Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[CailinPig]

I will be ok. Seriously, I will! I'm fine now, as it is anyway. I realise that you never wanted to hurt me, that you still care about me. You told me you only consider me and Vin to be your actual friends. You're right. I'll be there for you, like I know you'll be there for me.

I met you for a reason. You built my confidence and my esteem and made me feel great. I love you so much as a person. Thanks for everything. You know I only wish you the best of everything, just like you wish me in my life.

Thank you for everything. Spasiba.

[sigh123]

Its been 5 months since i last saw you...

you called me a couple days after my bday, didnt think u would actually remember but i think facebook helped that problem. I was so happy to hear your voice...you wouldnt even know...

but what you did on the last trip...hurt me so much you know? i missed you so much and how you acted..lie you didnt care..what do you expect me to do? And u saying all that bs...and going flirting with other girls...u really like me huh? if u really liked me, would u really be doing all that? so i know u probably never liked me all that much, and everything that u said to me was all bs wasnt it?

 

so i dont get why i cant stop missing you...because the first time that u came around, u swept me off my feet. And i miss that. And i really wish i could see u again 1 last time so i can smack you in the face and shove sth sharp and shiny up ur ass, then rotate.

[sunshinegirl]

I don't even know what to say. You are in my brain all the time. I hate it. I can't concentrate on my client work without you being somewhere in the background.

[nopainnogain]

Im glad you are out of my life . Your sadnees would just bring me down . The more I tried to be captain save a hoe the more you treated me like sheeit.

[sunshinegirl]

You showing up in my dreams every night is not cool. at all.

 

I dreamed about the hooch. I dreamed she was kind of chubby, divorced, with an 8-year old kid. You told me in the dream that you and she just "clicked" somehow in some way that we didn't. Then my friends and I met her... and actually thought she was a nice, if naive person. Totally deluded about you, yet saying you two were going to get married (after only 4 months or something!). I kept asking how well she knew you and she waved it off with "we're perfect for each other". I finally said "well, you should make sure to talk to his ex-wife before you marry him..." I woke up thinking what an idiot she was, and you were.

 

I hate that when I wake up this crap is swirling in my head. I have busy days right now and can't afford to be all caught up internally with you. Can't you just go away?

 

I miss you though.

[Ingenue]

I wish I hated you so getting over you would be that much easier. I wish that I didn't still love you so getting over you would be that much easier. But I still do love you.

[foolednm]

I wish I hated you so getting over you would be that much easier. I wish that I didn't still love you so getting over you would be that much easier. But I still do love you.

 

Okay boys and girls, I need to say something that we all need to consider and think very seriously about. For those of us that have lost our true love to someone else and they appear to be happy or even happier without us, here is something to think about. Do we REALLY want them back? They have "BEEN" with someone else!! They gave away and shared something that was so strong and personal and special to US but it obviously wasn't that meaningful to them since they could just go on and give it to someone else like it is nothing to them. That should be the point of no return for us. I don't want it now that someone else has done their business in there. What I thought was special and meant so much to me and I was so truly in love with her, now means nothing because what she did with me, she is now doing with someone else. She treated what was so special to me like it meant nothing. How can someone be so mean and cruel as to throw away something that they KNOW meant so much to us? Remember that!! THEY hurt US, THEY let US down, THEY know what they did and THEY don't have a problem with it. WE are the suckers for wanting that back in our lives. Just think what other mean and cruel things they could have done to us in the future if we stayed with them. Think about it. Think about the REAL person they are, not the person we fell in love with. They are not the same person.

[tealeafbud]

Ok, we've all used this thread. we've all released some true and sensitive feelings on this thread...

 

but is it really beneficial? I mean, doesn't even the "need" to want to contact your ex kind of set you back a little bit? Even the implication of the idea of telling them some of your true feelings a bit hindering to your well being? I'm not slamming anyone. it was just a thought I had.

 

This thread is basically saying, "Ok, if your ex was right in front of you, what would you say to them.". I personally wouldn't want to see my ex.

[babes23]

Not really as people have different ways of dealing with things, if this helps and we're not contacting the exs then even better.

[Ingenue]

For me, this thread provides an outlet where I can express all of the things that I will never say to my ex. I'm on NC with him and there's some sense of cathartic relief when I post to an anonymous group of individuals about what I'm experiencing and want to say. I know what the reality of the situation is. I am dumped, period. But that doesn't preclude me from experiencing days in which I need somewhere to vent and experience the emotions I need to experience to accept and process that reality. For some it's very easy to say "alrighty, I'm totally over my ex". But for many of us, including myself, I'm not yet ready to declare that.

[extraordinarymachine]

I agree, sometimes group catharsis is good. When negative thoughts and emotions exist, their release often means we can move on to something happier. It's when we convince ourselves we are ok and bottle it up that we never really experience them and never really heal.

 

Just my humble little opinion.

 

as for what i'd say?

 

today i'm feeling brave

 

I'd say... " I am so special and you totally forgot that. I'm so glad I am on my own and free to experience and know people who actually notice that. I'm glad I don't have to fight to make you happy anymore. I'm glad you left because I am finally free. I wish I had seen that I could be happier without you sooner. Don't come back, I don't miss you. You aren't the same person and I have no desire to have you in my life any more."

[foolednm]

today i'm feeling brave

 

I'd say... " I am so special and you totally forgot that. I'm so glad I am on my own and free to experience and know people who actually notice that. I'm glad I don't have to fight to make you happy anymore. I'm glad you left because I am finally free. I wish I had seen that I could be happier without you sooner. Don't come back, I don't miss you. You aren't the same person and I have no desire to have you in my life any more."

 

 

Excellent, excellent quote. I think we should all send that exact quote to our exes, but then again, we definitely should NOT break NC. I have been NC for almost two months now and she isn't thinking twice about me. She has moved on and is totally in love with her new boyfriend. They spend every weekend together and are totally into each other. I am still suffering but getting better. I actually feel I am done with her and am actually feeling a lot of hate and anger at her for what she did to me and at me for how much, and how long, I let her treat me like crap. I'm mad at myself for allowing her to beat me up and take away my self esteem and my own identity. Well, I'm done. I hope you all can get past your exes as well. It is not easy, but once you get there and look back, you will see that you really are much better off without them.

[Crazy.S]

I still love you and miss you. I won't be asking you to come to my graduation. I know it means a lot to you, but I don't think I can handle seeing you yet. I don't want you to misinterpret my NC as I hate you. It is just the only way I can handle this right now. You meant a lot to me and out of no where I was forced to accept that we couldn't be together anymore. I tried hating you , but I couldn't.

One day we can be friends. I will call you on your bday to wish you a happy bday. I am moving on but its going to take a while. Remember you will always be my baby and if you ever need me I will be there for you. I don't go back on my words no matter what.

Do you still think of me? Do you cherish our memories? I don't hate you. Be happy Elise, I only wish the best for you.

[richardcruz]

Hi..its me its been a long time since we've talked and alot has changed since you left me.

I look alot different from the way you remember me. I've done it so you don't have the satisfaction of possibly seeing me and immediately remembering the guy that you left standing in the rain crying on that night.

I believed every word you told me and even though I had just come out of a relationship where my ex at the time had left me for another, I thought I would give it one more chance with you because things felt different with you but ultimately you would hurt me more than anyone ever has. If only I would've been able to see it coming. I completely 100 percent regret meeting you and I wish you had never come into my life. I was better of just being heart broken from my first relationship than having two failing relationships back to back. You told you would never hurt me but you hurt me so bad that it still hurts till this day. I hope your happy that I am a changed person now that is still struggling to find himself months later. I told you that I need you, as I was dealing with depression problems towards the end but you just hung up on me as I cried for you on the phone. Everytime I cried for you, you would just tell me that I was being dramatic and you would hang up on me. The first times you left me I would always take you back the next day when you would come because you were my heart. You left me when I needed you the most despite the fact that I was always there for you when you needed me for anything. I would have given up on of my kidneys for you had you needed one and I would have gladly taken any suffering for you if I could just to see you smile. This is how much you meant to me. But you didn't give a s**t about me.

Well I've have learned to live without my heart now. I don't need you or anybody else. The only person I need is me. Yeah you fu**ed me over but i'll take it as a loss and I'll carry it on my shoulders along with my other ex that fu**ed me over too. And everytime that I'll workout. Ill remember the messed up things you did to me to give me fuel to push myself to my farthest limit. The point of exhaustion where my teeth are clenched and my eyes are closed yet burning with sweat. The point where I have not an ounce left to push with. I will push forward with the heavy burden on my back and the hole in my heart that you have left me with all by myself. All alone. Strngely enough I still miss you, but yet I really hate your fu**ing guts because what you have done to me. I guess I still think of some of the nice times we had and I forget about how messed up you where to me at the end. So guess what.. F**K YOU. I hope you get what you deserve one day. I already got mine, now its time for you to get yours. And just when you think that you have already experienced some kind of karma for what you did to me, guess again. You will truly know deep down inside when karma has kicked you in the ass because you will truly and deeply understand my "dramatic"actions as you so kindly called them when you were acting like a b*tch to me. I take comfort knowing that one day you will feel how I feel. IT WILL HAPPEN.

 

Well it was nice talking to you

 

now please eat sh*t and die so I can piss on your grave....I fu**ing hate you

[Ingenue]

(I know I said I wasn't going to get angry but today I feel a bit of anger. It wasn't triggered by any thoughts of the ex, but by a completely unrelated matter that then bled into angry-ex thoughts. I just want to vent. Pardon the ineloquence that's to follow and I won't be getting angry often, but I really just need to vent)

 

You suck. You suck large. I think at this precise moment, I actually loathe you. Those quirks that I used to find endearing, piss me off. I want to smash every bloody thing you've ever given me, especially that huge art piece you purchased for me. And then after I've smashed it, I want to mail you the broken pieces because you know what I don't really like it. I know you bought it because you liked it and thought I would. But newsflash moron, I don't. It's currently sitting in the back of my closet gathering dust. What would probably give me some measure of satisfaction is recording myself cutting it up with a pair of scissors and then folding the scraps into origami that spells, "you suck!". I want the keys to my apartment back and my books and all the other things I've ever given you through the years. I know that it's a lot of vitriol to spew at you, but you know what? You deserve it! You deserve it for the cowardly spineless way in which you broke up with me. If you were any type of man, you would have done it to my face instead of an email. Everything you've done from the break up email to our final correspondence has been anything but friendly. It's been selfish and deplorable and unforgivable. Why I want to give you the benefit of the doubt and see the good qualities of you is beyond me. You're beyond redemption. I hope when I wake up tomorrow, every memory of you is gone because in all the years we've been together, there wasn't a single good thing about it.

[Karyyk]

I wish I could get over this. Every time I think that I'm getting on with my life, getting over you, something comes up that reminds me of you that tears me down again. I halfway think that you always thought that I'd just forget you and get on with my life, that you didn't mean much to me, maybe that was even your rationale. I don't know. What I do know is that I still miss you, and that the ache from your departure is as strong now as it was then. I wish you were back in my life. I wish you knew how I really felt...

[sunshinegirl]

Amazing! The other day, I stumbled across that picture of us in South Africa - the one where I look really happy and you only have a half-smile on your face, with those empty blue eyes staring into the camera. And you know what? I looked at you and thought - "Huh. Strange. You don't look as cute to me as you used to." I haven't cried over you in awhile - a week or more, I think? And I realized that you are probably terrified to bump into me because it will remind you of your heinousness. There is just no way that you are a deeply happy person - but I am on the road back to deep happiness.

 

I trust that “darkness and upheaval always precede an expansion of consciousness”. (Jung)

[hurting_in_MA]

It has been four months since we went our separate ways. I still think about you all the time. Especially this week. It makes it even worse now that I know you are not completely happy with your decision. I keep trying to move on...I thought for sure some time spent with an old friend would cure me. Here are am....still unable to truly let you go. I wonder sometimes, will I ever?

[sunshinegirl]

Dammit, I hate the two-steps-forward-one-step-back progress of healing. Even if I believe what I wrote two posts above, I am having one of those moments of really missing you and wondering whether you have your daughter this weekend for her birthday, or what. For as crappy a romantic partner as you are, you are still a good father and that's half of what I fell in love with.

[Nevermind]

You're not good enough for me.

[Lookingforward]

You're not good enough for me.

 

exactly - make that from me too

[Elena62]

Hey,

 

It's been the longest eight months I've ever had in my whole life. It's strange, I know you think of me, I know when you're thinking and brooding. Remember what I told you in our last phone call? Please don't brood. And you said "Yes, you really do know me."

 

I'm still going through with what I have to go through in my life - nothing has changed, if anything things have progressed there is such healthy ways.

 

I want to tell you so many things. There are so many days we don't share anymore - and just like your email said a few months ago - I think of you often, so warmly.

 

But what I have realised is this. I've never been in love before - not in ALL my years of living and my very limited amount of relationships. That was, until I met you. I now know what love is - I understand it better having won and lost it. The thought that I'll never see you again sometimes drives me to points of despair. It wasn't just passion, or lust, or sex, or hunger for companionship - far from it. It was a real deep sense of peace and belonging that I felt with you - and I know that I'll never have that again, because I won't allow it.

 

For me, you were it - and if I can't have you then I don't want anything else other than my normal life with my friends and family and other stuff that I do.

 

But what I wish for you is all the things you deeply desire and want for you in your life - all those things we used to talk and talk about: Profound love, happiness, joy with a partner, a planned future, adventure, financial planning, a great retirement - maybe sailing, building a home. I wish you so much joy and love and I'm hoping with all my heart that I brought you some level of joy when we were together in our way.

 

We hold on by one little tiny thread, it's tiny - it's there, and you haven't noticed that I've even cut that from my end. I can't bare to even know whats happening to your days. It's better for me not to know. But why do you still hold on to that final thread out there?

 

Remember, don't brood, live - really live life to the full - get that job that makes you feel alive, remember all those things you wanted to do because God wants us both to live healthy lives and to be happy and decent people.

 

I miss you today, it's just one of those days - I guess I'll get them from time to time.

 

Always

 

Me

[BackonTrack]

I have nothing to say to you but I wonder what your up too.

[Integrare]

I saw you today driving to work on my way back from getting gas but I don't think you saw me. When I saw you, it still hurt. It's been 32 days of no contact, it had been getting better, but today was a set back. It's weird because yesterday, I was feeling down and today I saw you and felt really down. I know you picked your family over me, but it sucks because I thought I could show you the love that you deserved and I thought you would reciprocate. I remember when I flew out to Mass. to help you drive back to live with me. You were skinny as a rail and I could see the ribs on your back. When you told me that your mom told you not to eat the food because it was for the baby (He was five or six at the time) it broke my heart. She had more than enough resources than to have to treat you that way. They took advantage of you over and over again, and I did nothing but love and try to care for you but you still chose to end our engagement and future to go back to that. You said that you moved across the country to escape from her and she followed you, but you chose her anyway. Well, I feel better after writing this. I know that your decision was your decision and coming back isn't an option for you now.

[Integrare]

I had a dream that we were back together again last night. We were shopping and you had a kid in the cart. I asked you "where did you get that from?" You said that you never told me about it and it was mine. You told me "look at his face, it looks just like you." It did, I was happy. I can't believe how much of an impact just seeing your face again would have on me. Yesterday, I said I'd never want you back, today is a different story. I tried to work things out with you and it was your decision to leave. It will have to be your decision to come back. I miss you and I really wish I didn't anymore.