Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[Speirling]

G,

 

After 2 months of breadcrumbs and mixed messages from you, and denial and blind hope from me, you cried like a baby when you realised I had finally got the memo and was moving out last week. You were angry and distraught that I wasn't going to be your friend because you still loved me and wanted to keep the door open, and just liked me as a person.

 

I leave, and after 6 days of NC I am wondering about you constantly still. You promised you'd call if you changed your mind, I'm not surprised you haven't but I am surprised that you've kept NC. You were always the one who needed the constant contact. Is it out of respect? Are you absolutely fine and happy? The messages on the house group seemed to imply you expected that I may be back. I'm really proud I didn't reply, but now I feel like there's a third option- you don't think I'm really gone.

 

I miss you and I want to know if you're ok. But the irony is I'm glad I don't. And I'm glad you don't know about me either. I can't get rid of the hope yet, but I know if I keep going with this long enough I will stop believing in what we had, and what I still have.

 

I may run into you tomorrow. I don't want to. Please don't try to engage with me if we cross paths: it will be awful for me and will cost you nothing.

 

I hope you're ok, and looking after yourself. I hope you haven't forgotten me already.

 

I love you.

S

[BriNyc82]

R

 

I am seeing the light. I can't remember any of the good times we had. I don't remember what that happy butterfly feeling even felt like. All of the happy times we shared are overshadowed by how this all went down. You may have pushed me away but I know you will be no better off. You will still be a miserable person inside stuck with all your anxiety and fears. Unable to ever really face your demons and be honest with yourself. Living in denial chock full of excuses is so much easier. Letting me go was easier than dealing with your issues. You will find another girl and suck her in just like you did to me but you still will be unhappy. You will never be a real man and accept responsibility for anything. your communication quite frankly sux and you're so obsessed sith maintaining this nice guy image. Grow a set and be who you are. No one likes a pushover. It's not cute being the 32 year old guy who's still scared to be in a relationship.

 

I have so much to give someone and I wasted so much energy trying to please you when you already had one foot out the door. I pity you and feel sad for you mostly bc as hurt as I am I know it's temporary. You will never get help and keep running forever. Crappy things happen in life and if you can't deal with reality you are in for a rude awakening.

[Speirling]

Brin- this resonated.

 

There's a second heartbreak in understanding that unrealised potential is nothing but empty hope and that if it's not realised in good time then there's a lack of substance. I hope I'm not presumptuous in assuming that you feel similarly, but either way, what you wrote hit a chord with me

 

I'll say to you what I'm trying to believe myself - I am a mess now, but I am self aware. And as "fine" as he is now, I wouldn't switch places with him. It may bite him in the ass at some point, it may not. But being blind to your issues means you'll never address them, and if he's blind to them he'll be unfulfilled. If he's not blind, but not bothered to change, then really and truly, we deserve better. At the very least, this pain I feel and the wreckage that is my life will teach me something. I will learn from this. He may not. It doesn't really matter if he does. I (with hindsight) stayed too long. But I will never, ever have to consider that I lost a good thing because I didn't try hard enough. Speaking for myself I regret the things I didn't do more than those I did. And I tried, maybe too hard ( it sounds like you did too).

 

Neither of us can change their willingness to deal with their own issues. We have to deal with the fallout, yes, but I really believe that if they were more scared of dealing with their issues than losing us then all the love we have to give is better saved for someone who realises what a special gift they've been given, and feels inspired to keep it.

 

Brin- apologies if you see this and this is not how you feel. I came here for an additional rant and perhaps I projected too much of my own stuff onto your post. If any of what I've said makes sense to you - please keep strong. I'm trying to as well.

[BriNyc82]

Speirling- No need to apologize to me at all! Glad something resonated. I think we are all just trying to relate, share our experiences and hopefully gain some positive insight. Project all you want!!!

 

I read some of your threads. With respects to the NC and your ex not being a fan of it, he doesn't get to keep certain parts of you and not others. Seems kind of selfish to me to remain friends. Or at least too early. I also can relate to your job promotion and I'm glad you are doing that for yourself. My ex was a very crucial person in helping me get my promotion. He was my cheerleader and he helped me interview and had so much faith in me. 3 days after our split I got offered the job and i didn't even care about it. I felt numb b/c I didn't have him to share it with or celebrate and I almost didn't take it b/c I was just so unmotivated. Of course I did take it but I realized I had to start living for me. I look back and think maybe thats why he came into my life. To help me get this promotion.

 

It's funny you say that about not regretting about trying bc I told my ex that exact thing. I dont' regret putting myself out there b/c I know I laid out there on the line and he wasn't scared to lose me. I want to be with someone who is scared to lose me. One of my weaknesses is that I am too honest and trusting. Honest to a fault I guess you could say but I lay my head on my pillow every night knowing that I am true to myself and that's all I can ask for. I don't know how people can play mind games and hurt others. I think one of the reasons my ex is so angry at me is that I called him out on BS , made him feel bad for hurting me and he's not ready to face any of it. Not my problem anymore

 

And I agree, save your love and energy for the people who want to accept and reciprocate. And most importantly appreciate it.

 

Stay strong!

[Speirling]

Hi G,

 

I had an ok day today. That's the best so far. Even good in parts. I read some stuff about GIGS and quarter life crises, and it sounds like you should have a little read yourself...

 

If that's what happened, I hope you find what you're looking for, and I wish you luck.

 

There's some stuff in there about reconciliation- I wish I hadn't read those bits. I don't want to wait for you to come round, even subconsciously. I felt more like myself today than I have in a while. I want more of that please. I want to wait in many ways, but I can't do that to myself. If you need to find yourself, go, do it, I truly hope you find what you need (most of the time ). I need to get back to myself too. Somewhere I believe that if it had been right between us, you would have been able to find yourself with me, and I could have retained who I am. I also believe in what was between us. You said you dreaded coming back and finding I had moved on. The only way we could reconcile is if we both truly move on, and let what is meant to be, be. In order to move on, I need to let you go. I'm sorry. And I wish I'd understood sooner.

 

Today I felt that this is a positive thing for both of us, as awful as it is now. I really want to tell you that. We both ARE going to be ok. I'm looking forward to more days like these. I just want to tell you this.

 

You have a lot of growing up to do (as patronising as that sounds) and that's absolutely fair enough. If we were meant to be you could have done it with me.

 

I miss you.

Edited July 10, 2015 by Speirling
Typo

[Familia]

I have just deleted this msg from my phone so I didn't send it.

 

I just found a photo album full of pictures of us during the first 1-2 two years of our 8 year relationship, wow we did not have a care in the world and so much love in those pictures it's crazy.

 

I will always love you Anni

[Throldur]

L,

 

This is the last night I am allowing myself to think and wish for you. It's the last time I will right about you in this type of forum. You may find a way to persist through me when I write poetry or prose. I can't stop the profound influence you've had on me and my life, but I can stop expending energy thinking and wish for you to come back.

 

I can still remember the first time I saw you. I sat in the back of the class, like I always do when starting a new course, and I would look across the room to see the pretty girls who occupied the class. You caught my eyes right away. Dark hair, those thick-rimmed glasses, a beautiful smile and this care-free laughter that carried through the classroom. I remember you said the animal you would be is a cat, I knew immediately that you would exactly the type of girl I would be interested in. I was pleasantly surprised when you showed up in the another class of mine that same semester. You sat near me, we would talk about non-sense. I loved your laugh and you always found my inappropriate sense of humor absolutely hysterical. I never thought you really liked me until the day you asked me to drive you home, which I was going to ask you to do, you always managed to get the jump on when it comes to the things that I wanted to do.

 

Standing outside of your apartment, texting you to come let me in, will always be my favorite memory in the world. I loved being greeted by your beauty when you opened that back door. I could stare at your curves when you walked the stairs up ahead of me. I was so nervous that first date because we didn't explicitly say it was a date, though I knew you liked me from the questions you would ask and the things you would say. Still, I texted my friend J and told her, don't let me leave here without attempting a kiss because I knew how afraid I was of being rejected by you. Our date was nothing exceptional, watching Weeds, having a laugh, walking to get McDonalds when they failed to have the Hello Kitty happy meal that I wanted to get for you. I met your best friend that day and got along with your cat which I knew I would.

 

The day was getting late, watching Weeds, your friend texted you and you blushed, threw your phone and began to laugh nervously. I knew, just instinctively that she had asked if we had kissed yet. I knew this was my opportunity. So I put my hand gently on your beautiful face, you were nervous too, and I finally got you to look at me. I gave you our first kiss and it was beautiful. You wanted it back. I just knew that kiss was going to be the start of something amazing.

 

L, you were the best thing to have ever happened to me. I experienced everything I could have ever wanted to experience with a woman with you. Other than engagement, marriage and kids, which I know we would have been on track to do had you not left for all the wrong reasons. People don't understand why it is so hard to move on from you. Yes, there's more girls out there, there's more fish in the sea and there may be someone better for me. You just were everything to me. Your beauty was something to behold. Your laughter, your heart, your soul, when you allowed it to come through, was so intoxicating. I loved how you enjoyed my company, how much you loved me, how you would cuddle against me at all moments. You just loved being in my presence, near me. To enjoy me. You are a part of my heart and a part of my soul. Your absence affects my greatly because it seems like you've always been a part of me, even in the days before I met you and now the days after you've gone. A piece of me is now missing since you've been gone. Every day that I wake up and go to bed without hearing from you is a pure and utter failure. I hate that there's a little spark of hope for me everytime I open my FaceBook or check my phone looking for a text message. I can't keep doing that to myself anymore.

 

You have your reasons for leaving. I'll never understand them. I know the mistakes I made and while I feel that none were big enough to cause you to leave, they were all the reasons you apparently needed. I was mad, I'm mad at myself, but there's nothing I can do now. No matter how many times I go over it in my head, I can't change what was said or done. I can't figure out a way to bring you pack. No matter how many times I whisper at the Moon, speak to the stars, scream at the sky, leak bits of you from my eyes. No matter how many times I pray, wish, close my eyes and envision you to try to talk to you. No matter how many times I attempt to impart a thought to you from the power of my brain, through some astral projection or through a dream.. it hasn't worked and I don't know if it ever will.

 

All I can do is take refuge and solace in the fact that I know we are soulmates. I know that I loved you more than any one has or ever will. I know on a fundamental level, if we dusted your heart for fingerprints, we would only find mine. I know that on some level you think of me. I know wherever you are, that spark comes to mind where you wonder if you made the wrong choice. Maybe some lonely nights, when you're all by yourself, you wrestle with the thought of reaching out to me. I do know that it hasn't been strong enough yet to compel you to try. I still wish and pray that one day it will. Maybe one day you'll have that realization that I am just as much a part of you and your future as you are a part of me and mine. I struggle so many days with wanting to check up on you, wanting to reach out to you but I've found enough peace within myself to know that any reconciliation thoughts have to first be brought forward by you.

 

No matter how many men you meet. You won't find one with the love for you that I have. That's the truth. You'll never find a man who compliments you the way that I did. This is written in stone. It's imprinted in our DNA. You just need to find some clarity to figure it out. No job, no amount of money, no pets, no man, no amount of concerts, or day trips or experiences is ever going to compare to the first time we kissed. None of those experiences will ever be able to burn as brightly as our eyes did when they looked into the depths of each others souls. Tattood on your back is the line from your favorite song "Lights will guide you home." They will. I am your home. Just allow the lights to guide you.

 

You were the one for me. I am the one for you. This is where you belong. So, I leave you with this. A song that we said was ours.. a song that got us both through the most difficult part of our relationship..

 

"Love, you are my shelter..

and love, love you are my home..

 

Seventeen days with no breath at all,

you fall off a ledge and your world dissolves

no one listens to the sounds you make,

and no one listens to you when you say,

save me from pain..

 

Love, love you are my shelter..

and love, love you are my home..

One day, one day I will be safe..

but, for now, love, you are my shelter..

 

Diving like a crane into

rapid water I've been in the deep

Four years without you

Cause no one listens to the sounds I make

and no one listens I'm blue in the face

 

Save me from pain

 

Love, love you are my shelter and

love, love you are my home

And one day, one day I will be safe

but for now love you are my Shelter

 

Nowhere feels like somewhere

when I'm in your arms

 

Love, love you are my shelter and

love, love you are my home

And one day, one day I will be safe

but for now love you are my Shelter

 

Love, love, love, love, love...

 

Nowhere feels like somewhere

when I'm in your arms."

[StrangerThanFiction]

I miss you today. I hate you for it. But I hate myself more for it. You hit me, you cheated on me, you lied to me, and you stole from me but here I am missing you. What do I miss? I don't even know! I can't put my finger on exactly what it is I miss about you! Maybe I miss having someone in my life who actually really knew me. Yeah, knew me well enough to know exactly how to play me to get what they wanted, but you knew me on a level no one else ever has. Yeah, maybe that's what I miss. That other-level intimacy. I hate you so much for ruining that. Hell, it was probably all one sided anyway too though, right?

 

Sigh.

[NomiMalone]

Hey, how's [city]? Hope it's going great x

[thekarmacist]

i changed my number today. tomorrow, your phone gets shut off. i see no need to continue paying on a phone for someone with whom i'm no longer involved nor on speaking terms. i don't want to know who you're calling. next, i delete you from gmail chat, so that i may not see when you are online.

[Gus Grimly]

S,

 

I Had a dream about you last night. It was very detailed. My mom was there too. You were smiling and I asked why you were here. You told me nothing was wrong and that the break up must have been a dream (ironic?). I was so relieved, but then I asked myself "What if THIS is really the dream?", you laughed and carried on with what you were doing. But I couldn't get the "What if" out of my head, and then I woke, my heart was racing, I was having a panic attack. In the darkness I couldn't believe you were gone from my life. No longer would I have you there to comfort me.

 

I'm sorry If I hurt you. I am stupid. I guess I don't know how to handle my feelings. I just run away like a coward. This relationship has not been divided. You kept giving and all I did was take. I see that now. How blind could I be? How did I not see how I've been treating you. No wonder you got the hell out of there. I've been nothing but a deadbeat and you don't deserve to be stung along for years with no solid hope in site.

 

I can't change your mind. All I can hope is that you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I wasn't strong enough, but you were. I will always love you and cherish the the times we had together. You are the closest thing I've had to a one true love. Thank you for that.

 

I hope you may find happiness soon.

 

B

[finalendeavor]

C, why? Why did you drop me like a piece of **** after I spent $450 to come visit you? Why did you turn your back on me after driving me far away to meet all of your family?

 

Why did you give up on me, even though I was your supposed dream girl? Why did you leave even though you thought I was "a ****ing beautiful human being"?

 

I'm hurt, because you couldn't even legitimately end it. You ended it by saying "dunno. i'm just not feelin' it", over text. You got cold feet, and you couldn't even talk about it, you just left without another peep, only for your best friend to tell me a week later that "it's definitely over for good".

 

You were going to live with me, and got scared, so you couldn't even honor any kind of a relationship at all, you couldn't handle the distance. Why did I get so much less of your time and effort, even though you told me your feelings for me were something you'd never felt for anyone before, even though you maintained a relationship for double the time with a girl that lived triple the distance away from you? How could you go from talking about whether or not I wanted to live in an apartment or a duplex, to ending it two days later?

 

Maybe I'm an egotistical little narcissist, but you will regret this. You will regret it, because you will be hard pressed to find another that was so similar to you. Good luck finding another female that games with you, listens to the same music, is willing to support you and inspire you to be a better person, goes to the gym. Good luck finding someone as confident, ambitious, good in bed, and determined as I am. Good luck finding a girl that your friends and family don't hate, because god knows you know how to pick em'.

 

 

I hope my "haunting olive eyes", "black mermaid hair" that you imagined your "dream girl" to have, and "most sensual body you'd ever seen" haunt you for the rest of your life. I hope you compare every girl, every future encounter to me. I hope you lay awake at night thinking about the girl you lost, that best friend you lost. Remember? You told me that I was your best friend, that you have me to thank for so many good things in your life, that you have me to thank for listening to deep, personal problems that you couldn't discuss with any of your other childhood "best friends". I hope you're happy with the fact that you impulsively dumped me like that.

 

Have fun with those hatefully insecure, small minded girls you seem so frequently interested in.

 

You can say and do whatever you want, but at the end of the day, I remember making you cum like a little bitch. I remember the first time, you thought I was so attractive mentally and physically, you drove an hour away because you had to have me. You literally came in thirty seconds, and then a second time in another thirty seconds, no time in between. I remember the look of helplessness in your eyes when I was played footsies with you under the table, wearing my black stiletto heels and my short little black dress. The way you grumbled, "please stop", like you couldn't handle it.

 

Have a nice life, you ****ing *******.

[Throldur]

C, why? Why did you drop me like a piece of **** after I spent $450 to come visit you? Why did you turn your back on me after driving me far away to meet all of your family?

 

Why did you give up on me, even though I was your supposed dream girl? Why did you leave even though you thought I was "a ****ing beautiful human being"?

 

I'm hurt, because you couldn't even legitimately end it. You ended it by saying "dunno. i'm just not feelin' it", over text. You got cold feet, and you couldn't even talk about it, you just left without another peep, only for your best friend to tell me a week later that "it's definitely over for good".

 

You were going to live with me, and got scared, so you couldn't even honor any kind of a relationship at all, you couldn't handle the distance. Why did I get so much less of your time and effort, even though you told me your feelings for me were something you'd never felt for anyone before, even though you maintained a relationship for double the time with a girl that lived triple the distance away from you? How could you go from talking about whether or not I wanted to live in an apartment or a duplex, to ending it two days later?

 

Maybe I'm an egotistical little narcissist, but you will regret this. You will regret it, because you will be hard pressed to find another that was so similar to you. Good luck finding another female that games with you, listens to the same music, is willing to support you and inspire you to be a better person, goes to the gym. Good luck finding someone as confident, ambitious, good in bed, and determined as I am. Good luck finding a girl that your friends and family don't hate, because god knows you know how to pick em'.

 

 

I hope my "haunting olive eyes", "black mermaid hair" that you imagined your "dream girl" to have, and "most sensual body you'd ever seen" haunt you for the rest of your life. I hope you compare every girl, every future encounter to me. I hope you lay awake at night thinking about the girl you lost, that best friend you lost. Remember? You told me that I was your best friend, that you have me to thank for so many good things in your life, that you have me to thank for listening to deep, personal problems that you couldn't discuss with any of your other childhood "best friends". I hope you're happy with the fact that you impulsively dumped me like that.

 

Have fun with those hatefully insecure, small minded girls you seem so frequently interested in.

 

You can say and do whatever you want, but at the end of the day, I remember making you cum like a little bitch. I remember the first time, you thought I was so attractive mentally and physically, you drove an hour away because you had to have me. You literally came in thirty seconds, and then a second time in another thirty seconds, no time in between. I remember the look of helplessness in your eyes when I was played footsies with you under the table, wearing my black stiletto heels and my short little black dress. The way you grumbled, "please stop", like you couldn't handle it.

 

Have a nice life, you ****ing *******.

 

Lol. You'll be fine. Sounds like this guy is worthless, to be honest. He'll regret it, you won't. You'll have plenty of suitors once you let go of this deadbeat. I suspect you won't be here long.

[finalendeavor]

Lol. You'll be fine. Sounds like this guy is worthless, to be honest. He'll regret it, you won't. You'll have plenty of suitors once you let go of this deadbeat. I suspect you won't be here long.

 

Thanks for the support, I appreciate it. Reading this today is interesting, I sounded so hateful. Hahahaha

 

I know it sounds morbid, but I'm honestly so excited for the day that he realizes he regrets it.

[Reiben17]

N,

 

I will never understand how someone whose so deceiving, who lies probably every 10 minutes to someone,

Can still sound like an angel when U hear them,

Yeah i still have feelings for u,

And yeah i think I'll be crying for u for a very long time still...

But it's obvious i think that you never wanted me as much as i wanted you,

 

You say that you've been meaning to talk to me, for over a year,

Well what the hell was stopping you,

 

I sacrificed as much as I possibly could to be with you,

And you threw it all away in just one impulsive moment.

 

I never wanted anything as bad as i wanted you,

 

And as much as i want right now to talk to u,

To hear you again,

I know all your going to do is lie...

 

I hope every girl you be with,

You realise more and more how nobody can ever love you the way that i did.

 

When life is finally going to start happening to you,

You'll see how i stood by you, accepted you for who were.

And nobody is going to put up the s*** that i did, nobody will stay,

 

You will regret it,

And maybe someday cry into your pillow like i did for months and months,

And I won't be around to wipe your tears then.

 

It's going to be hell,

And i hope you go through it thinking of what you did to me.

 

I have not been able to feel the same way again, ever again,

You took that away from me,

I wish it happens to you too...only worse...

And you wait....

Like i did, day in and day out like i did for me to come back,

But only i never will.

 

God how amazing it would be to hear to beg....

 

I don't know why,

But i feel you will...

Edited July 16, 2015 by Reiben17

[TunaCat]

Damn it C, I miss you.

 

I know you tried to wait as patiently as possible for me to be ready for the next step (moving in together/getting engaged) and I know I was so incredibly selfish for putting it off. I loved you and I should have been more receptive, more accepting of change.

 

But I was utterly terrified. I didn't want the same kind of marriages that my mom had, but I was so scared I was going to repeat them.

 

Of course that wasn't fair to you. I don't blame you for ending the relationship. You deserved better, and I should have treated you better.

 

I'm sorry, I love you and I hope you're happy.

 

A

[Throldur]

Thanks for the support, I appreciate it. Reading this today is interesting, I sounded so hateful. Hahahaha

 

I know it sounds morbid, but I'm honestly so excited for the day that he realizes he regrets it.

 

Yeah, we all are. Thing is, and I'm realizing it too, is you never know how long it is going to take. Maybe he gets into a rebound relationship and has that to distract him for a long time before coming to terms with it. These types of impulsive people tend to not realize/process things until much later.

 

By the looks and sounds of you, plus the fact that you're a female (you'll always have plenty of suitors, though I understand they are not always attractive suitors), once you let go of your "morbid desire" or your "dislike" of him. You will be the one who comes to the realization that you regret actually investing anything into this guy. That type of guy? Dime a dozen. Find a man with depth.

 

By the time he realizes and regrets, you'll be long gone. You won't even care about him. He'll just be that guy you make fun of to your girlfriends because he couldn't last in bed for longer than a blink of an eye.

[casey.lives]

you left. that said it all.. bye

[finalendeavor]

C,

 

Thought I was doing really good, thought I was feeling really confident in the fact that I knew you'd regret what you lost.

 

But I have to say, there's not a single thing that can alleviate the pain that comes from the thought of you doing every sweet thing you did for me for another girl.

 

I remember before I visited, when you were trying to sell me on the state you lived in, you wanted me to move there so badly. I remember our Skype dates, when you showed me around Denver over Skype for hours. You told me you wanted me to apply to colleges out there. I really thought you meant all of it.

 

I remember how you woke me up with breakfast every morning I stayed with you. How you'd get up for work, get ready, and then crawl back in bed to cuddle with me until the last second you had to leave. The way you'd hug me and kiss me on the forehead, like you never wanted to let me go.

 

I remember the first time I hugged you, in the airport. That electric chemistry. The flowers you brought me. I remember all the games you bought me too, the games that I won't be able to play for months because they'll remind me of you. I remember the first time I kissed you too, the way you pulled back and told me how much you loved my kisses.

 

I remember when you'd come home for lunch, the way we'd just quietly sit there after we were done eating, holding hands and looking each other in the eyes. The eye contact we made so frequently. In the gym when I hurt my hands, and you just held them in yours, rubbing them, looking into my soul. I remember that evening when I was sitting in your lap, facing you; you did the same thing.

 

I miss hearing about how your day was going.

 

 

I hate that, one day, you'll be doing all of these things for another girl.

 

Why did you have to ruin everything? God.

Edited July 16, 2015 by finalendeavor

[StrangerThanFiction]

I wanted to unblock you on my phone when I woke up. Not to reach out to you myself, but to see if you'd reach out to me. Then I started thinking with my brain instead of my poor bruised heart. Say I did unblock you, and say you never once try to contact me. How would I feel then? Pretty damn sh*tty because it would nail in that you don't care and I would lose all respect for myself for being weak. On the other hand, say I unblocked you and you did reach out to me. What could I possibly hope to gain from that? At best, breadcrumbs or you trying to find out if I've moved on. At worst, to share the joy of your impending marriage to the chick you left me for. Oh, and she's pregnant? With your magical unicorn baby? How wonderful that would be for you guys! Thank you so much for filling me in on how great your life is with the woman you cheated on me with!

 

There's a third possibility as well. You'd want to get back together. I can see a few reasons for this one but none of them has anything to do with you wanting to be with me. Things with the chick you left me for didn't work out and you're too scared to be alone--you want me back till you can find someone else. You are flat broke and have nowhere to go--you want me back so you can live at my place for free until you can get back on your feet and, once again, find someone else. Those were the first two major reasons that popped into my head but there are more and none of them have anything to do with being with me and all to do with what you can get out of me.

 

Whatever.

 

So basically what I'm getting at here is that, yeah, I thought about unblocking you but I couldn't find one good single reason to do so and a whole lot of really good ones not to.

[drade]

S,

 

Never posted her before. It's eight oclock on a Friday night. I am working the weekend, 26 hours once again. I have forced myself to work weekends, it helps to ease the pain.

 

It's going to be sunny, you most likely will be with your friends going out and having a great time in the night life. It's been 17 days of no contact, over a month since our breakup. I am struggling every day, but managing to stay sane, and improve, respect, and love myself like I did before we met.

 

I hurt you, I forced a girl to dump me due to that one action of betrayal. Infidelity? No, even though for two weeks you said it was, i've never and would never physically cheat. However, I did emotionally betray you, something I've never done to a female. You were great to me, always there, so funny, we had such chemistry, we clicked, we knew everyone in our town. I'll never forget the day you dumped me and told me that you were going to finally gain the courage and tell me you love me. And you ended up doing so, in the car when we met up a week after, and you kissed me, teased me, let me breakdown and cry lil a little pussy bitch.

 

I tried to be friends for that month, but I was and still am quite in love with you, it ended up becoming to much for me to bear, and I pushed you further away. You punished me like a dog, you teased me sexually on the phone, called me names and talk about me to your best friend, who has become my other ex, she cheated on me! She cheated on YOU with your ex boyfriend years back! And you had sex with her! So you tell her alll about our issues, it took you two months to tell her we were a thing. You know how I feel about her, I have forgiven her, but she made my life a living hell, and yours too!

 

I'm no cheater, I'll never cheat. I betrayed your trust, something you have 0% and have had for men, and sadly that is something I couldn't provide, that 110%. However, after all the begging, pleading, mind games with eachother, drama everything, I was infinite percent on what I said: I will do anything, and everything, to work on this relationship. I love you, I made a horrible mistake, but i'm willing to invest my life into saving our relationship. We had such chemistry, we both have never experienced that, and we have dated a lot of people. For such a sex addict, I am the first guy to give you a, yeah... Doesn't make sense, for such a dirty little past you had, which never phased or bothered me. People learn and grow.

 

 

Your out there living your life, as you should be. You have the ability to suppress me, and live that monotone lifestyle, like you said, you'll end up hating me, and not feeling anything. Why? Because I am not going to be friends with a person I am emotionally invested in, committed to, desire. I am sorry, but that's selfish, i'm not a part of your life, your not a part of my life. Half your family hates me, you replaced a friend for me in your sisters wedding.I deserve that, but ****, how would everyone look at you if you brought me to their physical attention?

 

It is over, i'm sorry I denied your friendship, and for what I've done. I am still here, consistently thinking of you. I know the long journey this will be, but atleast I have let go and blocked every path of communication. I am in NC, and will do it for sooo long. I can't have any feelings for you, I can't be your friend, and I am never going to take that offer on free sex ever. You punished me like a dog during our break up. I lost my sense of self, my respect and dignity went out the door and you stepped all over me.

 

I'm erasing you out of my memory like I have other past loves. I'm sorry for what I did to you. If I had the second chance, i'd help make this bulletproof, i'm changing and you know it, you even said it yourself "i'm jealous for the next girl you meet."

 

You know me S. You know me all to well, and I know you all to well. Your right, you should be jealous. I've learned my life lesson young, and I'll never hurt anyone like that again. Have a fun weekend, like you always do, while I work, and try to keep you off my mind. One love.

[Hoosfoos]

I had all and then most of you, some and now none of you

 

Take me back to the night we met

 

I don't know what I'm supposed to do, haunted by the ghost of you

 

Take me back to the night we met.

[BBAKER]

A, I can't believe after everything you said, you didn't even fight for what we had. I can't believe you let your ex ruin everything for us once again. I wish you had told me that you weren't over him. I wish you had spared me this immense pain instead of leading me on for a year. I cry every f****** night and you sleep soundly knowing that tomorrow there is a new guy waiting for you. You post about how you need kisses and cuddles, how you are lonely and need someone to talk to. Obviously forgotten that if you had tried to keep me in your life you could have that. You have ruined my life entirely and as much as I want to hate you, I just can't. You hurt me beyond belief. I can't deal with this pain. Yet you get to have the best time of your life, moving onto new people acting as if nothing ever happened. You wasted a year of my life, and I dropped friends and family for you. I wish you the best, even though you had me. Not that you will ever realize that.

[Throldur]

This song feels so right..

 

"Coming up to see, to see what I can find,

'Cause I've been asleep and I've lost my mind,

Waiting for you..

 

Like you lost your home and your shelter's gone

You're stuck in the storm outside,

Feels like you've gone blind and you can't see life,

but it's right before your eyes.

 

The world keeps on turning,

but we've stopped both on different sides,

Our hearts keep on loving,

It's only a matter of space and time,

'til we align

 

Coming up to breathe 'cause I've been a long way down,

Cause when we both leave, there's words I can't find,

As I watch you go.

 

Like you lost your home and your shelter's gone

You're stuck in the storm outside,

feels like you've gone blind and you can't see life,

but it's right before your eyes.

 

Spinning 'round, lose control, lost my mind,

I don't know when I'll see you again.

 

The world keeps on turning,

but we've stopped both on different sides,

Our hearts keep on loving,

It's only a matter of space and time,

'til we align"

[TunaCat]

C,

 

I'm so angry with you right now.

 

I begged you to take a couple days off of work to go to Monterey with me on multiple occasions. I wanted us to get away together, but you always, ALWAYS said you were "swamped with work"

 

Yet, today I find out you went to Monterey with her. The woman you started dating only 3 weeks after you dumped me.

 

I'm hurting right now. So, so much.

 

How are you suddenly "not" swamped with work now?