have been hinting we should stop seeing eachother earlier in the year. You knew you were ill. I realise you are being genuine and you are just a very frightened, confused guy at the moment. I don't think the reality of the devastating news you were given has hit you yet but I am glad we agreed that it would be best for both of us to take a break from eachother. I respect your request for space while you work things out. It would be wrong to even consider us getting together while you are dealing with a serious illness. You are very vulnerable at the moment. I admire your very positive attitude - it will see you through the bad times. We have eachothers contact numbers if we want to contact eachother in a few months time. Even though our relationship has had its ups and downs, you are are one of the best things to happen to me. Whatever happens in your life, I will always love you and just wish things could be different. I was looking at my brother's wedding photos tonight and there were a couple of me, I wish I could let you see them.

[BigBear]

M,

 

It's been about a month since I have written to you here. I found this other thread in the Separation and Divorce forum and my god it fits you to a T. The parts I have bolded are especially meaningful.

 

=============================================

 

Spousal abandonment syndrome

But, to the person above who said "anger and resentment = waste of time", you have no clue what you are talking about. If you don't go through these phases the negative emotions will come out later in an undesired fashion. The emotions of loss must be processed. People who short cut or suppress these feelings often end up having the pent up emotions come out against others they should care about.

 

For all of us who have experienced SAS (Spouse Abandonment Syndrome) recognize that "abandonment" is actually classified as one of the most emotionally abusive actions a person can inflict against another. Studies have shown that the amount of emotional trauma that comes from it can actually exceed the emotional trauma of verbal abuse, and is comparable to the emotional trauma of extended physical abuse.

 

Remember, that your partner made a choice to treat you this way. Just like a spouse who chooses to verbally lash out, strike, or otherwise abuse their spouse, they made a choice to find some misgotten inner peace at your expense.

 

There is a really good saying: "It takes two to make a marriage work, but it only takes one to break it." Walking out of marriage is saying you don't want to even try to make it work. And, the person who makes that decision is the one who is responsible for the end of the marriage. All reasons aside. Problem is that the person who walks out (aka. the "leaver") usually does not want to have the stigma of being the one who left/cheated/etc. So, they have to find and put blame on the other party. (the "left")

...

 

You have choices. And, choices have consequences for more than yourself. You can choose to communicate your unhappiness in a marriage in a way that your spouse understands. Or, you can complain that they don't get you, claim that you are trying, and eventually file for a divorce. One is the moral high road, the other is the path of least resistance. Working on marriage is not easy. And, some people just don't get it. So, when the going gets tough, they make a choice to walk.

 

Remember, you (and you alone) are responsible for your own happiness. If you are not happy in marriage, it is rarely your spouse’s fault. It is rarely the marriages fault. It is most likely your fault. I would guess that in 999 of 1000 marriages, the unhappiness is the fault of the individual. If you are unhappy, it is your responsibility to fix the marriage.

 

Studies have shown... Children of divorce account for over 80% of future divorces. Marriages where neither parents ever divorced have less than 20% divorce rates. Divorce seeds future divorce. (even if the children are bore in the subsequent marriage.) 2/3rds of all divorces are filed by woman (most whose reason is they claim to be "unhappy" in their marriage). Over 90% of people who choose not to divorce are happier less than 5 years later. Judge enforced counselling reduced the divorce rate by 1/2. And, the person who files for divorce (the "leaver") has a 70-80% chance of a 2nd divorce, while the left has a 20-30% chance of suffering from a second divorce.

 

If you were left, find solace in the fact that you are being forced to examine yourself. The odds are not in favour of the person who left you. The reason, they don't "get it". They don't realize that the way to have a happy successful marriage is as simple as making the marriage they are in that marriage. People who divorce are often the people who see greener grass in far off pastures. Let them go, and find someone who can commit to a long term relationship.

 

(It's a couple years old but you can find the full thread here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/separation-divorce/235076-spousal-abandonment-syndrome)

 

=============================================

 

That about sums it up you chicken-***** family-destroying quitter. And after all of this you look more miserable than ever, you're fatter than ever, and you're still just as busy as ever (I guess getting rid of me, the house and the commute didn't improve your life any...and maybe if you could be honest with yourself you could see that *I* wasn't the problem in your life). Maybe you are not living an authentic life. I know now you're a chronic liar and you rewrite history to ease your guilty mind.

 

It's getting easier every day getting along without you. I've been with a few women now. Not "been" with sexually so much, but I have grown in confidence with women. I've learned 1) that after all these years I can still attract a woman, and 2) that despite that, I don't "need" to be with a woman. The combination of these two has helped me tremendously in being able to not miss you so much and realize that it's loneliness as much as it is you in particular not being here.

 

But the way you left, and the way you went instantly cold without warning... that hurt. How anyone could seemingly be in love one day and pull the stunt you pulled the next... you would have to have some real, deep-seated psychological problem to pull that off.

 

I will rebuild my life and go on and do my best to teach our son this is not how you treat the people you love and this is not how you deal with problems in your life. You can walk away from people but you can't walk away from your problems. They're going to be in your head forever, b!tch.

[Phanpooh]

I hate my brain, he protect u

i hate my middle finger, he always up for u

i hate myself, becuz i saw how i wasted 2y with u

i hate selfish, what i never have had and what you r full of.

And you know what? Keep crying babe, there was sb want to cry with u. And i hope you could find someone else soon. Peace!

[barese1]

we broke up ages ago now, over 5 months? I had such low days and such phases of getting over you. Today? I can't help but miss you. For some reason tonight I can do nothing but think about you.

 

Since hearing you were with someone else I've not been jealous but tonight I really don't like it. I wish you felt the same but you don't and never will. I'm trying so hard to get over you, and you don't even realise it.

 

I wish I could just see you as you see me

[NoMoreJerks]

I feel used and stupid. I gave you my unconditional love, and in return, you emotionally blackmailed me, pushed my boundaries, tried to control me, and eventually hurt me like no one has ever hurt me before. You pushed me to the brink, turned me into someone my friends couldn't recognize anymore. A shadow of the independent, confident woman that I was. You chose your sexual fantasies (threesome) over a relationship with a woman who was head over heels in love with you. Some priorities! Whatever it is that made you act this way towards me -- whether you're a so-called commitment-phobe or having a mid-life crisis -- I refuse to take the fall for it. I will not let you have any power over me anymore. It is hard, considering how much hold you had over me emotionally, but I will get there. I feel deeply sorry for you, for the fact that you chose to remain the way you are, rather than change into the man I so desperately wanted to believe you were. Your mid-life crisis made you choose the reassurance of being "drooled over" by Thai prostitutes who every night throw themselves at 70-year-old men on the "walking streets" and in the so-called "go-go bars" of Thailand, over the love of a woman who put up with your abuse for so long. I wish you well, but I know that deep down, you will remain the person that I discovered you to be. Oh, by the way, the irony is that you are probably with whores (and in the process of acquiring STDs) in Thailand as I write this, "enjoying" the threesome that you claimed you had always wanted to do, and that you pressured me to do (but failed). I refuse to be your prostitute. If you want a prostitute, don't be so cheap -- if you want one, you gotta pay for one.

Edited September 15, 2012 by NoMoreJerks

[CopingGal]

Today I said to myself, "I'm dying." But no I'm not. I'm living. I'm going to walk with my head up high. I hate the fact that you moved back to town. But I can't assume it was for "her" because your relationships usually don't last long and they are so very dysfunctional. My friend told me he saw a blonde doofist with glasses and a stupid look on his face. I can't believe you came back after you ran away crying like the baby that you are when your old hag of a girlfriend cheated on you.

 

You're such a stupid bastard...in every single way. I live a good like that really counts for something. I try to help people. You manipulate people. I am kind. You are cruel, selfish and dishonest. So how many places have you moved in the past 4 years? Six times, plus bouncing from place to place for over a year. I truly have never met anyone as dysfunctional as you. Are you lying to this landlord too? Have you started shifting money around from bank account to bank account? Are you stealing again? You are a waste of life.

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

I really miss you, why did you end things the way that you did? You could have at least said it was over instead of just ignoring me. I really cared about you and please please just talk to me I can make it be better I promise.

[NoMoreJerks]

All along, you treated me with utter disrespect, and in the end, you didn't even give me the courtesy of a break-up over the phone. Instead, you resorted to dumping me by text messaging, pretty much in line with the fact that you thought text messages -- 99% of which were about your sexual fantasy -- were the most I deserved in this relationship while you were away. "Out of sight, out of mind" indeed. In the end, though, I check-mated you at your own mind-game. You tried keeping me "in line" with your constant threats to break up with me. This was not the first time you've done this, but it was the first time I called your bluff and took back the power in this so-called relationship. I was so distraught at being dumped that I begged you not to dump me, stooped so low as to even promise you to "arrange" a threesome when you came back in October. I can't live with myself now, knowing that I stooped so low just to keep the man who was clearly manipulating me and abusing me. I made the right choice, though, in dumping your ass after you had backed down from your threat to dump me (because you got what you wanted -- a promise to "arrange" a threesome), and doing so the same way that you did -- via text messaging. You deserve no better than that. You acted, almost from that day that I told you I had kissed a girl in the past, like a pimp, trying to get me to have sex with another woman, all for the sake of satisfying your sick, perverted fantasies. Can you get cheaper than that? If it's true that Thai prostitutes cost as much per day as a pint of beer costs in Canada, one would think that you're not as cheap as being unwilling to even spend that amount to realize your so-called life-long fantasy. Instead, you opted to treat your so-called girlfriend with utmost disrespect. I can't tell you how impressed I am that you even had the balls to pull this **** on another human being. I may be inexperienced, and I may have been emotionally attached to you, but I sure as hell am not stupid. It took me some time to see right through you, but now that I have, I can't say I even want to see you again. Get the **** out of my life, and NO, NOT "maybe you see about"!!!

[NoMoreJerks]

My 2nd post to you today. I'm hurting a lot today. I want to tell you I love you, and that I'm sorry for falling asleep before you came to bed on the last night we were together, before you went abroad and then broke up with me. I wish I could experience , for the last time, the nice feeling of lying in bed in your arms, putting my head on your chest and falling asleep, and waking up next to you. I love you so much. Please come back to me. I know that in my previous post I said I didn't want to see you again, ever, but the truth is, I do. I want to see you SO badly. And kiss you and tell you in person how much I love you.

 

This is how I 'm feeling right now :

 

I love you.

[SoConfusedAndInShock]

My 2nd post to you today. I'm hurting a lot today. I want to tell you I love you, and that I'm sorry for falling asleep before you came to bed on the last night we were together, before you went abroad and then broke up with me. I wish I could experience , for the last time, the nice feeling of lying in bed in your arms, putting my head on your chest and falling asleep, and waking up next to you. I love you so much. Please come back to me. I know that in my previous post I said I didn't want to see you again, ever, but the truth is, I do. I want to see you SO badly. And kiss you and tell you in person how much I love you.

 

This is how I 'm feeling right now :

 

I love you.

 

 

awww to sweet

[SoConfusedAndInShock]

why cant i just stop loving you?? why can't i just move on? NC for months and why is my love for you growing? i haven't seen your face, touched your hands, cuddled up to you or everything else we used to do and yet i still cry and want you beyond anything. everyday is day one. how how is it so easy for you not to look back for just one second when i cant even seem to look forward for one bit? you gone like a dead person never to return. and here i am alone praying for you to call or text just a simple hello or something. if this was the other way around, i would never have gone a day without making sure you're ok. i can never do this to you or anyone else i've come to know. how can you be so heartless and go one like i meant nothing at all? i just can't seem to let go. i can't seem to find the meaning to life since that awful night. i miss you a lot. i wish you would just come back...

[InAFog]

I don't know what is going on anymore. For a few days I can feel ok, even good sometimes, about what's happened. But for the last couple days I've been a wreck. I still just can't believe it. We're over. Our life together is over. Do you feel this way ever? Do you ever have these horrible days when you miss us so badly that it seems the pain is driving you totally insane? Or can you really have let it all go? God, I can't stand these feelings. I'm so exhausted.