Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[Coffee20]

hm after all I finally saw you both and yes I am sad, you always wished to see me sad, so now I am, I am a sad person.....although finally I feel no love or likeness towards you, I feel betrayed a lot

I will fight for myself a bit, but next year I will move out....I don't to want meet you, your gf, your friends and family all the time.

[barese1]

I cannot get you out of my head. I miss you still even after so long apart. It seems you have completely forgotten we were together and I mean nothing to you. F*ck you, I hate that I still miss you, I hate that you don't care at all

[Jingle14]

I cannot get you out of my head. I miss you still even after so long apart. It seems you have completely forgotten we were together and I mean nothing to you. F*ck you, I hate that I still miss you, I hate that you don't care at all

 

Barese1 - Hope you don't mind me borrowing your words because they echo mine. I'd also add:

 

I hope one day - in your beige, dull and boring world, the one which you inhabited with your dull ex for years and told me you were so blown away on first sight of me because I was so completely the opposite of, that world that you have scurried back to with the running bitch from your club - you look back and remember the pure and unconditional love that I gave you, me, your 'vision', who you said you loved and adored but you lied to me, constantly, wrote horrible notes about me that I found on your pc, including ones minutes after I had climbed out of your supposedly safe and loving embrace.

 

You are a first class bastard, a coward, pathetic, weak and spineless, you need to grow a pair. I hate that you wear stupid red Converse shoes - you're 43 for Christ's sake, grow up! - and I hate myself for still pining for you 15 long months on. I hate that you replaced me and I hate her, whoever she is this boring running bitch and I pray every week when I know it's running club that you both get flattened by a bus. I wish I had your grave to go and dance on. But what I really want is you back and us happy again as I know I'll never be truly happy until the day I am back in your arms, with your beautiful, warm, dark eyes gazing into mine lovingly - those eyes that were cold as a shark's last time I saw you - but I know that will never happen.

 

Why did you come into my life, turn it upside down and then walk, leaving me with the wreckage. Are you so evil and heartless, do you really have no conscience for what you did? Do you ever think of me, ever - do you remember you came to London to tell me how you had fantasised about me since the first time you ever saw me, that I was your perfect woman? Do you remember getting off your first class train mid way through the journey to head back to London and travel home with me on a slow train that stopped everywhere and took twice as long? Do you remember the texts you sent saying 'I can't believe we're together, it feels so right', and 'I love you', all those emails and texts counting down the time until we were back together - 2 hours, 1 and a half, see you in 20 minutes etc? Or is it just me remembers all that?

 

This running bitch you replaced me with wasn't your fantasy for 3 years, I was. But it is me who climbs into an empty bed every night, and I still can't stretch my legs over to your side of the bed, 15 months on but you are now too busy stretching your legs over this bitch to give me a thought. I am a strong and independent woman - a great catch for anyone, I am constantly told - you are a pathetic coward. So why am I still a wreck over you when I know you are not fit to wipe off my shoe? I want to know what you think of me now, if you really are happy like you told me you are because you never look that happy whenever I see you around - and I hate that you live in my neighbourhood and I bump into you sometimes. You don't look joyous, not like you did when you and I were together and your mum always commented how well you looked. Get out of my head, or get back in my life.

Edited September 26, 2012 by Jingle14

[TDWPcheeze]

Dear Jessica. I miss you so much . I find it a good day when I can fight off the tears. I think about you all the time and I hope you are doing okay. I'm so sorry I broke up with you, I wish I never had. I know you gave me a second chance, and I know i blew it by lying about something so stupid. I love you so much, I would love to bring you flowers right now and see your eyes light up like they used to. I hope the best for you and I still hope one day we can get back together. I love you baby. :'(

[CopingGal]

I know this is random on this forum but I have no other way to ask anyone I am wonder how you can start threads on here and create journals. I am aware I am not aloud to but I want to know how you can become allowed to. I finally can receive and send out messages but I do not know if you have to post so many times.

 

Hi. Some people have actual journals on this site. Some people just start a thread and call it a journal. They put journal in the title, like "CopingGal's Journal." Then They just keep writing in that same thread. Sometimes people respond and comment. Sometimes they don't.

 

To start a thread, click on the title of one of forums like "Coping," "Abuse," etc. Towards the top of the page you will see a button that says "Start a New Thread."

Edited September 27, 2012 by CopingGal

[CopingGal]

This time next year your number will be forgotten. I need one more year I think. One more year to forget your number. One day I will. When you decided to constantly disrespect me, you did yourself in. I was good to you. I was good to you. You desired women who disrespect you and cheat on you. That's your problem. You really are a moron.

[msfreebyme]

Hi. Some people have actual journals on this site. Some people just start a thread and call it a journal. They put journal in the title, like "CopingGal's Journal." Then They just keep writing in that same thread. Sometimes people respond and comment. Sometimes they don't.

 

To start a thread, click on the title of one of forums like "Coping," "Abuse," etc. Towards the top of the page you will see a button that says "Start a New Thread."

 

Awesome! Thank you very much...could not for the life of me figure it all out. =)

Hope all is going well for you.

[msfreebyme]

It's days like this I wonder if you have any true remorse for what you did.

If you do have any true feelings of regret.

[Axolotls]

I don't understand, why did you leave? why won't you speak to me? how can you throw away 11 happy years together! i did everything for you, you were my best friend, my lover, my soul mate and my wife, how could you **** me over like this and act like it's nothing!?

You are so ****ing childish and immature, you're a selfing, attention seeking little girl, how can you say you still love me if you can just rip my heart out like you have and continue to stamp it into the ground!?

I can only be so thankful that we don't have a child, as much as i wish i at least had something to show for my years of dedication to you it would kill me to put a child through this.

[Axolotls]

I want to hate you so ****ing much but every memory of you haunts me every second of every day and night. Is there someone else, at least be honest with me!? have you been sleeping with him? are you waking up right now and is he by your side?

I'm only punishing myself but i can't help it, i'm so gutted, the pain is unbearable and i'm scared and lonely, no matter how much i love you and want you in my life, you don't feel the same and i wish i could carve that into my heart so i can move on and find myself again.

I don't want you to know this because i opened up to you and you rejected me and i don't want you to know i'm still suffering.

Please don't contact me it will only make it worse.

[ace5950]

I hate being this sad

[GoneToCode]

OK, a message to my ex emotional affair:

 

Boy I miss you. I didn't know how to handle someone liking me so much and i made a mess of things.

I think about you every day practically and wish nothing but good things for you. When i write, i include you in some way.

 

I even forgot about my past emotional affair that you helped me with.

 

I'm glad I got to know you in my life, even though nothing could ever come of it. You made me feel like a million bucks and better than I ever have in my life.

 

yeah, i sent you emails. I didnt expect you to answer. i wont look at your pics because its too painful.

 

i'll never forget our nights of texting on that horrible cheap site!

 

Take care, and I hope you worked things out!

 

As you wish

[CopingGal]

Awesome! Thank you very much...could not for the life of me figure it all out. =)

Hope all is going well for you.

 

You are welcome. Thanks for your kind words. I'm better. I always read your posts here. I really feel like I can identify with you. I'm sorry that you have been through so much.

[CopingGal]

Hi L,

 

I yelled at the air when I was in the shower, pretending it was you. Sorry you're sick in the head. One day I will be over everything you did to me. I can do nothing but accept it and go on.

[msfreebyme]

You are welcome. Thanks for your kind words. I'm better. I always read your posts here. I really feel like I can identify with you. I'm sorry that you have been through so much.

 

Thank you for saying that...I look at you posts too for the same reason. I am getting a bit stronger slowly. We both don't deserve what we've been through and for that I am sorry. Btw your post about yelling at your ex in the shower. Had to chuckle...I do the same thing in my car and punch my steering wheel. =)

 

Poor steering wheel.

[msfreebyme]

Now I understand IF you have BPD and crap so fool me the first time into going back with you. So when you (an undeserving guy such as yourself out of so many deserving guys who never get a second chance) get a glorious second chance...you blow it. I am just wrapping my mind around that concept. Is control really that important to you compared to "the one" you so desperately loved and were willing to die for.

 

*Sigh* I wish I didn't still wonder...I want answers from you...but I know if I talk to you all I'll get is manipulative sweet-talking lies. Oh Monster -_-

[CopingGal]

Hi L,

 

I went to a website that talked about how psychopaths have damage to their frontal lobes. Hence the poor impulse control, the lack of conscience too. I also read how psychopaths have a poor sense of smell because that part of the brain is near the part that is responsible for impulse control and having a conscience.

 

(Gannon, 2012, Yahoo News)

Psychopaths Have Poor Sense of Smell, Study Finds - Yahoo! News

 

I wanted to call you up and ask if you have a poor sense of smell, but I did not and I will not.

 

I know you are not a psychopath. You are not even a (full) sociopath, but your sociopathic traits are so strong our former couple's therapist said you have no conscience.

 

I saw some soap opera clips of a man who was a psychopath. He lied so vehelmently, I wondered if this man could actually tell the difference between lies and truth. Although it was just a soap opera, it just got me wondering.

 

I wonder if you can too. I'm not sure that you can. You lie so vigorously...you vigorously insisted you were telling the truth about something, but it was all lies. Did you know the difference? Did you understand?

 

A psychopath kills and does other unspeakable crimes. Sociopaths have the same characteristics as psychopaths (lack of conscience, controlling, lying, manipulative, but impuslse control, etc.), but don't commit unspeakable crimes. They commit lesser crimes and/or go through their lives wreaking havoc and damaging others.

 

I'm glad you're not a psychopath. I'm glad your not a full sociopath, but your still very, very, very sick in the head. I find myself feeling more sorry for you and overall feeling less anger. I'm sorry you are so sick and dysfunctional. I pity you. I pity you.

 

Your symptoms are many: underdevloped conscience, lack of remorse, manipulative, compulsive lying, user, poor impulse control, chaotic lifestyle, cruelty toward others, and more

 

You poor man. You poor, poor man.

[msfreebyme]

So you think I would regret our relationship. To tell you the truth I do not. This is because I have learned something some girls my age never learn until they are older. That just because any man comes into your life and treats you like crap is going to be the only man you will ever get. You also have influenced me to major in Psychology because without you being the messed up character you are I would have never learned to question the human mind. I can also thank you for making me learn to stand up for myself...I am still fully learning that trick but I'll get there. But it's because of you being such a manipulative controlling jerk I have grown a thick skin from all of this hurt and disappointment I have suffered and have started to find me. I believe there is a reason for everything Monster.

 

It only makes me a better,stronger, more compassionate human being in the end....what does this leave you....still a Monster.

[CopingGal]

Today I started to turn a corner. I felt that one day I was going to meet the love of my life. You are gone from my life forever. I so wish I could wave a magic wand and make you a wonderful, kind, compassionate, honest, worthwhile person. But I can't. You're just you and I woudn't wish that on anyone.

 

It's time for me to fly now. See you. Wouldn't want to be you.

[thembones]

**** you Bitch. How can't you want to try anymore? What does that mean? I had a ****ing ring and you walked out of my life, because you listen to everything your ****ing mother says. You say you wanted to marry me and spend your life with me, but you just ****ing bail? Grow up. I said I could never hate you, but I lied. I hate what you have become, you immature bitch. I have seen who you really are and you are NOT the woman I fell in love with. Stay the **** out of my life.

[CopingGal]

You knew you were the love of my life. I had told you more than once that I loved you more than anyone in ever had. And yet you chose to lie to me throughout the entire relationship, look for other women, cheat on me, and throw that woman in my face. If you were so bored or disgusted by me, you should have been man enough to say so instead of whining how you can't see me because you have no money and then driving to MY town and cheating on me a few blocks away from where I live.

 

You told me it was wrong between us from the begining because I didn't trust you. Well let me tell you something, you moron, trust IS EARNED! This stupid old hag trusted you, a COMPLETE stranger, the first time you met. She is a stupid old fool. But that's what you want right? You are NOT trustworthy and YOU know that, yet you want someone to give you complete trust. You are worthless and stupid. My love is precious and will not be spent on a waste of skin like you are. You are the most disgusting thing I ever met.

 

I don't care if you're in the hospital all the time. I'M GLAD YOU ARE. YOU HEAR THAT? I'M GLAD YOU ARE. YOU DESERVE TO BE IN THE HOSPITAL. And DON'T even think about asking me for a kidney or any part of my body, chump, because you won't get it. I hope you suffer, SUFFER for all the pain you caused me and all of the women in your life and the pain you caused your parents when you kicked them out of your life...your poor sick father who was so sick he could not recognize you. You kicked him out of your life because you are a loser. You were born a loser. You live the life of a loser, and you will die a loser. You are the most disgusting thing to walk the earth. You don't deserve any happiness whatsoever. I hope you die a horrible, miserable death. I hope you die. I hope you die. DIE, DIE, DIE, you whore. I hope you DIE!

Edited October 1, 2012 by CopingGal

[thembones]

Okay now that I am in a better frame of mind, Dear Ex:

 

I treated you like a princess for three years. You knew for two months that you were going to leave me, even though we lived together. You let your family make the decision for you and that is not fair to you or me. You allowed me to take you out just as we did in the past and we had a LOT OF FUN. You allowed me to move all of your furniture into your new place, unbeknownst to me that your family was staring at me and wondering why I was there. It's because I loved you and would have given you my last dollar. If I had any idea that you were going to leave me after we moved to different apartments, I would have not stayed in the same building because I got a great deal!

 

I get it, you are young and were in a serious relationship when you were the partying age. Now you are doing that and going all of the places you wanted to go, but I "held you back" from. How do you go from wanting to marry me to not wanting to be with me at all, just a clean break? I realize that it was not me who wasn't ready to be married, it was really you. You said you would have given it all up to marry me, but that turns out to be a falsity too.

 

I know that you will realize your mistake some day and understand that the grass is not always greener. The fact is: when you do come to this realization, I will not be there waiting for you. You hurt me more than you know. I feel like you do not even care for me anymore. I know for a fact that nobody could ever love you as much as I did. I thought you were perfect and I loved every thing about you. I wish it did not have to be like this, but I cannot force someone to do something they do not want to do. Like you said though, it might have been better that it happened now, rather than your "patience" issue when we were already married or had kids.

 

You said you would always love me, but you seem to be forgetting about me just fine. I do honestly want whatever is best for you and that is apparently not me. I understand why you left me but I wish I could have changed it. For god sakes, when you were out making "your" decision(s) that you were going to leave me, I was out buying you a beautiful ring. Funny how things work isn't it? Take care of yourself, I would never wish any harm on you. Although, I might laugh a little if you do something completely stupid.

[CopingGal]

I will pray that you get healthy mentally and physically. That is all I can do. Other than that you are on your own- you and your victims.

[NoMoreJerks]

So we're kinda in limbo-land right now. You said what we had wasn't a break-up, just a "rest". And yet you are pretty much back to your old ways -- not calling when you say you would, not answering the phone when I call... I tried calling you just now, and you didn't pick up. OK, fine. I will write here instead. I miss you. I am upset about the bad news you gave me today, that your business trip has been cancelled and so you will not come visit me for at least another 3 weeks, and even then, you will be here for only one week. This sucks. I don't know what to do. I don't know if I can take this anymore. My head says we should just end it, but my heart says that I love you and I can't bear breaking up with you. I'm not going to try calling you again. The only 2 times I have ever called you, you have not picked up your phone. I am going to go back on NC, until you change your mind, or you clear up your travel schedule with your bosses. I need a break from you and all the intense emotions. I've wasted enough time and energy and tears on this. For the past 5 weeks, which is how long I haven't seen you, I haven't done much, eaten much, etc. I hope you are feeling the same way, but I'm not holding my breath. You said you had a bad day at work because of the news you got, and you said you were going out for a beer. It's been 5 hours. Are you still having beer? Or did you bring someone home with you? Or what? Why can't you just pick up the phone?

[River Rain]

Why don't you Google your name in quotation marks and see what comes up huh? Oh, you didn't think I would find out that ten years ago you were arrested for assault with a deadly weapon while under the influence? You didn't think I'd find out that you harmed someone because you drove into their car while you were drinking and driving? Aah, and I bet you didn't know that they mentioned who the victim was? Your ex-wife? The one you started dating ten years ago, had a baby with and left in February? So it was the Clara Nightingale syndrome for you was it? Or did you hook up with her so she wouldn't press charges? Interesting that is. You can't hide public record, especially if it's reported in the local newspapers and archived on the internet for every one to see you dip sh*t!!!