Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[pickingupthepieces]

M

 

I was SO happy when you said you would really like to get together with me when I had time! It sucks that my schedule is full until Monday.. but I WAS so happy that I get a chance to see you. I don't know what happened you sounded disapointed that you didn't get a chance to see me yesterday, sorry TOTALLY my fault. So NOW whats my problem.. I'm crying not bawling.. just crying and sad. I don't want to be sad. I had to check your FB... WTF.. I mean all this girl wrote was "Sorry I made things difficult for you. lol" Like why does that bother me. I mean I know your not with her... its just I feel horrible and well here the tears come again. I've held everything back.. HELL you think I'm just peachy keen... no idea that this is all tearing me up inside. Well I don't think I can do this anymore... it's time to spill. I have waited weeks to find the right time and I think Monday is going to be it... one way or another I need to get past this uncertianty. We'll see... I can't believe I HAVE to wait until then. Thank God I have the whole night off... THIS SUCKS and man I miss you!

[tealeafbud]

well i know we thought we could separate under good terms and we did for a while. It was great while it lasted until you just had to contact me, then I had to reciprocate, and then you had to include me in your drama, then i got attached, then i got pissed, then you got confused, then we both got angry, then you couldn't let go and had to contact me, then I just had to be there, and now we are both angry and hurting.

 

I knew it was inevitable we'd separate on not so good terms. oh well.

[PhoenixFromTheFlames]

I have a gut feeling that will not go away. Despite the reality of the situation, there is a part of me that feels like you will be back by the end of the year. I don't know why, it's just in my head and refuses to go away no matter what the logic of the situation is.

 

Part of me wants to contact you, to ask for another chance, just so I can be rejected. I think it will help me finally let go. But, my pride gets in the way and I just can't bring myself to do it when I already know the answer. So here I am stuck in limbo. Not really moving forward, but making every effort to make it look that way in the hopes that one day I won't be pretending anymore.

 

Sometimes your miserable but you force yourself to smile, and soon enough the smile is natural and you've forgotten you're miserable. I hope that applies to moving on. One day it won't be an act, it will just 'be'.

[iwish]

8 days babe.. You're fine i know.. Happy as larry, seeing all your new friends.. Drinking, messing around... not even thinking about lil ol me.. ..

 

My day will come when i'm over you.. I hope it's soon...

 

Still love and miss ya though.. despite all the hurt you've caused me...

[LikeCharlotte]

o-

I think I finally have something to say. I'm sorry. I was in a really bad place when we started the relationship because I was trying to finish school and not in a good environment. In fact I was in an awful environment but I had to be there in order to finish. So many bad things were going on at the time and you were the only good thing. School was hard, that awful thing with my work, the illness, the roommates, my car.. I was overwhelmed with difficult things. You know how my life has been an I am accustomed to downplaying difficulty. I'm always acting tougher than I really am.

 

I want to tell you that I'm sorry but I know it means nothing now. I wasn't quite myself and that is probably why all of the choices I made with you and feelings I was having were outside of my normal range and experience. YOU were outside of my range and experience. Last night I was listening to a friend and I realized all of this. At the end... I was just hoping we could hang on until my cloud had passed. Inside I was thinking that I could prove that it wasn't so bad if we could just get through until things were looking better for me. They are now and I see that there were times when everything I had bottled up and my spiraling fear had to be affecting me and us even if I thought it wasn't. I wish I had told you how scared and lost I was. I was not your problem but I never admitted that I knew that my personal problems were affecting us. I was emotional. I had a short fuse. I was not fully myself because of how difficult my life was becoming. I didn't want to put my problems on you. You were always offering me solutions and I've never been comfortable with taking from others. I know I did admit to being a part of issues with other things - between us - but I never let you in on what was really going on with me in my life, not even about my illness and how serious it really was. I think that I wasn't sure I would make it out sometimes and I am prideful. I didn't want to let you know that I felt insecure about everything else in my life at that time. I guess because it has been so long since I was instable in those ways I wanted to pretend it wasn't happening. I didn't want to upset you either. I wanted you to be stronger and work things out with me because I hoped the cloud would be gone when I'd finished school. You couldn't or wouldn't and it made me realize that I made the right choice in holding back.

 

I'm sorry. I put you in a position that you couldn't possibly have maintained. You were the only good thing in my life and that was probably a lot of pressure even if it wasn't on the surface. The worst part is that now that I am out from under the cloud I see that if I wasn't in such a bad place I probably wouldn't have chosen you or given us a chance at all. I feel terrible about that. I'm glad I had the opportunity to know you but I am sorry to report that at this moment I think being with you was a choice I made because I was in such a bad place and not because I was choosing you. You turned out to be pretty great. Again, I'm so sorry.

 

Thank you for caring for me when I thought I had been drugged, for helping me move all that stuff, for keeping my spirits up a million times, for understanding about ***** and his feelings, for trying as long as you did, for going outside of your experience for me as well, for pushing yourself to accept me and my past, for trying to understand the traumas, for being interested enough in me to read books- listen to new things and most of all try new foods, for complimenting me all the time, always coming to my place because of my terrible situation, and for being the right person at the wrong time. I hope you get past whatever is holding you back and making you withdraw. Nothing I am saying absolves you for your part but I hope it lets you know that I am not always right and I did appreciate you. I was never trying to get anything from you or manipulate you. I'll have to finish this later

-Charlotte

P.S. This doesn't change anything. You are still responsible for your part.

 

I don't know if its all there. I may have more. I have no interest in actually saying these things to him. I just wanted them outside of me. It's been lingering incomplete for sometime.

[stolenheart123]

Oh baby baby, i miss you so much. Last night i dreamt of you, and I was happy with you. We got along so great just like how we use to. You had that look in your eyes for me. I saw everything in you, no faults, no wrongs, just purity with me. I miss you baby so much, I hope you are well.

[colourithappy]

I hate you. I hate you because I'm crying over you. And for that, I hate you.

 

You blamed your ****ed upness on this. No, I was the problem. You just did not admit to it did you.

 

You were okay enough to reject me, to meet someone else to let them "be good to you", I was just tossed aside.. Well **** you. You're no man, you're weak.

 

You're weak because that didn't work out so you ****ing contact me. Well **** you again. I hate you. Don't dare try **** me up again. I'm sick of your bull**** games. Get a life..

 

I wish I never met you.

[bill1234]

Hey,

 

You may have been just good friends with him and have told me that you "only realised you like each other" three weeks after we broke up, but f*** you if you want me to believe your intentions weren't already there.

 

And why were you so dumb to put pictures of you and him together just after telling me that, looking very happy, with his arms round you, on your Myspace page, from an occasion that was the week we broke up?

 

I did something that hurt you, and instead of telling me, you set out to get revenge by snaring him just the same way that you set out to get me. Why was I so dumb to fall for you?

 

I see you get texts and emails from him all the time that make you smile, and you go running to see him every time. I know you take days off together. You say you're sorry you hurt me, but you don't care enough to behave differently in front of me.

 

What you say to me, and what you actually do, are totally different. You might not even think you're lying - you might believe your own BS. Or you might just be a manipulative b***h.

 

Like a fool I emailed you last week. That was the last contact you'll have.

[PhoenixFromTheFlames]

Today is a good day, I think. The pitt of my stomach depression is gone again, hope it stays gone this time.

 

I'm making my peace with what happened. I have big regrets, things I should have said, things I shouldn't have etc... but I can't do anything about them. I wonder if things would have ended up this way if a few small things over the last few months had been different. I'll never know.

 

But, everything happens for a reason, and although I can't see what good can come of this for me, I'm accepting that we're now on two different paths. Maybe they lead back to eachother, maybe they don't.

 

It's amazing how much of the world reminds me of you. I thought it was signs from the universe telling me not to forget you, but, I now think it's just that we shared so much it's all just coincidental. There will always be a hundred songs that remind me of you, just because radio one is torturing me with them, doesn't mean a thing. I've not let go, but my grip is loosening.

 

I've had a lot of time to think about you and her. I kept hoping it wouldn't work out, and I feel bad for that. My heart wants you to be happy, but my brain just doesn't want it to be with her. I'm working on that.

[carrie3107]

Thank you for giving me a special memory.

 

Waking up with you and bob cuddling me on saturday morning. It was what i always wanted and all i ever needed.

 

If we should never meet again then thats ok hun

 

I will treasure it x x x

[sunshinegirl]

Dear 2005 Ex:

 

That was weird how you showed up in my dream last night. You were comforting and fun...until I realized you were married. Ha. Oh well. It was a nice way to remind me that, well, if I could get over you, I can most certainly get over Eric. You were so much closer to the kind of man I want to spend my life with - you had such better character and our values were much more in sync than me with Eric is. I hate that I still cry over Eric, so thanks, I guess, for reminding me that this, too, shall pass.

[LikeCharlotte]

o-

I think that I said all I had to say except for one thing. Whatever you are or are not feeling there is really no reason to make me unnecessarily uncomfortable. Despite the nice things I've said I regret getting involved with you because of the way you have treated me. You did a lot of really wrong things to me. I think you should be aware of how controlling, sadistic and borderline abusive you are. (I would know) You never had much concern with how your actions affected me. I will give only one example. Do you remember physically hurting me during sex without my consent or even so much as a discussion beforehand and not for weeks after? I told you how I felt about that within hours. You made me wait for weeks before we could discuss it properly. My bruises had finally healed. How do you think that made me feel after all I've been through? I couldn't figure out for weeks weather I'd been abused and raped by you. I rationalized it without your input until we talked. I understand what happened. Even though I fully understand I never felt right about what happened that night. I think you need to get control over yourself before you exert it onto others. I also think you need to know that you are not given the right to control other people. I officially take back any I may have implied by responding like Pavlov's dog to your withdrawal, punishment and pointed coldness. I don't have to accept it or try to understand yet I have. I think that you are trying to control me- with a heavy hand - even now. Cut it out and let me feel comfortable in place I have every right to be. If it is so hard for you maybe you should be the one to go.

-Charlotte

[foxh1234]

Hi, I think it would be better if you stopped contacting me. It is over between us and nothing you do or say will change that. You lied, cheated and f**ked with me for months. All you had to do was tell me you wanted out and I would have been gone from your life. When you called and emailed yesterday it was tough not to respond, but I started thinking why respond ? What could you say to me and what could I say to you. Things are better the way they are. You can go on with your life and leave me alone. I am getting so much better and I will continue to move forward. I don't want to see you or talk to you again. Goodbye

[CailinPig]

What the hell are you at, dude??

 

I know you say you're confused, but holy f**k!!! I'd love to reach inside your brain and find out why you are willingly destryoing not only yourself, but also your girlfriend and me, your ex? Wht has happened to you?

 

You seemed like such a sweet young boy when I met you three and a half years ago... and I suppsoe you were! You were only 17, just out of school, experimenting in college. You told me if you could wish for one thing it would be confidence.

 

Fast forward three years and you have all the confidence in the world, as well as a completely new look, mohawk, tattoo and all!! But where did YOU go? Where is the real you gone? I'm concerned about you, even though I shouldn't bother.

 

You cheated on your girlfreind, hurt your ex and now you're just plain confused. Hun, you have hurt me. But I'm stronger than that and better than that. I still have the dignity to care about you. I still have the strength to worry about you and how your life is going down the wrong path. I don't like to stand back and watch it hurtle down the runway with no direction.

 

The reason is that; you never treated me badly in our relationship, or in the break up. But yes, you have made some bad decisions since. And I can't figure out your motives. Would you really hurt your girlfriend just for the sake of sex?? That doesn't sound like you. You're better than that. Stop hurting others babe. You're only hurting yourself in the long run.

 

Me? I will one day walk away from all this, and I will be with someone new and I will be ok. You? You will have to live with the choices you have made. You are now a cheater. You never thought you would be. You must change.

 

Get away for a few months. Breath. Be by yourself. I know that being by yourself is your worst fear. But it'll help you. You need help, because you are acting the way you never dreamed you would.

 

I love your soul and your personality. I will be there for you when you fall.

[kizik]

I hate you for not loving me but staying with me.

 

I hate you for being happy.

 

If you were not happier without me, you would call. You would say you made a mistake. But you're happier. You should have been happier WITH me.

 

Whoa.. the word 'happy' sounds weird now. That's a weird word.

 

Anyway, remember this conversation. Remember it:

 

"Josh, I just don't know if I can do this anymore."

 

"Well, I think we're good for each other, I mean, and I love you and--"

 

"Yeah... I just don't know if I can do this. It's too hard."

 

"I mean, we should just try to communicate better, you know. It's all about--"

 

"Yeah, I'm just exhausted. I don't think I can do this anymore."

 

Do you know how that feels? To try to convince someone to stay with you? Ha ha. I was so f*ckin pathetic. Just such a dweeb. Such a wuss. Can't believe I gave you that power. That must have felt so great to you, you egotistical f*cking c*nt. All you want in this world is people to control, to put down, to feel better than. All you want in this world is a sense of power. You entitled f*cking wh*re. I cannto believe I played your games.

 

Someone is going to hurt you. You know how I know? It's a simple equation.

 

The next guy you date is going to be the opposite of me. Tall, arrogant, know-it-all. Better-looking. (BTW, I have no idea if I'm good-looking or not. No idea. You stopped complimenting me like a year ago. And no one else in my life has said, "You're handsome." So, thanks for that.) He's going to be well-off, have his own house, and he's going to be handy. We know for a f*cking fact that I can't fix sh*t. My parents never taught me how to do ANYTHING. Stupid f*cking parents.

 

Anyway, he is going to be the kind of confident guy that will not put up with your childish selfish as*. And when you start acting up, b/c you are FIVE YEARS OLD, he will leave you. And you'll be alone. And that's when you'll call me.

 

*

 

I can't WAIT for you to get your heart broken. Did I really email you this:

 

"I wish you nothing but the best."

 

YES! I DID! Well you know what?

 

"I wish you the worst. I wish you pain. I wish you an awful life. You are EVIL. You are a PRETENDER. You are a PHONY C*NT. You are a FAKE. You are a LIE. You LIE to yourself and you LIE to everyone else. YOU ARE NOT HUMAN. YOU ARE SH*T."

[tealeafbud]

dude, i have nothing to say to you.

[kizik]

Things I didn't tell you / hid from you:

 

I got drunk every day for the last year, year and a half. Bought a six-pack and drank it. Or, bought a half-pint of whiskey and drank it. In my room, watching movies. My drinking went way up after you moved across the state. You see, I had quit smoking pot after your pressuring, so of course I was gonna do something to get f*cked up. I have addictive biology, and like I not-so-subtly told you, "That biology doesn't just go away."

 

I stole a bottle of Vicodin from you, from your medicine cabinet, sh*t from your wisdom teeth surgery the year before. At first I stole it pill by pill, then said "f*ck it" and snatched the whole bottle. In the back of the back of the back of my mind, I knew we were gonna break up, and that I better steal the whole bottle while I had my chance.

 

See, I hid my drinking and drug use from you because I didn't trust you. I didn't trust that you wouldn't get mad. I had to hide it. You made me feel shame. I was a nice guy and I had secrets and a secret life. And it has caused me to feel so guilty, for so long.

 

I would like to blame the end of our R on my addictions. But I hid them so well, you never knew about them and it was never a topic of conversation. You knew I had quit smoking pot, and you were "proud of me." Right. You only congratulated me after I brought it up.

 

"So, it's been six months since I smoked weed."

 

"That's awesome, honey!"

 

[End of conversation]

 

I'm actually drinking LESS since we broke up. And as much as you'd have convinced me how terrible it is, how I'm an alcoholic who needs help... I don't feel guilty anymore. I drink about two beers a day right now, maybe three. Sometimes more. Sometimes I get drunk.

 

But I don't feel like I'm betraying you anymore. The truth is that you betrayed me, by judging, by not understanding my addictions. By not caring. By intentionally keeping yourself in the dark. You never really wanted to know, did you R*****.

 

I couldn't come to you. I couldn't call you and say, "Honey, I am drinking too much." You know, I don't ever think I trusted you not to get mad at me. I wasn't able to admit my faults, and that I am human. I hope people read this. They can see a side of me that you never did. To think, that all these strangers could know me better, in some ways, than you ever did.

[PhoenixFromTheFlames]

I log in here automatically most mornings now. I'm not sure why anymore. I'm not looking for advice (there's no situation to be advised about), i'm not looking for hope (there is none). I don't know why I come here anymore. I'm not in a place where I can offer meaningful advice yet, only empathy and sympathy. I think though, that soon I will be able to offer advice and i'm waiting for the day when a post pops up when I feel like I can actually help. I suppose I realise that i'm no longer here because of you. I'm not here looking for a way to get through the day without you. I want to be able to contribute something back to the place that helped me so much, and that's my motivation. I feel like i'm out the other side in many respects. I hope this feeling lasts.

 

I've been writing to you sporadically since we split, in here or in a book at home. Nothing you were ever meant to read, but things I wanted to 'say'. Today though, I couldn't think of anything to say to you at all. It disturbed me a little, a big blank page, and all I got to was 'Dear X'. After 10 minutes of trying to think of something to say, I gave up. I'd even had a dream last night of you with her, and when I woke up, I didn't feel sad, angry or empty. I was pretty numb about it. Maybe this is what indifference feels like.

 

I still love you in many ways, but I'm fine without you. I can see opportunities now, not emptiness. I can even imagine having a new boyfriend! I'm happy, I think. It's been a while, but I think that's what this feeling is. I hope it lasts.

[Crazy.S]

I still love you and I don't think that will ever change. I just want to know one thing. Are you happy now?

[TrustInYourself]

I'm still shocked you want to date other men. I hope they turn out to be exactly what you hoped for. Scratch that, I hope they turn into your worst nightmare. I hope they make your life hell. I hope you come running back to me so I can just laugh at your pathetic face and ask you if you still think dating other men is the answer.

 

I'm sad that I didn't know how to treat you during our marriage. My actions showed a complete lack of love. I'm sorry for that. I have learned that love is work. Love isn't about the way you feel about a person, but the way you treat them.

 

I regret how much we invested into this relationship, only for it to fail. I thought we could make it through anything. I know now that you can't do that. You're too weak and fragile for me. There goes 14 years of my life and I'm only 28.

 

I'm never going to give up hope, because I need hope to survive. I'm no longer hoping that you come to your senses, I'm hoping that I come to my senses.

 

I am willing to let go of our marriage for the sake of your happiness. I hope that I am doing the right thing by you and our daughter. If not, I can not save our marriage alone. This was your decision and I will not beg for you to love me.

 

I'm sorry you are socially handicapped. I'm sorry that I influenced your development in a negative way. I'm sorry that I did not see that you suck at communication. I blame your father and mother. You need to learn how to handle conflict and talk to people. You are pathetic when it comes to meeting new people. The exact opposite of me. Your weakness has infected me and I'm sick of compromising myself for the sake of making you happy.

 

I hope that I grow from this experience. I hope that you grow up and realize that maybe we could have saved our marriage if you actually gave us a chance to work on it together. You sicken me with your ineptitude. I'm saddened when I look at your face.

 

I hate you for giving up. You gave up before you ever spoke a word to me about giving up on us for good. That was immature, unfair, and selfish. If you would have told me how you felt, I would have moved worlds for you. Instead you told me, "I need space". We need space my ass. I had 8 years of space from you before we were together. Space is what you treasure. I chased you for 8 years from across the ocean. I traveled every weekend 800 miles to comfort you and be there for you in your parents house. You complain to me about having to prove your love to me. You are mistaken if you think you are the only one that has given to this marriage.

 

I think you chose separation because you were afraid. Your fears control you and that's sad. If you were brave and strong enough, you'd work on it for the sake of our daughter. Especially when you know how hard I am trying right now to make this work. Instead you choose to be selfish. That's pathetic. I hope our daughter realizes someday, that her mother gave up on our marriage because she decided to be a selfish, immature, self-indulging whore.

 

I will not fear change or the future without you. I will overcome. I will not contact you. I will not show you my emotional state. I will talk to whoever I want whenever I want, where ever I want. I will never give you the satisfaction of complete control again. You believe in fairy tale romances. You are a naive bitch. I hope reality slaps you in the face and I don't plan on being there to pick up the pieces.

[kizik]

Allow me to discuss personal things.

 

1. You're not hot. You're just another vagina. You're incredibly insecure about your body. When you bought that pink Victoria's Secret gown, you barely wanted to show it to me.

 

2. You have small t*ts. I don't mind - never have - but I felt it would be appropriate to mention it b/c you're so insecure about it. Remember when we were 15, and you said, "Does it bother you that I'm small?" I said no, b/c it doesn't. But the fact remains that when I tried to t*tf*ck you (and you mentioned this yourself), there was never anything to f*ck.

 

3. You have hairy arms, and a hairy bush that you should have f*cking trimmed more often. Gross.

 

4. But hey, you swallowed my c*m. Remember in Vanilla Sky when Cameron Diaz says to Tom Cruise, "I swallowed your c*m! That means something!" Well, all it means to me is that you did it for M*** and G****, and you'll do it for the rich lawyer or doctor you're about to blow.

 

Don't worry your pretty face - no one you know will read this and know it's from me about you. You know my nickname though, so I hope you read this and get really pissed. B/c you deserve it.

 

Just a note to say that you're completely replaceable, and if it wasn't for the fact that you have a vagina, I would have been gone years ago.

 

C*nt.

[Wonderlandless]

You were supposed be a fling that meant NOTHING to me. I've dated many guys more awesome than you, and easily left out of their lives.

 

...And you. YOU. You waltz into my life so easily. I was expecting the same song and dance: I'll be into you for a bit, lose interest then slowly fade away.

 

...So why is it a month later I am still miserable without you?

[Crazy.S]

my message is short. you suck

[sunshinegirl]

I hate that you are in my thoughts here in South Africa. I hate that you seem to have blocked me or turned off IM in Gmail. I hate that you haven't, and probably won't, contact me to see if I'm going to the surprise birthday party that we were both invited to. I hate your silence.

 

I should hate your cheating more but I guess I'm still working on that part.

[foolednm]

Allow me to discuss personal things.

 

1. You're not hot. You're just another vagina. You're incredibly insecure about your body.

 

2. You have small t*ts. I don't mind - never have - but I felt it would be appropriate to mention it b/c you're so insecure about it. Remember when we were 15, and you said, "Does it bother you that I'm small?" I said no, b/c it doesn't.

 

3. You have hairy arms, and a hairy bush that you should have f*cking trimmed more often. Gross.

 

4. But hey, you swallowed my c*m. Remember in Vanilla Sky when Cameron Diaz says to Tom Cruise, "I swallowed your c*m! That means something!" Well, all it means to me is that you did it for M*** and G****, and you'll do it for the rich lawyer or doctor you're about to blow.

 

 

Just a note to say that you're completely replaceable, and if it wasn't for the fact that you have a vagina, I would have been gone years ago.

 

C*nt.

 

Dude, this was great!! My ex went and got a boob job, which turned out very nice I must say, however, someone else is getting to enjoy them now, but I had my share of them. She also decided to go totally hairless on everything, she shaved for a while then she went and got laser treatments on her goods, so that all the new guys she's with will enjoy it. I know I did. Then she went and duplicated one of my tattoos on her stomach, so she gets to see it every day now that she dumped me. All her new guys get to see it too. I hope she tells them where it came from and what it means. My ex also turned into a major c*nt, I tried to talk to her a couple of months ago and after every question I asked, her answer was, "that's none of your business", then she finally said "I moved on and my life is none of your business and your life is none of mine", then she proceeds to ask me questions about me and what I am doing and who I am seeing. C*NT!!!!

 

I had a friend that had this saying about women, "if it wasn't for their p*ssy, there would be a bounty on them".

Now before all you ladies start sending hate comments to me, I'm just saying it applies to SOME women, not all!! I happen to love women very much, just some turn out to be major whores and they hurt you and demean you and then they basically just give all the good women a bad rap, just like some as*hole men have ruined it for us good guys.

 

I am trying to get over her, I really am, but I am having such a hard time letting go of her. I miss her, but I don't. I love her, but I hate her. I wish I could move on and find the right, and hopefully, much better woman/human being than what I had.

 

Man, life really sucks sometimes.