Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[Ariadne]

Oh, Ariadne, I love your letter! Can I use it? It's better than anything I could ever write. I especially loved the bolded part. Aww. :love:

 

Haha... Yeah, I felt a satire was in order for this drama that is getting old.

 

(And you write the best! No matter how long you write, you capture me till the very end. I think you are magical )

 

Ariadne

[daisydo]

R,

 

How did you know the minute I had started moving on? How did you have the wisdom to call me on the second date I have been on after our breakup and somehow KNOW that I was on a date? We live across the country from each other and have no mutual friends so how the hell did you know?!

 

Why did you text me during Lost telling me that you loved me? How did you know I was watching and noticed the inside joke between us that somehow was being played out on screen.

 

Why are you a raging alcoholic? Why did you tell me you want to have my children and marry me when you knew in your heart of hearts what kind of behavior you were capable of?

 

WHY did you cheat on me with some girl who looks like Liza Minelli?!

 

Why the hell did you treat me like you did - make me feel insecure, angry, frustrated, suspicious? You are a tool and I hope you are happy in the bed you have made.

[Trialbyfire]

And I don't think this is true for everyone, either.

 

There's far more chance of it happening, if you do. Of course there will always be one person who doesn't fit the mould.

[empty906]

Hey

 

I was thinking of you a lot today and tonight I was listening through some music that you gave me. I knew it would make things worse but what the hell, huh? Just checking in with you...seeing what's going on at your house.

 

I saw you the other day and have been wondering why you didn't talk with me about that project we are working on. Our eyes meet several times but when I was finished and able to approach you you were already gone. I have had to hire another company now and don't understand why you changed your mind. You haven't given me any reason...

 

This other company sucks and I miss your 'perfect' touch that this project needs. It isn't going to be the same in the end, second best isn't what I was wanting.

 

I was doing good at this whole damn NC thing until now, until tonight. I don't want to avoid each other when we meet pretending there is nothing to say to one another. I am willing to back things off to a simple friendship level where you will feel less pressure but you have found that didn't satisfy your needs. I know that things are tough at your house and I know that my presence only makes it harder. Most of the time I respect your wishes in this area but times like tonight I need to violate the boundaries you have set and hear from you.

 

So what's the deal? Why did you accept this project and then break communication? You knew how important the timing on this was to me. So the next time I see you do I confront you or do I ignore your presence? I miss the hell out of you but leading me on about your plans to help me was kinda sh*ty. I told you you were a confusing woman! And for some reason I am still fascinated by you and I haven't spent close time with you in several months.

 

Oh, well. I vented, got that off my chest and cleared my head. Whew...feeling better now. That is a strong spell...

[loveinlife]

Hi C,

 

i hate you. Stop calling to check up on me. You don't mean anything to my life anymore besides prolonging more delay to me healing. All the things i bought you, you will never see me treat you so nicely again. You have always been selfish and inconsiderate and never thought about how i felt. Good bye!

[Guest]

Dear Mabel,

Ever since we met, I'd never magined we'd ever get together..but we did. I miss how you were so into me.. and how unbelievable it all was.. you were always my sweetheart ever since we were younger and now you loved me!

I miss how you used to love us being together and always wanting to be with me.. no matter what and that we'd go through the future and any potential problems together..

I'll always love you and who you are.. although it cuts so deep that you act as if I no longer matter anymore..

Why babe? Why make it so hard for me? Why promise me the world and give me hope when in the end.. I don't even matter? How did I go from being your baby..your love..your gorgeous.. to just someone????

I wish we could've worked it out but I'll never know whats put this hate into your heart.. How could we go from what we were..to this?? How can you forget everything you felt just like that and expect me to be cool about it..

How can you tell somone you love them so much and yet.. you don't...

Why babe.......

I don't think i'll ever know.. and the worst part is the next time we meet.. I don't even know whether to smile or cry.. of course i'll smile.. and wish you well.. but deep inside.. you n i both know things will never be the same...

I wish i didn't have to miss you so much... i wish i could just forget everything.. but then again... I guess its better to have loved you than never before..

I love you baby... always...

[SweetOlive]

Today was nc day 7 for me... and I blew it.

I have this ex that is just an azz... from what I know he tried to get with 3 girls and no luck. He txt me thursday and I never responded... wohoo... so saturday night 2 more txt msgs... saying crap like "Hey baby I love you... I miss you... I'm so lost without you... I wish we could have been together... I'm nothing and I feel my life will never be happy cuz I caused you pain and suffering... I love you and sorry baby.."... WHY?? Why would he do this to me... my heart stop for a second and I just felt anger and like someone hit me on the stomach unexpected... I did reply with "I gave you a chance and you blew it, so don't come to me with the same old excuse... ".

I just want to tell him so much more but I won't because it doesn't matter...

I feel like such a dope breaking nc... I know I'm not the only one. I see how I can provide advice to others but I can't take my own advice. He will always win... and that hurts...

[Trialbyfire]

*ring, ring*

 

"Hi Hon,

 

You're fading fast. Can't wait until you're invisible. I'm done with being angry at someone who isn't worth the emotion.

 

Anyways, it's time for me to move on and find someone who's far more real than you could ever hope to be, someone who isn't willing to risk something so special, for a few moments of ego gratification. I know you said that you would change over and over again and yes, you did change but it was too little, too late. I can't watch my back for the rest of my life and there's no way I want to be your keeper.

 

I honestly hope you learned something worthwhile from this, that being an incredibly selfish liar for the now, brings you nothing but grief in the future.

 

One last thing. All those good memories. I hope you can remember every detail, 'cause that's all you're going to have of me for the rest of your life. Maybe these memories mean nothing to you but somehow I doubt that, all things considered...

 

Ta, ta...but not only for now."

 

*click*

[2005lexus]

Hey L,

 

You know today was a bit hard for me because just when I thought I was going to get up and have a day without calling you there I am laying in bed not wanting to do anything. I hate you for twisting my heart like this. I guess its my fault because I should be more of a man than to be whining about you like this. I am just sort of sensitive that way. Yes you told me clearly and gave me the signs that we were through and like you said, we should work on being friends. Seeing how easy it is for you to move on with your life kills me. All the thoughts of you and your happy go lucky ways flirting with any man that comes your way makes me sick. Oh its nice you say thats the way you are but come on!!

 

I want to be vindictive and wish you bankrupt for all the money you drag out of me just to leave me like a trick. My lesson well learned. Dont get involved with an emotionally unstable person. Too bad my dick put together with my own underdeveloped love life made me jump into your world like I was on a sinking ship.

 

It stinks. I wish I was like my friend Forrest who just throws a chic on his bike and leaves them on the curb when he is done with them. Life seems so much easier for him. I never see him whine over a chic.

 

I pray one day soon I will have the courage to not pick up your phone calls, not feel bad about ignoring you and honestly put less priority on your needs.

 

I hope you have a good night wherever you may be right now.

[Mollyanna]

 

I pray one day soon I will have the courage to not pick up your phone calls, not feel bad about ignoring you and honestly put less priority on your needs.

 

 

AMEN.

 

Dear D:

Ditto.

[Teacher's Pet]

AMEN.

 

Dear D:

Ditto.

 

You always did have a way with word.

 

xoxo

 

-tp

SB extraordinaire

[SweetOlive]

Helloooo M,

 

So I just want to let your crazy azz know I'm starting NC today. So leave alone. And don't get the pleasure of knowing I'm not over you yet. I will be someday and that will be the day you'll regret. Also there is no agreements on what type of communication you should keep with an ex so go away you idiot.

[darkspace]

I do still love you, we are too different, my feeling matter too. Why do only yours matter? when was the last time you did anything nice for me? towards the end i became empty, everything i did and gave you and getting nothing back for months turned me into some kind of de evolved womble. at least you can carry on doing exactly what you want to do without worrying about me, not that you did. I need time to fix me and start being happy again, and move on to somebody who can be there for me and make me feel special and wanted.

 

Good luck, i will miss you and I still think of all our fantastic memories, I just hope I can have more of them with other people

 

x

[loveinlife]

Hi C,

 

Really miss you. Sleeping here by myself reminds me of those days when you used to come over and i would have someone to hug. I know its not the end for us, as i can tell that you still want to talk to me and still call me to go out. Im sure i fell in love with the wrong person otherwise we would still be in a exclusive relationship. Nevertheless, i miss you dearly. Talk to you next time.

 

Good night!

 

 

--------------------------------------

Maybe one day i will meet someone special like you and fall in love to a person who will love me back the same or more.

[Teacher's Pet]

Dear Poopoo Girl,

 

Thanks for not dropping a log on me.

 

Me.

 

 

-tp

bet y'all didn't think I'd post that! lol

[Mollyanna]

Dear d:

Why can't you just answer your phone and talk? What is wrong with you this week? I thought we were close. Why are you treating me like some little b*tch? Was I wrong about you?? Have I defended you to everyone over and over again just to make a fool out of myself???

[Teacher's Pet]

Dear H,

 

It's been almost 7 years now.

 

Maybe this isn't what you want or need to hear, but I need to say it.

 

I miss you more than you could possibly know.

 

We spent 5 1/2 long years together. I was your first TRUE boyfriend, and even though I was 23 when we met, you were my first true love.

 

Now I'm 35, and looking back, I think you are the ONLY woman I've ever TRULY loved.

 

We had a lot of fun together, but also a lot of problems, I know that.

 

I also know I was far from the perfect boyfriend. I took your love for me for granted more times than you deserved. All those weeknights you wanted to spend time with me and I said I was "too tired" or "too busy" to see you... I don't know why I did that.

 

There was no one else. There was just you. You loved me without question. You took a young, geeky, overweight recent college dropout, and made him the happiest guy in the world. How did I repay you? By being a complete ass.

 

Our weekends together were always amazing, but I think it was my fear of committment that kept me from spending more time with you on other days, even when I had the free time.

 

Every Friday night when I would pick you up after work, you always greeted me with fresh-baked cookies and other goodies in one hand, and an overnight bag stuffed with sexy lingerie in the other. You took such good care of me, and I repaid you with coldness and indifference.

 

I'll never forget our lazy Saturday mornings watching game show reruns together. I'll never forget how you used to giggle at my horrible Regis Philbin impression (it's not much better now, actually). I'll also never forget the fact that you used to TAPE Millionaire so we could watch it together on the weekends.

 

I miss our fun weekend getaways. I miss all those Sunday afternoons at Yankee Stadium. You always looked so goddamned cute in your Derek Jeter jersey. I remember the first game we went to together. You knew NOTHING about baseball, I had to explain everything to you. A few weeks later, you were quoting stats to me. You took my love of the game, and made it yours, too.

 

I miss our Atlantic City trips. You always looked so cute playing the slot machines with the old ladies. But nothing beat the feeling I had when I'd be at the blackjack tables, and you'd be hanging on me like I was some high roller playing for a fortune. For those brief moments, I forgot I was a regular 9-5 schlub playing a $5 table. I'll never forget the night at the Trop when I couldn't sleep so I whispered in your ear that I was going to go down to the casino for a while and gamble, and you "convinced" me to stay in the room. Five or six times, I think. Thinking back, that one particular night was probably the best sex I've ever had. Not because we "went at it" all night "porno style", but because you were so into me. No one I've been with since you has shown me that much "enthusiasm". You loved me, you wanted me, and you made it VERY clear. You don't find that every day, and I haven't found it since.

 

I know it's too late now, but I just want you to know that I NEVER stopped loving you. Even those times you thought I was "brushing you off", I wasn't. You were in my every thought, my every dream, my every fantasy. It was my selfish "masculine pride" that kept me distant from you. I suppose it wouldn't have been "cool" to be seen with my girlfriend 24/7.

 

You know what? If I had it to do all over again, I'd give you all the love you gave me, and so much more. I've dated several women since you, and you know what? None of them came even close to the love you gave me.

 

I still have almost all of the cards you sent me "just because", I even have some of the music tapes of "our songs" you made me. I've NEVER played them, in fact, until I found them in a box recently, I never even noticed what songs were actually on them. That's just another example of how I took your love for granted. In fact, one of the songs on one of the tapes was not any of "our songs", but it has become one of my favorite songs of all time since then, and finding it on one of the tapes you made PROVES to me that you really were "the One". It was my stupidity that blew it.

 

I'm 35 now, and you are 30. We've both grown up in the last 7 years, but I still fondly remember that 23 year old boy in the camoflauge pants showing up at the door of a certain 18yr old girl with the pretty white sweater to take her out on their first date, what seems like centuries ago.

 

I remember you telling me that I had to meet your parents before I could take you out. I was so afraid of meeting your dad, but he was such a great guy once I got to know him. Your mother is a wonderful, caring woman, and even your sister was a sweetheart too.

 

I miss your dogs. I even remember their names. I'll never forget when your father brought home the cocker spaniel and you let me name her... Cocoa. That was OUR baby.

 

And I know my cats miss you. Ren died 2 weeks ago, and it broke my heart, but I still have a picture of you holding her around here somewhere. I feel like that picture represents two loves I've lost.

 

Remember when I got Pikachu? You named her. The first night I had her, she slept between us in my bed. I know it's silly, but I felt like we were a little family. Pikachu is still a sweet, loving, chunky girl, and I'm sure she misses you, too, just no where nearly as much as I do.

 

I'll never forget the day at your pool. I think you know which one I mean.

 

No, silly...not the one where your grandmother was watching from the window while your bathing suit kinda "dissapeared" - smart ass!

 

I mean the day of the storm..... that day was, in some ways, the defining moment of our relationship. We barely survived a deadly storm together. It was our emotions that kept us from getting in your pool, just minutes before the power line was knocked into the water. We were arguing right then, and when we saw what MIGHT have happened to us, we totally forgot what we were fighting about.

 

I just wish another storm passed overhead the day you decided you didn't want to wait for me to finally grow the f*ck up.

 

I guess I just want you to know I have grown up, I'm just sorry that it was 7 years too late for us.

 

I know nothing I can say can turn back time, or make you come back to me, I just want to go on knowing that YOU know that no matter how "distant" I was at times, no matter how I acted or seemed to feel towards you... you were my baby.... my kitten.... my Pretty, Pretty Princess, and nothing EVER changed that.

 

Some guys try to make their girlfriend the center of their world. To me, you WERE the world. I just f*cked up, and I'm sorry.

 

I'm sorry to you for dissapointing you, to your family for hurting you, and to the child we almost had together, because I know somehow, things could have ended differently, if I wasn't such a self-centered a**hole.

 

I just wish you read this website, so you could see the real me. The me that was always there when we were together, but just didn't know how to come out of it's shell.

 

I'm sure one day I'll find another woman to love, but.... it will never be the same as what I had (and could have had FOREVER) with you.

 

I love you. I always have, I always will, and I hope that in time, you forgive me for not being all that you deserved.

 

I miss you. I miss us.

 

Forever your BFM......

 

...me.

 

 

 

-tp

i really don't know what to say here.

[underpants]

TP....mad props and your previous post is my muse in this rant.

 

To my Hose Man.....Where ever you may be.

 

You really loved me, for like 10 years. We had one hell of a rollar coaster ride and I was mostly at the controls, well, not all the time. Who knew a one night stand could last so long???

 

I am so sorry and yet thankful at the same time. You made me grow up, and I never had the chance to tell you that.

 

You were and are to date (unfortunately) my greatest love.

 

You just loved me...and I couldn't handle it (I always thought on some level you find out how ...human I was, but you knew all along). So, what does anyone young in this stiuation do...break up, leave, contimplate/sabotage it, start a vicious cycle/pattern that is just....poopey.

 

The thing is, my sweet Hos'e. We became an excuse not to grow up for that precious time between college and commitment. We both had relationships that spanned years however, we had a bond and could call and talk to each other whenever as if no days passed. At the time it was wonderful. You (and I) depending on avaliabilty, became each other's back burner, transitional person, lean to post, best friend. The downside of this is that because there was always.."us" I never gave 100% in my other relationships, nor did you ...until.

 

You met your wife. Gosh, did I lose it, the thought of losing my security blanket, my will love me no matter what guy. I went a little crazy and persued you like no tommorrow. I remember telling you as we laid under some stars that if you asked her to marry you she would (was that my undoing...No, I had done that years prior). I messed with your head, even said that I would marry you...I even think had I respected the chance I was offered for ...years prior I could have been your wife. Your goodbye letter stated "You were always the girl I wanted, but she is the girl that has proven to be there for me." My sweet Hose Man, you made the right choice. Both in choosing her, and in so nicely telling me to get lost. You made the healty and right choice and made me grow up at the same time. Gosh, I feel blessed to even meet your soul on this trip around the ball. You are a truly honarable soul and I find myself 5 years behind you emotionally.

 

Your were right on when you said a friendship would be a distraction to what you must focus on. I just hope you are happy. Nothing but good thoughts for you my friend, and my teacher.

 

More then any of that nonsence, I sincerely thank you for telling me to exit your life. I never responded to your request (so well put and elegantly right). Basically, we never screwed up (not by cheating or anything like that, but I did screw up by not valuing you when I had the chance, by being ...indecisive for far...way to long). Gosh, I am so sorry I put you through that. I was the jerk, and thank you for kindly calling me on it. A mistake I have not, nor shall I make again. Funny how not having a back up plan makes you focus on your current relationships...everyone together now..duh.

 

The good news is that, ironically by not having you as a crutch so to speak I have had to grow up and gain a little of that awesome integrity you taught me along and along. Gosh, thank you for making me a better person.

 

Your lesson has not been lost on me and, well, here's wishing you all the very best.

 

I hope you are so happy.

 

Love,

Unders

[cocacola]

Hey,

 

You think you can just go do whatever and I'll always be waiting around for you to come back. Hate it for you, when you realize I am gone.

 

Bye!

[randuff]

Hey Babe whats going on?

 

Well I just want you to know how much I love you, even though you cheated on me not once, not twice, hell I don't know how many times!!

 

I forgive you and still want you back though.

 

You make me feel so good when we are together. I know you want to go to counseling and get yourself right, I do too but can't we do this together? I miss you so very much.

 

You know any guy you meet won't treat you 1/2 as well as I did. They will just want you for your sex and thats all! Oh I forgot you like no wait love sex so you probably don't care about that.

 

I guess the age difference thing was a problem after all, I just didn't think so after 4 years together!

 

I still love you and miss you and want you back though.

 

My life sucks right now! I can't do anything but sit here and think about you. I worry about you every minute of the day. Why do I feel this way about you when you were so bad to me? You wondered why I went through your journal after I found out you text S that you wanted to sex him. I can't live with the feeling of insecurities and knowing that you cheated on me. I hate not being able to trust you. I HATE what you did!

 

I really love you, forgive you and want you back though.

 

Will you please please please give me another chance when you get yourself better with the counselor? I don't want you to forget me! I want reassurance that you really truly love(d) me with all your heart despite what you have done to me. Now that you have gone I have a huge void in my heart that I desperately need filled.

 

I miss you, I love you and I really really want you back.

 

Love you babe!

 

R

[Nadine126]

I started a thread about my situation and pollywog suggested that I post this here. It’s a letter I am seriously thinking about sending. Please don’t think I’m crazy for writing something so long… it’s just all the stuff I should have said to him instead of the pathetic begging and kindness that I showed him the last time we talked.

 

Dear C,

 

This is the last time you will ever hear from me; this letter is my way of having closure in a situation where I have no answers. I have been thinking a lot and I shouldn’t have apologized about many of the things that happened in our relationship. I really don't think I did much of anything wrong. After Christmas, you shut down emotionally, put up walls and gave me almost no reassurance. One week you were talking about babies, weddings and meeting my dad and the next there was nothing. In the span of a week or two, you just suddenly stopped telling me that you were excited about our future, that you couldn’t wait to get married, that you wanted me, and that I was everything you ever wanted. When I asked you why you had changed, you insisted that you hadn’t. No wonder I got scared. There is nothing wrong with having needs and you were completely unwilling to meet me halfway for any of mine and you wouldn’t talk to me about what was going on when you pulled away. You wanted things on your terms and you were often unwilling to compromise, and even when you said you were, there was rarely any follow through. You asked me to push you to motivate you to do better at things like exercising, eating well, not being so stubborn and exploring new things, but then when I did push you, you pulled away and shut down. You said you wanted a strong, honest woman who would motivate you to be more open, but I don't think that's true because you got upset any time my opinion differed from yours or any time I called you on your bad behavior or asked you to talk to me, or asked anything of you beyond the little you were giving me. Nothing I ever asked of you was unreasonable and I treated you with great patience, kindness and respect. I was a far better girlfriend than you were boyfriend.

 

You have also not given me any answers, which is just cruel after all of the promises you made to me. How can a man pursue me so passionately and then shut down and later tell me that I felt more than him? You said my feelings moved faster than yours, but YOU were the one talking about eloping, marriage and children; my feelings didn’t move faster, they just kept going forward when yours stopped and you didn’t tell me. I let you dictate the pace of this relationship and you were full speed ahead; it’s not fair that you didn’t tell me that you needed to slow down. My god, you were buying movies for our future children, planning your office for two, asking me about weddings and receptions, promising rings and planning out a scrapbooking area in your basement for me. When you told me I was done looking, I trusted you. You do not say things like “marry me now”, “you’re going to be a great mom”, “this apartment will be your last”, “let’s elope”, “I can’t wait to meet your dad” and “what kind of reception do you want” unless you intend to follow through. I asked you so many times if you were sure and you INSISTED that you were. That’s what hurts the most; your absolute conviction that I was the one for you is what won me over in the first place. I asked you often to be gentle with my heart because of (ex) and you swore that you would, but you were anything but gentle and in the end you did the exact same thing to me that he did. How funny that when I told you what happened with him you said you thought he was an insensitive jerk for what he did to me and that I deserved better.

 

This would be a lot easier on me if you could give me any reason why: I was too much of a feeler for you, I was too honest for you, I didn’t like stupid humor, I teased you about things like your hat and golf club covers, I wasn’t cute enough, I confronted you when you weren’t meeting my needs, anything that could explain to me how you went from wanting a family and future with me to you telling me you couldn’t see yourself spending the rest of your life with me in a matter of weeks. You changed how you acted towards me right after New Years and I wish I knew what the hell went wrong because that’s when our relationship was at its best, after our trip to (hometown). If you got scared or felt pressured, why didn’t you take some space when I asked you if you needed some? You just kept saying that you didn’t know where your head was and that your behavior was because you were stressed out about work and busy with your trip and I always gave you the benefit of the doubt and believed you. I will always hate you for not being honest with me or giving me any answers.

 

My biggest mistake was not leaving you sooner, but I felt sorry for you when you cried and said "I'm not ready to move on from you". I feel stupid now for giving you another chance back then when you wouldn’t give me one when I asked. I thought maybe you would change and I would somehow get the wonderful man that you were at first back. I realize now that man wasn't really you; it was a fantasy you built up to win me over so that you could feel better about yourself after you and M broke up. You let a perfectly good relationship with a very compatible partner die away because of your own laziness, fears and naïve beliefs about what a relationship should entail. Good luck finding someone who lives up to the fantasy you have built up in your mind; someone who won’t have her own ways of doing things, who won’t get upset when you stop caring about her in bed, who won’t want a new start in a home that isn’t filled with memories of other women, who won’t want to spend more time with you than just weekends, who won’t mind giving up her career and being completely dependent on you for 8 years while she raises your children (especially since you are attracted to smart, educated women), who won’t mind giving up all of her furniture because you like yours better, who won’t ask you to step up when you get lazy and who won’t say anything when you don’t get her a gift on her birthday. You don’t want a joining of two lives but someone to give up hers and fit herself into yours. I think that in your mind the perfect girl equates to your perfect fantasy of the future and when someone inevitably turns out to not be perfect, you pull away because you’re worried that your perfect vision of the future won’t happen. The reality is that you will never find the perfect girl. Relationships last because two people are compatible and committed to working at it, not because two people are perfect for each other. No one will be perfect all the time and feelings of passion and love DO come and go; those are the times we just have to work a bit harder. That's what it means to make a commitment to someone. I thought that because of the promises you made, it meant that you were committed to our relationship, which is why I tried so hard to find out what was wrong when you pulled away. The problem with our relationship was that you weren't working at all and I was working way too hard. The least I deserved was a chance to have some “normal” time with you after your trip. You said that in your heart there was no love, but what you didn’t feel in your heart anymore was infatuation and that was because you panicked and started pulling away instead of opening up to the possibility of real love between us. You never gave real love a chance or enough time to grow and I’m so angry that you gave M enough time to see, but not me, even though you told me that I was far more compatible with you and that you liked me a lot better and enjoyed your time with me way more. I am also angry that you contacted her after your breakup, but you have completely shut me out of your life. Why does she get closure but I do not?

 

I feel so stupid for how much effort I put into our relationship. I was always baking you apple crisp, buying you little gifts, doing your dishes, running errands with you, staying up late while you played video games, shopping for your trip, telling you that you were handsome, cleaning with you (when you have a girlfriend, you should clean your toilet every once in a while), shoveling the driveway, making you popcorn, watching you curl, and just generally trying to be supportive, even when I felt you were being thoughtless, or shutting me out. Can you honestly say that you showed me even a fraction of that kind of support? How sad is it that you could have taken 20 seconds to send me an eCard on Valentines Day, which you knew would make me very happy, and instead decided that the more favorable option was to be stubborn and let me be sad. No matter how confused you are feeling, there is no excuse for that kind of ignorant behavior. You are an incredibly selfish and stubborn man. It would have taken so little to make this relationship work and I am so angry that you weren’t even willing to try. You told me that M used to tell you that you were stubborn too; maybe two of us telling you will make you take a good look at yourself. Relationships are about compromise and you will never have a fulfilling one if you don’t learn to compromise and make an effort even when you don’t feel like it, instead of shutting down when things don’t go according to your fantasy. Men feel validated in a relationship when they give, not when they receive. You hardly gave at all in our relationship and therefore rarely got to feel like I admired you. You will never have a happy relationship unless you are working at it and giving too.

 

What I feel worse about is the fact that you used me. You used me to get over M, you used me to feel like you were desirable to someone, and you used me physically even when you didn’t know what you felt about me. I can’t believe how often I (sexual act), especially the day before you left; how often did you ever invest that much time and energy in my pleasure? You also used me to not look like a failure to your family. When you were in Africa, we found out that my mom has cancer and she is now having radiation treatment. I can’t believe I gave up what was likely her last Christmas because you wanted me to meet your family so badly when it was all a total lie. You even used me to get ready for your trip. What a fool I was for wasting all that time shopping and preparing with you; waiting patiently for hours while you tried on clothes and took pictures of shrubs and running to Walmart to get you things you forgot. You just threw me away when you decided you were done. When I asked for another chance when you came back, it was because I was mourning the wonderful man you were at first and all of the promises you made to me about our future; it’s too bad that man wasn’t who you really are. I was excited about our future, but I know now that was a fantasy too and that in reality, you wouldn't have been able to live up to it. You have built up such a facade of perfection, and have led everyone in your life to think that you are such a good guy, but that is far from the truth. You are not a good guy and the other women in your life have been way too easy on you.

 

When I said goodbye to you, I said I respected you, but really I don’t. You were all talk during our relationship, with very little follow through. You said you wanted to be more active, but you never wanted to go to the gym. You said you wanted to eat healthy, but then you ate bad food at work all the time. You said you wanted to marry me, but then were checking your Lavalife profiles well into our relationship and kept saying rude things like you always wondered if you would have met someone different if you said you were from (big city) rather than (suburb), which always made me feel like you were looking for something other than me. You said you wanted to be fairer in bed, but then you just rolled over onto me most nights and left me to finish myself when you inevitably fell asleep on me. You have no idea how many nights I cried myself to sleep wondering why you could stay up all night for poker or video games but couldn’t stay awake long enough to pay attention to me in bed. You bragged about your seduction dinner, but were too lazy to actually make it. You said you wanted to be more adventurous in bed, but nothing new ever happened. You said you would spend time with me during the week instead of just on weekends, spend more time at my place instead of just at yours and just generally be a more normal boyfriend, but there was rarely any follow through. You really were not a very good boyfriend, but I was blinded by your promises of our future and all the things I had ever dreamt of. I understand why you didn’t want to try again: You hardly gave at all in our relationship and because of that you could never be my “knight in shining armor”. Even if I tried to give you a blank slate, I would never have been able to forget your many weaknesses and failures in this relationship and you would have always felt inadequate knowing that I saw you that way. I didn’t get a second chance because of your ego. You are too insecure to be with a woman honest enough to assert herself and call you on your faults and insensitivities. You are too stubborn to be with a woman who will insist on compromise. I know you want a blank slate with someone new, but the way you act, I don’t know that you will ever be able to be any woman’s knight unless you grow up and make some changes.

 

I know that you will focus on my imperfections when you talk about how this relationship ended, just like you did with M. You said you broke up with M because she changed, but are you sure she didn't change because you shut down and pulled away from her too? I think it’s easier to let yourself believe that something was wrong with the women in your life, rather than having to take a good hard look at yourself and how you shut down and put up barriers in a relationship every time a woman inevitably doesn’t live up to your perfect vision. When you shut a woman out after coming on so strongly, of course it makes her emotional and ask more of you; if that’s what pushed you away, you’re in trouble because there are not many women who wouldn’t have responded to you pulling away and shutting them out exactly the same way I did. You didn’t fall in love with me after your initial infatuation because you screwed up so much and felt inadequate and guilty. You not missing me in Africa had a lot more to do with your issues than whether or not I was right for you and that is so unfair. I feel sad for you because I think you are going to have a profoundly unhappy life. Emotionally healthy men don’t make the kinds of promises you did without being willing to follow through. I think you have a lot of issues to work through before you will ever be able to have the kind of fulfilling relationship you say you dream of. I, on the other hand, will be just fine. There is nothing more motivating in life than being pushed away by a man who doesn’t really deserve you in the first place. I hope that as you start to date, you realize what you lost in me. I still think that you are a fool and you will realize it sooner or later. I know I told you that I would leave the door open the last time I talked to you, but now that I have some perspective, I want to be unequivocally clear just in case you have second thoughts when you do start to realize what you lost: you will never have a place in my life ever again. When I last saw you, you said there were lots of guys out there just like you, but that’s not true. There are not many men out there who would do to a woman what you did to me. I would still appreciate some answers, but I know you are likely too emotionally unaware, stubborn and weak to give them to me. I can’t believe you are such a heartless coward that you have cut me off completely without giving me the courtesy of any answers or closure. To me, that speaks volumes about your personality and personal integrity. I deserve to know what happened.

 

For the record, only men that are thoughtful and romantic on a regular basis are allowed to not believe in Valentine’s Day. And since you asked the weekend before you left, YES it is bad that you never did anything romantic for me aside of those first flowers. You said it made you so happy to give them to me and see the expression on my face, and I wonder why you never did it again. I said “I don’t know” when you asked if it was bad because I didn’t want to make you feel bad (again, me trying WAY too hard), but you know, you should feel bad about the lack of effort you put into our relationship. That day I gave you the little Canada book that I made you for your trip, you sat on my bed and cried and said that you were a failure and that I deserved better than you. I tried to support and encourage you when you said it, but you know what? You were right. I should have listened to you then instead of wasting my time trying so hard to have a fantasy that never really existed. That’s the only real thing that I did wrong. I will not waste any more of my time or emotions on you. Goodbye.

[underpants]

I would say ....Don't send that letter. Just don't. Sit on it for a couple of months.

 

Your complete silence and non responsiveness will ring louder and truer then anything you wrote.

[SweetOlive]

Hi M,

Its been 6 days with no contact and I miss you. I love you and I think about you constantly. I know how obsessive you became with me at one point and I accepted you for who you are and how you acted. The funny thing is that I feel empty without you when all I wanted at first was to get you out of my life. I'm sorry for missleading you thinking that I just needed space. I don't, I just know that I gave you my all and you'll never change and I can't take you back ever again. I see you online and I wonder what you're doing, who are you trying to get with. Its sad I know. I just want to tell you that at one point you completed me and now you've destroyed me. Thank you.

[randuff]

Am,

 

Hey I have been doing a lot of thinking in the past 2 and a half days that we haven't spoken to one another. You know what? I think all that I miss is the sex. I can get that elsewhere, we aren't the only freaks in the world. I can't believe you fu**ing cheated on me! I told you from the beginning that if another woman cheated on me like my ex wife I would dump them in a heartbeat. And what do I do? I friggin forgive you and torture myself every weekend you went out with your friends wondering what you were doing. I became unlike myself and became untrusting and nosy, snooping around to find clues to uncover my suspicions. I found them too and what do I do? I call you, yell at you them tell you I love you more than anything and forgive you, once again. Why the f**k did I put myself through all of that crap? And you still told me when we split I was your best friend and couldn't have me NOT in your life. Well the last time I checked best friends didn't lie and decieve one another like you have.

 

F**K YOU F**K YOU F**K YOU

[agnf666]

Disguisting Cheater,

 

Tried to hide that you were going on trip with another woman and telling me you were going out of town on business... you really think that you know how to play your cards. Well, I found out. So, not only did you cheat you lied. No, I can't be friends with you. How do I become friends with someone that would treat me like that. Right now I hate you more then I have hated anyone in my life. You treated me like sh*t. Just because your messed up in the head doesnt mean that you have to go and play with other people's minds.