Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[Zetec]

L,

 

I was sorting through some old stuff today and found a Christmas card you gave me when things were a bit rocky in our relationship of Dec 2013. You wrote me an amazing message on the inside cover - telling me how much you loved me, was grateful that you had met me and was really hopeful we could sort things out.

 

We did, and had a great year together after that. We moved in together, and after overcoming that bad patch I thought we were in it for the long run. I was so happy to have you back.

 

Reading that card again, bought a tear to my eye. You really did love me. Since we split up in January I have had no card/letter this time. You really did stop loving me and was happy to see me go.

 

How life can change in 12 months.

 

I miss you. I miss our friendship. Its been 3 months now and you still have my heart, and occupy my mind every day.

 

I'll never meet another girl like you. I hate how life is making us take separate paths.

 

I love you.

[ourspotofhistory]

It's been a month since we've decided to split but it's just Day 2 of NC for me. May is a new month, so I swear upon every fibre of my being that I will not reach out to you anymore. Unless there's a life-and-death situation of course.

 

I've never realised how keeping in contact with you for the past 3 weeks was keeping me in this stagnant rut. I thought I was moving on since the tears stopped coming as often and I'm revising for exams as much as I should, but who knew that the impact of the break up would hit me yesterday morning like a crown town bus. Who knew I have ****loads to deal with still.

 

Oh well. The fact that you want to remain friends isn't a valid reason for me to fall back on you whenever I feel weak anymore. Just because the lines of communication are wide open it doesn't mean I can use them whenever I want. I don't know why you actually want to befriend me still honestly, but I think it's because you're selfish and you don't wanna lose me completely.

 

Well, guess what? That's not the way I roll. I have never befriended any of my exes before you because - well - I don't see the point! In fact, I'm pretty glad I didn't because it's not easy to transition from a romantic relationship to a platonic friendship. And I don't think exes are worth the effort. Or maybe I'm not selfless (more like reckless, actually) enough to want to do that.

 

Well I hope you're surviving over there. I'm secretly thankful that you're preoccupied (I'd like to believe so) with work so even if my fingers itch for the phone I know better to leave you alone. The last thing I wanna do is come off as needy and clingy and pathetic, and I might as well live up to the reason for our split.

 

Mutual split or not, it's still a split. As much as enticing it is to remain friends, I honestly don't know how to be around you anymore. Not for now, at least.

[Familia]

darkbloom

 

they are beautiful words and so very true. I am so glad you are moving forward to something more beautiful hang in there

 

A,

 

This is the first week I've felt like myself again since the breakup. I feel free. Thank you for leaving me be. As much as I prayed for you to contact me and desperately wanted you to, you are giving me the gift of healing by staying away.

 

Thank you,

 

db

[darkbloom]

darkbloom

 

they are beautiful words and so very true. I am so glad you are moving forward to something more beautiful hang in there

 

I've had the best week since the breakup. I feel like I am who I was pre relationship. I am kinder and filled with my usual joy and excitement for life. I can't believe I lost myself for such a long time.

 

He did me a favor. I celebrate myself and my relationships with those in my life because they are honest and real. I am no longer living a lie with him.

[TunaCat]

I'm feeling good tonight. Saw a pic of the ex & his new girlfriend on a mutual friend's social media. They were at my ex's best friend's wedding. I was expecting a wave of heartache & pain, but there was nothing. No tears, no heartache.

 

I feel better tonight than I have since the breakup.

[Familia]

Tunacat

 

I know exactly how you feel, 7 year relationship and about 8 weeks or so of no contact, and run into the EX with her new Man, mind you of whom is a co worker of hers and she was msging him months before we broke it off and telling me it was work.

 

It killed me to see them together although I feel so much relief now I know its totally over and she is with someone, cheated on me maybe or maybe not but regardless I feel better knowing I have nothing to wait around for now, its over

[Throldur]

L, last night is the last night that I ask and wish for the Universe to bring you back to me. It has been expressed in so many ways, so many times, there is nothing more to beat out of that horse.

 

I'm going to find happiness. You can either hitch yourself onto my brightly burning star while you still can or mire yourself in the darkness you created with your horrendous decisions.

 

The choice is yours.

[RoseHeart]

I don't miss you anymore. I hope you're happy with her and that she gives you as much happiness and love that I know I would have. I have my doubts about you two but at the end you're not my Mr Right and I'm accepting it.

[ourspotofhistory]

I was THIS close to contacting you just now, but I'm thankful I didn't. Sunday nights are horrible because I know you're not having placement during the day and it is more convenient for you to talk. I'm pretty curious about your life lately, especially now you've begun on-call duties. But heck, I know I'm gonna wanna strangle myself tomorrow morning so I'm not breaching NC just to feed my curiosity.

 

I'll be done with exams in less than 3 weeks with only 7 papers left. And this time next week I'd be stressing over the remaining 4 and toughest papers so hopefully those tempting thoughts of breaking NC will torment me less then. I honestly don't know how I managed to do NC on my 2nd ex - until today! I don't remember NC being this difficult back then, and it's not that I deleted his number or anything drastic along those lines; I think the fact that he's a total ass really spurred me forward. You, on the other hand, I just can't learn to hate or despise. Choosing to believe you could have cheated on me in March when we started drifting apart daily will make NC so much easier (and me ****ing angry, of course) (apart from taking a huge toll on my self esteem and magnifying my trust issues), but it will make things a whole lot messier and it will be harder for me to find inner peace amidst this. I guess this is how mutual breakups suck.

 

So is Day 3 successful? Hell yeah! Thank god I didn't cave in and text you just now. If I had done so, I can't imagine how horrible I'm gonna feel tomorrow morning when I open my eyes. I'm making NC more bearable for me by giving myself a deadline: which is after my exams. But will I really contact you then? Meh, I have a feeling I might extend the deadline anyway. If I can go on NC for the next 3 weeks I don't think I'd succumb to temptation so easily anymore. I'm pretty sure I won't.

[TrevorDia]

It's now 2 weeks since I told you it was the end of our friendship. I know the relationship "formally" ended exactly 2 years ago today, but I always thought you'd come back if we stayed friends. Then you strayed from the path. I'm not blaming you or anything, it was entirely your choice to make, I just wish things had worked out a different way. Remember how we were going to move in together in 2015? It seemed so far away back then, but now we may as well be strangers. I very much doubt you remember the date things ended - after all, neither of us remembered the date we started dating. I really miss you, you were my best friend. I know you made some... unconventional choices, but I understood why you did what you did. You're still relatively young (ok, I'm just being kind), and I know what it's like to want to just sleep around - I did the same thing when I was your age. Jeez! That makes me sound so old even though we're only a few months apart. I want to message you. I want to stalk you on Facebook and Instagram - but I removed you from both. I'm mad at you. You led me on for so long - you made it seem like you and me were going to end up back together. You made me think of the life we could have been living together. I mean, even after we broke up, long after we broke up in fact, we were still talking about marrying some time in the future. We were still going to move in together! The break up was really just you and me deciding we needed a bit more space. But in that space you and me strayed too far apart, and now I lost everything. You won though, you got me to keep buying you presents, you got me to write you that statement to get you on your course, I gave you the means and opportunity to get into the country, I've even given you some of my best contacts to get you started on your career as a musician. By the way, don't waste £27,000 on a certificate that says you can sing. You already know you can sing, go out and do it. I'm always going to love you, you know that. And although I want to hate you with every fiber of my being, I can't do it, you mean too much to me, and you're always going to mean a hell of a lot to me. You were my best friend. My soulmate. Anyway, happy anniversary. I hope you're happy and healthy. I love you

 

By the way, I'm not going to make it through today - I'm going to end up messaging you. Maybe God will step in and be my salvation...

[JunzQ]

OK, it seems a few of us have had a rough time with the darned NC. I had fantasies today of unloading all this anger, longing, and "WTF" onto my ex. I am creating this thread as a place for all of us in pain to post instead of contacting Ms/Mr ex. It could actually be kind of fun, at least a release.

 

I had a friend with a terrier dog who used to look out the window and whenever he saw another dog or squirrel or whatever dogs want to kill he would grab the nearest object and shake it furiously, all the while glaring at the object of his hatred, and barking/growling with his mouth full. It was hilarious and poignant, and I have to say, I relate to that pup!

 

What would you like to tell him or her? Even if it's been building up for years, post it here! Rage-fest! Longing-fest! DO NOT CONTACT that frigging ex, put it all here!!

 

I have been no contact wih my ex for 35 days now. I miss her for what ever reason my friends lectured me this weekend to man up. I owed her 800 dollars which I paid back through a mutual friend last week and I got no thankyou back. My friend told me she was about to take me to court for the money if I hadn't paid in time. It's so unfortunate that somebody you care so much about can just turn on you in ways that are unspeakable. I am dissapointed kn her and myself. But there wasn't much I could have done differently her heart was just with another guy. I got drunk on saturday night wrote her a text message and never sent it. Fml I fear sending her a message would show my weakness. Also give me expectations that she should answer. I thought I would be over her by now but gradually it seems like it's eating me away. I ran into her last Monday too, not face to face I just went to the park and there she was in the same parking lot as me. I felt a messed up feeling like I just wanted to leave so bad. But she ended up waiting 2 minutes before driving off herself. Ugh I really wish I can get over her she was just beautiful as hell and her personality one in a 100 and never ever talked to another guy during our relationship to think I couldn't keep this one puts me down and my ego took a huge hit when she went back to the ex boyfriend she used to date. I really need to get over here I've spent a lot of time on this site every time I think about her and it is a lot.

[Throldur]

L,

 

Say Happy Birthday to Silas for me. That beautiful tuxedo cat who used to snuggle up to me all the time, lick my face and follow me around the apartment. I miss him. Nina does too. I miss you all. Our little family that you were so happy and excited to have, fractured, torn apart by decisions you made and actions I wish I could have changed.

 

I've started to flirt with the other girls. They aren't you. My heart isn't fully in it because I simply don't believe I should have to do this. We should still be together. We would be so close to being engaged right now. It kills me inside knowing how close we were when it all fell apart. I blame you sometimes, I blame myself a whole lot more.

 

I'm worried that I am going to get involved with someone and then you are going to come back after realizing your mistake. I don't know how I would handle that situation but I can't even allow it to sabotage me. You're gone, you did things that aren't OK, things I shouldn't forgive you for.. but still, love is a stupid, amazing thing. There's no guarantees I'll ever hear from you again and I guess if I do move on and you come crawling back, that's the bed you made.

[Zetec]

I keep myself busy, with things to do.

 

But when I stop, I think of you.

[anduina]

Today was the first day I thought about you again. I'm not mad any more and wish you well. We weren't meant to be.

 

But I suspect you're still mad at me for not answering your calls and texts. It was too little too late.

[Throldur]

L,

 

I heard about your frustration. You're close to Toronto, so many concerts you want to attend, Ed Sheeran being the biggest one and you aren't going. You have no one to go with. I guess he isn't delivering what he promised you? I told you. I warned you. He was only saying what he needed to get you out there and then he knew once you were there, you'd be trapped, he'd be the only thing you would have and he would not have to actually deliver on all those promises. You gave everything up. He's a horrible person and I warned you. His friends you might like but they're not your friends. He's not going to let you have any friends that aren't his. That's how manipulators work.

 

If you were here, still with me, we could have gone to see him in Montreal together. It would have been cheap, easy, we would be living together, you'd still have a good job, your own place, our place, and we wouldn't be long for getting engaged. We would have had so many great days together. We would have so many more memories and we'd be making the biggest one of all. Sharing the concert with your favorite artist with the guy who loves you more than anything in this world. I know you're starting to think about how you made a mistake, what you're missing out on, how the grass isn't greener, how you had everything you could possibly need, took it for granted, listened to the wrong influences and now you have nothing. It's sad, I love you, but you made this choice and you didn't listen to me. I only had the best things in mind for you.. maybe I didn't show it the best, there's a lot I need to improve upon, lessons to learn, I have learned them, I'm thankful for them and now you are learning yours. Maybe I will see you again, love you in my arms again, if you abandon this silly mission soon and reach out to me.

 

I know you're going to try to hold out until September but what is going to change? He's not going to go. You still won't have any true friends out there to experience it with. You know the one person in the world who went to see any concert with you. That was me. Remember Matchbox 20? That was such a great night. We held hands, looked in our eyes, sang along with the songs.. they replied to your tweet. It was a magical night. You aren't going to have that. I'm glad I decided not to see Ed Sheeran alone. There's still the chance we can see him together for the first time. You just have to swallow your pride, admit your mistake, reach out to me and we will figure it all out.

[Throldur]

****, I miss you. I wish I could shake this feeling that we will find a way to reunite because I think its unhealthy for me. I don't know, I just feel like things will work out for us somehow..

[TunaCat]

It seems like just yesterday we were talking about our future together. You told me you couldn't wait to ask my mom for permission to marry me. The whole asking for permission thing wasn't important to me, but it was important to you and I had no qualms about you asking her.

 

I'm so, SO angry at you tonight. Instead of talking things out with me like you should have, you dumped me out of the blue.

 

And you had the nerve to say "maybe we'll get back together."

 

I mean, REALLY????

 

If you really wanted to be with me and no one else (like you claimed over and over) you would have never dumped me.

 

Go to hell, ass-face

[Gwwm123]

J

 

Today I have been feeling good, but you are on the background, I had fun playing soccer, but you will never see me doing so. Today I had lunch, but you will never share that moment with me, I practiced on my guitar, but you will never hear me trying hard so one day I can compose a song for you. I am going out with friends tonight, but you will never make me company once again.

 

In the end you are my other half, the one that will complete my happiness, but you are gone. I am left to wander as the half man I will always me. You are irreplaceable, you are my opiate, the extra effort I put into everything I do.

 

I love you, and I miss you dearly

[darkbloom]

A,

 

It must be something in the air tonight. I was slowly forgetting you. It's been easier than it's ever been to let you go. Today it feels like you are trying to communicate with me by sending me thoughts. I can still feel you there, maybe a fingertips distance away. I was looking for something today and a note fell out. One we used to pass back and forth with each other. The note wasn't about anything special but it's been hidden away since 2011. Why did it reappear today? What are you trying to tell me? I've been reading your note trying to decipher its hidden meaning all night.

 

I can handle it if you never come back. That's a bitter pill to swallow but I'll take it. I cannot handle if you decide to reappear in my life. My anger is evaporating and leading into uncertainty. Maybe you can feel me wavering on hatred and forgiveness. You always knew what I was thinking without me saying anything.

 

How do you do that? You know it's not going to be easy for me to find someone new. The chaos in my head only ever stopped for you.

[RoseHeart]

T,

 

I miss you a lot, just saying. You have been on my mind a few times today and I'm just thinking how it's been one whole month since we last spoke. I honestly thought I might have seen you by now or bumped into you. I thought you'd maybe text me or something silly. I guess each day I am forced to deal with the fact that we're definitely over and not going to be together again. That kinda just breaks me a lot right now.

[fireflywy]

A,

 

I miss you so much today even though I shouldn't. I cant help but think that you've changed for the new person in the ways I always hoped you would. Even though it has been three months I still get anxiety thinking I'll see you in a public place. I've come so far in trying to move on but today, as the snow falls, I'm here with a tear in my eye. I hate you for how you treated me.

[Throldur]

L.

 

I really shouldnt be thinking of you anymore. I know that positive things have happened toward the one thing I want when I started working on myself, stopped thinking of you so much, and kept you frozen in time. This new information, that I didn't want to know, has given me some hope but I don't want to get too tempted by it and lose the progress that has been happening while I've turned a blind eye and powered forward.

 

I just... wanna hear from you, I wanna talk with you, I wanna know that on some level you still think of me, that the What If plays on your mind and that somewhere in that tortured head of yours that you are thinking of giving us another shot.

 

I need a sign.. I need something from the Universe telling me what to do in the mean time. I know youre my soulmate, I know we're meant to be, there's just lessons that had to be learned along the way. I think I've learned all of mine and I can't rush you learning yours.

 

Tomorrow is Mothers Day. I know you'll be missing home. I know she will make you feel bad for your choice to move away. If you had stayed we could have been visiting and celebrating with her. You made the wrong choice, let's fix this.

 

I miss you and I still love you. I want nothing more than reconciliation and to repair the damage we've done.

[darkbloom]

A,

 

I do not understand why you did what you did. It was cruel and unnecessary to treat me like that. I am having really unhelpful thoughts about how if you hadn't done what you did we would still be able to work it out. I know that that is probably not true. I can't make the thoughts go away though.

 

I miss you so f-cking much today. I have been doing better recently and feeling really good. Yesterday and today were brutal though.

 

I just want to cut out the part of my brain out that contains memories of you. I am willing to give them up in exchange to not think about you anymore. I am starting to think that it would have been better if I had never met you. Yesterday was 5 months exactly that we broke up. We are quickly approaching 5 months of NC. That's 150 days of silence and no apologies from you.

 

I want the last 4 years of my life back.

[SLee]

H,

 

I miss you, even though I'm angry at you. I thought about all the fun times we had today, on accident, and I became really sad.

 

I was doing well. I felt that I would be just fine without you.

 

Then today I missed you.

 

I hope in time you realize what you've done and how you've hurt the people around you, instead of just thinking about yourself.

 

It's stupid of me and I get frustrated at myself for it, but I want you to come back.

 

The holidays are going to be hard this year.

[stopping]

I do not give you an initial because no human being would inflict the mental games that you did. When you implored me to not give up on you, I believed you were serious. For the last month you strung me along with not only words of marriage but concrete plans. All of it was just a sham to keep me on the back burner for a few more months in a waiting game to see if you could get something better.

 

I walk away from this...we can not be friends because I was not a human but just an object in the end. Good fortune to you because even if I hold onto bitterness, I allow you to benefit. A void is all that you are and time will heal the hole that is there.